Why Not Getting What You Want is a Blessing

0:07Welcome to today's episode of the mindset mentor podcast the number one mindset podcast in the entire world. I am your host Rob Dial. If you have not yet done so, hit that subscribe button so you never miss another podcast episode. And if you're out there and you love this podcast and you want to receive some text messages from me sporadically to your phone, some inspirational stuff, if you live in the United States or Canada, text me right now, 512-580-9305. Once again, 512-580-9305. Today, we're going to be talking about why sometimes when you don't get what you want, it ends up being a blessing in disguise.

0:45Sometimes the universe does you a favor by not giving you exactly what it is that you wanted. And today I'm going to offer you a perspective. And I'm not going to say that this is factual. I'm not the type of person to say, hey, I'm standing on top of a soapbox and say, hey, this is absolute truth. You should believe this. But I just want you to just take the next 15 minutes with me and just play with this idea that I'm about to give you and just see how it lands. If you want to choose to believe it or kind of believe in it, great. If you want to just throw it to the wayside, no big deal. I just want to kind of offer you a different perspective and see if I can change your mind a little bit on the way that the world works.

1:23You know, for me, I believe that I am part of this massive greater plan that I don't know and I don't understand. Now, you guys could call it God. You could call it universe. You could call it life. Something I believe is out there. There's no religion attached to it for me. But, you know, it's a common experience that we as humans can get really frustrated or mad when something doesn't go our way. When we don't get what we wanted. Life does not go as we expected it to happen. We all have hopes and dreams and desires. If you listen to this podcast, you do have some sort of hopes and dreams and desires, and you do want to improve yourself, and you do want to get better.

2:05And it can be really hard when we have a plan, and then it goes to shit. It doesn't go the way that we want, right? It's like that phrase, whatever it was, I can't think of it off the top of my head, but it's something along the lines of like, we make plans and God laughs, right? It can be hard when life doesn't go the way that we want. We wanted it to go this way. But I don't know about you guys. I didn't create the universe and I'm definitely not smart enough to know how the whole thing works. And so I'm not smart enough to be like, hey, it should have gone this way. Do I have ways that I wish things would have happened?

2:37Sure. But sometimes it's really worth taking a step back and considering that there have been many times in your life where you didn't get what you wanted and you fast forward five years or 10 years and go, oh my God, I'm so glad that I didn't get what I wanted. Because had I gotten what I wanted, I would be in a completely different life, completely different circumstance. And so really it turns into be a blessing in disguise a lot of times. And the universe or whatever it is, is this vast, incredibly complex system that operates on its own principles, its own laws. And let's be real, none of us down here are smart enough to understand it.

3:21It is unpredictable and we really just are trying our best. We're just holding on down here, right? And many people believe that there's a greater purpose and plan, but they still have a whole lot of trouble whenever they're sitting around and things don't go the way that they wanted them to. When we don't get what we want, we feel fresher, We feel angry. We can cuss at the sky. And we might wonder why the universe is not giving us the thing that we wanted, that we've been working towards, that we think that we deserve. See, you start to think about that when you start to see that maybe it is a little bit crazy.

3:58You know, we see other people that are achieving things that we wanted. And it seems, man, they grew their business so fast. What's wrong with me? Why am I not getting this thing? Why am I not getting what I wanted? And then we step back and we can question our worth and be like, I don't know if I'm good enough. I don't know if I'm going to be able to do this thing. And we feel like we failed in many different ways. But what if we took all of that, took all of the things that happened, and we just decided to shift our perspective just a little bit and just change our perspective just a tiny bit and see what happens?

4:29You know, what if we looked at the situation from a different angle? That's really what I try to do with as many things as I possibly can. I have a perspective on life and sometimes my perspective makes me happy and sometimes my perspective makes me pissed off depending on the circumstance, right? But when I notice that I don't feel good based off of my perspective, I try to see if there's a way that I can change my perspective. And so the example I always give people is if this is your perspective and then you've found exactly what your perspective is. And I said to you, okay, imagine that you're on the debate team and now you have to debate the opposite side, the opposite perspective, what would that be?

5:08So like for instance, oh, my dad was this way when I was a child and I'm so screwed up because of that. Okay, cool. Now I want you to debate instead of why you're so screwed up for it, I want you to debate on why that was perfect. And now you've got to see it from a different perspective. Most of the times when I coach people, all I'm listening to is their bullshit and I'm just trying to help them see a different perspective because they're going through so much pain and struggle and turmoil based off of only their perspective of circumstances that are currently happening and that were happening in the past.

5:38So what if we were able to see life's decision to not give us what we want as something that happened for us, as an act of kindness rather than a punishment or some sort of setback? Because there's many reasons why not getting what you want can actually be a really good thing. Sometimes life may be protecting us from a really bad situation. So, you know, for example, you know, maybe you had a relationship, like I can think of a relationship right now off the top of my head, right? An ex-girlfriend that I had. And when we broke up and I found out all of these different things, I was so hurt by it.

6:18I was so frustrated by it. That was, you know, how many years ago? Like 18 years ago at this point? 15 years ago, something like that? Oh my God. I am so happy that it didn't work out. But 16 years ago when it was happening, I was so frustrated. I was like, why is this not working out? Right? So it may be that the universe is protecting us from that person, but we don't know about it until we, you know, fast forward years and years down the road. So if maybe for instance, you really want a job and you really, really, really want that job, and then you end up not getting it and you're really mad and you feel bad about yourself and you think, man, I'm not good enough.

6:55I'm not qualified enough. and then six months later, you know, that job, that company goes out of business and you're like, oh my God, thank God I didn't get that job, right? You've had that happen before. Something along those lines, right? Or you really want to get into a relationship with someone or you really want to be with somebody that you've been with before and then you break up and then you can't stop thinking about them and then you realize, you know, they get married and then two years later they get divorced because they cheated on their spouse or whatever it is. And we're like, oh my God, good thing I didn't stay with her.

7:26We can always see when we look back, oh yeah, man, that's really good. I see. Thank God for making that go downhill quickly. So it may be that we have our wants and expectations, but there's a greater plan that's happening behind the scenes. Once again, maybe you believe this, maybe you don't, but just go along this journey with me. Life may have a greater plan in store for you. You know, you might have your sights set on a particular goal or achievement or amount of money that you want to make or a job that you want to get. And then you find out that, you know, another opportunity presents itself and you end up going that way and ends up being way more rewarding, way more fulfilling for you.

8:07In these cases, not getting what you want was actually a gift. Like me thinking back to my ex-girlfriend, not getting what I wanted, which was to be able for us to work out was a huge gift. I'm sure you've got that. If you look back, you can actually see many circumstances that were really hard for you to go through. But thank God that happened exactly the way that it happened, right? So you've got to start to see that. So I want you to think of one perspective as I'm talking to you. What is one perspective? What is one thing that happened to you where you were really struggling as it was going through you?

8:42You were going through it, but it might've been five years ago, 10 years ago, whatever it was. And now that you fast forward to today, you go, oh my God, I'm so glad that it didn't happen the way that I wanted it to. You can see that, right? So if that's the case, the next time you have something really hard happen to you, can you remind yourself that maybe the same thing is happening? Maybe you're getting pushed into the right direction. Maybe there's something better for you. Maybe there is someone that's better for you, right? It can be a really great chance for us to find a different perspective and it can be a great chance for us to build more awareness in ourselves.

9:17You know, sometimes it's just a matter of timing. You know, if you're like, I want my business to be at a million dollars a year and you're at$100 ,000 a year, maybe you're not ready yet. Maybe you're not good enough yet. Maybe you need to get better. Maybe you need to get more mature. Maybe your skill set is not there and you need to work on your skill set. I always tell people that if you don't have what you want yet, just be better. Not in a bad way, just be better. How do I need to improve? What do I need to improve within myself in order to get better? What is it? I had a, and really what it comes down to is when you notice that, usually it's a knowledge gap.

9:51There's something that you need to learn to get better and to improve at. And that's really something that to think about is like, if I'm not where I want to be, what do I need to learn? I had a sales rep. I was telling this to a group that I coach called Mindset Mentor University earlier this week. and one of my sales reps, he was brand new about five months ago and he was brand new as a sales rep. We hired him on, trusted in him. And about three weeks in, he sends me a voice message. He's like, Hey man, like I'm really struggling. I don't, I'm not getting the results that I want. I don't know what to do.

10:21I feel bad about myself. I feel bad about my results. I said, be a sponge, learn more. When you realize that you aren't where you want to be, ask yourself, what do I need to learn? Fast forward five months. He literally just finished last month. Number one, right? Because he just became a sponge and learned and learned and learned. And so there might be like, you're not where you want to be yet because the universe is saying, hey, you need to learn more. You need to be better. You need to get better. You need to get more knowledge into your head. You need to get more experience. You need to get more skills.

10:52You need to mature more. That might be what the case is. It's forcing you to grow. You know, it's not always easy to see a silver lining when you're disappointed, when you're let down. It's natural to feel sad or frustrated when things don't go up to the way that you want it to be. And your hopes and dreams and desires are not coming true. But it's really important to make sure that you know that your desires and your goals are just your expectation the way that you think that it should be. And if you fast forward into the future, it will all make sense. If you were in the future, if you were 10 years from today, all of it would make sense.

11:27You would go, you know what? I'm seeing why I'm not getting what I want. Because I need to get better. I need to learn more. I need to get more skillset. I need to improve myself. I don't need to talk shit to myself about how I'm not good enough. What I need to do is make myself good enough. That's the key to it. And so, you know, like I said, if you go back and you think of one experience in your life that you've had, and you think back to a time when you really wanted something, you didn't get it. How did it turn out? Did you eventually realize, have you eventually, from this perspective, from this five, 10 years down the road, can you see that it worked out for the best?

11:59If you can see that, it'll help you start to cultivate trust in life's plan for you and work it out. Now, I'm not just saying just sit at home and just hope for the best. I'm saying you got to learn. You got to get better. You've got to improve your skill set. You've got to put some work in. You've got to take some action. But stay open to new possibilities. Just because one door closed doesn't mean that all doors are closed. Keep an open mind a little bit. Be a little bit more receptive. Look for new opportunities that might pop up. You never know what might be coming down the line for you. And really, when you start to think about it, you start to see yourself in struggles and you say to yourself, what am I supposed to learn from this?

12:39You know, like I trust. I give this example to a group I was coaching. I think it was this week as well. And I was saying this example because I think it's really important. So for me, like I really do trust. And when you worry a lot, worry is a lack of trust. I just trust that whatever happens is supposed to happen. even if it's not what I want, which is usually the way that it works out. Right. And so for instance, two years ago, our, uh, we had two dogs. One of them was Toby. The other one was bear. Toby passed away two years ago and Toby, we had been going to the same doctor in Austin for years and years and years.

13:13And he knew Toby really well. And, um, and you know, when Toby passed away, we took his body and he, uh, to the doctor and the doctor was in charge of, you know, getting cremated and all that stuff. about four days after Toby passed away, we took bear our puppy at the time in to get fixed. And, you know, he had to come in the doctor to come in and have that conversation with us of like, Hey, you know, there is a risk. He knew that Toby had just passed away, but he was four days later. He's like, Hey, there's, there's a risk. I just want you guys to know that. And he had to have that doctor conversation.

13:45When you put a dog under, there's always risk. And I was like, yeah, I know. And so we drop him off. He goes and gets fixed and everything like that. Don't hear back from the doctor for like seven hours, right? Drop them off in the morning. And I can feel myself start to worry. You know, I can feel the worrying. And I had to take a step back and I had to really like question myself, like, do you trust that everything works exactly the way that's supposed to? And I was like, yes. And if something happens to bear, do you trust that there's something that you're supposed to learn that is exactly as you're supposed to happen?

14:17I was like, yes, I do trust that if something happens, because I'm getting all the lessons from Toby's death, I'm getting, there's other lessons for me if something happens to bear. But I just really don't want to learn a fucking lesson today. That was my response to it. But I do trust. And what made me stop worrying was the trust that exactly what's supposed to happen is exactly what's going to happen. If you worry too much, worry is a lack of trust. Can you find more ways to trust in the flow of the universe that you are in? just learn to trust let go a little bit more and see how it happens remember that life has a plan that you can't freaking comprehend you can't always see it and most of the time you can't see it at all until you look backwards and you have to trust that everything that happens to you happens for a reason and you maybe you're just being guided towards something that's better for you when you don't get what you want maybe there's something that's actually better for you that's coming down the line it's always happening for you it's never happening to you and whenever something doesn't happen the way that you want to, take a step back and ask yourself, what can I learn from this?

15:18How can I grow from this? How can I improve? It's important to remember that not getting what you want, it's not a punishment or a reflection of your worth or you're not good enough and that's why you didn't get it. It's simply just part of the ebb and flow of life. Life ebbs, life flow, like it's ebb and flow. It's like sometimes it's really good, sometimes really bad. When it's really bad, it won't be really bad forever. When it's really good, it won't be really good forever. But really, life might just be doing you a favor by not giving you what you wanted, even though it almost never feels like it in the moment.

15:50So next time you get really frustrated, you get disappointed, try to take a step back. Try to see a bigger picture. Try to debate from a different perspective, like I said. Maybe this is all working out in your favor. Maybe you are actually being guided towards something better at all moments in time, which means sometimes you're not going to get exactly what you want. What is meant for you will never pass you by. So if you are supposed to have it, you will have it. If you were supposed to be there, you'd be there. If that relationship that you're continuing to think about was supposed to succeed, it would have succeeded.

16:29So you've got to start to think about that. Maybe what I should start doing is stop white knuckling my freaking life and just trust a little bit more because it's all going to work out. I promise you that. So that's what I got for you for today's episode. If you love this episode, please do me a massive favor. Please share it on your Instagram stories and tag me in it. Rob Dial Jr. R-O-B-D-I-A-L-J-R. We don't have a huge company with millions of dollars in advertising that puts this podcast out there. It only grows through grassroots, which means it only grows when you guys enjoy an episode and you share it with people that you love.

17:03So if you would do that, I would greatly, greatly appreciate it. And with that, I'm going to leave you the same way I leave you every single episode. Make it your mission to make someone else's day better. I appreciate you and I hope that you have an amazing day.