Why You Are TIRED All the Time

0:07Welcome to today's episode of the Mindset Mentor podcast. I'm your host, Rob Dial. If you have not yet done so, hit that subscribe button so you never miss another podcast episode because I put out episodes four times a week to help you learn and grow and improve yourself because when you improve yourself, you improve your life. So that's what you wanna do, hit that subscribe button. Today, I'm gonna be talking about why you're tired all the time. And I'm not just gonna be talking about sleep. I'm gonna be talking about some things you might have never even thought of before. But let me think, if you clicked on this podcast episode, if this intrigued you enough, There are some times in your life where you wake up tired.

0:44You go to bed tired. And somewhere in between all of that, there's at least one moment where you're like, oh my God, I could probably take a nap right now. Like I'm so tired. And it's every single day. It happens. And you're like, I'm tired. And I feel like I take a nap. I feel like I used another coffee. What's wrong with me? If this is happening to you, I want you to know that you're not alone. That's for sure. And you're definitely not broken. you might just be missing some of the really big signs that your life is putting in front of you that you need to change some things. And there are obviously physical reasons why we feel drained.

1:24Like maybe you don't get enough sleep. Sure. Maybe you're eating junk food. Yeah, that's probably not good. Maybe you have zero movement throughout the day. Nah, that's probably going to make you tired as well. Maybe you have too much wine and not enough water. Yeah, all of those things are going to make you tired. All of those things, if you're not fully taking care of yourself, your body, you are going to be more tired. We're not really going to talk about that today though. But what if you're one of the people who is trying to optimize everything and you're biohacking and you're doing quote unquote everything right, but you still feel like you're not at a hundred percent.

1:58You still feel like you're wiped out in some sort of way. I know I found myself like this years ago. I ate really healthy. I worked out six times a week and I was like, why am I still, I get so much sleep? Why am I still so exhausted? Why do I need four cups of coffee a day? And what if it's not your body that's tired? What if it's your being that's tired? You know, and this is where it's going to get much deeper because your exhaustion might not be about your body at all. It might not be about your sleep. It might not be about your food. It might not be about your water intake. Your exhaustion might be your body's way of trying to speak to you.

2:36And you're thinking that you just need to optimize another thing. In other words, your body can't speak to you in words, so it gives you messages through feeling because that's how the body communicates. And then we sit there and we're like, well, what do I need to optimize? Now I need to get a cold plunge and I need to drink this type of water. I need to make sure that I have, you know, this type of organic thing. No, maybe it's your body speaking to you, but in the only way that I you can, which is through feelings. And that fatigue that you feel, that exhaustion, that stress, that anxiousness, those are some of its favorite languages of trying to speak to you.

3:12But maybe you're just missing the hidden messages that are there. And let's kind of pull back the curtain and talk about there's three different types of exhaustion that I want to talk to you about to really dive into to hopefully see if we can figure out why you might be so tired all the time. So the first one is mental exhaustion. Do you ever feel like your brain has like 47 tabs open at one time and not one of them is even loading correctly? That's the mental exhaustion I'm talking about. Your brain feels like it's always just trying to load, but it's never fully getting there. And, you know, it can sneak up on you in many different ways, but it can sneak up on you and like you're stuck in decision fatigue over like the tiniest things.

3:57Like you're trying to figure out what to eat for lunch and you're like, hi, I don't know. I'm not maybe this, maybe this. And you just can't really make a decision. Or maybe you've got like a really long to do list and you know, you've got to take action on it, but your brain just keeps like looping on one thing and you can't concentrate on one thing at all. Like your focus is just kind of all over the place. Or maybe you're like stuck on something in the past. Like you're rethinking that something that you said at a meeting three days ago. Again, you're thinking about this thing. Here's something that's really wild with it.

4:30And I want you to understand is that your brain, if it's constantly just your brain as it's working, it's not just sitting there idly, you know, thinking about things. It's burning calories as you are thinking. One of the things that's wild that I've shared this podcast before is that professional chess players burn up to 6 ,000 calories a day during tournaments. 6 ,000 calories. That's three times what the average person does. And they're just sitting. Think about how much thinking can drain you. And so if you're an overthinker, if you're a ruminator, if you're that type of person that just can't let yourself get past something that you did in the past, you're probably playing mental chess with your job and with your family and with your schedule and with your to-do lists and with your fears and with your limiting beliefs.

5:16But if we go even deeper, those all might be kind of using your brain power. But what if you're also bringing yourself to a job that you hate every single day? People always tell me, they're like, man, it's a lot of work to build a business. I'm like, yeah, it's a lot of work to build a business. It takes a lot of energy to build a business. It takes a lot more energy to go to a job that you hate every single day for the next 50 years. To wake up in the morning and have to get out of your bed when your alarm goes off, to know that you're gonna go to a job that you don't enjoy, or that's not fulfilling to you, or that's not your life.

5:52It doesn't even have to be a job that you hate. It could just be a job that's not fulfilling to you, that doesn't feel like it's your purpose in some sort of way. Then you've got to drive there and you've got to sit in traffic for 20, 30, 45 minutes. You've got to go to the job and you've got to pretend like you want to be there, I guess you could say. And then you've got to drive back home and then you've got to sit in that traffic again and you've got to go home and you've got to turn on Netflix and eat something just to turn your brain off from the fact that tomorrow you're going to have to do it again.

6:18And it's not just today's dread. It's this looming thought in the back of your head, whether it's conscious or unconscious of, I have to do this until the day I retire. I don't even know if I can retire. If I can even retire to do this until the day I retire. So you're not just tired. You're also tired of like pretending you're tired of, of tolerating a life that you don't love. You're tired of living a life that doesn't fit you anymore. Maybe that was something that was, that you like to do before, but you're just over it. You know, like a lot of times I talk to like, I talked to a lot of nurses and they're just like over it.

6:52Like they loved being a nurse, they're younger, but it's just so many things. It's just, they're overworked and they're underappreciated and they're just like, I can't do it anymore. You know, it happens a lot with teachers as well. A lot of teachers got into it because they love kids and they want to help people, but now they're just like, I can't do this anymore. And so just because you love something in the past doesn't mean you have to do it forever. And your brain knows it, consciously, unconsciously, like you're being, you know that it's time to move on. and your body feels it. And so then you're like, why am I so exhausted?

7:22Yeah, maybe it's not the food that you eat. Maybe it's not the sleep. Maybe it's not the water intake. Maybe it's none of those things. Maybe it's like your being is just exhausted from doing this. And so that's the mental exhaustion that could be happening is it's even though you're going to this job and you're doing it, it's kind of taking up more calories in the back of your mind. It's just constantly burning. Oh my God, I don't know if I could do this. I don't know if I could do this. I don't know if it is forever until the day I die. And so that will exhaust you. So that's the first thing is that mental exhaustion.

7:50The second thing is our emotional exhaustion. You know what really drains us? People. People will drain the hell out of you. Not all people, but the wrong people will really drain you. The unfiltered, boundaryless, expectation-loaded people that want everything from you, the negative people that want to just talk down about everything. There's a quote that I love. and it's been said that Sigmund Freud said it. I don't know if he said it or not because there's some debate online, but it doesn't really matter. The quote is amazing. And the quote says, before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self-esteem, make sure you are not in fact surrounded by assholes.

8:32So I think that's the best way of thinking about it is people will drive you crazy. So before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self-esteem, make sure you are not in fact surrounded by assholes. So here's what emotional exhaustion might sound like. You might say something like, oh my God, I don't even know if I wanna go home for the holidays this year. Or like every time my phone rings, I get anxious because it's him again. Or why does everybody need something from me? Like, can I just get a break? Or if like my mom asked me one more time while I'm still single, I'm going to go insane.

9:12Those are emotional exhaustion. But let me be real with you, right? You're not a doormat. You're not a vending machine for other people's needs. And you can't keep giving from an emotional bank account that's already been overdrafted. You know, and so there's, you have to look at your life and realize that there's two different types of people in your life. And I always say there's vacuums and there's batteries. And we will be right back. And now back to the show. You know, there's the batteries or people that you're around. You can be around for 15 minutes. You have a great conversation. They make you feel fired up.

9:47They're awesome. They support you. They're motivating in some sort of way. And you leave the conversation with them and you're like, oh my God, I feel better. I feel more excited about life. I feel like I have more energy now than I did before that conversation with that person. That's a battery. They give you energy. A vacuum is someone that just sucks all of your energy from you. Like you can have a five minute conversation with them and you're like, I need a nap. Like I don't know what to think about myself in my life. Or here, even this, you can even think about having a conversation with them right now.

10:20And you're like, oh God, that is a perfect example of a vacuum. And so the number one indicator of how long somebody is going to live is not how well they take care of themselves. Although that is important. Not how much water they drink and the diet or any of those types of things. the number one indicator of whether someone's going to live a long life or a short life is the quality of the relationships that they have. There was an 80-year study that Harvard did on this. And they found out that the people who lived the longest had great close relationships. And the people who had toxic relationships in their life actually lived shorter lives than the others.

10:57So you can't tell me that that's not an emotional exhaustion. So that's number two. And the third one we're going to talk about is spiritual exhaustion. This is like the deeper layer, the deepest layer, the one that doesn't show up when you do your blood work or it's not in your schedule. It's the one where everything outside of you can look fine, but something feels off. This is the one that I had when I decided to start the podcast. I decided to quit my job where I was making a bunch of money. I had this spiritual exhaustion. I remember my girlfriend at the time, who's my wife now, was like, hey, are you starting to get depressed?

11:34I was like, I don't know. I just feel like where my life is headed is not what I want. And I remember feeling this way and I was like, something's got to change. It's this ache that's in your chest when you think about your future. It's that tension that's in your stomach when you're like, is this it? Is this all that life is? And spiritual exhaustion happens when you're living out of alignment with who you want to be or who you're supposed to be. When you wake up and you're just going through the f***ing motions like you have been for the past 17 years in some sort of way, you're just like, I don't know anymore.

12:13Like you're showing up in your life and everything looks great on paper and you might have a great family and a great bank account and you travel and you do things, but you're like, you're showing up with a version of your life where you think you're supposed to be and you're not necessarily who you want to be. And this is a deeper one. This one you really got to kind of think about. It's very subtle. Like your soul, your being, your consciousness, the spirit, the thing that's behind all of this knows better. And it's whispering. And, you know, as time goes on, it starts to yell and it's like, this isn't it.

12:50And it's like, get me out of this life. And so let me say this loud and clear. you're not lazy you're not failing you might just be very misaligned with what you should be or what you want to be doing in this life and it can this misalignment can feel like this chronic fatigue and the reason why is because your your your soul your being whatever it is that you want to call it is trying to give you the message of like dude you need to do something different because this ain't it. Sure. You, you know, you liked being an accountant for the first couple of years, you went and got your degree and now you're going, oh my God, I don't know if I could do this for another 40 years.

13:32I'd rather be doing something else. I'd rather be doing something that excites me. There are things that I love in this world and I'm not getting any time to do them because I'm too busy working at something that I don't want to be doing. And so here's where we, where we really start to work through it. Like, what do we do about this? Well, what I would recommend is not making any massive, like don't just go quit your job today. But what I would do is start noticing these things, like become more aware, start noticing like the small little things that start popping up for you of like, I don't feel like this is right.

14:02So the first step is like, notice what's draining you. Like don't get judgmental of yourself, get curious. Ask yourself like, what's the moment in my day where the energy tank like just hits empty? Or you could ask like, you know, who in my life makes me feel heavier after talking to them? Or you could say like, what do I just not love doing anymore? What commitments do I dread or avoid or secretly resent in some sort of way? Because exhaustion is often instant. It's like touching a hot stove. Like that's the message for you right there. You don't need to, you know, get a journal a lot of times to know what burns.

14:40You know, it's like, you just need to pay attention. When I think of this, I immediately feel exhausted. Okay, well, that's probably not something that should be in your life. So that's step number one. Step number two is to ask yourself why. Why is my body reacting this way when I think about doing this? Why is my body reacting when I go and do this thing? What is this fatigue trying to protect me from? Am I just doing this because I've always been doing this? Or is this what I want to be doing with my life? Or am I doing this just to keep the peace while losing my own. Like you have to realize your body is brilliant.

15:14Like your body does not lie. It doesn't beat around the bush. It doesn't care about your social calendar. It doesn't care about your boss's opinions. It doesn't care about your mom's expectations. It cares about keeping you safe, alive, and aligned. And so what do you have to do? Start listening more because the answers are there. You know, your body's trying to shift you in different directions. So that's step number two. Step number three is to then identify what gives you energy. This is the fun part. Think about the things that actually give you energy, that actually nourish you in some sort of way, like being outside or going to a comedy show or making music or painting or dancing around your kitchen to, you know, 2000s throwbacks.

15:56That's what we were doing last night. You know, I put on 2000s throwbacks and we were like jamming in the kitchen while I was cooking chicken, right? So it's like, that felt amazing. The baby was dancing, Lauren's dancing, I was dancing. Everyone was like, this is an amazing moment, right? Things like that. You don't have like, that's not my purpose in life, but obviously it gives me energy. You know, creating something with your hands. Maybe it's going on a quiet walk, going on a walk, period. Like what gives you energy and start to write them down and think about them and seriously keep a list of them so that you can put them into your day.

16:27This is like your personal battery pack where you're like, okay, I'm going to do this in my day, this thing in my day and this thing in my day today because they give me energy. And so you just ask yourself, like, how can I sprinkle more of this into my life every day, even if it's just like five minutes at a time. And you don't have to quit your job or to move into the mountains to get your energy back. You just have to stop ignoring what your body's been begging you for. And so, you know, what this is really about is to start paying more attention to what's going on in your life. Start paying more attention to your body.

17:00Your body's the messenger. It's not asking you for another espresso. It's asking you for the truth. like saying this isn't working. I don't feel safe here. I don't want to be around this person. You know, if you say yes to this, you're saying no to me. If you're, you know, you've been strong for too long. It's like, it's good time to rest. Like your body's trying to give you these messages. So maybe you're not fully exhausted. Maybe you're just not listening. And that, my friend, is the beginning to literally everything. And so what I want you to do when this podcast ends, take three minutes, do some deep breaths, put your hands on your chest and just ask yourself, what am I pretending not to know?

17:40It's there. You know it. It's ruminating. It's in the back. And you ask yourself, what am I pretending not to know? The answer is there. You're going to find it. Write it down and do one thing today to move towards more of your peace. Because you deserve that. Not someday. You don't deserve it someday. You deserve it now. So that's what I got for you for today's episode. If you love this episode, please share it on your Instagram stories. Tag me in it. Rob Dial Jr. The only way this podcast grows is from you guys sharing it. So if you'd share it, I would greatly appreciate it. And if you'd like to learn more about coaching with me, you could check out Mindset 2.0 at coachwithrob.com, which is my step-by-step process to reprogramming, deprogramming and the first reprogramming after that yourself so that you can change your life.

18:23Once again, coachwithrob.com. And with that, I'm gonna leave you the same way. I leave you every single episode. Make it your mission to make somebody else's day better. I appreciate you. And I hope that you have an amazing day.