Why you’re exhausted all the time… its not what you think!

0:28Welcome to today's episode of the Mindset Mentor podcast. 3 0 5. Today, we're going to be talking about why you are tired all the time. I'm just curious for you listening. Do you ever feel exhausted most days? Like, do you wake up sometimes from sleep and you had a full night of sleep, but you still feel exhausted? And it doesn't, it doesn't even matter how much you sleep, how much you sleep, how much sleep you get or what your sleep score on your whoop or what your bed said to you, but for some reason you just feel exhausted, right? Well, the immediate thought is physical exhaustion. And so we can go to like, well, maybe I didn't get enough sleep.

1:08Maybe I need to change the way that I eat. Maybe I'm getting poor nutrition. Sure. Those things are all, you know, definitely things that we should pay attention to. But I think there's a whole underlying thing that we never, ever talk about because we're not going to be talking about your physical exhaustion and not getting enough sleep and not eating well and the poor nutrition or drinking too much. Sure, all of those will definitely affect your sleep, but that's not what we're going to talk about today. We're going to talk about other forms of exhaustion and how it shows up in your life, and you might not even be aware that these exist.

1:41And before we start, I do want to start off by just basically saying this to everybody who's listening. Whether you realize it or not, your body is always talking to you. The only problem is a lot of people don't listen because your body doesn't speak to you in words. Your body speaks to you in feelings. And you and I, and we all need to get better at listening to our body and what our body is trying to say to us. Let me give you an example. It's completely the opposite, but we'll make sense to you, right? You ever met somebody before and there's just some sort of feeling about them of like, yeah, this person's not right.

2:18Like there's something wrong with this person. and you're like, but yeah, it doesn't, this doesn't make any sense. Like I'm going to go ahead and go through with the deal or whatever it is. I'm going to bring them on as a business partner. I'm going to, you know, end up giving them money to do X, Y, Z. And then somehow you get screwed over in the end and you're like, man, I should have listened to my gut feeling. Well, that is your body picking up on signals from the other person's body and giving you what, you know, I can't say it in words, but it's basically, it's the words of the body is the feeling, right?

2:49Hey, make sure you get away from this person. Perfect example. I had a friend come over when we were talking last night. We were talking about another person that we both know. And the first time I met this person, I was like, yeah, I don't get good vibes from him. Like, there's just something, it feels slimy. And well, he just threw an event and he had a couple hundred people there. And then he ended up screwing over a bunch of the artists that were there and the people that were speaking there. And I was like, well, that makes sense why I had that feeling. This is literally last night. So your body is always speaking to you and it's just not through words.

3:22So we all need to get better at being a little bit quieter and just listening to what our body's trying to tell us, good and bad. Okay. So there's two different types of exhaustion I'm going to talk about today that are not physical exhaustion. The first one, which is really important, is your mental exhaustion. Your mental exhaustion. A lot of times, and this can show up in a lot of different ways, but a lot of times I find that a lot of people are overthinking what needs to be done instead of actually just doing it. And I want you to understand that overthinking, you might be thinking to yourself, well, no, but it's just contained in my head.

3:55So it's not a huge deal. I'm just thinking about my to-do list and all the stuff I have to do with the kids and what I have to do tomorrow and what I have to do for the next 365 days. You might just be thinking, oh, it's just me thinking that. So it's not a huge deal. Did you know that pro chess players, professional chess players burn on average 6 ,000 calories a day by sitting in a chair. All they do is they sit in a chair and every once in a while they move their arm and move one little tiny piece that weighs almost nothing. And they burn 6 ,000 calories a day from thinking. That is three times the average person.

4:30Their body never moves. But the reason why is because there's so much thinking and there's so much planning. And if I move this piece and they move that piece, I'm going to move this piece. And what if they do this and I do that? If I move this and they move that and move that, and they're going four or five steps ahead. How many of you guys are doing the exact same thing? Versus instead of actually just taking the action that you need to, you are thinking about this action and the next action and that action. And all of that is burning massive amounts of calories inside of your head. And of course, you're exhausted.

4:59So it could be that you're overthinking what you need to do versus actually doing the thing. Another thing that it could be is that you're just not really happy with your current life circumstances. And that is just causing a whole lot of mental exhaustion for you. Because even though it might be like kind of lingering in the background, it might not be the number one thing that's in the top of your head. It's still burning up energy in the background. So like if you have a job that you hate and you have to drive there, you know, like I don't, thank God I work from home and then I have my office that I drive over to, you know, at two o 'clock in the middle of the day.

5:35But if I had to wake up at eight o 'clock in the morning or 7.30 in the morning and I had to get myself ready for a job that I hated and I have to eat before I have to leave for this job that I hate. And then I have to get in the car and I have to sit in traffic for 45 minutes to go to this job that I hate. And then I have to spend nine hours at this job that I hate. I want you to understand, and I don't think people think about this enough, it takes more energy to get yourself ready and to drive to a job that you hate and put yourself through all of that and be there all day long than it does to start a new business or find a new job.

6:13It takes way more mental energy. And so maybe if you're exhausted, you just fucking hate your life circumstances right now. And I'm not saying like, oh my God, you need to end it. What I'm saying is maybe it's time to make adjustments. Because what you have to understand is your brain is playing out the future. Your brain is a protection mechanism. So it's always three or four steps ahead of you and thinking of how it can protect itself. So your brain is playing out the future. It's not just thinking about today. It's thinking, oh my God, I have to do this every day until I retire. If I can retire, I'm only 35 years old.

6:46If I want to retire at 65, I have to do this shit for another 30 years. I have to make myself go to a job that I hate for 30 more years. I might not be able to retire. What if I die at 85 and I have to do this for another 50 years because I can't retire? Maybe you're tired because you're just tired of all of the circumstances of your life that you need to get together and change. Maybe you don't like where you live. Maybe you don't like your job. Maybe you're going to college right now and you don't like the degree that you're getting, but you're just getting it because you want to make money or because your parents told you that you should go for it.

7:20And your body is screaming at you, do something different. So maybe the reason why you're exhausted is not because you're not eating right, not because you're not sleeping enough, but because your brain is just constantly working out, oh my God, I don't know if I want to keep doing this. Oh my God, I don't know if I want to do this forever. I don't know if I can get myself to keep doing this forever. And it's going out into the future. And it's starting to think about all of the things that your life possibly could be if you decided to do something different. It's thinking, man, you know what?

7:51I've been wanting to start my own company. I want to do this. I want to get into this hobby and maybe make some money doing this this way. But I'm spending so much damn time at this company and spending so much damn time with living in the city that I hate with people that I don't enjoy being around. And so that could be the possibility for you. So of course, there's a physical exhaustion. But what about the mental exhaustion? And we're going to talk a little bit more about how to work through this, right? And we will be right back. And now back to the show. The other type of exhaustion that you might be going through, you might be going through emotional exhaustion and it's showing up in your body.

8:28Maybe you have some toxic relationships that you should start working yourself out of. Maybe you're in a relationship with someone that you don't want to be with anymore. But then you're thinking to yourself, oh my God, but we've been married for 16 years and we've got three kids under the age of 15. And what's going to happen if I end up doing this? And so maybe I'll just take it on the chin for the next nine years and just do whatever I have to do and push myself through it until, you know, eventually they can all be out of the house and then I can finally divorce this person. Right? And so you're thinking to yourself, yeah, that's a lot.

9:00That's a lot of emotional exhaustion to have to do something. I'm just going to stick it out for another nine years. Ugh. Right? That could be exhausting for you. Maybe you have other toxic relationships around you. Maybe you have some friends that have just been around for a really long time and you're just sticking with them because you have history with them. But you know you don't want to have a future with them. Maybe you have family members that are toxic to you and they talk down to you and they don't celebrate your successes. And they, you know, tell you about how terrible of a person you are and try to get money from you.

9:34Whatever it might be, there's these toxic relationships where they're just kind of all occupying energy in your brain all day long. No wonder why you can be so exhausted. Maybe you don't have any boundaries. Maybe you want to set boundaries and you kind of consciously know what your boundaries are, but you've never gotten clear on your boundaries. You've never communicated your boundaries. Or you have no boundaries and you're exhausted because everybody is stepping over your boundaries and you just don't get any time for yourself. You don't stand up for yourself. Of course, that can cause mental exhaustion.

10:05Maybe you're thinking, oh my God, I got to go home for the holidays. I got to go to Thanksgiving. living. And then, you know, this person, you know, my aunt always gets drunken and she always starts calling this person names. And it's just, it's been this way for 14 years. And it's, it's just this, I got to go home for the holidays. And like my mom, she's always this way. My dad's always this way and they're divorced. And, you know, they always fight with each other when we're sitting down for dinner and I have to spend part of the time with her and I have to spend part of time with him. And it's exhausting because then when I'm at home, my mom calls me and she, you know, she always wants to complain about this.

10:38And she always wants to complain about my dad. and she wants to complain about these things. Or she's asked me, like, why are you still single? And, you know, when are you going to have kids? And when are you going to get married? And when are you going to graduate? And it's just trying to push me along. And I don't want to do all of those things right now. Or maybe your mom's calling you every single day and you're seeing her number pop up and you're going, oh, shit, I don't know if I can talk to her right now. Maybe that's it. And I've said this before, but there's two different types of people in this world.

11:06There's vacuums and there's batteries. So being around a battery is someone when you're around, they give you energy. Where you can be around somebody for a few hours and you leave their house and you're like, God, I'm so glad that I spent time with them. That was so much fun. I can't wait to do that again. Like recently, Lauren and I went and had a dinner with this couple that we recently found and got in touch with. And they came into town and we went and had dinner with them. And we left and we're like, that was so much fun. That was amazing. We had like a three-hour dinner. That's what a battery is.

11:36there are some people that are vacuums that just suck the energy out of you that that you could be around for three minutes and you feel like you have no energy after there's some people that you can you don't even have to be around them but you can think about being around them and they exhaust you and so maybe what you should do is like start looking at your life and say who are the vacuums in my life who are the people that are just draining my energy maybe you should stop spending so much time with them maybe you should start spending more time with people who are batteries for you and i want you to understand it's like i'm telling you it's that your brain and your body don't speak in words, but they're always communicating with you to do something different, saying, hey, this is not the thing.

12:14This is not what we need to be doing. And your brain is always communicating back. Your body's always communicating back, just not through words. And so we just need to be quieter and be like, what am I feeling about this situation? What am I feeling about this person? What am I feeling about this job? What am I feeling about living in this city? Okay, and I'm going to give you two steps to really work through this. Number one is to start noticing. Like, what is the circumstance that makes you tired? So maybe you wake up in the morning, you don't feel tired, but then you start thinking about how you have to go to this job.

12:47And then immediately you start getting tired. Start dragging ass, right? It's pretty sudden if you pay attention to it. It's not like something that takes a long time. It's pretty quick. It's like putting your hand on a hot stove. Your body's going to be talking to you immediately when you put your hand on the hot stove. Pain. Pain. What is that? Stimulus to do something different, to change. Oh my gosh, I need to change what I'm doing. Oh, I need to take my hand off the hot stove. It's an immediate thing when you do something wrong. Your body's always going to be giving you signals about stuff like this as well.

13:19So, you know, the first thing is start noticing. So, okay, I notice I'm really exhausted. Okay, what has the past 10 minutes been for me? And you can start paying attention to what it is that it might be. Oh my gosh, I am emotionally drained when I start thinking about this relationship. I am physically drained when I start thinking about this. I am mentally drained, whatever it might be for you, right? So that's the first thing is you need to become, you need to really become aware and start by noticing. And the second thing is to now ask yourself, why is my body, but why is my body telling me not to do this?

13:49And so it's like, okay, I wake up in the morning. I immediately feel exhausted. Five minutes after, you know, everything's all good. Everything's fine. I brush my teeth. I go to the bathroom and then about five, 10 minutes later, I start getting really exhausted. Okay. I'm noticing this. Why is my body telling me not to do this? What is it telling me not to do? It's telling me not to go to work. Why is it telling me not to go to work? Well, because number one, I don't enjoy my job. My boss sucks. The people around me are, are, you know, complainers all of the time. And I know that I don't want to be there in 30 years.

14:21In fact, I don't even want to be there today. Okay. So what is it trying to tell me to do? It's trying to tell me to do something different the same way that putting my hand on a hot stove, my body's trying to tell me do something different. My body's saying, hey, do something different. Okay, let me write out and figure out what that is. Okay. And then the third part of this is ask yourself what, and this is something to really journal through, what gives me energy? What gives me energy? I don't mean like coffee. I don't mean caffeine, but like, what can I do to give myself some more energy right now?

14:49You know what? I love being outside. You know what? I also love playing with my puppy? What if I took my dog to the park and I played around for a little while? That would give me more energy. That would light me up inside. And so the key to this I want you to understand is that I want you to get better at listening to your body. This is something that, especially for me as a guy, I never knew this. I was never taught this. And so listen to your body a little bit more. Slow down. Try to get a little bit more curious about what's going on under the surface. You know, and And don't take it so serious.

15:19Life is not that serious. It's not like everything has to change immediately and that your life is complete trash and it's just horrible right now. It's just like, hey, maybe there's some things that I need to change. And so the key is just listen to your body. Slow down a little bit more and just start to listen to your intuition a little bit more. Start to get a little bit more in tune with that because I promise you, your brain and your body are always sending you signals. It's always talking to you. The only thing is it's not talking to you in words. So that's what I got for you for today's episode.

15:47If you love this episode, please share it on your Instagram stories and tag me in it, Rob Dial Jr., R-O-B-D-I-A-L-J-R. Also, if you love this podcast, you will absolutely love something I have. It's called Mindset Mentor Plus. It is a community of people who are all together learning, growing, improving themselves. And on top of that, every single podcast episode that I put out on Mindset Mentor, Mindset Mentor Plus listeners get a whole lot more. They get worksheets for every single episode, three, four, five, six pages sometimes. sometimes to go a little bit deeper into every single episode with journaling questions, with prompts, with assignments, all of that.

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