Stop Letting Dumb Decisions Control Your Financial Future

23:29Dr. John Delony:Well, if you do that, you're going to get fired. Yeah. So an easier method would be just quit. Be easier. Be easier on everybody. Or you can just ride it out for nine months and, you know. But it's the business that they're in, and they have now said, okay, you work for us, your job is to help someone find the bolt, the screw, the lock, and to sign them up for a credit card. That's your job. And if you're not doing that, you're not doing your job. That's what they're saying. Right? Yes, yes. Yeah. And so, and you don't want to do that. And so, I honestly, I think you probably get another job that doesn't require that, that pays about the same, don't you?

24:18Yeah. Yeah. I, I enjoy helping. I have a maintenance background, so I really enjoy helping customers figure out their problems and, and helping them with their DIY projects. And, and I enjoy that, doing that aspect of it. And like at first I never had a problem. It was never really pushed the whole credit card thing, but now it's almost, it's every day I walk in and, and it's just, I want to say to them, I'm like, I'm not doing that. I will help customers get their products. I'll help them with their problems and help them solve them and fix it, but I'm not pushing the credit card. And I told my wife, I said—

24:58Dr. John Delony:I understand the moral aspect of it, but the bottom line is they own the company, and they said this is your job, and you don't want to do the job. Yes, I guess. Yeah, you're right. It shouldn't be the job. The job ought to be what you're talking about, helping people with their DIY project, and it ought to be fun to do that. I have a friend that back during COVID was bored, and he went to work in one of those stores. And the thing that drove him crazy was they had a policy that no matter what happens, if someone wants to return something, you have to take it back. And he had a guy come in that had had a lawnmower for two years mowing his grass with it and brought it back and said, I don't like it.

25:39Dr. John Delony:And he's supposed to give him a full credit. and he goes that's immoral I'm not doing that and they go yeah you are and he goes no that's wrong that guy's ripping us off we shouldn't do that and they go no that's our policy we take it back no matter what no matter how absurd and and they fired him because he wouldn't take the lawnmower he said I'm not going to do it and they're like well that's what your job is you work for us well that's true if you work for someone they tell you this is your job you have to do the job or you don't get to work there I mean that's a simple thing right so um I I don't disagree with the angst that is created by you here, I honestly, if I were in your shoes, I'd go look for something else.

26:17Dr. John Delony:If you want to sit down with your supervisor and say, hey, listen, I don't want to cause a stink. I don't want to get fired. And I'm not going to make some big moralistic speech here, but I'm here to help people with their DIY stuff. And I really enjoy that. And I'm really not going to be doing this credit card thing. If you think I should quit, if that's the case, you tell me. You could do that. Okay. And Doug, can I pass something along to you? And this is the pot talking to the kettle here. Yeah, absolutely. How often do you spend having imaginary conversations with your boss and your owners?

26:55I've had a couple. You've had a bunch where you're going to sit them down, you're going to tell them, and they're going to be like, oh, that's right, that's what's up. and you always have the mic drop moment at the end and it feels so good. Let me tell you this. It's not going to work that way. Those imaginary conversations are a complete and utter waste of your time. In fact, they're not even benign. They detract energy that you could be spending on loving your wife well, loving your kids well, and being at peace. And so commit to not having imaginary conversations. Either have it or don't, and then seek, like Dave said, man, you're working a part-time job.

27:29Go find another part-time job, man, and then sail off into the sunset. I'm not going to give you my character and my integrity and extra energy that could go to my family. It's not going to do it.

27:39Dr. John Delony:Tara is in Birmingham. Hey, Tara, what's up? Hi, I am a 29-year-old single veterinarian. I am three years out from school and having pre-marriage discussions with my boyfriend. Yay. I neither have debt. He owns his house. My student loans are a big discussion point. I have$301 ,000 in student loans with a 57 % average interest. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Stop, stop, stop, stop. You said 57%. 5.7? 5.7. Yeah, okay. Dang, Gina, that's going to be a little different. Okay. Sorry. Who's Guido here? I currently work for the federal government. Yeah. And I make$97 ,000 a year. So I was planning on student loan forgiveness, but I don't trust that it's going to stay around.

28:40I don't think it is. And we're looking at potentially having kids before then. And I don't know that I will stay full time. I'd rather set aside money for my own small business. but I have such a large sum of student loans. I'm not sure what I should prioritize paying it off before kids come or setting aside money for my own business. So I can have that option when kids come and put big loans. No,

29:15Dr. John Delony:um, here's the thing. I know a lot of veterinarians. We work with a lot of them in entree leadership, and I've got several personal friends that were veterinarians. And you're always very, very intelligent people because, you know, a medical doctor only has to learn one body system. You have to learn multiple species body systems. And so I know that you're a bright person or you wouldn't be a DVM, okay? So, and you worked really, really hard to get to be a DVM. And you sacrificed a lot of your future in$300 ,000 to get to be a DVM. And so I want to quit and stay home and raise babies. You gave that up when you signed up for$300 ,000 until you get the$300 ,000 cleared.

30:18Dr. John Delony:you're a vet you're a vet you signed up to be a vet kiddo and you got to go be a vet and you gotta get this stinking mess cleaned up that's why i want to have my business no you don't you don't have the money to do a business you're broke yeah you're three hundred thousand dollars in debt you make 97 a year and you can make 150 a year by just picking up side gigs working emergency medicine and some of the other stuff and you need to go to go to work you need to work 24 7 all the time and get this out of your life. Now, if you guys get married and you can live on his income, and it sounds like he's very financially responsible, well, if you're making$100, you can clean up$300 pretty quick, can't you?

30:57Dr. John Delony:If you're making$150, you can clean it up even quicker. And if he throws in, if he's got money to add, when you're combining income, that's even faster. Before you do anything, before we talk about I want to quit and stay home, you don't start talking about starting a business and I want to quit and stay home in the same sentence. Those are incongruent. so you got to decide which you is going to be but for now eight years ago you decide you're going to be a vet three hundred thousand dollars worth a hole worth and so now you got to clean up your mess

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33:10Dr. John Delony:Well, we wish we could get to every call and every question here on the show. If you've got a money question and you want an answer for your situation, head over to our website and use Ask Ramsey. Ask Ramsey is our free AI tool that's built and trained on proven Ramsey principles. Can you imagine if we dumped like seven years of radio calls and podcast calls into an AI and let it know how to answer exactly how we would answer? Oh, and all the Financial Peace University lessons. Oh, and all the books I've written all dumped in there. And then you can answer the question the way we would answer the question, right?

33:46Dr. John Delony:That's what Ask Ramsey is, and it's completely free. You're going to get answered the same way we would. Maybe not quite the level of snark, but probably some level of snark. Ask your question today at RamseySolutions.com or click the link in the description if you're listening on podcast or YouTube. Matthew is in Orlando. Hi, Matthew. How are you? I'm good. Appreciate you both taking my call. Sure. What's up? So I'm looking to be a first-time homebuyer. I'm 27 years old, and I have about$120 ,000 saved up towards my first home. How'd you do that? I'm just staying out of debt for a number of years.

34:24It builds up over time.

34:25Dr. John Delony:Look at you. What do you make a year? About$80 ,000 after, like, stocks that my company gives and stuff like that. Yeah, but haven't you heard that all Gen Z's life has been ruined by the real estate market? That it's impossible for you to buy a house, and yet you, young man, went out and saved$120 ,000. I'm so proud of you. Well, thank you. But, yeah, I just want to make a wise decision with my first home buy. I think I can comfortably get over the 20 % needed for a CMI, but I wanted to get as much direction as I possibly could. Okay. What are you thinking about doing? I want to buy a smaller home, so something like the$250 ,000 to$300 ,000 range.

35:10But I want to make sure that my funds I'm putting in are going to give me still a comfortable home that I can be able to enjoy for that range.

35:20Dr. John Delony:Yeah, that makes sense. Well, that just involves a lot of shopping. And so what happens is I have found this. When I teach leadership, I often tell guys when they're making decisions, and gals, when you're making decisions, he with the most options and the most patience makes the best decision. They also win more negotiations, by the way. So options mean you look at a lot of properties. You don't go look at three and buy the fourth one. And you learn the market. You drive the neighborhoods. You drive them on Friday night to see if it sounds different in the neighborhood than it does on Thursday morning.

36:05Dr. John Delony:You know, you check the traffic patterns. You learn and you feel the air. And you look at the properties. You look at how old they are, how worn out the appliances are. You know, what am I getting myself into? And you just gather data and let that data soak into your brain, and it'll become what's called common sense after a while. And then you'll make a much better choice than somebody that just moves to town and looks at three houses, right? Okay. You're a marathon runner anyway. You're not a sprinter. You like to go steady. That's your style. I can tell by the way you raise that money. You save that money over time.

36:47Dr. John Delony:use that same personality trait to make this decision. Okay. Yeah, I was wondering about just, I was told like foreclosure was an option, but I'm not very comfortable with that kind of thought, but I didn't know if maybe a home inspection would be enough to kind of warrant some of the risk that might be coming with that. You need a home inspection and a title policy no matter what you buy. Foreclosure doesn't necessarily mean bargain. and it doesn't necessarily mean the property's trashed, but it could mean both. So you just get in there and dig around, and you go, okay, I looked at four houses on this street.

37:26Dr. John Delony:They're all 300. This one's 150, but it needs a roof. It's going to need all new landscaping, and I'm going to have to paint it, and all new appliances in the kitchen's got to be torn out. Okay, so I'm going to have another 100 in it, and so I'm going to have 250 in it when I'm done, but it'll be like new. okay that might be a deal or it's trashed and it's a foreclosure and they're still trying to get as much for it as everybody else is trying to get for theirs which happens all the time by the way but people buy it and think they got a deal just because it said foreclosure but it's the same stinking number as the house next door right that's not a deal so you you know that you know a deal because you've looked at the other ones that aren't a deal gotcha okay and then you know I wouldn't suggest you get into a heavy rehab, but if you need some new bushes and a new paint job, you can probably do that one.

38:21Dr. John Delony:But I wouldn't, on my first home, 27 years old, I wouldn't suggest becoming a remodeler all of a sudden. Okay. Just because they do it on TikTok doesn't mean you need to do it. Right. Yeah. I got a feeling you're going to do really well, Matthew. That guy's got it. He's got it figured out, John. Yeah, I like that guy, man. And I think the word you used that resonated with me is patience. And for a guy like that, once he flips the switch, I'm going to buy. The real challenge is can you take six weeks or six months and just go slow and the right place will emerge. You have cash and you've got diligence and you've got a good salary.

39:06You're good. Yeah, there's nothing on fire.

39:09Dr. John Delony:Just be patient. Yeah, dig up something that you like the house, and it's in good enough condition that you can see it becoming, with the money that you have, the place that you're going to be for a while. Don't call it your forever home, because it's not. There's only one forever home, heaven. John's in Detroit. Hey, John, what's up? Hey, guys. Thanks for talking to me. I really appreciate it. Sure. How can we help? Oh, man. So about six months ago, I had about$250K in the bank. I lived in a$900 apartment, debt-free, and owned my car. And I'm a self-employed musician, so I was doing pretty good, making about 50 to 60 take-home a year.

39:53So I decided to purchase a home back in November, put about half down on it. And ever since then, I've been really sick. I actually got sick from the anxiety of owning a home, and I feel like I'm over-leveraged. My mortgage is about$1 ,500 a month, and I did get sick from kind of having the mortgage and the stress of it. And then I was in a car accident. My car got totaled, so I ended up having to get a vehicle, and now I have a loan on it for about$9 ,000,$12 ,000 with warranty. I'm going to cancel the warranty. So now I have half my money is gone. I have about$100K left in the bank because I was sick.

40:37I have uncertainty for the future. And, you know, I'm just kind of really frightened about being a self-employed first-time homebuyer. I've been a musician for 30 years, and I was actually considering maybe selling my house to reach that.

40:51Dr. John Delony:How much is your house payment? It is$1 ,500 a month. You did say that. I'm sorry. No, that's okay. And you make$4 ,000 a month. Roughly,$4 ,000 to$5 ,000. depending on the season. And you don't have any other payments? No, besides my... And you have$100 ,000 in the bank. Right. But, sir, I do have my taxes coming up, which is about$5 ,000. I have to replace the garage roof for about$3 ,000. I didn't escrow my property taxes, which I think I might do, and that's about$6 ,700 a year because I thought I'd rather make money. Well, you still got$75 ,000, and then we paid off the car, so now we still got$65 ,000 and you have no payments and nothing outstanding.

41:36That's right. Have you ever owned a home before, John? No, that's it. How old are you? I'm 53, and I overpaid for it. It was in the height of the market. Hold on, hold on, hold on. Yes? You've never done this thing before. That's right. So cut yourself some slack. Give yourself some grace. You're doing a thing that you've never done before. You've never felt this kind of weight on the squat bar. You got two guys telling us, telling you, we know you can lift this. Oh, is that what you guys are saying? Yeah. It's a bad idea to sell the house. Here's what is important. And Dave has helped me with this a lot personally, is when I feel something really big, especially about money, it's always important to look at the math on the paper.

42:27Dr. John Delony:Facts are your friends. Facts are your friends. The facts are the$1 ,500 out of$4 ,000 shouldn't cause you any stress, especially when you've got$65 ,000 in the bank and zero debt and zero bills. And that's where you are. So the stress is manufactured. It's not mathematical. The house is not causing you stress. Your perception of the house is causing you stress. Amen.

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43:52Dr. John Delony:Welcome back to the Ramsey Show in the Fairwinds Credit Union studio. Dr. John Deloney, Ramsey personality, is my co-host today. Andrew is with us in Louisville, Kentucky. Hey, Andrew, what's up? Hey, Dave, how's it going, man? Better than I deserve. How can I help? well um so i'm 21 and i got two kids and um i made some financial mistakes uh around the age of 18 and i'm 70 000 in debt now um and here recently i got into a settlement and i'm going to be getting around 250 000 and i'm wanting to play the waiting game i don't want to pay it off i just want to let it fall off on its own. And I want the best advice on what I can do.

44:41Fall off?

44:42Dr. John Delony:Fall off of what? Fall off of my report, the statute of limitations. No, honey, you owe the money. Correct, I know, but after seven years, it should fall off. So how did you get$250 ,000? What happened? So a kid's mom bought him a 3D-printed firearm. or I mean a 3D printer, and he 3D printed a firearm with it, and he accidentally shot me, and now I went after her homeowner's insurance policy, and that's what I got out of it. That's the wildest thing I've ever heard. You got shot by a 3D printed firearm? Yes. So the handle, the lower handle, the magazine, and then the slide part is all 3D printed.

45:34The only thing metal would be the barrel, the trigger mechanism, and the bullets.

45:40Dr. John Delony:How old was this kid? I'm just curious. This is fascinating. Fourteen. And he knows how to build a firearm from scratch. Yeah. Well, there's YouTube, I guess. Oh, my gosh. Wow. The wild world we live in. Yeah. That's nuts. Okay. So they pay off$250 ,000. You owe$70 ,000 on what?

46:06the dodge hellcat i'll just i put it put it to you there i went and got it brand new where is it i got approved uh it's gone um where'd it go the only reason they did

46:18Dr. John Delony:it got sold okay uh you got the repo i couldn't tell you i have no idea Like I said, I made some— You weren't that drunk. Where'd the car go? It got sold. Who sold it? You had to sell it. You owned it. Yes. Okay, so you sold it. It didn't get sold. I sold it. Okay, when you sold it, you didn't pay it off? No. How did you sell a car and give a title without paying it off? No title. That's a lot of the deals nowadays. People like cars that way. What had happened was the fuel pump had went out, and it was going to cost around$1 ,500 for just the part alone. And, you know, as I mentioned, being 18, I made bad financials.

47:12These days, I'm kind of up on,

47:13Dr. John Delony:and I never heard anybody buying a dadgum car without a title. How did you get tags? It came with it. they didn't buy it for, I guess you would say, leisurely driving, if that makes sense. Are they Too Fast, Too Furious? Yeah, a drug dealer doing runs, and so it's still titled to you. No, I would say morally track stuff, because a lot of the tracks, they don't require cars to have titles or VINs or anything like that. All right, so you owe$70 ,000 on a car that you didn't pay off when you sold it. Correct. All of it is that? Yes, that's it. Okay. Well, when you get your$250, you write a check and you pay the people that you owe because you screwed them.

48:01Correct.

48:02Dr. John Delony:Okay, good. Now we have$180. Now, my question would be, though, could I come at them with, say,$50, a full check? I didn't come at them with anything. I don't know. I want you to be a person of integrity here, brother. brother like you walked into a place even though you're 18 and you said hey i'll give you this amount of money if you give me that car right now and they said deal and they made a bad deal and you were 18 didn't know what you're doing but you shook hands and signed a piece of paper brother correct and just because a 14 year old printed a gun and shot you with it like that and you have this windfall of cash all of a sudden thank god you weren't permanently injured yeah so man do What do you make a year?

48:51Dr. John Delony:Right now I'm making close to 70 of where I'm located. Good. Good for you. Okay. All right. So you call them up and say, I need to settle this debt. What will you accept? And see what they say. And whatever they tell you, write them a check for that. Okay? Then maybe they'll take 50. They might. Okay? Okay. And here, one of the things that we find as we've studied wealthy people is not like I was told when I was growing up, not by my parents, but by people in my neighborhood. They all said wealthy people are crooks, okay? And all the data that we have today tells us it's quite the opposite. it.

49:34Dr. John Delony:And so if you want to become a wealthy person that changes your family tree, that your children have a different life than you had, and then your dad had, and then his dad had, and you change everything, you have to become a person of extreme integrity. Quit doing crap under the table. cars with no titles and quit looking for a shortcut on everything just do the right thing show up for work work your butt off while you're at work and people will notice because that alone is unusual and just become a man of extreme integrity and that would be my prescription for you if you want to call them and say all right guys i owe you this i did this deal when i was 18 I know you probably got 70 or 100 or whatever on it.

50:26Dr. John Delony:What will you take? I'll write you a check today if you'll make me a deal. And then just their problem. They might say 50. 50 would actually be a good deal for them. And then the next time you get ready to buy a car, be a grown-up, write a check for the car, buy a father of two car, which a Hellcat would not be on the list. Okay? And, you know, and pay cash for it and get a title and go get tags on it and be like a functioning part of society. And then that leads you towards being able to grow and to function and to win. Dave, when I started working here, right, all this was new to me. And I kept going to these meetings about the Deloney brand.

51:15And I remember after the third or fourth meeting, I kind of threw a little fit. And I was like, guys, I don't want a brand. I don't like that idea. I don't like that word. I don't want that. And Tim Newton, who does all of that here globally here at Ramsey, he's one of the most amazing minds I've ever been around. He said, John, all a brand is, is who you are when you're not in the room. What do people think about you? How do they feel about you? What do they know about you when you're not in the room? And that changed me. And I want Andrew, when he's not in the room there in Louisville, Kentucky, I want everyone to know, oh, that guy is a man of integrity.

51:54He's a stand-up dude. That guy, we can count on that guy. He's a great dad. He's a great dad. He's always going to play his good. Great husband. Yes. He's a wonderful neighbor. Yes. He serves. That's who you are when you're not in the room because of how present and generous you are when you are in the room. Be that guy.

52:22We'll be right back.

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54:12Dr. John Delony:Marie is in Phoenix. Hi, Marie. How are you? I'm good, Dave. How are you? Thank you for having me on the show, Dave and John. Sure. What's up? I'm wondering if you can settle a long debate between my boyfriend and I. Yes. Yes. I love these. We both own our separate homes and we have our separate home expenses. But he stays at my house about four nights a week. And our debate is, like, should he contribute to rent or some household expenses? and he feels that he shouldn't. How old are you two? I'm 62 and he's 51. Why are you not married? No. Why? Because we've both been married before and he doesn't want to get married.

54:57Dr. John Delony:And he doesn't want to pay any expenses. No. But he wants to sleep there. Yes. Yes. He believes he takes me out to dinner like once a week. No, I mean, yeah, you missed the point, I guess. Yeah. No, I get it. I get it, yes. Okay. Why are you settling for this? Because it works for me, I guess. It doesn't. That's why you're calling. Well, we've fought over it for years. Yeah. You should stop that. Yeah. The fighting part. You should decide and end it.

55:40and the relationship or and no i'm just saying in the fight there's just a lot of fight i don't

55:45Dr. John Delony:fight over something for years i just either get in or get out of the fight and i'm not gonna i'll lose the fight or win the fight or something but i'm not gonna we're done we're done talking about this years yeah yeah it's like you're also your pet how long have you been dating about six years oh good grief okay i'm um okay so the the truth is the way i answer questions on the show is i try to think about uh what what i would do if i were in your situation and i can't put myself there because i wouldn't be in your situation i would get married if i were you guys or i would or i wouldn't move on i break up with somebody who disrespects me so much yeah that they They want to sleep with me, but they don't want to marry me.

56:26Dr. John Delony:So, yeah. I'm having trouble honestly answering your question. I'm not trying to make a judgment on you. I'm just trying to say I can't put myself in your shoes. I can't make that work. Can I throw something in here, Dave? I think he has his expenses. You have your expenses. And I think you lose the argument. Then you decide if you want him to sleep there or not. Okay. But you have your house. He has his house. You can be over at his house or you can be at your house. Well, we can't be at his house. Why? Because he lives twice as far from our jobs. And I have dogs and he doesn't want dogs in his house.

57:05And obviously I can't leave them here. Okay. That actually brings me closer to a question I have. I think I'm right on something. I think you're asking him to spend money on expenses. that is your work around to more emotional connection with this guy. What do you mean by that? I mean, I don't think this is about dollars and cents. I think this is about, are we doing this thing together or not? And he is being very clear. We are not doing this together.

57:36Dr. John Delony:I don't do dogs and I don't do marriage and I don't pay your expenses. I take you out there. There's a lot of things he doesn't do. Yeah. Yeah, I think, Dave, this is less about money, and this is more about, like, he won't do my dogs, he won't marry me, he won't make a long-term commitment, so I'm going to go around this way and see if I can squeeze some emotional connection by you're participating in the bills, you're participating in the rhythm of the house. Some sign of commitment. Some sign that we're doing this thing together, and he's super clear. Behavior's a language. We are not together.

58:14Dr. John Delony:Yeah. I sleep with you when I'm at your house. I get what I want. I then go and do my life by myself privately in my own way. That's a huge, I mean, there's red flags all over the place. And you're okay with that arrangement. Yeah, that's what you want. That's your decision. Yes. Be a grown-up and stop fighting about it. Just say this is the way this is going to be, and I'm accepting it, and I'm going to move on. I'm not going to choose to be miserable. If you're going to stay in this relationship, I think he wins the argument. Yes. I agree. Yeah. I think you have your expenses. He has his expenses.

58:45Dr. John Delony:and I'm not going to charge him for a booty call. And then you get to decide whether you want to continue in this expense arrangement. Yeah, yeah. That's what's going on. I mean, I don't want to be that person. I don't want to be any of these people. All right. Natalie is in Boston. Hey, Natalie, what's up? Hi. I am just wondering if I should go after my ex-husband's 401K. For what? uh unpaid child support he hasn't paid me in about 11 years um we've been divorced 11 years why haven't you done something before now uh he's it's a little complicated he's been in and out of prison and uh i don't know i i guess i've i've tried to um file with the state that i live in and they basically told me you can't squeeze money from a rock there's been times he's been on the street, and he's in there in and out of jail for domestic violence and drug charges.

59:46And I think he forgot that this exists because I think he would have cleaned it out if had he known. And yeah, so that's where I'm at.

59:57Dr. John Delony:This exists. So you found it. He had something sent in the mail. And it came to you? And I opened it. Yes. Hmm. Okay. And how much is in it? About$60 ,000. How much are you owed? Over$100 ,000. How long has it been since you talked to your divorce attorney? I didn't have one. I think he magically thought that if he didn't show up to court that we wouldn't get divorced. He didn't want the divorce. So 11 years ago, I did it myself and got granted a divorce and got sole custody. When's the last time you talked to him?

1:00:42Last year. Every year he'll kind of call and be under the influence and try to say he wants to see the kids or something. But it's not really a— Do you need this money? Or are you mad? Sort of. I guess I'm just mad. I'm engaged to be married to a wonderful man in June. He doesn't want to wake the beast. He said he left me alone for the past few years for the most part, besides that occasional once-a-year call or so. I like him. Dave may disagree with me. I agree with your fiancé. I agree with your fiancé, too. You do? Because I think you saw this number, and you got really pissed off, rightfully so, and you felt that you remembered a decade of grinding it out, three jobs, not seeing your kids.

1:01:28You remember all that came to the surface immediately. Right. And you want to start this whole thing over. And you remember how hellacious the divorce was when he wasn't responding to anything. He was like, yeah, I dare the sheriff to come kick me out. He's a bad dude. He's not a good guy. No, he's not a good guy.

1:01:45Dr. John Delony:So I – yeah. And lastly, I'll tell you this. I don't know the answer to the legal question. And you'd have to find someone that does know the answer, like an attorney, if you wanted to ask someone. but as I understand it, a 401k cannot be touched by a lawsuit. I know that part is true. I don't know if that is true on child support, if that allowed child support would violate that or not. And so I'm not sure you can get to it anyway. Right. If you want to put that part to peace in your mind and go, well, I can't get it anyway, then unless he voluntarily pulls it out and gives it to me, you can make his life miserable like it isn't already until he made it, until he pulled it out and gave it to you.

1:02:30Or you can take the cinder block that is him out of your backpack for good. Yeah, just walk away. You've got a good new guy that you're marrying with. You're going to create a whole new life. Your kids are stable and healthy because of the awesomeness of the last 10 years, the grinding and just making it all work that you've done the last 10 years.

1:02:47Dr. John Delony:Yep. Man, choose peace over this one. That'd be my opinion. You can go burn him to the ground, but you're going to get burned too. Yeah, that fire's hot. And I don't think you can get the money anyway. I'm not sure. I don't know if you can get it or not in a 401k with child support, but if it was a regular lawsuit, I can tell you, you can't get it. It's not accessible. It's accessible in a divorce. A divorce attorney or a divorce lawyer probate can make you split up a 401k in the process of a divorce. So they may be able to do it on child support. I don't know. But I think overall, you don't need it, and you sure don't need him around.

1:03:22Dr. John Delony:So I'm with your fiancé and John.

1:03:29Thank you.

1:03:57Thank you.

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1:06:08Dr. John Delony:Don't be normal when you can live like no one else. Start Every Dollar for free in the App Store or Google Play. Evelyn is in Atlanta. Hi, Evelyn. How are you? Good, how are you? Better than I deserve. What's up? Okay, so I'm 24 years old and I've been working since I've been 15. I haven't built any real savings and I put all of my expenses on a credit card. I have like$2 ,000 to$3 ,000 that I spend a month on my credit card. And after I pay that off, I pay it off on four every month. But after I pay it off, I only have like$100 to$200 left. I basically live paycheck to paycheck and I've been living like that ever since I started working.

1:06:54And I do, I use the college savings that my parents had for me as a down payment for a duplex. And I rent it out. But whenever big repairs come up, I have to borrow money from them to pay it off. And I just want to stop doing that. I want to break the cycle and start saving money, stop using my credit card and just breaking the bad habits of spending money. Like, it's no tomorrow.

1:07:20Dr. John Delony:So you make about$3 ,000 a month? I make, like, yeah. Like, yeah,$3 ,000,$4 ,000. Okay. But you said you put$2 ,000 on the card. I put, it's usually my, every time my, it's usually like$3 ,000 around there on the credit card. Like, I put all of my expenses there. What do you do for a living? I work for the post office. Mm-hmm. Okay. And what's the duplex worth? I got it with equity. So I got it with 20 can equity. It's worth$250 right now. And what do you owe on it? Basically$230. Okay. So it's really not a big blessing. It's more of a curse. I would say, yeah. It costs you money. It doesn't make you money.

1:08:16Yeah.

1:08:17Dr. John Delony:Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah. Sell it. You think so? Well, I'm trying, I'm wanting to use that as like a retirement plan. It's not a retirement plan. It's draining money. It's not adding money. It sucks. Money. I mean, I get rental income from it. Honey, it costs you more than it makes you. Yeah. Evelyn, the only way you can go forward here is to exhale and say, what I've been doing is not working. I'll try something else. Yeah. And what do you guys, like, suggest? Like, the truth is I understand I have a spending problem. And, like, I don't think you do. I think you have a systems problem. I think the system you're using to handle money sucks.

1:09:04Dr. John Delony:So what would be wrong with just cutting up your credit card and paying cash for things? no nothing honestly i think i've just done it so long i know but just let's try something new this sucks you called me because it wasn't working so cut up your credit card take your paycheck turn it into money pay cash for your groceries put some money in a checking account and use a debit card or whatever to pay your light bill pay your landlord i assume you're renting uh no i actually live with my parents oh okay yeah okay so you don't have any overhead you have three thousand dollars a month coming in you got a car payment no actually i don't have any debt actually other than the house yeah uh-huh okay yeah i mean what if you cut up your credit card and just took your paycheck and used it to live on yeah i mean it's the same thing it's same thing you're doing.

1:10:02Oh, yeah.

1:10:05Dr. John Delony:Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Use the, jump on and on the app store and get the every dollar app and put it on your phone and say, I got this much coming in at 3 ,200 to coming in this month. And I'm going to give every one of those dollars a name. If you want something different than you have now, you're going to have to do something different than you do now. and right now I'm listening to you and I've been coaching people with money for 35 years and your duplex idea is broken it sucks it's taking money from you it's not adding money to you and you're living like a 12 year old in terms of how you're handling money you just spend it until it's gone and then you're not you have no emotional connection to it whatsoever I'm asking you to be an adult step back and get over the top of the money and tell the money what to do before the month begins on the EveryDollar app.

1:10:56Dr. John Delony:Make every one of those dollars behave and then go do that exact thing with that money. And you're going to be no worse off. You're actually going to be better off because you're going to be in control of it. And right now you just spend until you run out. And you're stuck at your parents' house at 24 years old. And so on top of that, on top of your post office job, I want you to go get a second job. You're 24, you're unattached, you're living at home. Go get a second job so you can start earning more money than just three or four grand a month and you can sock that money away and begin to build yourself an emergency fund, begin to build yourself a financial cushion so you can get your own place one day.

1:11:33Right now is the time to work like crazy.

1:11:35Dr. John Delony:Get your own life as soon as possible. As soon as possible. Hannah is with us in Newark, New Jersey. Hey, Hannah, what's up? Hello, Dave and John. Thank you for taking my call. Sure. How can we help? My question is about charge-offs and how long they stay on the credit report. Seven years from date of last activity. Okay. All right. So I have one in which it's recorded that on my credit report, I paid it all. I paid my last payment, not paid it off, but my last payment was in May of 2019. and that's exactly the same month and year they closed it. Closing it doesn't matter. The last date you paid on it or used it in any way, the last date there was any activity on the account, seven years later it will not be on your credit bureau report.

1:12:38Dr. John Delony:Spoiler alert. All right. Spoiler alert. That doesn't matter. They still will sue you. Whether it's on your credit bureau report or not doesn't matter. It's still a legal debt. Right. Dropping off your credit bureau report does not help you. It only helps you go borrow more money. Well, I'm not interested in borrowing any more money. That's what I mean. That's why Dave says it doesn't matter. But I was just wondering how long it takes to come off, and you said seven last— Seven years from the date of last activity, and they could choose to do a report on it and start the seven years over because an activity coming from them is also activity.

1:13:25Dr. John Delony:So what kind of debt is this? Okay, well, it was credit card debt. Okay, and how much is it? It's like$6 ,000-something. And what do you make a year? $50 ,000. Okay, do you have any money at all? No, not right now. Not right now. And I'm trying to save up. If it drops off in May, and I don't think it will probably, usually they download the data on the credit bureaus once a quarter. And so May would be the seven-year date, and sometime in the following quarter it might drop off. Okay? And if you called them and offered them$500 cash as settlement in full, they might take it. and that would clear up the debt.

1:14:19Dr. John Delony:But it wouldn't be paid in full, just settled. Settled in full, and it'll be on your credit bureau as settled, a bad debt that was settled for seven more years. Doesn't keep you from doing anything, but it does keep you from getting another credit card, hopefully, for a while anyway. But that'll get it actually out of your life, to settle it with them. and super old credit card debt, they will settle for pennies on the dollar. Get it in writing and do not give them electronic access to your checking account if you're going to do that.

1:15:26We'll be right back.

1:15:40Dr. John Delony:Better than I deserve. What's up? So I am currently trying to figure out if it would be a good idea or if it's morally okay to accept a position at a job, knowing that I may be moving to another state or area as early as July and as late as December. Okay. What kind of a position are you talking about accepting? So I would be transferring from my current – I work within a school, and I would be transferring to another building within the district. But I don't want to take another – I don't want to accept another position knowing that I may be gone as early as July. I heard that. What kind of a position are you talking about?

1:16:28Dr. John Delony:You're asking me if it's morally acceptable to do this. What is it? I'm a school social worker. Okay, so if you take this, you're going to move from one school to another as a social worker? Yes. Okay. And so, well, a good way to test ethics is very simple. Treat other people like you'd want to be treated. So the supervisor and the principal at that school where you would be going, if you were sitting in their seat, how would you want Corey to handle this? I would want somebody who is being forward with me and, you know, is being honest about the fact that it may happen or it may not happen. So what is it dependent upon?

1:17:20Dr. John Delony:What would cause the move to happen? Accepting a job in that area. So you're continuing to look for a different job while you took the new job, but in a different state. Yeah, we were looking to relocate in December. My family and I. Oh. Does your wife have a job? Yes, she does. In the new place? No. So we're both looking to relocate, but that's kind of what is delaying us now because we haven't found anything in that area yet. I would take the job. The chances of this all working out on this timeline that you've imagined is slim and none right now. Neither one of you have a new job in the new place yet.

1:18:06Are you a finalist for a job in a new place? No, it's just she's from that area, so we're wanting to move back down. So right now it's just a discussion.

1:18:17Dr. John Delony:Yeah, so where did you come up with— You never actually talked to anyone about being hired there yet. Yeah, where did you come up with July or December? we've um been applying places but we haven't got anything back but um yeah we've been pretty active about it but haven't heard anything back well the answer to your question you answered the question yourself the answer to your question is it morally acceptable to take the new job the answer is yes if you tell them i'm i think we might move but i'm not sure yet and i want to give you a heads up on that before you give before you give me this position and then based on that they have to make their decision as to whether they want you or not in this school district would that conversation cost you your job i don't think it would cost me my current job what about the new one it could potentially cost me the new one okay then stay where you are is the new and more money and a promotion of any sort or is it just a different different location it would uh be a better work environment.

1:19:23Dr. John Delony:Yeah. Okay. Well, I think you just have to be up front. I mean, that's how I would want to be treated if I was the principal at the new place. I don't want to go to the trouble of onboarding a guy, going through all the paperwork crap, everything else, knowing he's going to be gone in six months and he didn't tell me. Yeah. If you were going to work for a company in an executive type role, I 100 % wouldn't hire you. but if you're going to work for the local coffee shop as a barista, well, they turn over like yesterday's underwear anyway. So it doesn't matter, right? So it depends on the environment that you're going into is high turnover situation.

1:20:08Dr. John Delony:I mean, if you're going to work at Home Depot as a clerk, they're not expecting you to be there in six months anyway. So, but here you're kind of making a commitment. So you need the people you're making a commitment to need to make their decision based on the actual knowledge of what's going on. Otherwise, yeah, you're misleading them, and that is unethical. I agree with your – I think your conundrum – I think your heart was already telling you that, wasn't it? Yeah. Yeah. And that's why you asked the question. You wouldn't ask the question if you didn't have any conscience about it. But I would also say, like, I'm trying to imagine – I worked in education for 20 years.

1:20:41If somebody came and sat down and said, hey, thank you so much for this opportunity, I want to be honest with you, my wife wants to move back to be around her family. We haven't found anything. We haven't found anything. That might happen someday. It's going to take us both getting jobs. It might be six months. It might be six years. But I just want to put that on the table that we do have a family vision of going back home one day. I would say I want you on my team for that level of integrity, and I would take the gamble probably. It's not all going to work out in six months. And so if you're a great social worker, man, there's going to be schools lining up for you to come work for them.

1:21:15So, yeah, be honest, but also tell the whole story. And then let the chips fall where they fall.

1:21:22Dr. John Delony:Tell the story, and then you can sleep at night. You go, okay, they didn't want me because of that. I'll stay where I am. Fair. And so the price of me, the price of my integrity is I get to stay in this place, this less good environment. Sure. While I look for a new job in another state. That's right. Yeah. And that's always, always, always, when you get to the end of your life, a good thing that you did it. Jaden is in Oklahoma. Hi, Jaden. How are you? Hi there. I'm very well. How about you? Better than I deserve. What's up? Hey, well, I'm curious about if I'm being maybe a cheapskate about buying an engagement ring.

1:22:05Dr. John Delony:Yes. 75 cents, Dave and Busters. Turn the knob, brother. If you have to ask the question, you are. No, I'm kidding. I'm messing with you. So what are you thinking about spending? Right now, I'm thinking about$4 ,000. Okay, and what do you make a month? In a month, I make five. Okay. That's okay with me. That's not cheap skating. I tell people no more than a month's income. The jewelry store tells you three months' income, but they sell jewelry. Kelly's producing the show right here. She just passed out. You don't like that, Kelly? She wants about seven or eight months. Wow. Okay, so here's the thing.

1:22:48Dr. John Delony:There is no direct correlation between the length and quality of the marriage to the expense of the ring. As a matter of fact, there might be an inverse correlation. That the more expensive the ring, the less likely you are to actually make it. Where is this cheapskate idea coming from, you or from her? Or your buddies? It's more from her. She sent some really beautiful rings. They're more like the 6, 7, 8 kind of range. but we're both still in debt, and I'm just trying to figure it out. All right. The difference in four and six is not a deal breaker one way or the other. But have you had that conversation with her?

1:23:21Yeah. She said she wants the same. Yeah, we've sat down. No, the conversation underneath the conversation about, hey, we both owe a bunch of money, and I would love to be able to buy you an$8 ,000,$10 ,000 ring. I don't have that kind of money. Do you want me to save up and give you this? Have you all had that conversation? maybe not the way you're posing it if you can have that conversation it'll set you up to have a great marriage for the rest of your life yeah because that's that's marriage right there being able to have the question that is actually the question beneath the thing y 'all are fighting

1:23:51Dr. John Delony:about and here's the thing it doesn't have to be forever either it's one ring so sharon's is a her engagement ring is a point two three means you can't even find it with a magnifying glass is so stinking small. Man, talk about, she bought low. Point. She bought low. Two, three. She R-O-I'd that one, man. Yeah. Well, guess what? The thing she wears on her hand now is causing Carper Tunnel Syndrome. I only have one working eye because I look directly at it one time. Like a spotlight that you bring in Hollywood actors with. That's exactly right. But yeah, we traded to the point two, three and it's in the safe.

1:24:27Dr. John Delony:We kept it for sentimental reasons, but not for value reasons. And it's worked for 44 years. So, yeah, I think the conversation around it, Jaden, is more than the cost. Yes. It's more important than the actual cost in this situation. But somewhere around a month, and four to six is somewhere around a month. You're right. If you told me$18 ,000, now we've got a different problem. Now you're in Kellyville, and that's a whole different level of drama. Oh, oh, oh.

1:25:28We'll be right back.

1:25:37Dr. John Delony:Welcome back to the Ramsey Show in the Fairwinds Credit Union Studios. I'm Dave Ramsey, your host, Dr. John Deloney. Ramsey personality, number one bestselling author, is my co-host today. Ray is in San Jose, California. Hi, Ray. How are you? Hey, Dave. It's such an honor to talk to you. You too. I have a question. I am, well, a little back story. I'm 36, newly married. I'm working on the death snowball trying to get my and my husband's new life in order. And I have a uncle who is 78 years old here in California who has asked me to be the executor of his will. In that, he said he wants to bless me with his rental property in Arizona in that will.

1:26:23It sounds great right off the bat, but I know you're the expert on real estate. And I just, while he's still here with us, is there anything that I should be prepared of? I don't want to walk into a rude awakening when he passes. And, you know, if there's$8 ,000 left on the mortgage or any repairs or taxes, and here I'm trying to clean up my life and I get stuck in a bear trap.

1:26:50Dr. John Delony:Okay. Does he own a lot of other assets as well? um he has a um kind of like an elderly mobile home that he's leaving to a nephew of his and so i kind of looked in the wheel and i said you know uncle if there is a mortgage left which is eight thousand as of today uh how would that be taken care of and he said well i would want you to use the money in my bank account and i said well that's not in your will so um we the good news is we have a meeting with his estate planner in May. And so I kind of just wanted to call him this show and get my debts in order to... Okay, so he's going to give you the property.

1:27:30Dr. John Delony:What was he going to do with the money in his checking account? Who was going to receive that in his will? With the mobile home was going to be the nephew. Oh, okay. So the nephew would get the checking account and the mobile home. The house in Arizona, does it have a mortgage? It does. There's$8 ,000 as of today left on it. Oh, that's the$8 ,000. So there's no money coming to you currently to pay off that mortgage. Correct. From what he's saying, he's, oh, just use the money in my bank account. And I said, well, you know. Well, then you'd have to leave me the money in your bank account. Right.

1:28:05So I'm like, let me call Dave and get my stuff in order.

1:28:08Dr. John Delony:So the will needs to state that the cash, that$8 ,000 cash comes to you, Other cash and any other cash above$8 ,000 and the mobile home go to the other nephew, your cousin, I take it. And then you have a paid-for house that you're receiving. Do you have any idea what this house is worth? Right now it looks like$300 ,000. Okay. It's a wonderful gift. I've never been to Arizona. Well, you're going to sell it right after he dies. Correct. Yeah, and you're going to use it to have your life, you and your new husband's life, and you're going to pay off whatever debt you've got and or build wealth for you and your kids and your husband, and you're going to go forward.

1:28:51Dr. John Delony:We do not need a rental property in Arizona. So an executor, if you look at the word executor, it has built into it the word execute. Correct. So your job, if you're the executor, is to execute what the will says. So you're very wise to do what you're doing and make sure that you agree with what the will says. And the only other question I've got is, who's going to be pissed off that's got nothing? He doesn't have a wife or any kids. It's just this nephew and myself that he says he can trust. What about your mom or dad, whoever's his brother? Mom or dad, whoever. He's a second uncle. So my dad, my dad isn't left anything.

1:29:44Is that going to be a problem between you two? Let's be real, probably.

1:29:51Dr. John Delony:Okay. Then you all need to talk about that before he dies. Yeah. He needs to tell your dad that I'm leaving this to your daughter and I'm leaving this to your nephew. Correct, correct. Because I don't want you to inherit drama. Your job is not to execute drama. Your job is to execute his wishes in the will. And sometimes people don't, they piss people off after they die rather than while they're alive. And so that is the case here. So I would make this to where it's a slam dunk. There's no question. Nobody's mad. If you're going to be mad at somebody, you need to be mad at the uncle while he's alive.

1:30:31Right.

1:30:31Dr. John Delony:Yeah. Not you. You didn't do anything. I appreciate that. Last question. So when this property comes in and sold and it's paid off, then the only thing that comes out of the sale is the taxes of Arizona or any repairs to get this property up to date so it can sell and the real estate agent gets their half and we call it a day? Yep. Not their half, but they get a commission. Yes. Yes. We call it a day. And There is no income tax on this. If you inherit it at death and sell it within six months, market value is the basis, so you won't have any income tax. Oh, I didn't know reset the basis. Thank you so much.

1:31:10Dr. John Delony:Yep. Stepped up basis on death. I did not know that. So she's not going to have to pay capital gains tax on this at all? No capital gains tax on it at all. If she holds it for five years and it goes up to$600 ,000. Then pay taxes on the$300 ,000 increase. Excellent. I didn't know that. Okay. If you sell it within six months, it's supposed that you sold it for market value at time of death. Dave, would you sell it right away? Yes. Or would you just? Instantly. Okay. You don't want to be a landlord. Okay, thank you. There's no point that you had$300 ,000 piled in the middle of your kitchen table and you went and bought a rental house in Arizona.

1:31:45Dr. John Delony:In a state you've never been to. Yeah, that's not even a possibility. so you know and that's reverse engineering which is called a sunk cost analysis and that tells you don't do it don't keep it don't keep it don't keep it don't keep it this is how why people keep we moved from atlanta to chicago and kept our house as a rental that's a landlord by default and that always is a recipe for bad things to happen like someone changing their harley oil in your living room yeah that's that's when this kind of crap happens right there that's exactly what happens. Bad idea. Bad idea. So yeah, you're Ray, you're approaching this with a lot of wisdom.

1:32:27Dr. John Delony:You're, you're the executor. You're going to have to execute. And you've already realized that what's in the will and there wasn't money to pay off your house because the will didn't state what happened to the checking account money. And so now you're having that reworked with the lawyer. That's wise. I would also just ask your uncle to call your dad and say, Hey, I don't want you to be mad at anybody. I'm leaving this to your daughter and you need to be happy for her. And your uncle can do that. And it'll keep your dad from getting himself twisted. And if he wants to get twisted, he can do it now instead of at you later.

1:32:59Dr. John Delony:And you don't get into all kinds of drama over a tiny little estate of an old trailer plus 300 grand. But Dave, we've taken the call where she's going to get 300 grand from the sale of this house. and dad's going to be knocking on the door saying, where's my cut? Yeah, I want some. Yeah. That should have been mine. That should have been mine after all I've done for you and all that stuff starts. Yeah. So you got to go ahead and just nip it in the bud. Nip it, nip it, nip it in the bud. I love what you say, Dave. If you need to have a hard conversation about your will, have the courage to do it while you're still alive.

1:33:33Don't be a coward. Yeah.

1:33:46Thank you.

1:34:21When I talk to people on The Ramsey Show, 90 % of the problems I hear come down to one thing, not having a plan. They're not living on a budget. They have no idea where their money's going. Money is just happening to them instead of them happening to their money. And guys, that is so normal, but it doesn't have to be normal for you. And that's why I want you to go download our EveryDollar budget app. EveryDollar not only helps you tell your money where to go with a budget, it also builds a plan to free up extra money so you can pay debt off faster and start building wealth. And the best part, your plan is completely personalized to your life.

1:34:59It's the same advice that you would get if you called the show. And it's right in your pocket. So don't keep living normal. Go download the EveryDollar app, answer a few questions, and get your plan today.

1:35:26Dr. John Delony:The Ramsey Show Question of the Day is brought to you by Why Refi? Defaulted private student loans don't fix themselves, but you can fix them. Why Refi helps you refinance into a low fixed rate payment that fits your budget, so you can get back on the baby steps and move forward. Go to yrefy.com slash Ramsey. That's the letter Y-R-E-F-Y dot com slash Ramsey. Might not be in all states. Today's question comes from Brittany in Rhode Island. Brittany writes, My in-laws are very wealthy, but they did not save a single dollar for their kids' college expenses, and they will leave them a large inheritance when they pass away.

1:36:03They've told my husband and his siblings to expect to each receive close to$4 million after they pass away. And my husband has over$40 ,000 in student loans. Should I be happy that my husband will receive an inheritance later in life instead of having help now? Or is it okay to be annoyed that this debt could have been avoided if they had planned for their college differently? All right, here's what I want you to do, Brittany. I want you to go outside in the garage and open the car door in the garage and put your hand in it and just slam the door repeatedly because that's about as useful as you spending one second of thought or energy or feelings over this matter it just is what it is what it is they made a decision that they wanted their kids to pay for their own college and they get to do that and because dave i guess she could be annoyed all she wants but it's just a waste of time and energy and stories you're about to be cut you're about you're gonna get four million dollars when they pass away assuming you're still married.

1:37:05Exactly, exactly. I don't know why anyone would spend a second of energy over this. His parents made a choice, and they clearly have done well for themselves financially.

1:37:14Dr. John Delony:When you married your husband, you knew he had$40 ,000 in student loan debt, and you knew his mom and dad. You just didn't know the numbers around it. Yeah. Pay it off, move on. So just love them where they are. They're your husband's parents, and they don't do things the way you would do them and uh welcome to in-laws and um you know no it's not okay to be annoyed mind your own business yeah yeah that's a good mind your business mind your own business and take care of you and your husband and don't worry about what other people do spend all your time being annoyed about what somebody else should do what if i had four million dollars this is what i would do you don't have four million dollars so it's not a problem for you and you don't get them You don't get to make this choice.

1:37:56Dr. John Delony:So you make choices based on what you want to do in your future. And you don't know, Brittany, that his parents didn't have three friends whose parents paid for their college, and they watched their buddies do a bunch of drugs and get kicked out of school, and they told themselves from a place of value, we want our kids to have skin in the game when they go to college, and your husband chose to take out student loans instead of cash flowing it. And so if you're going to be mad at somebody, be mad at him about it. But you don't know why they made the decisions they made. And they're about to give you all$4 million.

1:38:28Dr. John Delony:When they die. Relax. Well, I don't even care if you get that or not. Choose joy, man. Yeah. Work on controlling people that you can control. Which is you. And there's one of them. It's the one in your mirror. Yeah. Yeah. And just move on. Oh, my gosh. No, I think you've got mother-in-law trouble and you're trying to give a logical reason why you're mad at your mother-in-law. See, I think she's pissed off that they have to pay back this student loan money. No, she's just pissed off at her mother-in-law in general, and then this gives her a reason to be. Handle your business and get on by your life.

1:39:10Be grateful.

1:39:11Dr. John Delony:Let it go. Let it go. Frozen. Just let it go. Dave's favorite movie and soundtrack. Glenn is in Anchorage. Alaska. Hey, Glenn, what's up? Hey, so I am self-employed, and I have a variable income, so I was wondering how many years I should stay self-employed if I noticed with the economy that my income is not enough to save for retirement. Well, the variable's not the problem. The problem is it's not enough. My income's variable, but I'm fine. Yeah. So the problem is not variable. The problem is you don't make enough, right? Yes. I mean, you have an occasional bonanza month, and then the rest of the month are just dry beans.

1:40:04Dr. John Delony:And the total is still not enough to live on. It's enough to live on, but not to put away for retirement. Well, that's living. You have to plan for retirement, or you eat dog food. So I got a plan for retirement. That's part of living. So what do you make? If you're self-employed, so you file your taxes, what is the profit of the business that you pay taxes on each year?

1:40:31So currently with the assets that I've made to the business. Assets or not profit.

1:40:37Dr. John Delony:What is the profit of the business that your tax return would show me if I opened it up? um so taxes is showing a negative but the like what goes in my banking account is so last year was positive 13 000 the year before that okay the problem is you're living at the poverty level sir you need a job okay you're not making enough money to eat on that's the thing so if your income taxes are showing negative there's a reason because you didn't make any money and then what it must do is you got some depreciation or something that you're taking and that allows you to cash flow 13k but overall your assets are going down probably more than 13k or you wouldn't be getting that depreciation so you're really not making a living and if you can't see a way to triple that or quadruple that in the next two years then you need to close this and go get a position where somebody will pay you 40 50 60 000 a year you're going to feel rich if you had that happen if you made a below average income, you'd feel rich compared to what you're making now.

1:41:42Dr. John Delony:So it's not the volatility, it's the lack of income overall. And that's the thing you do. So my friend Henry Cloud wrote a book called Necessary Endings. He said we end something, a job, a business, a relationship, a whatever, we end something when we lose hope that it's going to get better in the future. And so if you're married to an alcoholic You lose hope that they're actually going to get healed That they're actually going to get dry and sober You lose hope, then you have to end that relationship Because you can't continue to pour into the crazy world In your case, you have to end this business Because we've lost hope for many years you've been doing this And for many years you've been starving to death doing it And unless you really can tell me there's a reason that I'm going to make$40 ,000 and not$13 ,000, or I'm going to make$50 ,000 and not$13 ,000, showing on my taxes that I really made that in real money.

1:42:42Dr. John Delony:Unless you see that, then you need to close this and get a job. And I think you probably need to close it and get a job. That's what it sounds like. It's tough to do, though. Mark's in Greenville, South Carolina. Hey, Mark, what's up? Hey, guys. Thanks so much for taking the time to take my call. I've got a little bit of a question about income and kind of providing for my family for the future. Long story short, my wife and I are missionaries who have come off the field and we're transitioning back to the States. My wife is, we have two kids, 14 and 12. My wife is disabled and she's not really able to hold down a job consistently.

1:43:23but she's also unfortunately in a position where she doesn't qualify for disability. I just graduated from nursing school, did a two-year program, and I'll be wondering a new job here. And my take-home pay every month is right around$4 ,000. We're able to live because of the generosity of a local ministry here that provides housing to missionaries who are transitioning to and from the field. So it's low-cost rent. basically, so that we're able to kind of live. As I look forward...

1:43:57Dr. John Delony:Nursing school, did you get an LPN and you passed your bars? RN. It's a registered nurse. Okay, so why are you making so little? That's actually... It's an$80 ,000 to a$95 ,000 a year job, and you're making$48 ,000. Well, it's about the highest offer I got, which is the highest, the hospital system that pays the most, is right about$70 ,000 a year. To start. To start. to start, correct. Yeah, and I'm brand new. That's not$4 ,000 a month. That's$7 ,000 a month, minus taxes. Right, right. I only work 36 hours a week. So when you do the math, it's like$35 an hour times 36 hours a week. And then you factor in taxes, it's like$4 ,100 a month or something like that.

1:44:47Dr. John Delony:The great news is you've entered a wonderful career. and if you keep pushing and growing your career, you're going to go up in income dramatically. You could be making$150 within the next three years. And in the meantime, you're going to end up renting for a little while and rebuilding your lives after the mission field. But you've got a good career field to win with.

1:45:16Dr. John Delony:It's that time again, folks. Tax season is here. I know some of you would rather bury your head in the sand until April 15th than face your taxes. But here's a better idea. If your tax situation is complicated, get in touch with a Ramsey Trusted Tax Pro today. That way they can take the stress off your shoulders once those tax forms come in and teach you how to keep your tax bill as low as possible. But don't wait. Ramsey Trusted Pros can book up fast. Go to RamseySolutions.com slash tax pro to find one who serves your area with excellence. That's RamseySolutions.com slash tax pro.

1:46:13Dr. John Delony:Your personal and professional growth can hinge on this one thing as much as anything else. The one thing is communication skills. And the good news is that's a skill you can develop. That's why I'm excited about this new book that I've done called Stop Talking, Start Communicating. It's now available for pre-order, and it's paired with the DISC assessment. So it uses your results on the DISC assessment to help you adapt your communication style so you can build trust and connection and influence. If you think about how other people are thinking, it helps you communicate directly to them. I took this DISC 40-something years ago the first time, and I took it home.

1:46:52Dr. John Delony:I told Sharon, I said, look at this thing. It's absolutely amazing. to get to it's like she read it and she's like yeah that's what's wrong with you and i went no that is me but so and we use it here at the office after we when we're hiring people and we can walk up to someone's office and there's a disc set their disc profiles on their wall right before you walk in so you know who you're talking to so pre-order today 34.99 and you get 30 worth of pre-order items which includes an extra assessment which is good for the spouse or friend and that kind of thing. So check it out. Ramsey solutions.com slash store.

1:47:25Dr. John Delony:Stop talking, start communicating. Scott is in Atlanta. Hey Scott, how are you? Great. How are you Dave? Better than I deserve. What's up? I see on my screen. You're a baby steps millionaire, man. What's your net worth? 4.3 way to go, man. Give me a little breakdown on that. How's that breakout category-wise? So 2.7 is retirement, which is 401's mutual funds, Ross. 725's a house, and then 918 and other mutual funds and some common stock. Cool. How old are you? 66. 66. And how much of this 4.3 million did you inherit? it? My wife and I each got around$20 ,000 when our parents passed away. Were you already millionaires when you got that?

1:48:21Oh, yeah. Yeah.

1:48:23Dr. John Delony:Okay. All right, cool. So you're not millionaires because of inheritance? Not even close. Yeah. So what was your career? I was a salesperson. Okay. What What about your wife? She's a retired dental, we're both retired, but she's a dental hygienist. Gotcha. Okay. You have a four-year degree? I do, and a master's. Okay, in what? Business? Yeah, MBA. An MBA. Okay, what was your GPA? Well, in undergraduate, it was not stellar, I'll admit to that. But in graduate school, it was 3.35. Okay, 3.35. All right, cool. All right. So you're smart, but not a genius. Okay. No, you had fun when you were 19, like you're supposed to.

1:49:10Good for you.

1:49:10Dr. John Delony:Good for you, man. Yeah. So do you think that if – so you're 66. You're my age. I'm 65. If someone's out there that's 25 and they're listening, do you think they can still become a millionaire starting from nothing like you did today? You bet. You know, it's pay yourself first, stay employed, stay invested. Okay, because you got over half, about 60-something percent of your net worth is in your retirement account. Yes. You're worth$4 million. Your house is$725 ,000. Yeah, it's not$7.2 million house. It's a$725 ,000 house in Atlanta, Georgia. Well, I live in North Georgia, but yeah. So you have a nice home, but it is not a mansion.

1:50:04No, and when we built this house, we built during COVID, had no intentions of having that kind of house. It just turned into it because of rampant building costs for that two-year period when we were building.

1:50:19Dr. John Delony:Yeah, yeah. Okay. But the house is worth that now, easy. It's worth seven and a quarter now, right? It is. Oh, yeah. All right. Good. Good for you. Well done. Well done. Okay, so what advice would you have for your 25-year-old self? You said stay employed and keep investing. I think I heard. Yeah, stay employed, pay yourself first, get some good term insurance. What do you drive? What do you drive? Well, I just bought a brand-new truck. What did you buy? I bought a UMC Denali. Oh, that's nice. Yeah, we got our wife. All right. We got her Honda Pilot. Okay. Very good. Very cool. All right. So a GMC Denali and a Honda Pilot, and you're worth$4 million.

1:51:09Dr. John Delony:Good. Not a Lamborghini. No. No. I've got a real fancy boat. It's a John boat. There we go. It's my favorite kind of boat. Hey, Scott, let me ask you this. You've been a salesman. Have you been a salesman your whole career? More or less. I started, well, I was in the Army. You know, out of college, I went in the Army. Okay. I made a whopping$12 ,000 a year at that time. You know, again, that was... What's the most you ever made in your life in a year? Family? $200. Okay. So when you're a first starting out salesman, you've got real good months and real tough months. How did you have the discipline or what mindset did you have to keep investing during those times?

1:51:54Because those would be times when I'd be tempted, especially when I'm younger, trying to support a family, that I'm going to hold off. I've got an up and down income. I'm going to hold off on the investing. I might put some in savings when I have a really good month. But you started investing early. Yeah, I ran, believe it or not, as a young lieutenant. a Templeton salesperson showed up at my quarters and sold me some life insurance, some term life insurance that I'd never heard of, and a mutual fund. And, you know, and I was like, well, I don't plan. I don't have any kids. I'm not married. But, you know, if something happens and I'm in the military, I'll give my parents something.

1:52:41And that sort of started the whole process. You know, the concept of monthly investments. And, you know, over the 40 years, it's been, you know, I've been to a lot of, we, Dave and I, have been to a lot of downturns in the market, and you just don't panic. Stay in.

1:53:02Dr. John Delony:Absolutely. I love it, man. Congratulations. Congratulations, Scott. You're a baby steps millionaire and icon. You give inspiration to everybody out there listening that this still can be done. the great American dream is not dead. Stay off of TikTok and keep investing and keep employed, keep investing and keep employed. I think he said that like four times. Just keep working and keep investing and keep working. And then you'll look up and you can do anything you want to do because you understand his income is off of these investments is$400 ,000 a year. And his highest income he ever made was$200 ,000.

1:53:38And to all the regular people, not the TikTok people, the regular people listening, I want you all to hear at 4.2, 4.3 million dollars paid for a house, retired. They went to buy their fancy car and his wife got a Honda Pilot. Right. Like it's like you said, it's not this fancy BMWs and those aren't bad or wrong or anything. but there is a sense of that's a family that has is at peace with where they are and what they are

1:54:09Dr. John Delony:yeah and want something reliable and i'll guarantee you she got a honda pilot because it's grandma car it's gonna be yeah it's gonna be the car they drive for us for us for life put the grandkids in a lot of room one of those grandkids is going to take that car one day probably probably that denali will be on the side of the road by the end of the weekend but i'm just kidding i just need to make a gmc joke there yeah it didn't work no it's a great joke It's a great truck. Yeah. So, folks, the bottom line, the reason we bring the Baby Steps millionaires on here all the time is because 89 % of America's millionaires, that's 9 out of 10, are millionaires not because of inheritance.

1:54:45Dr. John Delony:79 % received zero. 5 % received a small amount, like$5 ,000 or$10 ,000. Another 5 % received a substantial amount. but after they were already millionaires. And in his case, in Scott's case, he received a small amount after he was already a millionaire. So he did get an inheritance, but 79 and 5 % and 5 % is 89. That's 9 out of 10 millionaires are not millionaires because of inheritance. That's data. And if you don't agree with that fact, you're what's known as wrong. so quit telling people that they can't do this compound interest and self-discipline and living on less than you make and living on a budget and being in agreement with your spouse actually freaking works

1:55:52Thank you.

1:56:02Dr. John Delony:Hey guys, Dave Ramsey here. Every day on this show we help people work through real money problems and figure out what to do next. Now you can get that same kind of help anytime with Ask Ramsey. Ask your money question and get answers built on Ramsey principles we use on the show. Whether you're making a decision or just want something explained, Ask Ramsey is here to help. It's fast, simple, and free to use. Go to RamseySolutions.com and try Ask Ramsey today. That's RamseySolutions.com.

1:56:54Dr. John Delony:Our scripture of the day, Philippians 4.19, My God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus. Our friend Art Laffer says, I never heard of a poor person spending himself into prosperity, let alone I've never heard of a poor person taxing himself into prosperity. There we go. Christopher is with us in Seattle. Hi, Christopher. How are you? I'm doing good. How are you guys doing? Better than we deserve. What's up? Hey, so my wife and I, our total household income is$201 ,000. And I am going to be running for a representative position in my district. And it does come with a$34 ,000 pay cut since I would be quitting my job, my current career.

1:57:45And so financially, I know that we can do it. We're nearing the end of baby step three. And my wife agrees that I should get involved locally in our political realm here. And I'm just struggling with the mindset of the fact that we are losing$34 ,000. And it feels like I'm in a way letting down myself and my family. So I'm just trying to figure out how to cope with that. Are you running for a representative seat because you want to see change and you want to be that change and you want to get involved in your local community? Absolutely. Or are you doing this just because you hate working? No, I absolutely love my job, but I do want to be a part of the change and to help motivate others and let everybody know that it takes all of us to create this change.

1:58:50Dr. John Delony:Let me ask you, I'm sorry, you're a representative of what level? The state level? Yes. Okay. Most state representatives have a full-time job. Oh, I was unaware of that. almost everyone if all the ones i know personally have full-time jobs i i don't they don't make much money and they have to now i don't know if that's true in the state of washington or not yeah but um you might want to investigate that i'm not sure that a state representative is a full-time job okay i could definitely do that research then i'm not sure i mean i know in our state, I know most of the representatives and a lot of them in our state, and I know a whole bunch of them in our immediate area, certainly, and all of them have jobs.

1:59:39Dr. John Delony:They have to because they don't make much at the state level. Christopher, you said, does your wife make$170 ,000 and you make$35 ,000? No, I make$101 ,000 and she makes$100 ,000 pretty much. Okay, so each of you make about$100 ,000, but you're going to drop down to$65 ,000 if you take this role. Yes. Okay. All right. So I like the idea of bringing back, just call me old-fashioned, public service being a service. It's when I'm going to, at net loss to myself, I'm going to be in service to my community. And you've got your wife's support and backing. I mean, I think it's— You have$165 ,000 household income.

2:00:21Yeah, nobody's starving.

2:00:22Dr. John Delony:I think this is a noble thing. It's a choice you made. Yeah. And nobody thrust it upon you. You don't have to do it. So there's no reason to have to cope with it emotionally. If you got demoted and you went from$100 to$65 ,000, you might have to emotionally cope with that loss. Or if your wife was a stay-at-home wife with three kids and this was going to put you all where you all couldn't pay your bills, then you'd have a hard decision to make. If you have$165 ,000 income net-net, I don't know that there's anything to cope with. I would spend zero seconds coping and all of my energy on being the best public servant I could be.

2:01:00Dr. John Delony:And figuring out if this really is a full-time job. Yeah. That's the other thing. And I don't know what that means to your current career and those sorts of things. Let me say it this way. If your identity is in a number you bring home versus value you provide to other people and in your relationships, you have an issue whether you're – like you already have that issue. If your identity is I make as much money as my wife or I make this many dollars, I make this magic number called six figures, and somehow that makes me better or able to like myself more, you're going to have bigger issues across the board, brother.

2:01:34Dr. John Delony:Yeah. Yeah, that's true. Yeah. But I don't think that's what's going on. It was more like – because he's really reaching to do something here. Something awesome, yeah. Yeah. That's a noble call. Yeah, but if it clashes with this idea that I also have to make this much money or I'm not a good husband or a good man, I think that's lean into the service, man. That's fair. Josh is in Nashville. Hey, Josh, how are you? Hey, Dave, I'm doing great. How are you doing? Better than I deserve. What's up? Yeah, I was hoping you'd say that. Yeah, hey, I recently moved to the Nashville area. I'm from Southern California, like so many people here that I've met.

2:02:13And yeah, right when I moved here, I was sort of caught off guard by my business partner saying, hey, we should sell the business. And so something I wasn't really prepared for mentally or financially. So that's something I'm kind of working through right now. In addition to that, I'm also in the process of selling a bunch of our real estate. So most of our wealth right now is in real estate just to free up more cash. And I'm not sure I can do this, but I'm trying to understand if I can create the option to be work optional based on our assets. So just calling to see.

2:02:50Dr. John Delony:So what will you get out of all the real estate and out of the sale of the business? What's the big number? Yeah, so the business should net me about 1.5, and then the real estate another two. And then I have about 500. So 3.5 million. Mm-hmm. And then I have about$500 in a taxable brokerage. And then one other potential source of liquidity could be our house. We have about a$2.3 million house with a$700 ,000 note on it. So we could go downsize there as well. Or you could just pay off the note, either one. All right, so you've got like$3 million to work with, give or take, depending on what we do with the house and the note, all right, or$4 million.

2:03:30Dr. John Delony:You know, so, you know, if you invest that in good growth stock mutual funds, the S &P 500 has averaged 11.8 % since it began. That's the stock market average, in other words. And so if you pulled off 10 % off of$4 million, you'd have$400 ,000. If you pulled off 8%, you know, you'd have$320 ,000. What do you need to live? Yeah, yeah. Right now, not a whole lot. Maybe about$10 ,000, not quite$10 ,000, maybe$8 ,000 a month. Okay. So$120 ,000 a year, which is like your money's still growing if it's invested in mutual funds and doing nothing but sitting there. That's if you don't do anything else with business and you don't do anything else with real estate.

2:04:16Dr. John Delony:Yeah. How old are you? Part of my question, I'm 44. Yeah. Well, you're going to need to do something. Yeah, no, I understand that. It's not fun. Life's not fun. I mean, you're not going to have fun if you want to do something. You've been doing things your whole life. Now, do you have to be stressed out and desperate? No. But, I mean, you're an entrepreneur. You've grown businesses. You've built wealth. It's going to take you about 13 seconds to be bored. I appreciate you saying that. Yeah, one of the things that's kind of playing around in my head is am I employable? Like, what could that look like to get a job?

2:04:50I haven't had a job since I was 24.

2:04:52Dr. John Delony:I wouldn't. Or 23. Last thing I would do. You know, I would just do consulting work for somebody. If you show somebody how to do what you know how to do, or I'd go build a business of some kind, buy some business, start a business, or I'd buy some other real estate. But you need to put your hand to something. You know, otherwise you're just going to get fat and go fishing. And that's not a good plan. And so you're not going to be, you're not going to like yourself. So I just, you've been doing too much. Now, again, you don't have to do 70 hours a week, 80 hours a week. But you don't need to be a Walmart greeter, dude.

2:05:28Dr. John Delony:I mean, that's not the stage. That's not who you are. And so don't do that. Don't set yourself up for that. But yeah, that's fine. Yes, you are work optional in terms of the actual arithmetic, but not your spirit. Spirit is not work optional. I don't find retirement in the Bible. No, I often tell folks who are older than you by a decade or two who are retiring, who are looking for, I don't know what to do next. Go spend two or three months at a local charity just showing up every day and serving people. And if you have the entrepreneurial mind now that you've had for the last 15, 20 years, you will spin up 15 ,000 ideas on people you can help and people you can love and businesses that will work to support those folks.

2:06:13And so that's what I would do. Yep. There's all kinds of things you can do.

2:06:16Dr. John Delony:But you got to have a purpose. A business that wins is always serving. Always. That puts us our other Ramsey show in the books. We'll be back with you before you know it. In the meantime, remember, there's ultimately only one way to financial peace, and that's to walk daily with the Prince of Peace, Christ Jesus.