Your Agony Aunts Are Back!

0:00This episode is powered by British Gas, with Peak Save helping you get more out of Sundays. With Peak Save, electricity is half-price every Sunday from 11am to 4pm. Perfect for putting the kettle on, watching the football and running bigger energy appliances, like your washing machine or dishwasher, while you relax. Same Sunday routine, same plans, you are just making the most of half-price electricity for the things that use the most energy. And with 5 hours of cheaper electricity every Sunday, the savings start to add up. Plus, British Gas now have a new exclusive BWSL fixed tariff for fans, players or anyone who's part of a club, guaranteed to be cheaper than the January price cap.

0:36So Peak Save looks after your Sundays and the BWSL tariff looks after the rest of the year. British Gas backing the BWSL on the pitch and supporting fans off it as well. Search British Gas Peak Save to find out more. Terms and eligibility apply. Peak Save requires a smart meter and normal standing charges apply. Somewhere out there is a Chevy truck. And the person who drives it, well, that's a Chevy person. You probably know one. Your buddy. Your sister. Ones who always show up. They're the first to rise, the last to leave. They always have that little extra something. And maybe you've got it too.

1:13Chevrolet. Together let's drive. Visit chevy.com slash trucks to explore the lineup.

1:22They say you should learn something new every day. Like how you should only drink Jägermeister at zero degrees Fahrenheit. Ice cold. Like those frozen cavemen they find. Which makes you wonder, what would a caveman think of Jägermeister? Well, if you served it warm, he'd probably throw it in your face, say, Oonga Boonga, and storm off. And nobody wants that. So drink it cold or not at all. Jägermeister. Damn, that's cold. Drink responsibly. Jägermeister liqueur. 35 % alcohol by volume. Imported by Masked Jägermeister, US, White Plains, New York.

2:00Hello, everyone, and welcome to Daily Brightness. This episode is normally a Q &A, but this time we've got a little special edition, and we are doing agony ants. We all enjoyed them last time. Our favorite, Rach, kick us off. Okay, so the first one is a wedding dilemma, and it says, hey girls, love the pod. Thank you very much. Appreciate it. I'm getting married next year. I've always been a people pleaser, but my dad has consistently let me down and caused hurt. My siblings feel the same, but haven't cut contact. I have, and he's made minimal efforts since. Over a year, and he hasn't asked about my children.

2:34Am I doing the right thing, not inviting him to my wedding? I feel guilty, but I honestly can't stand him anymore. He's never cared. I'm going to say your wedding is your wedding. Nobody else's. So you need to do what's right for you. But what I will say is if you do think you're going to regret it, you really need to sit and think hard about it. But it's your day and ultimately you choose what you want to do. Yeah, I'd 100 % agree with Rach. And you don't want to regret it in either way. You don't want to regret not having him there, but you don't want to regret having him there and then it being ruined or you feeling a type of way.

3:09And like Rach said, what I will say is this is literally yours and your partner's day. So nothing should interfere. It doesn't matter whether they're blood related or not. Nothing should interfere. You dictate every decision, who's there. And if you have the slightest concern that there's going to be drama for it or it's going to ruin your day, then I think you've already got your answer. But there's no right or wrong. I think that's important to state as well. I think, like I said, it's yours and your partner's day. So yeah, we can advise. But ultimately, I think you have to make your decision for you and your partner.

3:42Yeah. Think of the scenarios. Think of him been there and think of him not been there and which one probably affects you the most. And if you're getting too anxious about him been there or not been there, I think that is your answer. Yeah, your answer is kind of there. But I hope you come to a decision and I hope I wish you all the best for your wedding. I hope you have a lovely day. Next. I need advice. I'm a single mom. I was out with my best friend of 10 years and her boyfriend was being flirty with me. I told her next day and she accused me of being jealous, but I'm single, saying I crave her boyfriend's attention.

4:17I'm a lesbian, so I have no interest in him. I don't want to fall out over this. What would you do? If you told me that Sarah was flirting with you, I wouldn't be like, you're just jealous, Millie. I'd have to dive deeper into it. If they're into the opposite sex. Exactly. That's what I mean, it's a perfect example. Yeah, we would probably laugh and joke about it. You're a straight girl and you told me that Sarah was flirting with you. I'd be like, wait a minute. What? For you to tell me that, I'd be like, that's weird. Something's going on. Yeah. If she's going to fall out of you over that, then block and delete me.

4:53Then I think she probably already has concerns, if I'm honest. I think there's already things happening. If that is immediately defensive to you with the context of the situation in terms of you're not into guys and you're a best friend of 10 years and the fact that you've gone to her with this, you could have just left it. And luckily, she should see it as luckily he's flirting with you and not someone that's never going to tell you. But equally, yeah, what I don't like about this is the best friend is blaming her. Like, you need to look a little bit closer to her. He's flirting with her. Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

5:26It's like the defence, but that's what makes me then think, hmm, there's the other red flags within the situation and she's just attacked the first thing at the first opportunity. I don't know, yeah. I mean like you said I would never expect you to come at me if I did come to you and say bestie bestie's been flirting with me which she does of course she does I'd be like first of all I think I'd be like okay what do you mean I'd need a bit of context I'd need some examples or like what yeah what is it and then I'd be questioning my partner and been like listen like it's not a big deal but what the hell like what's going off is it a misunderstanding I think I'd be more likely to question my partner than I would be questioning my best friend yeah and I wouldn't be getting defensive going you're an attention see especially if they're single and do you know what I mean they could go and be with anyone or whatever I think the response is a little bit concerning if I'm honest but it then makes me think there's other situations maybe going on between them that you don't know about and maybe she's just lashed out and is struggling so I'd maybe try and check in again and just like is everything all right and also it depends on the way you've said it if you've got like your boyfriend flirting with me yeah like if you just sat down maybe I don't know I don't know I can't judge I don't know what the situation is on how have a conversation that's what i will say have a conversation 10 years of friendship is too long to throw away so i think and especially over like a bit of flirting like i'd have a conversation yeah i agree and i'm sure you can get to the bottom a bit so i hope you get it sorted but yeah next one bestie this one's really making me laugh my friend borrowed my england shirt for a festival spilled orange juice on it and it's permanently stained do i say something or do i let it go i mean if it's me i'm gonna go let it go it's material what what's the saying like life's too short to stuff a mushroom like to cry over spilled milk like you're literally gonna cry over spilled orange juice yeah but i wouldn't be i wouldn't be losing sleep over that to be honest it made me giggle and to be honest every time i put it on i'd be like way that was when you was at the festival there's probably a funny story attached to it also a short orange juice must come out do you know what's brilliant for stains give me a little tip here marcella water gets off waterproof mascara gets anything out of tops but yeah don't lose sleep over that please there's bigger problems in the world and yeah just let it go just let it go now this is an interesting one i'm always the one to message or organize things if i don't make contact i don't hear from anyone i've stopped reaching out first and now i feel really lonely I'm nearly 30 with no close friendships how do I build new ones as a homeowner with two dogs it's getting me down aw that's really sad but what I would say is you're not alone because you've got two dogs and they are the best company in the world so and they will never let you down ever and you've got two dogs that's two ways to the best life so let's address let's address the first part of the the first part winds me up because I feel like that is quite common and I've had that I feel like I'm a bit like that I told you when people don't reply in groups.

8:24Yeah. Back to my point. But the first part is I think you've done the right thing stopping reaching out because then you know where you stand and then you don't have to waste any more time on people that aren't going to make you a priority in their life. Whether it's a friendship or a relationship or family or whatever, if they're people you care about, you should always be a priority. And I've always said this, it takes two seconds to send a text and you should want to see your people. That's what I mean. and I agree with that because I feel like sometimes like in my life I have been the person that reaches yeah and like I'm quite forthcoming with that and I find that quite hard as well sometimes when I'm like well actually when did you last ring me or when did you even hang out if you didn't exactly or would you yeah why do I always have to ring first why do I always have to text first and I know there's sometimes like different scenarios that play into that but it's not a nice feeling I will agree no not at all what I would say is get yourself down to pub walk your dogs to the pub find like a local community you know there's groups and stuff on facebook like you know also listen to our podcast we're here you've always got a friend knows but what i will say with the friends one just flipping it have you questioned them on it have you had a conversation and been like listen guys i'm feeling like this is really bothering me because sometimes we make decisions and we react without actually having a conversation and give give them the benefit of the doubt have a conversation be like this is affecting me this is bothering me like they might have an explanation i mean for me i'm very quick to block and delete so toxic trait i will i ain't got time for it if you if you don't want to make effort then cool no worries bye but have a conversation first see if there's an explanation see if there's a change if not then cool there's a world full of people that would love to be your friend like rachel get your dogs go down to a calf dog walking is the best way to meet people it's the best you end up having conversations everywhere and anywhere and get yourself down to a local pub go in a pub quiz or yeah honestly I think just don't be afraid and it doesn't matter like how old you are or whatever like just step out of your comfort zone a little bit and be brave enough to do it there's so many people that would love to be a friend alongside me and Rachel we're always here Taylor Brightness is here for everyone for each right we're going to take a quick break and then we'll come back and do a few more of these agony ants we are loving them so far So good, so good, so good.

10:48Spring styles are at Nordstrom Rack stores now, and they're up to 60 % off. Stock up and save on Rag & Bone, Madewell, Vince, All Saints, and more of your favorites. How did I not know Rack has Adidas? Why do we rack? For the hottest deals. There's so many good brands. Join the Nordic Club to unlock exclusive discounts, shop new arrivals first, and more. Plus, buy online and pick up at your favorite Rack store for free. Great brands, great prices. That's why you rack. Score more with the college-branded Venmo Debit Card and earn up to 5 % cash back with Venmo Stash. Got paid back? With the Venmo Debit Card, you can instantly access your balance and spend on what you want, like game day snacks, gear, tickets, and more.

11:29The more you do, the more cash back you can earn. Plus, there's no monthly fee or minimum balance. Sign up now at Venmo.com slash college card. The Venmo MasterCard is issued by the Bancorp Bank NA. Select schools available. Venmo Stash terms and exclusions apply at Venmo.me slash stashterms. max$100 cash back per month. Protein is now at Starbucks and it's never tasted so good. You can add protein cold foam to your favorite drink or try one of our new protein lattes or matcha. Try it today at Starbucks.

12:03Welcome back, guys. We are going to do a few more agony aunts and we're going to start one. That is a girlfriend who parties often. I'm seeing a girl who goes out a lot We don't see each other much due to work. She's 30. Surely she's over the partying days. Do I continue and just deal with it or say something? I don't like that line. I don't like that line. She's 30. Surely she's over partying. Why does there have to be a limit on when you start partying? Let me tell you, we're going to be 80 and me and Rachel are still going to be partying together. I think that line is the one that's like a bit of a hiccup for me.

12:40But the first part is they don't see each other much due to work. So to me, it sounds like she's not prioritizing the relationship. So party all you want, in my eyes. If you want to go and party, that's your life. You do that. You still need your own life. But what is the work? And then you've got party. But where do you meet for the relationship? But we need to know the work hours. Are you on night shifts? Are you in night shifts from the week? Well, it just says we don't see much each other due to work. So that to me means they've probably got the same work patterns, regardless, whatever it is.

13:09but then I just think I think there's a couple things they need to figure out you can't say somebody's too old to party 30's never too old to be partying hell no ain't nobody telling me when I'm stopping partying I do think you should have a conversation and say where do I fit into your world yeah and then work out if you actually can fit into each other's world because if you're working a lot and you're partying a lot you know you've got to get work life balance work life party party hard love harder you know but you've got to respect what people need to do in their own time if that person's got a really stressful job and then going out with the mates is something that prepares them for the next week.

13:41And maybe that's not the one for you. Yeah, you can't really tell someone to stop doing what they enjoy just to be in a relationship. I think it's balance. Everything is balance. But the question they've asked is, do I continue and just deal with it or say something? No, don't deal with it. Have the conversation. Communication is key in every walk of life. Sit down, have a chat. Also, why don't you just get a little bottle of wine if they like partying and then just be like, listen, I want to do a little dinner, bottle of wine. I'm going to bring the party back to my place. Moving on. 25-year age gap crush.

14:12I have a massive crush on someone, but the age difference is 25 years. Should I go for it or not? To me, it's not a problem, right? I think that gap isn't too horrific for me. But it depends how old the people are, I think. Because I think once you get over 30, those age gaps, they don't make... Agreed. 30 to 55 to me is like... I mean, I could meet someone that's 55. I'm like, no way. You look like 40. Yeah. Or, you know, but if you're like 18 and that person's 43, I'm not here for that. I'm fully with you on that. But what I will say is without us knowing that, it's very hard to make. Answer and give an honest.

14:52To give you advice on it. But what I will say is if you want to go for it, like don't wait for the opinions of others. Guess what? There are going to be opinions left, right and center, regardless of what you do. And no one in this world can tell you who to love. If you love someone, go for it. don't don't ever so and you know what go for it go on a couple days see how you feel and then if it don't work out it don't work out no one says you have to go and marry that person and be gluten for the rest of your life like just yeah i think the age of the two people is very important i personally wouldn't probably be attracted to somebody 25 years older than me but that's me that's not me saying you should and it depends what stage you're at in life as well if you came to me if you came to me and you said to me you're 32 and you said to me you've met to someone that's 57 my first thought would be how and like i'd ask the question who what where when yeah but then i'd be like do you love them yeah okay sound do it yeah no one can really answer that for you you've got to answer it for yourself but just go for it and see how you're feeling and if you don't if you're not feeling it then cool have a conversation you go your separate ways but i think if you go through live wanting other people to make decisions on your relationships or friendships i think then you're always going to be unhappy it has to be your decision you have to be happy yeah go for it go for it girl actually go for it boy don't know whoever you are um okay last one i coach my six-year-old daughter's football team she's ace a brilliant reader of the game and the queen of assists but she doesn't see it she thinks because she isn't scoring all the goals she's not any good now she wants to quit has there ever been a time you question your own ability and what advice got you over that hurdle my ability was always questioned always but what i will say to her is it's not always about the goals and millie can give you all that advice listen football there's more to football than scoring goals there's assist there's defending goal line tackles there's last ditch defending there's amazing saves that get made and i think just zoom out from the position and zoom into the impact that you have on your team and your teammates i do also think it's quite hard as a six-year-old isn't it to see that but yeah i think just remind them of having fun that's the most important thing and just little reminders that oh my god you did that brilliant pasta and I also think that comes from the coaches that you're the environment that you're in and if like because obviously when you're a kid you want to score you want to be the superhero you want to kind of do all that amazing thing but I think it's up to like parents and coaches to remind people of I don't know let's just say Sophia might be player of the match but actually Harriet you did an amazing tackle like you did a brilliant block that's what made the team win like remind the team and the kids of like other moments not just the superstar moments of scoring balls because at that age as well it's not about individual brilliance it's all about your kids getting along and the girls getting along with each other and having a good time so keep doing those reminders and yeah tell them to listen to our podcast we'll give them advice yeah keep going right guys that is it for the Agony Hands we absolutely loved it keep sending them in and there'll be more episodes like this coming your way speak soon love that limited edition episode.

17:53Bye-bye.

18:01Monster Energy. Everybody knows White Monster, Zero Ultra. That's the OG. It kicked off this whole zero sugar energy drink thing. But Ultra is a whole line up now. You've got Strawberry Dreams, Blue Hawaiian, Sunrise, and Vice Guava. And they all bring the Monster Energy punch. So if you've been living in the white can, branch out ultra's got a flavor for every vibe and every single one is zero sugar tap the banner to learn more two teams one cup the primetime stage is set for the tgl presented by sofi finals los angeles golf club versus tigers jupiter links keep up it's playoffs tune in monday march 23rd 9 p.m eastern on espn 2 and tuesday march 24th 7 p.m eastern on espn and on the espn app thought sweet green was just salads?

18:52Think again. There's a new way to do sweet green. Wrapped and ready. These handheld wraps pack bold flavor and 40 plus grams of protein into something hearty, satisfying, and built for life on the go. From craveable sauces to satisfying textures, they're designed to keep you going without slowing you down. So put that fork down. Try the new wraps today in app or at order.sweetgreen.com. Available at participating locations only.