705. Queen Victoria’s Revenge: The Mad Emperor of Abyssinia (Part 1)

19:43Dominic Sandbrook:He really struggles to comprehend that. And that makes him wonder whether the British are quite as devoted to Christianity as they should be. Anyway, a year later, end of 1856, he has the highest ranking visitor he will ever receive. And this is the Coptic patriarch Cyril IV, who is the sort of spiritual father of the Ethiopian church. And he comes to visit from Alexandria. And Cyril turns up and he is very, very down on Abyssinian religious practice. Cyril says, look, you have far too many holidays, holy days. You have far too many saints and they're all wrong. Your calendar is bonkers, all of this.

20:19Dominic Sandbrook:And Teodros, he completely conforms to Plowden's picture of him because Plowden said he was very hot-tempered and proud. He goes ballistic at this. He locks up the patriarch for a little while. And the rumors sweep Abyssinia. Well, Teodros has fallen under the sway of the English. Maybe he's going to convert to Protestantism. And he doesn't. Eventually, he releases this patriarch and he kneels to ask his forgiveness. And he says, I'm sorry, I locked you up. And Cyril says, the problem of the years you've been listening to English visitors. don't trust the English. They're only pretending to be your friends.

20:52Dominic Sandbrook:They are plotting, and I quote, to undermine your power and conquer your country. Which they're not, to be fair to the English. No, which they're not, which they're absolutely not. But this is a thread that will run through this story. I think because the Abyssinians have been so isolated for so long, they have got it into their heads that their neighbours are all plotting to sell them out or undermine them or conquer them or whatever. I suppose, to be fair to him, I mean, the British do have a certain track record in. They do. Well, I mean, at this point, if you listen to the French, they do.

21:22Dominic Sandbrook:But Teodros is actually still quite devoted to the British. He still craves their approval. He recognises that they're the most powerful, the richest, the most modern country on earth. And so when the patriarch leaves, he takes with him two letters. And one of them was dictated by Teodros himself. And this was a letter dictated to Queen Victoria. May this letter sent by the King of Kings, Teodros of Ethiopia, reach the Queen of England victoria how are you are you well i am well thank god i've received your envoy with love and friendship now you are the child of christ and i am the child of christ for the love of christ i want friendship so that's nice that's a great letter it's a fantastic letter how are you are you well i'm well i love it i think he's my favorite abyssinian king it's basically like a cold call from a call center isn't it how are you how's your day going no it's not it's like a pen pal yes that's what it's like so um the other letter is from plowden to the foreign office and plowden says i think we should cement the relationship with abyssinia could you please send teodros some guns and ammunition and a handsome piece for his own use like a hunting rifle this is in 1857 and two years go by and plowden and teodros hear nothing back and then at last plowden gets a message from the coast london have sent him a package what is it there's a rifle a screwdriver and a case i'm not sure it's unclear whether the case is for the rifle or the screwdriver it's for the screwdriver and that is it and his and his heart sinks because he knows this won't go down well with your dross not even a letter and the truth is of course the foreign office don't really care abyssinia is like a massive backwater no one really cares about it it's also they've had the indian mutiny raging haven't they so they've had other things on their mind they've got other things on their mind anyway time goes by Teotros gets on with fighting the kind of regional warlords and trying to unite the kingdom but it's much bloodier and more grueling than he expected he stamps out one rebellion another breaks out in the next door province and at one point he says to Plowden I have deceived myself this is a stiff-necked people and it is necessary to chastise them before they enjoy the blessings which providence has intended he speaks always in this very kind of rolling biblical cadences and then in 1858 a key moment i think his wife who was always a moderating influence on him it was called tewabak she died in her late 20s and he was absolutely bereft he married again for political reasons he married a woman called tyrannish i say a woman she was 12 and they didn't really get on whenever teodros went to her tent he would find her reading the psalms and she would just say to him very coldly curtly, I'm conversing with a greater king than you.

24:11Dominic Sandbrook:Get out. He clearly finds this distressing because he starts drinking very heavily at around this point. He starts sleeping with random women in the camp. And he confesses to visiting European missionaries. He says, I'm leading a very unchristian and disreputable life. And he feels bad about it. So there's that. Now, the second key moment is in 1860, two years later. Plowden, his friend, is traveling across Abyssinia when his party is ambushed by rebels ploughed and is wounded with a spear and he dies nine days later so that's the end of him he had a he had an exciting time but it ended prematurely but i guess it's the way he would have wanted to go it is exactly absolutely it is so the british now need to appoint a new representative on the red sea coast again it's not a priority for them so it takes them two years to finally send somebody out and during that time teodros's mental state declines from bad to worse.

25:05Dominic Sandbrook:So missionaries who are writing back say he's increasingly vengeful and angry. He's like a man on the verge of a titanic explosion. And part of this is obviously, you know, contextual. Abyssinia is a very violent place. There are constant uprisings. There's also, I think, a slight degree of paranoia. He's terrified that the British are conspiring, as we said, with the Ottomans and with the Egyptians. He's obsessed with the idea that people in his entourage are plotting against him. So he will regularly hold purges of his senior officers and he would cut off their hands and feet or sometimes just one hand and one foot and then he'd throw them outside to be devoured by hyenas.

25:43Dominic Sandbrook:That's a horrible fate. So there's that. We already encountered him saying to Plowden, you know, the people of Abyssinia are rather letting me down. And he really comes to believe this. When he goes into rebel provinces, he's increasingly merciless. He calls himself the flail of the wicked And he likes to quote one of the Psalms, the righteous shall rejoice when he seeth the vengeance, he shall wash his feet in the blood of the wicked. Washing his feet in the blood of the wicked is very much what Theodras is about by the 1860s. And in order to do this, he's become particularly obsessed with guns.

26:18Dominic Sandbrook:No one in history, not even the people who go to your brother and Alma's festival, their World War II festival, all not even those people are as interested in artillery as this guy he loves guns he has turned to a group of swiss and german missionaries who had settled in a place called gefat in northern abyssinia and he had allowed these missionaries in because they had presented themselves as craftsmen they said oh we'd like to teach you know interesting transferable skills to the abyssinian people and they'd built huts and a water wheel and the school and all this kind of thing i mean that's missionary kind of activity isn't it yeah missionaries are always building

26:58Tom Holland:water wheels they love that kind of thing but building artillery is is is less of a missionary

27:03Dominic Sandbrook:activity i would guess exactly he loves this one bloke who's swiss called theophilus waldmeier who apparently is very good at mending muskets very good with his hands and he's always on to this guy waldmeier can you not build me a massive cannon and over time he says to these uh sort of german-speaking swiss missionaries could you please build me bigger and bigger guns and he gets them to build blast furnaces and things this is the conditions of them staying in his country and the blast furnaces keep exploding or because actually ultimately they're not they're not gunsmiths they're missionaries no it's a big ask if you've never done it before deodoros is very impatient and he says to them if you say i want you to build me bigger guns And I quote, if you say you don't know how, I shall regard you as liars, and you know what I do with those who deceive me.

27:51Dominic Sandbrook:Oh, dear. So that is ominous for these men of God. And it's against this background that the British finally appoint their new envoy. And he is a man called Captain Charles Duncan Cameron, and he rides into Teodros' camp in October 1862. And Cameron is a career soldier. He'd served in South Africa and indeed in the Crimea before coming to Massawa on the Red Sea coast. And when he arrives, he has a present for Teodros. It's two dueling pistols with a silver inscription. Presented to Theodore, Emperor of Abyssinia, by Victoria, Queen of Great Britain and Ireland, for his kindness to her servant Plowden.

28:30Dominic Sandbrook:Now, these pistols are important. We will come back to them later. They will have an ironic function. it's great to have some dueling pistols back on the show after alexander hamilton exactly so um cameron he's the new guy career soldier he is not as pro abyssinia as plowden he's sort of stiff he's a bit inflexible he's shocked by teodros's bloodthirstiness when teodros goes into his rants about launching a holy war against the egyptians this guy captain cameron just sort of frowns and looks a bit pained because he knows this is bonkers. Had Plowden kind of said, yeah, that's great, Your Majesty.

29:08Dominic Sandbrook:Exactly. Plowden had been like planning the pageantry or something with apt biblical quotes. Exactly. And so now we get to a key moment in the story. Towards the end of 1862, Cameron leaves the camp to go back to the Red Sea coast. And Teodros gives him a letter. And the letter reads as follows. In the name of the Father, of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost, one God in Trinity, chosen by God, King of Kings, Teodros of Ethiopia, to Her Majesty Victoria, Queen of England. Mr. Plowden used to tell me that there was a great Christian queen who loves all Christians. I was prevented by the Turks occupying the seacoast from sending you an embassy when I was in difficulty.

29:44Dominic Sandbrook:Consul Cameron arrived with a letter and presence of friendship. By the power of God, I was very glad. I have received your presence and I thank you much. Now, I wish that you may arrange for the safe passage of my ambassadors everywhere on the road i wish to have an answer to this letter by consul cameron and that he may conduct my embassy to england see how islam oppresses the christians this is the letter cameron goes off with the letter and weeks go by and then months go by and cameron finally returns in june 1863 so this is about six months later and teodros says has your your mistress the queen of england gosh has she written me a reply and Cameron says unfortunately I've heard nothing I've had nothing from London but your majesty I will give my head if after two months the answer to your letter is not here and then Cameron vanishes again and Teodros hears rumors that Cameron has gone back to the coast and he's actually in Sudanese territory he's talking to the Sudanese now he is because the foreign office have been asking him to investigate the local slave trade which they're keen to stamp out but Teodros thinks this bloke he didn't he didn't seem very comfortable anyway he was always shifty he hasn't brought me the answer to the letter i wonder if he's gone out there to sell me out to the muslims i knew the british would sell me out this is what he's thinking so more months go by and all the time teodros's paranoia is building he cannot understand why queen victoria has not replied to his letter at best it shows she doesn't care about him at worst it's a sign that she is actually plotting with his muslim enemies and then in october his impatience and distrust finally boil over and he completely loses it and the man who provokes him is a missionary called henry aaron stern who was german born in hamburg and he'd been sent to abyssinia by a group called the london society of promoting christianity among the jews so they specialized in sending people to the Holy Land, to Ottoman-occupied Palestine, to try to convert people.

31:50Dominic Sandbrook:And they'd started sending people to Abyssinia as well. And Stern has been in Abyssinia since 1860, and he absolutely hated it. He's published a book called Wanderings Among the Falashers, which is very caustic about Abyssinia. He said of the people of Abyssinia, they were a false, treacherous, and insolent race, absurdly superstitious in their religious belief, and revoltingly obscene in their domestic relations.

32:17Tom Holland:Can I ask, has he got an Abyssinian publishing deal? Presumably this hasn't been translated into...

32:24Dominic Sandbrook:I don't think it's been translated, but somehow news of it has reached Teodros. This guy hates you, hates your people, and has written disobliging things about you in the British press. Anyway, Stern doesn't like Abyssinian. He's planning to go home, and he's on his way home, when by an unbelievably unfortunate coincidence, he basically runs into Teodros' army. And some of them have been drinking. There's an altercation with him. And Stern ends up being arrested and beaten up. And he's dragged to Teodros' tent. And then he's thrown into a tent and manacled by his hands and his feet. And he lies there for weeks.

33:04Dominic Sandbrook:And he's convinced that he is going to be killed. And basically, the only thing that keeps him going is his Christian faith. and then five weeks later stern is dragged into this huge assembly of teodros's troops and the emperor is sitting there on his throne and before the emperor's throne is stern's closest colleague who's another missionary called henry rosenthal and he is also in chains and stern thinks oh no and a scribe reads out the charges against them stern is accused of mocking teodros's counselors of undermining Ethiopian Christianity, of slandering the emperor as a war criminal, and I quote, worst of all, ridiculing the emperor's genealogy.

33:46Dominic Sandbrook:He's definitely saying that he's descended from Solomon, is he? He is, he is, absolutely. Actually, there's a hilarious moment at this camp. When they mention the genealogy thing, Teodros says to this guy, Stern, you doubt that I'm descended from Solomon. Here are the priests. They will recite my genealogy. and the priests start to recite the genealogy and they do quite well at first but apparently when they got to about the 15th or 16th century they started to falter and to stutter and then they started to argue among themselves and Teodros went absolutely berserk and said next time I tell you this you will know you will know my family tree anyway so this is Stern and then Rosenthal was accused of having written that the country would be better off under Egyptian rule and Teotroth says to the two of them, you Europeans came into this country and I loved, honored and respected you, but you are liars.

34:40Dominic Sandbrook:And then they read the verdict. They're sentenced to death and they're dragged back to their tents. But then nothing happens. Days pass and the sentence isn't carried out. They're sometimes dragged out of the tents and forced to watch the sort of bloody execution of Abyssinian rebels and peasants. But the blade never falls on them. and in fact their guards say to them after a few weeks the emperor has relented he's probably going to release you like he's going to forget all about it and then on the 3rd of january 1864 they're brought before the emperor once again and they're dragged before teodros's throne and they see to their relief around the throne the british consul captain cameron and a load of other missionaries and stern thinks to himself thank god for that you know they've come and interceded for us we are free at last and then his neck in his next thought he notices the shackles on cameron's legs and one of the other missionaries looks at him and he whispers we are all prisoners now and it's that's the point when stern realizes that their nightmare and this whole bonkers story are only just beginning and we will find out what happens after a break

35:58Tom Holland:This episode is supported by Anthropic, the team behind Claude. Now, history's biggest leaps, many of them started as hard questions that people didn't want asked.

36:12Dominic Sandbrook:Yeah, there's a classic example of that, Tom, at the end of the 15th century. And the hard question in particular was, what is out there beyond the Atlantic Ocean to the West? And as you will know, the man who found the answer to that question was the explorer Christopher Columbus. great pioneering voyage of discovery. And it is, of course, the Americas. So, you know, Anthropic knows the importance of questions. And it's why Anthropic is founded on one hard question above all. How can we ensure that the AI revolution really goes well for ordinary people?

36:42Tom Holland:Anthropic asked 100 ,000 people. And what came back wasn't just fear. There was hope as well. People wanted to know, will cancer ever be cured? Can kids have a better future? It turns out that there is hope in hard questions.

36:59Dominic Sandbrook:Ask yours at claude.ai slash rest is history. And keep thinking.

37:07Tom Holland:Evening. Buyer's remorse. Buy a new car? I'll be moving in. Let's get started. Sorry, I think there's been a mistake. I bought it from Carvana. You what? Yeah, great price. I even have seven days to love it or return it. So there's no... No, no buyer's remorse. More like buyers rejoice? I guess I'll let myself out. Congratulations. I mean it. Buyers rejoice. Buy your car today on Carvana. Limitations and exclusions may apply. See our seven-day return policy at Carvana.com. Star Wars The Mandalorian and Grogu is now streaming on Disney+. What are you waiting for? Hop on. The must-see galactic adventure comes home on Disney+.

37:47Tom Holland:This is the way. Our only chance is to work together. I like this kid. Always wear your seatbelt. Star Wars The Mandalorian and Grogu. Now streaming on Disney+. Read PG-13.

38:11Tom Holland:Welcome back to The Rest is History. It's May 1864, and we are in London, beating heart of a mighty empire, a city of railways and telegraphs and smoke the crucible of modernity absolutely tremendous days and Dominic in Whitehall the foreign secretary Lord Russell is studying a scribbled pencil note which has been smuggled to the Red Sea coast and then carried by ship to London and it reads myself stern rosenthal cairns bardell macravey and mckilvie are all chained here flad steger brandis and cornelius sent to gafat to work for the king no release until civil answer to king's letter arrives and it's signed cdc charles duncan cameron and lord russell the foreign secretary asked his officials oh my god are there any letters from the king of abyssinia that we have neglected to answer and what's the answer dominic well they go digging into their

39:17Dominic Sandbrook:files and guess what there is this is theodros's original letter that he had sent with cameron and what did happen to this letter it's an interesting story actually a revealing story to have gone across the red sea to aiden and then went from aiden to bombay and then it went back across the indian ocean to suez and then it went across the desert to alexandria and by ship from Alexandria to Marseille, and then by train to the Channel Coast, and then by boat across the coast, and then by train to London. So the journey of this letter is a remarkable story. It tells you everything you need to know about the kind of globalized world of the British Empire.

39:55Dominic Sandbrook:But when it finally got to the Foreign Office, the officials didn't know what to do with it. They just saw it as weird and a sort of distraction from bigger issues. And one of them wrote on Cameron's accompanying note, we can expect no advantage from meddling with the politics of abyssinia so the british actually do not want to intervene in abyssinia they're not interested in it they forwarded the letter to the india office it was filed away in the india office and people forgot all about it anyway now 18 months on they dig it out again and they draft a reply from queen victoria reply which they hope and i quote will tempt the savage to let our people go It's addressed to our good friend Theodros, king of Abyssinia.

40:38Dominic Sandbrook:And Victoria, she says, I've heard that you've detained some of our people. And she says that your majesty can give no better proof of the sincerity of the sentiments which you profess towards us than by dismissing our servant and any other Europeans who may desire it from your court and by affording them every assistance and protection on their journey. Is that your Queen Victoria voice? That's Queen Victoria's voice. Audio archive. And that's signed Victoria R. Balmoral, 26th of May, 1864. And they say, well, obviously we'll have to send somebody with this letter to persuade Teodros to accept it as a sign of our friendship.

41:12Dominic Sandbrook:And the reason they're doing this is not particularly that they're worried about the missionaries. I question how much they really care about the missionaries, to be brutally honest. What they really care about is the French, of course. So this is the point when Suez Canal mania is at its height. They are very anxious that if they alienate Teodros, he will jump into bed with Paris. The French will end up controlling the Red Sea coast, and that would mean the French would control the route between Suez and India. And we cannot have that. So they choose somebody to take this letter and to assure Teodros of Britain's friendship.

41:53Dominic Sandbrook:And the guy they choose is a really, really remarkable man called Hummuzd Rassam. and Tom you should like him on all kinds of levels well he's um born in Mosul wasn't he

42:03Tom Holland:which is the home of Omar Mohammed who did an extraordinary bonus for us a couple of weeks back

42:09Dominic Sandbrook:yeah and he's a he's an ethnic Assyrian uh Hormuz Rassam and an archaeologist I know you love a bit of archaeology he uh did some digging at Nimrud and at Nineveh well Nineveh is basically Mosul so just right on his doorstep and now I know as well you love the British Museum and this guy rossam did a lot of work for the british museum he discovered the palace of ashur banapel which you will know far more about than i do and he was instrumental in discovering the epic of gilgamesh

42:40Tom Holland:the tablets we must do an episode on that yeah the epic gilgamesh would be brilliant anyway so

42:44Dominic Sandbrook:this guy um rossam there should be a statue of him at the british museum he was such a tremendous man he traveled to england he went to maudlin college oxford he converted to protestantism when he was at Oxford. He became a massive Anglophile. He's a man who I reckon would wear a tweed suit to bed. In the 40 degree heat of Ethiopia. Unquestionably. And the Foreign Office had employed him as their political agent in Aden. You're right. He's a tremendous man. And Rassam is now in his mid-30s. Everyone says he's brilliant. Everyone says this guy is the absolute business he's uh pleasant he's polite he's really good at archaeology he knows loads about assyria he loves digging he loves britain he's great there's literally nothing to not to like exactly the only person who doesn't like him actually so harry flashman who found him oily in flashman and in his memoir flashman on the march but every writer who's written about this says rassam is fantastic good judgment sensible calm level-headed all of this rassam arrives on the red sea coast at massawa in july 1864 with two blokes a dr gaud henry blanc and lieutenant prido of the bombay staff corps they've come as his assistants both with suspiciously french names well here's the thing there are some writers who say the british sent rassam blanc and prido deliberately because if everything went wrong and they got into trouble the british wouldn't care so it would play well with the newspapers because they all had foreign names.

44:18Dominic Sandbrook:That's the cunning, you see?

44:20Tom Holland:That's the cunning of the British Foreign Office. That is the animal cunning of the British Foreign Office that has slightly gone missing recently. Definitely. We used to be a real country.

44:31Dominic Sandbrook:So anyway, Rassam sends a letter inland to Teodros and he waits. And two months go by and all the time he's trying to get intel on the guy he's got to do business with. So Teodros' reputation now is very bad. One trader says to him, he is the scourge of humanity, the arch enemy of humankind. But the local ruler on the Red Sea coast says, no, that's not true at all. He says he's actually a very kind man. He's just been led astray by the natural bloodlust of the Abyssinian people. And then the local ruler adds the ominous remark, of course, he's also insane. So they keep waiting. It's incredibly hot.

45:09Dominic Sandbrook:So they have to camp outside in what was once Plowden's garden. There's cholera, there's a famine, it's all terrible. They're waiting for news. And finally, letters arrive not from Teodros, but from the hostages themselves. So these are Stern, Rosenthal, Cameron, and the other missionaries. Now, a lot of time has passed. They have been in captivity now for 18 months. And their conditions are sub-ideal. They've been kept chained up initially in the royal camp. They didn't see much of Teodros. Occasionally, when he'd been drinking, he would come into the tents where they were chained up in a massive rage.

45:44Dominic Sandbrook:He would have them bound in very tight cords, sort of like ropes. And then he would have them doused in cold water, which seems a bit mean.

45:54Tom Holland:Well, I don't know.

45:55Dominic Sandbrook:It depends how hot it is. Yeah, you'd probably steam, would you? It was really hot. You might steam. No one wants that. No one's hot. You like a cold shower. He has a massive hatred of this guy, Stern, a passionate hatred of the guy who had mocked his genealogy. He said, give me the name of the man who reviled my ancestors or rip it from your heart. He's obsessed with the idea that they have local collaborators. The time goes by. Their clothes are rags. They're living on a handful of dried peas. It rains in the summer. They're very sodden. They're miserable. They're very ill. And at the end of 1864, they are dragged out of their tents to join this long column of Teodros' prisoners.

46:36Dominic Sandbrook:So these are captured rebels, disgraced officials, common criminals. They're marched out across the highlands for seven days, and after a week, they're absolutely exhausted, and then finally they see ahead their destination, the towering cliffs of Magdala, which is Teodros' mountain citadel. And this is his favourite headquarters. The writer Philip Marston, who wrote a brilliant book about this called The Barefoot Emperor, which I recommend to the listeners, he calls Magdala, his garrison, his prison, his stronghold and home, his asylum, his treasury, and his dungeon. This is the Helm's Deep of Abyssinia, this mountain fastness.

47:19Dominic Sandbrook:If you go up to the top, you look out, you can see miles and miles around, people approaching. Even a small force can hold this mountain indefinitely. And in the walled compound on the top of the mountain, Teodros keeps his most valuable treasures and these are things he's looted from churches across abyssinia

47:39Tom Holland:oh okay so the british aren't the only people who've done some looting in this story oh good

47:45Dominic Sandbrook:no no not at all this is the stuff that will end up in toronto and uh he also keeps his most important prisoners so his rivals pretenders the heirs to various regional kingdoms and things now he keeps the european prisoners separately they're in huts by the cliff edge just 20 yards from the cliff edge, which some of them find disturbingly close. The huts are infested with spiders and rats. The hostages, the missionaries, are fettered at the ankles, and then these fetters are connected by a chain to a manacle on their hands, which is the chain that is a little bit too short. So they're hunched over the whole time, and if they want to move around, they're still hunched, and they develop severe spinal pain, which is not good.

48:30Dominic Sandbrook:But from here, Cameron has smuggled messages to the coast and as rossam on the coast reads these messages he's quite disturbed because cameron says i'm convinced that only military action will persuade the emperor to release us and he adds a note to rossam he says for god's sake do not come up here he will cage you as sure as a gun and this leaves rossam in a bit of a quandary you know do i not go um am i ever going to get a letter from the emperor himself what should i do and then in august 1865 the emperor's reply finally arrives and it's a litany of grievances against stern and cameron in particular but also implicitly they're not quite explicitly stated there's an invitation to rossam why don't you come and talk to me so rossam gets permission from london and then he heads in land with his assistants, Dr.

49:25Dominic Sandbrook:Blanc and Lieutenant Prido. The countryside by now is barren, desolate, scarred by war and rebellion and famine and plague. The people are kind of skeletal and ghostly, kind of, you know, it's like something from a zombie apocalypse or something. And all the time as they advance, it's very kind of Cortez and Montezuma or something, because all the time And Rassam is getting these rambling letters from Teodros that lurch wildly from a kind of aggressive self-pity to, you know, polite, friendly apologies. So Rassam doesn't really know what to make of this. Anyway, the 28th of January, 1866, they reach Teodros' camp.

50:09Dominic Sandbrook:And Rassam has been waiting for this moment for a year and a half. I mean, this is a very long-winded enterprise. And he gets into his finery, his best blue diplomatic uniform, and Blanc and Pridot are wearing the red uniforms of the British Indian Army. And once again, you'll be pleased to hear that they find Theodros reclining on a divan, surrounded by musicians and courtiers and bodyguards. And Rassam hands over Queen Victoria's letter. and Teodros goes into a huge rant about his grievances not just against the missionaries but against his own people he says my own people are useless as well they're rebellious and and violent and uncivilized I don't know what to do I'm beset by opponents I'm you know no one understands me all this and Rassan plays all this very skillfully he doesn't argue with Teodros he says oh I really do sympathize with you you have a terrible job you know I wouldn't want to be in your shoes.

51:06Dominic Sandbrook:You're the father of your people. Maybe the thing to do is to cultivate patience and tolerance, and maybe you can teach your people to do what is right. Anyway, you've got a letter here from Queen Victoria. I'm confident that when you read the letter, you will forget the past and try to establish amicable relations with England. And when Teodros hears this, he is delighted. He is absolutely, he's really touched. In fact, he's so touched that that night he can't sleep. He's so excited. He's finally got the reply that he wanted from Queen Victoria. And the next day, at dawn, he dictates a new letter to Victoria.

51:45Dominic Sandbrook:He says, I know God has chosen you from all men to be the champion of religion, to be the friend of the poor and the oppressed. He says to her, you must have heard of the ignorance and blindness of us, the Ethiopian people. If you find offensive what I was bold enough to write to you, do not be angry with me. advise me for you the queen whom god has chosen have had your eyes opened i mean who knows what queen victoria would make of this anyway he summons rossam to his tent and he says you know i'm feeling so happy now i'm going to release all the captives i'm going to bring them down from they're on the top of the mountain i'm going to bring them down from the mountain of magdala and you can take them to the coast you can have free passage and rossam this is a massive result for rossam he has totally vindicated the foreign office's faith and teodros says there is one catch it's going to take quite a long time to bring the hostages down from magdala and in the meantime i've got some rebels to deal with i'd love it if you would come with me and rossam says yeah fine so they ride out to the head of thousands of men and during the march again it's very montezuma and cortez or something Teotras often says, I'd like that guy to ride with me, please.

53:03Dominic Sandbrook:And he questions him about the British Empire, how are you getting on in West Africa against the Ashanti, all this kind of thing. It keeps pestering him with questions about the Crimean War. He cannot get his head around the fact that the British won the Crimean War but then signed a treaty with Tsar Nicholas I and didn't execute him. That blows his mind anyway. So there's that, right? But then there's two themes that he keeps coming back to. He's like, mind will wander, and then he'll come back to these themes. One of them is how the missionaries were very rude to him and rude about his genealogy.

53:38Dominic Sandbrook:And whenever he talks about it, he starts shaking because he's so cross. And then the other thing he says, actually, I would like a formal treaty with the British, who are, of course, my brothers. And I would love it. He says, I know Queen Victoria is too – I know she's very important and very busy, and I'm small fry to her. but I also know she has a lot of governors in India and I would love it if she would appoint one of her governors in India to be my sort of contact my point man just for me that I could talk to and Rassam is very diplomatic you know he says to him well when I get back to London with the hostages I will talk to her majesty's government and I'm sure they'll look kindly on your majesty's proposal Teodros says oh great thank you they reach a place called Lake Tana Here they part.

54:23Dominic Sandbrook:Teodros is going off to attack some rebels, and Rassam's going to wait for the hostages. And Rassam waits by the lakeside for the hostages, and every few days Teodros sends him gifts on letters. So Teodros sends him some bizarre gifts. He sends him muskets, pistols, manuscripts that he's looted. He sends Rassam an antelope, two lion cubs, two monkeys, and a baboon. Oh, really? Yeah. He could start his own zoo with this stuff.

54:50Tom Holland:His own menagerie. What does Rassam do with them? I think they just hang out. Just hang out, the baboon and the antelope and the lion cubs. I mean, they're well known for getting on with one another.

54:59Dominic Sandbrook:What could go wrong? And also a load of irreplaceable ancient manuscripts. If ever I'm given an ancient manuscript, I make sure to put it with a baboon, because I think what could go wrong? Anyway, on the 12th of March, 1866, the hostages finally turn up. They've been marched down through the mountains. They're absolutely knackered. They're ill. There's 23 of them. Presumably, they're not still, they haven't got this kind of, they're fettered to the ankles with their curved spine. They have been fettered all the way. How do they walk? It's just general trudging, I think. Sort of hunched over trudging.

55:31Dominic Sandbrook:Oh, that's awful. They're alive. I mean, that's a plus. Their chains, because their chains are not removed until they get to the lake. And at that point, Rassam thinks, finally, you know, this is, we've sorted this out. Teodros, who at this stage appears absolutely lovesick. He's so infatuated with Rassam. He's still sending him presents. he sends him some cows he sends him some some money he says please don't go off just yet i'm having a special medal made for you it's called the cross and solomon seal i've also commissioned special shields for you and dr blanc and lieutenant prido and a special golden saddle for you to mark our friendship in all teodros sent rasam 23 letters and rasam at this point starts to feel a little as you might a little disturbed this friendship has got an unhealthy dimension to it because basically it appears that Teodros has got a massive crush on him a pash and yeah a pash and Rassam becomes genuinely concerned is he ever going to well is he going to let me go because he seems absolutely besotted with me and at last Teodros arrives back at the lake and his first words to Rassam perhaps a little bit ominous because he um he takes him by the hand and says to him i feel as happy as if i were visiting the queen so i says oh brilliant and then teodros says i want to introduce you to my eldest son can you shake hands please and he says um i would really love it if queen victoria would adopt my sons as her wards so that when i die they may be looked after by the english and not allowed to govern badly and rossam says yeah we can probably look into that fine now um tildros at this point is very erratic i think there's probably a lot of drinking he's still lurching between these attacks on the missionaries and then he'll burst into tears and say how much he loves britain and how he loves rossam and queen victoria at one point he gets very maudlin he says to rossam i know that

57:31Tom Holland:when you go you will forget me you will forget your friend i mean to be fair to rossam rossam

57:37Dominic Sandbrook:is not going to forget this is he no this bloke has given you a baboon and burst into tears in front of you you're never going to forget it you don't forget a man who gives you a baboon i remember all the people who've given me baboons so rossam is a little bit anxious but on the 13th of april orders come that the camp is going to be packed up and he thinks at last you know we are going to go home the missionaries wait on the eastern side of the lake rassam and dr blanc and lieutenant prido cross the lake to go and say goodbye to teodros it's only polite to say goodbye to him and they get to his camp and they find it oddly silent and they're shown by the guards into teodros's pavilion and in his pavilion are all teodros's courtiers and his bodyguards as usual who were just staring at them.

58:23Dominic Sandbrook:But the throne is at the end of the pavilion and there's no Teodros on the throne, which they find weird. And at that moment, they notice there's no one on the throne where Sam feels a hand on his arm and then he feels a hand on his other arm and it's the guards and he realizes they're under arrest. No. Yes. That's the twist. Oh my God. Yeah. I believed in Teodros' love for him. I think Teodros does love Rossam. So the missionaries, by the way, are being rounded up at this point again. Oh, and put back in their shackles. And put back in their shackles. Now, let's come to this. What's going on?

59:03Dominic Sandbrook:What is Teodros thinking? There are various possibilities. Number one is that he was lying all the time. He was playing games with Rossam. Number two is that he wasn't, but at the last minute, he was overcome by his hatred of the missionaries. And number three is he did love Rassam, after all. Yeah, he couldn't bear to let him go. Couldn't bear to let him go. I think that seems the likeliest. Well, in his biography of Teodros and his discussion of this, Philip Marsden says, you know, Rassam couldn't really understand it. And like Rassam, we are lost in a labyrinth of contradictory messages made more confusing by the emperor's growing paranoia.

59:40Dominic Sandbrook:However, Marsden says, probably Teodros is infatuated with Rassam. and he sees rossam as his best chance of getting friendship with britain and get his british technology and there's a sort of link with the outside world and he simply cannot bear to let him go he would he just he wants to keep him in a way quite touching yeah in a weird way it is actually quite touching i mean not for rossam obviously but no anyway so three days later the whole load of them are brought into his tent for yet another show trial so it's now quite correct there's about 30 of them so rassam and prido and blanc and whatnot yeah he's collecting quite a lot isn't he yeah teodros is collecting hostages the full set and teodros says this is all your fault rassam you should have brought the missionaries to see me before you left it was very rude of you not to bring them when you came to say goodbye is this your friendship mr rassam that you wish to leave me and take away those who have abused me and the next day teodros dictates a new letter to Queen Victoria.

1:00:42Dominic Sandbrook:He says, I'm actually keeping your envoy and all these people as my guests. And in the meantime, I would like you to send me some skillful artists to make me some guns.

1:00:53Tom Holland:Oh, they're always the guns.

1:00:54Dominic Sandbrook:I want blacksmiths, I want gunsmiths, I want artillery specialists, and when I'm satisfied, I shall, through the power of God, give them a splendid payment and with great honour send them back. Now, he's got to get this letter to Queen Victoria, and of course he doesn't want to let Rassam go. So he chooses one of the missionaries. to do it and this is a german man with the terrible name of martin flad and he's a reverend the reverend martin flad the reverend martin flad had also been sent by the london society for the promotion of christianity among the jews and flad had come to abyssinia with his wife and three children flad doesn't want to leave his family behind he hates uh teodros he calls him a savage a cruel inhuman and sly despot but he feels he doesn't have any choice so flad sets off with this letter he makes very good progress he gets to london in july 1866 and he goes to the foreign office and he gives them the letter and he tells them teodros's demands and he says to them this bloke teodros is mad don't send troops if you if british soldiers set foot on abyssinian soil he will in a most cruel and barbarous manner slaughter out all our people just give him what wants.

1:02:06Dominic Sandbrook:You know, we've done hostage crises before. We did the Iran hostage crisis. This is a problem, you know, that is a perennial issue that governments have to face. Do you intervene militarily or does that mean you risk the deaths of all the hostages? Anyway, the Foreign Office at this point think, well, we don't want to intervene in Abyssinia. They arrange for loads of stuff, a mad collection of stuff, a steam engine and gunpowder mill, smelting equipment, a hunting rifle, a telescope. This is all going to be sent to the Red Sea and they're going to send a team of workmen to handle it. However, there is a catch.

1:02:41Dominic Sandbrook:They say to Vlad, you go ahead with a new letter from Queen Victoria and when Theodros releases the hostages, he can have his smelting equipment, not before. So Vlad goes back to Abyssinia. He gets to the Red Sea coast. There are messages from the hostages waiting for him, including his wife and children. They're all alive, but they're having a very, very weird time as guests of the emperor. So on the one hand, Teodros has presented Rassam with his medal and his golden saddle. He threw a party for Queen Victoria's birthday, and he demonstrated some of his guns. He's taken Rassam's shooting, and they have had some excellent chats about Alexander the Great.

1:03:28Dominic Sandbrook:because Teodros is, did you know this? Teodros is not just descended from Solomon. He's actually also descended from Alexander. I did not know that.

1:03:36Tom Holland:Goodness. So more complexity for his genealogists to wrestle with. Exactly.

1:03:41Dominic Sandbrook:There's a lot going on there. On the other hand, occasionally Teodros will go mad. He will force them to watch him whipping his courtiers to death. And he will go into these mad rants and things.

1:03:54Tom Holland:And do we think these stories are true? because mad despots having rants and whipping people to death is the kind of staple of...

1:04:01Dominic Sandbrook:I think they're totally true. There's enough missionary... Some of these missionaries are very pious and slightly dull people. They're not making stuff up. The climax of this is he locks them all in a sort of black hole of Calcutta-style cellar. And then he comes in... They're all in the cellar hunched over in their chains. He comes in with a bottle of Arak, kind of raki-type thing, and sits down and just sits there drinking and talking to them.

1:04:26Tom Holland:and they find that very stressful. Can I ask, what language are they talking in? He speaks Amharic. And do they by now speak it? I guess they do. They must speak some.

1:04:34Dominic Sandbrook:Maybe there's interpreters there that we don't know about, but I think they must understand. Maybe they can only pick up one in every four words, but I think they get the gist. Alexander, Solomon. Yeah, he's drinking and chatting. And then at the very end, he's finished the bottle, and he says to them very quietly and slightly sadly, my father was mad. And though people often say that I am mad, I never would believe it, but now I know it's true. And then Rassam says to him, don't say such a thing. And Teodros gets up and he goes to the doorway and he looks back and he says in a hoarse whisper, I am mad.

1:05:11Dominic Sandbrook:Goodbye. And that off he goes. I think that's a bit disconcerting, frankly. So that's the last they see of him for almost two years. Two years? Yeah. They left him that cellar for two years? No, no, they're brought out again. They're brought out. In fact, what happens to them is they're taken back up to Magdala, to the mountain citadel, 10 ,000 feet above sea level. And they're chained up and they're put in their huts. Teodros goes off to fight some rebels. He's now proceeding with extreme cruelty, taking thousands of prisoners, massacring villages, stealing people's sacred books, all this. So this is the picture that greets this guy, Vlad, when he returns to the coast.

1:05:53Dominic Sandbrook:and the letters that he's got from the missionaries are all very bleak so the swiss missionary theophonus valdemeier says if you brought all this stuff you might as well throw it in the sea because teodros would rather cut all the europeans into a thousand pieces then hand them over and flad's wife pauline has written him a very depressing letter i entreat you don't trust don't trust don't trust if the workmen come not a single soul will be able to leave the country Flad, however, is determined to come anyway. So he rides through this sort of war-ravaged landscape, and he finds Teodros in his camp.

1:06:26Dominic Sandbrook:And rather disconcertingly, Teodros is surrounded by the rotting bodies of starved horses. It's actually a bit like George Washington's camp at Valley Forge. Not clearing them up. Yeah. And Flad presents Teodros with a telescope, a little taster of the gifts he will have when he releases the hostages. geodros throws the telescope aside and he says the man who sends me this telescope only wants to annoy me geodros says what's your queen got to say the flat says well basically if you don't release the hostages you have no right to expect any further friendship geodros is shocked by this he's totally silent and then he says quietly very well i asked from them a sign of friendship but it is refused to me so be it flad is led away to join the hostages so this is his reunion i mean he basically voluntarily goes back into captivity to see his wife and children and that it seems as that chadras is not going to let them go the british are not going to give him all his equipment a total stalemate and the stalemate remains like that for six months chadras is off fighting rebels the hostages are all huddled together at magdala and they're hearing ever more sort of blood curdling rumors about his growing madness and cruelty they are convinced that eventually he will come back to magdala and he'll just say kill the lot of them in march 1867 dr blanc writes a note that is smuggled to the coast and then to the foreign office and he says i'm going to tell you the whole story of Teodros and his rise, his crimes, our plight, his madness.

1:08:09Dominic Sandbrook:And Blanc says, the time for talking to this guy is over. And I quote, only one thing remains, force. But of course, Dr. Blanc doesn't know whether his note is even going to get there or whether anybody is listening or anything like this. And then one day in the early summer of 1867, a messenger stumbles into Teodros' camp and he has a letter come from the Red Sea coast. And the letter is an ultimatum from London. The British government have lost patience. They're giving him three months to release the hostages. And after that, they will cut off all talks. And the implication is that they will begin military action.

1:08:52Dominic Sandbrook:Is Teodros going to accept? spoiler he will not and so it is that on the 19th of august 1867 lord derby's cabinet meet in london to decide their next move and there's never any doubt really about what that will be diplomacy

1:09:08Tom Holland:has failed it is time for war it's war what a cliffhanger unbelievable drama and members of the Rest of History Club can find out what happens next. The story of Sir Robert Napier's Abyssinian expedition and the great battle for Magdala right now. And we have a special incentive, Dominic, this week because club members will be getting a special bonus on some of the great characters of this story, the hostages, the adventurers, and particularly the mad story of what happened to Theodorus's son, who improbably ended up as a schoolboy in one of England's great public schools. And not just any school.

1:09:55Tom Holland:He went to Flashman's old school. Rugby. Amazing. So to hear all that and to hear episode two, if you're not already a member of the Rest is History Club, you can go to therestishistory.com. But for now, thank you, Dominic. Goodbye. Bye-bye.

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