In short
Lee Sung Jin discusses the spirituality behind Netflix’s Beef, arguing that “letting go” and intentionality are key to transformation. He links the show’s resonance to Jungian shadow work, cultural specificity (identity, ethnicity, capitalism, generational divides), and filmmaking choices like camera/shot intention. He also reflects on depression, free will, samsara/mandala themes, and how self-help culture can become stagnant when it turns into consumption rather than change.
Guest backgrounds
Lee Sung Jin is the creator of Beef and has other TV projects in development with A24, FX, and Lionsgate. He studied economics at the University of Pennsylvania, initially expected investment banking, and later pursued writing/filmmaking. He describes Korean-American immigrant life (moving between Korea and the U.S.), early loneliness, and a career path that included writing for Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2008) and later network multicam work that harmed his mental health.
Key claims
Rock bottom can be a “trampoline” for growth; pain can be turned into art. Humans hide intention, but audiences feel it if it’s unclear. Consciousness may be fundamental, making free will less relevant. Cultural change is possible but often requires willingness triggered by suffering.
Notable examples
His suicide attempt/“brush with suicide” in Dec 2013 after mental health collapse; his father’s Samsung supercomputer work; Beef’s season 1 hibachi-grill suicide parallel; season 2’s painterly/lush aesthetic and score; his collaboration process (e.g., long vulnerable Zoom with Oscar Isaac); and a “mountain” metaphor from Vedic/Indian teachings about going around rather than climbing.
Written by AI. May contain mistakes. Listen to the episode to check what was said.
Chapters
Tap a time to open that second in VOExploring Existential Questions
0:45 to 2:12
Lee reflects on his life experiences and the existential questions he faced.
“I mean, when I was 12, I was just studying for the PSATs.”
Family and Career Decisions
2:12 to 3:53
A conversation about Lee's family's initial confusion over his career choices.
“I was supposed to be an investment banker.”
Lee's Father's Legacy
3:53 to 4:50
Lee discusses his father's career at Samsung and the sacrifices made for family.
“There was one teacher who made you do push-ups and while you're doing push-ups, would punch you in the face.”
Challenging Education Experiences
4:50 to 7:26
Lee shares his traumatic experiences in the Korean education system.
“First, the fact that your dad would make that sacrifice for his family, for you and your sibling, your one sister.”
Crisis and Transformation
7:26 to 8:36
Lee recounts his mental health struggles and moments leading to transformation.
“And at the time, like comedy was so in, like hard comedy, like very UCB, like a joke, every piece of dialogue.”
The Hero's Journey
8:36 to 10:37
Discussion on how painful moments lead to transformation and artistic creation.
“But that really became a needed clean slate of, okay, like, if I'm going to participate in this reality, then like, why am I here?”
Parenting and Protecting Innocence
10:37 to 12:14
Lee reflects on his role as a father and the desire to protect his child's innocence.
“We're all just trying to come home to ourselves.”
Free Will and Life's Challenges
12:14 to 14:00
A philosophical discussion on free will and its implications in life.
“And everything happened in a certain sequence, and it's allowed me to do what I do.”
Exploring Free Will and Consciousness
14:00 to 16:49
Delve into the philosophical debate about free will and consciousness through an engaging discussion.
“neuroses of like not wanting to be your parent.”
Cultural Resonance of 'Beef'
16:49 to 20:38
Unpack why the show 'Beef' resonates culturally and its exploration of Jungian themes.
“get about your experience or the experience of those people around you, oddly, the more specific you get, the more universal it seems to travel.”
Show all 48 chapters
The Art of Filmmaking and Intent
20:38 to 24:55
Discuss the intentionality behind filmmaking and the artistry involved in narrative creation.
“when I realized that music and storytelling are really the same.”
Personal Growth and Emotional Themes in Season Two
24:55 to 28:00
Explore the deeper emotional themes and personal growth reflected in the second season of 'Beef'.
“And so I feel like season one felt like very much like old chapter.”
Influence of the Podcast on Mental Health
28:00 to 28:52
Discussing the profound impact of the podcast on mental health and self-exploration.
“I mean, your Instagram handle is Be Here Now Later.”
Self-Optimization and Media Landscape
28:52 to 30:15
Exploring the evolution and concerns surrounding the self-optimization movement in media.
“But now that I know that, now I'm jealous that the podcast drop in season two wasn't me and it was Huberman, but actually much funnier that it was Andrew.”
The Cycle of Growth and Stagnation
30:15 to 31:31
Analyzing the cycle of growth, stagnation, and capitalism in self-help movements.
“You know, like when Josh is like, I'm listening to a fucking podcast, but it's like clearly he has a crisis that he should be addressing.”
Breaking Free from Samsara
31:31 to 33:37
Discussing the challenges of breaking free from samsara and the mental health implications.
“which is growth and then stagnation and then capitalism, you know, puts its claws in and then, but then it has to adapt and change.”
Accepting the Journey Around the Mountain
33:37 to 34:19
Understanding the importance of accepting the journey rather than striving to achieve.
“I feel like this thing is a prison and I just want to break out.”
The Power of Letting Go
34:19 to 35:25
Exploring the concept of letting go as a path to mental wellness.
“striver's approach to like, I am going to achieve, you know, like my mental health is applying the problematic aspect of yourself to the problem.”
Accepting the Journey Around the Mountain
38:15 to 39:29
Understanding the importance of accepting the journey rather than striving to achieve.
“There is an occupational hazard to my job, and that is that everyone wants to send me their newfangled wellness gadget, 98%, 99 % of which just end up in a drawer after a single use.”
Accepting the Journey Around the Mountain
39:34 to 39:47
Understanding the importance of accepting the journey rather than striving to achieve.
“Please support our show and tell them we sent you.”
Mental Health Journey and Personal Experiences
39:47 to 42:00
Lee Sung Jin reflects on his struggles with depression and their impact on his work.
“Like, you've been pretty transparent about your struggles with depression and how your personal life experiences find their way into the beef.”
The Illusion of Connection
42:00 to 44:20
Exploration of loneliness, crutches for connection, and the divine illusion of separateness.
“back then, I think loneliness felt like a thing to solve.”
Generational Insights and Interpretation
44:20 to 46:30
Discussion on perspectives across generations regarding the show's conclusion and its open-ended nature.
“and you do it explicitly in season two with the difference between millennials and Gen Z, but it comes full circle to say, it doesn't really matter.”
Impact of Digital Culture
46:30 to 48:10
The struggle of being terminally online and its effects on creativity and mental health.
“You know, you have this ability to really understand like youth culture and their relationship to the internet in this very authentic way that doesn't feel like patched on by a boomer.”
Understanding Change and Self-Optimization
48:10 to 51:40
An exploration of the challenges surrounding personal change and the societal obsession with self-help.
“Yeah, it's almost like we need a new Maslow's hierarchy of needs that takes into account our relationship with the digital world.”
Stories That Bind Us
51:40 to 56:01
The power of storytelling in shaping identity and the need to create new narratives.
“That's why you have like these daily routines.”
The Creative Process Behind X-Men
56:01 to 58:04
Explore the collaborative journey of writing and developing the X-Men movie.
“My dad and I used to wake up Saturday mornings and watch the animated series together.”
Marvel's Evolution and Current Landscape
58:04 to 1:00:07
Discuss the shifts in Marvel's strategy and its impact on storytelling.
“Well, it's an interesting moment for Marvel.”
Marvel's Evolution and Current Landscape
1:01:23 to 1:02:13
Discuss the shifts in Marvel's strategy and its impact on storytelling.
“Hundreds of people describing in their own words what working with their therapist has actually done for them.”
Character Analysis: Ashley and Relationships
1:03:53 to 1:10:01
Delve into the complexities of Ashley's character and her relationships.
“I was thinking about Ashley and Austin and their relationship dynamic, because there's so much like relationship stuff going on.”
Character Choices and Development in 'Beef'
1:10:01 to 1:13:26
Explore the complexities of Austin's character and his choices in the series.
“So he does the safe, I guess, not courageous thing in some regards.”
Generational Perspectives on Social Media
1:13:27 to 1:17:19
Discuss how Millennials and Gen Z differ in their approach to social media.
“in some fight and I just like drop the bomb.”
Nostalgia and the Influence of Generations
1:17:20 to 1:22:15
Explore the nostalgia for the 90s and how it affects Gen Z and Millennials.
“I do, like spiritually, I relate to Gen X the most because being cusp where the late 90s and early 2000s was very like the most influential for me.”
Reflections on Aging and Career in Writing
1:22:16 to 1:24:03
Reflect on the passage of time, aging, and career milestones in writing.
“It was a real wake-up call for me watching season two.”
Early Career Breaks and NBC Page Program
1:24:03 to 1:25:28
Learn about Lee Sung Jin's journey into the entertainment industry through the NBC Page program.
“your first job was in the NBC page program.”
The Road to Writing and First Major Break
1:25:28 to 1:27:25
Discover how Lee transitioned from temping to landing his first significant writing opportunity.
“Out of that, I got a job at the Today Show.”
Experience in the Writer's Room of 'Always Sunny'
1:27:25 to 1:28:25
Hear about the invaluable lessons learned in the writer's room of 'It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia'.
“And it wasn't until we got a new manager.”
Crafting Tone in 'Beef' and Collaborative Challenges
1:28:25 to 1:30:47
Understand the importance of tone in writing and how Lee navigates collaboration in TV shows.
“But it's usually like something small and annoying happens.”
The Unique Appeal of A24 and Artistic Freedom
1:30:47 to 1:34:17
Explore A24's creative approach and its role in producing 'Beef'.
“And it feels like A24 is the only, like, home for this.”
Navigating Challenges as a Writer of Color
1:34:17 to 1:37:09
Lee discusses personal experiences and systemic issues faced by writers of color.
“You've spoken publicly about your early experiences in writers' rooms and some of the challenges that you had and this sensibility that you were a DEI hire and kind of like, oh, well, I'm not really a writer.”
Generational Perspectives on Confidence in the Industry
1:37:09 to 1:38:01
Reflect on generational differences in confidence and validation within writers' rooms.
“and then it does get scary because you're like, a lot of progress has been made but then it also at times feels like we're kind of one step forward, two steps back.”
Generational Confidence and Mentorship
1:38:01 to 1:39:48
Exploring the differences in confidence between generations and the role of mentorship.
“in this room to build my career and we're not doing that joke.”
Parenting Styles and Expectations
1:39:49 to 1:41:47
Discussing the impacts of different parenting styles on children's self-esteem and identity.
“normal to feel like they have to earn it, but then how, how can we change that?”
The Nature vs. Nurture Debate
1:41:48 to 1:43:16
Examining the balance between nature and nurture in personal development.
“But like, you also realize, because now like my kids are older, like, and you realize young when they're super young, like they are who they are.”
The Evolution of Identity: From Lee Sung Jin to Sonny
1:43:17 to 1:44:42
Lee Sung Jin shares his personal journey in embracing his identity through his name.
“But we don't have free will anyway, do we?”
Advice to Young Asian-American Creators
1:44:43 to 1:49:26
Offering insights on balancing identity with craft for aspiring Asian-American filmmakers.
“and there was like a paper, like an assignment and I was just staring at the name portion.”
Beef's Impact and Future
1:49:27 to 1:52:00
Discussing the success of 'Beef' and the hopes for its future, as well as insights into the creative process.
“worthy of becoming broadly entertaining to other people.”
Closing Thoughts and Future Engagement
1:52:00 to 1:52:30
The conversation wraps up with expressions of gratitude and potential future interactions.
“And I can go back and watch it and find more things and the richness of it, you know, is really special.”
Transcript
Automatic transcript. May contain errors.0:00Letting go is actually the thing. Yeah. But we keep forgetting. Lee Sung Jin. Lee Sung Jin, the creator of the hit Netflix show Beef. He has other television products in development with A24, FX, and Lionsgate. You've expanded your aperture and you're tackling much deeper existential questions about what it is to be human. Danny says in season one, rock bottom can be your trampoline, which was just ripped from the headlines of my life. And I just started re-examining everything, like just intentionality, like what's my intention as a friend, as a son, as a writer. I'm actually sort of glad everything happened the way it did because what a privilege it is to get to take pain and then make art out of it.
0:49what would the 12 year old version of you think if he knew that one day he was going to be writing x-men and getting emmy nominations it's not as if like from day one you were thinking you were going to be a writer and a filmmaker no this is not really the trajectory it certainly was not. I mean, when I was 12, I was just studying for the PSATs. I was playing violin hours and hours every day. That's why my neck leans this way. I constantly have to correct it that way. Yeah, I had no idea that this was in store. I do feel very, very blessed. What stays is the same though is like, you know, at 12, I was also thinking very similar existential questions.
1:40And those questions are still here, haven't really been answered. And so it's like, yes, like I don't think 12 year old me would expect the hamster wheel that I'm on to look the way it does. But then I think 12 year old me would be like, oh, you're still, still don't have the answers, huh? You know? What do your folks think about what you're doing? They're very, very proud now. I think in the beginning, they were very confused. You know, when I graduated from the University of Pennsylvania with an economics degree, I was supposed to be an investment banker. And I just said, sorry, I'm moving to New York with no plan.
2:22And they were rightfully concerned. And I was a mess in my 20s. So that was just like a tumbleweed just kind of being blown around. And back then there was a lot of concern and worry. Now, like so, so proud, but still my parents, like my dad watched season two and texted me, hey, good job. But that final scene was too long. You should have - He's giving you notes. It was like, this shot should have been this much shorter, and then you should have cut to this, and then this, and then it would have been great. Now he's an editor. Yeah. I was like, well, the show's on the platform. It's aired, so I can't remove it and apply those changes.
3:08But they're still my parents, but they are extremely, extremely proud. True or false, your dad designed the first supercomputer? For Samsung, yes. For Samsung. Yeah, he was a professor for most of our lives. And there was a brief period where we moved back to Korea for my elementary school because he had gotten a job at Samsung. And he was tasked with designing the first supercomputer. And he gave up that job to move us all back to the United States because of how bad this public school system was back then. where they hadn't reformed the school system so the teachers would beat you every single day, like actual beat.
3:56There was one teacher who made you do push-ups and while you're doing push-ups, would punch you in the face. And you would stay after hours and hold a chair above your head. And if your elbows went down, they'd come with a metal ruler and just slap your wrist really hard. You'd have to straighten out. So that was every single day from third, fourth, fifth grade. And I was coming home with like bruises and so my parents decided that this Samsung path wasn't worth it and they would move us back to the United States, which I'm very, very thankful for. Obviously, Korea has since greatly reformed their education system to the other extreme where teachers are committing suicide now because the students bullied them so hard.
4:44So overcorrected there. But, you know, my dad likes to lament that all the heads of Samsung were people that were under him when he was there. And what could have been? Yeah. Well, yeah. I mean, two insights. First, the fact that your dad would make that sacrifice for his family, for you and your sibling, your one sister. Yeah. One sister. when he was in such a prestigious situation, you know, speaks to his character and what he values as important. And secondarily, for you to then go your own way, like you're on this track, like I'm sure it was heavy to have a dad who was that accomplished. And I don't know what the environment was like in your home, but you strike me as a striver.
5:31I mean, you got into Penn and it's not unusual that you would be considering investment banking and all of that. But to say, no, I'm not going to do that takes a degree of self-confidence and self-knowledge, to believe in yourself, to think like, I'm going to step off this path. I've been given the privilege to attend this university and I can see how my life is going to play out if I go this traditional route and I'm going to take the road less traveled. I think in hindsight, it can look like that, but in the moment, it certainly didn't feel like it. But it was weird. I was never making those decisions out of self-confidence.
6:10It felt very insecure and sad in the moment. I just remember being in college and just feeling such heavy melancholy because I didn't feel like myself. you know and uh i think this whole journey for me has been like i think also part of it is being a korean-american immigrant um i was born in korea moved over here moved back and forth and there's just you you really become from minute one uh accustomed to looking around copying and mimicking and never really feeling like yourself and that that becomes the norm and in college as I'm about to do investment banking, I'm starting to feel like this isn't me.
6:58And so I was just kind of chasing this sadness that was also the driving force, which in hindsight feels very confident, but in the moment it was just like stumbling. I had no idea what direction I was going. I just knew that I didn't feel good. And I think even as I found writing, it's same thing happened where the early part of my career, I was just mimicking what was in. Like my first job was on Always Sunny in Philadelphia in 2008. And at the time, like comedy was so in, like hard comedy, like very UCB, like a joke, every piece of dialogue. And so I would try to mimic that. And I ended up on a network multicam for three seasons that just completely destroyed my mental health because it just felt like I'm here and the person walking around in life is over here and it's just getting stretched more and more and more.
7:59And I could tell the rubber band was gonna snap, but I just didn't know when. And then I think in December 13th, 2013 is when it like snap snapped. And that was like my big brush with suicide and ended up in the hospital. and but you know like Danny says in season one you know rock bottom can be your trampoline and he says it sort of jokingly but or we wrote it jokingly he's saying it seriously but it is very true like that I'm so glad it finally snapped I feel very grateful that it I am still here but But that really became a needed clean slate of, okay, like, if I'm going to participate in this reality, then like, why am I here?
8:49And I just started reexamining everything, like, just intentionality, like you were saying, how we started this conversation. So what's my intention as a friend, as a son, you know, as a writer? and I started therapy, started really looking into, you know, self-help and, um, yeah, it all started from that moment. It really is the hero's journey of Lee Sung Jin. I mean, you, you were living progressively more and more out of alignment with your true self, adorning this mask, trying to fit in and figure out your way and how you could operate in this world that you were attracted to, but not confident or integrated enough to actually express your authentic self.
9:40Yes. Like thinking the only way to survive is to kind of costume myself, like all these other people around me, but do that long enough and you're going to reach a crisis point. And in your case, this bottom really is this incredible lever for transformation and growth. And this is something I think about a lot too. Like these painful moments, like you don't wish them on anybody, but they really, it's like the universe, the seas part or the universe puts you in a place and you suddenly have a degree of willingness to make these changes and do the scary thing. And as a result of doing that work, clearly you've done a lot.
10:18It's reflected in your work. It's like you couldn't write what you wrote without being this deeply introspective person who's gone through hard times and come out the other side and has an understanding of what it feels like to live outside of your own body and your own life and what it means to come home. We're all just trying to come home to ourselves. And when you do, it's like lightning strikes. And this beautiful work of art emerges from this. That's a reflection of the journey that you went on to be the kind of person who could carry that resonance in that message. Thank you very much. I try to remind myself of what you just said often because sometimes it gets easy to lament the negative things that have happened.
11:09But then, like you're saying, I'm like, oh, wait, I'm actually sort of glad everything happened the way it did because what a privilege it is to get to take pain and then make art out of it. But then it does get sad too because I have a, 16-month-old daughter and I look at her and she's so perfect and her personality and essence is just there intact from minute one and then I'm like oh my gosh like I want to all I want to do in life is to do everything in my power to protect that essence so it never gets chipped away at so that she never has to feel like I did. And I so want to protect that. And then in therapy, you get angry because then you're like, my instinct is so strong to protect that.
12:01How did so many people not for me? But then like you're saying, I just have to shift my prism of which I'm looking at that, which is, okay, that's great that I feel that for my daughter. But then for me, for whatever reason, And everything happened in a certain sequence, and it's allowed me to do what I do. And that's my path. And, you know, trying to find acceptance and gratefulness for it. But yeah, it's tough. It does ebb and flow between those two points on a daily basis. Yeah, these people who created challenges for you are actually your teachers. They were giving you the lessons you needed to learn in order to become the person you are today.
12:50And on some level, you could choose to see it through the lens of you having chosen this experience in this lifetime of the kind of difficulties that you had to go through so that you could transcend, become the person that you've become more fully embodied, more self-actualized, so that you can parent your child and spare them whatever generational trauma. you inherited and you get to interrupt that pattern. I hope so. Yeah, I mean, that's the whole game, I think. Yeah, 100%. It has been, I mean, one of the most rewarding parts of being a parent has been that feeling of, oh wait, we're breaking a cycle here.
13:34That's really, really cool. you know um and uh yeah i i and maybe that is why like life is the way it is where it's just designed to continually rebirth and we you know like uh we certainly aren't going to figure it out in our one lifetime yeah the key for you is making sure the pendulum doesn't swing too far in the other direction and then she inherits all kinds of other issues out of your neuroses of like not wanting to be your parent. Oh, totally. I'm like, it's inevitable. It's all, it's also like in the samsara of it all, like it's rigged, like it doesn't matter how good your intentions are, what you do, like there will be some reason why she's going to go to a therapist in 20 years and complain about how this didn't happen right.
14:24Or that was wrong. And you made, you made the mistake that, you know, harmed her. Yeah. It almost feels like, I'm curious what you think, having spoken to so many people with different opinions, at the end of the day, do you think that we actually have free will? Well, the neuroscientists will tell you that we don't. I think it's very difficult for our small brains to accept that there's a good chance that we don't have free will. It's just an intolerable concept that makes life very difficult. but the scientific studies seem to say that this is the case and i try not to think about that too much or maybe i think that like if you think of it in the broadest context uh i heard you tell a story like i think somebody was asking you about death or identity and you told the story of this octopus that had its arm severed off yeah and you know the octopuses limbs each having many brains Yeah.
15:31And that limb just goes off and is having its experience, not realizing that there's a larger brain that it was attached to. Yeah. And I think consciousness operates the same way. I think that we have this sense of individuation, but in truth, I think consciousness, I'm becoming increasingly convinced is fundamental to the universe. And we're like these kind of extruded biological forms that are inhabiting a means to have an experience for a short period of time before being absorbed into the oneness of consciousness. And so if you think of free will or the lack of free will in that context, it doesn't really seem as relevant.
16:15Yeah, it almost doesn't matter. Yeah. Because technically that arm doesn't have free will, but then it does. Yeah. Yeah. So it's a Zen Cohen, I think, right? We have to live as if we have free will, even if we don't. It doesn't matter. We still have to behave accordingly, I guess. Do you have a theory on why beef touched this cultural nerve and why it's become so successful and popular? I think one, something that I'm realizing as I get older is the more specific you can get about your experience or the experience of those people around you, oddly, the more specific you get, the more universal it seems to travel.
17:02I think largely because we're the same thing experiencing itself. So then you're sitting at home and you hear a thought that you only thought you had yourself. You're like, wait, that's me. So I think a little bit of it is that. And then I think with beef, we specifically call it Jungian shadow work amongst ourselves and my collaborators and I. I think for whatever reason, there are not a lot of avenues culturally to do Jungian shadow work at large. And so maybe that's also part of it, but I'm not sure, to be honest. The Jungian stuff is central. That just leaps off the screen for me because I spent a lot of time thinking about that.
17:49And I was reflecting on why is this show so resonant? It's as if you're a forensic pathologist performing an autopsy on culture, identity, ethnicity, capitalism. The generational divide and the specificity with which you construct these characters and their identities with respect to their cultural heritage or their socioeconomic status or their generational status is so specific. And it's like, oh, I know that person. And that's the universality piece to it. Thank you so much. Yeah, we can just feel that. And it draws us in and we feel connected. Yeah, I think, you know, Beef, out of all the things I've ever worked on, it's so born out of collaboration.
18:39And I mean, just hours and hours of conversations with the actors. Like, you know, I think my first Zoom with Oscar Isaac was, I think, like three and a half hours long. and we just went there like you know it was uh very deep and vulnerable and and and i think all those conversations kind of are the textures that you can put on top of the story math so to speak like as writers we can like craft like the right narrative chord progression uh but in terms of the textures you put on it that has to feel real and there's uh that's that's why so many of the textures, I don't try to imagine myself or the writers do.
19:22We have honest conversations with our collaborators and that's really the gold. The degree of intentionality is off the charts. I was listening to an interview with you and you were talking about shot composition and the dirty and clean way that you approach, where is the camera landing in the sequence of of how this kind of emotional arc is playing out. Like, why are you putting it on this person and what else is in the frame? And the level of consideration that goes into that is just like, I think beyond what the average person would ever imagine, but it's operating on the unconscious level.
20:00Oh, thank you. Yeah, we definitely have a lot of talk about intention because I think that's really the key. I've always said that like, you know, I think us as humans, we think we're really good at hiding our intention, but it's like pretty bald. And so when it comes to filmmaking, I think it's really important to have an intention or else the audience is going to feel the lack of or the muddiness of it if you're not crystal clear. Something unlocked for me years ago in my writing, when I realized that music and storytelling are really the same. And it was this article that I read where some university had fed its machine learning algorithm hundreds of pieces of classic literature, and AI discovered that we only tell stories in six or seven ways.
20:59And it's like shapes, like rise, fall, rise, fall, rise, fall. and then I was like wait that is the same thing that Vonnegut used to talk about in his man in the hole graph which is essentially a rise man in the hole fall and then arise again and then I started thinking well that's strange because the modern year only really like six to seven chord progressions and then I was thinking about the big one that we all chase and like you know top 40 hits and church music it's like you know different iterations of G E minor CDG and that is Jesus status quo. E minor is a fall and then CDD your CD you're rising back up to where you started G which is literally like story circle like you know Joseph Campbell like hero's journey and that got me thinking oh wait like it really is just like pressing buttons to make you feel a certain way and you're creating these energetic shapes that for some reason our brains respond to.
22:02And for whatever reason, I think collectively we seem to have fallen in love with this shape. Yeah. I don't know if that makes me feel better or worse about humanity. It's sort of like, we're very primitive beings that respond to stimuli in a very specific way. If you push this button. We're going to react this way. Which I think speaks thematically to the show as well, because there's a lot of hand-wringing around like, why are these characters behaving badly? But they're behaving badly based on early childhood traumatic experiences or systemic forces that are compelling them to behave in a certain way.
22:44If you were that person and had lived their life, you would be doing exactly what they're doing. Yes, that's right. In the same way that we respond unanimously to a certain chord progression. Yeah, I mean, I think that's what's so hard about being born into a body is like suddenly without consent, we are in this and then now you and I are separate. And then we are trained to believe that our like subjective lens and that voice inside is actually us. And it's so hard to see outside yourself. and and like you're saying those systemic forces then almost ingrain you in yourself because suddenly you don't have the resources you need you feel a lack so then it's like okay i need to gather gather to boost the self and the more you're self-focused and the less you're able to have the empathy to think wait if i were in that person's shoes i'd be doing the exact same thing which is why I think we tell stories.
23:45And I think we've been doing this since we were in the cave around a fire. We tell stories to try to break out of that rigidness of the self. It's a deeply spiritual work wrapped in a very delicious, digestible pop culture flavor. You're working on a very deep level with the themes. And you signal it at the end very overtly with the samsara and the mandala and all of that but like those themes are operating throughout the entire season it's a much more mature you know kind of growth out of season one like you've expanded your aperture and you're tackling like much deeper existential questions about what is what it is to be human uh yeah i i we definitely wanted to you know graduate so to speak like Like season one kind of felt like an examination of a lot of stuff from my past, you know?
24:42Like Danny's character in season one, like his struggles with mental health. And, you know, the season one opens with him returning hibachi grills that he had bought to kill himself, which was, you know, just ripped from the headlines of my life, something that I did at one point. And so I feel like season one felt like very much like old chapter. and uh you know i'm so glad that you you you felt this shift because it did feel like season two we wanted to tap into more of what's happening now uh for for a lot of my peers and i of of being 40 something and and starting to grapple with time and and realizing wait like i'm becoming the generation before me yeah i didn't even realize that that was happening and um and so i think because this was more now and season one's more old it felt like also the filmmaking and the aesthetic needed to change a little bit like season one intentionally felt very like grungy and messy and and that's why all the needle drops are like 90s grunge because it felt like spiritually those characters were trapped back then in that in that time period yeah whereas as season two wanted to go more painterly, more lush.
25:58You know, it's a season about love. So even the score is very like emotive and you have these like, you know, thick synths that Phineas composed. And, you know, that felt much more of now, which I think as, you know, at least for me, as you hit middle age, you start to feel new things. And there's a lot of melancholy and sadness, I think. as you lose during the making of the show. I lost one of my dogs unexpectedly and then I put that into the show. And so there's a lot of sadness that we wanted to tap into. What got me in the door was, I'm friends with David Cho and the fact that it was set in Calabasas season one.
26:47And I became obsessed with the locations where you were shooting. In fact, the house, Stephen Yeun's house, I'm like, I think I know where that house is. Like, I was like, I think I know exactly where that house is. And I was out on a bike ride one day and I pulled up this photo today. So here it is. Yeah, that's right. Oh my gosh. And I took this photo on, let's see, hold on. June 25th, 2023. Oh, no way. Yeah. Wow. So you were very early. No, I was obsessed with the show. No, but the house is spot on. That's actually like a one minute walk from, from, from my home. But just seeing the foibles of people who live in Calabasas brought to the screen.
27:28And then in season two, like I, I spent time in Ohio. Like I'm not a Montecito person, but I have friends in Ohio go up there. And like, just, I was like, oh my God, you're just like operating in my world, you know, reading my mind. But it's, it's these deeper themes that have got me really invested in it. I mean, this is all, you know, deriving from Ram Dass and Alan Watts and Esther Perel. Like, these are, these are like my touchstones, you know, and I spent a lot of time thinking about their work. And I know, because you've said it, that Be Here Now is your favorite, favorite book. Is that true?
28:02Yeah. I mean, your Instagram handle is Be Here Now Later. Oh, Be Here Later. Oh, Be Here Later. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Because it's like, yeah, you should be here now and then on Instagram later. But yeah, I mean, honestly, not to just gas you up because I'm here, but your podcast is hugely influential for my mental health and a lot of me processing these themes. I mean, you've introduced me through your guests, through so many people that are speaking to, and just even your own journey and how you're so about transformation and about kind of taking off the mask and examining what's really going on with being alive.
28:44I've consumed so much of your words and your guests' words that it does filter into my work. That's beautiful. I appreciate that. Yeah. But now that I know that, now I'm jealous that the podcast drop in season two wasn't me and it was Huberman, but actually much funnier that it was Andrew. Well, you don't talk about dopamine as much as Huberman does. Yeah, no, I definitely don't. I definitely don't. That was very, very funny. Oh, thanks. Um, what does that say about how you think about like the self-optimization movement and kind of the podcast landscape around like mental health? Cause it's changed a lot, you know, like there's like, I'm a beneficiary of this format of media, you know, becoming what it has become, but there's a lot about it also that's causes me a fair amount of concern.
29:39Yeah. It's certainly changed a lot. I mean, I think that's why it was sort of fun to poke fun at it through the show, but while also not rejecting it. Because truthfully, I am Josh. I do sit alone at my part of the house and listen to you and Huberman, and I'm constantly trying to work on myself, but then not really showing any fruits of that labor. Or using it to check out from the real thing. Yes, exactly. You know, like when Josh is like, I'm listening to a fucking podcast, but it's like clearly he has a crisis that he should be addressing. Exactly. Like, I think it's just like any, anything that we do as humans, it starts in earnest and, and there is great truth in it.
30:32But then, but then like it mutates, like then everything else gets involved. then there's commerce and humans, we hedonically adapt so quickly that suddenly this becomes the status quo. And then you're looking for, you get accustomed to the rhythm of, okay, I'm going to listen to my podcast, but I'm going to stay the same. And then suddenly the thing that was enacting change becomes the thing that makes you stagnant. And then you need the new thing. And again, I think that's why we keep telling the same stories around the fire. we've been telling the same stories to each other for all of time.
31:09And I think it's because we're that dumb. We hear a story, we're deeply moved, and we're like, I'm going to change starting now. And then we don't, and then we have to tell the same stories over and over again. And so I think the self-help movement, while it's helped me so much, it's going through the same reckoning, I think, that every movement does. which is growth and then stagnation and then capitalism, you know, puts its claws in and then, but then it has to adapt and change. And I think it will. Yeah. I mean, the, the sort of overarching message that I get from season two is that change, evolution, growth, like these things are possible and they're always within our grasp.
31:54We just get in our own way. Yes. And because of that, we're just playing out these loops, you know, We're fated to a certain destiny because we're stuck in a certain rut. And your samsara mandala kind of really illustrates this. Breaking free is possible. It's just very difficult. And most of us just can't do it, basically. Yeah. I mean, I certainly have it. And randomly, I was on my way to a Timberwolves game, and I was sitting next to Jay Shetty, also in this world. And we instantly became fast friends and started talking about the themes of the show. And he said something interesting about what he learned studying over in India and the Vedic texts.
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32:45And that, you know, when it comes to mountains, there's actually mountains in the East where you're not allowed to climb them. It's illegal to climb them because spiritually it's sort of like something that's a very like looked down upon to feel like you have to like climb it. Achieve something. Yeah, reach it. And really what they do is instead just kind of go around it, which is so beautiful to me. And my brain is so trained to climb mountains. and so even the act of breaking out of samsara it's like a mountain that i want to achieve and so i think season two at least for me and you know i'm speaking more overtly about it here probably then i try to be more vague in other interviews because i do want to leave the show up into interpretation but you know i know you like truly deeply get this but for me like the feeling of being trapped in samsara can be so suffocating at times that it is truly the root of my mental health struggles.
33:45I feel like this thing is a prison and I just want to break out. And I used to want to break out in a very detrimental way through self-harm. And now it's almost the opposite side of the same coin where it feels like a mountain where I'm like, okay, if I work on myself, if I do this, if I do that, then like, okay, I got to climb this mountain and break out. And season two for me was trying to learn to accept that like, hey, it's okay to just go around the mountain. Not only is it okay, that's actually the solution. Like the sort of striver's approach to like, I am going to achieve, you know, like my mental health is applying the problematic aspect of yourself to the problem.
34:29You know what I mean? Instead of like, actually, if you just let go and not approach it like it's a goal to be achieved, you're more likely to begin to inhabit the solution. It's so counterintuitive, but it's so correct. Steven Yeun had a Ursula K. Le Guin quote that was a big North Star for beef, where she says, to oppose something is to maintain it. and yeah that letting go is actually the thing yeah but we we keep forgetting yeah my wife always says uh if you're if you're fighting against something like even for good reasons like you're an activist or you're you know applying yourself to resolve you know you have a cause like you're still fighting yes you know and that's the that's sort of the the brain pretzel of it all the conundrum.
35:21Well, and I think that's, Alan Watts talks about it a lot with that concept of wu-wei, of how do you feel where the natural momentum is in life and sort of like use it against itself. Like you can like, in activism, you can fight right up against it. It usually causes more friction, but how can you actually like judo the thing that you're up against? And I tried to apply that just in writing and in my collaborations. Oftentimes with networks, you can get into a standoff and they're like, don't get a script. And then suddenly you're like, just, all right, I'm going to dig my heels in. And that's never worked.
36:07It usually ends up where you have to, at the end of the day, lose because they're ultimately the network or you end up in this weird compromise that neither party likes. but I think you can learn to judo it where you can like take their fervor of notes and why they're saying the notes and try to like use that to your advantage and be like well I'm on the same team as you I want what you want but here like come over here let me show you like a different way to achieve that and let's talk about it together and then suddenly they're actually doing exactly the thing that you wanted it just it required a little a different angle right right right element has been with this show for a very long time but it has been really fun to watch them expand first into sparkling cans and now into something brand new lemonade iced tea which is now the newest edition and my morning go-to in my home gym and what i've noticed by incorporating this into my routine is a reduction in my coffee consumption something i confess to drinking more than I should, often because coffee does a pretty good job of quieting the signal that my body is tired.
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39:46I want to get into your career path, but you mentioned your mental health journey. And I kind of want to start there. Like, you've been pretty transparent about your struggles with depression and how your personal life experiences find their way into the beef. narratives like when did that start for you and how do you make sense of what caused it you know i mean i i do therapy every week and you know i'm still trying to unravel it all but uh yeah i think it started at a very young age um uh i i think i remember like in sixth grade i started like just devouring CS Lewis because I wanted to make sense of this and and I think part of it is you know I moved around a lot I moved every three to four years of my life and I love my parents so much and you know they did so much to give us a better life but then also you know we were constantly on the move and also you know and i think part of that is they were sort of chasing a uh sense of happiness that would always go awry and then they try to clean slate it every three to four years and so like home never felt like a safe space to me um uh and again like i know my parents might watch this so like I do love them and they did create safety in many ways but for a variety of factors I think emotionally I home wasn't safe there's this one line that Ali Wong says at the finale of season one where she says where nowhere feels like home you just go inward and that started really really young and I think also as a Korean kid kind of moving up and down the Midwest not having a sense of home with your family and you don't feel at home in society, then you really feel alone.
41:52Like, I just remember for at such a young age, like truly understanding like loneliness. And back then, I think loneliness felt like a thing to solve. Like again, the mountain where like, I need to fill it with this. I need to like find connection this way. I need to throw myself into music or, you know, also, I think for a lot of people my age, that's when the internet was invented. And I think a lot of guys my age, then we like also, you know, it was like suddenly access to porn, you know, and then that becomes like a thing that you scratch the itch with. So I was always kind of like finding, trying to find these crutches that would eventually collapse and then that would just make me more depressed and more depressed because there's always just emptiness on the other side of them well i think eventually we all have to grapple with the fact that like i mean i wrote a lot of this into the finale of season one that i think the world is the way it is because we're just an extension of god like like and i say god in a sort of a loose sense, like we're the branches of a tree and that tree is everything.
43:15So it is alone. Like God is alone in nothingness and we are just working itself out through this eternal process. And I think we all have to grapple with the fact that we're alone. But we've created all this as an illusion to like, feel not alone. But then this is all that word, lila, divine play. It's a play. It ends. And then you have to grapple with the fact that it's just - We're operating in our Maya. And in the same way that music and story structure works in this rise and fall method, we craft these identities, archetypal identities to help us make sense of who we are and where we fit in.
44:04And that's just a story and an illusion as well that we think makes us feel more connected, but actually becomes an obstacle. And you're somebody who has this incisive ability to deconstruct the generational divide, and you do it explicitly in season two with the difference between millennials and Gen Z, but it comes full circle to say, it doesn't really matter. We're all just becoming our parents and doing the same thing. You can be under this illusion for a little while, and then the older you get, you realize there really isn't the difference that we think there is. Yes. Yes. It's why the finale was titled, It Will Stay This Way and You Will Obey, which is based on a Marianne Woodman quote.
44:49That is literally like, I think it starts with like, old mother God, old father God, you have trapped us here. Yeah, it's like this feeling that, like you said, it doesn't matter. The four seasons are going to come for you. I love talking to you about the finale because you're sort of the first person who explicitly is getting all the things that we put down. But we also ultimately wanted to leave that final shot really open-ended and a blank canvas for the audience. Because I don't know that, I know if I watched that in my 20s, I wouldn't really be speaking of it like this. I would probably be speaking of it as more of like a negative ending which I have found amongst my like Gen Z peers when they watch the show they have a very different takeaway than when my 40 something friends watch the show and I'd imagine boomers who watch the show also take away something different and I think that's the beauty of Samsara is that as you go around the mountain every time you go around you're feeling and thinking something different Yeah.
45:55Far be it from me to demand the artist explain his work. I don't want to put you in that position. But I think that you walked a tightrope in ending it in the way that you did because you don't want to leave the audience with this cynical feeling about their fate. and you do a beautiful job of threading that needle by leaving us with some hope. But I do think, yeah, it is, the interpretation is on the beholder and that's gonna depend upon your lot in life and your set of unique life experiences and your age as well. And so it's this interesting combination of timeless, like if you go back and watch season two, 10, 15 years later, you're gonna interpret it differently because you've matured into a different, you know, kind of period of your life, season of your life, but it's also terminally online.
46:49You know, you have this ability to really understand like youth culture and their relationship to the internet in this very authentic way that doesn't feel like patched on by a boomer. You know, it's like, this is, you are conversant in a way that I think that is another reason why audiences are responding to it because it just feels so real. Oh, thank you. I think it's unfortunately due to me being terminally online and I need to stop. I've been researching for like six months. I don't know if you found something where I really don't want to have my phone anymore. and there's all these new gadgets where like you can have the phone in the other room and it's just like a brick that you can just access Spotify, things like that.
47:33But then I just haven't found the right thing and then I end up getting my phone and the next thing I know, I'm reading every single negative comment about the show that exists online. Still. Oh, I like did it yesterday. Oh, you did. Yeah, it's become almost like a daily routine and I need to stop. But I think, you know, then I try to take that spirit and then put it into the work. And then hopefully other people who are terminally online will relate. But yeah, I'm hoping the next project I do, I'll have reached that goal of being less online. And you can feel it in the work. Yeah, it's almost like we need a new Maslow's hierarchy of needs that takes into account our relationship with the digital world.
48:22Oh my gosh. Have you seen that Adam Curtis documentary, Hypernormalization? I haven't. I think he's the most brilliant documentarian alive. And if you haven't seen The Century of Self, that's so up your alley. It literally goes through pre-World War to now and how we've basically created this century of self. And it really comes down to three people that started it. And he did this other documentary, I think in 2016 called Hypernormalization that just has spot on predicted what the internet has done to us. And then yet, like we were talking earlier, I watch it, I feel moved, and then I get my phone and I go to Reddit.
49:10What do you think is the fulcrum between understanding and behavior change? I was hoping you would tell me. Yeah. Well, I mean, this is a question I ask everyone because it's a confounding one. People change when they are ready to change, when they're visited with some degree of willingness. And pain is always the obvious motivator. Yeah. But you usually take something, depending on what part of your life is rigid and how rigid it is, I find that it's like the more calamitous of an event, the more you're able to shake up the pattern. But it's tough because I think as we get older, especially if you have privilege, you start to create a life that doesn't have any of those earthquakes.
50:03like Josh's monologue in episode six after doing Bufo where he talks about his inability to change. I wrote that in like two minutes. It just came pouring out of me because I do feel that sometimes where, like I don't know when the tipping point is, but in your 20s and 30s, you keep feeling like, oh, I'm gonna work on that. I'm gonna change. Like, I feel it, but it's not that big of a problem yet. And I'm going to work on it tomorrow. And then you blink and then it's become who you are. And suddenly it feels like you are unable to change at all. And that window closes so fast, at least in my experience.
50:55And I do wish, I kind of love that Josh is giving that advice to Austin and then Austin applies it to something so small. Like, have you ever found someone else attractive while you're with? But I remember older people giving me that advice in my 20s and me registering it, but then still you can't. You know, and I think that's why so many religions, I think the people who started those Abrahamic religions are literally just us having this podcast, but like in the desert having eaten some, you know, psychotropic, like, you know, root. And then they are thinking these things and then their solution was like, well, that's why you got to pray every day.
51:44That's why you have like these daily routines. We're just going to write a bunch of rules because you need strict rules to be able to offset everything we're talking about. And then I think in modern life, I went to Korean church when I was growing up and I don't as much anymore. We need a new set of modern rules, which I think is why self-help podcasts have become such a thing. Yeah, it's secular religion. This obsession with self-optimization, but it plays into the hyper-individual, kind of like the prioritizing the individual self above everything else, which loses sight of the best of what religious traditions teach us, which is it's about togetherness.
52:34It's about the oneness. Yes. But we're operating in our identities and our illusion. And you're a storyteller. I mean, my theory on this is that there's nothing more powerful than a story well told. And we're very vulnerable to these stories. And we craft stories about who we are, like a version of like, we have this sense of like, I am this person. I do these things. This is who I am. I can't do this and I can't do this. it's just a story. We could rewrite that story at any time, but we don't. We buy into it and we believe it. And we then get stuck in these patterns of behavior that just play that story out again and again and again.
53:21And we basically imprison ourselves through storytelling. I was thinking about it the other day of the shapes that we were talking about. When you think about kind of old shamanic cultures, or even like, you know, you listen to like Tibetan monk music, there's no shape. They're just vamping on one note. You know, it's just this the whole time. And the stories they told weren't like rises and falls. It was just the story about a flower. And, you know, it is sort of a mirror, like you're saying, like it's almost this recursive feedback loop that we're stuck in where again the cycles too of of we were trying to chase change so then we the storytelling mirrors change and we have the status quo rise fall rise and then and then we get addicted to that and then and then suddenly it was just we see rise fall rise so then we do rise fall rise and then and i would love to get to a point where narratively it's so hard with like how streaming works now but i love to get to a point where narratively like you could just sort of vamp you know like that's kind of what like uh you know link ladder used to do uh in his early work he'd just be vamping there's no there's no structure to slacker yeah yeah i mean the best you know um but for some reason we're we're collectively not there yet but i mean maybe it does take someone doing that uh and trying to incite that change in culture but but then it's tough you know as a filmmaker i'm like oh i would love to make a slacker then you can't yeah but then marvel knocks on your door and says uh are you interested in x men and then you're 55 years old and you know you you're living this big life and you're like why would I risk this to go make my version of Slacker?
55:22Oh, totally. I mean, that's exactly what happened. I did uncredited work for Thunderbolts for my friend, Jake Schreier, who I work with a lot. And I remember telling my reps and all my friends, I'm like, just remind me that I'm not going to do blockbuster movies again. No knock on Marvel. And then next thing you know, they're like, hey, we have X-Men. I'm like, I'll do it. But Jake is involved in that. He is. He is the director. He is the director, yeah. I mean, I love working with Jake, but then also if Jake were doing another Avengers, I probably wouldn't do it, but it's X-Men. I grew up on X-Men.
56:01That's my favorite thing ever. My dad and I used to wake up Saturday mornings and watch the animated series together. So it's really hard to say no to that because then I think about my childhood me. Like, how am I going to go back in time and tell that kid that, yeah, we got offered X-Men. This is not true to my artistic, there's a hubris in being like, no, I'm not doing that because I need to make slacker. Yeah, exactly. You probably can't say very much about X-Men, but can you report on where you are in the cycle of this movie getting made? Yeah, I mean, we've been working on a draft. Joanna Callow and I, who's also a frequent collaborator.
56:46She co-show runs and co-directs The Bear. There's a lot of internet stuff about casting. And that is true. Marvel is casting right now. And Kevin, Jake, and Lou read a draft of ours. I think they're super excited. We're in the middle of rewriting that draft. And what I love about Kevin Feige, and I've just grown to admire him more and more. There's a reason he is running Marvel for as long as he is. He has incredible instincts and a true childlike joy in the work. It really is play when you get in a room with him. And so that's been really a surprisingly fun part of this. I was sort of dreading going back into the blockbuster world, But I didn't interact with Kevin as much on Thunderbolts, but on X-Men, it's like every single meeting he's a part of, every single writing session he's a part of.
57:50And his joy is so contagious that getting to do that and remember that what I get to do is play at the end of the day has been a nice perspective reshift for me. Well, it's an interesting moment for Marvel. Oh, yeah. We're having this kind of epic original IP moment right now, which is fantastic. You just can't even get a ticket to see the Odyssey and IMAX for like weeks. It's really exciting and fun and cool. And we're also seeing the maturation of these younger filmmakers, back rooms and obsession. Things are shifting in a good and super interesting way right now, but it changes the audience's relationship with legacy IP, what Marvel has been so good at.
58:43And now it's a little bit different. I think the stakes are pretty high. Very high. And maybe that's why Kevin Feige is showing up at all the meetings. Do you feel that pressure? They need a win. Kevin's very self-aware and he'll joke about it for sure. but I think that's why he's been so supportive of taking big swings with X-Men and not thinking plot first but character first which is kind of a no brainer like that's like writing 101 is of course character first but I think with success again like what we were talking about like every movement starts in earnest just like Marvel did and then it stagnates and then capitalism comes in and then it has to evolve.
59:32And I think Marvel is evolving. I got to see an early cut of Spider-Man, a brand new day, and it's fantastic. It's really, really good. Like Destin knocked it out of the park. And so I think there is a turning of the cycle happening over there. Well, it's a gigantic conglomerate corporation. And like any maturation of any company, at some point they're going to be disrupted unless they disrupt themselves. But you can kind of cave in under the weight of your largesse. Yeah. And that's like the life cycle of every big company. Yeah. I think they were very smart. They had scaled too much and too fast, in my opinion, with all the TV shows and things like that.
1:00:20And I think Kevin very smartly has like, all right, Like, let's, let's, let's like, you know, filter out some of the noise and get back to what we're very good at. I'm just kind of one small cog in that giant process. And I think Joanne and I are just trying to do right by these characters and inject some depth. There's a lot of Venn diagram, I think, with Beef Season 2 from a bird's eye view, you know. So I think hopefully audiences will feel that.
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1:02:23One of the things I love about Rivian is the way they fill their vehicles with so much amazing high-performance technology, but always make sure it feels like second nature, that it keeps that human touch. And a great example would be the haptic halo wheels on the new R2. On either side of the steering wheel, there's a dial that you can roll, push, and pull to adjust things like the AC or skip to the next song. And they have this incredibly satisfying tactile feel because you're really clicking a button and rolling a mechanical wheel. I was recently able to drive an R2 with RJ Scringe, the founder and CEO, and he shared the thinking behind this cool and unique feature.
1:03:02So walk me through the thinking on that because as technology is sort of informing this screen-only experience, there is something in the human animal that craves that kind of tactile control. Yeah, and that was part of what the logic was here. And that was from the feedback we had in R1, is the desire for some more mechanical touch points and also the ability to not have to use the multi-touch screen for everything. And so being able to do HVAC through this side, your entertainment through that side, you also have drive modes in you as well. There are just so many features packed into this vehicle.
1:03:39You can learn all about them, watch the rest of our conversation, and even book a demo drive at stories.rivian.com slash richroll.
1:03:53I was thinking about Ashley and Austin and their relationship dynamic, because there's so much like relationship stuff going on. New love, matured love, old love. What do relationships mean? What is the definition of love for different people at different stages of their life? And on Reddit, there's like a lot of hand-wringing around the Ashley character. Oh, so much. It's really like a lightning rod for people. And I think that's also a lens into somebody's generational perspective. Like depending upon how old you are, you're gonna have a certain opinion of that character. Totally. And what's generating her bad behavior or what's creating sympathy for the way that she's behaving.
1:04:36Yeah, we talked a lot about that as we were writing and even in the edit, because most of the network and people, chiming in on notes on the show are, you know, elder, millennial, Gen X or older, and they have a very specific lens upon how they're viewing these characters. But then I, we'd often have to like remind everyone, like intentionally we are crafting the show so that, you know, Gen Z can have a different experience watching this show than millennials do and vice versa. But it has been surprising to me, like the degree to which Ashley is such a lady. Yes. But, you know, I think if we're all being honest, like, you know, at least for me, I don't want to speak for everybody, but there, there are so many aspects of Ashley that are, have been in my psyche, whether in the past or currently, you know?
1:05:33And I think maybe that's why it's so triggering is just like she is the most overtly like uh like a part of myself that i don't like um and then you see it and then you have to protect yourself as a viewer because you're like that's not me and i'm gonna just hate her then you know um but i think if we're being honest uh her behavior is triggering because there's some truth in there yeah there's something about yourself that you're unhappy with that's being reflected in this character like if you're upset about that, it's probably because you're compartmentalizing or in denial about some aspect of your own behavior that's being mirrored in that character.
1:06:14Like when I look at her, I see my mother, you know, like this is a person, to me, it's very clear. Like she has, like both of them have attachment issues. She is an avoidant, you know, or she's an, she hasn't, she's anxious attachment and he is an avoidant, you know, and of course they're together. Like, you know, it's like archetypal, right? And so, yeah, they're behaving this way. Like, this is my mother and my father. And it's upsetting to me because like, it's making me relive that dynamic, you know? Yeah. She is for sure anxious attachment. And I'd be curious, like, if there's, I wish Netflix had like data that was like, you know, this percentage of avoidant viewers found Ashley despicable.
1:07:01I am curious, if you have anxious attachment, are you more inclined to relate to Ashley or do you like her less? I think if you're an anxious attachment person, then you're going to sympathize with her. You're going to understand why she's behaving that way. Yeah, I hope so. They both suffer trauma that make them this way. Exactly. It's like you can sympathize with what caused them to behave in this way, whether you disagree with their behavior or not. Which is why we wrote her backstory the way it was. A lot of it was influenced by some of Kaylee Spaney's backstory. Not one-to-one, but the soup of discussions led to this backstory of someone who Ashley's mom wasn't around.
1:07:46Her mom and dad split when they were young. And then the dad started a new family and the mom just is not really around. And so then you have, I'm sure for Ashley as a child, her parents split, her dad's got a new family. So then there must be this need to like, okay, I want to still be a part of a family. Like, you know, I need a people please. I need to, do they still like me? Like, I imagine at a young age that started. And so, you know, we try to show not tell in our show of, you know, we have that backstory. There's that hallucinatory moment, nightmare in the hospital with the mom phone call as we try to leave some breadcrumbs to get the audience to hopefully have empathy for why she is the way she is.
1:08:37but there seems to be definitely a certain subset of the beef viewership that like rejects that backstory and it's like she has been rejected by the people who were meant to love and nurture her yeah and so she is going to do everything in her power to create stability and a feeling of connection and anything that threatens that is an existential threat to her life and so she's gonna respond violently to that yeah exactly and i think that's why she's hanging on so tightly to this relationship it's not even about austin at the end of the day she just can't he's just a vehicle for exactly yeah her i don't think she can emotionally process the grief of losing this crutch that replaced the original hurt and for austin who you know is avoidant I think when he's faced with the fact like, oh, I'm going to go chase Eunice, who is also being now being avoidant with me, that doesn't feel good for an avoidant because they actually secretly like this chase of an anxious person coming at them because they're avoidant, they get to be the avoider.
1:09:50Then suddenly avoidant is faced with an avoidant. And then I think in the finale, he has to reckon with, wait, I don't think this person actually loves me back. I don't love Ashley, but she is at least dependable in the sense that I can depend on her to be anxiously attached to me no matter what. So he does the safe, I guess, not courageous thing in some regards. Charles Melton, I think in embodying Austin, actually, I think he views the ending as courageous in some ways, as almost as he, that his character realized that he has to be an adult and in order to have a family and a career. And he's actually making a mature choice for once to buy into adulthood.
1:10:41That's one take on it. But I think for me in that moment in the cab, Austin is kind of going back to the familiar. It is a tragic choice because he's making it with a degree of self-awareness. He understands why he's making this decision and he's still making it. But that archetype will also rationalize it by saying, well, they're sacrificing themselves for this other person and there's something beautiful about that. And that's true. It was curious to me when Austin, Charles Melton's character, he just is so good at playing the kind of somewhat dim-witted but sweet guy. You want him to win. You're cheering for him.
1:11:26But he's just kind of like – he's not dealing with a full deck all the time. But then when it comes to diagnosing Ashley, he just nails it as if he was young himself. And I'm like, that feels sort of inconsistent with this character that you've established. But then I think, well, he's always going on Reddit and getting answers. Does he just memorize? Is that the idea there, that he just went there and found this thing and recited it? Yeah, we try to sort of breadcrumb, even from the first episode, someone who, like you're saying, goes on Reddit, reads all the smart things. and he references also like self-help and love advice all the time.
1:12:09So, you know, again, we're trying to write what we know and feel true to real life. Like I do that for sure. Like so many writers in the room do that where like we'd be like talking about something in the writer's room and someone would be like, oh, hey, I read that blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. I'm like, did you read it or did you see an Instagram post? And they're like, I saw a post. And I'm like, and do you have anything else to add to that? Or is that like the end of your knowledge? And I think that's just all of us right now as we have a very like cursory, superficial relationship with the amount of self-help stuff coming at us.
1:12:49And so I think Austin's been doing that all season and he's probably been in conversations with his mom and conversations on Reddit, started to get a sense of how he feels about Ashley. But then being an avoidant, he hasn't expressed it. And then finally at the end, it just kind of all comes pouring out. I've definitely done that too, where I certainly am not a psychologist, but I will see an article, I'll be like, oh, that's this person, gonna mentally clock that. And then I just hold it and hold it in, in some fight and I just like drop the bomb. But I have no like actual like knowledge or like, I'm not in a position to be giving that diagnosis.
1:13:40So, you know, we were trying to kind of stay true to, you know, what a lot of us I think experience in real life. You also stayed true to the way that young people actually use their phones and the internet, Like a lot of sort of texting and that sort of thing in television shows and movies feels tacked on for exposition reasons. But here it's so germane to the characters and the advancement of the plot that it just becomes like it's a feature, not a bug, you know, in the way that you do it. So I thought it would be interesting to hear your thoughts on like what is the difference between, in your mind, like Gen Z and millennials?
1:14:22millennials? How do you define that divide or that delta? Oh, man, that's a great question. I find that, and I don't want to speak too generally because then I know I'm going to spend an evening reading the negative comments to what I'm about to say. You got to stop doing that. I do, yes. And I think millennials tend to use social media to be very presentational. It's more about like, how do I use this vehicle to then like create a certain image that can then funnel back into my ego? and I think Gen Z because they maybe they started doing that similarly at a younger age but then at this point I feel like Gen Z is more like using social media to like get what they want you know rather than like it's like millennials are like we're like outwardly seeking into the void of the internet to hopefully get something back whereas Gen Z is like no I want money so I'm going to create content to then get money.
1:15:37I don't like, sure. Like it's nice to get likes and blah, blah, blah. But at the end of the day, I want this. So I'm going to use this means to get it. Whereas I still see millennials, like I don't see as many millennials like content creating, but they certainly are producing just as much content, but to just feel good about themselves. For external validation reasons. Yeah. I think that's, again, my observation. I hope I don't like painting in broad strokes because the internet gets mad. But that tends to be what I see. Yeah. That's super interesting. I'm an elder Gen X. No Gen X in season two.
1:16:23You skipped over this. This is my thing. This is my beef with not just this season of beef, but like in general, like we get lumped in with boomers. It's like everything's okay, boomer. And I was like, dude, we're the coolest. Why did everyone forget this? Well, what? I fully agree. We got erased from the record. I'm 81. So I am elder millennial Gen X cusp. And I do think that Gen X is the greatest generation. But I fully agree. Gen X just kind of gets lost. And honestly, Oscar Isaac is Gen X. Like he is not, like in real life, he is not elder millennial. And there's a time when we were writing where we're like, oh, should we like stay true to real life and have like Carey Mulligan be elder millennial and Oscar Isaac be Gen X?
1:17:11But then just in theme, it felt cleaner to just be like, it's elder millennial versus Gen Z. So that's how Gen X got cut out of this one. But it is interesting. I do, like spiritually, I relate to Gen X the most because being cusp where the late 90s and early 2000s was very like the most influential for me. You know, like late 90s music is like what I live and breathe. And, you know, early Linklater, like Reality Bites, singles, like that was so formative. uh but um but yeah we i don't know if it's just because like gen x is uh like when you when you think about those movies and that music it's it spiritually it doesn't feel like an energy that like doth protest too much you know what i mean like it's like it's like literally like slackers you know it's just like but that's the whole sensibility of gen x you know what i mean just sort of like whatever.
1:18:15Yeah. So of course, as you get lost as a generation, it's just like, because we didn't raise our hands enough, I guess. But there is this great 90s nostalgia moment right now that is impacting Gen Z. Like Gen Z seems very affectionate in their kind of nostalgia for the 90s. I think the same thing is happening because the Gen X was a response to to Reagan era, very corporate buttoned up Christian ideology. And then of course the generation after was like, no, thank you. We're gonna break all those rules. And I think Gen Z feels that way. It's like the next cycle of it. They're looking at all the rules and sort of ideologies and the rigidness of what came before and being like, wait, I'm listening to Nirvana or Smashing Pumpkins and something's resonating in me because I'm going through that right now.
1:19:16And so it's really cool to see them rediscover and then also how Gen Z gravitates towards things that... The fact that Gen Z gravitates towards Deftones in a way that Gen X Deftones never got its proper due in the 90s, that's amazing. And it does give me great hope for the future. It actually truly is life-affirming to see things like this because the cycles, it's not just a circle. It feels like it's a spiral. And each time it's a little different and each time it grows and evolves and it's heading somewhere, which is nice. Yeah. I have a 19-year-old daughter and she has the most eclectic taste because she's not waiting for the new album to drop or what the radio station is gonna tell her that she should like.
1:20:09She has the entire canon of music available to her to like choose what speaks to her. Yeah. And, you know, she's like, it's like Sonic Youth and Elliott Smith. And then it's jazz. And then it's like some, you know, from the 40s. And then it's Boards of Canada, like all this cool new stuff too. And so she's like my muse for tasting culture, you know? That's so cool. Like I just think there's something really awesome about that. Yeah. Because I was just like, what's on the radio, you know, when I grew up? Totally. And so within this nostalgia for the 90s, because it was, you know, the last analog era, like I think what gets overlooked is, you know, the limitations of that.
1:20:52And that culture was sort of impressed upon us or dictated. We didn't necessarily get to define it until something like Nirvana comes along and it just becomes undeniable. Yeah, exactly. Doing season two, I did find myself becoming more aware of how I was turning into the older generation. and I think what naturally happens as millennials are hitting their 40s is it's easy to become the version of the generation that used to be above us where you're judging the next generation and you're like, oh, like these kids don't know and like back in my day, blah, blah, blah. But I love what you're saying because it's like, that's actually us as old heads talking.
1:21:40Like when you really put yourself in the shoes of the youth, like that is really cool that they can just get to pick eclectically in a way that we didn't. And I try to remind myself, I catch myself every day doing things where I'm like, oh, I sound like what a 47-year-old used to sound like to me. That's so important to try to keep your brain, your neuroplasticity from getting too rigid. And that's what I'm so excited about, raising my daughter already. Like her personality is shining through. She's walking and talking. And I can't wait to see what she likes. You know, that's so beautiful. It was a real wake-up call for me watching season two.
1:22:26I had this like realization that millennials are adults now. Like, cause I'm old enough. I'm like, oh, there's millennials are the young generation, you know? And I was like, wait, Oscar Isaac. Yeah. Okay. Maybe he's young ex, but he's portraying a character, like a mature grownup character who is a millennial. And I was like, wow, I'm old. Yeah. Because I remember when we were just lamenting the millennials as like lazy and not wanting to work. And now it's like Gen Z's like, hold my beer, like these tropes around like, you know, like no one wants to work hard and all that kind of stuff. Like we're just recycling these things.
1:23:01I'm sure, you know, the great generation and the boomers looked at Gen X as the ultimate slackers, you know, and now we're doing the same thing. The exact same thing. Yeah. And that's that final shot of the season. I feel like the best thing to do with these waves is to try to learn how to surf them and acknowledge the differences, but then not be so entrenched and triggered. The wave exists. And so instead of fighting it or being mad at it, it's there. It's beautiful. Let's surf the fact that this keeps happening and that each generation is repeating itself in their own way. But, you know, it's easier to say than do for sure.
1:23:55So you've been writing now for 20 years? Almost 20, yeah. Something like that? I think I moved out here 2008. Yeah, I don't understand time. Yeah. Wait till you get to be my age. It changes. your first job was in the NBC page program. Is that right? Like when was your first like break, break, you know, how long did it take before you're like, Oh, I actually think I might be able to have a career. I think it was two, two mini, one mini break. And then one big break. The mini break was getting into the NBC page program. You know, I was unemployed and just kind of temping in New York and a friend of mine, I lived in Greenpoint back then.
1:24:38And he was concerned for my mental health because I literally, Greenpoint back then was just not gentrified yet. It was fully Polish. Like you couldn't find a grocery store that was like ingredients in English, you know. And so I never left the home. I just stayed in my apartment and watched the OC over and over again. And he was starting to get very concerned about me. So he slipped my resume without me asking to his friend who was in the PAGE program. and surprisingly I got a call for an interview. I didn't take it seriously. I was 15 minutes late to the interview and somehow miraculously I got in and that was my first real exposure to the entertainment industry.
1:25:21And sure, I was like wearing a peacock tie and giving studio tours for$10 an hour, but I caught the bug. I was like, I can't believe there are jobs in this world. Out of that, I got a job at the Today Show. Truly hated it. lovely people but my hours were like 1 30 p.m to 4 30 a.m um which is the opposite of everyone so i used that weird schedule to then uh i had a writing partner back then we we just started teaching ourselves how to write we would watch shows read books and every weekend instead of going out we would sit down and you know try writing scenes together and eventually we wrote to pilot about the page program and sent it to friends.
1:26:03And one of our friends, Lynn Berry, who used to be at the Today Show, she was an assistant to Jeff Ingold, who at the time was the head of NBC Comedy. He runs Bill Lawrence's company now. And he was so gracious. He read it, called us, and was like, hey, I just bought a pilot about the page program and this script's better. Do you guys have agents? And we said no. And he's like, you know what? I'm going to call every major agency on your behalf. And suddenly we had like CAA, William Morris, Endeavor, just everyone calling us. And so we took a week off work, flew out to LA. I remember my then writing partner didn't want to do this, but I was hell bent on splurging like an extra couple of hundred dollars to rent a Mustang convertible.
1:26:50Cause I wanted to like ride around Beverly Hills with the top down and feel like you know i was in the industry and we went with the fanciest agent at the time who repped like all of the office and mindy kaling and all the scrubs writers and uh he told us to move out to la by up front which was may 15th i think and we did and then everything went to shit it was just like uh couldn't get meetings agent wouldn't return our calls and And next thing I know, I was unemployed and temping again in LA. And it wasn't until we got a new manager. Somehow, our scripts ended up on the table of Rob, Charlie, and Glenn at It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia.
1:27:37And they brought us in for a general meeting. It lasted 10 minutes. I was certain we didn't get it. And then we got the call. And that was like the true big break. So that was your first writer's room? First writer's room is my favorite show on television. I couldn't believe I was going to hang out with Rob Charlie and Glenn every day in the writer's room. They're like the nicest, best guys. Still to this day, Glenn Howerton is one of my closest friends. And that was a real 360 degree education because those guys do everything. They write, direct, act, produce. And that became like the foundation for what I do.
1:28:16I kind of joke with the beef writers room sometime that if Always Sunny and Beef are actually really similar, it's just Always Sunny is like the comedy broadness just cranked up to 12. But it's usually like something small and annoying happens. And then everyone acts out of ego on Always Sunny. And then it gets worse and worse and worse. And that's really like the formula for Beef. It's just we take the tone and just dial it down a little bit. When you're collaborating with so many people on a television show, tone is everything. And you're not, I mean, you did your first director gig in the finale of season one, right?
1:29:02And then you directed three or four episodes in season two? Four, yeah. But you're not directing every episode. You're the showrunner. You're the head writer. You're responsible for the tone. But there's hundreds of people working on this show. You have to be a general to make sure that everyone is making the same show and you can't control everything. How do you ensure that? Just so many hours of talking. And a lot of analogies I find are very helpful because it's so hard to get someone inside your brain. And so I'm just trying to always find words and analogies and formulas. Season one of The Writer's Room, I came up with a tone formula that I told the room, kind of as a joke, but then it started to get serious and we stuck to it, where I said that the beef tone should be 35 % early Paul Thomas Anderson slash Sopranos comedy where you're laughing at the broken psychology of someone, plus 35 % like Netflix bingeability, White Lotus water cooler moments like Fincher propulsion.
1:30:14plus 30 % Ingmar Bergman slash Hirokazu Koreeda warm melancholic pathos. And like the warm melancholy was key. And we had that up on our Zoom a lot. And anytime we looked at a scene, we'd kind of try to make sure like, okay, are we hitting the percentages? Like, does this scene, we just had a scene that was really propulsive. Like, should we make sure that this scene has sort of that Ingmar Bergman pathos to it? And doing season two, I just, you know, tone-wise gave that same formula to everybody. Yeah. And it feels like A24 is the only, like, home for this. There's something about A24. It's like, you know it when you see it.
1:31:01Yeah. You can't quite put your finger on it. Yeah. It is tone. It's sensibility. It's aesthetic. But it's real. It is real. I mean, there's been a lot of articles being written about how they're now just like, they're more merch than creative, et cetera, et cetera. Which, sure, I think that's just a testament to how good their marketing is. Their merch is great. But at the end of the day, the reason they have so much success is still the creative. And I think they have people, you know, Ravi Nandan, who's the head of A24 television. I actually knew him from when I worked at NBC. He was a producer on this like really broad, bad pilot that I wrote for NBC in 2009.
1:31:49And then we kind of like kept in touch over the years. And then as he got to A24, we just had sushi to get like reacquainted. and I was telling him about this road rage incident that I had gotten into. And I was like, I don't know, I think there's like a show here because like there's something so funny about being trapped in like a literal mechanical bubble and you're just like in your own subjectivity, no idea what the other person's going through. And right there, he was like, let's do that show. I was like, really? He's like, go off. Like, who do you want to have in it? I was like, well, I've always wanted to work with Steven Young.
1:32:23He's one of my good friends and we've been trying to find something together. He's like, that's brilliant. Let's attach Steven Yeun. And so there's this other places where you'd have to go through so much red tape and like, oh, that's interesting. Let's develop it. And you know, blah, blah, blah, blah. When they feel something, they move, you know? And they really trust the artist's instincts too. It's less about like them trying to prescriptively tell you what to do. It's more like, oh, you're passionate about that. Let's find ways to support it. You know, even now that there's this one idea, I mean, Ravi and I are such so close friends now, but I was on the phone with him.
1:33:01I was telling him about a project that I'm not doing with A24. And I was telling him about the world. And he was like, oh, my gosh, that's fascinating. Let me hook you up with my friend who actually runs the biggest company in that industry. And you should, like, you know, get close to him and do, like, a tour or something. like that's someone who is just acting from like a pure artistic place uh and you hear it time and time again with people who've worked with them like it's just like a it's different for sure it's definitely special uh i think people are concerned they just raised a bunch of money what does this mean you know is it going to stay the same is it going to be different you know the a24 bros uh you know they're a vocal bunch and it probably won't stay the same it'll follow the same thing we've been talking about where it'll start in earnest it'll grow it's stagnate and then they'll have to change but the fact that they like made back rooms you know like i came parsons it's like 27 year old a 64 million development deal 20 yeah like no other place would do that i think they are also evolving um and uh i i definitely like beef would not exist without about Ravi and A24, that's for sure.
1:34:19You've spoken publicly about your early experiences in writers' rooms and some of the challenges that you had and this sensibility that you were a DEI hire and kind of like, oh, well, I'm not really a writer. Walk me through that experience and then maturing out of that to kind of really inhabit your authentic voice. What did that take? What was that experience like and what did you have to do to like you know own your confidence and your voice in hindsight i i i think i get frustrated with my younger self because i you know i've relived some moments in writers rooms whether there's one show i wrote on where there was a very stereotypical asian character and a very cliche and the jokes just a hundred percent of the time came at his expense uh you know i remember there was one the showrunner of that show like there was one um joke about that asian character where it was about him eating a dog and you know half the room was appalled by it but then the other half room was cackling and the showrunner loves it and you know like he turns to me and to see how i feel and like in the moment i should have been like go fuck yourself you know like i should have like stood up for for for myself for for that character and then i just kind of like shrugged and i was like oh you know like it's funny like you know like I just kind of went along with it and there was just so many incidents like that where inside I was dying but outwardly you know you're afraid of losing your job you're afraid of and and yes like uh I I think should could I have been more uh courageous absolutely but uh I I acknowledge I wasn't in those moments.
1:36:26And, you know, I think I have to live with that. But, you know, I think a lot of writers of color, the stories that I share are just like tip of the iceberg. There's some horrible things that happen in these rooms if you're a person of color. And we kind of, the system was in a way where it was really hard to shake it up. I'm very grateful that in the last 10 years that so much progress has been made and so much change has been made and a show like Beef can exist and certainly behavior like that just will not be tolerated in today's writers rooms. But then you look out at 2026 at society at large and then it does get scary because you're like, a lot of progress has been made but then it also at times feels like we're kind of one step forward, two steps back.
1:37:22and you know speaking of generations I do admire that about Gen Z you know I think that that Instagram the social media thing is just I think a microcosm of for myself and my peers of my generation there was so much outward validation seeking you know like so you're sitting in that writer's room you hear this joke at your expense but you are outwardly seeking validation that you belong here and that, so you laugh. Versus Gen Z, what's so cool about what they're doing is they're not seeking. They're having none of it. Yeah. They're just like, no, like I'm here in this room to build my career and we're not doing that joke.
1:38:07And guys like me are like, have you earned that confidence? Like first you have to do the work and then maybe I will like, Like, you know, grant you that you should be here. Totally. But then, but that's the thing is, and like, I do find myself saying that as well. But then one of the younger writers that I have kind of like, I don't wanna say mentored, but Alex Russell, who's younger than me, I think he's Gen Z, millennial cusp. He's, the moment I met him, he has that energy where it's just like, says what he wants, knows what he wants, very, very secure in his tone. And it often ran against whatever room he was in, you know, but he didn't care.
1:38:50And I saw that and, you know, helped him get a manager. And for his debut film that he directed, Lurker, I executive produced it because I was like, that guy is going to like create something that is so uniquely him because you feel that energy of like, I don't care that you're older than me or that you're a more established producer. Like, this is what I know. and and so it's been cool to see like even though like my instinct was like okay like dude I had to like slum it in rooms for decades before I even had the opportunity but then like I process that put it aside know that there's talent there and try to like you know connect the right dots for him to you know he he eventually this amazing producer Alex Orlovsky came onto the movie and and took it to the finish line but generationally like how can we as millennials and Gen X not do the thing that the boomers did to us?
1:39:48Like, um, certainly it's normal to feel like they have to earn it, but then how, how can we change that? You know? Um, but again, easier said than done. Yeah. There's something awesome. Like I, I just marvel at a young person who's walking around just brimming with confidence, you know, it's just like, how is that possible? You know, like, I'm just like, I don't deserve like, I'm just my inner, you know, inner monologue is just like just berating me constantly well do you have your wow that's so like like how did that happen you know well have you heard the study that um there's some study that came out that your inner monologue is just one of your parents voice from a specific a year of childhood and i think that's yeah so i think we probably have similar inner monologues but probably like similar parents saying similar things.
1:40:37And I think Gen Z, a large portion of them have the opposite inner monologue because their parents were just like - Saying them they're just the best in the world. Like, yeah, I'm the best. Of course I'm supposed to be in this room. That's what I've heard my whole life. Yeah. And now as a parent, I'm like, I don't know what the right approach is. Perhaps it's the middle ground, but - Yeah, it's the pendulum. You know, it's swinging in its extremes and it has to find it, you know, its balance over time. So that's the spiral, you know, like trying to find its happy medium, I guess. Did you fall at all into the sort of gentle parenting as a response to what came before?
1:41:16Oh, 100%. Like I just, you know, it was just a free-for-all. Like I'm also like an avoidant. I don't want conflict. So like I'm not a taskmaster, you know. And I suffered at the hands of outrageous expectations that I could never meet and just this withholding of love and the idea that it's conditioned upon some degree of achievement in the world and all of that. And I wanted to alleviate that burden from my kids, but I probably have gone too far in the other direction. I don't know. But like, you also realize, because now like my kids are older, like, and you realize young when they're super young, like they are who they are.
1:42:05Like they come, like, especially when you have multiple kids and you realize how different they are, it has nothing to do with you. Yeah, yeah. Arrive like on some level fully baked and now seeing them as young adults, it's like you're still exactly the same as you were as a kid. And I think it's humbling because we have this idea as parents that it's so critical. And parenting is important. I think parenting is like to be a healthy, conscious parent is like really the most important thing you can do. Yeah. But at the same time, you also realize you're just kind of like throwing guardrails up here and there, and they're going to be who they're going to be.
1:42:43Yeah, yeah. And that sort of alleviates the anxiety of parenting a little bit. It certainly helps me a lot. Yeah. Because I feel like there was this myth of nature nurture and that it's sort of like 50-50, but it certainly sounds like it's more nature. Yeah. I mean, I go back and forth. I don't know. I think it's another Zen Cohen brain pretzel sort of thing that we're in a cycle of just trying to understand that forever. Yeah. But we don't have free will anyway, do we? So who cares? On that subject though, for a very long time, you were Sonny Lee. It's only more recently that You're putting your real birth name on your work.
1:43:36When did Sonny become your name? And when did you get to a point where you're like, no, it's Lee Sung Jin, and that's how it's going to be from now on out? I mean, I was born with the name Lee Sung Jin. And Lee is my surname. So many outlets think Jin is my surname. but I put Lee first because in Korean, the surname goes first. So that's why, you know, director Bong Joon-ho, Bong is his surname and director Bak Jung Park is his surname. So I was born with that name. And then sixth grade, when I moved from Korea to Minnesota, that's when, you know, the name became a daily issue because, you know, I had an accent and Minnesotan teachers had never seen those letters in that order before.
1:44:29And so every day in attendance, they would like add new consonants as they called out my name. You know, they'd be like, And people would laugh. I'd feel so embarrassed. And after like a couple of weeks of that, I remember I was sitting at my desk in class and there was like a paper, like an assignment and I was just staring at the name portion. And I don't know what came over me. I just wrote Sonny with an O for some reason. And it's certainly not like I had watched something with that name. I didn't just watch Godfather or something. I was just like, Sonny, that's what I'm going to go by. And I told my teacher, I told my friends, and everyone was like, that makes our lives easier.
1:45:08And I told my family. And somehow it stuck from sixth grade all the way to probably, I want to say, like 36, 37-ish. Um, and I was perfectly content going by Sonny in my career. And then I think it was 2018. I want to say that, uh, I was getting coffee at Dogtown Coffee in Santa Monica. And, um, I put in my order and they, they read your order off of your credit card name. And I'm just waiting. And I was back in sixth grade all of a sudden, cause they read it wrong. And then people around me laughed. and then I shrunk, grabbed my order and just kind of slunk out of there. And I didn't like the way that felt.
1:45:56I was like, I'm a grown man and I am reverting back to my sixth grade self because of my name. And that year, I think Parasite was coming out. I was thinking about director Bong Joon-ho and director Park Chan-wook. And when people say those three syllables, Like, one, no one's butchering their name. And two, it's just so cool sounding because they make cool stuff. And so I thought, well, if I start making cooler things and I go by my Korean name, maybe that'll help, like, offset the stigma of these, you know, Korean three-syllable names in Western culture. So I was writing on this show called Tuco and Birdie at the time.
1:46:39and I went to Lisa Hanelwald, the showrunner, and I asked her, like, hey, I know it's probably an ordeal because you already have the credits set, but, like, can I go by Lee Sung Jin? And she very graciously, like, heard me out, and I think they went through, like, a lot of trouble to change my credits in that show, and then it kind of just stuck from there. What is the advice that you have for the young, you know, Asian-American who's trying to put their own perimeter on the world and establish themselves in whatever career it is that you know who's dealing with that that kind of identity um situation from from my observation and again don't like broad strokes but just in my experience i've found with uh this next generation there there is that pendulum thing happening like uh here as well where in response to before a lot of asian american filmmakers are are leading with identity you know i get so many younger writers when like i go to like a you know panel or something being like you know i wrote my life story because i uh you know i want i want to like i'm proud of my identity um but like no one's into it like you know what can i do Like, is it the system?
1:47:59Is it this? Is it that? And I'm like, look, that's awesome that there's so much in your life that you want to tap into, but it can't just be identity. You have to also think about craft. You have to get really good at music theory before you are a studio musician. and I think right now like a lot of younger generation and not all but some are like well you know like okay I see that in the past we didn't get to express our identity so I want to just express my identity and go hard at that without thinking about okay how do I what vessel do I put that in like it still has to be entertaining you know there still has to be rises and falls in the shape and when you ask when you kind of pointedly ask like oh like do you know about like three-act structure do you know about like hero's journey and a lot of them don't it's like well okay like instead of worrying about you know where's the tide turning at the network side uh worry about what you can control which is your craft and so i think that that's it's the balance you know the middle middle ground of of having a strong sense of identity in your work, but also not forgetting that this is also a craft-based occupation.
1:49:20There's no end run around the work part of it. Yeah. Yeah. And the idea that just because something feels important to you, it doesn't mean that it's worthy of becoming broadly entertaining to other people. Yeah. I mean, that's why season one, it wasn't just a show about Asian Americans. It was within the vessel of road rage, something that universally everyone has done. So it's just, you do have to kind of find ways to hide the kale in the smoothie, so to speak. Is there going to be a season three? You know, every season, much like I did with Thunderbolts, I'm like, that's it, I'm done. I think that's just like me processing.
1:50:04But right now at the moment, I feel like I'm done. but you know if something if inspiration strikes like sure like I can I can dust off beef but you know in the moment like I am focused on X-Men it's like such an important project and there's a couple other ideas I'm you know developing under my overall deal but you know I never say never I don't know what what tomorrow will bring yeah in the meantime you've got the Emmys coming up. I hope you win all 16 or the show wins all 16. Should be 17. Kaylee Spaney. I know, crazy. Should have been nominated. Honestly, it should be 18. Phineas too. Phineas.
1:50:45Oh my gosh, the score. We didn't even talk about him and how much the score informs the character arcs and the narrative. He did an incredible job. I think he's - And it just meets the moment perfectly. He's such a brilliant composer. I only want to work with him going forward. and I think it is I was shocked that him and Kaylee did not get nominated but you know it is what it is and I think the work speaks for itself like both her and his score like it's something that I think will be timeless. It seemed like he really liked working with you. I love the podcast that you do with the show. There's a lot of television show companion podcasts.
1:51:26Most of them are terrible. Yours is really good like you're a natural at this It feels like, you know, everyone that comes on is like wanting to be there and the stories are fantastic. So, you know, for anyone who has enjoyed Beef, you have the opportunity to do that deep dive. If you haven't checked out Beef, you're probably not still listening because you won't even know what we were talking about, but you should go watch it as soon as possible. And this was a delight, man. Likewise. Thank you so much. I'm such a fan and I just think, you know, you're just operating at an entirely different level, like mad respect and I just enjoy it.
1:52:05And I can go back and watch it and find more things and the richness of it, you know, is really special. Oh, thank you so much. Thank you. So come back and talk to me again. And if you ever want to screen anything here. Oh, absolutely. Yeah. Yeah. It would be really fun to do a Q &A or something like that with you. Oh, yeah. I would love that. Let's do it. All right, man. Thank you. Thank you. Peace. Thank you.
From the publisher
Lee Sung Jin is the Emmy-winning writer, director, and showrunner of Beef, and is now co-writing Marvel's X-Men.
We discuss his backstory, the Jungian shadow work underneath the show, the specificity with which he constructs these characters and the universality piece that comes out of it, the worst year of his life and the scene it produced, and the name he spent twenty-five years under.
The overarching message is that change, evolution, growth are possible and always within our grasp. We just get in our own way.
Lee is operating at an entirely different level. Enjoy!
Show notes + MORE
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