Millie Bobby Brown Is Ready For Life After Eleven

0:09This is The Run Through. I'm Chomenadi and we're back from our holiday break with a very special episode with Millie Bobby Brown. Millie is in a moment of transition after playing Eleven in the Netflix hit show Stranger Things for a decade of her life that chapter is closing and she's finding herself in a new era Millie was our December cover star for British Vogue and we took pictures of her on a farm outside London with tons of animals and we talked to her about exactly that parallel life that she lives in Georgia with an amazing farm and about becoming a new mom and her gorgeous little girl.

0:51The run-through will be back in a moment.

1:05You come to the New Yorker Radio Hour for conversations that go deeper with people you really want to hear from, whether it's Bruce Springsteen or Questlove or Olivia Rodrigo, Liz Cheney, or the godfather of artificial intelligence, Jeffrey Hinton, or some of my extraordinarily well-informed colleagues at The New Yorker. So join us every week on The New Yorker Radio Hour, wherever you listen to podcasts.

1:36Millie, it's so lovely to have you on the pod. um last time I saw you we were on a farm outside London I know and I'm on my farm now so oh are you very fitting uh it looks like it's a really beautiful day because the sun is streaming through your windows do you love being on the farm is it like your favorite place it actually is yeah I mean um I always knew I was gonna live a life with lots of animals but I guess it really takes a role of its own i've just been yeah very very very lucky actually yesterday i was um out on the farm for a few hours and mucking out the stables and cleaning the hooves and braiding all the hair i have three ponies and a horse um all have very very fun hairstyles um but yeah it's just like it's my safe place actually it's funny my husband came out and saw me out there and he's like you actually look like a boy like I literally like I put my hair up I put a hat over myself I just like five layers of coke I'm just like gloves on and and in it um and I'm just it's just my safe place um and uh anytime I hurt myself or need a break from the world this is just my peace and tranquility so I heard that you have 25 farm animals and that they have very coordinated names and some have um celebrity names is that true i love that there's one called cardi b yes so the goat um i wanted to do like the greatest of all time so like that was kind of my i guess my theme for the goats were cardi b slick rick oh my god good choice slick rick is a british british rapper guys you know she's he's originally from the uk right and then um and then eminem um so those are like the the four kind of main i have boy goats most of the time but so those are those are them but cardi b is like the most the friendliest goat you'll ever meet she thinks she's a dog um and then with the donkeys i did donkeys and cows i did bee names so it would be bernard bessie barbie and betty um and then the two donkeys had a baby and i named her florence because a fan uh i spoke to on the phone on actually a radio show um a little girl asked me to name my next animal after her name so i said of course so it was my um them and then i have the spice girls which are named off uh my chickens that are named after the spice girls um and then And my sheep, my sheep are just random names.

4:20I mean, I met, I had, I basically raised all my sheep in my bed. So I have Norman and then Lammy, which her name is Nancy, but Jake and I like, you know, I just have a nickname takes over on it and it says her name is Lammy now. And then we have Jesus, which, which my Norman needed to go and have surgery. And in the hospital, he made friends with another sheep called Jesus and they fell in love. And so then they were like, basically, you have to either take Jesus or Jesus's owners has to take Norman. So I took Jesus. So now Jesus is best friends with Norman. And then my ponies are all rescues.

5:00They were left on the side of the street. I have two goats called Thelma and Louise, but they were left on the street. And so I called them Thelma and Louise because they basically ran away together and they're besties. So there are horses named Frank. So it's a real array of names there. But I'm so close with all of them. I mean, on the shoot, we had quite a few farm animals who you didn't know. And I was really impressed how quickly you got to know them and how easy you were with the animals. But I just can't imagine that it can be that easy to look after so many animals. And it sounds like you do really enjoy it.

5:44So when you do have a day to devote to being on your farm, what does a typical day being on the farm look like? It used to be like a pretty, like a later start. Like I would usually go on the farm around noon because the animals tend to themselves. They have everything they need. They have endless amounts of hay. They have fresh water supply constantly running. They have sheds with heat as if they were to get cold. So they really do take care of themselves. but um i usually go out now having a daughter who wakes up at 7 30 in the morning that's not too bad she's a good sleeper no no it's by the way i'm waking her up at 7 30 in the morning she's an angel i know i'm very lucky does she sleep through the night now sleeping through the night 12 hours stop it i know i can't believe that angel um i know she is she values her sleep just like I do.

6:42So I was very grateful. I was going to say, you look very refreshed for a new mom. I know. I wasn't the first month. I definitely wasn't. But slowly but surely, you just listen to your baby and you listen to one. And she needs sleep. So I respect that. So I wake up at 7.30, tend to her, usually, you know, give her food, get her dressed and ready. And then once I put her down for her first nap around 9 30 um she goes to bed for about two hours so jake's in the house and i go out on the farm um i have basically like four different pastures so i start off with the pony forces and really tend to more of like their maintenance which is cleaning their hooves um brushing them out and then i go on to the farm to the left side of the farm which is where the chickens and sheep and goats are and i usually just check they're okay like you know you always want to notice if they're limping or if they're acting weird or if they're losing weight or gaining weight you know I I see them all the time so for me like it didn't take me long to realize my donkey was pregnant like I immediately went and got the ultrasound machine and checked her and I saw um I saw ribs and I said Jake those are not her ribs those are those are a baby's ribs um so I do you know I'm suspecting my cow's pregnant right now actually um gaining a lot of weight I mean did acquiring these animals 25 animals was this a plant or something that just happened gradually or something you've always wanted to do to have definitely moving into my house I was like this is this has got the potential of being a farm but I originally started because we had a really bad coyote problem and I have a lot of dogs so I googled online and it's like well natural deterrence as uh donkeys and i'm like i'm not going to kill these coyotes i know what they're doing you know i mean i i know what they need for me but i can't give them my dogs so um and i was so i naturally i was like i'm not going to do like an electric fence or anything like that so i just i got this donkey in hopes that they would go away and they did um and i've never seen them since so after you get a donkey they go you can't have a donkey one donkey without really getting another one because they get depressed i'm like okay i'll get another donkey so i got another donkey and then i was like you know what um jake got me three goats for my birthday and then i after the goats i fell in love with them and i was i really want scottish highlands so i got scottish highlands then i got um the sheep and then i was wait scottish highlands are they a breed yeah they're fluffy cows i've never okay i don't even see like a really fluffy please hold googling googling yes i know i'm like if you haven't seen them fluffy cows yeah okay wow you see them yes i see them now oh my god they're so cute they are really cute here let me show you my baby um my beautiful picture i don't know if you can see that oh my goodness guys this this is the most beautiful fluffy cow that you've ever seen so yeah and i think once you really just start to slowly get started you're like okay i love this i wanted to ask you because on set you were texting with ray and i was it was really sweet because you were both you both had vogue covers within a really short time um and i didn't know that you were friends how did you two meet how did you get close i met ray at the jonathan Ross show um for the first time I was a huge fan of her music but um obviously we'd never connected before then so we met I just loved her energy I really liked how sweet she was how funny how real she was and I was like I really think I would get along with her so we did we exchange numbers then we might have exchanged numbers then and then we always stayed in touch since then um and then I was getting married and I reached out to her and said okay listen I know this is crazy and you can absolutely say no um would you ever consider performing at my wedding um because your voice is beautiful our wedding is in Italy we are playing a lot of Frank Sinatra and it's just going to be kind of that old italian wedding soundtrack i mean that's kind of like what we wanted so she was like absolutely um and she performed and it was the most amazing experience ever she she performed um and the way you look tonight um with my dad um for our dance um and then she performed some stunning songs um and then it was probably a set of gosh I don't even know how many so I was honestly just so in awe I was just stood there watching everybody was dancing I just couldn't take my eyes off of her I was feeling so grateful and I actually got up with her and we sung Valerie together oh my god yeah and then um and then she just got to enjoy the wedding and we were really just so grateful that she was able to be there and do it and ever since we have stayed in touch um and you know she comes to dinner and she's just she's just a real one like i just can't everything that she is receiving is so deserving because she's a good person she takes care of the people around her um and people like that just deserve the utmost love and praise and success so i'm very lucky to be her friend yeah she seems like she's she's an amazing person to have as a friend what what would you say she's like as a friend she is oh gosh she's a she's a listening ear like she will just sit there and listen um and she doesn't really let anything affect her so like you're telling her something and she's just like oh well that's on them like She's just always kind of like that.

12:54She's just like, you can't control what other people do or think or say. And she's just very, she kind of helps ground me, I think. It's very inspiring to see someone like that just not be affected. And that's not to say that she might, she doesn't get affected, because I'm sure she does it sometimes. But boy, does she try to keep all of that away from her. And I think that's why she's so successful, because she just surrounds herself with the people that she loves and her family. And yeah, she's a big family girl. And I think it's just it does feel like the friendship is more familial. Having heard her perform a couple of times, I can't imagine what it must have like to have her perform at your wedding because her voice literally makes me cry.

13:42Yeah, I know. I think I would have been sobbing like she's so she's she's you have amazing taste in music. she's in control i've never seen anyone know their voice more she's just she just sounds like she's in control at all times and i just i think that's such a such a technique to master i mean it sounds like you you enjoy going to concerts because i heard that you also went to the sabrina carpenter concert and was arrested by her on stage i love that she does that uh are there any musicians you love to see on stage and um but what have you been listening to lately that you've enjoyed what's on your playlist right now i mean taylor sabrina i'm just a huge pop girly um i am i love lord i've actually never seen lord in concert and i really want to go so probably her I've also never seen Adele.

14:39Yeah, I'd love to see Adele. But I love seeing, like, I've seen Ed Sheeran a bunch, and, like, I'm a huge fan of his. So for me, like, that was really cool. I've seen Beyonce a lot. I love Beyonce. Yeah, the best. Like, it's not even a concert. It's an experience. It's a communion, isn't it? It is. It's just like, take me to church.

15:02But, yeah, I mean, I do like going to concerts, but I'm never like it really like I really have to love the person to go because for me it's just a commitment you know it's a lot it's a lot of people in one place for me and that sometimes it's a bit like it's very different from being on the farm with the animals yeah yeah I've gotten a lot better I was a lot worse when I was younger um I just I would just simply just not go to things um but I think since meeting Jake really I mean I've just kind of made more of an effort because he is a very social person um and I'm somebody who's very pleased with just being at home um and cooking and hanging out so I yeah I definitely think cooking and knitting and like you know just hang yeah literally and I'm like to my friends I'm always like just come to me like come to me and we'll hang but I can't leave so it's very funny but now I do a lot more to try to maintain that as much as possible.

16:16Does he introduce you to music? Is he into music? I mean I guess comes from a music family he he um the Spotify thing that came back of like oh yeah the wrapped yeah it was like 75 year old his age and I was like what do you mean I mean mine was actually quite old too but I'm not old but mine I mean a 65 year old I clearly listened to a lot of the 60 a lot of 60s music I love that what was in your app well here's the thing my albums were pop music but i listened to the rolling stones the beatles bob dylan um grateful dead like this is a lot of what jake and i listen to together okay um so i think that's probably why it came back oh i also listened to like a lot of abba i listened to a lot of 80s music a lot but primarily 60s and 70s is more jake and i like we love to listen to that together i love that good taste good good good taste i mean i one of my highlights of the year was definitely filming the british folk intern video with you because you oh my god smashed it you were hilarious i just i mean i really think that you should consider comedy because you are because honestly the improvisation i don't know i don't know if the audience really knows this but guys millie basically improvised a lot of that script and we were just kind of like along for the ride and it was so much fun and I think it was like the most fun that we've had in the office in a long time would you ever consider like comedy is is this something like I don't tell us a bit about because I I didn't you know I don't I'm not an actor I have no no acting skills whatsoever I just about managed to play myself in that piece but I'm sort of curious to like is it something that you've thought about is is improv something that you do like I don't know I really am very curious yeah I think um well thank you for your kind words um I had the best time doing it um uh improv is a skill that that either comes naturally or you slowly learn it and and to learn it it requires a lot of confidence um like if it's innate in you then it's just like I just I sometimes I just see people and it's just innate and they just have a quick funny punchline and you're just like oh my god how did you come up with that for me I learned it like I think I went into my craft at a young age and I went into a genre um that was um drama focused and horror and sci-fi focused so it didn't allow me maybe the space as much to improvise because there's a story you really have to follow um and there's a lot of plots you have to get to the point on um however um i slowly started to bridge out of those genres and go into others and i was testing out some improv-ing in each of those which slowly started to give me the confidence to do it um you really have to leave your humility at the door because there are things that don't land that you're like that didn't make any sense but it's fine because if you work with collaborators and people that love you and support you and want the best for you then you're just playing in a space of fun and um creativity so one of those people that really helped me learn that skill was chris pratt um on our film electric state um that's where i was really able to kind of practice and harness some things and then a lot of Enola um Enola Holmes 3 I really exercise the improv and then I just did um a movie called Just Picture It where a lot of it is improvised so that is that's been a really exciting few years of me learning a new skill and I think when you guys reached out about that I was like that's gonna be really fun and I didn't I'm planning on just sticking to the script.

20:31But in the moment, I was just honestly having a great time and laughing my head off. So I thought, why not just put these in? And when I saw it, I thought, oh, my God, you've kept in a lot of my improv. And I thought you were going to cut it all out. I didn't know what. Oh, my God, we were all obsessed. It was like, it was so magical. Yeah, well, thank you. I appreciate that.

20:54The run through will be back in a moment.

21:28Whether you're a movie lover or an industry buff, Little Gold Men from Vanity Fair has everything you need to know about this year's Oscar race. Follow and listen to Little Gold Men wherever you get your podcasts.

21:44I can't believe we're nearing the end of Stranger Things. I mean, this era of your life, it must feel like such a huge change. And I read that you blackmailed the directors of Stranger Things to find out what was happening in the finale before everyone else. Matt and Ross are like my older brothers. Like I already have an older brother and the relationship with them and the relationship with my actual biological brother is almost parallel. Like we are brutally honest with each other. At any moment we can make fun of each other, we will. um it's just that fun kind of relationship where I just feel so loved and supported by them and I trust them with everything you know um which is hard to find with people I just feel like I could tell them anything they've always been there for me and always loved me and I just think those kinds of people are rare in this industry so I've been very lucky to have that and nurture that friendship and relationship um however you tend to have um your funny moments within that friendship and with them we both let's just say um will bring things up like oh you want me you want people to tell me about you want me to tell people about this or you want me you know um one time I actually printed off all their like um film school pictures like they have film school pictures and I was like I'm going to so I printed them and put them around set so I'm an insane person um and again just their annoying little sister yeah I remember just being like I'm gonna have to blackmail them because they need to tell me how this ends I have a strategy I have a plan you know I mean I'm like okay if I go over to the writer's room to pretend I want to have lunch with them then I'll be able to see what happens um which I know sounds crazy okay because I do love having lunch with them but i also want to know what happens so it's just a strategic way of trying to get what i want what did you blackmail them with with brownies or what what do they like i no it's thing no it's blackmailing them with things that they don't want out on the internet so like if i got a really bad picture of them i'll just use that against them and be like really because i'll just share everyone this weird picture of you you know eating a muffin Actually, I do have a really funny picture of them eating a muffin.

24:11And it's like the muffin is like literally like the weirdest. They picked around it and there's just this core of this muffin. And I'm like, why didn't you just eat the muffin? They're like, so weird. And I'm like, why are you eating it like that? I'm like, do you want the world to know that that's the way you eat a muffin? Because you need to tell me what happened in episode eight. How long did it take to get them to break down? Oh, it doesn't take them long. It doesn't take them long. at all um with me it takes sometimes i get tricked and duped by them they're like well you did this and i'm like oh god how do we find that out so this episode will be released after the finale airs um but we haven't i haven't seen it yet but i am curious to know if any of the fan theories um that you found that are out there that you found intriguing and wish that you could see like an alternative ending of i mean i think there are quite a few fan theories out there are there any that have have peaked your that you've come across you're like oh that would be interesting to be honest i haven't seen a lot because i'm not really on line in that way but um this the few that i have heard are very interesting like i they all could be plausible and to be honest with you i don't actually sometimes know if they are real or not huh that makes any sense I'm like oh that could that could have been that and then I call the directors and they're like no I'm like oh okay so so don't even like when people are like let me test these fan theories out I'm like you're gonna get a real authentic answer from me because I don't know if that's true I mean it sounds good like do you know I mean it really sounds real it could be and I check it and they're like no that's not why we did that Millie I want to talk a little bit about your hair because you had to shave your head for the character for the character of Eleven and I think at that age it must have been quite I think it's really you know I remember when I was younger it was as a kid it's very you know your hair is such a big a big deal how has your relationship to your hair changed like tell me a bit about that because I think you're experimenting and you've gone blonde you've done different things with your hair like how's your relationship to your hair evolved I've never been a huge like I don't care like I've never cared um almost every childhood picture is of my hair looking actually insane because I didn't even really see it as a part of me it's so funny I think some people care and some people don't and there's no right or wrong it's just like I didn't even acknowledge it as like a part of me and I actually still don't which is kind of funny is this going to sound so funny i don't care like if the blonde ruins my hair like i'll just shave like in my head you're not precious about it i'll just cut it off like it doesn't matter to me um and so when they said that i shaved my hair off i was like that's fine i don't care about that um and then i grew up and obviously you start dating and it makes you go oh wait hold on a second a boy's gonna think I'm cute like is that okay and uh and then sure enough it's like no people like you for you and at least those are the people that you want to be around and um I was always in relationships where people really just didn't care you know they were just like you know I was enough hopefully um and so that was kind of a confidence builder too um it wasn't like anyone was reigniting that you're not pretty and also it doesn't matter if you are or you're not perfect doesn't really exist in that way so and I have I have great family values as well so that was always kind of just always reinstated um and then yeah growing up I'm just like okay I'll dye my hair um blonde or I'll go red or I'll cut it all off and do a really short bob and I'll do I'll go I have at one point I had black hair um so I'm relatively not I feel very nonchalant about my hair um right now um I have like no nothing in so this is just my real my real hair um I had extensions in for a movie for four months um and my hair just is very strong and tolerable thank goodness the extensions I'm very lucky um and this this is no haircut or anything I've just completely let it grow i'm so on it i'm so the opposite of that i've i've never done anything to my hair i feel like so boring with my hair but i really admire people who can experiment with it yeah but you know what like i just think everybody's experience is different like for me it's like my hair is like a prop you know or like my costume is a prop it's a part of and it's an accessory of a character so what's mine is like my heart my personality who i am so i don't know if that makes any sense and if that's like a totally like insane thing or way to think but no I don't think so yeah I don't know my hair just feels like a part of my job yeah it makes sense for when you did get married because I guess people look at those photos and think oh you know that's they try and think about how timeless that image will be what did you go what how did you do your hair how did you think about it when you had to be like oh now now my hair is like I'm showing up as me like what do I want that to be do you know what I kind of just thought what did I what was my hair like as a kid so as a kid my hair was long brown with like blonde pieces in the front because I was born in Spain and um the sun would always lighten up the front of my hair so I thought that's just what I'm gonna do I'm gonna go back to like the core of who I am as a child um so So that's what I did for that.

29:58And I and I and I love those pictures. I wouldn't want my hair to look any other way. So yeah, that's kind of what I did for that is I tried to go back to what I what my original hair and format kind of is. I'm so curious now this era is is wrapping up for you what roles are you interested in pursuing now I mean you're it's so I I can't believe you've lived such a life and you're only you're still so young I mean the world is out there that you see the world is your oyster what's exciting you right now what are you thinking about as this chapter closes and and you've kind of got this like road stretched ahead of you I think you know My next two years are packed.

30:45And I'm doing projects that I'm really, really excited about. And I've been working on for a long time. One of them just came out of the blue. And it was just kind of like the most perfect union of what I was looking to do and what the project needed. Did you hear that? It's my little baby. She's telling me she's awake. I didn't know. Oh, hi. she's telling me she's like um so um so yeah so I think um what is in the pipeline are definitely things that I'm really excited about things that I've developed or things that have landed on my lap and then there are things that we're developing now that I'm like wow this feels very exciting like very exciting um more story driven and character driven roles things that I'm either going to have to morph into or the environment is going to kind of build the character um i'm developing um my book that i released called 90 into a film um so that's really exciting so yes just doing things that feel like passion projects things that feel authentic to me and what i believe in and the the kinds of characters i want to bring to screen how they all inspire my generation and so cool I mean I I I one of the things I loved about um reading that reading the cover story and the cover story that we did with you that was that you were so committed to having kind of like a sense of normalcy in your life and to having um and and you weren't concerned with I kind of like the glitz and gloss of fame and that you have a very normal group of friends in Atlanta and you live a simple life and you're very, you know, I think obviously that the farm grounds you in a really, in a really concrete way, in a really lovely way.

32:40This was a choice that was obviously informed and shaped by your parents when you were, when you were filming the show that you lived in Atlanta. But I'm, I'm wondering now that, that obviously Atlanta is going to, has a different place in your life and that you might be gravitating more to LA. would you ever consider that or yeah I will never live in LA I just I just it just isn't for me you know I grew up on the road a lot before even acting I was born in Spain I moved to London and then I moved to Orlando Florida so I don't have a childhood home um a lot of things got lost like baby pictures or old toys and um a lot of my childhood was not grounded in a home and that's it's um I learned that my family on my home that wherever we went was home with them um and it was a beautiful way of living I loved it but there's of course a fraction of you that goes oh but you didn't you don't have a family home like my husband has a family home where all of his belongings are I mean his mom even has the crib that he wow upped in and my daughter is able to sleep in the crib that her dad I love that and it's so you know and so that is beautiful I had a different upbringing it doesn't mean I wasn't absolutely obsessed with my upbringing because I learned also a lot about culture.

34:16I learned a lot about different places, different lifestyles. And that I wouldn't take for granted at all because that taught me a lot about how to be a human being. And I think it also gave me skills and tools to navigate this industry. However, if I can do anything for my daughter, it will be to learn about different cultures, to travel a lot, to learn about different people and lives. and develop a sense of love and understanding for the world, but to have a home base that grounds you and that keeps you feeling like there's home to always resort to. And all of her things are here, and I'm a bit of a hoarder, and keep everything from every aspect of her life so far.

35:08And so that's this for her, and that's this for me. My parents lived next door to me and we moved in to that house when I was 14. So technically that could be my childhood home. So I don't see us ever moving. No, I love that. I think it's I imagine that being, you know, you guys being first time parents, you're thinking it has you reflecting on your on your own childhood and the things that you want to take from that and give to to your daughter and the things that you want to do differently for your daughter. And I think it's so lovely. And you do come across as someone who's very grounded and also clear about how you want to walk through the world and how you want, you know, you want to move forward in the world.

35:53I was really struck by the stories of your early acting career. And you mentioned getting a lot of rejections and that a casting director once told you you won't make it, that you're too mature for the screen. And that was before you landed the role of Stranger Things. And this has popped up in headlines over the years. And how have you navigated that kind of criticism? Is it something that you've leaned into or almost embraced in a way? I think it's like such a minefield for especially for young women in this industry. And I'm sort of like curious to know how you've navigated these kind of questions over the years.

36:27I have a very strange relationship with criticism. Criticism comes into my life a lot. It's funny when you're acting, when you're directing, when you are getting directed, you are naturally being positively and negatively criticized. Just like, just period. Like you will try something in a scene and somebody will criticize it. It's not to say that they didn't like it, but they're tweaking it. They're curating it so that everything, you know, so the world, it's funny. I, um, my job is, is, is about opinion. It's always about it. That's the whole point of collaboration. So I love and nurture it in that world.

37:13And then in the outside world and the bigger picture is that important? Like, where do I value and not value criticism? So I value it in my work, in my personal life, to the people that I trust most. And then I don't value it when it comes to the outside noise. because they don't know me they don't know my life they don't know my story they don't know the choices I make or why I made them and so everyone can offer their opinion absolutely everybody's entitled to their own opinion but you can't tell me something that you don't know the full story of or my life or the why I did something so I've learn to shut it out and then sometimes because I'm 21 when you're on your period or when you're feeling a bit sad you hear that and it hurts because you're like I'm 21 I don't need to hear that today I already feel like shit and that's gonna make me feel even worse and so when I'm feeling confident which is most days I learned and it's a lot of therapy but just to shut it out I do that and then sometimes I'm like when I'm trying to be vulnerable and when I'm trying to give someone something like dye my hair blonde and wear crazy outfits and go on a press tour and people are just like so loud with their opinions you're like hold on like hold on like this is bullying this isn't fair to let me live and breathe and whatever so and then I'll just I'll call to action I'll be like hey hey you Jo what do you do in your life exactly like what are you doing like do you think you would talk to your daughter like that or your wife like that and hey if you saw your daughter have a really bad day from school and all these people were being mean to her and sharing their opinion or saying that she looked terrible are you going to come for your daughter when you come home or are you going to berate her as well and um you have to just look at them and go what are you doing within your life yeah and to tear someone else down especially a young person who is already trying to navigate and figure themselves out and when you put it into that perspective it really makes sense but sometimes it's hard to do that when you're feeling sad and that's only happened once this year so i'm really happy about that um other than that i have not felt that way and i felt entirely in control um of being able to shut that out i'm i'm so glad that you spoke up because i do think that there's so many people who hide behind a handle on on social media and they have no understanding of the of the hurt that they're inflicting and i think it was very i think it was exactly the right thing to do that sometimes people need to be held to account so I was very happy to see you do that I think it was very brave and really really graciously done really really graciously and amazingly done um I am I'm excited for you because this is going to be your first Christmas as a mother or this will be your first holiday season as a mom and um and it sounds like she's she's being very she's giving you lots of sleep giving you lots of sleep and being very adorable and sounds adorable what are you most excited about is this a moment that you get really into do you like decorating the farm do you um i heard you like to cook what's on the menu tell me everything so christmas for me it's my my favorite time of year um obviously we have all the animals we went shopping christmas shopping for all of the animals yesterday creating all of what everybody wants.

41:09Do they do secret Santa or how does this work? No, I usually I just go through all of the animals. Some of them like food. Some of them like treats. Some of them like balls. Some of them like, you know, daycare. And so I basically gift them with all of those. I know it's funny, but they like to unwrap everything. I put them in boxes and then I let them all sit. And then in terms of the house, we have four trees okay four trees up so we have the the pink one which is for my girl and i which is like a whole pink room love it and then we have um like our main tree which has all of our personal ornaments on them then we have just like a red tree and then upstairs we have like a farm tree which has all farm animals on it so yes we i love christmas i am i'm actually hosting this year my house um so I cook a big roast dinner and then my sister's hosting the night before Christmas Eve and then my I will all stay at my parents house all of my siblings and all the babies will stay at my parents house that night we'll do a sleepover and then we'll wake up with my parents oh that's so fun even though they live next to my house like I could literally just drive home and sleep at home um you know family's so important and yeah it's nice to have everyone back in the same house I bet I bet I mean it's been about six months into parenthood I I kind of want to know I feel like during this interview I have felt like you've you've shared a bit about what you've learned about yourself and um I'd love to know what surprised you about motherhood and yeah like how you're enjoying it I love motherhood I think I knew I would um but I didn't know this much I nothing prepares you um I I'm shocked by how much perspective it gives you um people said that and I was like okay and now I just want to mend bridges with people like I'm just like you But like, you know, I mean, I'm just like, like, let's just all be friends.

43:21Like, let's not, you know, it's just so funny. Like, things aren't as big of a deal. I have such a wonderful husband who supports and loves me. Like, even doing this now, I'm just like, okay, like, you got the baby. I'm going to go do this. And he's like, yeah, absolutely. And yeah, I just go down there and they're playing instruments together. And it's just like, it takes you out of it for a moment because I just feel very blessed. and an honor to have these two people in my life that I can now call my family. It sounds like you and Jake are very much on the same page about parenting. I know your daughter's very young, but I'm curious to know if there were things that you agreed upon or things that you thought about as you were going into it as far as parenting styles or is it something that you're sort of learning as you go we knew what we were going to be like and then we've completely stepped into that like there's been no like oh my god I can't believe you're the bad cop and I'm like there's none of that you know it's not like that um I knew I was gonna sing a lot I do I sing a lot and she loves it um she really loves it and Jake's just like the the quiet the peace the the cuddler like I even cuddle when they're cuddling I'm cuddling too like I'm the chaos of the the love and the creativity of it all and Jake is the the anchor um yeah it's pretty amazing to see um him step into that role which he does so gracefully and I love that you're that your co-star and friend and Noah Schnapp is the baby's godfather right is he fulfilling his godfather do is is he is he been a good godfather so far yeah so we actually we have four godparents um and uh when when jake and i decided that that's what we wanted to do um it was like he was a no brainer but it was obviously going to be noah three of our other really close friends but noah is absolutely like i we were just in london and he's like okay we're going out we're taking the baby okay like what do we need like you know it's just so fine because she's hungry she's this she's that um uh he he loves her I actually will never forget the moment he met her and um it it was just a very emotional experience I just I met my best friend meet my other best friend and it was like two people that I love so much it was just that was a very um surreal experience well I'm I'm so excited for you and I'm so, so thankful and happy to have you on the podcast.

46:02And I can't wait to hear all about your Christmas. So thank you so much for coming on and have a wonderful Christmas. Thank you so much, Chioma. I really appreciate it. And I'll see you. Have a great Christmas. Have a happy holiday season. And we'll speak soon. Speak soon. Bye. Bye. Bye.

46:23That's it for the show. See you later.

46:28The Run-Through is produced by Chelsea Daniel, Alex DePalma, and Stephanie Kariuki. It's engineered by Pran Bandy and James Yost. It is mixed by Mike Kutchman.

46:47From PRX.