Actress Mariska Hargitay gets personal in ‘My Mom Jayne’

0:00Mariska Hargitay:KCOW sponsors include Netflix presenting Love on the Spectrum, now nominated for five Emmy Awards including outstanding unstructured reality program. The New York Times raves Love on the Spectrum illuminates the universal experience of seeking connection. From KCOW Santa Monica and KCOW.com, it's The Treatment. Our president said, and I agree, that we must balance our economy. There are problems that we all must solve. It's The Treatment. I'm Elvis Mitchell, and it's a big year for Emmy-winning Law & Order SVU star Mariska Hargitay. Her 2025 HBO documentary, My Mom Jane, on her mother, actor Jane Mansfield, received Emmy nominations, including one for Hargitay as Best Director.

0:48She's also hosting this year's Emmy Awards on September 14th, and her New York Knicks did pretty well in the NBA Finals. She came by last year to talk about her documentary. Let's revisit that conversation. This film is about forgiveness. It is. It's about forgiving your mother. It's about forgiving yourself. It's biblical in its way. I mean, it's really a religious experience to me.

1:13Mariska Hargitay:Thank you. What a beautiful thing to say. I felt like that, too. I think that, you know, forgiveness is the only way that we can evolve and, quite frankly, move forward in this life. Because if we get tripped up, triggered, it causes arrested development and we cannot thrive and live in community. And we certainly can't live in love, which is the only way out, right? So it's been an incredibly freeing, cathartic experience for me to make this film. I guess what's interesting about this film to me too, Mariska, is just that it's so much about you asking questions about yourself vis-a-vis your mother, who was really a person who was ahead of her time.

2:04She was multilingual. She was incredibly accomplished. If you look at her as an actor, there's something musical about the way she spoke. And it turns out that she was an accomplished musician too. And I'm sorry, I see this look on your face as you're talking about this. It's hard for you to walk away from this. And I think about your character on SVU who was carrying the secret about parentage, and you must have just found out about your own parentage when you accepted the show.

2:32Mariska Hargitay:I found out a little bit earlier. I was 25 when I found out about my biological father, and I got SVU when I was 34. So there were some, you know, as I say in the film, there were some rough moments there. I did definitely have a very hard time and an identity crisis after I found out not knowing who I was because I'd also aligned myself so much with my father and so much of my identity came from him and wanting to be like him and being of him. And I was so proud of him as this amazing, committed human being. He was a committed father. He loved my mother. He was, you know, Mr. Universe and a champion athlete.

3:22And everything that he set out to do, he accomplished against all odds of the time. Came to this country with no money in his pocket.

3:30Mariska Hargitay:No money in his pocket. I mean, if anything, it's a story about what immigration should be. It's the story of your father. Truly. It's the most beautiful immigration story. And also that people tried to put, both my parents were sort of put in a box. You know, I remember my father came and. He's a bodybuilder with an accent. A bodybuilder with an accent. And he said, you know, I want to be a bodybuilder. And they said, how old are you? He said, 26. They said, you're too old. And he said, you're too old. You know what I mean? And then he did it. He did so much against all odds. And I remember he just taught me it takes this much more to be a champion.

4:06Mariska Hargitay:He would put his fingers two inches apart and say it takes this much more. That's what it takes. It's only this much more teaching us about going the extra mile, but it's going the extra two inches. And that really, I metabolized that. That really sunk in. And so just when I became tired or thought I was done, I would push it a little more because of him. So he was really my role model. And I think that my career and my longevity and that I was able to do this marathon of SVU and never quit. I just attribute that to my father. I mean, for me, the social ties these two things together just because it's a show that in emotional terms has to be incredibly demanding just because of what happens on the show from week to week.

4:56Yeah. And it's also, again, I just find myself thinking that the character is so much about finding optimism. I mean, when she smiles, which isn't very often, these are private smiles that she has. She doesn't smile in front of people a whole lot. And watching the film and scene, you have to sort of figure out who you are. Yeah. And basically it's like every decade something else came up that made you ask a question, who are you? And part of you as an artist must feel like it's okay to have to reassess because that's where growth comes from. But on the other hand, at some point as a person, you won't be able to put your feet on the floor.

5:33Mariska Hargitay:Yeah. And I think that's what this moment is in such a beautiful way. And, you know, I said to Nelson, my biological father, the other day we were talking about. Who was also an entertainer. Who was also an entertainer. But I said to him, what's beautiful about this part of the process is that some things are worth the weight. The weight. And some things are worth the weight. So W-A-I-T and W-E-I-G-H-T. And that's been beautiful because this only comes to us through age and wisdom. and that's why now I don't have regret. I have gratitude. And yes, it was a bumpy ride. And yes, I couldn't find my footing.

6:25Mariska Hargitay:And yes, I sacrificed my own identity out of loyalty to Mickey because I didn't want to betray him. And I wanted to, if he said this is what it was, then this is what it was because he did nothing but love me and commit to me and claim me, which is all I wanted. So the irony is that when I found out about Nelson and thought I wasn't claimed, right, which, of course, I understand my younger self. The fact is I was more claimed than anyone. But it took this journey and this growth, and I had to go through it. I had to go through the fire. and that's what making this movie was is that I got to reframe it in the truth by having a more objective perspective right because all I had was my you know oh my father's not my father the biological father he didn't claim me I'm not lovable I'm not this I'm not that everyone kept secrets from me my mother left me in a mess you know blah blah blah blah and now I sit there and I go, these are complicated, complex, three-dimensional human beings that were doing the best they can.

7:42Mariska Hargitay:And that's why I say in the film, like, I have maternal feelings for her. I got to look at her objectively and go, wow, you are this complex person. This is what happened to you. This is the box they put you in. They try to put my dad in a box. They try to put everyone in a box. and it really speaks to the time. So I feel like my whole life and my career is about, don't put me in a box. That's not happening. It's not. It's the treatment. We're talking homonyms with my guest, Mariska Hargaday. She's an actor, of course, from The Law and Order. It's for you and many other things. She's also an accomplished director.

8:22Her new film for HBO is My Mom, Jane. And I think one of the things that I'm really fascinated by in terms of watching what you've done before and seeing this is your growth as a filmmaker. I mean, you're really trusting the audience to say, there's something early on we hear you're on Merv Griffin as a child. And you say, my name is Maria. And so often with kids, that's where nicknames come from. They get their names wrong. And so that's a piece of information that turns out to have a crucial amount of weight. But your trust in the audience to say, well, if I put this out, when I ring that bell again, it's meditative.

9:00It's something that you do in meditation. When you start to do this thing and it comes back to you, it circles back around. And I just, when you mentioned meditation, I thought, well, this film is meditative.

9:09Mariska Hargitay:Thank you. It's interesting that you bring that up. It's also about trusting myself and trusting children and their wisdom. And I don't know if you saw the logo for my company, which is called Mighty. But if you watch the logo, the animated logo, that little girl on the bike is me. That is a photo that I found in studying and gathering all the archival for this film. And when I saw that picture of me, I went, I was sort of taken by her strength, determination, knowing, clarity. and independence. I was so, I looked at her and I went, I was already formed. It's like almost Olivia Benson face. It's, there was this knowing, independent kid that said, well, a little bit, I'm on my own here, so I'm gonna have to figure it out.

10:17Mariska Hargitay:And she did. And that was Maria. And so So I wanted to honor that sort of the genesis of our wisdom, if you will, as young children. I look at young kids. I look at my kids, and I'm always blown away by things they say, their intuition, their wisdom, the purity of spirit. I mean, I don't mean to get to, but sometimes my kids say things. And I think most parents have this experience where their kids say things and you're like, wow, that is so wise. That is so knowing. That is so connected. It's so dialed in. But I think what you're talking about, too, is because of things that were happening around you, you and your siblings had to sort of be wiser.

11:09Mariska Hargitay:We had to grow up fast and figure it out because there was so much going on. And so in that, that's that part, I guess, of myself that I wanted to honor and say it all started there. You asked me when we walked in, how long did this take, this movie? And I said, well, I think I've been preparing for it my entire life. I think I've been preparing for it and then trying to figure out how, when I would tell the story, but also had to sort of gather myself and create the infrastructure and the scaffolding to be able to tell the story through a more objective lens and a healed lens and not carry my own trauma into it.

12:01Mariska Hargitay:I wanted to go look at this bird's eye view and say, what happened? And in the specificity of the story, what I feel is that this is an incredibly universal story. It is. We're going to get into that. We're going to take a little bit for a break. Clearly, I have nothing to talk about with director and actor Mariska Hargitay. But we're going to come back anyway. Her film on HBO is My Mom, Jane. It's The Treatment. This morning, come stay with us. It's The Treatment. and my 2025 interview with Emmy-winning actor and now Emmy-nominated director Mariska Hargitay. It continues after this.

12:37Mariska Hargitay:This is Kim Masters, host of The Business on KCRW. Every week we take a deep dive into the deals and the drama that shape Hollywood. From the power plays in the boardroom to the creative battles on set, we bring you the inside stories behind the entertainment headlines. Check out the business, part of the NPR Podcast Network. I'm Elvis Mitchell. It's the treatment with my guest, Emmy-nominated director and first-time host of the 2026 Emmy Awards, Mariska Hargitay. It's an extraordinary thing to watch. And you got to watch this recently on a big screen at the Cannes Film Festival. What was that like for you?

13:16Mariska Hargitay:It was so exciting. It was so beautiful. I had this dream that we would get into the Cannes Festival because in all the archival that I saw, there were so many photos that spoke to me where she looked so joyful and so free and so in love and like she was truly thriving. And I think that when she was in Cannes were some of the happiest times in her life. Because the photos, just like on a cellular level, I could feel like a jolt in my body when I would see them. And I could just, I had a felt sense of her joy. And so when we were accepted into the Cannes Classics part of the festival, I was overjoyed.

14:08Mariska Hargitay:And, you know, again, watching it with a European audience, you sort of don't know. We have a little bit of cultural difference, and I didn't know how it would be received there. And it was beautiful. And it was the first time I saw an audience without friends or people that loved me or people that were part of the process. Because obviously I had friends and family screening and crew and people like that. But this was a real audience. and I was blown away by the emotion in the room. People were weeping. So many people came up to me and shared stories about their own family. And I just was like, I should accomplish.

14:56Because I look at the film, you know, as an invitation also

15:02Mariska Hargitay:for people to look at their own families and the skeletons in their closets and the things that we are all afraid to talk about, to deal with. What are we going to find in the closet? What are we going to find? But the fact is, the only way out is through. And for me, the freedom and the joy and the catharsis that was waiting for me on the other side was magnificent and just glorious that sometimes we're so scared of the demons in the closet. I mean, maybe there's nothing to be scared of. It's the truth. My guest who hasn't seen through my facade yet is Mariska Hargit. See, eventually I'll get it if I keep saying it.

15:48Her film on HBO is My Mom Jane. I think what's extraordinary about it, and there's so much great stuff in it too, is again, there's filmmaking involved in this. I mean, I can see what you're doing. You're trusting the material to tell the story. and I mean the way you use this footage and I can only imagine how much stuff you had to go through to edit it that's why I was asking how long it took to put it together because there's real clarity and deliberation in all the choices of the stuff we see again that Good Morning America clip resonates because of when you use it and so many of the clips are there are placed in terms of where they will have the greatest emotional resonance and that's learned as a filmmaker And I was wondering when you started to feel that you had that much command over your craft.

16:36Mariska Hargitay:Thank you. Well, you know, I've been doing SVU for 27 years. Someone hears. Also, you know, I've been directing on that show for a while. But that's a different skill set. It's a very different skill set. Obviously, narrative from documentary. But I also approach filmmaking from a very emotional and visceral point of view. Okay. I also hired a brilliant team. My editor was absolutely remarkable and unbelievably talented. I called him a surgeon. His name is J.D. Marlowe. And he had never done anything like this. And I remembered it was, I met all these editors and all of them so talented. I'd seen their body of work.

17:22Mariska Hargitay:And when I met him, I could feel just on a cellular level that he was right and that he was grokking it, that he was getting it. He got the story on such a visceral level. Now, we were very lucky because we had so much archival to go through. So it was gifts falling out of the sky. We found these archival moments that were so resonant and you just plug it in. But I just had a brilliant, you know, team. And my producing partner, Trisha Dlesic, also a filmmaker and has directed films, you know, two-time Academy Award nominee. And we were this beautiful team. I think also the film is so resonant because of my composer, Max Lichtenstein, who, again, everyone was deeply connected by this invisible string and such an incredibly intimate process because here I was truly unzipping my soul.

18:25and then we would come together

18:28Mariska Hargitay:and so there was such reverence and such love and such deep connection through the filmmakers that it was quite an intimate experience but we were I just can't tell you how in sync we were and how everyone's gut dictated emotionally the film and not to mention I mean, they're all brilliant specialists at what they do. But it just came together, and we were all meticulous in it. And it was such a joy. And I learned so much. I learned so much about this process. But you don't front load. I mean, you're talking about there's a moment of betrayal I don't want to give away. When we first meet this person, you don't give away how we're supposed to feel about him.

19:19And there are many ways you could have done that. You've directed enough to know that you can always do the zoom or the lens basically just tighten the focus. The stills were going to be getting something about this person. And you don't do any of that. I think that that is from I hate being told how to feel.

19:35Mariska Hargitay:And I like shows that respect their audience. And I think that's one thing that we did well on Law and Order. And that's one thing I also learned is let people have their own. Don't tell me how to feel. Don't tell me how to feel. Let me watch it. I have a really good computer. I have a really good gut, internal gut. Let me decide. And if it's good filmmaking and it's clear, you will know how to feel. And so that was very important to me. I'm going to show you stuff and then you decide how to feel. I didn't want to, it's so clear in what happened. It's so clear that, I don't like manipulative filmmaking like that.

20:25Mariska Hargitay:I don't like manipulative music. I don't like that. No, it's clear. Well, I'm going to say thank you for doing this. We could do this for a lot longer, but I think your entourage needs to be changed. So I'm going to thank Mariska Hargaday, actor and director. She's, of course, a star. I'm going to say this again, the longest running show on primetime network television, because people don't see that very much anymore. Nowadays, a long run is two years. The show is Lauren R. S. V. U. But more importantly, her film on HBO is My Mom, Jane. Thank you so much for doing this. Thank you so much for having me.

21:06actor Mariska Hargitay is an Emmy winner for her role on primetime TV's longest running drama Law & Order SVU she's also an Emmy nominee for a documentary My Mom Jane and I have it on good authority that her New York Knickerbockers may have won the NBA title previous conversations with other directors, including Nick's fan, Spike Lee, at the archive, kcrw.com slash thetreatment. The Treat, our series on creators reliving moments of inspiration, drops new editions weekly at kcrw.com slash thetreat. The newest is from actor, director, and Oscar-winning writer Jordan Peele on a film that takes him to another place.

21:55the show is produced and edited by Rebecca Mooney and mixed by Katie Gilchrist to better days for the Detroit Pistons everyone I'm Elvis Mitchell it's The Treatment

22:25Thank you.