Jess Wright: Should I Feel Guilty for Doing This as a Parent?

0:00Welcome to Catching Up With The Royals, a brand new show with me Richard Coles. And me, Emily Andrews. Every week we'll be going beyond the headlines, lifting the lid, and what life is really like behind the palace walls. Hello, sir. Good morning. I'm The Sun's new royal correspondent. Oh, he said, look at me up and down. Things are looking up. We'll be diving into the moments everyone's talking about. What does the world owe you if all of a sudden you've handed back your crown? Meghan and Harry can't keep hold of their staff. We'll reveal the secrets of an organisation usually shrouded in mystery and explore defining moments of royal history to see how the past still shapes the monarchy today.

0:38Now, you actually knew Princess Anne. I think one of the ways she acquired power was through that relationship with the present. But before that interview, no-one had really spoken and been so open. Was that a game-changer? So join us every week wherever you get your podcasts, on YouTube and on Saturdays on 5 as we catch up with the royals.

1:03Welcome back to the Unprocessed Truth. If you're tired of scrolling through perfectly packaged advice and unproven diet claims, well, you've come to the right place. We're officially done with the noise. We're cutting through the marketing myths, the health halos, and the wellness scams to talk about what actually works for real life. And we'll be joined by experts, scientists, and celebrities who all provide unique perspectives so that we can have the debate and get to the truth of important topics for you and your health. To help us cut through the high-level public pressure and social media perfection, we have an incredible guest today.

1:46She's navigated life in the public eye, managed motherhood and built a business empire, all while facing constant scrutiny about her health, diet and fitness choices. She knows the pressure cooker better than anyone.

2:05TV personality, devoted mum, successful businesswoman, Jess Wright. Welcome to The Unprocessed Truth. Thank you. What an intro. What an intro. How are you? I'm really well, thank you. Yeah, good. It's great to have you here. Thank you. So on this podcast, we like to dive deep into the truth, the honest reality of people's lives, what they go through and what you've been through particularly and how that life in the limelight that you've had how it's affected you how it's affected your family life and how it's affected your health and your well-being and what you do today and what you've learned to hopefully share stories with other people that can make a difference to their lives because we all live in this world of social media pressure and everything now so we want to get deep into the truth and It's undeniable that our pressure's been out there.

2:55Let's get into the conversation today because you've been on TOWIE for over six years. You weren't just a reality TV star. You were on it for a long time and you've since built your own empire. Ignoring all that, just start with who are you in your own words. Good question. I often ask myself that question. I think, if I'm honest, I was listening to something the other day on a podcast and it was saying about how when you get to our age, my age, you know, 40, whatever, you start saying, who was I before I became this person? Because before I think like your 20s, you are just yourself. Like when you're an innocent child, you just behave in the way you behave.

3:39So I started thinking back to when I was a little girl and I was a real laugh. I was so funny. I always was acting, dancing, singing, doing sketches with my best friend who's really funny, much funnier than I am. And I started thinking like, where does that, where is that change? Obviously we grow up, but I think it's made me realise recently that I need to let go of it and just be me again. So yeah, in answer to your question, society can change us, I think for sure. Age definitely changes us. Parenting definitely changes us. Hormones, whatever else. But I think ultimately I just love to laugh and just want to do everything.

4:19Yeah, I've been like going into like lots of these different, I don't know if you've seen the human design thing. Yeah, I know. God, I'm like, I was listening to that and I'm like, mum, what exact time was I born? I need the time. She's like, I don't know the exact time. I'm like, give me a rough time. I need to know. She's like, why? I'm like, I'll explain later. And anyway, yeah, I found out I'm a manifesting generator. Okay. Yeah, there's a lot to it. And I kind of, when I read what that means, you know, for me, it made sense. And I was like, I am someone that just wants to do everything. I don't want to just be pigeonholed into one box and be told that's what you're supposed to do.

4:54And that's what you're here for. I believe that everyone's here for a lot more than that. But yeah, sorry, I've gone off question. But I think I am someone who cares a lot, has a lot of love to give, wants the best of everything, which is sometimes to my detriment. and just want to love life. Who doesn't? Yeah. It's that simple, right? We just want to love life, have fun and keep it easy. But when you were thrust into that from, you know, private life being the person you were into reality TV and then having everything on camera for so long, how do you think that changed you? Gosh, I mean, I like to think it didn't change me a lot.

5:38My best friends, we went away this year for our 40th and we all sat around and said, like we got all soppy on the last day and we said what we love about each other and everything else. And that like, one of the things they all said is that I haven't changed one bit since being in the public eye. Amazing. I mean, they are my best friends. So you'd hope that they would say that. But yeah, I hope I haven't changed too much. I've definitely probably become more insecure because I am naturally more aware that there's more eyes on me now. Yeah. And I definitely don't, you know, I hold back a lot. but other than that I wouldn't say it's changed me too much but that's the truth and fantastic as well right because it shouldn't have to change you you should be free to be who you want to be and be your authentic self but I guess it's that pressure like you talk about the insecurity right like I'm just some guy who made some videos in the supermarket and then now I'm in front of these cameras and I'm starting to go oh there's my t-shirt a bit dirty and stuff yeah it affects your mental health did you did you experience any anxiety around that and you know how did that yeah I am I started having depression when I was about 25 and I've been on antidepressants since and it's been a journey for sure and going back I think there's a lot of things that contribute towards that and I've always tried to break it down and I'm like is it the environment I've been in or is it just the serotonin levels in my brain is it hereditary I know it can be and there are you know people in my family above that have had it and have it so I think um when it comes to whether that was due to fame or not I can't really answer the question my first panic attack started when I was 20 I got into the public eye when I was 25 and I shortly after I got in the public eye had a bit of a breakdown and realized that I needed to go and get help but I don't know whether that was because of becoming famous or if it was just like trauma from what I'd been through in the previous years which wasn't great I was in a toxic relationship so yeah there's a lot to unfold and I keep meaning to book therapy but I keep putting it off well yeah I mean I think there's something you know the American culture of everyone's got a therapist I think I'm such an advocate for it as well it should be right like it's so great to be able to talk to people and kind of try and understand yourself yeah i have done it before quite a few times i've just never really stuck with it yeah which is hard and you're busy and you've got stuff to do but it's also such an incongruent fact of your life right that to most people you were living the dream you're on towie you're living the life but actually you're depressed yeah right though and that's the nuance in life that's so weird wonderful crazy difficult that most people miss right and don't get to the detail of kind of who you are so the fact that you've had to go through that and you're still dealing with it I guess today yeah is crazy but what was the beauty and glamour side of it like you know the the insecurities the high pressure to look a certain way to be a certain way on camera all the time like do you think that was unsustainable or do you think the industry has kind of moved on and started to evolve its views of beauty uh well it's definitely evolved um and yeah like in terms of beauty i mean the makeup we used to wear then we wear very different now it's there's a different way of doing everything now but i think with you know we were judged all the time and it's because the launch of social media happened when we when how we started twitter was just coming about and instagram so anything and everything we did was commented on so you had to just try and really keep a thick skin to everything that you saw and you were on the bleeding edge of that right you say it was just you were kind of launched as we launched yeah so early days into the celebrity but for the first time that's when you've got that direct feedback loop i think now we're probably a bit more i'll just ignore the comments we get it But back then, what was that like?

9:38It was ruthless. It was brutal. Like, you just had no, there was no filter. There was no one saying, oh, get these trolls offline. There was no one sticking up for anyone because everyone was too scared to speak out. It was very much just, you know, if someone wanted to say something harsh, they would. And the paparazzi were everywhere. Like, it's very different now. The industry is extremely saturated. There are celebs everywhere. And there's, you know, all different levels of celebrity, whatever. but these paps wanted to kind of catch us in all sorts of moments and wherever we were and in any kinds of outfits and any angles and we were just kind of thrust into this world of this new world that no one really had been into because we were reality stars.

10:17The only ones I think around at the time were Jersey Shore in the US. So we were the first in this country and yeah, it was mental, like crazy. And like even going shopping to assume like, you know, my mum, my sister and my nan we would go shopping all the time, you know, Christmas shopping we'd go in all the retail parks we'd be walking around, there'd be people asking my nan for pictures and looking at what we're buying and things like that, so I think you kind of learn to just deal with it and it's fine and that's part and parcel, you know, we had the most amazing opportunities and we've never changed any of it but it's definitely different Do you think it affected your relationship with food?

10:53And your health? Oh, I don't know Did it Did it affect my relationship with food? No, I've always been quite a good food person. I think I am anyway until I've probably sat in this chair with you. I love food. I love all kinds of food. Did I drink more alcohol? Yeah, probably. But then I can't blame anyone for that. That's, you know, our lifestyle was just going out more. But you're in your 20s, right? So it's normal. Everyone does it. But in terms of like when you were filming, were they feeding you right? Were they looking ass to your food? And, you know, because it's obviously part of the beauty image.

11:26On the big event days, you'd have to film from like Wednesdays and Sundays when I did it. And it would be every single week. So you'd have a big event on a Wednesday and a big event on a Sunday. And you could be filming from 9 in the morning until midnight. Or you could film from midday until 10pm, whatever. And there'd always be pizza on set. They'd always do a big delivery or they'd do like a huge Nando's or something. So it was always, yeah, we were fed. But it was mostly, yeah, I think. I mean, this is a long time ago now. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, well, it is what it is. And if it was only two days a week, you can then live a bit healthy the other days of the week.

12:02But then also, if you were filming equally, if you were filming, say, you were filming an event in an Indian restaurant, you got to eat the Indian food. So if you were filming an event space, there'd be catered food. Yeah. So, you know, like we'd film in big stately homes and stuff. Generally, there'd be on-site catering. So, yeah, it varied, to be fair. So what was the point that you started to more think about wellness and get into a bit of nutrition you said you're kind of into it and you've looked after it for a long time but was there a turning point um well there's definitely been one recently i think since having a baby and turning 40 i mean i've always been trying to be quite healthy but i'm not again i'm not the kind of person that just sticks to one routine and that's it i very much go from this to that to this to that i also believe in balance i'm not really strict and be like right i need to diet for six weeks and not eat one bit of sugar like it's just not me yeah and but recently i think where i'm turning 40 you notice so much so many changes in your body and your mind and your your health um so i've really honed in and i've now got supplements beyond in my kitchen and in just everywhere um which does become really overwhelming yeah yeah yeah i mean it is confusing right health is confusing you mentioned you know you've tried lots of different things and you're always kind of into it so have you got some like fads or trendy things that you did in the past that you're like oh my god what was i doing back then yes i went through a phase where i did a shot of apple cider vinegar every morning okay straight straight now it honestly like if i even smell it i gag but i'm like go you how did i do that then like i was hardcore i would just literally be like right shot of apple cider vinegar coffee off to the gym wow now i'm like yeah a cup of tea a few biscuits and then i might be able to just it's been a bad night with a baby yeah of course um so yeah you have to like govern your what you can do for your lifestyle as well like it's very different when you've got children and especially an energetic little boy that is going through a really bad sleep phase again you have to just like survive sometimes so you know the healthiest you see all these young girls on instagram and you're like oh my god i wish i had the time to just do all this stuff and prep this food and behave like this and do this and look like that and I'm like well Jess you are a young mum and you've got a career and you're trying to do everything it's impossible to just you know be superwoman yeah well 100 % I mean and I think the thing is health doesn't have to be complicated right like it doesn't have to be right you've got to be hardcore you've got to do that apple cider vinegar in the morning and that's the secret to your health and I think that's the problem with social is we constantly look for that new thing or that secret or superfood that really is just not addressing the fundamentals at all, which is do you have a good relationship with food?

14:51Do you understand that eating whole foods is important and cooking at home is important and just having a really strong foundation? I mean, yes and no. I went through phases like I ate plant-based food for a long time because I had psoriasis. so I went on a plant-based retreat and it opened my eyes up so much and I was really interested in it but then I've since having Presley I my husband comes home later for work so he now eats before he leaves his office so I'm always cooking for one pretty much because me and the baby won't eat calling the babies three and a half Presley we don't don't always eat the same thing but yes I'm definitely guilty of just going that'll do it's only for me I'm not going to make a big banquet but am I if it's just for one person?

15:35But I've like probiotics, prebiotics. That's very much in my diet now. So every day I'll take probiotics and prebiotics. I started doing all the collagen powder, the creatine, which I've just got into. Nice. Yeah, and then like shelled hemp seeds, flax seeds. Things like I do really try. And I like to think I am healthy, but like I said, it's a good balance. I'll also have like one or two glasses of wine most nights of the week. Big confession. Most nights. Most. I've got something for you on the wine because it's a topic I've been exploring a lot because my dad's the same. He wants a couple of glasses of wine every night.

16:13And I'm like, you've got to stop. And he's in his 70s now. So you can see it start to affect his memory and other things. And you're like, we need to fix this. But there's a new set of wine companies coming out, which is essentially, you know what they did in beer? They went to no alcohol. Yeah. But they started to make it actually good so you can enjoy a no-alcohol beer and it tastes amazing. In wine, it's much harder to do that. Once you strip the alcohol out, it tastes like grape juice primarily. But there's a new set of winemakers coming out with like low-alcohol wine. So like 5%, 6%. And I've been buying them all to test them on my dad because if he can switch, you know, I'm not going to get him to stop drinking that wine because you need that moment.

16:54You've had a hard day. You've got the kid. Like you're stressed. You're tired. You just want that release. but if you can half the alcohol in it absolutely have a big impact on your health and so there's a couple of brands for my dad's birthday i literally bought him 26 bottles and just said amazing that's your wine for the rest of the year you don't need to buy five glasses now instead of no he's actually not he's actually using it and this is the thing because it like sure it's a little bit different but it's very good and your taste buds change so after 10 to 14 days of just doing that wine you get used to it you wouldn't even know it's a difference and you don't get me wrong I'm not like every day but I I can you know it will probably be four to five days a week which is a lot yeah you know in all honesty that's a lot of alcohol for your body to deal with I know everyone says like oh just one glass of wine is fine and my gran lived till 94 and she religiously had a glass of wine with lunch and then religiously had a glass of wine at six o 'clock when it turned six Really?

17:57She had a couple glasses every day. She was absolutely fine. But, I mean, there's other factors as well, right? She was in the gardening four hours a day every day without fail, in the garden, sorry, doing the gardening. So she was very physical, very active. So there are things you can do. But, yeah, the science is quite clear. No amount of alcohol is really good for your body. And so probably if we can get you on a nice alternative brand, then we'll, well, hopefully they'll hear this. I just wish I didn't like wine as well. Like, you know, if it was just like, if I didn't like wine, it would be better.

18:30I probably wouldn't bother. But I actually like the taste of wine as well. But who doesn't? It's great, right? Well, my husband doesn't. Does he not? No, he's terrible. He doesn't like wine. He likes beer, surely. No. No? He drinks cider. Oh, interesting. Or if he's like on a night out, vodka. I mean, vodka, fine on a night out. But I didn't know anyone still drank cider. Yeah. Don't they? All good. Okay, interesting. Because, yeah, I think it's the trend side of it's really interesting. And, you know, we can get into some of your specifics around creatine and some of the detail. But I want to touch on motherhood because I think it relates really closely to what you've been saying around turning 40, motherhood, parenting.

19:09You know, it puts that extra level of stress on our bodies with sleep deprivation and constantly being alert. I find is incredibly hard on my body of like, because I've got two kids now that you're like constantly like, is everyone OK? and just making sure and you're just so on highly strung all the time that that's a stressor on your body essentially so then we feel it more but you you know becoming a mum like what was that experience like for you because obviously it's a huge departure from your previous celebrity lifestyle I think it's one of those experiences that basically just slaps you in your face and confronts you with like all these home truths yeah and you cannot um you can never describe it until you're in it yeah i mean people told me it was difficult and i was like that's fine yeah until you're in it and you're like oh shit yeah the levels of like worry the levels of love that you have which brings more worry um it was an interesting one i think i feel like a broken record because i'm always droning on about my experience not being great it wasn't all bad and there are people that are so much worse off however it wasn't plain sailing he had like all his issues he had reflux dairy allergy which he's still got he was really constipated he he was tongue-tied he had quite a few issues and then we recently found out well about a year and a half ago now that he's got a heart problem so in three years the trauma that will you know for the first five six weeks of his life he was just screaming because he was allergic to the milk and you know people would say oh try him on this but it's really hard like we went to a private a pediatrician in the end and, you know, he suggested taking him off the milk and giving him a dairy-free one and thankfully he took to it.

20:53And he was a lot better. But the reflux was there for two years. He was on medication since he was two weeks old, Omeprazole. Just so many things and we had to just, like, learn it. Like, there were no books. No one really around me had been through much similar. Thank God I had social media because I had learnt a lot on that. Yeah. And reach out to people. Really helped. Well, because essentially... But the platform I have, obviously, loads of people reached out. Yeah, amazing. so I'm lucky I have that but it wasn't easy and then yeah he didn't sleep for the first year and what do you mean by not sleeping?

21:23he would just the naps were like it'd be like relentless to try and get him off to nap he's just so aware and like then through the night he'd wake up two, three times and he'd have to be rocked back to sleep it was only when we eventually learned that he had to self settle that he took it he did it and he pretty much did it overnight so that was good and then he started to regress about a year ago and now he's just you never know what you're going to get every night what he just some nights he'll wake up and it'll just be like mommy mommy i'll go in there i'll lay on the floor when he goes off i'll go back in my bed or sometimes i'll get in his bed when he goes to bed now he wants me to be to lay on the floor whereas he used to just self-settle i'd shut the door and he'd be i wouldn't see him till the morning he's great but yeah but i saw your social media posts this morning your story about the kid going to bed at what eight nine o 'clock at night No, no, no, it goes to sleep at about seven Okay, so what was the other thing?

22:16The middle finger was up and you were kind of Oh, I didn't actually mean to have my middle finger I think I was going like that And I had writing over there So it might have looked like my middle finger was up But I mean, yeah, I might as well have had my middle finger To me, I read it into it It was like the honest truth around Sometimes parenting just isn't perfect You do the best you can And also, like, I know people that have had the best experience in terms of, like, their child's completely healthy from birth, no issues whatsoever, sleeps through it six to eight weeks. And I'm literally like, that is, you can't even call that the same thing.

22:53There's that parenting and then there's that parenting. And it's no one's fault. I'm so happy for them. Yeah, yeah. But it is a completely different experience. Well, 100%. And all these standards that we put on, it should be like this or it should be, you should try it like that. Like, everyone in a way just has to figure it out for themselves. and you create your own rhythm, your own routine, and it's not perfect, it's messy, it's complicated, it's sleep-deprived, it's painful. But, yeah, to create a society, like if you're posting that sort of content out and just showing people, look, this is just the way it is and this is what I'm dealing with, I think it's really refreshing.

23:26I've had so many messages, like women that I know, women that I don't know, and they're like, I'm exactly the same. Someone messaged me and was like, I still have to sit with my eight-year-old and I'm like, oh, my gosh. Eight years later. Eight years later. So yeah, I think every child's different. But then he comes with so much amazingness. I've sat here and listed all these things off. He's the most incredible kid. And I feel proud that I'm his mum. He really is. He's got all these other issues. But then he brings to the room so much character, so much energy. He's so intelligent, very forward, so charismatic.

24:03I know he's my baby. I'm always going to say that. We all love our children. but you know he really is and I think you know my mum said to me yesterday I honestly think that you got him because you could cope with it and I looked at her and I was like mum how can you say I could cope with it you know very well that I'm really not the best at coping with it she was like no no you have coped with it and you've done it and that's what you know what I think why I think you got him I mean don't get me wrong I'm making out like he's this horror he's not he's amazing But, you know, just the little trials and tribulations that test you and, yeah, bring the levels of stress up.

24:38Well, we all need our own lessons in life for different reasons. And I think, yeah, you obviously have coped with it. I think that's the hard part because you're in it and you can't see that. Yeah. You're so in it and you're just like, oh, my God, how am I coping? How am I doing it? But you're doing it. You're still here. You're sat on the podcast. You're having a conversation. You're looking fantastic. I'm still breathing. You know, and, you know, you're raising a beautiful little child. into this world so i think it's um phenomenal but how did it change your relationship with health because that must have been really scary as well because i think he went into infant icu with meningitis and no he didn't have meningitis he went into the nico on the first day because his oxygen levels when he first came out of me were dropping yeah they put him straight onto an antibiotic which i was like is that what's caused his constipation or his reflux is that why his microbiome is right I don't know I'm not a doctor but you read all these things and then actually after this they had to put him on antibiotics to check that he didn't have an infection because if he did you know to prevent if he did have an infection the antibiotics would help fight it but he actually didn't even have the infection so he didn't need the antibiotics but he went on them but yeah but it was in there for a day so yeah that was stressful for a new mum I mean you know My sister-in-laws, both had children, were premature.

26:00And one of them was three months premature. And he was in NICU for however many months. So that was horrendous. So yeah, it's not nice for any parents to have to go through that. But yeah, the first day, I gave birth to him and I didn't see him. I mean, yeah. Which isn't nice. So hard, so hard. But how did that change your relationship with health, wellness, and your feeling to, you know, how do you look after your kids' health, your health? um i was a real like my brother always says to me you've really shocked me how strict you are with him and i'm like why do you think i wasn't going to be this way like i wouldn't let him have sweets and i wouldn't you know now he's just having sweets he's three and a half but and he was like i never thought you'd be like this jess and i was like why because you saw me before living my best life and just you know not being this i was a healthy lady but you know not like a complete routine health fanatic whereas my brother is he's an athlete yeah and we're quite the opposite you know his boys were allowed sweets earlier or whatever you know everyone's different and I'm not judging it was just the way I felt and there were loads of things and he said I just can't believe how you've been with him and so yeah when it comes to Presley's health I've always been extremely yeah yeah what does that look like what are some of the things you've done um I just wanted him to have vegetables through the minute he could wean um no sweets no sugar so it all kind of goes up the wall when they can learn to speak and go no I don't want that I want chicken nuggets and chips yeah but yeah I just just everything really his bedtimes his nap times everything had to be regiment and my whole family used to like my brother Mark especially used to really like because he didn't have kids at that point either so he you know he'd be like oh it's fine what you're doing I'd be like I can't come yet because Presley's napping we'll be there about an hour later he's like what is wrong with you just wake him up and i'm like you definitely don't wake up yeah he's like let him just sleep in the car i'm like clueless like you literally have no idea yeah and now he's had a child he's like he's worse than me oh is he a little bit yeah he's like he gets it so yeah i think but that's typical me when when i'm doing something i want it to be perfect and I drive my manager mad and whoever else I like even my husband he's like why can't we just do that what's wrong with that and I'm like no no no we need to go there because it's the best place or we need to do this because it'll make sure that we've got the best of this not best but like the healthiest or the it tastes nicer or why not do that when we've got the opportunity to do it I'm very want the best I get that you want the best for your kid you want the best for yourself that makes total sense but then I'm also always letting myself down because nothing's ever good enough nothing's ever good enough and then I lay awake at night worrying about Presley's health and I'm like he's got this he's got that and like what we what can we do so you're in a sense giving yourself anxiety as a mum of are you being the best mum yeah always really yeah that's tough I think that's surely everyone gets that though right I mean yeah 100 % like I feel it as dad and you see my three and a half year old start to go through stuff and tantrums and things and you're like have i done something wrong here like that he can't quite cope with these things yet or is it just natural like you always have that self-doubt talk but i think you know we have to have to have to have more grace for ourself yeah right because no one has the blueprint every kid is different yeah it is fundamentally the hardest thing i think he'll ever do in life basically and we should be kinder to ourselves because like you know your mum pointed out you're doing it yeah you're making it happen um and you you're getting through it and you're you know you're making it work but now he's three and a half you said I'm interested in this part because obviously my toddler's the same age three and a half and now he can talk like I had it dialed in you know for the first 18 months they can't speak they do what you basically give them and it was like fine I got this I'll give him healthy food no problem like he's not having sugar he's not having sweets now is a different story yeah it's a totally different battle like how are you managing that and keeping it healthy and keeping them away from all the junk he is quite a good healthy eater he's not he he's got a dairy allergy so he can't have chocolate and luckily he doesn't like chocolate he thinks he's not tried it but he's like put it to his lips he's like oh yeah because like dairy free one he's done yeah so that's good cupcakes and stuff i buy the ones that don't have dairy in them but he's a bit bored of those now he he loves his bottles of milk still has bottles okay does yours not no but he has milk but just not in a bottle he's obsessed and i'm like gonna have to give these bottles away soon and we're getting to that point but i feel like it's his main comfort and when it comes to sweets he he's only been introduced to them really in the last six months and he's yeah he he wants sweets he wants and my mum's always like the more you deprive him the more he's gonna have and i'm like yeah but then he's he didn't need to be introduced to them until he really knew really really knew about them that was my thinking um and now in fairness he'll have some and he's not overly greedy with it he's quite you know so i kind of think like he'll sometimes he just wants to hold them they'll have one or something he lit my son does the same he just wants to hold them then i think i'm glad i actually let him because he's not even eating them so it's fine yeah but then at the same time you can't wrap them up in cotton wool i would have had sweets when i was little and hopefully i'm you know okay and healthy within reason it's okay but I try and buy like the healthy cereals and if I'm honest again it's survival when he goes to nursery I want to make sure he's not hungry so I want him to eat yeah so I'll put on a I'll put on a thing like a mixture of foods like this morning he had strawberries cucumber cereal and then he wanted hula hoops so I was like you can have the hula hoops but you're having all the other stuff too yeah and he did I did eat it yeah so you know he loves loves cucumber and he likes fruit so yeah sometimes you've got to choose your battles well you do and to be honest the older jacks gets like my thinking is like evolving because it's kind of the first time i'm dealing with a three and a half year old and trying to figure it out and you know the more i see it like they go to a halloween party the other week and it's like sweets everywhere what are you gonna do right and the neighbor comes around and just gives them bags of sweets and you're like oh god and it's like the cheapest crappest stuff and you decide can i deny him that pleasure or do i just ride it out or like what do i do and i think the more i deal with it the more i'm kind of coming around to the thinking of you just gotta let them have those experiences but if you teach them the foundations yeah right you you teach them what good food looks like and that sweets are just for a treat and yeah you know not a regular thing that's in the cupboard yeah we like to say to him remember what happens if you have too many sweets you feel sick and we'll say that a lot and then he gets scared he's like oh yeah I don't want to be sick and then we'll say things like um your teeth you're going to have to go to the dentist remember if you eat too many sweets we need to brush your teeth yeah so yeah I think you can kind of manipulate them a little bit a little bit I mean people would some people might call that fear-mongering and like whatever but anything to get through it well but I also think it's just the truth right like there are implications yeah You eat this crap all the time.

33:31So you've got to know that and that's it. But what do mealtimes look like? Oh my God, it's battle every time. I'm chasing him around the room trying to get a bit of food in his mouth. Won't sit down. He was really good, again, before he knew what he could do. Before he knew he had any control, he was great. He'd sit there in his little high chair and he'd eat. I would do him mini roast dinners, cottage pie, fish pie, everything, loads of chopped up vegetables in them. And he'd eat all of it. And then he started to know what he was eating. No, I don't want it. So now, if I'm honest with you, if I'm really honest with you, most of his dinners are either pasta, chicken nuggets or fish fingers, baked beans, jacket potatoes and tuna.

34:14What else does he have? A lot of cucumber. He loves that. At school, he'll eat more. Like he'll have like the sweet and sour chicken and rice and green beans. Yeah. And I'm like, at home, green beans? He's like, no. No, but at school, he'll do it. Yeah. So he's having cooked meals at school? He's having cooked meals at school, yeah. So I had a follower send us the ingredients list of their school dinners. And I was slightly worried because, you know, whilst in theory a hot meal, great, like vegetables, meat, whatever. A lot of additives are going into those cheap. Yeah, they're highly produced, cheap school meals.

34:48So that they're not, if they were cooking it there and then from fresh produce, you know, sweet and sour chicken with rice, whatever, fine. But the problem is they're not. They usually get in a pre-packed bag of like. What can we do? Not send them to school? Well, no, obviously not, right? Like that's not the solution either. So it's like, what do you do? Yeah. You know, I mean, arguably you can control a packed lunch a bit more, but then they might, you know, I've heard stories from other parents of like kids getting bullied because they're the only ones taking in packed lunches. You wouldn't want to segregate them, would you?

35:15You know, so there's all these sorts of problems. I think, and to be honest, I'm going through a bit the same with Jax now. He's gone like, what do you want for dinner? Pizza. What do you want for dinner? Chips. What do you want for dinner? Like pasta. And that's all you get out of it. anything else he really doesn't want but i think like if you've essentially only got control of two meals in the day right it's breakfast and it's dinner and then you can't really control what he's going to have at school you can't really control what he's going to have at friends parties suites other places so it's like for me the way i think about it is those two meals have to try you know i have to try and make them the best as possible but at the same time i'm like you right long day at work, finish work at 6 o 'clock, I've been on the go since like 5am and then, are you going to have that battle?

36:00No, it's draining, hence why I reach for the wine Hence why you reach for the wine Sometimes it's like, right, I put him in his high chair even though he's obviously protesting that now at the time as well, but if I get him in his high chair, I know I'm closer to be angled to get dinner down him If he doesn't get in the high chair, it's a chasing around the room battle So if I'll try and put something on the TV, I'll give him a book, whatever it is to try and get him to concentrate, then I'll whack him in and then I'll be like, right, I'll sit and get every morsel down him and I can have my glass of wine at the same time and it kind of just makes mealtime easier This is the bit I don't know either because like the TV hook of like obviously they'll sit there for a bit if you put something on the TV or on your phone so that people would be like oh my god that's so bad.

36:39Well but we do it sometimes you know like try not to but fuck it sometimes you've got to and then it's what's more important the TV not doing the TV or not eating food. We put him in front of an iPad at a young age I'm not going to lie only when we needed to like for instance a lot of times if we were out and stuff but like I remember I'll never forget we were in this restaurant and there was this child and parents on the table next to us and he literally was just sat there same age as Presley a boy sat there just eating his food with like literally just eating it just looking around nothing to entertain him and I turned to my husband and I was like he ain't normal how the hell have they done that?

37:16like no it was in Presley he's not normal I was like he would never just sit there at that age now it's different he'll chat to us and whatever else but at that age he would never have. He had to be concentrating on something because he's so, he's bright, he's thinking of like next week before it's even tomorrow. Right, yeah. Which is great because he's really intelligent. But he just, his concentration span, he's so high energy. But everyone's different, right? And I think part of the problem is like we're trying to make a three-year-old sit at the table, which they're probably not. And a boy as well.

37:48And a boy as well. You know, I've got two boys so they're just full of energy. you're trying to force them into an environment that's not comfortable or normal for them but like how do you address it address it sorry like the things i've tried it's one of the things i know me and my wife like at the weekend we'd love to like just go out for a sunday roast or brunch because it's all like moment of treat yeah it's like keeping your sanity keeping your sanity a bit but then you've got to take the kids yeah and so then it's like how relaxing even is it but But like the more I do it, the more I'm like, right, there's certain things we've got to do to make that even work.

38:24So like there's a. I'm really interested to hear what yours is because you've got. You've got something. I want to hear yours. I'll quickly just say mine because the thing I did, and this is only done it once, like about a month ago, and it just worked so well. Right. was we got to the place we were having Sunday roast at about half an hour to 40 minutes early and they have like a garden and we just took him out for like a 40 minute walk before we sat down. Oh yeah, we call it running him. Yeah. We need to go and run him. You literally need to go and tie them out, get the crazies out, let them run around and then you can maybe put them into a calm environment.

39:00And then give them a book or like a lot of the time, like I got to a point where I was like buying a toy every time we were going to go to a restaurant, but not like an extravagant one. it can be like 50p a little toy car or something we did the same or something that can one of those magazines even though they're like 8 quid now which is a joke the ones with toys in them with the worst crap plastic toys ever but you know like anything or I'll buy when I'm shopping in the week I'll go to like Home Bargains which I love I'm such a like I just love it I go in and I'm like right what's in the aisle with all the little crappy toys and I'll like get one or two things and I'm like right when we go out for dinner because we need to this weekend we need to get out and about we're not just going to sit in the house yeah I'm going to take that with me and all of a sudden I'm like oh here we go and I'm like right that's going to buy us 10 minutes 10 minutes quick get a drink order the food and then no he will sit there and he's getting he is good but yeah it's pretty it's really tough what are some of the other things you do well obviously iPad but again with the iPad he loves games so he's doing all the little puzzles and stuff on it um what else do we do painting even like I've got this little thing and he can like paint when we're out and about but it's only like a little just anything and everything I can get my hands on really or I'll bring his little animals obsessed with animals so I'll bring animals and what's one of the worst guilty parenting things you do stick him in front of the iPad so I can enjoy our meal yeah regularly every week every week not every day no he's not he's bored of the iPad to be honest is he which I think is a good thing yeah because I'm like again if you if I deprived him he'd probably be desperate to get on it now yeah whereas he's not he wants to interact more he wants to yes he wants to run but he's not as bad as he used to be he used to just get out you know he'd be like right i want to go and he'd run out the place where we're at whereas now he knows that's danger and so he will stay he just wants to have free reign he doesn't want to be confined contained and he wants to know if he's if he wants to just walk there for a minute he will and yeah it's complex it's a complex interesting battle it's nice to know that i'm not the only one going to do this and i think we think we're like these bad parents because we're like god why is he like this and you know am i doing it right we are so not alone okay so you you know you're pretty famous you've got a big following when you i guess there's an element of anxiety that comes with that if you're out for dinner in the public eye and then you're doing some of these guilty parenting tricks like how is that and what does that pressure feel like or does the community help you to resonate with other parents like you know what a lot of the people around who also have kids totally empathise and they are like they get it they're also in the same position you know whatever but then you'll often get like the odd sneery couple that are looking and they're thinking like i've literally got up and moved before because i think to myself i'm not going to subject them to to this it's not fair they're trying to have a nice relaxed meal and we've got a child here and it's true when i was didn't have children i didn't want to sit near children when i'm trying to relax no of course not because i don't like children i love them to bits it's the noise and you want to relax but you do get sneery couples now as well like looking at the ipad yeah but i just think to myself look until you're in it don't judge before i did used to say i'm sure i probably said oh well i don't know if i'd stick him in my child in front of the ipad i can't remember now but i might have i don't know i can't remember so no but i mean you all have those ideals um and then when you're in it you're just you're in it and you're trying to survive.