#568 - Danny McBride

24:16and I think I don't know what the second half of it is sometimes. You got to go back in that sinkhole. You left your phone in there. You got to get back in there. Your buddy was left behind. Got to get his body. Got to bring it up. And then at the end, you go to the cafe, and they put two raisins on top of that. That's how you win in the end. All right, folks. If you've got a little itch for some Bitcoin or you're trying to dip your toe into that crypto pond, then listen up because I've got something for you. Let me introduce you to MoonPay, the smoothest, easiest way to buy and sell crypto. Just use what you've already got, your credit card, debit, PayPal, hell, even Venmo.

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26:58Break the mold and own your ritual. Just one stick and 16 ounces of water hydrates better than water alone. Treat yourself to extraordinary hydration from Liquid IV. Get 20 % off your first order of Liquid IV when you go to liquidiv.com and use code THEO at checkout. out that's 20 off your first order with code theo at liquidiv.com stay hydrated i'm dried out right now better get some do you um see shane gillis sometimes have you seen him oh yeah i love shane have you gotten to meet him or no i have yeah we helped him uh produce uh tires his show he does you help him produce it yeah yeah i didn't even know that yep yeah because it's so funny that i There's times that I see him and I'm like, oh, there's something about him that it's not you, but there's something about the way he is.

27:52He's himself. He's himself, you know, not polished and just kind of shooting from the hip, you know? That's good. I think people respond to it. I think they like seeing that. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. He's a special guy. And just like one look, he's like, and you're in, dude. Yeah, he makes me laugh. He does, man. He makes everybody laugh. It's good and it's cool to see him. And like Tires was kind of a comedy that I think kind of changed things because there's jokes in there that I feel like they wouldn't put on Netflix 10 years ago or even five years ago. Yeah. And now it's changing. Do you feel some of that?

28:22You know, I feel like this. We've always tried to push it in everything that we've done. I've you know, I know people are like, oh, you can't make comedies about this, that anymore. But, you know, even when we made Eastbound and Down, it wasn't like they were asking for that. It wasn't like people were like, we need like a racist baseball player that cusses at kids and does cocaine. There wasn't like an ad in the trades for it. I think that you come in, you make something funny, and then that's what – that starts new trends. That makes people gravitate towards it. I think that obviously you see people getting in trouble for saying fucked up shit.

28:54But I also – I feel like it's very rarely you see people get in trouble for actually making something that is – I think people get in trouble sometimes rightfully so for saying bad shit. But I mean, I can't really think of where people really get in trouble for like making something that pushes the lines. I mean, maybe I'm like forgetting things, but I kind of feel like a lot of times people just want their ass to be kissed. And I think when you make something that pushes the boundaries, everyone's not going to kiss your ass. People will get upset about it. And you have to be cool with that being part of what goes with pushing the boundaries is that those boundaries are going to sometimes push back on you.

29:31And that's just part of the deal. So, yeah, I almost relate when you're saying that it makes me feel like it like if you tweet something, you're just saying something, you're looking for controversy. It's like, yeah, but if you go out and make like put out a conversation of something, then the response from people is different. It is tweet. People just argue. There's all type of shit. But you go and actually put a conversation out. Then it is more of like discussion and people at least respect that you had the conversation. I think so. I think that's what it is. I mean, obviously, you can be judged on whether it's good or not.

30:00But that's a different thing than whether if you're just putting something out there that's problematic and people get mad about it. It feels like that's honestly what you're asking for, right? When people put something out there that's controversial, it's made to have people start fighting, right? Isn't that part of how the whole thing works? I think so. Yeah, Shane just did SNL. Did you get to see any of it? I did. I saw a couple beers. That's pretty funny. I need a couple beers in my personal life. I think I will fix a lot of things. Oh, yeah. I mean, I fucking used to overdose over there in Charleston, especially on Halloween.

30:32Dude, one year I made out with three ladybugs, dude. Oh, just the creatures, the ladybugs, the actual insects? People dressed as them. Oh, perfect. And then you wet the bed and went sailing after that? Perfect. That's a perfect night out in Charleston. That's the Charleston decathlon right there, dude. Oh, yeah. Everything in Charleston seemed haunted. Did you – Shane just did SNL. Did you – you ever hosted SNL? I've never hosted SNL. Did you get asked to do it? Did you not want to do it? Was it a thing? You know, the— Is there any real gravity there, or am I just slurping around? No. Because I'll fucking shine this dick on myself if you need me to.

31:08You can. You shine there. You know what? I love SNL. I grew up watching it, and one of the first moves I ever did was Hot Rod, which was produced by Lorne Michaels. And when we were shooting Hot Rod, I met Bill Hader and Andy Samberg and Akiva and Yorma and all those guys, and they were just coming off their first year of SNL. And so it was cool. I liked those guys. And Lauren had actually kind of prodded me to see if I was interested in joining the cast. But it was the same exact week that we sold Eastbound and Down. And so I was like, as much as I'm flattered, this is what I'm going to go off and do.

31:44And then none of them ever talked to me ever again. Yeah. Odd, yeah. Well, after seeing Kenny Powers, how do you think Kenny Powers would pitch against some of today's hitters, do you think? I think he would have to juice it up, dude. He would. He would have to. Don't you think? I feel like there should just be a special league for just all the dudes who juice it up, right? Bring it up. There's an Olympics. There's a new dope Olympics they're starting up. I love it. That's a great idea. The Trump sun is starting up, which is kind of perfect. Is it really? It's an enhanced game, so they call it?

32:15Enhanced game, brother. Oh, dude. That's also what I call my erection a lot of times. This is something else. Yeah, because I'm one of those pills. But a group led by Donald Trump Jr. is infusing funding and some political muscle into the enhanced games. And so what's the thought process here? This will sort of – anybody who wants to dope it up will stay out of the regular leagues and they'll gravitate towards this? Is that what it is? Come over here. Yeah, it says he's offering$1 million for the first sprinter to break the 100-meter world record. Can you imagine some guy just – the rest of his body is falling off?

32:48No, they cross the finish line and their hearts explode. That's what happens if you win. Yep. Wow. How do you train for these events? I can't wait to see. It's just going to be superhumans leaping over houses. Well, I'll tell you how you train in our town. You would meet up with a guy behind the Winn-Dixie and get some Test 200. First of all, you would hide it from your wife and have to pull over on the side of the interstate and shoot. And you and your buddy who have been talking about how – who commonly referred against gay folks have to pull over and shoot it into each other's rear ends. Yeah, and then all your hair falls out and zits start forming on your back, and your wife is like, what is going on?

33:24What happened to you? But you're ready for the three-legged race with your buddy. You're going to do it. Yeah, I like that. That's what matters. I'll tune in. I'm in. You have your last season of Gemstones? Last season of Gemstones. I live in Charleston like we talked about, so I've been out in L.A. this week, just running around, running my mouth. This is my last day of running my mouth. It's wonderful. Oh, thank you, man. It really is cool. Save the best for last. Well, it's nice of you to say that and lie to me. But I will say that I waited in line one time to get a photo with you, like probably maybe 10 years ago somewhere.

33:59Really? Where? I think it was at Comic-Con. Oh, really? Yeah. Shit. It's pretty cool. I know people, when this show first started, I think everyone thought you were on the show. They always thought you were Tony Cavallaro. Oh, yeah. Tony's a buddy of mine. Yeah, you guys had that similar vibe, I think. Actually, honestly, when the first season came out, I remember I met with a reporter and they asked me what it was like to work with Theo Vaughn. Did they? Yeah. And I was like, that's not Theo Vaughn. Oh, I've had people come up to me and think I'm in the gym so 20 times. I'll play along with it.

34:30I like, yeah, but oh, this dude's so awesome, man. Tony's one of the greats. I love Tony. He's such a sweet guy. He really is. He's incredible. Whoa, somebody put her face right there. I didn't even notice that. Look at that one. No wonder some people think this shit. Oh, look at you, dude. Look at you. That's Trevor Wallace. That's hilarious. These days, you don't even know. This is the magic AI. Look at that. I'd buy it. I know. Wow. And very similar chests. Very similar. Yeah. How do you? I'm just noticing how much more rip Tony is now. Like, he was always strong. But, God damn, that dude got really strong over the last few years.

35:07Yeah. Well, he just has such a. Him and Divine, oftentimes, when we're shooting down Charleston, those guys have the same schedule. So every day that they're not working, they're just fucking pumping iron together. Are they? Just getting strong, spotting each other. Yeah. Yeah, dude. I remember they had a gay fella in our town. He was a drug dealer. So everybody wanted drugs. So also that's how you also kind of like met gay guys, you know, or at the first time. So they had the cool treats. Right. It was like, dude, yeah, these guys are fucking. But I think it did a lot for our town because some people who may not have like kind of like, you know, branched out more, you know, or just like had more questions.

35:44suddenly you were sitting there high as hell. Yeah. And then more gay people started kind of like. Drugs are the great equalizer, right? Oh, yeah. It crosses every boundary known. Oh, God, yes. Oh, were there real-life pastors that you used to, that you sent your gemstone pastors, like John Goodman and Baby Billy, do you send them, like, did you have them reflect on guys? Did you go watch? Did you get some front row tickets to some Osteen or what were you doing? You know what? A lot of it was just like watching videos and stuff and then actually kind of went around and I did it. I interviewed a few different pastors just before I told them what I was making a show about.

36:26And just, you know, for my own ideas, my own insight. And people were responsive. They talked to me. You know, my aunt, she actually sadly passed away just a few weeks ago, but she was a minister. So I talked to her a lot about the church. Really? What kind of church did she minister at? I feel like she was in Atlanta, and it wasn't a mega church, but it was one of those sort of these churches that can pop up in shopping centers and not look like your typical church. And she kind of moved into counseling after that as well. But I grew up in a household that was pretty religious. My mom, she did like puppet ministry when I was a child.

37:03She would like do the children's sermons and stuff like that. Oh, really? Yeah. And do they hide behind someone that is due out front? It's like a little – we had this like PVC pipe frame with felt over it. Yeah. And they'd hide behind there. And my mom had like boxes of these puppets and she would drum up these little scripts and, you know. And mostly Bible characters? No. Well, sometimes there would be, but sometimes they would just be these characters and they would have to learn Bible lessons, you know. God, that's crazy, right? It was like suddenly Paul Revere's in one of the scenes or something.

37:37Yes, exactly. But it was – Oh, that's cool. I grew up with all that stuff. So, yeah, this is exactly – that's the kind of shit we do right there. That was it. Oh, this is great, Tom. Yep. And – oh, my God, yeah. And the guy on the right, obviously. Yeah, he's learning stuff. He's learning about the – he's singing a song about sinkhole baby, you know, and about how Jesus raised him up out of the sinkhole and made him into a little raisin. Oh, that's cool, man. And yeah, I'm trying to think if we had any puppets like, no, what did we have? We had a guy who was missing one finger. Puppeting is a lot of shoulder work.

38:13People don't think about that. Got to have a lot of upper body strength. Yeah. You're a fucking, that's the French bulldog. Stay like that. The drama region. Yeah, you're really building those shoulders. Is your mom pretty proud of you? What's you guys' relationship like? We're good. We're strong. She moved. They lived in Virginia. And then when we moved down to Charleston, she moved there. My wife's from Los Angeles. You know, I met her out here. We were here for, I was here for like 20 years. And so when I convinced her to move to Charleston with us, you know, figured it was only right. Me, her, and the kids come down.

38:46Her mom, who's Angeleno, she moved down there too. So now for the first time in my life, I have like, I live in the same town as my parents. And yeah, it's kind of wild. Wow. That's so cool, dude. You like got to capture the whole dream. I think that's everybody's dream. I'm going to go. I'll show them I'll move I'll have the girl I'll have the family you know it's been it's it's been nice man I I always feel grateful for what we get to do and uh but the fact that like like this show all the shows we've done I've made it with all the my buddies that I've met in college you know guys I met when I was 18 years old were you know smoking weed together in the dorm rooms talking about movies and all this shit and now you know 25 years later we're all still doing the same stuff It's kind of awesome.

39:31Yeah. Yeah, I wonder. Yeah, I would like to get to meet a wife sometime soon. Where did you meet your wife? At a certain location? I met her. She was like a friend of my neighbor when I lived in this shitty apartment over in West Hollywood. And so it's just kind of one of those things where you don't have any money to go to any of these expensive bars or clubs when you're in your early 20s out here. Yeah, unless you're the fucking Rizzler, huh? Yeah, except for the Rizzler, you're going to Craig's, dude. Drinking two Pepsis after nine. Living that highlight. I didn't want to say anything, but yeah.

40:00His grades are down, but the money's up. That's his fucking life. I know. I went to college in North Carolina and moved here in 99. And man, this is a tough city to come into with nothing. It's hard living, I feel like, when you get out here and you're waiting tables and PA-ing and just doing all this stuff, making no money. It hurts. You can't go do anything. And every girl that's your age is dating someone who's 15 years older and successful. Dating Aerosmith or something. It's tough. Yeah, and they take a girl like on a world tour, and then you're like, I'm supposed to what, take her for a walk?

40:34How am I even going to compete? Dude, I remember on my birthday, I got out here. I've been out for like a year, and I bought a used refrigerator, right? I was saving – when I finally went and looked at the price, I was probably saving$60, right? Nightmare. I had to borrow somebody's truck to go get it out towards the receipt of it, get it back home. On my birthday, I spent my birthday doing this, I get it over to the door of our apartment, and it will not go in. And it's just a little too wide. So now I have to take the fucking doors. I just, I remember sitting against the wall crying. I was on steroids, but I was also sitting there just, and dude, parking spots were too small.

41:10You'd open the, you couldn't get out. You'd get a ticket and you would ding the, everything about LA was fucking impossible. Yeah. And it felt too, like when the city, the city could be against you, you know, like parking tickets, stuff like that. I mean, it just felt like when your day was bad, that's always when you would come out and there'd be a boot on your car and it would just get worse and worse. worse. And, and that's the other thing is when you're kind of living on the edge like that, it feels like no one gives a shit either. Like people would walk over you and if you were laying on the ground bleeding, you know, yeah, it was tough.

41:40Did you, um, did you ever do stand up to or no? I never did stand up. No. I mean, I, I didn't really, you know, honestly, I didn't even really have any ambitions to be an actor. It's like, you know, I went to film school to write and to make, I always kind of imagined I would just be behind the camera and, uh, you know, And that's true 100 %? 100%, yeah. I mean, yeah, I didn't have any ambitions of trying to be an actor at all. David Green, who was another classmate of mine, he made this movie called All the Real Girls. Bring it up. It's a beautiful film about first love in Appalachia. Ooh, really?

42:16Yeah, but he had an actor who backed out of the show the last minute, and it was an independent movie. And he just asked me to come down and play the role because he didn't have time to cast somebody else. And it was the very first time I ever acted in anything. And after Jody saw it, he wanted to make a movie. And he was like, well, you're the only person we know who's been in something. So it's funny that we thought that was a leg up. Just that dude right there we thought would somehow get something made. It's so crazy that when you go from an idea like even with this, like it was all emails.

42:52And then we show up one day on set and there was a real movie going on. Dude, I had to sit down for a while. I was like, oh my God, I thought everybody was just fucking around. And then it was a real movie and there was like people and people don't know what they're doing and people do know what they're doing. People are yelling and people are, but there was, it was like, oh my God, this is really it. And then you realize it's so hard to make something really too. Cause so many little things happen. Like we got pushed by the fire for a week and it was like, suddenly that changes everything. And you have, you don't know if people are.

43:19And then we had to shoot one day the day with Steve Little where it's like the winds were 40 miles an hour. We can't afford to reshoot. So it's like fucking pretend that the winds are 40 miles an hour. We had the same thing on Gemsons here. I mean that's what a lot of this stuff becomes is it becomes surrounding yourself with just strategists, like people on your team that just know how to solve problems. Because that's 100 % what all making anything is is you got your idea of what it's going to be. And then every day it's dealing with something that's coming your way to make it less than what you want it to be.

43:49And you've got to figure out how to navigate it. Yeah, when we shot the season of Gemstones, right near the end, there's this pretty specific location to this season. And I fought really hard to be able to get in this place and shoot there. But we only had limited time in the night before we had to shoot the last scene of the entire series. Hurricane Helena comes through that part of Carolina and just decimated everything. And this location that we're at, it's like 100-mile-per-hour winds, no power. and it's like there's no alternative you know we have to shoot this thing you have to just do it so it's like like well once these hurricane force winds die down maybe we'll try to get some extension cords and finish this thing off and that's exactly what we did it was crazy damn yeah it's i think it's just saying no matter what level things are at if you're doing something in your backyard and you and your brother plan to shoot something and then halfway through he doesn't like his attitude changes and he goes in the house yeah it's like it's always and that ruins it, whatever your little plan was.

44:46It's always something, right? There's always something that's going to show up. How do you know when a show is done like this? You know, I wasn't sure with this. I mean, I've been really lucky with HBO that they've always been real supportive of the stuff I want to do. And they're, they're awesome partners to have in this. And man, I think it kind of just came as we started writing this season. To me, it just felt like it. I felt like when I was starting to write it, like everything I was kind of gravitating towards was all about closure and sort of wrapping up these characters like longer stories.

45:16And so I kind of kept myself open while we were shooting, like in case I got any other ideas of like, maybe I'd come back and do another one. But as we kind of shot more and more, it just, it felt like it was the end. It felt like it. Yeah. And I don't know. TV is one of those things too, where it's a strange art form because if it's good, the reward is you just get to keep doing it and doing it and doing it. But sometimes that doesn't necessarily make for the best story, You know, just to have, you know, all right, this is like the 10th time these characters have almost died. Like Lost or whatever, that show.

45:45Yeah, where things can overstay their welcome. And, you know, I mean, people are getting hit with so many things these days. Like there's so many things vying for your attention. It's a lot to ask an audience to like stick with the show for 10 years or something. You know what I mean? And just think that your taste in 10 years will be the same as it was when the first season came out. So for me, I didn't want to stay in it longer than we needed to. I never wanted to make it something where it didn't matter. I always kind of wanted to make sure it was relevant and something we were all having fun doing and never kind of evolve into something that just feels like a job.

46:18Yeah. Was there something special that you like to do for your crew and stuff like that? Like you talk so much about like the guys that work for you and work with you. I'm sure you use a lot of the same crew and stuff too because you develop relationships. You know how people are going to work. You know what people will be there for you on those, you know, when it's 1 a.m. and you're like, what the fuck are we going to do right now? What's something you like to do for them? I've heard that you do nice things for them. Yeah, we just like to party. I mean, to me, I feel like it's one of those deals.

46:42We like to rock and roll. But I do feel like, you know, especially living down there, when you're asking people to come work on the show, you're asking them to, like, leave their lives, leave the comfort of their home, sometimes leave their spouse or their partner and come down there for, you know, six months to come work with you. I've been on stuff where I've been on location. And it's sort of like, yeah, good luck, buddy. You know, you're just going to end up you don't know anybody. You're sitting in a hotel room. It's the worst. And so I always just try to. At a Westin. Yeah, exactly. I just try to avoid that.

47:11I mean, obviously everyone's different. People want their own – sometimes people want to be left alone in the Westin. But I try to just make everybody feel like they're at home when they come there, like try to make them have a good time. And ultimately it's like for me, it's the whole idea that we get to make this shit is so much fun. Like I don't even watch these things after we're done. I don't even go back and watch any of this stuff again. My experience with it is like the act of making it. That feels like the climax to me. I oversee like every cut of this show in post. But yeah, once this stuff like is done, I'm kind of done with it.

47:46It kind of feels even the old movies from Pineapple to Tropic, it's like I'll see them at the premiere and then oftentimes just will never even see them again. I'll see clips of things online and be like, oh, that's crazy. I remember that. But I don't know. I just I have a lot of fun making this stuff. I like collaborating with people. like you were saying those problems that come up solving that stuff that feeling of accomplishment when you do sort of dodge a bullet like that's the excitement and the fun for me yeah i noticed i don't like the acting part i noticed i like the um giving somebody an idea and be like not telling the other actors and stuff and like try this yeah and then seeing what that what that creates yeah that's the beauty of it all yeah we had this one moment like spade is like taking this dog for a ride because the company he works for this company called last lap they give dogs rides like they're that are about to be euthanized or whatever.

48:33He gives them a couple more spins around town in his car. That's nice. That's a nice thing to do. Yeah, sweet guy. So he pulls up, and then it's like Kirk Fox, you know who he is? Kirk Fox pulls up next to him in a truck, and Kirk's just been looting in the air, I guess, at a stoplight. And he's like, what are you guys? You guys getting anything good? He's like, yeah, we just got a hot lead on JonBenet's wedding dress.

48:59And that came from your dome? That was out of your pocket? And I snuck over just like a fucking Navy SEAL. I just put this little fucking, I just shined that cock right in his soul. And then I went off and hid in the distance. And that's what I noticed. That's the only thing I always loved. I always liked, even when we were a kid, we would go like, not getting molested. It's called camping with people's dads, right? Getting molested. No, you were right. The first thing you said was right. It was like Cub Scouts or whatever. But I remember one time we left and I told everybody that Jay Leno had died, right?

49:32And you couldn't check back then. So the whole weekend you would hear the dads talking about it, kind of reminiscing about Leno and some of their favorite guests and shit. And I would be in my tent laying down, just crying out of my fucking little penis. I was crying out of laughing so fucking hard. Man, that kind of stuff was Boy Scout camps. I went to a Boy Scout camp when I was a kid. And I remember it was like we had this – our cub master was this – was one of the kid's dads. And it was him with 12 boys and we're camping. And he just got – over the course of the week, he just got stranger and stranger.

50:07And at one point, he just kind of like left, left the camp for a while and had been a bit since he had been back there. And every night, we would always notice that he'd go into his tent and he would just like lay down and put these headphones on and just kind of lay there. And so I was so curious, like, what is this motherfucker listening to? And I'm probably like 12 years old. And when he was gone, I snuck into his tent and I picked up his headphones and I put it on and hit play. They were like messages from his wife talking about how he was a good man. And like it made me terrified of the rub.

50:39Like, let's just get me home. This guy's sitting in here just like listening to his wife pump him up with those 12 boys in the woods. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. That's so sweet of her to make all that. Why did he need it, though? Like, that's what it was like. It seemed like the tires were about to fall off. Probably keeping him on the end of a fucking rope, dude. That's crazy, dude. I almost got sent home from that camp, too, because I pulled a knife on a kid. Not for real. No, of course not. But I had that, you know, when you're that age and you have your little knives, your little Boy Scout knives, you're constantly playing with it.

51:14And I guess this other troop walked past us and I'd pulled that knife out and they thought I was like fucking threatening someone. And I had to go into the office and explain myself, you know, and I got my knife taken away for the rest of the week. Yeah. Yeah, dude. There was something I remember like when I was a kid, we used to, well, we'd get one thing we do for fun. I remember the mosquito truck would come by and we get on our bikes and fucking ride behind it and just huff the gas. Just get high. bro we would be fucking cooked dude just like unbelievable a trail of dead mosquitoes around everybody's singing dude bro if i got went near a bird it would die after that like anything anything that could fucking hit the airwaves was dead i couldn't even pick up am radio bro i was like anything that could fly was it was that was something fun i remember i remember being in the woods and somebody would say like, I saw something.

52:09And then you would run the fear that went, you didn't see anything. Somebody did. And they started to leave. And suddenly you were alone. Even if you were one step alone in the woods from your friend, it was like, it's going to get me. There was unknown. Oh yeah. We said, I was the best. I grew up in Virginia and it was a neighborhood that was like brand new. It was like in the eighties. And like, so it was all woods and stuff and all construction. It was all like, they were just building one of those big subdivisions. And And we were like one of the first houses in there. And so me and my friends would just have like the run of that place.

52:38I mean, we were constantly doing that. But there was like this one construction site. And we were young. This was probably like fourth or fifth grade. We would just like go there at nighttime and just like take all their lumber and their shit and go make ramps and go build tree houses. And there was this one house that we kept doing it to. And it was a construction site. We built like a tree fort with all the wood. And I guess the guys who were building the house found out where it was at. And we came out to our tree fort. And they had like ripped everything down. They had like taken it all down.

53:02so then that next day we went to that place and we fucking destroyed that house we took cinder blocks and threw it through the walls we were like these 4th graders thinking we're just going to show these guys there's some family that has to stay at home just no sense but it was like we took it personally we stole that lumber fair and square these motherfuckers they're going to fuck on our diamond back freestyle bikes our BMX bikes just thinking we ran that shit dude Dude, I'm trying to, oh, we had a glitter, I don't know if it was a glitter truck. I think it was a glitter truck that toppled over like in the interstate near us.

53:37And it was like, and it was like kind of, I guess a windy time of year. And our fucking town had glitter in the area for two years. In your lungs, everywhere. I mean, you couldn't even. You just think you'd meet somebody and half of them would fucking. They're shining. It's crazy, dude. Those are good days. It is crazy how if you have a construction site, if you're building a house, if any kids in the neighborhood, all they do is get in there and break shit. They have no concept of like, someone's paid money for this. Someone's waiting to move their family in. It just is looked at as like, this doesn't matter.

54:12No one lives here, so we can do what we want. God, those are the best times, man. I enjoy using acorns. I enjoy setting it up. I got it set up for my nieces and nephews. to help them start to save, right? To recognize and look at money and finances and just have it be a part of their existence. Acorns is a financial wellness app that makes it easy to start saving and investing for your future. You don't need to be an expert. Acorns will recommend a diversified portfolio that matches you and your money goals. You don't need to be rich. Acorns lets you get started with the spare money you've got right now, even if all you've got is spare change.

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55:47Compensation provides incentive to positively promote Acorns. tier four compensation provided investing involves risk acorns advisors llc an sec registered investment advisor view important disclosures at acorns.com slash thio you know i'm still recovering from 2024 jeepers i don't know how what what i still am i know it's march i know it's my here i am that's just who i am life in general can be chaotic but if you're in charge of order fulfillment for an e-commerce business you know that's its own special kind of chaos but with ShipStation, you can count on your day-to-day remaining calm. Save hours and money every month by shipping from all your stores with one login, automating repetitive tasks, and finding the best rates among all the global carriers.

56:32Using ShipStation helped us ship, helps us get packages in and out. We got to get some of this, some of that Celsius is sending a new, we got to get merch boom ship station they're there you never need to upgrade ship station grows with your business no matter how big it gets calm the chaos of order fulfillment with the shipping software that delivers switch to ship station today go to shipstation.com and use code theo to sign up for free trial. That's shipstation.com code T H E O. Yeah. That's the stuff that I think sometimes about getting older. It's like, do you ever start to think like that?

57:16You only get to do so many things. Does that start to become a thing in your head at all? I mean, you've been, you know, so proclivative or whatever it's called, but, um, prophylactics, prophylactics. Yeah. You've been so prophylactic, you know, and, but do you ever start to think about that? Like, shit, I got you know or is it kind of like i know i've had a good amount of time to make what i've wanted i i you know i i sense it with my kids you know when i was living out here in los angeles like we lived up off of mulholland and my son was like you know he was you know he was like in kindergarten he's starting to like you know well he's like i want to learn to ride a bike and i'm like why you're never going to be able to like ride a bike up here on mulholland you know and i started seeing that i'm like oh he's not going to have the uh the same experiences i had that level of freedom of just kind of like coming home from school, dropping your book bag off and just like taking off until the sun went down.

58:04And, um, that stuff is important. You know, that little bit of independence, I kind of kept feeling like every time he got to play with somebody, there was always like me and my wife happened to like orchestrate it and sit there in the background watching them play. And, you know, and I, that was kind of one, honestly, like the main reason why I wanted to move back to the South is I just kind of want to go somewhere where he could, you know, unleashed. You could get on a bike and have a little bit of freedom and kind of have that, you know, it feels like you can always move to the big city, but it's definitely harder if you're a city boy to kind of like go back, you know, go somewhere small.

58:37So I kind of wanted them to have a little bit of that, of that sort of life, a little taste of that, you know, and yeah, because like you said, it goes by quick, you know, it's pretty soon, you know, you can't just go destroy a construction site without ending up in prison. You know, I wanted him to be able to go destroy some destructive sites and just get a slap on the wrist. Yeah, some drywall. Yeah, I want him to fucking beat up some drywall. Yeah, I moved to Nashville a few years ago and I like it over there. I just live in like a regular neighborhood. My neighbors are just like, soccer coach, it's like just, it's neat, you know?

59:10I like it. It's more peaceful. It feels just like a very small city. Yeah, Nashville's fun. I like it down there. I think it's cool. It's fun over there, definitely. And yeah, it's like, Chattanooga's fucking great. You've been there? I haven't been there. god dude it's fun huh yeah it's just like there's like mountains whitewater rafting it's all it almost everything you wish was in nashville that isn't yeah and it's smaller feels good oh i gotta go over there i'd never even been to nashville until we moved to charleston i think my wife and i were just like looking for what was a quick trip away and nashville was so close that we saw but i think it's fun down there so chattanooga though i gotta check that out chattanooga is beautiful man they have this beautiful walking bridge where you walk it's like it used to be a bridge but they shut it down or whatever because it couldn't bridge anymore or whatever.

59:52So basically, it's just like a... It stopped bridging? Yeah, it's just like a brave road, really, at that point. But they turned it into a walking bridge and so they built like a newer one next to it. But it's... Yeah, but just the whole area is awesome, man. It's beautiful. They have a place called Lookout Mountain there where you can see like seven states or something from it. A lot of Civil War shit if you're big into Civil War reenactments and shit. Like, my buddy's dad used to referee those and shit so we'd go watch those a lot and like... So I love that kind of shit. Me too. I love a fucking cannon, dude.

1:00:22I love Civil War stuff, too. I grew up in – after we left California, I grew up – I spent most of my time in Fredericksburg, Virginia. So there's a ton of Civil War stuff there. Yeah. In my backyard, I'd find like Civil War bullets and stuff. I mean we were all – that stuff loomed heavily over my childhood just because it was so close. I mean I even have a buddy that his old man would put on night vision goggles and go out to the National Park battlefields and go metal detecting because that's a federal question. crime you're not allowed to go do that shit and he uh he would go out there and just like outrun those park rangers and just get bullets and bayonets and like all this stuff we'd always like play around with all that stuff in his garage it's kind of amazing he's writing his dad in prison dear dear dad thanks for the rusty bayonet it was worth every minute bro that shit was a big part of growing up in this house somebody like dude they found arrowheads on our property rusty shit they found a fucking canteen from 70 years ago that was a huge thing about growing up in the South.

1:01:21It is my buddy, uh, who's who still lives back there. I went to go visit him, uh, a few years ago and, uh, we were supposed to catch up in Virginia. We're going to catch up downtown for a few beers. And he, and he's like, Hey man, come back behind the high school here. Like, uh, I want to show you something. Uh, here we go. But, uh, I went back behind the school and we kind of like walked down to the woods and we come down there and he's found this place that he's like completely like roped off. Like it was an archeological dig site. And I'm like, what the fuck is going on back here? And he's like, man, uh, I think I found like an old Indian camp here.

1:01:55And he started showing me all this shit that he had found. It was like weird, like pottery and arrowheads and all this stuff. And it was amazing. He found it on his own. And he was just like, yeah, man, if you, there's so much of that stuff here that basically, if you just like look for someplace that had like access to water and had a lot of sunlight during the course of the day, that nine times out of ten somebody would have saw that as a place to set up camp and you start digging around and it's all under there and like man it was it was cool but it made me start looking at everywhere a little differently you know it's cool yeah dude they had a guy who hid a treasure do you see that he hid treasure for like 10 years somebody finally found it oh wow he hid a couple million dollar treasure and it finally got found a few years ago he made like a treasure like a story about it oh gotcha so he had like a little like put a call out scavenger hunt and people looked for it for years.

1:02:41A couple people died looking for it. Oh, that's sick. God, I used to always want to look for bodies on the side of the interstate. That's my big thing. Oh, you were just trying to make a sequel to Stand By Me? Just trying to find Broward's Flowers, whatever the fuck his name was. Yeah, Stand By I-65 is what it's going to be called. But yeah, that's something that I always wanted to do. I want to ask you about your kids before you leave. What's something that you admire about your children, if you're okay talking about your children? Yeah, of course. You know, I just... Because it was cool of you to leave for the, you know, that one of the reasons you wanted to leave, that was for them.

1:03:11It's kind of neat. Like, you know, to be able to make, do choices like that, like with social media, just like to make kind of like choices that are for the betterment of yourself or others is pretty, it's harder to do these days than I think people think. So it's something that it seems pretty neat that you're able to do. But yeah, go on. Yeah. Well, you know, my, like I said, my wife is from Los Angeles. She grew up here. So she had never really lived outside of California. And I liked LA. I liked living here. I had a blast, but yeah, once I had kids, I, it wasn't like I thought they would have like a terrible childhood growing up here, but I just knew that there were going to be certain things that they wouldn't be exposed to, uh, that I just thought would be useful for them to be exposed to.

1:03:47And my wife and I, we headed down to Charleston, uh, for a long weekend to kind of like, just take a look at it without the kids and just sort of like, could we do this? Like, could we make a run at this? What are we going to do? And we had looked at some houses and then we were kind of sitting in this bar, just having a drink, kind of like writing down on a napkin, like the pluses and minuses, like how realistic it would be. And I remember looking out the window and there was like, group of probably, you know, 10 kids, like probably between the ages of like seven and 15 on skateboards and bikes and jean shorts, no shirts, carrying fishing poles, not a parent in sight.

1:04:21And I was like, yeah, we got to move here. Like, this is like exactly what I want our kids to be able to do is just that I want them to be able to like be free to kind of like explore the world and to see things without having to worry about them so much. And so that was cool. And And I mean, my kids are just, I don't know, my daughter is like insanely funny. She's like, she's 10 years old. And she is. I mean, like, honestly, like before she even talked, she was giving people the bird, flicking people off. Like I channel her in that character, Judy, the sister in Righteous Gemstones. You do? I do.

1:04:55I channel my daughter in that a lot of times. Dude, I got to interview that lady one time. She's the most talented. She's the best. He's amazing. That's so funny that you would channel even like a child. Yes. And Edie and my daughter have a very special relationship. Edie calls it that they're in the Bad Girls Club. And so every time Edie talks to my daughter, she'll be like, Bad Girls Club. And Pena will give her a high five. But, yeah, my daughter came by the set this year. And there was a dead body on the set. Not a real one. And there was like fake blood. And she was like kind of obsessed with like, what is this?

1:05:31There's fake blood. Like, what is that? And I started realizing, oh, man, she doesn't have any concept of what this is or what I do when I leave. And she kind of got really obsessed with this idea of fake blood. And our props master gave her this big tub of, like, you know, fake movie blood. Oh, that's great. And she uses it all the time. Really? She'll call us in and she'll be, like, laying in the shower with, like, blood coming out of her belly button and out of her neck and pretending to be she's a sicko. Yeah, it seems like things are going good over there. What I would, dude, my brother, so my dad was like real old when I was born.

1:06:07My dad was 70. He was an older man, you know. And so my brother used to do this thing. I've talked about it before on my comedy show, but he'd be like, dad's dead. He'd come in the room, right? That was his bit. Because dad was like, you know, dad would be 79. Dad's dead. He'd come in. I'd be doing something. He'd be like, dad's dead. And I'd be like, you know, the first time I was like, no, no, don't, you know. and I'd go in there and he would be alive, right? And then it got to this is where I knew this is when something I think got weird maybe in my head because I would be like, he better fucking be dead or I'm going to beat your ass, right?

1:06:44It became like just the whole juxtaposition of that little thing in my head. Like if I'm going to get up now. I better see a dead body. I'm going to be pissed off. Yeah, that bastard. And then look, you got older and you did that to other people by telling people Jay Leno was dead. That's true. You helped spread that trauma. Yeah, dude. I love that kind of stuff. Yeah, there was something so much fun about being young. And Michael Landon was supposed to come to our town one time and meet people at the fair. And my mom got all dressed up and went, and he didn't come. Oh, that's a bummer. That was a heartbreak.

1:07:16Is that why you have that Michael Landon cutout there? Yeah, we like to have that. I'm a big Highway to Heaven fan. I'm a big Victor French fan. You kind of look like a young Victor French, actually. I'll take that. I loved Highway to Heaven. God. That was good. It was so good. I wouldn't have pegged you for a Highway to Heaven fan. That's good to know. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Dude, we grew up on that, TBS, like the Olsens. Oh, yeah, look at him. Yeah, dude. Yeah, he's a good dude. Look at that. Yeah, that's very you. I think we could do that. I could see you being Michael Landon. I think we could. Let's redo Highway to Heaven.

1:07:47That's the next thing. Let's do it, dude. We'll call Highway to Hell. How about that? Yeah, dude. It would be just one off-ramp. Yeah, we just meet people and ruin their lives. That's what we do. It reminds me of the movie Family Man. Have you seen that movie? Which one is that? With Nicolas Cage. It's a Christmas movie. Oh, yeah, yeah. It's been a long time. But, yes, I remember that film. I love that movie, dude. That's one of my favorites. The first movie I ever saw, I think, was, yeah, that's it right there. Did you ever get to work with Nicolas Cage? I haven't, but I'm such a fan of his, man.

1:08:18He's so awesome. Yeah, he seems so interesting. Yeah, and that little turn he had in Long Legs last year, I mean, how scary is that? Dark arts. Dark arts, yes. Satan shit. Yeah, dude. I think we need more of it. You know what I'm saying? That's definitely what I think. When I look at the state of the world, I feel like what the world needs now is more devil. Let's fucking party, dude. Let's amp this bitch up. Was there ever something weird, like once you started making some money? Because making money is an interesting thing, right? Like some people really get into it and that's their thing. But it's like, were there ever like a team that you wanted to invest in or some interesting thing that like, you know, that somebody might consider?

1:08:55Was there anything like that for you? Man, I don't think I have ever. I mean, I think growing up without any money, it's like the moment you get your hands on some, you just try to suck it away because you're thinking they're coming to take it at any moment. Oh, yeah. So I need to start being a little bit more ambitious with my spending, though, and just relax a little bit probably. Yeah, that time I'm just scared. It's like, well, what if, yeah, just scary. And then also, what do I really want? Yeah. You know? I think I want to start like a halfway house But that makes clothing too dude Oh yeah put those fuckers to work Be like this shirt's dope That's kind of a dumb joke but thank you for laughing at that I like it I like it it is dope Thanks dude Yeah what was something else that I was thinking about Because I'll never see you again but I was just trying to think of what it is You don't think we'll ever see each other again is this it No it'd be awesome if we did I feel like we might Do you get impressed by a lot of the Stuff that you see out there Like do you get inspired like you'll see a movie you'll see something you make it makes you want to keep making more do you think you'll take a little bit of a break what do you kind of think or you already have something you're making that no i think i'm going to take a little bit of a break i mean i like i said earlier like my hobby is basically writing and creating you know so i'm sure i won't stop that but uh you know it takes a lot to make something like this gemstones i've been on this now for you know seven years of working on this thing full time and uh you know i'm looking forward to just chilling out for a little bit and spending time with the fam but uh as soon as you start doing that then you'll get an idea for something else.

1:10:19And so I feel like I'll always want to make stuff, but, uh, it's also good to just enjoy your life a little bit too, and not be so worried all the time about what's going to be next and just kind of take it easy. Yeah. That's it. Yeah. I get, I get definitely caught up. Like I have to do this or this, but then sometimes I do start to notice a little bit more. Like I want to chill out cause I want to give my brain time to think. So it's fun for me. It's like, so it can, it can heal. Yeah. That would used to be the most fun doing your brain gives you an idea and it just makes you laugh. You're by yourself or whatever.

1:10:46Totally. Yeah. And then you got to share it. What about your son? You said about your daughter. What about your son? My son, he's just gotten into lacrosse. You know, Tony Cavalero, actually, he's helped us out. Tony Cavalero is a big deal in the lacrosse world. I don't know if you knew this or not. I didn't know that at all. Yeah, he's a big deal. And my son has shown an interest in it. So Tony has kind of pushed us in the right direction of getting him into a cool team. And that lacrosse shit is pretty cool, man. And I've been with him through all his different interests of sports from baseball to football.

1:11:17And, you know, you go on to those little parks and rec teams and it's always just some kid's dad coaching, you know. The lacrosse shit, though, is like the coaches are young. They're like athletes right out of college. I feel like the kids just respond to them in a different way than they do somebody's dad. You know, it's cool. It's good to watch. Huh. Yeah, that's interesting. I've never heard anybody even talk about that except for this girl, Mubi, that works with Barstool Sports. She played lacrosse. So I would see her. Oh, one of my friends from New York would talk about it sometimes. Yeah, I didn't know anything about it at all.

1:11:49And then I watched it. I'm like, this shit is hardcore. I mean, they, like, knock each other down on the ground, hit each other with these sticks. And I was surprised my son was even into it. I saw him getting out there whacking people. I'm like, oh, damn, here we go. What does he admire about it, you think? I don't know, man. I think that the stick is pretty cool. But, you know, you got those pads. The gear is pretty awesome. But, I mean, it is a pretty rough and tumble sport. Is there ever moments? And you can. Like that. You just knock the shit out of people and knock them on the ground. And you see kids doing that.

1:12:20You see them doing it. And you're like, oh, you're allowed to do that. They don't stop it or anything. That's like part of the game. It's kind of pretty badass. Boom. Look at that. I've seen a 10-year-old do that to another 10-year-old. God, that's beautiful. God, you got to stop and drink that. Is it interesting whenever you see your kid, like say you take him to lacrosse and he likes it, is it interesting that you learn something about him by watching him start to like something? Totally. Yeah, you start trying to think. I mean, parents are probably – the worst thing you can do is kind of like always push your kids into what you're into and expect that – using their childhood as a way to kind of like work out all your demons.

1:12:57It's like I try not to do that with my kids. I don't even think my kids even like movies. It's like I've tried to like have movie nights with them and stuff, and they're like, yeah, we're good. They don't see it. You're part of that dying art form. I got no interest. I want to watch Mr. Beast. I want to watch them Beast Squid Games. Yeah, dude. That shit is pretty good, some of it. It is good. I like all that shit that they watch. I think it's fun. There's that one kid. I think his name is Ryan Trainor or something. He does the stuff where he has 10 cents, and he tries to make money to get across the country.

1:13:30I haven't seen him. Pull him up, Ryan Trainor. I think that's his name. But I like this stuff, dude. I like watching. I'm like, no wonder y 'all aren't watching movies, man. You guys have this all dialed in. Yeah, he'll start with a penny and figure out a way to get across the country with just starting with that. Well, I've never – oh, Ryan Trahan. Trahan, that's what it is. I've never even heard of this. And it's crazy. So this video has 60 million views, right? It's crazy how much is out there that you've never even heard of, and you'll be exposed. You'll be like, oh, this is amazing. Yeah, it's really cool.

1:14:00Wow. I'd like to meet this kid. There's a guy, there's these kids, Colby and Sam, that are like these ghost hunter kids I want to get to meet. It's, I was never brave enough to vlog. We just had some streamers in, and that lifestyle is insane, man. Eight hours in a row. It's wild, huh? Dude, and think about that. Eight hours, right? And you have to be yourself, so you can't really hide who you are at all. And then you have to go home. Yep. And then come back and it's. And do it all over again. I know. It takes a different type of brain to do that. That's what they like, though, I think. I mean, he watches kids play video games.

1:14:33And I try to get my head around that. I'm like, but you know what? I do remember being a kid, like, over at your friend's house, sitting around the couch, watching somebody try to beat a game. And this shit was fun. Yeah. You know? Yeah, that's a good point. I guess they're just not doing it maybe together as much. But maybe they are. I don't know. This could be a phase in time. I mean, we would go play at the church parking lot, dude. Anybody that would answer the door on the way down the street, it was three or four blocks to get down there. If you answered the fucking door, you were playing defense, right?

1:15:02So we would knock on the doors about 3.40 in the afternoon, walk down there, and there was a hole. Somebody, I don't know who put it out there, like the devil or whatever, but in the field, they had a field in front of the church off of Highway 190 over there in Covington, and sometimes every two years, somebody would step into the hole and break their leg or ankle. Perfect. That's what it was there for. That's it, dude. That's a fucking free safety, bitch. That's what that is. that was crazy though but yeah if you answer the door you had to come play man and we would get on our bikes and we would ride they had like a ride probably about a mile and a half over this place called pat's shrimp and video right oh i like that you get a bag of shrimp right it wasn't all you could eat but it was like all they could put in the bag and you would get to rent a movie dude i love that god dude terminator we get store don't you i miss that stuff that was fun there was nothing Dude, I went to the last Blockbuster in Oregon probably two years ago.

1:15:58And these are the things I found fascinating about it. For one, you're not just stuck with what the platform, like the app or whatever we look on it now, Netflix, et cetera, is putting in front of you, like those 10 or 12 movies at a time. You get to kind of consciously wander, and you're like, oh, I forgot about this movie, right? Oh, what? No way. He was in that. They did a movie together. You see all of these fronts of movies. You'll see 300 of them while you're in there. And you'll be like, drama, I'll do with that. Different ones, like diabetes is a section. Some of the sections have gotten a little bit more casual than before.

1:16:33Pretty specific, yes. I'm going to get me a good diabetes movie this weekend. This is what I want to watch. Yeah, I want to see these lactose intolerant films, whatever. But it's a totally different experience than it was. It's in Bend, Oregon, which is a great place. if you only about four, five nice months out of the year at all, though, to be honest with you, a lot of bad stuff. That's why they got that blockbuster still in business, man. They needed it. But your brain would be like, oh, what do you, and you talk with your friend, what do you think about this? You would kind of discuss it. It just like, it was much more, it was so much different than, oh, I'm just going to pick one off of here.

1:17:08It didn't even feel the same. I think movies needed it. I do. I think that like when you have access to all of it, it makes all of it not that special. And I think weirdly there was something about, Like if you went to the video store and you wanted to see a movie and it wasn't in, it made you instantly think that that movie was a bigger deal than anything. And then like when you finally got it, you would have all this other stuff invested in like, you know, wow, I'm so lucky I got under siege. It's here. It's in my house. Steven Seagal. He was. Yeah, dude. Van Damme. When I was growing up, that shit was blood sport.

1:17:42I can't believe that that's a genre that doesn't really exist. You're just like, are there no 20-year-olds who know martial arts that are good-looking, that can just whip ass and be action heroes? What is going on? People don't want to see that anymore? That's a great point. Yeah, that kind of stuff doesn't exist. I just watched Interstellar the other day. That was cool. But yeah, that genre doesn't exist, man. Garbage pill, kids' cards, we ride and get those bitches. Yeah, that stuff was good. That's good living. Oh, you'd get your ass beat. You'd just sit there watching Highway to Heaven. That's us, dude.

1:18:15We got this. I don't know, dude. Yeah, dude. Look at that. Look at that. Yeah. I look like I've obviously done some cocaine. And you look like. Yeah, that looks like me, unfortunately. That looks like me after I've watched some of them diabetes films. Got a little too deep into it. You'll be the Wilford Brimley, dude. That's right. Dude, my dad bought this car off like some kind of blackish, you know, kind of black guys that live by us. And it was like some guys that were in the culture with the big speakers in the car. And at that time, it was white and black guys that had speakers in the trunk.

1:18:50But he bought a Cutlass off of him and he would listen to like Paul Harvey and shit like in his car. And it would just blast this bass in there. Just low bass for no reason. Paul Harvey. Yeah. That's how it was in my high school, too. It's like all the – you could count that any kid who had like the shittiest car would have just straight up stadium speakers in the back. Unreal. Every screw rattling in the car. Fucking unreal, dude. That was so much fun, man. Being alive has been fun, huh? Yeah, not too bad. We'll see. It's been an adventure. Do you like parenting? Is it something that you really enjoy doing?

1:19:24Do you kind of like, was that something that you, what is something surprising that you found about parenting? And then we'll get you out of here. Man, you know, I do like it. I think it's fun. You know what's fun about it, man, is like, you know, I try to stay pretty involved in my kids' lives. Like, I don't want to, I know it goes by quick and I don't want to like miss it all and then have all these regrets, you know, when my kids don't want to talk to me when they're all grown. I try to take my kids to school every morning. But, you know, it was fun as they got into school, like going back, like walking in for a parent-teacher conference and having to sit in those little chairs and talk to the teacher and be like, I forgot all about this shit.

1:19:59And you just remember all these feelings and emotions of what comes around with the first day of school. And I don't know. And then just seeing childhood from this side of it, and you kind of also realize how short it is. When I was a kid, I thought my parents' whole existence started when I began. And that was their whole life. And then you kind of realize, man, that time period was just a blink in the eye for them. And it's the same. I feel like it goes by so quick. My son's like 13. He's going to be in eighth grade next year. And I already find myself just getting sappy and sad, just like, it's been a good run.

1:20:30I've really enjoyed raising you. Yeah, because I guess once they hit, like, yeah. They don't need you as much. I mean, already now it's like we at nighttime, you know, we'll all sit down to hang and he'll be upstairs on the game or talk with his friends. You kind of it happens quick. Damn. Yeah. Does it hurt a little bit? You can't really express that to him because that's kind of weird. Yeah, it does hurt a little bit. But you also it's good. You know, you want him to be independent. You don't want him just sitting there trying to suck off the teat, you know, for too long. You need him to kind of get out there and want to spread those wings.

1:20:59Yeah. Have you ever wanted to pull off like a heist or something? That's my last question for you. Yeah, of course. Who hasn't, man? Rob somebody? Yeah. Fuck yeah. I'm not even talking about a corporation. I'm talking about just some sucker walking down the street with a nice watch on. If you were to do a bank robbery, you had to go in there with a couple of guys. Who do you bring in there with you, Danny? Well, I think after this wonderful conversation, I feel like you'd be game. I'd bring you in. I'd bring Tony Cavallaro in. Maybe you guys could confuse people by them not knowing who's who. That could be a good distraction.

1:21:35I'd take the whole gang of righteous gemstones in there, man Even John Goodman, he's got He can throw down I think we can take anybody We'd take all that money Well, he beat all that fat he had Yeah, he did He beat the shit out of that He sure did And John is such a massive dude He's so tall He really? Yeah, he's in a towering presence Well, he was a spat There was a rumor that he had lived in Bogalusa, Louisiana So he was always one of these rumored people That lived in the distance, you know So there was always a strong love for John Goodman from Louisiana area. Yeah, he's a really – I grew up always loving him, always.

1:22:11And it was insane to be able to get to work with him on this show. It'll be one of the things I'll miss the most about making this show was getting to see him every season. Really? Yeah, he was great. Awesome. What makes him so great? I mean, obviously, he's a generational talent. He's a father – he's been a father to half of America over time. He just – I mean you look at him. It's like he was making TV shows when TV wasn't cool and he would still be able to go pop in and work with the Coen brothers. And he just was doing his own thing and been doing it for this long and always funny, always good.

1:22:45I mean he never shows up in something and it's not impressive. And yeah, it's funny. Like even being an actor and looking around, you look at it and you're like most people have maybe a handful of years in them. Like you look at people and you really do. Like I would think about actors that I saw in movies when I was a kid and you'd kind of be like, oh, man, what happened to that person? You know, like and you'd kind of look at their filmography. You're like, oh, man, most people only have a span of a few years, maybe even a decade. And then they kind of disappear. Good point. Just like with your favorite sports players.

1:23:15Yeah. And then – but you look at a guy like Goodman and how long he's been working. And you realize like that's no easy feat in that he stays relevant and he stays good and the stuff he chooses is cool and the roles he plays are cool. It's, you know, it's admirable. Yeah. Yeah, Carol O 'Connor is buried not far from my apartment in Westwood. Oh, wow. And I'll take people over there a lot of times if they're visiting in town or whatever. And he's definitely one of my favorites because of In the Heat of the Night. Oh, yeah. God, that show is so good. Oh, I like your TV picks, dude. You're an In the Heat of the Night guy in Highway to Heaven.

1:23:52Yeah, I just love, I love like kind of Southern kind of, I just, yeah, I love those things, man. Those are some of my favorites for sure. But what was I going to – who was I? Oh, Carol O 'Connor. Who else is buried there? Marilyn Monroe. Boom. Same cemetery. In the same coffin, I hear. Errol. That's good. I heard she's working nights. They doubled them up. Errol Flynn. I'm just going to keep advertising this place. Errol Flynn. Oh, Hugh Hefner is buried there also. Walter Matthau. Wow. So which cemetery is this? Is that Hollywood Forever Cemetery? No, it's in fucking Westwood. Dude, you wouldn't even know it.

1:24:27it's behind a building you're like what the fuck it's like behind a next tail building it does there's no other like blocks of grass anywhere near it it's just like big buildings tall huge buildings and then there's this one little bitty it's a it's fucking 40 square yards wow that's that got some kings in that bitch a lot of persons in there too a lot of names you can't really pronounce but that's it right there dude walter matthouse in that bitch dude that's what's so crazy about la is i feel like the la has done a really shitty job of like maintaining the history of this place. You know, like I feel like every time I try to rent an apartment back in the day, everyone would tell you like, oh, Charlie Chaplin lived down the street.

1:25:02Charlie Chaplin was here. But you're like, you realize this shit is it is these people mean something to people. And the idea that like so much gets built and torn down, like I feel like you look at Hollywood Boulevard, you're like, man, this should just be like colonial Williamsburg. This should be some shit where you just walk in and it looks exactly like it used to back in the day. That's a great point. You know, it's like this is such a unique there's such a unique history to this place that, you know, it's kind of sad that all you can do is go to a little cemetery to go see these things. It'd be kind of cool if you could walk in the same bars and restaurants they did.

1:25:35Or you go by their apartment. If you get to go by the apartment that Walter Matthau lived in. Yeah, I think it would mean something to people. It really would. That's a good point. I never thought about that. Yeah, because you'll go like, we'll preserve some places like Charleston preserves their history. I like a lot of like, but yeah, Hollywood just kind of, Hollywood's never had much of a memory kind of, I feel like. Like it just – Well, and it's a thing. I think in the day everyone's just trying to survive. But now when you kind of look back at what Hollywood is, you're like, wow, there's some pretty influential things.

1:26:03And people that have been around here and some of these places that people take for granted are – they have like cultural and historical significance. Fuck. You're right, Danny. Take that. Take that. Season four of Righteous Gemstones. Adam Devine is coming in too to talk to us. Oh, good. I know. He's just going to sit here and lie his ass off. That's all he does. Yeah, he also – he complains that he, like – he said he was getting that shin thing where he gets elongated or whatever. Yeah, yeah. He's made up a lot of stuff. He's a good – he's a sweet man. I really – he'll be like another one that I'll miss seeing him every year.

1:26:35He's so awesome. Yeah, it's weird when a set ends, when the shoot ends. It's just like – it's like the last day of school. Yeah. Everybody's saying goodbye to everybody. You're getting all these photos, and then the next day or two, you're just sitting in – Yeah, everything's like back to normal. It's all – yeah. But hopefully I get to keep in touch with a lot of these people. Oh, for sure. Walton Goggins and Edie Patterson. You know, I met them on Vice Principals, and both of them are like two of my closest friends. Oh, really? Yeah, so hopefully I'll get to keep in touch with these people. We played a family.

1:27:04Maybe we need to act like one. Yeah. I like that challenge. Daniel, everybody, thanks so much for all the entertainment, dude, all the inspiration. And, yeah, I just really appreciate your time, man. I hope you continue to make fun stuff. I'm sure you will. and congrats on getting to spend time with your kids. Thank you, man. I hope you put that dick laser to good use, okay? Don't you fucking worry. Don't you fucking worry. I'm putting this on some fucking bitches back at the UFC fight this weekend. Thank you so much, man. Thank you, buddy. You bet. Thanks for this gift. Yeah, very nice. You're going to use it.

1:27:34I can already tell. Now I'm just floating on the breeze and I feel I'm falling like these leaves. I must be cornerstone. Oh, but when I reach that ground, I'll share this peace of mind I found. I can feel it in my bones, but it's gonna take...