#586 - Nigel Ng (Uncle Roger)

24:06Yeah. And is often described as a savory or meaty flavor. Cheese has a lot of it, see? Cheese. So when you eat pizza, that's why it's so good, you know? It is perceived through taste receptors that respond to compounds like glutamate, inosinate, and guanylate, which are abundant in food such as meat, cheese, tomatoes, and mushrooms. Yeah. I'll bring you around some Asian restaurants. Food is my thing, you know? I do comedy about food now. Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah, I know. I want to get into some of that. I want to ask you. I'm just trying to get a little bit more idea. Of Malaysia. Just of what it feels like to be in Malaysia, because you don't hear a ton about it.

24:45Yeah. And the biggest thing you heard about probably is the plane that you guys lost. Yeah, yeah. We're still lost, man. Is it really? Still can't find it. Ugh. It's crazy. What's the word over there? Bring that up, Malaysian 370. What's going on with it? I think, and the most, I've gone into a rabbit hole about this. And also, Kathleen Madigan, she's a comic here, and she has the best bit. If you want the best stand-up routine about Malaysian Airlines, go search Kathleen Madigan, MH370. Okay. But my theory is the pilot wanted to kill himself. And so he just, because of the way the plane swerved, the path the plane took, it swerved past his hometown first before riding off into the Indian Ocean.

25:27So he just swerved past his hometown, just take one last peek. But by that point, all the passengers on the plane were already unconscious. Really going to the pressure? Yeah, he depressurized the plane. but then the cockpit, the pressure stays on for a little bit longer. So he was just taking one last peek at his hometown and then just driving off into the sunset and ocean. It's almost kind of... It's romantic. Don't give them any ideas, man. United Airlines don't need to hear this. I hate to say this but it sounds a little bit romantic. Yeah, let's play one clip right here. What do we have? Yeah.

26:01A disturbing reason for the plane's disappearance. On and off search efforts have failed to locate the plane which disappeared with 239 people on board more than four years ago 60 minutes australia brought together an international group of aviation experts who say that the plane's pilot crashed the flight intentionally joining me now to discuss this guy and former chairman of the national transportation safety board for sure and it looks like he probably shorted the uh He definitely is, dude. First, the flight path that was reconstructed using military radar. What was suspicious about that? Well, the plan showed that he was going in and out of various countries between Thailand and Malaysia.

26:50One would have thought, based on that pattern, that someone would have sent up some military aircraft to look at them. but according to the television experts, they said he did this on purpose to evade the military radar. Well, one of the experts, yeah. Well, it's kind of boring. Yeah, yeah. What do you expect, you know? Yeah, what do you expect? It's like people like something, it's like hide and go seek. They never found the guy and people are just wondering where he is. We find like a part of a wing every two years. You know, it's like a little fun little treasure hunt. Yeah. It comes up. I keep track of this, man.

27:27This is my true crime. Oh, it is. You know, it's the only thing people know us for. And I love it. But also in a way, it's almost beautiful. Like a place so like, it almost makes it mystical in a way. Malaysia. Yeah. Oh, thanks. You know, the biggest thing that when my fiance, when she traveled to Malaysia for the first time, she's American, right? So the biggest thing she noticed is, she told me she's never seen Muslim people who look Asian. I would say that is the biggest, not culture shock, but the biggest observation you'll get. They look like me, but they're Muslim. Oh, that's a surprise.

28:00Yeah, yeah. Over in the US, you don't see none of that. No, you see nothing like that. Yeah. Yeah, you see a lot of people call Muslims Slims or whatever. It's like a nickname. Slims? Yeah. It's like a new, I don't want to say racial slur, but it is what it is. It sounds like it almost. One syllable, you know. Yeah, look at these Slims, right? Yeah, look at these Slims. But I like it. I like, you know, Muslims are definitely really interesting. I've been learning more. The Muslims in Malaysia, you know. Well, everybody in Malaysia, they're not Slim though. We are like a fat country. Oh, it's fat country.

28:29Yeah, we're catching up to you guys. Oh, fat. Yeah. And people die early or what? How long are people living over there in Malaysia? Put up a, bring up a corpse. Not a corpse. Bring up a website. Bring up a link. We love our sugary foods. We love our fatty foods. That's why. People fat dying. Yeah. Fat dying. That'd be a name of somebody I feel like. Fat dying. Fat dying. That's a Vietnamese name. P-H-A-T-D-A-E-N-G or something. Fat dying. Malaysia, 76. 76 years in Malaysia. What's the American average lifespan? I feel like you beat us. Our healthcare system's better, though. I'll tell you about it in a second.

29:06It might even out. 77. Okay, so one year longer? Eight months longer. But still, enough to point and laugh, you know? Your final years. We won. UFC 316 is this Saturday at 10 p.m. Eastern only on ESPN+. pay-per-view. And it's live from Newark, New Jersey, UFC 316. It's a stacked card headlined by two can't miss Bantamweight title fights. In the main event, you've got Murab Dwalashwili makes his second title defense against Sugar Sean O'Malley, who looks to regain the Bantamweight title in a rematch from Noche UFC. Sugar Sean has changed his game up. He's changed the way he operates online and in life.

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31:35Get 15 % off your entire order with code Theo at manscaped.com. What was one of the biggest myths over the years about the Malaysian flight? Was there something that was like, did people think it had gone to like a certain place or was it always just a missing plane? I'm trying to... I think there are lots of theories, right? And some people say they just entered the Bermuda Triangle and they're all still alive. But yeah, I think they're all dead. He just drove the plane until he ran out of gas, and it just sunk into the ocean. Everybody was unconscious, though, so they didn't have that really scary moment, right?

32:13That's nice. I think it's a less tragic situation than 9-11. You know, 9-11, they were all conscious. They knew they were flying into that building. Yeah. Right? And some people were probably trying to hurry up and get their luggage, because I hate it when people get up on a plane early before it stops or whatever. Yeah. You think they're out ruffling through the overhead storage? Some hurried ass, some business asshole is like, I got to get off first. It's like, bitch, we're fucking. Yeah, we're dead. Yeah, it's just crazy. But I hate it when people get up early before the plane is at the gate, you know?

32:43Yeah, and then the flight attendant has to tell you, please sit down. The seatbelt light's still on. Yeah, I know. Do you fly a lot when you tour around the U.S.? Oh, yeah. Or just a big, my conception, my concept of U.S. touring is a big-ass tour bus with your face on the side of it. Oh, no face. No face? No, I think that would be too ego. I think I wouldn't want my face, because I don't want people to know, like, I don't want people coming and looking for me. You know, you already have at night, they'll have some, if you do a show in a town, sometimes we'll be in a tour bus. Yeah, yeah. And see if you bring up.

33:16You can put your face on a different bus. Oh, that's a good idea. You ride a nondescript bus. You put your face on a different bus. Just like the LA City Transit bus. Yeah, it's just. Your horse face, just riding around. It's just like a Greyhound bus, like going through Mississippi. It's like follow us to the next show when you get there. And it's just a bunch of like people who just got out of prison. Getting off and ham in Louisiana. Jokoi has his face on a bus. Jokoi has his face on it. Have you had him on the pod? He's the other leader of Asian people. Yeah, yeah. We definitely have had him on.

33:49Jokoi, special guy. Special guy, Jokoi. Yeah. Jokoi. Josep. Josep. Josep, good guy. There we are right there with the tour bus. Yeah, we do like. Nice. Yeah, a lot of times it's just the tour bus. but nothing really crazy on the inside or outside. We were on a pretty lean ship for the most part. Yeah, when I was on tour in the US, I just flew to every city. Did you? I didn't even go with an opener. On tour, I would open for myself. Uncle Roger was my opener. Oh, really? So I save a bit of money that way. So Uncle Roger is your assumed character, kind of. It's like another character, but it's just you.

34:26Yeah, it's just me. I speak with a stronger accent and I'm a little bit grumpier. But you're not wearing a mustache or a cape or anything I wear an orange polo That's it And it just took off because You know if you want to see someone Uncle Roger mostly complains about food And mostly about Asian food Like fried rice and those things And if you want to see someone complain about Asian food It better be someone like Extremely Asian That adds the authenticity and the comedy of it So that's why it took off The food stuff But yeah he's just me with an orange polo a stronger accent. You know, when I do Uncle Roger's portion in my tour, it's like my old material.

35:05I just let the character do it. Oh, yeah. People love it. That's me. Yeah. Orange polo. But, you know, the bar for character comedy on YouTube is very low. You know? Yeah, that's a good point. Just put a shirt. Just put a shirt. People are like, holy shit, isn't it the same person?

35:23Adam Ray's Dr. Phil is higher effort than whatever this is. Oh, yeah. dude. It just seemed like the very, the best guy at Home Depot, you know, like a student. You look like a student at Home Depot. Oh, thank you. It's very great, man. Yeah. People love Uncle Roger and people love learning about different food through him. I think that's one thing. Did you, in Malaysia, there's a, I noticed when I was there, there's a big monkey issue, right? Depends where you go in the city. That's fine. You probably went to this place called Batu Caves. It's like a cave, a Hindu cave. And then when you walk up the steps, there are monkeys will just steal food from you.

35:59Right. Yeah. Yeah, that sounds like a monkey issue. So what I'm saying is, do y 'all eat, have you ever had monkeys? No, no, no. I know some Asians do. Really? You know, I think maybe China's, I've heard, and I don't know how true this is, but in some places, I believe it too, man. They would just have a table with a hole in the middle and then the monkey's head would be just coming through that hole and they would just cut open the monkey's head and eat that monkey's brain as the monkey's still alive and just squiggling under the table. Yeah, yeah. I don't know how true that is, but I like to believe that we eat everything.

36:35I love that. Yeah. I love thinking about Asian people. It's a bit inhumane though, right? It's next level to the snail mucing stuff. But monkeys are, they deserve some of it. No, they're nice. They're nice. They're smart. They're smarter. Yeah, I agree. Every now and then you see one who fucking knows how to open a bag of Dorito or something. Yeah, they can paint. Overall, they are viking. That's cute too, no? Put monkeys attacking woman for chips. Well, that's biased. You can also Google monkeys being cute and loving. Okay. Let's see both. We'll do a video for each. The woman who was mauled by a 200-pound chimp.

37:14Okay. That's not a monkey. That's like King Kong, you know? I'm just saying this lady probably had a little bit of chips on her. I watched some monkeys attack a sister for a sack of vinegar salt chips one time on a stairwell. Okay. I need to know more context. Okay. So go to his version now. What do you want to pull up? Monkeys being cute. Monkeys being cute? In Malaysia. Yeah, let's do that. Okay, let's see that. Oh, that's a beautiful monkey. Ooh, look at him. He looks like he's in blackface. The monkey looks like he's in blackface. No. Okay. Yeah, we have a monkey problem. We have racist fucking monkeys Look at this monkey dude Wow bro Look at this Who is that Oh that's Justin Trudeau Look look He's not running for office He's swinging for office from his tail That is cute Come on he's not attacking no one No that's a prime minister Of course not That's hilarious Look at this.

38:19Here we have. Come on. A beautiful monkey. Yeah, he's so tiny. That monkey can't beat anyone. Very romantic. What made you decide to go into a food direction on your YouTube, man? And some of my audience won't be familiar with Nigel or Uncle Roger, and that's okay, right? That's okay. But it's the way you kind of effortlessly kind of just like, I think you seem, this is what it is to me. And this is very judgmental. All right, here we go. I'm used to seeing some Asian people be more probably quiet or not have maybe the similar sense of humor. And I think your humor seems very similar and relatable to just somebody like me.

39:00Oh, thank you. So, yeah. And, and I don't mean it like it's, it's a judgment. Cause it's like, well, what does that matter? Right. But I think that's why it seems so like your humor. Sometimes I feel like maybe some Asian humor, I wouldn't get it. Or even if it's an Asian person with American humor, I wouldn't get it as much. but yeah, yours just seems so effortless and comes across, man. I feel like every family has an Uncle Roger type character, right? This person who likes to talk shit. There's no-it-all who likes to talk shit, loudmouth, person who's just roasting everyone. Oh, yeah. I think every culture has someone like that.

39:31Maybe pedophile or none. No, no pedophiles. Okay. Keep it PG. Okay, fine. Whatever, man. I don't know. Whatever. I'm just asking what the question is. Do they have pedophiles in Malaysia, though? They have or no? Yeah, of course. Okay. Yeah. they start young sometimes they start young sometimes it's allowed too oh really? they're different cultures I think sometimes they they marry really young and like the Burmese or whatever? the Burmese I don't know what specific Asian cultures but I know of other people who are in Malaysia who marry a 14 year old it's rare it's rare and it's very frowned upon and illegal I think I don't know the Malaysian constitution that well but we yeah every country has a pedophile problem man it's just that I think in the US, your pedophiles are a higher profile.

40:18They're successful pedophiles here. Yeah, that's crazy. It's like, well, this guy's great at business. What's his secret? And his secret is petting kids or whatever. You're like, well, that's, you know, I'll just do a vitamin D supplement or whatever. You have a whole island, you know? You have Epstein. Yeah, we had Epstein. It's great. We don't have someone like that. Asia Consent, Malaysia, 16. China, 14. Okay. Japan, 13. 13? Whoa, hold on. Lower, Bob. That's insane, dude. India, we're getting back to 18. And South Korea is doing 16. Thailand, 15. Legal, 18. Effective. What does effective mean?

41:03I don't know. All right. Bahrain, 21. Wow. I like that. Pedophiles need to move away from Bahrainian. Bahrainian pedophiles need to move to Japan. Yeah, dude. Blame it on Bahrain, brother. Wow. Yeah. Oh, why talk about food? So you got into food, yes. Your channel seems like it kind of really started to focus more on food. Yeah. Well, you know, I grew up, growing up, I think most Malaysians, most Asians love food and we have opinions, a lot of opinions on food and where the best thing is and what is the best fried rice, for instance, you know. So during COVID, I remember I went full-time stand-up comedy, September 2019.

41:44So six months before COVID hit, I was like, finally, I saved up enough money. I got enough paying gigs that I can make a living off of stand-up. And then COVID hit six months later, I lost all my work. So I had to be like, okay, I have all this time on my hands. What do I do? You know, I have this idea for this character in my head. And then one day somebody sent me that very first video, the BBC food, this woman making egg fried rice. and I was just watching and I was just like, this is horrendous. This is horrible. So let's put that character idea with this reaction video, YouTube idea and then things just took off from there.

42:18So, and I realized food is relatable, you know, to Asian people, to everyone, right? Fried rice. Everybody's had fried rice before. White, Asian, black, you know, doesn't matter what race you are. Everybody likes it. Yeah, everybody likes it. Everybody has had it. Everybody has an opinion on it. Is there fried rice crispy treats or no? No, we can start one. That's a good idea. fried rice crispy treats for a little packet. I like that, huh? Yeah, but it's too sweet, though. It's, yeah, very sweet. Maybe you can come out with a savory one. Yeah, yeah. That is the BBC food egg fried rice video. The one that I reacted to.

42:52And what is it? Yeah. Who is that? Her name's Hersha Patel. We did a video together. Wow. She was just, you know, like a collateral damage. She was just a presenter. And the BBC gave her this recipe. Hersha, she's got, her pronouns are heavy and her first name. Her. Sha. Oh, wow. So she does a lot of bizarre things, you know, like... I don't care. I would buy her a damn omelet somewhere. Yeah. She's making the rice and... And so what is she? This is your... You know her? Yeah. After the video went viral and she was under a lot of... She got a lot of hate messages. About this video? Yeah. For making bad rice?

43:35Yeah. Oh, yeah. This is like a Meghan Markle. effect or whatever. Yeah. Something. And then I realized my videos where I critique when I roast celebrity chefs or I critique food, those go really viral. They do super well. And then after doing it for a few more years, I was like, okay, people trust me when I talk about food because I try to keep it honest if the food is good. I say it's good. If it's bad, I say it's bad. So that's why I think I can make, you know, do some good business in the food world. That's why now I have restaurants, I'm writing a cookbook, all that stuff and it's fun man it's like fun you know I've done the I love stand up still I just don't have the time to do it anymore and I'm taking a break from it because I realized I wasn't devoting enough time to it you know at most I could do two sets a week and that's not enough that's not enough that's not enough you feel so rusty the first 10 minutes of your set you're getting rid of that rust and you can't really get better so maybe one day when things settle down a bit I'll get back to stand up because I love it it's just that you know that instant reaction from people yeah Well, it's also, it's, you know, it's funny.

44:38I think how, if you try, like, was it scary to try your first, that first kind of food video? Cause it's interesting for an entertainer. If you're in a certain world or space, right. It's interesting to then try something different. You're like, well, my friend does this and it's really neat. He does it super well. But if I do it, is mine going to be okay? Are people going to perceive it as okay? Right. I think that's a big fear. you know I have friends that do great sketches like Shane Gillis does some really great sketches like his uh yeah great yeah Gillian Keeves oh I love that ISIS Toyota sketch some of it it's just so so funny and there's times where it's like I'll think of a great sketch I'll write it on my phone and I'm like well if I did that would it be okay would I be too but it's like I think you think like that right it's normal it's normal it's normal to think like that but nobody cares dude Right.

45:31That's the truth. Right. But then I don't know if somebody saw somebody doing something like a bunch of like, oh, this isn't the avenue for them. But then if you're if you have a good instinct for yourself, you would kind of notice that as well. Here's what I'm asking. Was it hard to do that? Was it hard to just take that leap and be like, I'm going to try this different thing? Oh, yeah. Yeah. You fear. I fear the judgment of every back because back then in the UK, nobody was doing YouTube. You know, it was it was just a weird thing for someone. Oh, yeah. A stand-up to do. Other stand-ups would be like, oh, he's just a YouTuber.

46:03You know? Yeah, remember that? That kind of slur, right? Yeah, YouTuber. Yeah, YouTuber. No hard R on it. YouTuber. Yeah, that's crazy, dude. YouTuber, please.

46:16Yeah, dude. Oh, have you heard that song? YouTubers can be gay, too. Yeah. Have you heard it? No, I haven't. I'll watch it right. You got to hear this song. It's great. It's just like a summer bop that's really taken over. and then we'll get back to this.

46:41Hell yeah. What a banger. This is that banger, bro. We got to remix this shit for the summer, dude. Yeah. Very hard to sing along. That's in your car. You can say this in your car. Yeah. Yeah, you just say this to your friend. he's not wrong though they can't be gay I support this guy yeah hey this guy has a vote for me bro it needs to be said yeah there's too much toxic masculinity in that and n-word community sometimes yeah you gotta let the air out the tire a little that's what I'm saying boy sometimes the best seasoning is a little bit of zest yeah who likes that zesty barbecue they snuck it in on us they snuck it in on us at that zesty barbecue um but let's go back to what you're saying sorry i just anytime i get a chance i love this artist um eves and so i just want to be able to support him and put out his song that i think is a banger and has not gotten the uh the vibes it should have gotten so far or and it just needs to be resurrected because it's been about eight years since that song came out um what is i wonder does in asian culture even because Asian culture to me, right?

47:58And I know I relate things to culture a lot, but I think it's played a big role in my life, I think somehow. But Asian people seem more reserved overall, right? We kind of talked about that. So is that even scarier to put yourself out there as an Asian, you think, than it would be in other cultures where it's more boisterous, you know? I never thought about this. I think it would be, you know? In the US, I think people here like it when you're being creative. At least they're supportive. You go, you do you. People are more positive here. You can be gay too, man. If you try to put that song in Malaysia, Asians can be gay too, that's not going to go far.

48:38Come on, dude. I think in some countries that would be illegal as well. Oh, yeah. Asians can be gay too. Muslims can be gay too. Dude, that song needs a remake in every culture. Yeah, so I just wondered if it was even scarier and what, like, I guess what got you that, what made you kind of brave enough to take that leap? Because in my life, I've noticed that the toughest thing is just that first step every time. Well, I went to university here and that helped. I went to Northwestern and it's, you know, I was very lucky I got a scholarship because it's an expensive school. But a lot of people who go there are like very upper middle class, mostly white Midwestern kids.

49:20Oh, yeah, fancy. So confident. And even though they have the exact wrong answer, they're still like just saying it with their chest. Oh, yeah. You're talking about being a Kappa Sig, dude, I think. Something like that. I wasn't very popular with the frat people. They have their own culture, right? When you talk about culture, frat is its own culture. Oh, yeah. They like to vomit on each other until somebody's secretly gay. You know what I'm saying, dude? That's the type shit I'm into. Type shit, boy. Shout out Pikes. Pill gang. Can you still do those things, the hazing rituals? It's just sexual assault, but on your friends.

49:58I didn't know vomit could be a lubricant, but hey, here's another bush light, Ricky. Yeah, they're just so, and I see them just bullshit their way through university. I was like, I need some of that. I need some of that white male confidence. Not too much. You have too much, you become annoying and entitled, right? You have 20 % of it, just a little bit. Not too much. Yeah, you don't want to turn into Chet Hanks or whatever. He went to our school. Did he? Northwestern, yeah. Let's go. Nice, man. He came to see it. I was in a black sketch comedy group back in university. Chet Hanks and Tom Hanks were at our show once.

50:33And Rita Wilson, Tom's wife. And they all came to your show? Yeah, they came to the show. It was me and a group of people. Black folks? Yeah, mostly black folks. They always need one Asian guy and one white person. So that was a token. He was a token. Yeah. Yeah. We got to pass this ADN word in certain sketches. You did? It was cool, yeah. Oh, wow. They're doing that at Northwestern? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hell yeah. That's what the N stands for, Northwestern, dude. That's what I'm talking about. That's what we need more of. Dude, I've said this for years and not for years, but I've said this for almost four months.

51:05If you auctioned off the N-word, say somebody's going to say it, right? Like tonight, Uncle Roger's going to drop the N-bomb at 11 p.m., right? But you auction it off. You say, I'm going to donate money to watch the stream. I'm going to pay. They say it, and the money goes towards a black organization. Yeah. I think that would work. I think that's a good idea. Yeah. But do you have limitations in how they say it? No, I think they have to say it within three or four minutes. So they could do a little bit of a dance ensemble and then say it at the end. Like da-da-da-da-da-da. Hard R or no hard R?

51:40I think it's up to them, and I think it's at what price level you pay. Say Angelina Jolie is going to drop that thing, right? Okay. I mean I would tune in to watch that I think more people would like that than that fucking Imagine song that they did a few years ago oh yeah yeah Imagine words that's what I'm saying dude that's what they need to do so I'm just because people are always talking about reparations this reparations that but you're out here policing people for the n-word organize that's a great idea and make some money for your community yeah by auctioning it off people are already saying it yeah for free that's no problem Dude, I love this This is like the United Nations meeting Let's start a Twitch stream, okay?

52:25And tonight Who would be the best that you would love to hear Say the N word? And let's be honest, and this isn't a racial thing This is just about vernacular and raising Money for a community I want to see Trevor Wallace say the N word Yeah, because he does not say it But he looks like he wants to say it Oh yeah, dude Oh, if you tickle him I bet he says it in his sleep this is sleep talking sorry trevor oh yeah he puts the in and ambien dude you know what i'm talking about what's up kyle dude that would be so great yeah i'd love to see that yeah i would love to see trevor wallace and then who's someone that's older that i would love to see say it someone who's probably like in a coma or something but if you could get him to whisper it or something for like a an expensive stream i'm talking like about a 13 14 stream who's somebody look up older people in coma celebrities or people on there struggling something like that old people who are struggling put almost r.i.p you can put on there oh clint eastwood oh hey that'll be a that'll be a legend huh that'd be a legend that'd be legendary

53:35there's like three movies about him almost saying it Oh, Buzz Aldrin, definitely, dude. Yeah. Bro. Is he the guy who went to the moon? Yeah, you know if you're out in space, you got to yell it out there once. Yeah, nobody can hear it. Only Houston can hear it. We got a problem. Houston, we have a problem. Yeah. Paul Wall, baby. I'm the people's champ. We got a problem, Houston. Buzz is racist. Really racist. You don't think a white guy named Buzz was driving in bombs? after a few whiskeys. After a few whiskeys and fake trips to the moon, you don't think he's driving a fucking inbound. First of all, if you send me to a fake moon and drug me up and send me to a fake moon, I get one inbound, man.

54:21He could open up for Angelina Jolie. But it's just good to think about how you can raise money. And that's where I'm at. It's like, you know, are we raising money or not? Yeah. I wish we had such a cool racial slur for Asian people. You know, we got chink, but it's nowhere near the cultural coolness. Yeah, I'm trying to think of chop dogs would be good. Chop dogs. But that's kind of fun. Yeah, that's funny. That's funny to say. Look at my chop dogs right here. Yeah, look at best Asian racial slurs if you can. Sorry. That's probably on X, not on YouTube. Best Asian slurs. Yeah, at Elon. but if you can we're gonna need excuse me Grok do you know if these slurs are definitely Asian let's just look up a couple I don't want to get crazy yeah have you had Elon on the pod I have not mama son mongoloid I thought that was for like Down syndrome people not for Asian that's just redneck people who don't know how to say Mongolia Mongolia yeah time you have some mongoloid beef look i ate so much of it i can't even fucking read that well anymore my forehead got bigger after eating mongoloid beef my eyes got sunken in yeah oh my god we gotta get out of here dude dude you know what you need to do is do a show with my friends over there in australia when you go which one um sean and marley oh these guys yeah yeah i've i've done like some reactions to uh Chefs with Down Syndrome.

55:57And they're great. They can cook, man. These guys are the best. One of them doesn't have Down Syndrome. One of them does. I'm not even sure. But you go to their home. The greatest experience I had in Australia was spending time with these guys at their home. Really? Went to their homes? Yes. And you pull up, dude. It was just unbelievable. But that would be an amazing crossover. That's you. Oh, nice. And they would love to have you there, man. I've worked with Down Syndrome kids before. I used to volunteer at Down Syndrome. Factory or whatever. That's just an Asian. And that's a joke. That's because a lot of this is in factory work.

56:28I didn't think it was funny. Yeah, the most joyful people. Just happy. Dude, you tickle them, they can't even feel it because they're already feeling that good. Isn't that crazy? Yeah. Is that true? Yeah. They're already feeling at a level of being tickled. Oh, I didn't know that. How did you find out about that fact? Oh, that's easy one. Is that a grok question as well? That's grok. Do Down syndrome people feel tickles? I'm not. you're going to jail dude you're definitely going to jail did rocket money cancel a subscription for you that would have been time consuming or confusing to cancel it did for me i was latched on a i was paying for something bacon box or bacon bundle or something where they just dang hit you with a a month full of bacon that first week of the month and rock i forgot about it i'm over here just dang whole home smells like pork, but Rocket Money figured it out and put it to an end.

57:28Rocket Money is a personal finance app that helps you find and cancel your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps lower your bills so you can grow your savings. Rocket Money has over 5 million users and has saved a total of 500 million in canceled subscriptions, saving members up to$470 a year when they use all of the app's premium features. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster with Rocket Money. Download the Rocket Money app and enter my show name this past weekend with Theo Vaughn in the survey so they know I sent you. Don't wait. Download the Rocket Money app today and tell them you heard about them from our show.

58:15This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. I've benefited from therapy jeepers. I need it and I go to it and sometimes I don't go to it and then I need it again. I need a good friend. I need somebody to listen, right? I think that's something we all need. There's so much blabber out in the world. Heck, even me talking right now is kind of putting me out of it. But when you need help, BetterHelp is there. With over 35 ,000 therapists, BetterHelp is the world's largest online therapy platform, having served over 5 million people globally. It's convenient too, and you can switch therapists at any time.

58:55So if you're afraid about parking at a therapy place or going down to the church for a certain type of meeting that people might see your car out front, BetterHelp is there. And as the largest online therapy provider in the world, BetterHelp can provide access to mental health professionals with a diverse variety of expertise. Talk it out with BetterHelp. And our listeners get 10 % off their first month at betterhelp.com slash T-H-E-O. That's better H-E-L-P.com slash Theo. How was the Middle East trip man? I was watching the clip of you doing that show That must be a tough crowd But you did good Oh it's nice you to say that You being very nice That show was hard I'll tell you what So they weren't supposed to be recording the show That was part of the agreement Was there would be no recording And I get out there And then there's 20 news cameras Oh shit And so I'm like well what do I do now Like I can't just do all my material Because then it'll just be out there Right And I'm trying to maybe do a special at some point.

1:00:05And then, so that was a... Yeah, those are Thobes, right? Okay. Thob. That's Qatar, right? Qatar, yeah. Qatar, okay. And it was so cool, man. But yeah, so I get out there, and then there's an audience in front of me, behind me, and to this side of me. And half of each one of them can't speak English. They still laugh, though. I heard laughs. I heard applause breaks. People, I think a lot of that... They made fun of the Navy. They loved it. Oh, yeah. That part was – the best part was calling him Klu Klux Sandsman. That was my favorite. That was the only thing. And at that point, I was like, at least, if anything, they flew somebody over here to say that.

1:00:42Yeah. That must be a tough crowd. It was scary. It feels like a corporate crowd, but tougher. Well, I just didn't expect the camera. So suddenly, everything has to change. You're like, what do I do now? You know? And so it was just like this interesting mix. But then I also like before I went out there, I was like asking God, I was like, just don't make it about me. Let me just try and do my best. Like, you know, so and then I realized it's just you're over there to have fun. So we stayed after and took a ton of photos. And it was cool, man, just to be on the base and see like, you know, I've done some military tours in the past.

1:01:16But just to be there and just see what people just what people are living like over there and what the environment is like over there. Yeah. And then we got to drive across town and all the buildings have, bring up like a basic or what's it called? Common structure, structuring in Qatar. All of their stuff have like the castle, like, you know, that like castles are kind of like that on the top of them. Let me see. I don't fully understand. Like, you know, the rook in when you're playing. Rook is a castle. Yeah, the rook is the castle. So it has the castle top. You know, the top of a castle is like that.

1:01:51Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. All of their buildings are like that. oh really wow you'll be driving by a place and you're like oh my god is that a palace and they're like that's a kfc dude every building there has the castling tops and it's all very uniform and there's nothing out of place there's not a tree out of place there's not a curve of a sidewalk out of place nothing's on it's like wow it's unbelievable um yeah they have a lot of money because everybody there gets subsidized from the government if you're a Qatari citizen. Yeah, but it's impossible to be a Qatari citizen, isn't it? Right, it only travels through the mail.

1:02:29So you can't just, and you can't just have a baby on the land and it's a citizen. Yeah. Can you be gay and marry a male and get it that way? Let's see, that's a great question because you always hear that you can't be gay there or whatever. And it's funny, they had the secret service there and I kept going up to them and I'm like, what's your secret? If you're gay, just say if you're gay. what's your secret you wore your mom's underpants like what is it every now and then one would slightly show me a gun just like shut the fuck up and then that's when I would listen to n words can be gay too just play that in the ears pathways to Qatari citizenship citizenship is automatically granted anyone born to a Qatari father regardless of birthplace oh interesting children of Qatari mothers and non-Qatari Father's may apply for citizenship, but only under strict conditions are not guaranteed citizenship.

1:03:24Foreigners can apply for citizenship after at least 25 consecutive years of lawful residence. Wow. Wow. With no more than two months spent outside the country per year. Oh, my God. With no more than two months spent outside the country per year. Whereas in America, you could hang your lower half over a fence and drop something over here and it's American. Yeah. Which is kind of cool, actually. I think there's that golden visa thing in America now, right? $5 million or something? They're giving that away. I think it's where America's got citizenship. I think Howie Mandel is one of the hosts of it.

1:03:56But dual citizenship is not permitted. Applicants must renounce their previous citizenship upon naturalization. I think that's important. So you can't be gay. Oh, wait. Legal status of same-sex marriage. Same-sex marriage, civil unions, and domestic partnerships are not recognized or legal in Qatar. Qatari law influenced by traditional Islamic principles criminalizes same-sex sexual activity and does not recognize any legal status for same-sex couples. Cohabitation outside of heterosexual marriage is also illegal. Wow. So there's no way for us to be Qatari citizens. In our next life, I believe in reincarnation.

1:04:35I'll meet you there, brother. See you there, man. Play our song.

1:04:47What is the What's the improper way to cook rice Just for whites and listeners of this That's what I built my whole career off of Is it really? I think the proper way is to just get a rice cooker You know, you have one of those? No, I lived with an Asian girl When I first moved to Los Angeles She needs to educate you on that stuff, man Oh, we couldn't even afford heat Sometimes we'd have her turn that on in our room for a little while Oh, shit But now things are different now, right? You can afford a rice cooker now. Oh, yeah. I can have a rice cooker in each room. Yeah. You can just be making rice.

1:05:20You can have an Asian in each room making rice for you. That's how hard you can afford now. Oh, I would love that. A little cinnamon Asian. You got the sugar book person. Yeah. $80 a week. Just come make rice for me, girl. But a rice cooker is great because it just takes care of everything for you. And when it's done, it keeps it warm. So you can just press play, go out, do your thing, come back, rice is ready. That's it. And it smells good. It's perfect. So doing anything crazy with rice where you're boiling all that, it's kind of ridiculous. You can just do a rice cooker easy. Yeah, because every time in the West, okay, here's the difference.

1:05:52In Asia, you ask someone how to make rice, they're like, rice cooker, the story is over. Over here, I ask someone how to make rice, they give you this long mathematical equation with science and how many cups of water to one to three ratio of rice to water is a whole science lab breaking bad project. Yeah, it's like Andrew Huberman making rice. Yeah, we don't need that. We don't need a whole podcast to make one bowl of rice. So I recommend everybody, just get a rice cooker. Make life easy for yourself. Yeah, make it simple. Just do that. Do you cook a lot at home? I only eat two things, honestly, at home.

1:06:29Smoothie. Okay. I eat one smoothie that has blueberries, spinaches, walnut. Eating, though. That's not eating. Protein powder. Okay. And food? Lactose-free milk. A little bit of cinnamon. Half teaspoon of Staymets mushroom powder. Some Amra colostrum. What else? Oh, half a teaspoon of algae, sea algae powder. That's hot. Fine grain. Fine grain. I don't like that choppy shit. What is, what's colostrum? Amra. It's something that, it's in baby milk. Is that placenta? No, it's something in baby milk. Oh, okay. I love it. Is it good for you? I mean, was baby milk good for you? Probably. I don't remember now.

1:07:14Oh, you imagine that? Yeah. I need to ask my mom. Was I healthier when I was sucking in your tit? I'm sure I was. Dude, look at me now. Fucking trouble. I'm fucking spray tanning my back because I'm losing pigment. God damn, yeah. Just getting wider and wider. I love that damn baby milk tit in my mouth. Colostrum. Where'd you get? It looks like an air wand thing, isn't it? They started dealing. I think we actually do. I think we honestly, I think we even do some ads for them. But so I mix that together in a blender. That is my, that's my smoothie. That's what I have every time. And then other than that, sometimes at night, about 45 minutes before bed, I'll make myself a ground beef quesadilla.

1:07:51Okay. Okay. You got to expand your palate, man. Give it a try. I don't want that. I'll bring you around. I'll bring you to Koreatown. But why is it that every time Asians, they want to take you somewhere to fucking feed you? That's the thing, bro. Yeah. We don't like cooking at home. Oh, really? Because cooking, there's so much good food here. Cooking at home is almost arrogant You think like what You think you can do better than this place You know So I gotta bring you somewhere Create some joy Let you see some shit Fuyo, that's your restaurant? Fuyo, yeah Fuyo Fuyo, it's Uncle Roger That's the restaurant name Congratulations, dude Thank you, man It's so awesome That's only in Malaysia right now Hopefully we'll expand this concept To all of Asia But later this year Hopefully we also have something, a new concept opening in London.

1:08:41Really? Yeah. Different, oh, this is the first time I'm saying it to the world. Shit. But yeah, we have, we just got the lease for a place in London. Let's go, Uncle Ragnar. Completely different restaurant name and stuff. Fuyo. Thank you. Fuyo is like a Malaysian slang for saying fuck yeah. Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah. Nice. Fuyo. Fuyo. Fuyo. Yeah, I love that, dude. It's exciting, man. So cool. And when you went there for the first time, did you have to go and help design the actual restaurant? How did that, how hands-on are you in something like that, right? Certain aspects. I came up with a few of the fried rice recipes.

1:09:15So Fuyo, it's Uncle Roger, is a fast, casual fried rice restaurant. So you get fried rice as your base, you can add toppings to it. Oh, it sounds so good. Oh, it's good, man. We are very proud of our fried rice. And I came up with a few of the recipes, you know, this is a kimchi fried rice. So I decided, yes, we need some seaweed. We decide how we want to plate it, you know, the seaweed on the side and the perimeter. and how you want to chop the spring onion. There are many ways to chop spring onion. You've got to find the perfect way. Yeah, yeah. It's all a little like bright colored and a little corny from a Western eye, but it works for Asia and we like cutesy things and also a lot of kids like it.

1:09:52Younger people like it. Yeah, it's fun. Well, also I think getting younger people to like, especially like younger American people to like, just to try something a little bit different, right? Yeah. Like I think my nephews would love this kind of thing, man. Look at the egg, man. Look at how runny it is. So that's another decision to make. You got to make the sides crispy and the yolk runny. That's what Asians like. You can add some eggs to your diet, man. Oh, fool, yeah. Add some runny eggs to your quesadilla. Ground beef quesadilla. I do a little bit of cheese on there, shredded cheese. Quesadilla.

1:10:26And that's real? That's the two things you eat every day? For real, you're not joking. That's the only thing that's at my house to eat and the only thing that's at my apartment too. Oh, wow. So I have that, put a cheese, put a layer of ground beef, one more layer of cheese, take some salt, sea salt, put it on there, top on it, one napkin over it in the microwave, probably a minute, 15 seconds. When it comes out, I push down on the napkin to strengthen that cheese and that meat combo, put it all together, make it a team. Then I'll cut it. A second I take that napkin off, I cut it four, one across one of the bottom, make four pieces.

1:11:02Do not let it get too cold, brother, it gets bad. I need to open a restaurant here, man. So you're going to experience the joy of eating. Oh, I would love that, man. I would love to be associated with your restaurant. Part of why I took a break from stand-up is because it eats into my dinner time. That's how much I like food. It's real, man. You do a show on tour. I have to sound check at like five and then I'm stuck in the green room and just eating a cold salad. And then after the show, you just want to drink. You don't want to eat. You know what I mean? Yeah, you're a little bit heightened up.

1:11:32and then otherwise you're eating at like 11 o 'clock at night. That's never super fun. No good restaurant still open at 11. Nothing. Even if you try to set up something in advance, you know, it won't stay open sometimes. But you can order food. But yeah, touring is a hectic lifestyle. How do you stay fit when you're always eating? Do you also have to take care of yourself or do you want to turn into fat? No, I think I got to take care of myself, man. I want my life expectancy to go a little beyond that. So I just work out. I try to let my dinner be my all-out meal. Every dinner is my cheat meal, but every other meal is like a healthy thing.

1:12:12I try. I try. And do you eat breakfast? Do Malaysians eat breakfast? Yeah, yeah, yeah. We got some good breakfast, man. I think best breakfast in the world. We got rice for breakfast. See, that's the part. I'm open to it. I think you just, I would have to get. Just try it. Search Nasi Lama. N-A-S-I. Yeah, Malaysian breakfast. That's the first image. That's the one we have. So look at the variety. Rice, peanuts, the sambal paste, a red paste there, fried chicken sometimes. What's a sambal paste? It's like chili shrimp paste. You know? I'm getting hungry now. I'm just thinking about this. And those are sardines?

1:12:50Huh? Those are sardines? Those are deep fried anchovies. Oh. Crispy. I feel like the joy of this image is lost on you, Theo. I could see that. Yeah, look at that. It's served on a banana leaf. Look at how appetizing that is. You know? Look at that one, the one from Medium. The one, yeah, that one. This is another Malaysian breakfast. This is more Indian Malaysian style. I like this one. You have the roti, the thin bread, slightly crispy and airy. You dip it in that yellow dal. Oh, yeah. Ah, man. Again, it beats any ground beef quesadilla, man. But in Qatar, they had a lot of beautiful sauces and stuff too.

1:13:27Yeah, we love. Sauce is what makes life worth living, you know? Add that to your cholesterol smoothie or something. You're right, dude. I'm a fucking idiot. What am I doing? There's all this great food and I'm eating the same shit all the time? What a fucking loser. Yeah. Yeah. We should make a video. Do you like... Maybe next time, maybe you can make Uncle Roger your meal and then let him judge it. I'm a little snack f***, dude. I'm fucking losing my mind, bro. You know? I got to get it together, man. And we'll bleep that word out. Sorry, that was a little bit out of sorts. Yeah. And the shirt you're wearing, too, that's the national flower of Malaysia.

1:14:01You want to know more about Malaysia? That's a hibiscus. Is it? Did you wear that for me? To show respect, yeah. Oh, thank you, man. I'll take it. Look at that. Oh, it's beautiful. Yeah. We have a lot of respect for Asian culture here. Thank you. And I think we want to... Arigato gozaimasu. Oh. That's Japanese, but you know. It is? Yeah. Hajimimashite. Huh? Hajimimashite. I don't know what that means. Oh. I know one word. Oh, our friendship begins. That's what it means in Japanese. Thank you. Hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi. I love the way they say thank you in Japan. They just bow at you. The most polite Asian people.

1:14:37I know. You know, have you been there? Have you toured there? Beautiful. Yeah, I've been to Japan. I haven't toured there, though. Oh, you should tour there. I think you can get a good crowd. You think so? The expat crowd. Yeah. And then maybe a few, like, random Japanese people who got lost. Yeah, yeah. Just saw a sign. I like the haircut. I just end up with your show. What? Yeah, dude, the thing of... What are some of the... Some Asians get no credit, the Laotians, right? Yeah. Laotian people. You never met... I pissed them off one time. Did you? Because I said... What did I say? Oh, Uncle Roger said Cambodian and Laotian food is like a shit version of Thai food.

1:15:20And they get mad when they insult their food, man. Yeah, Laotians. Yeah, Laotians and Cambodians. I still think it's okay maybe not Laos but Cambodian food yeah it's kind of true in a way I think Thai Thai people perfected that region's food you think so? yeah because they they took inspiration from the Laotian people their own Thai people and Cambodia you guys bombed them to shit so that's why they couldn't yeah that's why it's hard to eat with the bombing yeah I know it's hard to enjoy your noodles when there's a landmine next to you just like don't drop the chopstick it's gonna trigger the explosion yeah Yeah, I've been to Cambodia.

1:15:56Sometimes it makes me sad. You've been to Cambodia? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've been to, what's it called? Angkor Wat. Angkor Wat, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it's right next to Vietnam. Yeah, yeah. And is it, it makes you sad because of just the aftermath of the war there and stuff? Yeah, aftermath of the war and you just see people who've lost limbs, you know, because you plant it. And there's still active landmines there. So you never, you can't venture, you can't just venture off the path, You know, the tour guide tells you, don't walk off the path. Everybody's walking. You might step on a landmine.

1:16:28Yeah. Who has that song, Landmine? Who is that? Landmines can be gay, too.

1:16:39Jazz hands. Oh, it's Bruno Mars? Catch a grenade for you, that song. Oh, yeah. That's what I'm thinking of. Bruno Mars, I'll catch a grenade for you. Oh. But no, that is heartbreaking. Can you bring that up? Is that true? How much landmines are still in Cambodia? That's heartbreaking. Yeah, it's your... And did we put them there? I think so. I think what's the guy who, the president who passed away last year, I think. Joe Biden? No. He's still kicking. He's still kicking, I think. Jimmy Carter. Oh, Jimmy Carter, yeah. Jimmy Carter. Was he the one who, there's somebody. I don't fully know the history.

1:17:17I just know that you guys were, you know, highly responsible and fucking the map. I'm sure. Let me see. Millions of landmines. Cambodia is one of the most heavily landmine-contaminated countries in the world with estimates ranging from 4 to 6 million landmines and unexploded ordnance scattered across the country. As of the end of 2022, Cambodia had identified 681 square kilometers of land contaminated with anti-personnel landmines. God. Yeah. New areas of contamination are continually being discovered, making the precise number of landmines difficult to determine. Click on that third article over there, Human Progress.

1:17:54On February 2025, Prime Minister Samdet Dehune Minit. Samdet Dehune Minit. How do you say it? I don't know. Oh, damn. Yeah. Highlighted the remarkable achievements in Cambodia's ongoing mine clearance campaign over the past 32 years. Since its inception in 1992, the IN initiative has successfully cleared nearly 3 ,300 square kilometers of landmines. Man. Yeah. they have more landmines than you have like Starbucks's here yeah but I mean it just puts hopscotch on a whole new fucking level yeah advanced hopscotch high stakes hopscotch just draw the lines good luck dude this is horrible it's like a squid game over there hopscotch squid game all you need is like a SimpliSafe camera set up on a tree over there to get your squid game season 3 oh yeah what is this what Asian have the most like a lot of Asians squint when they look, right?

1:18:48Yeah, yeah. Which Asian have the most - I think every race squint when they look. Come on. You squint when you look too. Oh, yeah. I look a little Asian, man. Yeah. You got a little Asian in you. Yeah. Yeah. And what Asian have the most squint? Is there one that - Like, what Asian has the one where you just want to put a couple quarters in their face? You know what I'm talking about? Type of shit, you know? The squintiest Asians. I don't know. Maybe Mongolians because - Bring them up. Bring them up. Yeah, because they have like really puffy cheeks in there. Oh. So it just pushed the cheeks, pushed the eyelids up maybe.

1:19:24Oh, beautiful. I don't know. I love that. Yeah. Squintiest. Let me see what you search. Let me see the Google search. Yeah, show the search, man. What ages have the squintiest eyes? I mean, that's going to get us in trouble, dude. Oh, man. I would love to be on this brainstorming session when you guys had me on yesterday. Brainstorming session? Nigel's coming. Why can we ask him? I don't know. Ask him? we're afraid to say your name out loud. In case this place is bugged by fucking Memphis PD, dude. Yeah. That's another Grok question. Yeah, bring it up on Grok as well. See if they can help us. Some people say Japanese people because the blast was so bright that they have like a - They need permanent sunglasses.

1:20:08Well, it was a lot for the community. It's all heartbreaking, man. Oh, it's a stereotype. tied to East Asian populations. It's not a stereotype if it's kind of true, right? I don't know. Bring up some wide-eyed Asians in. Let's see, because this could all be bullshit. When I film myself on camera, I have to make sure the camera's positioned a certain way if there's an emotion I want to convey, because otherwise, if I look down, it's just a slit. Yeah. You know? So I know I experienced that problem. Ooh, this is beautiful. Yeah, I think this is a stereotype, man. We might want to get rid of that stereotype.

1:20:40I don't know if that's true. I think it's true, man. What are common plastic surgeries that some Asians get in order to adjust themselves? Make our eyes bigger. Make our eyes bigger? Yeah. Oh, look at the one lady. She's got one eye big and one eye regular. Look at that. Second row, left, left. Oh, that's makeup. Nuh-uh. And I think contact lenses. That's makeup? Let's play it. Yeah, that's crazy. Asians bring catfish to a whole new level. Yeah.

1:21:13Ooh. It's like one of those Rorschach tricks. No. You search like crazy Chinese makeup and you'll see it on TikTok. But the beauty of it is, is that how artistic that Asians are. Yeah, but it takes ages. It takes so much time out of your day. Yeah. Asians, they call them. Yeah. Look at this woman just transformed. Nuh-uh. Yeah. Oh, Jiwon puts a fake nose on to make the nose slimmer. Oh, look at this, huh? Oh, it's Rob Schneider.

1:21:49This is a joke, Rob. Wow, this is really... This is what Jeff Bezos' wife does. This is crazy, bro. This really happens?

1:22:04I think this is a rare case. All of Rob, though. Getting close, dude. Yeah. he's the after that's almost L. King at least yeah he's the after bro Rob just performed down in Louisiana it was pretty cool what what else can we talk about how many episodes do you put out a week three four two no no no no one or two one or two we put out six a month ah okay so that's kind of where we're at in the space right now it's interesting because you know over time you start thinking like where you start learning more stuff. So then there's more stuff you want to talk about, right? And then you start thinking, well, I want to, you know, if people are listening, I want to introduce them to things that I like that I think are neat, you know, or people that it's like, oh, maybe they wouldn't know about, you know?

1:22:54Like if half of our audience doesn't know about you and they listen and they love you, like I've had a great time chatting, man. It's been very fun. Same, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, and I was like kind of worried. I was like, I don't know what it's going to be like, but. He's a normal guy, man. You're hilarious, dude. Thank you, thank you, thank you. So funny, dude. And so I'm like, yeah, I think it's just things like that. And then I would like to be able to learn more stuff, like have people in to learn more. You know, we're trying to have a health care, like a doctor from Gaza who's been in like over there.

1:23:24Come on. We're trying to have somebody come on about dopamine and like the effects of like dopamine addiction and kind of where we are as like, especially as men, you know, being addicted. And then always jerking off. We always talk about that kind of stuff. And if we can get better. You gotta get that guy Who's trying to live forever That Brian Johnson guy Yeah we saw that guy Yeah I'm fascinated by him He's almost Korean huh Yeah he looks like it Everybody turns Asian After a while Ariana Grande Her latest look Is Asian Oh yeah ASEAN They call it in some places ASEAN AGRANDE ASEAN AGRANDE Yeah look at this guy Definitely Yeah he's Turning into a K-pop star Oh play our song again Real quick

1:24:15Oh, Roger, Roger, Roger. It's no bedtime. It's no bedtime. Yeah, this is crazy, man. And do Asian people think like they want to live forever? Is that more of an American thing? I think it's an American thing, man. We accept our fate, you know? Really? But that's what I like about you guys. You think you can change things. And sometimes you can. You know, maybe he will live forever. But I have so many relatives who are like old and given how annoying they are, I don't want them to live forever, man. Imagine if you're this annoying at 70. Imagine if you're 700. Oh, how annoying would you be? The worst.

1:24:53Yeah. That's part of the reason why I want to do my wedding in Europe. So hopefully none of them can come. It's too far. You have a hip replacement. Oh, definitely. Because a lot of the air travel really wear on some of that metal. Yeah. They can't even walk through the TSA. They start beeping. Yeah, they need... Yeah, I'm trying to think about Asians. But in a sense, the thing you want to do with your channel, introducing people to more things, that's kind of the same with what I want to do, especially for my food. Because food is so tied to culture, right? So there are a lot of videos where, sure, a lot of them is me roasting celebrity chefs, but there are also a lot where Uncle Roger travels to a place.

1:25:31Like my recent one, I went to Thailand, and I got someone who lives there to show me. Mark Wein's another big food person. Oh, you ate at 6.30 a.m. You ate in the morning. Yeah. Thai green curry in the morning. Oh, the best I've tasted. So good. And I feel like a lot of the times when Western people go to Asia, they always show the weirdest parts of what Asian people eat. Yeah, like come eat these cat nuts or whatever. Yeah. So I feel like me doing this is kind of like almost like an insider view of Asia compared to like a Western perspective of Asia. And I feel like that's my little contribution to the internet.

1:26:06Yeah. Oh, there you go. Oh, yeah. That's me. And that's just a secret curry spice. I look good. This is a high effort podcast, man. You got a Photoshop person on board? Yeah, we got one guy. But it's just a secret seasoning you're selling. Yeah. That'd be great. That's a chili sauce. That's my new chili sauce. Well, I think Asian food is just expanding in the US. I'm sure that it's just growing. Look that up. Is Asian cuisine growing in America? It must be. Oh, definitely, definitely. And there are so many of us globally, you know? Of Asian. Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, you see one Asian, you've seen them all.

1:26:43That's the old motto. Yeah. Asian cuisine is growing. Is growing in popularity in America? This is reflected in the increase of Asian restaurants? Well, that's easy to say. So it's getting more and more specific. Oh, sorry. Please read first. Go back up. U.S. visitors to Asia saw a 33 % jump, while Oceania and Central America each saw a 30 % increase. So people just traveling. Yeah. traveling overall is just increasing their palate Japan is the gateway drug to Asia because Americans love Japan when they get there, they love it so much then you get the courage to explore other parts of Asia, Thailand Cambodia, see the landmines you know see the ladyboys in Bangkok oh dude yeah, they'll both blow you up yeah one's a little nicer I think yeah that's true I think Thailand's been doing the trans thing for a long time They've nailed it And that's growing too Men that prefer trans women And bring that up How much are people enjoying more trans sexual But the trans people in Thailand are like hot, hot They pull a lot of effort into their process Oh yeah They're not just these bootleg trans people They have pageants they have competitions yeah here we just have some fucking fit ginger running around with a bra on during the streets of New Orleans during Mardi Gras and he's yelling that he's into something new or whatever it's like bitch you're not you're just a fucking some St.

1:28:11Patrick's Day bear you know these are men right here yeah they're all dudes man well what are we if you hadn't have told me that I would be empty in an hour

1:28:25I'm just saying And sometimes people just say wiener is just long pussy. I don't think anybody said that. I think it's just you, Theo. A wiener is a long pussy? I think that's just you, man. I think it's something you hear if you put your, you know, if you. If you really dig the internet, dig deep. Wiener is just that long pussy. Who won? The pageant was inaugurated in 1998. Okay. Let me get a little bit more of this because this is really fascinating. Sandra Pimai Panyakam collapsed to the floor and shed tears of joy after she was announced the winner of the 25th Miss Tiffany pageant held at the Tiffany Show Theater in Patia on Sunday night.

1:29:08Sarutu triumphed after failing to catch the judge's eye on four previous appearances as a Miss Tiffany contestant. Wow. Miss Tiffany, a nod to the pageant's original goal of promoting human rights and equality for transgender people in Thailand and around the world. are transgender people accepted in Thailand? Yeah. They are. Yeah. So it's a big part of their culture. It's a big part of their culture. They've dealt with this shit ahead of the time. You know, I think the arguments people have over here about the trans issue, I think Thailand probably had that 20 years ago. So now it's just part of society.

1:29:41They don't even think about the pronouns. They just get called like she, her, or whatever they want to get called. So it's nice. I think we can learn from that a little bit. For sure. I think, yeah, these people are beautiful. Wow, this is a, that's a young lady, huh? Yeah, they look good, man. Hey, it's like, you don't know what you don't know. You know, don't come on my back and tell me it's raining, you know? That's that old wife's tale. I think you've got to tour Thailand next. Wow. I don't know. I don't want. You want to risk finding out you enjoy this? I don't know. You just, you know, you don't want to accidentally bring sand to the freaking in Wiener Beach or whatever, you know?

1:30:21But yeah, oh no, dude, I think this is great. But I think the issue that we have in America, and that's just a joke, but I think the issue that we have in America is that you have men using, and mostly for sports, right? It's like, if you're going over to play sports and you know you're a biological male, to me, it just feels like you're cheating, right? We should have a class that's just for trans people and let them compete there. Yeah, yeah. And let it be a new thing that we embody and embrace. And that's the thing I would try to start if I'm trans. Like, don't put me in with men or put me in with women if I'm not exactly as them.

1:30:53Let me do something new. I think that's why they have the pageants. They keep them busy with the pageants so they don't do sports. Oh, that's a good point. Oh, yeah. If you're too busy. Yeah. These are actual biological women and they don't look nearly as good. That's a good point, huh? Yeah. Maybe we're coming to a unique time in culture where men are tired of being men so they would rather spend their time looking like women and women are tired of being women and they would rather spend time looking like men. Yeah, they can do whatever they want, man. I think if you become a woman, that's a benefit too.

1:31:28You can actually become a Qatari citizen, right? Oh, that's a good point. Marry the Qatari male citizen. Yeah, there's a loophole. I like this, huh? That's the dessert on the menu at Fuyo. It's Uncle Roger. that is hurt is a secret path to Qatari citizenship I like that one last thing I want to talk to you about oh you hear a lot about Taiwan and China right oh yeah that's gone through some trouble there a few years ago just what talking about it or what are you I just had a joke if you search Uncle Roger VS China I just did a bit that it works all over the world I did that bit in Bangkok and Toronto and LA works all over the world so I kind of just gently roast Taiwan and gently roast China and then right after that all my Chinese social media accounts got banned you know really yeah that was two years ago everything got wiped if you search Uncle Roger on those Chinese social media apps you'll find nothing even though I had like hundreds of thousands of followers before that really and did you have oh yeah wow this has 40 million views Uncle Roger yeah it's a YouTube short those things go viral sometimes not this viral oh god This is the most viral thing since COVID out of China.

1:32:45China. China. Okay. China. Good country. Good country. Good country. Good country. Woo. We have to say that now, correct? All their phone listening. All their phone listening. This nephew got Huawei phone. They all listening. All our phone tap into it. Long live presidency. Long live presidency. Woo. Uncle Roger's social credit score going up. Nice. And he's a nephew from Taiwan. Not a real country. Not a real... Not a real country. I hope one day you rejoin the motherland. One China.

1:33:34That's hilarious, dude. So is that a real feeling in Taiwan? Some of them feel like they should be part of China and some people don't? Yes, it's a very divided thing. but most people don't want to be part of China. Taiwan is a very interesting place. They do not use any of the Chinese social media apps. They use the Western ones. They use Facebook, Google, Instagram. Whereas in China, all those things are blocked. You know? And, you know, I released this clip and then everything got wiped from Chinese socials. And then, remember last year or a few months ago, everybody was getting on Red Note, this Chinese app?

1:34:06Yes. I tried re-registering for an account and the moment I uploaded my profile photo, that whole account got wiped again. So they have some sort of, I'm in some sort of database over there. So China's against you, you think? I probably can still visit if I get a visa, but I don't know if I want to risk it, you know? Yeah, and they just probably don't want you having a say in what China is like. They just don't want you having a voice in their country. Yeah, yeah. But, you know, it is what it is. Sometimes, I think in the US, we take free speech for granted sometimes and we forget that. not all countries are like this.

1:34:42In the US, you say anything and the worst thing that happens is people get mad at you, right? In the comments, whatever. I don't know. I mean, these days, a lot of things get taken down even in the US. I feel like there's things you can't say. I think things get submerged, you know, or like, what is it called? Shadowband? Shadowband, true, true. But in a stand-up context, I feel we get more leeway. Oh, that's a great point. Yeah, in a stand-up context, we get so much freedom here. What is the biggest issue over there with Taiwan? Do you think that they'll remain free? Because they make some of the most semiconductors in the world, right?

1:35:16TSMC, that company, yeah. Taiwan Semiconductor. TSMC is the only reason China hasn't attacked Taiwan yet, you know? Wow. That's too valuable. China and the United States both view Taiwan's dominance of the global tech supply chain as a national security risk. In response, they have tried to boost their own capacity to make chips they need. Yeah, I think they're trying to make more chips in the U.S. I know that that was something I saw a couple weeks ago. NVIDIA's chief says U.S. chip controls on China have backfired. Jensen Huang, who I'd love to talk to, the chip maker's top executive from NVIDIA, they're the number one, they're the leader in chips, I believe, said the attempt to cut off the flow of advanced AI chips spurred Chinese companies to accelerate their development.

1:36:04Wow. Lawmakers in Washington have worked for years to limit China's access to the cutting-edge computer chips needed for advanced artificial intelligence, particularly those made by NVIDIA, America's leading chipmaker. And, yeah, so these are the chips that are used for AI. And for some reason— AI weapons, you know, rockets. Right. And for some reason, they make them the best over here, right? Taiwan has the best ones. I think so. So far, I think. So far. Yeah. but according to NVIDIA's chief executive Jensen Huang those regulations driven by economic and security concerns have only made Chinese tech companies stronger wow yeah I mean this is the type of thing somebody would go to war because whoever controls this is going to control a lot of things I think this is going over my head man I just buy some Bitcoin and call it a day you know yeah oh me too I'm just wondering what could happen to the people of Taiwan right I think that's my like question is like do people there live every day it must be weird there every day you're going to a factory probably and creating these chips but knowing that the creation of these chips could have a semblance on if your country gets um attacked or attempted to be controlled it has to be very strange i feel like you know i do you think that makes any sense or no yeah yeah they have this maybe this added responsibility i better make a good fucking chip otherwise china's gonna ruin us right or by keeping to make these like what if we all decided we're not gonna make them would they all just leave us alone and we could just be at peace no If Taiwan stops making them, China's going to attack it.

1:37:34China needs those chips right now. That's why they're not bombing the factories. Oh, I see. So they need them because they're supplying them. Yes, yes. So if you stop making them, that'll be like, you know, if like a, what do you call it? A bin man, a garbage truck person, you know, if they suck at their job, the whole country gets attacked. Oh, yeah. That would be stressful. Oh, it'd be the worst. Imagine you work at In-N-Out. If you got the order wrong, Mexico's coming. do um this may be one of my last questions do you think so a lot of goods from america are made in asia yeah right yeah do you think that a how do asian people feel about that like do they take a lot of pride that they make it all these like things that go all over the world do they just feel like it's just a means to an end and there's not a lot of pride in it like what does that feel like do you feel like especially probably to china china's the place that gets labeled a lot is like making everything, you know?

1:38:29What have you heard? Or like, what do people say about that? Does that make sense to you? Yeah, Malaysia makes quite a few things too, not as much as China, for sure. I feel like to us, it's a job and it's a decent job. And without those manufacturing jobs, those people will have a shittier life, you know? So I think we like that those things, you know, globalization. I think when people talk about globalization, they see it from the American perspective. Yeah, you are losing jobs to the outside world. But on the flip side, we, Asians, are gaining some jobs that pay better than those jobs that existed prior.

1:39:06Like, you know, working at a hawker stall, selling noodles all day. Manufacturing shoes probably pays them more. And I think this is a tough part, right? Sometimes the economy, I feel, is a zero-sum game, right? Making the shoe is either a job in America or a job in Asia. We only need so many shoes, right? but we do think it is good it helps us elevate our quality of life and hopefully in a few generations time the Asians will have made more money and then maybe we won't have to do those menial manufacturing jobs anymore but for now it's the same thing where there was a news article I think it came out recently last year maybe where in New York they were starting to use self-checkout lines but then you had a FaceTime video called someone from the Philippines the persons being the checkout, the cashier for you from the Philippines.

1:39:57Oh, so you had a Zoom call with a checkout person? Yeah, yeah. So the whole internet hated it. But then from my perspective, it's like the person in the Philippines is probably getting paid way more than any job that she would have gotten, the person that they would have gotten in the Philippines. And this is just a hard part of, it's not an easy problem to solve, right? Global inequality. quality. And I think it just takes time maybe. And just the hope is one day globalization will just even the playing field. Everybody can afford the things we need in life, healthcare, a house, vehicle, those things.

1:40:32So that's my take on it. It's not very funny, but hopefully, yeah, that's the thing. Oh, no. Oh, Philippine, yeah. Yeah. But no, I think that's great. I just always wonder, like, I always think like, oh, yeah, it's just like how I look at it from my perspective as an American. I never think like, well, what do these people feel about it? Like, you know we probably like it to the Filipino person for sure she's just working from home putting a fake Zoom background nothing huh just clocking in cooking yeah not even cooking she's just checking out the cashier yeah but she could be cooking at the same time yeah she could be cooking for her kids she'll be home for her kids because in Asia people work long hours man there's some you know in Malaysia we have domestic helpers sometimes who come in from Indonesia and they live with us right so they're just gone from their families three years at a time.

1:41:18And they get one day off a week, maybe, where they get to call their family. So this Filipino job, this virtual cashier job, that's like the best job. That's working remotely, man. That's being a digital nomad for them. Yeah, I like that. I love that shit. They're doing that in Bali, you know. I like that shit. I like that shit. Yeah. But what about this? So, and I'll say this, round of applause for Filipinos. I want to say that, right? Joe Koi. Doing good job? Joe Koi did good. doing a good job but I want to say Filipinos it's funny because they're usually the last people you see before you die because a lot of them work in hospice care oh that's true you know I was wondering where this conversation was going oh yeah it's going you just see the light and then there's a Filipino person it's just like well the light is a little bit blocking the light it's a little bit blocked yeah by like one Filipino person with like a stethoscope you know yeah it's Joe Coy blocking the light but they often have a lot of the same name you know David.

1:42:17David. David. David. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What's another one? Maria. Susie. Susie. Popular. Look at a popular Filipino-American names, then we'll get you out of here. Yeah. Maria, Christina. Filipino. God, I want to be when it happens again. I think they have the biggest eyes for Asians. They have the roundest eyes. Full of love. Yeah, full of love and care. when you're in hospice you want someone with big round eyes taking care of you big round eyes you ever heard that song? no oh I know that song big round eyes oh yeah it's about Filipino love it's about Pinoy heartbreak I think in hospice care you don't want a squinty eyed person taking care of you, they look like they're up to something oh yeah they're secret huh?

1:43:11James that could be one, Edward Edward yeah Filipino Filipino. Yeah. Benjamin. Benjamin. Yeah, Benjamin. A lot of good Filipinos. God. Mario's good. Oh, like Italian Filipino. Ah. Like, oh, Pinoy pasta. It's a ravioli. Yeah, I would love to be Filipino next time, man. Yeah, let's reincarnate, man. Dude, we could come back, huh? Yeah, I better come back rich, dude. I want to come back to a kid with rich parents. Oh, you want to be a kid with rich parents? It doesn't matter what race Just kid with rich parents But would you attack them? Would you like Menendez them or whatever? Menend what? Like Menendez brothers The guys that I think they attack their parents or something Because they brought them cold food or whatever I haven't looked at it I probably would just to get their inheritance I'll make sure they write their will down first Just double check the will Alright, stab, stab, stab Okay, it sounds dangerous Sounds dangerous for us Nigel, thank you so much for coming in.

1:44:15Of course, man. We really appreciate your time. I bring you to some good food sometime. Yeah, I would love to do that. And make a video or something. I'd love to, dude. Yeah. I'd love to swap a, we got to swap a number or something. And this has been one of my favorite interviews, man. Thank you so much. Like sometimes I go into like a day or something. I'm sure this happens to everybody. But it's like, how's this day going to be? And you're like kind of tired. You're just been along, whatever. And then it's awesome, you know? Thank you. Likewise, likewise. So I think that's the power of like people getting together.

1:44:40right? Because sometimes you need somebody else to make your day better, you know? And so I just want to say thank you so much for your time. And yeah, I hope you do get that extra restaurant opened up, dude. I think it would be exciting for people to go see and for more people to learn about foods from different parts of the world. You can check out Uncle Roger's channel. He's got a great channel. It's Nigel, Nigel. Yeah. Nigel. And we'll put all the links and everything, man. Anything else that you wanted to share? No, that's it. Check out my channel. yeah oh and best of luck with the marriage dude let's say one nice thing say one or two three or two or three nice things about your wife so that one day she can look back and she'll have this what's something look back to the theovan podcast that's true that's a horrible thought to say huh so is that egotistical to say that no no it's okay i think she'll be happy she's just yeah she'll she'll love it yeah what's something nice about her that you really admire i think i think she's the love of my life and she makes every day better oh dude that's gay bro play the song again dude that's the gayest shit I've ever heard bro god dude I regret saying that now I regret saying that

1:45:56I'm joking dude shut it down uh no okay you think you found the love of your life yeah I think so yeah that's cool that's why people get married right Yeah. Yeah. That's a good point, huh? If you haven't found the love of your life, then what are you just part-timing it with somebody on your heart? Yeah, situationship. Just the fuck buddy of your life. Yeah. You know? That's a long haul, man. Well, congratulations. Two months to your marriage? Yep. Oh, it's exciting, dude. Very few relatives are coming. It's too far. Not allowed. Too far for these old Asians. Shut them down. Yeah. Shut them down, dude.

1:46:30Yeah, deport them. Deport them from Europe. Pull the semiconductors right out of their backs, dude. We do not need them hitting the air. Go back to the factory. To that factory in the sky, dude. Thank you so much. Have a good day, brother. You too.

1:47:05Niggas can be gay too.