#597 - Lewis Capaldi

27:44Fond memories, treats. She liked to feed you, you know? Yeah, listen, I've got a lot of people like that in my life. Yeah? Yeah, I'm a bad guy. I'm a bad guy, a proponent of being fed. I like to be fed. Yeah, look. Yeah. Sounds weirder than I wanted it to sound, but I just meant I like eating. Well, of course, you should eat while you're here. I mean, according to the Scottish mortality rate, you're fucking... Yeah, yeah, there's only so much time left. Exactly. I need to get on. No wonder you feel so much about your youth, you know? Yeah, yeah, yeah. No wonder you do. I think my brother's texting back.

28:12All right. Let me see. This is awesome. What? Mum's mum's name was Melissa. It wasn't Melissa. No old, no grandmother's ever been called Melissa. Not that I know of. No. Unless it's like kind of like a... Melissa Maggie I guess we'll get to the bottom of this by the end of the podcast I'm 100 % sure this is our UFO yeah this is meant I'll just keep it sorry no I think it's great man yeah dude who's on your Scottish Mount Rushmore if you had to kind of piece one together Billy Connolly would be up there for sure okay Billy Connolly yeah Billy Connolly maybe I like There's a Scottish singer I love called Paolo Natini.

29:00What is his name? Paolo Natini. He's Scottish-Italian, much like myself. Well, not quite like myself because he looks Italian and I look like this. Yeah, see, he's got that sort of like Italian-y. Wow, I didn't know that. So that's a Scotsman? That's a Scotsman, yeah. Oh. Yeah, but he's up there for me as a musician. I grew up listening to him. And have you guys ever gotten to tour or collaborate together? I've had a few beers with him. I went to BCM and had a few beers with him. That was like a really nice sort of full soccer board. He's very elusive, Palantino. He'll like disappear for years and then come back and sing and thing.

29:35But he's an incredible, incredible talent. But he'd be up there for me. I'm trying to think of actors. Oh, I guess Sean Connery maybe. Sean Connery would be up there. I mean, he's a very historical figure. Yeah, Sean Connery probably would be up there, yeah, actor-wise. What about Shane McGowan? Was he Scottish? Shane McGowan's Irish. He is? Yeah. He might have been high enough he thought he was Scottish. Although he's, I think he was born in England, shame again. I don't know. But I think. Sean Connery, he was very much the epitome of class, I think, for a bit. Yeah, he is. Robert Louis Stevenson, that.

30:10Oh, yeah. Or like Alexander Graham Bell. Is he Scottish? Yeah, I think he's Scottish. Scottish people invented telephone and television. John Logie Baird, is that the guy who invented the television? Well, Robert Louis Stevenson, they invented the telephone? Who invented the telephone, really? Oh my gosh, dude. Thank you. Don't worry, guys. Honestly, thank you. You're more than welcome. That's quite a recent, looks like quite a recent picture. What's going on there? It must be AI or something. Nah, what do you mean? Do you think that's AI? I don't know. It's just been colored. It's just been them.

30:44Dude, you guys invented the damn telephone. Who did he call first? I don't know. There's no one else on the other end of the line, I guess. That's the problem. That's a great point. Oh, Christ. That must have been the worst part. Imagine the day they're like debuting it and nobody else even has one. Yeah, exactly. Rubbish. It must be the guy who got the false iPhone. Do you know what I mean? Oh, he's like, oh, my wife didn't pick up. I'm going to stay for another party. Yeah, it's mad. Alexander Graham Bell's first telephone call was to his assistant, Thomas A. Watson. Bell uttered the famous words, Mr.

31:14Watson, come here. I want to see you. Wow. Quick. Sexual almost. Definitely. Well, look, disco, a lot of men invented things. I think a lot of men who allegedly had maybe some zesty tendencies invented things because they had, they needed to meet other men. Yeah. And they didn't want to say out in public, Hey. Yeah, exactly. You needed to, you wanted to be like the street. Yeah. Yeah. So pick up this little whisper mobile. Yeah. Come Heather. Come Heather machine. Yeah. The come Heather machine. Wow. That's wild, dude. That's lovely. That's amazing. Yeah. I didn't know that. And that was March 10th, 1876.

31:53Not long before your grandmother was born. That's true. It's all coming around now, isn't it? R.I.P. Melissa. Melissa. He's texting me. Sorry, it's really rude that I'm pulling my phone out as much as I am. No, what do you mean? We have to know. Oh, mum's mum, Margaret. Oh, Margaret. Yeah, Margaret. I knew it was Margaret. I would have said that. Maggie. Margaret. Yeah, there you go. Margaret. Wake up, Maggie. I think I got something to say to you. I've done a lot of singing on this podcast so far. It's great though. Yeah, I'm really, really taking it in. He's also a fan of Glasgow Celtic. Is he really?

32:31Yeah, yeah. Who, um. Oh, Rod Stewart. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He passed away on. No, he's alive and well. Oh, good. People said he passed. I'm glad he's doing good now. I think so. I think he just played, I think he just played Glastonbury like last week or something. I was going to be, I was going to be disappointed for a bit. Well, thank God he's alive. Yes. I agree. If you're watching, Rod. Yeah. You mentioned Glastonbury a few minutes ago. You just returned, huh? I just got back. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just came back on stage, about a comeback moment thing. Yeah, it was lovely. It was like a really special, special moment.

33:06I didn't, two years ago, I basically had like this, I don't want to call it like a mental breakdown, but it was like a breakdown of sorts on stage that had been a long time coming, to be honest, on stage after that Glastonbury in 2023. 23 and then i took two years off to sort of like recalibrate and re sort of you know did a lot of therapy and got myself in a much better headspace and dealt with i had been told i had tourettes and stuff and that was really causing me a lot of stress and i didn't know how to deal with it um and now yeah after these two years off i really wanted to come back and you know do glastonbury and sort of like as a like a mental sort of win sort of finish the thing that i couldn't finish before um and it was amazing yeah like really really maybe like the best day of my life to be honest it's a really really special moment and i'm just uh yeah i'm really glad that we got to got to do it and like it was just yeah blew my mind about you mad mad mad mad yeah i mean i've seen the videos it looks uh you can feel the energy in both in both of the uh the the the the performances i've seen on youtube you can feel the energy in both of them was part of you like glad like you know there's this weird like because you're very transparent i feel like with your audience i feel like as much as you can be and i think as a human right you try to put yourself out there yeah as uh as well as you know yourself yeah and that's how you try to present yourself yeah yeah and of course we're always like getting to know ourselves more right and so that will change over time um were you were you glad almost in a weird way that some of that kind of like, I don't want to call it a breakdown, but some of like that, like that, that reel of a moment in your life, was there a little bit of you that was glad or were you scared that it happened in such a public way?

34:56Does that make any sense? No, no, it makes complete sense. And I was, I was so happy. Like when I came off stage, like when it happened and when it was happening, I was, it was like the lowest moment of my life and it was horrible. But like I made this, I had this moment when I was on stage, like two three songs in i was like this is the last time i'm going to play a gig for a long time i was i need to try and get through the rest of the show but right when i come off i'm done so when i got off stage it was obviously again horrible on at the moment on stage and you know experiencing or whatever but excuse me um i when i got off stage everyone else around me was a bit like oh this is the worst thing ever and i had this weird sort of a weight had been lifted of like oh now this thing's happened and i have to get help sort of thing it wasn't i had been putting it off because funnily enough a few weeks prior to that show and last time we were playing in chicago and i had a very similar episode but it was probably even worse uh the one in chicago i couldn't come back on stage and finish the song i was like backstage convulsing and having like this crazy panic attack, mental like episode.

36:07It was really, really bad. Way worse than what happened to Glastonbury. Because Glastonbury is such a, like you say, like a big stage and a big moment. It was the first time people outside of maybe, you know, my shows or whatever had seen it. So yeah, at Glastonbury, when I came off stage, it was weird. I had this, oh, everything's all right now and I can actually go and get help and fix myself for these, for the next two years and it was um yeah in a weird way it's probably the best thing that ever happened to me that that moment at glastonbury in twitter 23 because it was just i wouldn't have stopped otherwise if i had if i could like think i'm really bad for i'm gonna say i'll say i'm really bad i was really bad for um not saying no to things yeah like feeling like oh this is going to pass me by if i don't say yes to this all this amazing stuff's coming at me now and i have to like catch it all and sort of get it all done and and and do this um otherwise these moments are going to pass me by and i'm you know it's never going to happen again so i said yes to way too much and i took way too much on and everyone around me was like was asking me are you sure this is okay sure i said yeah i'm fine i'm fine i'm fine i'm fine um but yeah so glastonbury 2023 was for sure the biggest like um was yeah really important and like my yeah maybe the most important day of my life to be honest because it was such a um yeah i wouldn't have stopped otherwise i mean it was like almost like like a blessing kind of yeah it's like someone upstairs was like this has to happen now otherwise i don't want to think about where i would be now if i hadn't yeah i'd continue to do it because we may go to australia and stuff like that.

37:48You could have fallen apart, man. Yeah, yeah, exactly. It could have been really, really, yeah, horrible. I dread to think what would have happened otherwise to me. So, yeah, a bit of a blessing in disguise, I think. And you know what I thought about? I felt like it was just like, I think we're at a time where people just want to see something that's real. Yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure. You know, they want to see somebody that's like, you know, that's not hiding all their tough times, you know, That's trying to at least be earnest, as earnest as you can. So, yeah, I just thought it was, yeah, I don't know.

38:24I think seeing something that's real, and especially if it's somebody like you that is, you know, you're an emotional guy. You have a lot of feelings, and you have a lot of feelings that we all have that we can't put into words. And so, you know, we like look to you to be like this, like, you know, almost somebody that's like speaking for us. Not that you're doing that through ego or anything, but just that you're like a conduit for some of the feelings that we can't explain. Yeah, maybe I think so. But then I look to like other people like that. for sure. I think we all do. But just the fact that then you are able to like, just that you're so present and real, it feels like with your, with, with people and with your fans or, you know, people that support you that for you to have a real moment, it just, I don't know, I guess, I don't know exactly what I'm trying to say.

39:12I guess,

39:16i know you i know what you mean it's like people are sort of craving a bit of like authenticity i think well and also if you hadn't had it as such a real way would you um no well that's like i think for a long time i was like i'm sorry no you're grand you're grand uh it was i think for a long time i was like surface level talking about my mental health and talking about i think for a long time prior to that moment in twitter 3 i was like um yeah i get i have panic attacks or i get anxious but i wasn't like really i feel and i still i'm bad for this now like i give people enough that that sometimes they think they're getting the whole story and actually i'm holding quite a lot back sometimes um and i think i was doing that quite heavily at the time so when that happened at glastonbury it was this real thing of like the the sort of things been the mass pulled off and it's like here we are yeah you're just there and in front of everybody so um yeah as i say it was like this um you i didn't have had no choice but to confront things and i think yeah i was really taken aback by the sort of outpouring of um love and support that people had it was really like um like an emotional time like coming back and seeing like so many people reaching out and being you know kind and sort of sharing their stories with me and all this stuff it was it was really um special but yeah i know you mean like i feel like everybody's looking for something that's a bit real or tangible to sort of hold on to i think something that's human yeah yeah yeah 100 did you feel any embarrassment when you came back and not that you should or anything I just think that feelings are interesting, right?

40:56So sometimes you'll feel embarrassed about things, even if you should, you know, it's all interesting. Like we show up to everything with different feelings and trying to, you're always trying to juggle all these feelings and all these moments, you know? Was there any embarrassment? Yeah, yeah, I feel, I feel embarrassment all the time. Honestly, like, I don't know if, I don't know if you agree with this, right? But like, see being like famous, I find it's the most embarrassing thing of all time. Or like well known, like I walk into every room and I'm like either you're either not famous enough or too famous to be in a room I know it sounds like very first world problems but let me land here but it's like that's like thing of like either walk into a room and it's like uh again I'm totally projecting and no one's probably even looking at me like this but like 100 % I sometimes feel like either it's like everyone thinks that I think that I'm awesome awesome and I'm walking in a room and I'm like look at me I'm this famous guy and blah blah or people walk into the room and go oh who does he think he is doing this or that i just feel fame in general and being well known as the most embarrassing thing to me i just get like i just feel so like cringed up all the time with like when it comes to like that sort of side of things yeah it's the brightest ugliest suit yeah yeah yeah exactly yeah you're walking into a room with like, I don't know, it's, it's, it's mental.

42:18And then I sort of have this thing where I walk out of the room and I assume that, oh, everyone in this room is probably doesn't like me because they've seen something online that I said once, or they think I try too hard to be silly or funny, or they think I try my music shit, or they think I think I am better than I am. Or I just, uh, trying to manage people's expectations or thoughts. Yeah. Yeah. And then your whole life becomes, and I know some people are like, listen to these guys who have everything complaining, right? And I understand that, but we're going to keep doing it for another minute, right?

42:48Just to explore what it's like, because also being popular, it's almost just like life's like an experiment and you have different moments. Sometimes it's great. Sometimes it's horrible, but it's all just like, I look at it as like, okay, this is what's going on now. And what is this like, you know? And, uh, yeah, sometimes then you start thinking, okay, I have to spend so much time making sure that everybody thinks that I'm okay. Right. That I'm cool, that I'm okay enough to them. So then that can be like a trap. It can all be just kind of like, I don't know. It can get a little bit interesting.

43:20That's another thing as well. Like that's like, even like having that thought of like, fuck, is this, yeah, is this complaining too much or whatever? But like. Oh, I'll text these guys in the middle of the night. Does this seem gay? Does this seem racist? Those are two of the big ones. Am I okay? These motherfuckers are trying to sleep in their homes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And their coworkers text me at midnight. Am I okay? Like we don't fucking know. look fucking look at your ring camera you idiot i don't know but it's true it's like this thing of like even the thoughts of even the thoughts of even like the thing i just said you're i'm already like overthinking that thing i said about you're either too famous or not famous enough in a room because i'm like i'm embarrassed that i even like even talking about being famous is embarrassed or even like referring to yourself as being famous as embarrassing do you know what i mean and again you're only famous to people who know you really you're not famous to like yeah like thingy so it's like and then i don't know it's such like a uh mental you do like so many mental gymnastics i think for sure um oh no look man it's interesting to talk about and you know what i think it's it's interesting to imagine um that it's interesting to imagine that you're important right yeah that's an interesting thing it's like that you're like i i've noticed this sometimes like if other people think i'm important then it gives me i don't have to think i'm important like it's almost like i'm using the fact that they think i'm important in some way it's like oh then i can just get my importance through that yeah instead of creating my own importance for myself does that make any sense or is that crazy no 100 it's like you're getting but then it's that sort of that again i guess it goes back to the external validation 100 which is like i was thinking about this on the way over as well how um how attack like because i'm coming back into this like um like yeah you have a new tour coming out you're coming back into yeah this walk stepping into like spotlight again or like this sort of world again and i'm really trying not to get that validation externally but it's quite difficult like i'm just i already feel it like in little bits of things that i've only been uh back for like a week and a half here and i'm already like you know looking through comments and getting oh like excited when i see like a nice comment and then like really down when i see an awful one and and i'm trying to stop myself and be like no this is like this is the stuff that that got you sort of where you were last time it's important to not yeah you sort of feed into it and it's just um it's just really yeah it's such an interesting thing and i don't think it's exclusive to being well known or no i think a lot of it's human too yeah yeah a lot of it's just human stuff you know and i think this you're almost like i think with popularity and stuff you almost become like a lab mouse you almost become like just this heightened level of a lot of things and so um you know it's interesting to talk about well dude as a fan of yours and as uh you know somebody you've helped me feel you know you know no homo dude have feelings and shit over the years type shit uh but dude yeah i don't think you could ever i think you'd have to try very hard uh to to have a realistic person think that you're a bad person i think you know likewise like i think that's like um i think it's that's why i think i'm such a fan of yours as well like i just feel i like talking about being real and stuff like i've seen clips of yours where you're like again showing emotion and stuff and it really it really resonates with me and in a big way so i feel like it's yeah it's just nice to like yeah check your phone or your grandmother text again sorry it's getting fucking kind of crazy but no i appreciate it man we're trying our best you know and it's and sometimes it's a battle and yeah i didn't mean to interrupt you that was kind of mean i mean dude wasn't mean at all honestly i was rambling um do you worry uh but thanks for the nice words dude yeah it all becomes and then you start to become like well this how people think you are you're is that how you really are and then you're like am i holding up just an image of myself yeah who am i even it's all kind of interesting right i think but as long as you try to just stay aware of that that's kind of what's going on yeah then it can all be kind of interesting um i think it's important to remind yourself who you are away from all this i think that's what me having two years i'm a pervert ladies i don't know and no offense scott either no but i think it's important to have that sort of um yeah that sort of uh awareness of right when when all this is gone like who what who am i or what am i yeah you know i have more i think i have i'd like to think i had more to offer than you know singing a few songs or you know being silly on social media or stuff yeah and more to offer myself too.

48:14That's what I think about sometimes. Like, you know, at what point do I start offering, like trying better to focus on offering things to my own life? I don't know. Now, now, now we might be wading into some fucking ego waters, but that's okay. Yeah. Let's back out of that. Um, how do you keep things from being different than like, what kind of like led to like some of the, uh, you know, like mild traumas or things that happened last time that led you to the point where you were really suffering? Yeah. I think for me, like I wasn't doing any therapy. I wasn't really looking after myself at all.

48:43It's not like I'm like hitting the gym every fucking day or whatever. But like, I just think in general, making better choices in terms of, you know, every aspect of my life. I do therapy every week now as well, which has been really beneficial for me. I think I've really, that's really been maybe the biggest thing that's switched everything around. Is your therapist a man or woman? A man, a man named Owen. Owen O 'Kane, very nice. Owen what? O 'Kane. Owen O 'Kane Irish Oh Yeah God So you'll end up decent if you get better Yeah Exactly At best You'll end up decent at best dude Oh that's him there Yeah Yeah very good Is it okay that we say his name and stuff I think so yeah I'm sure he'll be more than happy with his Oh that's class Oh he's an author as well Yeah He's an author Oh that's amazing man He's been amazing He's been amazing for me in the last little while Who turned you on to him?

49:40it was my management that got through to him and stuff who had heard from someone else or whatever but it was just when i came off stage at glastonbury it was like immediately first thing i need is therapist and then did they put you in an ice bath when you got off or what'd they do do they like just or did you just fucking sit and have a pint like that was a that was a wild one like were you able to calm down right after you came off the stage i went i went out and i went i flew back to glasgow that night and went out and had pints that's the most scottish shit i've ever heard dude i did but yeah i could be getting a heart transplant i woke up and i went straight to straight to the pub and and so it was just a nice i just had to like go and do something normal rather than for sure and be around mates and and get back at that sort of place so uh so yeah i went out and kicked the ass out properly but it was it was very much needed you know i mean so um but uh yeah and then it became yeah and then afterwards we did yeah a bunch of shit with therapists and neurologists as well for like with Tourette's and stuff I'm take medication for that and all that stuff and uh just in general we try to reduce stress as much as possible I think it's been a massive massive thing and I think that's where that's sort of what I was saying about saying no to things is becoming quite a I'm realizing how um important that can be uh with oh yeah with stuff because it's just it's one of those things of like if it doesn't oh what this thing you won't get this again if you don't say yes now i'm like okay cool or somebody will be unhappy or something like that like yeah i've done meet and greets i think for probably 97 of my shows after right just for free just meet you know i but sometimes i just can't do it anymore and it's okay yeah of course you know like i had like i don't know if it was like i don't know what happened to me something happened to me like a couple years ago i just felt like this loud crack even like in my head yeah it was like all right and i've never been i don't think fully the same since then okay yeah really but i don't know what happened you know but i just knew that i had to shut it down and i had to start taking better care of myself yeah and um because at first i thought the stress was like oh you're not working hard enough you're not figuring this out well but that's not the truth the truth was i just you know like there wasn't going to be anything left i mean you know i just didn't have anything left so i had to tighten it up yeah man definitely i think that's that's the thing as well sometimes you feel like like you said i like what you said there the stress felt like i wasn't doing enough or whatever but it's actually it's like taking your foot off the gas as opposed to putting it on yeah i think that's an important thing yeah and now i'll shut down like if it's a certain conversation or somebody's talking to me sometimes if somebody's speaking in a certain pentameter or things are too fast or something i'll just say hey i can't even be in this conversation like i just have to like because you'll just start to kind of lose your mind yeah um so with the Tourette's was it was it getting cool or was it getting bad like what kind what kind were you getting because there's the cool kind where you know yeah no it wasn't it wasn't the cool kind I was like I used to do this thing all the time when I would go like this like I'd be sitting having this conversation with you and I'd be like this oh yeah like a third base coach in football or something you know yeah like doing signals yeah yeah so I used to do that shit and I used to like contort my back and stuff in ways so I had to get like this I wanted to get this feeling in my muscles when it felt like it was pulling and like cracking and like i was causing myself some real pain um and i had to just i just for some reason in my head i was i need to feel this to know that i don't know it was it was almost like it was like i sorry i'm saying like a lot and it annoys me but um i think you're doing fine all right cool yeah good good good um we can do no i've noticed when people say like a lot i've not noticed that today all right cool good good good.

53:14Um, the, uh, yeah, no, it was almost like when I felt I was out of body, I would try and do this like twitch or something to sort of bring myself back in. It was really weird. It was really weird. And I looked like I was like on copious amounts of cocaine. Like, yeah, like I was tweaking. Do you know what I mean? Really, really like I was tweaking. Oh, you were hailing a fricking air taxi with bobby taylor over there dude that's fascinating though so you would get a feeling and then the the some of the tics would make you feel like you're almost getting back into your skin yeah well that's what i felt like i can't speak for everyone else fascinating though i think they call it like a pre-monetary urge or something sorry and i think uh i am yeah i was getting them all the time and when i was performing it was like really prevalent because it was like You would get it if you're excited.

54:05Any sort of extreme emotion would bring it on or like tired or anything. So it was bizarre. It was really, really bizarre. But now I'm noticing even more. No, it sounds good. Premonitary, it's called? Premonitary urge. Yeah, fuck, I remembered that. A premonitory urge is a sensory experience like an itch or a feeling of pressure that occurs before a tick and individual with Tourette's syndrome or other tick disorders. Premonitary urges are physical sensations. These urges can manifest as feelings of tension, pressure, an itchy sensation, or a feeling that something is building up and needs to be released.

54:39Wow. Nice. Wow. I definitely, for 15 years, I had a, I'm still doing bad. Still doing pretty bad, yeah. I'm just two days off a premonitory urge, dude. But I needed it, couldn't sleep. this is an ad by better help you know workplace stress let's talk about that let's talk about that the the constant feeling like you have to put out you have to create you have to be able evolve it's a lot of pressure it's a lot of stress but keeping all that inside of yourself that doesn't help better help if you're looking for someone to talk to if you've struggled finding someone to talk to or don't want to be seen walking into like a church basement in your town or into a therapy therapy room you can check out better help that's who i'd recommend with over 30 000 therapists better help is the world's largest online therapy platform having served over 5 million people globally and it works with an app store rating of 4.9 out of 5 based on over 1.7 million client reviews.

55:59As the largest online therapy provider in the world, BetterHelp can provide access to mental health professionals with a diverse variety of expertise. Our listeners get 10 % off their first month at betterhelp.com slash T-H-E-O. That's betterhelp.com slash Theo. But wow, man, that's kind of fascinating. Well, one thing that I think is so interesting, um, about people like you who are like, you know, uh, poets, wordsmiths and, you know, and that's okay. That's what you are, right? You have an ability to share things through words and language is that when something like this is a part of your world, you can probably express it to people better than some people who don't have that same ability.

56:43Right. Yeah. Maybe, maybe, I don't know. I'm yet to like really delve into it because I'm still like figuring it out as well. I find I'm better. You're still what? Figuring it out. Figuring it out. Yeah. I find I'm better, at like sort of talking about something once I've understood it a bit more. I'm not really good at talking about things as they're happening. Do you know what I mean? Yes, 100%. Or explaining or writing about stuff as it's like happening. I feel like Oh, Jesus Christ. No, it's like things are better when you have a chance to look at them. Yeah, with the benefit of hindsight.

57:18For sure. oh yeah so i'm at oh that's the craziest thing about life though sometimes it's like i don't get i'm always waiting for hindsight in my life you know and the problem is then yeah you've gone relative term and also you've gone on from whatever the wherever you could have had an effect on things yeah for sure i'll always like delay trying to have like make a choice until things are in hindsight but then it's too late yeah you know sometimes i do that a bit yeah um when did you go to therapy for the first time ever was it after that no no i went to therapy I've tried therapy a bunch of times and like, no, it's obviously I'm not, I don't want to sound disparaging to any other therapists I've been to.

57:57There's been, I've been to amazing therapists, but I never really had like a connection with any of them or like, or sort of felt clicked. Yeah, for sure. A lot of times people go and they think just because they're going to what they're, well, I don't want to say a lot of times people do things. A lot of times I have gone to therapists for years and I didn't know that I, I was really supposed to have like a relationship that I could be honest in. It was like, finally, this was supposed to be like, whether I wanted to pretend like the therapist was my mother or my girlfriend or my brother or a friend, I could pretend like they were that and say things to them that I've always wanted to say to that other person.

58:33But I never realized that that's how it was a good way to use a therapist. I always just thought a lot of times it was like, just sit and talk only about how I feel. And it didn't matter if I was learning anything. I just thought, oh, since I'm going to a therapist, you're ticking a box there right i'm checking a box i didn't even realize that anyway sorry to interrupt you no no for sure and i think just to your point there i was going to a lot of these therapists and i was just i felt like i was just saying what they wanted to hear after a certain point to get i was looking at the clock and sort of being like right okay what is the what is the thing i can say to get me out here the quickest or to that that makes them think i've like yeah i wanted them to think that i had a grasp of like my mental health oh yeah i want to be my own doctor sometimes yeah yeah and and they would say stuff and i would then i just found myself i was i was parrying everything they were sort of when it went or when things and this is what's great about my current therapist is really good at this of if we go somewhere he can sense when i'm being avoidant or being sort of, yeah, being avoidant is the word.

59:43And he sort of pulls me back in and is saying, there's a reason you're being sort of wishy-washy here or anything like that. Was there an initial moment when you noticed them? Was there like one moment that you were like, oh, wow. What, with this therapist? Yeah. Yeah, it was actually, I canceled a session. I canceled two sessions back to back. and he was on on it like giving me i don't say grief grief's the wrong word but like he was saying i don't we don't have to do this he was very like forthcoming in the fact of if you don't want to do this this is totally fine but it feels like you're not engaging with this in a way that's um beneficial to you or to or like wasting his time as well so um for me i was that was like a I really I really respond to that sort of not letting me away with shit do you know what I mean and I find that in the sessions now as well I find it really beneficial when there's you know someone called I like when people call me out on my shit yeah because otherwise I'll just keep shitting keep shitting yeah I'll keep on shitting I'm always shitting oh dude the story on my you just fucking literally explained the story of my life yeah yeah it's like I'll fucking I'll fucking get a drum I'll get some juggling balls i'll tell a riddle i'll do whatever i gotta do for you not to corner me in a serious moment 100 100 so yeah that's been um i just found that to be really um i don't know like it was very uh i don't know i just felt it was really good for me to get that sort of response from someone to be like i don't like what you're doing you know this isn't conducive to a healthy relationship with therapy.

1:01:25Wow. So yeah, it was funny. That was probably the one that I was like, okay, this seems to be, this might be the guy for me. Yeah. Dude, yeah, I think now I have Tourette's when I, like, this is when I get Tourette's. It's like, if I'm sitting somewhere with my freaking girlfriend or whatever, and she's like, I don't think this is working out or whatever, and this is why, and then I just like, get Tourette's. like i just can't be honest you know i just get so scared to be honest i'm like and i don't really get like Tourette's like you're saying but it is but but it is a form of Tourette's it's this it's this get me out of here yes it's this get me out of get just yeah get me out of like i just like i don't know it's so hard for me to stay in a moment uh with one other person it's hard for me to stay in a moment that's not completely in my control yeah yeah for sure do Do you ever find that with like people, I always find I'm really good in groups, but then sometimes if I'm just one-on-one with someone, even if someone I've known my whole life, I'd be like, what the fuck did I say to this?

1:02:31Yeah, what the fuck is your name, Mark? Sitting in the car with my dad. You're standing there with your gran. What do you say again to people? Like, what is the thing you're meant to, how am I meant to start a conversation with someone? Do you know what I mean? Even like my best friends. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. I think I'm a good auxiliary player. Do you know what I mean? Good sideline player. But yeah, no, I empathize with that situation for sure. I never thought about it until just now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But that's my Tourette's. It's like this like, and I literally can feel my fucking skin being like, why are you keeping us here?

1:03:03Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know? Yeah, yeah, for sure. And like, yeah. I mean, I remember one time having a conversation, like a real conversation with a girlfriend in the car. And I literally put the window down and hung my fucking arms out of the window. Like, I wanted to get out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like as much of me as could be out here needed to not be in this vehicle having this real moment of me having to commit to this relationship. I'm going to pee really fast. Can we take a break for just a minute? Please. Okay. Into this tank.

1:04:03Yeah, dude, thanks for sitting. from going to America. Over there, you're going for a slash, you're just going to fill up a toilet. Yeah, I've heard of something more sinister. Yeah, over here, you're fucking making a Dateline episode. It's just crazy how things just really fall off as you go across the ocean. No, but man, yeah, thanks for talking about some of that because even it's helped me think, like some of those things, it's like hard to realize until you get into conversations where you're talking about some of this stuff. Yeah, of course. And then you got to be careful because your ego will start to be like, you know what you're talking about.

1:04:31So that for me sometimes is a trap and I think I got to like, just like go to more recovery meetings and stuff. So I don't get just that I'm the only voice I'm hearing. Yeah. Yeah. Of course. That's when it gets really scary for me. Like then I feel like I know something. Yeah. That's the thing. That's why I'm like, I'm really enjoying this because we've been doing the interviews all day and it's very one, sort of one way. And you start, I don't know if you find this, that if you're doing stuff or whatever, promo or whatever, but like, um, you're just talking about yourself all the time. And I feel like it just becomes this like, I don't know.

1:05:05It just fucks me in the head slightly. Yeah. Well, it's a shitty song, especially after, if you're a creative person, I feel like after a while, just talking about yourself is just a song you've played, you know? And it's not even, it's just like pieces of you that, it's almost like fool's gold, some of it in a way. Yeah, for sure. That's one thing I noticed about you, man, is just even an asking one question to me, it's like, cause it's really kind of a conversation, you know? Yeah, yeah, of course. Was drinking or anything like that a part of like stuff that, because if you were on the road, like drinking, diet, like not getting massages, massages is something that's helped me.

1:05:41Were there things that you had to adjust that were also creating more havoc for you? Yeah, for sure. I feel like I definitely drank too much initially, like with my, I basically had cut out booze completely when we were on tour on these, like for the last like 2022 I'd say I stopped drinking when I was on tour or whatever or 2023 I can't remember but um yeah because booze like I like having a good time oh yeah I love having a good time and I really enjoy I wouldn't be someone who sits by themselves and has like smashes beers or whatever I'm much more social like the social aspect of boozing and going out and having a nice time and stuff so but yeah definitely um I wouldn't say I was a problem drinker but it was definitely getting in the way there was an amazing um thing that a guy we were supporting um sam smith on tour in 2018 and the monitor engineer was a guy called lee was it lee remember lee and he said um uh to me you remember the remember this thing he was like you can get fucked up and you can fuck up but don't fuck up because you were fucked up and i feel like that's really stuck with me and there has been times where i have done that like I have fucked up because I was fucked up and I feel like for me that was but it is something that always ruminates like sort of like ruminates around in my head and I feel yeah I've definitely had to like curtail my abusing at times and be a bit more

1:07:18responsible responsible yeah choose my battles with it a little bit more if there's always an excuse to go out and and have a nice time and go have a drink or do this or that. And I'm like, I'm sort of all or nothing with it a bit. Do you know what I mean? I'm not, again, not like a, like I'm an alkyer. I just, if I'm going out, I'm going out. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, well, I think it's also part of you guys' culture a lot. Yeah, yeah. Like the binge drinking in the UK is like a, feels like a bigger thing than. Yeah, you forgot your fucking grandmother. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? No judgment.

1:07:52Nan, we miss you. Margaret, yeah. We miss you, Margaret, Melissa. We miss both of you. But look, but yeah, if you fucking drank so much through your childhood that you don't remember your grandmother, yeah, dude. People aren't shocked if you're like, hey, I think I just need to have some checks and balances. Yeah, exactly. But yeah, no, and like you say, diet and stuff like that has been important. I'm trying not to eat as much shite. I've lost, I don't know what it would be in pounds, two stone since, what is two stone in pounds? two cents 40 pounds i think let's take a gander at it to 28 pounds 28 pounds since the start of the year which i'm kind of fast yeah i feel good about that uh and i want to lose more and stuff but the problem with it when you're really fat because i was i was 20 stone at the start of the year so what is that i'm just giving my weight away here i was 280 pounds at the start of the year how do you understand that guy you heard him

1:08:51he uses no letters at all in his words fucking two letters 11 words god i would never figure you out in a crossword puzzle i'd never fucking if you had a crossword puzzle it'd be to speak 70 words in it i'm just joking man but yeah but yeah so i'm trying i'm trying to like get on top of that and stuff and just really um uh yeah sort that stuff out as well but obviously it's a process and do you have like do you have like a like more of a team now supporting you or did you have to bring other people on i mean you said you got a therapist now you work with some um my brother's training me at the minute oh that's good the brother that i text and stuff he's like a qualified personal trainer now so that's great uh so he's been coming down to london and training me and stuff that's been lovely and with diet and stuff he's been helping etc but um you feel better about it yeah i feel better about it i'm not i hate it i hate exercising yeah i fucking hate it like it's i mean people can probably tell by looking at me but like i'm not i fucking hate it oh dude there's this pull up my tiktok to save ones um there was this dude the other day he had the funniest thing uh that i saw on there it's a uh kind of like a black guy about 30 years old but it was pretty good save tiktok's hood easter bunny sex human implanted with no like plays a game scary study about microplastics this is a real uh oh this is behind the scenes into my brain.

1:10:11You're getting inside the brain here. I didn't realize that until just now. It's a little bit alarming. I ain't gonna lie, you never realize how long a minute is until your ass starts fucking exercising. That's so true. It's so true. Honestly. You never realize how long a minute is. When you do like a plank. Yeah. You're like, what the fuck? Fuck me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's intense. We got all the time in the world. Yeah. Who is that guy? I just want to say his name. Richie Getz. Richie Getz. Richie Getz. Shout out Richie Getz. Shout out Richie Getz. That's hilarious, dude. Dude, you have to get on a bunch of medication.

1:10:49You're right. I'm on an antipsychotic just now called aripiprazole. I was on antidepressants. I was on sertraline, which I think is Zoloft. Oh, yeah, I'm on there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That was interesting. Really, I couldn't, it didn't really, it just made me numb. Yeah, I can't feel a lot. Yeah, I can't feel a lot. and really I couldn't get like a hard on to save my life. Oh yeah. Yeah. And when I did, it would be like this, it would be like a roller coaster that just kept going up. Oh. It never came down. Oh God. It was like, it was an intense period of time. But I, but I, yeah. So I came off that.

1:11:27But then the thing is coming off it is like an, is really an intense experience. Unreal. And no one really gave me that heads up. So I was like really like low and, and sort of, I wouldn't say I've ever, I'm always really careful about using the word depressed or whatever but it's the closest I've felt to that feeling I feel like in my life yeah it's scary it feels like a trap door inside you opened up like right in the middle of you yeah yeah yeah fucking spot on like it was so yeah so so intense so yeah I was on that for a bit I don't think I maybe needed to be on that especially for as long as I was and for the dose I was on or whatever but yeah I'm only on this are pepazole antipsychotics like five milligrams that was really scary when they were like um when they offered it up yeah because it sounds scary antipsychotic i'm like i'm not i'm not psychotic hope he was doing better than that yeah yeah but i yeah but i'm on it now and at five milligrams before i go to bed and it's and it's helped change my life genuinely yeah it's genuinely been a massive massive help um just did everything like my mood my anxiety levels are so low these days.

1:12:34I'm just, the stress that I used to feel, I don't feel as stressed. I mean, I don't know if it's all related to this or other choices. I guess it's an amalgamation of things. Right. That's amazing though. What's that called? Aripiprazole? Shit, maybe I'll try it. Get on that shit. Oh yeah, I'll buy a bag of that. Yeah. What are the uses? Can we go down the uses? Treat a range of mental... Aripiprazole is used to treat a range of mental health conditions. Yeah, there you go. Tourette's. Schizophrenia, bipolar 1, major depressive disorder, irritability associated with autism Inspector's Disorder.

1:13:04And Tourette's, there you go. Made it in the very end. Yeah, just snuck in there. Snuck in there at the end. As the door was closing, slid on my knees. Maybe I would try that, man. Yeah, it's good to know. Oh, what do you think about your songs being used on the voice and stuff like that? I'm all for it, man. In these foreign countries, though. Eh. Remember in this time I feel there's no one to save me. It's like fast and lifts with a melody there. This is beautiful. This is a really lovely thing. That is cool. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, you're right.

1:13:47Can you write this? I wrote a song, yeah. I wrote this one, yeah. Oh, and he got to turn around. Come on now. Well, hope so. It's a damn kid. Look at him. God, at least turn around and tell him. Yeah. Fucking give him some Uber money. these are rich people this is incredible I think this is beautiful this is like a really nice use of it and stuff and he's great he's incredible

1:14:13wow dude imagine how brave you have to be to be that age and be able to continue to stand there and sing go on

1:14:24It's pretty good. That's good. I think you should sell the song to him. Yeah, yeah, exactly.

1:14:36Yeah, no, I love all this. Oh, it's cool, man. Yeah, this is cool, man. I hadn't seen this. Look at him just channeling. Yeah, it gets a little bit too good, though. Do you know what I mean? It does. Just relax. Just calm down a little bit. Yeah, like, huh? Somebody throw him a frickin' rugby ball. Definitely put him on the pitch and see who he really is. Just getting a little bit too fucking good for my liking. Oh, that's beautiful. No, that's amazing. That's incredible. And what's that young man's name? Wow. Oh, wow. Bjarn. Bjarn? Bjarn. Go on, Bjarn. Go on, Bjarn. That's amazing, man. Yeah, you know, I just think it's interesting.

1:15:13Even watching that, it's like music's just such a conduit for other people to feel, you know? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it's crazy that the words can come out of some person, some pen, some, a moment of feeling, and then it, it can metastasize. And that's the thing. I think, um, you never expect, like when you're writing the song, you're not thinking about that. You're not thinking someone will sing this on a TV show in Germany or, or a TV show. Like they did it in the mass singer and stuff over here. And it's just like, it feels really, um, I guess it's like an honor that, that people would take it and, and want to sing it like that.

1:15:47Yeah. especially someone who's like a 10 year old kid. Oh yeah. Pretty, pretty spectacular. So, yeah, I love it, man. I just want to, anything that gets, and the thing is getting the music out there and it's, people are hearing it. And yeah, I think it's, yeah, it's amazing when that starts to happen. Do, is it tough to try to like, whenever you recalibrate to write again, right? When you recalibrate, I know you have a new song that survive, no, survive, survive that just came out. Is it tough to, and congrats, it's great man thanks man i just started listening to it so sometimes it takes me a bit even with songs i'll listen to somebody's album the first time but like that's trash yeah two weeks later i will be fucking i'm the exact same crying in the fucking back of my car yeah i'm the exact same by myself dude i drove myself there and then got in the back and cried like this is bad but the music's good um what uh is it hard to recalibrate like do you feel like you have to write for the like now you write trying to write for the stars like how does that get that's got to be interesting yeah i think um i'm not like a massive uh fan of i didn't grow up writing poetry or grow up i wanted to play live gigs and i so it became a thing of um right everyone i know who plays live gigs who i look up to is like singers or whatever they all have their own songs so i will write my songs and then everyone i know who at the time who i looked up to they all played guitar so i'll learn how to play guitar so that i need to learn the guitar so i can write songs to then play them live do you know i mean so it was always just uh everything was a means to an end to get on stage and play live um so even now i'm like when i'm in uh you know uh studios or whatever it's i find it I do struggle a lot with like writing that song there, uh, it took me like a year to finish that thing of, um, people saying, uh, you know, and I, I do get it.

1:17:47The best songs come the quickest or whatever, but that's like my biggest song. And that's, um, that took me so long. And I think there is something to be said for, you know, persevering with stuff like that a little bit. But, um, so yeah, when I get back to writing now, it is, sometimes it's really difficult. Like I really, um, have a hard time just i find it hard sometimes to get what i'm thinking articulate what i'm what i'm trying to say i suppose yeah um and i find that and lots of different walks of life or whatever but um with yeah with writing especially i i don't find it as easy as maybe i think i overthink things now a lot more and yes because i feel that people might actually hear this thing that i'm making do you know what i mean whereas before for sure before it was like no cunts gonna fucking listen to this do you know what i mean so um i um yeah i really uh yeah i really now overthink that but again this is something i'm trying to unlearn and sort of yeah get back to sort of basics and just write for me and because i want to write and because i want to play and stuff like that so um yeah it's always a bit of a difficult thing for me.

1:19:01I don't, I don't find it. I don't like wake up. I have to write something today. Do you know what I mean? That doesn't like, not always in it. Not always anyway. Right. I feel like, you've got to follow the feelings when you do have them. So for example, I haven't written a song in like six months recently. Yeah. So for the last six months, I've not written anything. Good for you though. Yeah. I feel like it was important to not, to just take a bit of a break off. I don't know if it's, is it the same with like when you're in standup or? Oh, I think there's times like I'm looking forward to taking a little bit of a break.

1:19:32But at the same time, there's a part of me that's looking forward to starting with new stuff. So I'm just grateful that that little part of me exists because there's times that I'm like, well, I still want to do this. Or, you know, I think we all kind of feel those things at certain moments of like taking a break from something. Will it still be there when we come back? But then let's say the absence that makes you when you miss it. That's a massive thing. as well and missing that sort of um where you hear somebody write a great joke and you're like i gotta give it i gotta try again yeah of course like the other day i heard chris rock talking and i was like oh he's just my favorite yeah and him and louis tk and i was like oh man i just can't even believe like i gotta get out there and try again and see what else is inside of me if there's more than i'm capable of you know it's not necessarily like a competitive thing maybe it's I always find when I hear, if a friend of mine writes an amazing song and I hear it on the radio, I go, fuck, that's so incredible.

1:20:26It's not like I'm not wanting to, I need to be better than them. It's like, oh, I'd love to try and write something that comes anywhere close to how great that is. Do you know what I mean? Or just to see what's in me. I have no idea what's inside of me. Fuck, I didn't know anything was inside of me. Exactly. You know, and then some shit came out, and it's been in it. So yeah, just like trying to figure out what's inside of me. is there a lyric that you've ever written that you feel really proud of kind of like is there one that there's like a song I wrote called How I'm Feeling Now which I wrote when I was really in the sort of shit with stuff and the lyric is so here's to my beautiful life that seems to leave me so unsatisfied no sense of self but self obsessed I'm always trapped inside my fucking head on and on and on I thought I'd be happier somehow if you're wondering how i'm feeling now and it's kind of about like my um uh how i was feeling in terms of i've got everything i ever wanted and i'm this like yeah i'm so sad i mean i don't feel how i thought i would feel when i when i got to this point uh so that's something i'm really proud of there's also a song on this upcoming um uh this upcoming we're doing an ep at the minute or we're releasing a bunch of stuff and there's a song called the day that i die that i'm really really proud of and it's just like uh yeah it's a bit it's about that time when i was really feeling at my lowest that um i'm really excited for people to hear that's cool man yeah man no i'm buzzing i'm buzzing about getting out there and seeing what people think yeah yeah i wonder i'm trying to think like i love uh i like a lot of like uh like uk like um like dermot kennedy came on the podcast.

1:22:11Yeah, yeah, yeah. Dude, that'd be, if you and him did a collaboration, that'd be pretty amazing. Yeah, he's incredible. He's so good. Dermot and I, we were releasing stuff. We'd kind of come up around the same time, especially in that UK, Ireland sort of scene and stuff. But he is, his voice is like, if I, when I was growing up, if there was an artist like Dermot Canna, that was the sort of artist that I would have been like all in on. That would have been like my sort of, that's my type of shit. Do you know what I mean? Like his last song, Let Me In or something, I think it's called. that's brilliant uh it's an amazing amazing song let me take a gander at it real quick let me in i could have stayed never went home it might have been brief but at least i was free from all of my ghosts yeah they live in my head like reflections on water that only come once I still haven't learned Deceptions in the cinematic version of law I can't get it all These days All the world doesn't sing to me Quite how it used to seem This life Is a touch too damn much for me Maybe that's meant for me

1:23:35Cause I know there's a room where I'm happy But I can't find my way to the door Tell me who wins the war In my heart and my head I forgot what I'm suffering for He's brilliant. He's great, man. That's awesome. Yeah, dude, if you guys did, there'd be no tears. They'd fuck. The oceans would be full. If you and Dermot Kenny did a song together, the oceans would be full, man. It'd be done. It'd be a wrap. It'd be 100 % salt water for the planet. We're done. The deserts are done. I'd love to, man. Or James Blake. Did you ever listen to James Blake? I love James Blake as well. Yeah, retrograde and stuff like that.

1:24:14Yeah, if you guys had like a, I'm just trying to think of things that I like. Sorry, I'm trying to fucking pin work on you. Or just like an up, because then it would be like, or like, I wonder if he's ever done any remixes of your stuff. I don't know. I'm just thinking of like, I guess British artists that I know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But James is such a. Yeah, Sam Fender. Sam Fender? Sam Fender's incredible Kind of like He's got that sort of like Bruce Springsteen-y thing Going on as well He's fucking He's probably like One of the biggest Maybe the biggest In the UK just now Is he really? Yeah he's I went to see him Fucking At London London Stadium Recently He's a fucking Special special special Wow And it says he just Canceled shows He had mental health He was Yeah yeah yeah Do you know what's so funny It's become Every single this is again not to go back to like fame or whatever or even just it's really kind of sad but like every person i know who's achieved something that they grew up aiming for or dreaming of or whatever seems to have this sort of seems to struggle with it when it when they get it well i think i think we're at a time where there's never been as much coverage of things.

1:25:27There's never been, we've never been in this time before as society. We've had people that have had popularity and fame over years, right. Um, or have achieved different amazing things or interesting things. Um, but we've never had this much coverage, this much, uh, I think this much reflection of ourselves maybe. Um, so, and I think people are suffering from it at all. I think, I think it's a little bit of people are dealing with that at all levels, you know at all levels of their lives but it is kind of fascinating because every every generation you're into a new experience so how does fame fit in this world when the reflection in the in the pond has gotten so much bigger yeah um yeah man but yeah something upbeat like if you guys and james blake did like a trap just something like fucking you know because he does like some i'm just thinking of interesting things that i like but i'll have to check out sam fender um let me think i want to ask you another oh do you have a brother you have a brother i got two brothers and a sister.

1:26:25I'm the youngest of four. And what are they like? They're good, man. They're great. Obviously, we're all two years apart. Yeah, same in my family. Yeah, yeah. So how many are you? Four total, two and two. Oh, is it? Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Any Hardys in your own? It's an old American joke, you know? It's an old Catholic joke. I'm Catholic as Oh, yeah. Yeah, there you go. Oh, yeah, brother. Good on you, sir. But, oh, that's us. Oh, there you go right there. There you go. That's me on the left there with the big ears. Oh, there you go. Christ, I got some myself, lad. Yeah, there you go. Oh, yeah. Oof.

1:27:03That's a good noise to make. We'll be fine. Oh, mine can hear yours. I think mine are bigger. Okay, take me left to right. That's you right there. And when's this picture taken, do you know? I must be about two there, so maybe like 1998, 1999. Maybe, I don't know. I'm totally fucking guessing. But that's my sister, Danny, there. That's my brother, Warden. Warden? Warden. Oh, wow. W-A-R-E-N. Oh, Warden. Warden. And that's Aidan on the right there. But yeah, they're great. Like, I love them. What are they like? What does Danny like to do? She's a very social person. She's very outgoing, very funny.

1:27:42Oh, beautiful lady. Yeah, they are. and yeah they're all yeah they're all great like we get on and what about Warren is he alright yeah he's great he was a musician so he kind of got me into sort of music and stuff like that he was sort of the I guess the catalyst oh yeah and he was the older brother he's the oldest oh everybody wants to be like their older brother yeah yeah of course man he's amazing he's a great guy and Aiden as well the closest me and Aiden used to share a room so we were probably like let's say maybe the closest of the four of us but it's So it's an interesting one because it's like, I'd do, obviously we'd do anything, but if one of them phoned me and was like, do you want to go for a beer?

1:28:19I'd be like, what's happened? Do you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. What's going on here? Do you know what I mean? It's that sort of relationship. But they're, but yeah, they're great. It's amazing. Very, very close family. They're my mum and dad as well. Yeah. It's a really, yeah, it's a nice sort of support network. Yeah. I saw some of your family on the documentary, I think. on Netflix. It was pretty cool to see. yeah man yeah they're great my dad and my mom are very um no-nonsense like um yeah working class they're scotts regions yeah proper proper proper um yeah just salt of the earth people and i feel like that's really helped in my like they are very self-deprecating we all take the piss out of each other stuff like that so it feels um yeah that's really sort of shaped i guess who I am these days.

1:29:06Do you know what I mean? But they're great. It's amazing to have them because I speak to them most. My mom and dad especially, I speak to them most days. Yeah. Yeah, I try to anyway. But yeah, they're great. Nice, man. Yeah, it's nice to include them too. You were working with BetterHelp. I do want to say that before you leave because they sponsor our program a lot and we'll have them in this episode too. But you are working with BetterHelp to give away... Yeah, 734 ,000 free hours of therapy is the thing. It was like, so it's an hour, a thousand hours for every single day that I took off and I was away from touring and all the rest of it.

1:29:45I just felt like therapy was such a positive experience for me and things that I did and really, yeah, it just really made me feel quite, it's just got me back to where I was. Yeah, I mean, we're talking about it. It's part of your life now. Yeah, and I feel like if I can sort of give people, because I don't necessarily think therapy is for everybody at all. Some things are better left than a box under the bed. Do you know what I mean? I think... Talking about you, Ireland. Yeah. It's just a joke. What the shame in Ireland. Fuck, they should have a fucking... They should have a land. The Catholic guilt.

1:30:16The Catholic guilt. Yeah, they should have a... They should be... Ireland should be sponsored by BetterHelp. But yeah, and I feel like if I could open up any sort of door for someone to try therapy for the first time or get, because sometimes it's expensive as well. And in the UK, obviously we've got the NHS free healthcare, but sometimes that's like overrun at the minute and people are really struggling to get seen and get therapy through the NHS and stuff sometimes. And people might not have the means to go private or what else. So yeah, it was just one of these things. In fact, fucking shout out to BetterHelp for being up for it and being sort of, yeah, being so forthcoming and being sound enough to do this with us.

1:30:58I think it's, yeah, hopefully it helps some people. Yeah. Even just having that first experience with therapy, you know, and learning what it's about. And then also not feeling like, okay, now I have a therapist that this has to be perfect. It's just like a relationship in life. You try and find a good relationship. You find one that fits. But you also don't want one that fits too great because then it can just be a place of comfort where, you know, you're like i liked a little bit of conflict with my therapist because then i would be like there would be times i'd be sitting with my therapist and i'd be like i would want to say like at first i'd be like i want i didn't like what they just said right say they said something i don't like what they said yeah but instead of saying that i would just get quiet yeah right but then finally one day i was like i didn't like what you just said to me right and then they were like okay that's great right let's work with that yeah you know opens up a conversation and right but instead I'd always been this other way like oh I shouldn't want to hurt their feeling or this type of thing you know exactly but once I was able to change and I realized oh that's their job their job is yes they're they're hoping for that because it gives them something to work with I was operating with this different thing like oh everything's supposed to be completely kind of copacetic you know yeah for sure man um what else did I want to say that's about it you have a tour well I could talk to you forever man yeah man thank you so much for having us on I really I appreciate it.

1:32:19Yeah, dude. It's so cool. I was so excited about this, man. I think a couple of years ago, we started kind of DMing each other and stuff. And I just like, yeah, thank you so much for all the music that helps us feel, you know? Yeah, man. And thank you for fucking everything you do. Like this podcast, like I'm listening every week. Oh, class, man. Exactly. No, but it has been really fucking helpful for me in times as well. So I really appreciate it. You bet, dude. Yeah. I can't even believe we get to do this shit, you know? This great shit. This great shit. Yeah. Sorry. But no, dude, it's, yeah, it's cool, dude.

1:32:53It's just, it's cool that we get to sit here and talk about this stuff. And, and yeah, I'm excited for the new tour. So you, you, you're about to go to Australia, right? I go, yeah, I've just announced the Australia tour. We've got a UK tour in September as well. And was this stuff that was on the docket and you had to cancel it before? The Australia tour is almost the exact same tour that we canceled. But, so yeah, that's that one. But the UK is just a fresh one, sort of get us tuned up a bit and get us back into the swing of things and then yeah hopefully america next year and do some bits and bobs and i just want to do as much as fucking possible i'm like i'm back now and i really want to just dig in a bit yeah and get things fucking get things going again so um yeah man i'm fucking excited well as fans we'll be here when you get to us you know so don't you know don't feel like you gotta you know welcome back yeah man or whatever What the fuck am I talking about?

1:33:43I don't know shit. Yeah, I think everybody's just glad you're feeling good and excited to hear what you do, you know? And whatever you don't do. You're already great, man. Thank you, man. I appreciate that. Louis Capaldi, man. Thank you, brother. Thank you, Theo, man. Honestly, what a pleasure. Yeah, cheers. And Margaret. Margaret, not Melissa. Sorry, mum, for forgetting that. There you are. Godspeed, woman.

1:34:11I'm falling like these leaves I must be Cornerstone Oh But when I reach that ground I'll share this peace of mind I found I can feel it In my bones But it's gonna take