#601 - Dusty Slay

25:02with my initials under it. That's why you got to pee in your room. You can't go out on the balcony anymore. Dude, I mean, shit. Zoom back in on that bitch. I haven't looked at this in years. But yeah, dude, people would fucking steal the wood and they would steal. We had a fence right in front of that bottom door downstairs. And so people would steal that shit. So you'd have to go fucking find it. My mom slapped a kid one time because they took it. And she had to go to jail. We had a barn. My dad had a barn and we used to, we would take wood off the barn to build a clubhouse. Oh, yeah. And we thought the barn was abandoned.

25:35And my dad went out there one day. He's like, where's all the wood? And then he sees our clubhouse. Dude, imagine having such a shitty childhood that you think part of your fucking home is abandoned. You're like, well, fucking that's abandoned. He's like, that's where I work. He's like, oh, my bad. That's crazy, dude. Yeah, but the trailer park that I lived in, it did feel good. It felt organized. But there was, for a while, my sister lived next door to us in a trailer. So we had a trailer. My sister and her husband had the next one. And she married in to a guy who had two kids already. So there was a bunch of kids.

26:15We had our own little courtyard there in the middle. Oh, that's nice then. It kind of sounds like. And then people, my mom had a phone. And people would come over and borrow the phone, a landline. Oh, yeah. So it'd have that long cord. And so people would be out on the back porch on the phone with the door closed. Like they still want privacy. Even though they're using my phone. Hey, look, we're going to listen. If you came over here, we're going to listen. Yeah. Oh, dude, that was things like that were so much fun. Well, one thing that money gets you is privacy or even just like that's one thing I even saw.

26:53I think when I was young, like when you were poor, everything was right there. You could hear the neighbors, you know, in the apartment, somebody else would cook something. It would come through your vents. Oh, yeah. So you're hungry and you're like, fuck, they got all that shit. And now you're yelling through the vents, you know, fuck y 'all, you know, but order, you know, but also ordering like a number seven or whatever. Oh, yeah. So, you know, it's just like, but you would hear if somebody was doing something bad or whatever, if somebody was domestic dispute, you would hear all of that. Yeah, my buddy, his mom, he lived next door.

27:23his mom had him when she was real young. So she was like, you know, we were like, you know, early teens and she was still pretty attractive. And her and her husband, I heard her boyfriend, I heard them like having sex and the, and the trailer wall is real thin. So I could hear it out in the yard. And I was like, me and my buddy, not the buddy that was his mom, but another guy were like creeping up to the, and my mom's out there raking the yard. She's like, get away from there. But we're like, you know, we're like, this is pretty fun. We're here. What's happening. Yeah. Yeah, we're hearing this attractive lady have sex.

27:54God. Middle of the day. Oh, yeah. That was like, you know, that could have been Cinemax for us. Oh, dude, you don't just get something like that unless God has favor. Yeah. I don't think anyway. That's not an accident. First of all, two people comfortable enough to make love. And was it drug-induced, you think? At least alcohol-induced. Okay. But yeah, but at least two people making love during the day, and neither one of them is a victim of something. And they're being loud. Yeah. They're brave then. It's like, you know we can hear it. My mom's doing yard work out here.

28:38We're into it, though. We're like, this is what I'm talking about. Well, what if you don't really figure out, and you see your mom just rubbing the rake across the ground, and it's like, oh. And you're like, what is she? What kind of new grass is that? She's like, oh, oh. She just keeps raking. You're like, yes. I'm like, you're working too hard. She's like, I enjoy it. She's trying to cover for him. Yeah. She's over there. Sorry, man. I don't know if I was just laughing like this much, but that's hilarious, dude. Yeah, I just love, like, there was always something great about being in, like, in a shitty neighborhood kind of.

29:14you know um because everybody was right if you wanted a friend they were right there they were everybody everything was right there but then also all the drama and the bullshit was right there like yeah if people were fighting if people were like you know the dad was leaving everything was right there so everybody knew everything you couldn't it kind of was sad sometimes because you didn't feel like anything was personal to you it there was nothing you could keep for yourself yeah does that make any sense yeah i think uh living in trailers you're at least spread out a little bit whereas apartments yeah you would be right up i mean because i've lived in apartments since then but yeah we called the police on a church one time for playing their music too late uh on a weekday like the church was real close i still think about that that we all agreed at the trailer to call the police on the church it couldn't have been that loud we could just hear it yeah it wasn't keeping us up right but we were like no i don't think so guys god this is i mean they need to turn that shit yeah that's how it starts i mean should they turn that down and somebody else is like somebody else has had a beer and they're like well i can't hear my music it just gets weird um there's always talk like tornadoes is such a big thing with trailer parks was that a part of y 'all's thing or not really well i think any storm is scary uh when you live in a trailer right it's like uh you know we were just talking like uh about uh weather and like what what storm is the scariest and somebody said earthquakes was the scariest for them but i'm like i grew up in a trailer earthquake was the least of our worries there's nothing even really to fall on you but it's tornadoes or tornadoes even when we grew up under pine trees we had a ice storm once that froze a tree limb and the tree limb fell and it stabbed through the roof of the trailer oh hell And hit a shelf.

31:10My mom had a bunch of ceramic owls on it. They went everywhere. Yeah, it's heartbreaking. Yeah. That shit is heartbreaking. But so all weather. And so, yeah, tornado. We had tornadoes blow trees down on our trailer one time. Oh, well, down in Alabama, I think, they have the worst trees. If a strong storm tornado does show up, they literally have these tall pines. You can't really do anything with them. They drop pine cones. They're sometimes fun around the holidays or whatever. but they're a million feet tall and literally just waiting to freaking kill somebody yeah yeah felt one fell across the trailer another one fell on top of it it's almost like they're doing a game like that um like hands on the baseball bat like whoever gets to the top you know oh yeah it's like the the pond they're just going to keep falling until somebody yeah and trailers are just right under i mean the the tree weighs more than the trailer does you know there's more wood in the tree yeah there is in the trail oh yeah it's like the tree is almost like here use us we're right here you're living in this aluminum the tree's trying to help oh god dude yeah that kind of shit just fucking i'm trying to think of whatever else really got me uh oh dude well one time when it froze when there was a freezing in the south it was a big thing huge deal and one kid i remember we had a basketball game and it was a freezing and we were playing like the rival town and it froze right and it snowed at halftime and it hadn't snowed in our town in probably 30 years or something and so people were fucking going crazy and fucking drinking dr pepper really fast and just fucking amped up you know and stealing gas from each other that kind of shit people were excited yeah and one kid this kid lucas had went outside and an icicle i guess had had formed on a tree at some point and it fallen and hit him right under his fucking eye and messed his eye up really bad and his mom tried to like sue the city or whatever and all kinds of shit and she's like he i remember she's like he was never the same and i knew that fucking kid for that he was never the same before it happened you know i'm saying he was yeah the icicle didn't really mess up his path i think you didn't get it you didn't get a strong take on your son before that icicle hit him right oh it's easy to show up once there's a weather lawsuit, you know?

33:32Yeah, the city's like, well, show us some of his accomplishments prior to this. Yeah, and he was just a downward stalk out of the gate, I think, you know? I mean, he couldn't even fucking whistle, I remember. People were like, boo. But yeah, there was something growing up, like, in, like, a place that, like, I don't know. Shit like that was just fun, man. Well, yeah, you just get, you got some character, there's not a lot going on. You know, I mean, you know, we... You made the most of it. Yeah. I mean, we were just hanging. I mean, talk about pine cones. It's like, we love pine cones. We used to throw them at each other.

34:05You build fires out of the pine straw, burn pine cones, get a fresh pine cone. That's not spread out. It's real hard. A lot of spikes on it. A virgin one or underage when some guys call them. Not like these old, old wore out, stretched out pine cones. Oh yeah. Like a fresh green one. We'd throw rocks at each other. We'd ride the bike. I remember there were these girls riding bikes up and down the and we were throwing rocks at him fuck yeah and my buddy my buddy missed and hit me in the head oh yeah and i was bleeding i started crying you know there's no one to sue well also dude that's another thing about being poor there's no who's gonna sue the other person nobody has shit no attorney is gonna support yeah either one of you guys dude one time we're riding on the school bus and this kid jason and he was came from a pretty shirtless family like somebody got this shirt but they had it like not everybody got it or whatever but he on the bus that day he's like he found a rock that was pretty good and he's like i'm throwing this bitch today you know he was just fired up or whatever because i think his birthday was coming up and he's like i'm throwing this motherfucker today somebody's gonna get hit by this bitch and he kept showing it to me we kind of hung out in different little realms of school they had like At our school, they had the Hick Tree, Prep Tree, Blacks kind of went out wherever they wanted kind of.

35:29And then Hick Tree, Prep Tree, and one other thing. I think it was just like people that listen to Soundgarden or whatever, you know? Yeah, like a grunge. Yes. Yeah. Like a grunge thing. And so anyway, he was over by the Hick Tree, and he's like – and I would hang out over by the Prep Tree. I just had more friends over there. and at one point he had his rock he's all ready I forgot about it so at recess that day I'm fucking hanging out over there fucking rock comes hits me right fucking hit of all the people he didn't even aim at him he just hummed that bitch fucking took me right out you were hanging out under the wrong tree that day yeah but still I'm like dude just fucking I'm the only guy you know over there and he probably was just throwing at the prep tree 100 % He's just like, I want to hit somebody under the prep tree.

36:19They think they're better than me. Totally. I want to hit people under the prep tree. That's my attitude. That would have been my, I didn't throw the rock, but, you know, my mindset was I'd like to throw a rock over there. Yeah, somebody's going to feel a little bit of my pain today, dude. And I had friends over there, too. Yeah. I had friends in the hick tree, the prep tree, the black tree. I had friends under all of them. You know? God, dude. And I might have even been over there just bumming money off of some kids. Even the Laotian tree. Yeah. They were all my friends. Oh, dude, I met some good Laotians.

36:49You know who's Laotian? There's a comedian named Lucas Seeley. Oh, I don't know Lucas. Lucas Seeley. He lives in Montana now, I believe. He took me up there to, they had a Montana comedy festival. We had a good time up there. But he's Laotian. I met some decent Laotians over the years, and I'd love to meet more of them, to be honest with you. Well, Opelika's the spot. I think that's the Laotian of Alabama. Yeah? Laos of Alabama. I guess Laotian's not the country. Yeah. Oh, there you go right there. It's Lucas. I believe he is Laotian. He runs a, yeah, a lot of good food there. His family has a egg roll truck.

37:29Okay. Wet Heat, man. That's what you're calling the special. Yeah, Wet Heat. And it's, I like the name because you don't know what the name might mean, right? You don't know. It could be, hey, we're doing a 90s sitcom. There's a little murder, a little sex. You don't know. It could be a buddy cop film that takes place in Miami. But it's a weather joke, wet heat, humidity. I go out to Phoenix, you know, and they're always like, oh, I'll go, it's real hot out here. And they go, yeah, but it's a dry heat. And like their heat is better than my heat. And I get defensive and I go, yeah, but I like a wet heat.

38:07so that's what I tell them I like a wet heat so that's why it's called that I like it's a great special like I had another one called working man that's on Netflix now it's very good I think wet heat's better I like that I'm very pumped about it I'm all about a full spec I got a lot of callbacks you know I got a lot of things that a couple of themes that come around a couple of times and I like that it's like a you know it's like a Pink Floyd album the whole thing matters Yeah, I watched about 15 minutes of it, and I enjoyed it, man. I kind of get in, and then there's some spots where I really just surprised.

38:43Like, you always know you're going to laugh most of the time, but there's some spots where I really just found myself just like surprised. I can't tell if it was the delivery. I don't know what it is, but just really enjoying it, man. Well, I appreciate that, and, you know, it's about 70 minutes, So if you watch it 15 minutes at a time, you got about, I don't know, I'm not good at math, but maybe about four more settings. Yeah, I love that. You know? Oh, yeah, I can invite friends over and have it in installments. Yeah. Yeah. Come over. Watch another 15 minutes of the special with me. Yeah, I was trying to think because I don't know if I'm at the part.

39:19Oh, I am at a part where there's a lot of urine in it and talking about peeing growing up and how many times men pee or don't pee. Yeah, I mean, I got, you know, I got a lot of bodily functions in there, probably more so than any special I put out. But I like, you know, I just pee a lot. I drink a lot of water and I'm out here peeing. Yeah, and it's a wet heat. Yeah, it is a wet heat. How do you? Pee is a wet heat. It's the ultimate wet heat. Oh, that's something I missed. That's a theme I missed. Well, I won't even wear, I notice at night, honestly, Dusty, I won't even wear those tight underpants anymore.

39:54because I don't, it pushes on my bladder. Yeah, I don't like that. I didn't even think about this because I've been buying these kind of semi-tight undies or whatever, and it kind of, you know, it's tight. The band up here is tight. Yeah. And so then my bladder didn't even get to fully expand and hold a normal amount. Oh, yeah. And so like twice a night I had to get up extra just because I've chosen tight undies. Yeah, you got to just get loose with it. Just let it free, you know? I want to almost make a good cotton undie because they say a lot of those polyamorous or polymethylene underpants or whatever, the plastic's getting in people's nuts.

40:29I'm all about 100 % cotton. I wear 100 % cotton underwear. These socks are not. Jeans are. Sure it is. 100 % cotton. I'm all about it. I like linen, wool, cotton. That's where I'm at these days. Really? Not together. All on their own. Oh, yeah. I don't mix meats. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, you don't want to blend it. That's crazy. Yeah. That's where it's at, though. And I think I got like a pee paranoia almost. Like if I'm getting on the plane, I'm like, I got to go pee because if I get on the plane and then we sit there for a while, I won't have, you know, because if you board early, you sit down.

41:06That's a good point. And then by the time everybody else is boarded and then you take off, it's like it's a long time to get to pee. There's no way to win that exactly. Yeah. And then some flight attendant goes in the bathroom and they're in there all day. I'm like, what are you doing in there? sudoku yeah we know it yeah so we know it yeah but yeah i it's like there is no way to leverage that perfectly where you because if you get on early then you have to wait all that time before you even leave whereas if you wait and pee and get on last that's kind of nice but then you have to wait all that whole time in that line yeah i feel like sometimes i feel like i go now i want bored at the end i'm just gonna chill but i can't i can't chill i'm like now i gotta get on right now i gotta get on let's go ahead and get on yeah there's a lot of i don't want to call it anxiety because i'm not i'm not anxious about it but i'm like now i could get on right now i'm gonna go ahead and do and then i'm on yeah because anything out there you see the gate agent you see them the gate agent they're basically the saint peter with us with a lot of times mental conditions right they don't fucking they'll be like the gates closed gates not closed they'll be like we're full not you know i'm saying you don't know how they're going to be feeling and that you know they don't get treated well by people i realize that but it must be a hard life they don't seem happy no and then you every every time you go talk to them they just do like this they just do like this they're just typing away like that cat like that cat me yeah they're just typing away and it's like, what are you typing?

42:40What are you typing back there? Oh, they're probably just typing down the F word over and over again. That's what I'd be doing. I think anyway. I'm going to ask to see the screen.

42:58What else? Oh, you sold pesticides. Is that true? Yeah. So pesticides, I was a pesticide sale. I sold to Lowe's and Home Depot. That's what I did for years. I lived in Charleston, South Carolina. Did you really, dude? I used to live on King Street. Oh, you lived on King Street? I used to live above the Bebe store for probably about eight months over there. Oh, amazing. I lived on Burns Alley, which is right off King. Was it over there by Kickin' Chicken or something? Yeah, really close to Kickin' Chicken. God, it was so good. I used to tear the Kickin' Chicken up. If it was good, God. Yeah. Oh, hell yeah, dude.

43:29Yeah, I lived in Charleston for 10 years from 2003 to 2014. Great place. I loved it. So that's where I started comedy and I waited tables. That's kicking chicken right there. But it used to be different. That must be another location. They had a downtown like just a little. I think downtown's gone now. The downtown kicking chicken's gone. Yeah, it's been a while. Yeah. They had a little alley and then they had Harris Teeter over there. Was that there? Harris Teeter, yeah. Yeah. They had that joint. And then I worked at a bar called O 'Brien. I think it was called O 'Brien's. I think I remember an O 'Brien's.

44:03It was an Irish bar. On King Street. Yeah. Yeah, I think I remember that. And they had a band that played in there like once a week. It was a cover band, and I would go listen to them. What was the cover band? I feel like there was like a Molly Janes or a Janes. There was something like that. They were there forever. Yeah. Dude, I've tried to remember the name of that cover band for the past five years, and I can't remember. Ah, yeah, they were there forever. I remember hearing them when I first moved there. Everybody was advertising them, and then they were still going. and they would play Climb to Safety by Widespread Panic and I would they played a lot of like songs everybody knew like sing-alongs but they also played Climb to Safety by Widespread Panic and I fucking loved it and one time they let me get up there and ring like a ring a little bell or something oh yeah yeah I mean like pre-internet Charleston was like I don't know it was just great it was like this nice little hidden city I lived on Folly Beach for a while dude Folly Beach people would surf out there yeah people would get surf angry out there and shit like you dropped in on my wave and she'd be like dude what are you i know what are we what is anybody talking about i know i know we're just supposed to be yeah i used to hang out on the beach i used to drink all the time on the beach it was great they had a place called the sand dollar which i had to get a membership they had a place called the silver dollar bar which was over off on across that was kind of downtown but across oh yeah i got beat up outside the silver dollar one time i think i almost did yeah so yeah i think it was a silver dollar yeah and uh port side they had a place over there called port side silver dollar yeah there it is silver dollar yeah but there's always people doing blow over there yeah thankfully well that's yeah a lot of that going on in charleston dude i was there during 9 11 i went up there actually i was i hitchhiked up there to meet there was a girl that i was in love with that moved away and she didn't want me to be around her and she was right you know it was getting you hitchhiked to see her that's

46:00when you're willing to this is before uber this is when yeah how'd you get here i just rode with some strangers anything it took and it was like a it was 12 hours down from louisiana but i got up there and yeah it wasn't good i remember i was on her porch one night and i was like this has got to stop you know yeah that's when i shut it down and got mag together took some of the wood from the porch on the way out I'm trying to rebuild something at home here What am I going to make a shrine to her out of? Yeah Obviously her porch wood is the best thing to make it out of But yeah, thankfully nobody caught me over there And I just remember I was on that porch petting a cat that wasn't mine I don't know if it was hers And I was like, God, I am emotionally I've got some emotional issues, you know And then 9-11 happened when I was there That was kind of wild But yeah, I love Charleston, man Great place Yeah, it's awesome.

46:56My friend said you gave a speech at his school in Louisiana. Metairie, I think, is where he grew up. I forget the school. He told me. I believe you. It's a boys' school. I can't even remember. Oh, it's a boys' school? Yeah. He said, yeah. It was Rummel or something? I think so. Maybe so. Oh, my God, dude. That just came back to me. Oh, it might have been when I was just in student council, but maybe not. I don't know. Dude, I fucking forgot about that. That's crazy. it's weird how life will go on you just remember things that happen oh yeah yeah i mean like uh yeah the the brain is super weird like you can just it feels like channels just open up and you go oh whoa here's a bunch of memories locked in here do you think our brain have that all of our memories are available in our brain i think so but maybe maybe our brain remembers them differently because people will tell stories about me and i go that's definitely not how it happened yeah but am I remembering it wrong or are they remembering it wrong?

47:57I got punched in the face by a female firefighter one time. And this guy, my buddy, he tells the story all the time and he always tells what I said. And I just know that I didn't say that, but I was drunk enough to get punched in the face. Uh, so maybe I don't remember. Right. And then at that point, what, if you know you were drunk enough, it's like, well, do I want to disrespect this story by just trying to put maybe my current ego in it, even though I, but if I was drunk, I was out of control. Could that have happened? You know? Yeah. And then it's what I realized from growing up. A lot of my friends, I'll tell stories from growing up.

48:33My friends are like, dude, I don't even remember that. I'm like, you don't fucking remember that? I'm like, dude, that's like the only thing that, like that year that was the only thing that happened. You don't remember? Oh yeah. I'm just amazed that some people don't remember things. I think sometimes with us as comedians, like we're spending time thinking about stuff to write jokes about it. that we can recall all these things. But like people that aren't trying to think about it, they're like, oh, I can't believe you remember that. And I go, this is all I do is sit around and think about this stuff.

49:03That's a good point. And even if it's not me actively doing it, there's a part of my brain that I think is obsessed with being young and growing up and like wants to have all of that as much as I can. Here it says right here, is this perplexity, man? We started using this perplexity. Have you heard of this? No. It's an AI. the brain holds and organizes all the memories we are able to form and retain but it is not a flawless or complete archive of everything we've ever experienced memories can be changed lost or difficult to recall not everything is stored perfectly or forever that's interesting i know i wonder if i should get someone to come on sometime who knows really the deepness of this yeah and how could you open it up they used to say acid would open different parts to your brain Yeah.

49:48That's what they always said. That's why we like to take it. We would – because we didn't think we were partying. No. We were like, we're doing an experiment. Yeah. We're hiding in an above-ground pool for four hours laughing at we don't know what, but this is all under the guise of science. Yeah. We're opening. We're expanding our minds here. We want to – I want to listen to this Pink Floyd album and understand what he means. Yeah. Oh, dude, I remember my friend. We did some LSD or something mushrooms. I don't remember. And he had a flashback of an Asian kid that had allegedly lived in our town or something.

50:30And he got so scared. And then he went and he locked himself in a closet for like five or six hours. And we're like, fuck, dude. On acid? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. And he had anxiety ever since then. That was a lot for him. I don't understand how locking yourself in a closet would make yourself feel better. Yeah. He needed some better, a better, but I don't know. What do you do? You know? Yeah. And if I knocked on the door, he got very racial and very like, I don't want to say anti-Asian or whatever. He just was going through a lot. And I was like, I'm not going to fucking bother. What am I going to do?

51:05We're having a good time. Yeah. What am I going to do? Get a fucking one of those like straw hats and like a fish basket and fucking just go in there and rattle his cage. Hell no. I'm gonna support my buddy and that night we're at my buddy we're at another dude's house and I was like I'm getting out of here and he's like you shouldn't leave dude you fucking took all your clothes off in the backyard and I was like yeah well fuck you guys I'm not being caged up by this fucking white hate or whatever you know I just I'd get out there I'd go get in my car it was a 1984 Ford Escort and thankfully I accidentally got in the back right I kind of stumbled trying to get out of the door pushed the seat went forward honked the horn the front horn because I was in the back seat.

51:45The seat moved forward and honked the front horn. And his mom came out and thankfully shut it down because I could have fucking driven off. Yeah. Drugs can get scary, man. Drugs and driver's licenses. I've driven on acid many times. Really? Yeah. And it's a blast. I mean, it's a disaster. It shouldn't happen. But that's another thing. Small towns, you're out late enough. Nobody else is out there. no what's the danger really you know oh yeah the birds are gone the dogs even shut down everybody yeah we would drive around me and my buddy we drove around we were like so out of our minds i was like biting the steering wheel while i was driving

52:28oh dude i remember one time we drove pat we just taken this lsd and we drove past uh a cop and he stopped us dude and he's like what the fuck y 'all doing blah blah blah and we caused trouble in town before and he's just like uh i don't know what his reason was but he's like i don't want i don't want to see you i don't want to see you guys out again tonight and we're like yes sir no problem not a problem no definitely not yes sir no sir right yeah fucking we covered every base right dude fast forward five hours later we are just gleaming on this lsd we are fucking you know what i'm saying like i'm like kind of fucking being like oh you're saying shit like oh I think there's way too many teeth in my mouth right like oh yeah we're not doing good and we realize we are coming up on the same street exactly where that cop is parked and he's fucking parked there again and we're like motherfucker we promised this dude we would not and we're fucked up we are this is not gonna do this not gonna end well and we thought if we go, this is our idea, dude.

53:37If we go as slow as possible, he won't see us, right? He's sneaking by. Yes, yes. Dude, yes, if we go fast, that's how they catch everybody, speeding. We go as slow as fucking possible, dude. All looking.

53:58Probably caught us so fast, dude. Put us all in for the night. You're like, hey, we're trying to get home. You told us to get home. We're just looking for it, man. With prices going up on just about everything lately, dealing with money can be stressful. Luckily, Rocket Money can relieve some of that stress and help you feel confident in the financial decisions you make. Rocket Money is a personal finance app that helps find and cancel your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps lower your bills so you can grow your savings. I have seen Rocket Money work firsthand. I have friends that use it to keep tabs on subscriptions that they have and help them cancel subscriptions that they didn't know they were a part of online or on different apps.

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56:26Our listeners get 10 % off their first month at betterhelp.com slash T-H-E-O. That's betterhelp.com slash Theo. Did you ever run any issues with the pesticide? You run any good, any good tales from the, well, you know, I did that for like nine years and I'm just like, I got one joke out of it. And I, you know, I used to, you know, it was four companies. We sold to Lowe's and Home Depot. Those four companies. Uh, I dated a girl that was on the competition for a while and I'm pretty sure she had a boyfriend, uh, and she was dating me at work. Yeah. I love that. So we would just, um, you know, like you had to go to the store and you'd have to call into the office from the store phone.

57:13And then, so I would go in and I would call us both in and then we would go drink for a while. And then we would go back to the store and she would call us both out. That way the store didn't see us coming and going. So we had, I mean, we had a wild summer. I had, I had not all the same territory that she had. So some days I had to work, but on those days i was great i mean we would just party me and her and she was like she was real hot and it was like even the other pesticide reps were like she's dating you yeah and i'm like i guess so guys i guess things are turning around you just take a hit off that side baby off that pea side that's all right you know and uh it felt good and you know i should have been fired.

58:02I had, uh, but you know, I was, my sales numbers were good. I looked good. I mean, sometimes it's just, who do we want pulling up to the door to sell pesticide? Who are people going to believe when they open the door and they see, well, I'm just selling to the stores, right? So I don't have to go door to door, but I looked all right. You know, I probably was a little heavy. I've been drinking a lot. I was, I was probably, I was drinking all the time. So, you know, a lot of times I'd pull up to the store, clock in, go sit in the car, smoke cigarettes go to sleep you know yeah work right right yeah because it's like dude look don't act like i haven't had a job yeah and my boss was like you got to be there at a certain time and i was like it doesn't matter because the stores have no idea if this is my first store of the day or my second store he's like no you got to be there and i'm like well if i got to be there this is how i handle it yeah i'll clock in and then i'll go you know eat a bagel in the car and smoke cigarettes or dip.

58:59Oh, yeah. I mean, you got to find ways to kill time. Yeah. I mean, I'm the king of killing time. Oh, that's got to be your next special, dude. Yeah, I mean, I can sit in a car all day. It doesn't make any difference to me. You give me the radio, some nicotine, I'm there all day. Oh, yeah. God, I love that shit, dude. I used to love fucking sitting in a car. I remember I'd fucking sit in there. Like, a lot of times my dad would go do something. I don't know what he was doing, but he, cause he didn't have a job or anything, but he would leave me in the car and I would put, try to put all the seatbelts on.

59:32I'd like try to sit in the middle and put all fucking five seatbelts on. Oh yeah. Just do cool shit like that. Yeah. Nothing like being left in the car as a kid back then with no, yeah. I mean there was no, the cigarette lighter thing. Yeah. I had a cigarette, I had a Bronco. The cigarette lighter would like, if you didn't have your hand up there, it's so spring loaded it would pop out onto the floor. Yeah, I mean, it had some power to it. Oh, you don't wear sandals around this motherfucker. Oh, yeah, no, no. Yeah. I loved it. Yeah, I loved the way the cigarettes were built. You know, you smoke the cigarette and you just hold that thing right up there to it.

1:00:08That thing felt real. Yeah. I had an ashtray in there with ashes in it. I mean, it wasn't coins in there. I was using that. Oh, that was so nice, too. When that cigarette, because when you were a kid, if your grandparents or your parents left you in the car, you could push the cigarette lighter in and you knew it was going to get hot. You were not allowed around hot stuff. You weren't allowed to have hot stuff, but that thing, you figured out how to work it, and then you'd take it out, and you're like, I wonder if it's hot. And it would be, it was the hottest thing they had. And then you're lighting paper on fire.

1:00:36You're putting paper, and your grandma's like, where's all the receipts? Yeah.

1:00:43Where's my bookkeeping? Where's my missing posters for your stepfather? I don't know. god that was fun dude my buddy's dad um my friend Bubby Jenkins his dad would uh I'd miss the bus or just say fuck it or whatever because I didn't really love the government or whatever but um his dad would give me a ride to school and his dad would do my spelling words and blow cigarette smoke in my face to fucking make it harder for me to fucking memorize them to challenge me dude he'd rip two or three darts on the way there you gotta love that kind of help you're like I I really appreciate that, you know, because then you're good under pressure.

1:01:21Yeah. Like I learned to drive a stick shift with my dad yelling at me. Yeah. Like yelling at me about not knowing how to work a clutch that I've just tried for the first time today. Yeah. And so you're like, now I'm good. I can drive a stick shift for the rest of my life. Oh, yeah. Especially when your sexuality is under threat when it came to anything back then. It was like, you don't know how to do this shit, damn it. Yeah, it's like, this is my first time. And he's like yelling at me. And we're on a back road. There's not traffic behind us. Oh, everything was a Vietnam back then at times, man.

1:01:58And also the pressure, just growing up, everything felt intense. Learning things and wanting to get them right and be cool and know the cool stuff. Yeah, I mean, my dad knows how to do a lot of things, but is not a teacher. Right. So like you like think you're doing it right. And you're like, there's a lot of pressure to be doing it right. But it's never right. Yeah. He's going to tell you how to do it. Even if he told you how to do it and you did it that way, he's going to be like, nah, like this. Yeah. I'm like, no, this is the way you told me though. Yeah, but do it like this. Yeah. We're not doing it like that.

1:02:33I don't know where you learned that shit. Yeah. We don't do it like that anymore. I'll tell you that. Oh, yeah, dude. Yeah. I mean, I would tell you a story about my dad teaching me something, but he didn't teach me shit, dude. And then, but he would, once I was tall enough, would expect me to be able to drive in places, right? Because, yeah, I mean, my dad was just so old. And one day he's like, I think you can do it. And I was like, what? And he's like, I think you can drive me to Slidell. And I was like, I don't know. You know, and. How far would that be for you? Probably 17 miles, right? Okay.

1:03:06I was like, I could. I don't know, but you want to do it. Yeah. You want to support your dad or whatever. And I did it, man. We fucking got out there on the interstate. And why would he need you to drive? He was so old he couldn't see that good. Okay. But we had to get there. And so it was like, you know, what are you going to do? Yeah. Because he used to do those credit card sign-ups at colleges. He'd get people to sign up for credit cards. And he'd get me out there on the table to call him over and whatever, you know, and, you know, make promises to him or something. and uh so we drive over to like southeastern louisiana university or delgado or some school somewhere and we pull all this shit out he's giving out free candies or whatever whistles or something you know or it'd be like a whistle that yells a slur or something if you hit the right octave on or frisbees you know shit like that so he got he got money for the for signing people up for credit cards if people signed up i think he got like like a dollar fifty But I think it had to be approved and shit.

1:04:07Yeah. But I'd sit there and fill a couple extra out while I was there. Yeah. We're killing time. He had no idea what was going on. He'd be fucking asleep, awake. Fucking he'd go to get a sandwich, fucking ball of sleep over there. It was like a huge game of hide and go seek. And that's why you'd need to get to Slidell. Yeah, for sure. So you're driving, you're working it. This is learning things. He may not be teaching it, but you're learning things. Yeah, that was it, man. You're learning to hustle. Yeah, it was a hustle, dude. It was fun, though. Yeah, any other blue-collar kind of jobs that you had?

1:04:42Well, I did restaurants mostly. I worked at a restaurant called Hyman's in Charleston. I don't know if you ever went there. It would have been around. It was nice. It was nice. It's a tourist spot, but it's good food. Bring it up. I mean, it's a— I think I went there not long ago. It's a hot spot. they have um the um they have a lot of pictures on the wall of famous people that have been there over the years and i finally have my picture on the wall i'm finally on the wall i was like that's what i'm talking about let's go hyman's baby yeah and uh hyman's is great there were so many employees at hyman's that i run into people still all over the country that i used to work with Why was there so many?

1:05:23It just was, it took up, it took up three addresses on the street. And then it was a second floor, you know, first floor and second floor restaurant. It's beautiful. Yeah, actually it took up, it was like from 213 to 221. That many addresses on the block. It was great. We should go to do a show there sometime, man. We should. I mean, Charleston is the best. That would be cool. I started this, the tour my night, I started in Charleston. And so what did you do? I don't even remember. It's probably North Charleston Performing Arts Center. On campus. Oh, the gill yard. Maybe. Yeah. Very nice. Yes.

1:06:04Very nice. Yeah. I just did the gill yard too. Very nice. I watched the gill yard be built. So I was like very happy to do that. I mean, because a lot of people that I, that's where I started comedy. So a lot of people I started comedy with and people that knew me around that time all got to come there and see me. Dude, that's pretty exceptional. Yeah, it was a big deal. Yeah. Yeah. Because being a comedian, you're not, everybody thinks you're just hiding from your parents or whatever until you get something people can see. Yeah. It's a weird thing to tell people you're doing, I feel like. Did you feel like that?

1:06:34Yeah. I mean, even doing TV, it can still be like, you could still be not necessarily seen like you're doing great until they see you in a big venue and they go, oh, look at all these people that bought tickets to see you. Yeah. It like means more than. Yeah, or on a show, they have to see something. They're like, what do you, you know? Yeah. I just did Hollywood Squares. I think a lot of older people in my life feel like I made it when they saw me on Hollywood Squares. Oh, definitely. Yeah. Yeah, everybody has their own idea of kind of what making it is, you know? And it could be anything. It could be from any, you know, it could be some people thinking it's Charlemagne the God show.

1:07:12It could be some people, oh, here you are right there, dude. Yeah. Justin Long and Drew Barrymore were on there. Yeah, I did another episode with them, and I was where Jeff Dunham's at. So I was right next to Drew Barrymore. Wow. And she was up in my square, so it was very fun. She was, you know, I was like, yeah, it felt good. She's cute. What's some great folks in there. Yeah. Dude, that's exciting. That's like a huge show from growing up. Ron Funches is on there. Oh, who's the host? Drew Barrymore. Oh, the host is Nate Burleson. Nate Burleson. Yeah. He's awesome, dude. Yeah, he was great. Nate's a great dude.

1:07:46Very nice, very funny. Yeah. Yeah. super talented, man. I mean, what a, what a neat guy's a be able to have two careers, great football player and, uh, does a great job hosting. Yeah. I mean, I don't know how, I don't know how long this goes, but he's really great. Yeah. Yeah. He does a couple of different things. He does some different stuff. Um, you know, I'm trying to give any other blue collar jobs. Well, you know, I, I, I, I, I, uh, was a pizza delivery guy for a long time. I worked at Papa John's. I mean, that feels blue collar. I mean, it feels like, like stoner blue collar. Yeah. That's what I did out of high school.

1:08:19I did deliver pizzas. And it was great. I used to, you know, I was getting high a lot. So it was like, you know, you're riding around your own hometown. You know where everything's at. There was no GPS back then. So you know where everything's at. He's just getting high, listening to the radio. It's a perfect job. You ever whip a slice out of somebody's order or anything? No, no. I was very anti that, but I would. And I respect that. I want to say that. Yeah. I never mess with people's food. I can't do it. Yeah. Me either. I've never done anything like that, you know. But I had, I used to pick up my friends at the gas station.

1:08:50They would meet me at the gas station. I'd pick them up and we'd all smoke weed together while I delivered pizzas. That's fucking cool. I don't think they had anything going on, but I also think it was cool for them to just ride around while I was working. Yeah. So I'd pull up to people's houses with four or five dudes in the car, you know. Had a guy one time meet us outside and we were still smoking, you know, and it's like a little awkward. You start to get extra polite. You're like, how are you today, sir? Thanks for choosing Papa John's. Oh, dude. There's nothing better than that shit, dude.

1:09:24The awkwardness. Dude, I used to get fucking high and fall asleep all the time. My friends didn't want me to go out with them because they're like, dude, you just hit all – you hit like – and I would hit a lot of the weed and then I would literally fall asleep for the next four hours. Yeah. And they'd just pick me up and they'd still have to drop me off at the end of the night. I would just lay in the back of the car or whatever. And I think I was just growing at the time, whatever, and your body's just dealing with shit or whatever. and uh one night we got so high and they just started a taco bell in our town right and this was like the grand opening so people had come people came from 30 miles one guy rode a horse there people were coming however they could um some people didn't even get out of their cars they just drove by they honked um you know people would drop off their spouses just do whatever they didn't know what was going on that's big day and i got out of my buddy's van and they'd all been inside.

1:10:16I'd fall asleep. I'd wake up. I'd open the door and my fucking folks are right there. They had just pulled up and I'm so high and I'd never seen them when I was high before. Oh, yeah. And I'm just trying to just pretend like I'm not high, you know? Like, great seeing you guys tonight, huh? And they're like, oh, fuck. That was not it. That was not it, dude. You're like, am I talking enough? Am I talking too much? Do I normally look this happy? Good seeing you guys here tonight, huh? This is so bad. Big deal, Taco Bell. Big deal. And then somebody did, I've told this before, somebody defecated in the meat and they had to shut it down.

1:10:58And that was a true thing that happened. That was horrible. I bet that's happening all the time. Not just Taco Bell. I don't know. It happened in our town. And Taco Bell, nothing against you guys. I don't want to go there. but uh yeah i'm not even trashing taco bell but i'm like you know i don't trust people working these days yeah yeah um you ever go to a restaurant and see the people working there and go no i don't think so oh yeah i've walked in and be like let me get a good look at it is there anybody in here who's not nobody anybody look like they care in here yeah i don't think so i'm gonna head on out yeah somebody's just making there's even like a guy who's like he's just doing tiktoks of him peeing in people's food or whatever.

1:11:37You're like, that's insane. Yeah. Yeah. There was like a, there was a, you know, it was a bit of a Taco Bell thing going on for a while where people tell me it wasn't Taco Bell, but they were working there and these people would take the hard shells and they would just lick, they would go down and lick all the hard shells in the stack. And there was, that was tick tocks for them. And then there was a thing where people are going around opening ice cream in grocery stores and licking it and then putting the lid back on. And that was, I think, kind of a black community thing too. It's just like, but if you're not putting the plastic over your ice cream, I'm not buying it.

1:12:15Yeah, here we go. Look at this guy. That's the white version of right there. But hold on. You knew he was doing that for you, even fucking. And that dude should be cross-eyed. The thing is, these days, that guy, both of his eyes are functioning well. We don't know if the other one looks good though. That's a good point. This is the other, he may be looking straight ahead on the other one. That's why this one's so far over. Dude, we had a cross. I do need to, he'd always try to like do his hair different. He's like, I'm like, dude, just fucking do you like no judgment. We love you. We fucking love you, dog.

1:12:47But you could have the fucking Mohawk and people are still going to be like, damn, that cross-eyed guy is doing what, you know? Yeah. Yeah. You see the Mohawk on the cross-eyed guy. Yeah. It's like, yeah. It's like, God, he must not be doing well it's like you need a very organized cut you know yeah yeah you want to be everywhere else you want to be as presentable as possible yeah you need a cut that tithes right your haircut needs to look like it gives 10 a month to the lord brother yeah you want to look like you want to look like something just happened to you yes like oh yeah it was just i fell out of a business meeting i lost a wheel on the rolling chair yeah just fell out of a business meeting hit my head really hard.

1:13:31Fell out of my limousine on the way here. This is horrible to say, but if I were cross-eyed, I would just always pretend like it had just happened, like something just happened. Oh, yeah. Like, look at this eye, guys. Fuck. Just sneezed really hard. Do I look okay? That's what I would do. Yeah. Yeah, you know, it's like if you got a zit or something, you go, oh, yeah, look at this thing. You know, you would always, I would always point it out. Like, God, my stepdad is patting me on the back real hard. Do I look all right or something like that? Or man, I just got bit by a dog. How do I look? Like, God, you fucking, you know?

1:14:02Yeah, you'd have to do something like that. Sudden cross-eyed. This is, what can cause sudden crossed eyes? That's a good question. Sudden crossed eyes or strabismus in adults or older children can be caused by serious neurological conditions and should be evaluated promptly by a healthcare provider. The most common causes include stroke, brain tumor, head injury, thyroid eye disease. Interesting. I think I'd go with this. Cranial nerve palsies. That's what I'm rocking. That's what I tell people. Yeah. Yeah, it's my cranial nerve. Yeah, I hit a fucking speed bump and my fucking cranial nerves all acted up.

1:14:36You know, that's what I would say. Or you could always tell the old lie. Two of your friends both threw Frisbees to each other at the same time. Oh, yeah. Yeah, or the uncorrected vision issues. Just go with that one. Yeah, just needed glasses and just wouldn't get them. Wouldn't get them. Yeah, my dad ain't no pussy as he says it. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, didn't need to read those books. Yeah, it's kind of weird because I would have to get two of the same book and just hold them each right here. Which is very expensive. It's like two monitors on a computer. Oh, man, that's ridiculous, dude.

1:15:14How do you feel? At this point, you have to start to really feel like you've made it in comedy, right? Yeah, I feel good. I mean, honestly, I feel like I never thought I would make it this far. I mean, I was just messing around with comedy. I hear you all the time now. Oh, good. yeah I mean I was just you know I was drinking and I was like yeah we'll do comedy and it was a good good way to meet women and I was like this is something to do on Friday and then I won a contest in Charleston and I was like well maybe I can do something with this and then I just started you know figuring out how to work the road and I started you know traveling around and doing road gigs and then you know I did some festivals and got on late night and I was like, oh, this is working out.

1:15:55And it just feels good. Yeah. I mean, this is because I don't, this is what I want to do. You know, I don't, I'm not trying to do other things. This is what I like doing. Stand up is so fun. We just did that outdoor festival in Winnipeg and outdoor comedy is typically not that fun to me, but this was great. It was a really fun show. Yeah. Yeah. That was awesome, dude. You saw the trailer park boys there? Yeah, I did. I got to hang out with them a bet yeah they were funny they were funny julian the guy that seems like like the real mean guy in the show was the nicest with the big hat with the black hat on you mean yeah yeah he's really really interesting guy yeah i mean what a lineup they had there they had miss pat there was still smoke in the air when i got there that was miss pat's friends i'm sure um what a lineup we had martin short malaney that's so cool that was yeah that was fun dude and just to be up there and see what it was like i wish i'd gotten to stay a little bit longer and i called out the mayor too much i think you know i didn't know who i heard you calling out a guy but i didn't know who the mayor was i was like release the epstein files oh yeah gillingham he just had the perfect name to call out i have no idea who he is but i got there a day early and i walked around a little bit.

1:17:10It was fun. I like the area. Yeah. I thought I went to a nice steak restaurant. Turned out I went to like a chain. The keg is what it was called. I thought, oh, this seems like a cool spot. And then my wife, who's Canadian, who brought you a mug, by the way, a Tim Hortons mug. We had a Tim Hortons in Hermitage now. Are you serious? They're coming over here? Yeah. What's the tariff on those Tim bits, I wonder? I don't know. I've not been, but I do see the credit card when she spends money. She brought you a note there. I don't know if that's a love letter or not i hope not but oh it's sweet thank you dude uh but yeah we had a tim hortons and hermitage uh but she told me that the keg is kind of a change kind of like the outback of uh oh which i don't mind the outback but no but it's uh tell her i said thank you yeah um that is well dude my freaking sister used to work at uh what's the one with the birthday one texas roadhouse oh yeah oh i was just in a texas roadhouse in alabama and they do uh they do quite a birthday thing in there Yeah, it's big.

1:18:07And they would always get Benjamin. He was like the gay dude that worked there. And first of all, when you see a gay dude working at a Texas Roadhouse, I support it. But at first, I feel like there's some conflict interest if some guy's like, this is supposed to be Texas or whatever. And then some guy's just over there fucking just like, you know, he's just like, you know, he's just, he's bouncing his dangly earrings off his own shoulders, you know, and he's like, they say it's your birthday. because the problem is they're all supposed to sing the birthday song but they start monopolizing the use of the gay employee to do all of them and that would happen a lot I would notice at my sister's restaurant Benjamin, gay Benjamin or whatever they called him I didn't call him that would get out there and he would have to do all the birthday songs so he started feeling kind of taken advantage of but anyway, I don't know what we're talking about well, you know, I mean you work what you got you gotta feel good Like they're like, it feels like nobody can take your job.

1:19:03Ooh, that's a good point. You know, you're like, oh, you, for long birthdays are like, they're coming in and they're going, Hey, it's my wife's birthday today. Is Benjamin working? Right. And Benjamin's not working. So they're like, we'll come back tomorrow. Oh, we'll come back when Benjamin's here for the birthday. We'll come back. Not even on my wife's birthday. Yeah. Because we want the big dog to do it. It's like going to McDonald's and only Grimace is there or whatever. You're like, right, right. Where's Ronald? We want Ronald. Do you remember when Ronald used to be at the birthday parties?

1:19:32Yeah. I mean, I don't know if he was ever at my Burger King. Was it Burger King? It was McDonald's. McDonald's. I don't remember who the crew was. The Burger King had the king. Oh, yeah. That guy is a fucking creep, though. They just had some issue with McDonald's. What was there? Something I saw on the news? Oh, yeah. That's what it was right there. Yeah. There's some Laotians, huh? Yeah. That's probably Opelika. There was some McDonald's news. I'm trying to think if I had another blue-collar job. Oh, yeah. I used to clean out Wishing Wells. I've talked about that before. We had a lot of wishing wells in our town.

1:19:59And they give kids like summer job. You could go clean them. And you have to get down there, right? Yeah. And oh, dude, I remember they had this. Like a fountain? No, like a wishing well. Like you had to get down in the well. Get down there, yeah. So you had to get a ladder and get you, you know, get down there and get all this stuff out. But there'd be money down there. Oh, and you got to keep the money. You got to keep a share of it. Now, you didn't get to keep all of it. But they didn't know. But you didn't want to be dishonest. but anyway the kid i partnered me with was this black kid and he i'd go down and uh he was supposed to keep people from making wishes or whatever while i was down there but he when i got down there he was like this is at a time in the world when i think a lot of black people didn't they were scared like magic and shit like that some of that was still you know because um because of whatever had happened in the past i think you know like get in this box and you know i'm gonna make you a millionaire or whatever whatever yeah whatever trick had been played on and a lot of black comedians whatever so anyway i'd be down there but when i started just talking up to him it sounded real scary i guess because of the echoes and shit so he'd get all fucking scared right and i'd have to go back up like dude it's just me like fucking chill out dude yeah he's a nice kid dude this kid named alton and but fucking he's like i'm not trying to make a wish yeah But he'd just be like, what's happening to you?

1:21:22He'd get so freaked out. And I'm like, it's just me. And I'm like, it's just me, you know? So he'd fucking run off and get help and shit. I was like, we're fucking, it was horrible there, dude. It was just fucking a nightmare. But he was so freaked out. But anyway, that was one job I had. You're down there collecting wishes. Well, you're getting the money, but there's also a lot of people throw trash down there. Oh, yeah. Crime equipment. I like to think there's somebody there coming to make a wish and sees you come up with all the money and it ruins it for them. Yeah. I hope not. I hope that, you know, that wasn't witnessed.

1:22:01It wasn't a lot of money. It's a lot of bullshit down there. Oh, yeah. It's not. I mean, you might get$4 out of there. Oh, geez. You know, nobody's coming up the ladder with fucking 75 bucks. It's not the ye olde wishing well. This is not the original. Well, it's not. Yeah. And they're using dimes and shit. There was no, you know, there's no dollars. You're not even trying to get a wish if you're using a dime. Yeah. You're just trying to take a little weight out of your pockets. The well's like, you're never trying to get this wish, are you? Yeah. The well even is like, boo. You think it's a ghost?

1:22:36You're just getting booed. And then out and runs off. He can't handle it. But they should have had some sort of a sensor in there. or if a dime goes in the well, just yells something at you. Oh, yeah. Like, fuck you. It's got to be enough weight to trigger it. Right. But, you know, when I was a kid, you don't have, you know, we found some crime equipment in there. We found a sword, like a bloody sword, I remember. A lot of to-go containers, people just driving out there, having a picnic, throwing all their shit in there. Oh, yeah. You know, people didn't, you know, a lot of people, I think, thought it was, like, just recycling and shit.

1:23:10Like, so, just shit like that. But anyway, those are the days, man. What's happening in the news right now? What do we got, dude? Nationwide McDonald's boycott planned for August 1st. So that's just happened. Whoa. So why are people boycotting? I guess you're finding this out right now. Yeah, the plan boycott of McDonald's in August was announced by John Schwartz, founder of the People's Union USA. Why? The action has been spearheaded by progressive groups who have expressed a number of concerns over issues including company tax avoidance and workers' rights, in addition to backlash over companies scaling back diversity hiring commitments.

1:23:51Well, I've been boycotting McDonald's for a long time, I think. I don't eat there, but not a real boycott. I just don't eat there. I don't like it. I don't think it's good. That's fair. You know what? I think, yeah, is it good? That's a great question. I don't think it's good anymore. I don't think so. There's hardly any fast food that I think is good anymore. I lived off Hardee's growing up. I mean, that's all we ate. There's a Hardee's right down the street from our trailer park. We had to pass it going to school, from school. I would eat breakfast, lunch, dinner. We ate Hardee's nonstop. Hardee's used to be really good.

1:24:27I like a Hardee's breakfast still, but I'm not into Hardee's lunch and dinner. Yeah. Well, I don't think these places should be doing dinner. yeah I mean I yeah lunch I'll buy it I'll buy you guys are doing lunch but you're doing dinner now I will say this Hardee's is just a Carl's Jr. in disguise a lot of people don't know that well Hardee's breakfast though is banging though these biscuits uh yeah I mean biscuits and gravy I used to get a loaded omelet biscuit this is back when I was drinking and I was real I was pretty fat I would get a loaded omelet biscuit and then I would get biscuits and gravy and then I would put the gravy on the loaded omelet biscuit?

1:25:04No. It was unbelievable. And they weren't offering that? They weren't offering at the time. I think later they did, but I think somebody found out about what I was doing in the parking lot of the Lowe's. One of these fucking ops watching me eat. Yeah. That's how it is, dude. Well, I sometimes will get a double hamburger from McDonald's and then it's not on the menu. Wow. It's not on the menu? You just have to ask for it? Yeah, I want a double hamburger. And they'll make a sound or something. If it's a black lady, it'll get kind of pissed or whatever for a second. You can hear them get pissed even when the mic's off.

1:25:36Yeah, yeah. Sometimes. Well, the drive-through's like that. You can hear that. You can feel the tension. Yeah. You can hear, yeah. But that's it right there, that double hamburger. See, to me, that doesn't even look good, and this is the picture to make it look the best it's ever going to. It's not even going to come out looking that good. Oh, this is its Olin Mills photo. This is its head shot. Yeah, you're right. I think bring up a picture of a hamburger from McDonald's. I would say from the 1970s. Let's see what it looked like. Okay. Yeah. But they had some sesame seeds on it back then. Oh, that's true.

1:26:09They didn't even put those on. Probably saves them a millim cent. Oh yeah. Look at that. That's what I'm talking about. Extra bun in there. I guess that's probably a, a Whopper or something. I don't know what, who has what, but yeah, look at that thing. That thing was pretty good. Now the Big Mac used to be, you don't even hear about the Big Mac anymore. Yeah. And dude, my mom, we would take us, I've said this before, but we would go sometimes and get a bacon, egg and cheese biscuit in the morning for McDonald's. That was something nice that we got to do during like Thanksgiving week. The hash brown was a full thing.

1:26:41I like that. I like a McDonald's. McDonald's hash brown. I still like. It was good. Full thing. Yeah. Yeah. It was good, dude. And my mom, she would order the McFish or whatever, but she would act like after we'd all ordered, I've said this before, but it still blows my mind. she'd be like um and i'll have and she would make sure we're all kind of quiet so she could order it yeah like if like she was ordering from like a special fucking menu like we're gonna eat in a private room or something she'd be like and i'll have the mcfish yeah she wants to separate it this is what the kids have had 100 now i'm an adult and i'll be eating this but guys go get your go get your sodas and she's like and i'll have the mcfish well you know i do that if i order coffee at like like a Starbucks at the drive-thru and I'm ordering for my wife.

1:27:25I'll go, my wife will have this. Right. And then I'll have a black coffee. Yeah. My wife will have a fucking wedding cake in a cup. Yeah. I'm sorry to do this to you. Yes. This is what she'll have. Well, yeah. My wife needs to take a nap in an hour. So she's going to have so much sugar so that she can do that. Dude, my ex-girlfriend would put like eight sugars in her fucking coffee, dude. We'd go to meetings and she'd put like eight sugars in her coffee. I'm like, God, that's bad. In my wife's defense, she is just getting cream in her coffee, but still, I'm like, I want you to know I'm not doing that.

1:28:04Yeah. Okay. And this may be a note for help. We don't know what's really going on there. We don't know what's in there. I didn't read it. She did seal it, which I found interesting. Well, that's sweet of her, dude. If it wasn't sealed, I could have read it in the car. um oh there was the jelly roll wrestling i saw that thing you see that i didn't see it this is jelly rolls wrestling now look at this fucking jelly roll dude look how fit he is oh yeah look at that clothesline oh jelly rolling logan paul oh jelly rolls the new undertaker just when you thought wrestling couldn't be more realistic it's crazy but i think logan didn't like some of Jelly Roll's songs, and that's how this happened.

1:28:50Oh, okay.

1:28:54So, and I know Jelly Roll's doing a lot of stuff to lose weight, but this is,

1:29:01this is like one of those things you go down to South America to get done. Who's this other guy? Is this other guy got any albums out? I don't know. It's Jake Paul's brother. Wow.

1:29:20Okay, I think that's enough. And look, they hug at the air. They're trying to fucking kiss real quick. But hold on, go back. There's a little bit on this video that is also, first of all, great job. What a move by him, Logan Paul. Yeah. Oh, it's Logan Paul is a good wrestler. That's amazing. He is what it takes for the sport. You know, he does that thing. Have you seen that Down syndrome guy that hits those two beers together and then gets in the glass? I only know Stone Cold to smash the – that's all I know. Oh, yeah? I kind of tapped out a while ago on wrestling, but – But go back to the beginning of the video, please.

1:29:59You'll see Jelly on the table when they put him on the table. Watch. He kind of – this is like me. Like say if I'm at a girl's place and like she's like, I'm going to go to the restroom or something. I'll try to make myself look cool, like get in the right position. Watch him kind of scoot over. Oh, yeah. Yeah. he kind of just moves into the right spot so that it works out dude that was pretty cool um yeah but that's wrestling dude that was big in our town dude uh one of our neighbors dated a hulk hogan impersonator actually oh and that was pretty crazy that was pretty cool we'd always get excited he'd come in the yard and fucking rip his shirt off yeah yeah you know jelly roll's a real nashville guy yeah my friend uh used to work at hooters and she would say that jelly roll used to come in back in the day as he's always been a rapper in town so i think that's cool yeah i met jelly roll a few times nice guy oh the best jelly roll sang to my mom outside of zany's on the on the sidewalk one time really yeah yeah i was like that's what i'm talking about oh he's just so heartfelt man he's just a human hug you know um and just his dieting how much is jelly roll lost it's got to be 150 pounds it's got to be a lot i've not seen him like that he looked very thin you would think you would want a heavier jelly roll to be in the wwe yeah 200 pounds it says in a year almost 200 in a year believable and his energy dude i saw him a couple weeks ago just after shane gillis had done his show with the espies we stopped in to say what's up on he was like out just great energy saying you know just like his energy level everything yeah i remember seen him a couple years ago and I was like, man, it just seemed like he was in unsafe territory health wise.

1:31:40I mean, just visibly, you know, you don't know. Um, but that's pretty amazing, dude. Yeah. We're going to go to Hulk Hogan's funeral, uh, this week. Yeah. I'm bummed about that. I always wanted to meet Hulk Hogan. I was always a fan as a kid. I got a little Hulk Hogan alarm clock at home. I mean, I don't use it still, but I got one, but I had it as a kid. Uh, someone sent it to me, but I had one as a kid, like, you know, wake up, eat your vitamins to, you know, say your prayers he was exceptional man yeah he was exceptional dude yeah dude i mean this dude would come over to date this lady in our neighborhood and he had it he would do like he would get out of his car and do the whole hokogan thing like he was going like when he was going up to his to the door to knock on her door oh yeah doing the doing the real american and he'd play the song in his car and we'd all get out there and fucking chill yeah fucking party dude yeah that's the clock yeah yeah yeah i got one of those yeah man it's kind of sad i mean i grew up yeah it's like just like my buddy eddie joe my buddy larry tisdale uh william teague we used to on our street we loved hulk hogan bro we loved him dude we loved all the wwe wwf nwa all those guys oh yeah we used to go i let you know in opelaga columbus georgia's close and that's where they had uh georgia championship wrestling and wcw so we used to go there watch rick flair and Sting back in the day.

1:33:01Yeah. Steiner Brothers. Steiner Brothers. Dude, those guys. Bushwhackers. I got a bunch of pictures that we just took on our, you know, our camera of, like the, yeah. Steiner Brothers, the only Jewish mentally challenged people, I think, in the South. Yeah. Yeah. You know, they just didn't have that back then. That's true. But that, I mean, that just shows you, like Jewish people are just so, like, they'll always figure out, you know, they take their two mentally hitting at people, they put them into wrestling. Yeah. You know? And look at them. they're stacked well some cultures we're putting our best people into wrestling yeah yeah we're giving up good guys for this dude and the crazy part was though that guy and the lady that got in like a domestic dispute and the cops would think it was just them fucking practicing wrestling and shit like that was the craziest thing if you dated like a Hogan impersonator or like a Jimmy Snuka impersonator or whatever because they'd fucking be clotheslining Like some lady in the yard and the cops are like, that's awesome, you know.

1:34:02Run it back. Yeah, yeah. She's a good wife. She's helping in practice, getting ready. It was just different times. We'll miss Elizabeth out here. Are you worried about AI stealing your job at all? Do you think about that as a comedian? I don't think so, but I do think I'm in a good place to – because AI can't even get the way that I look right. Maybe the way I look to other people, but it never looks like me. it can't get my jokes down people try to get it to write an ai joke it never makes any sense yeah and then uh i feel like my delivery is my comedy uh so i think and people tell me all the time i try to help them write jokes and they go well that's funny if you say it right uh so uh and but i also think i'm in a good spot to make enough money to where i can uh just chill because i live a normal life so I can just chill out if AI does steal my job.

1:34:59But there is, apparently there is something where they're trying to get some kind of, pass some legislation with AI where it's like, if someone is using your likeness for AI, then you can get royalties off of it. So maybe AI could do corporate gigs for me. Oh, that'd be nice. Yeah. I wouldn't get hired for a lot of corporate gigs because I like, just because I have more profanity in my son and your set's pretty clean. Yeah. Is yours set fully clean? I wouldn't say it's – I like to say I'm relatively clean, right? Where I go, I go, I don't want kids to come to my show, but, you know, you can watch with your aunt and not be embarrassed that you're watching it with her.

1:35:36Yeah. I get – you know, I got a few sex jokes and stuff like that, but nothing too – nothing graphic at all and nothing – and I like to talk about drugs. Yeah. Yeah. That's fair. Yeah. Yeah, that doesn't even look like you very much. Right. I mean, it's like people could say, oh, there's a guy that looks like Dusty, but he really doesn't look like me. Yeah. Oh, Microsoft just dropped a study showing the 40 jobs most affected by AI and 40 that they can't touch. Let's look at these. Phlebotomists, that's true. Getting blood out of somebody. Oh, yeah. Nursing assistants. I like that nursing assistant is listed higher here than like a nurse.

1:36:19Yeah. So are they saying... Hazardous materials, waste, revertible, what is that? Removal workers? Embalmers? Fuck yeah. Tire repairs, hell yeah. Prosthodontists, dude. People that make prosthetics and shit. We had a place that made some prosthetics near us and they would throw all the bad ones over the fence, dude, and they'd be in the woods back behind our house. We'd be fucking humming thumbs at each other and shit. Oh, yeah. We'd flip each other off with fucking kneecaps and shit. It was awesome. My wife read this book. It was like by Klaus Schwab. Like it was like called The Great Reset. And it was like COVID-19 and The Great Reset.

1:37:02I've heard about that. And it wasn't like some conspiracy book. It was a book he wrote. And he had talked about in there that like entertainment jobs are safe because people are always going to need entertainment. Yeah. but what if we don't have any money to survive do you think people are going to spend it to like rent a film or something yeah i mean if there's no money that will be tough it'd be tough to make money off live performance but i think we just make less money like you do it for cabbages or something right totally i think you would still show up and have a tent or something do it like that you know and sell like you know put make it a nickel or dime you know whatever the thing is I agree.

1:37:42And maybe that's what it would become, just traveling around with a cart and that's what you're doing. Yeah, now working for drink tickets wouldn't be so bad. We're like, yes, please. Dude, I always had a dream of working under a tent, you know? Yeah. I really... Like a carnival. Yeah, and it's peer-to-peer that way too. It's just, this is it. Yeah, that would be... I mean, comedy would be so fun in a way that if you could... You just traveled to different towns and just do comedy under a tent and nobody... Like the old days of comedy, Nobody knows what you're going to be doing. Yeah. And you can just do the same act for 10 years.

1:38:14It was all a surprise. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Here's some at risk jobs, writers and authors, historians. That would be one I would be kind of scared. Writers and authors. That's at risk right now because no one's reading. Right. Including myself. Yeah. It's different times. Statistical assistants, data scientists, web developers. kind of things you would think of sort of let me see if there's anything out there concierges models well concierge because you can just google restaurants near me yeah but then you almost do want to be like hey what's really good you know you want i feel like you to me you want but you're probably right models i feel like they'll be fine yeah models dude they need somebody to freaking do blow or whatever yeah who's gonna do that yeah oh now roofers no roofers are already doing drugs of their own that's for models um i did drugs with the roofers in uh gulf shores alabama one time i met i needed we i was like a late teenager and was looking for weed i met these guys real tan on the beach jean shorts and they gave me a little weed and then they took me and my buddy back to their trailer and they had all this weed in the freezer.

1:39:32And the guy had a home, he had a bong, but the slide, the bowl was made out of a piece of two by four and it was carved out. So he had, you know, still a slide where he'd take it off to clear the chamber and he packed it in and he goes, he was like, let me hold it. Let me hold. And then he wanted to clear the chamber. And then we both coughed our heads off. And then we got so paranoid. It's 4th of July, fireworks are going off we think it's gunshots we're freaking out this guy loves it he loves it we're freaking out and that makes it even scarier he's just laughing he starts playing electric guitar to your fears that's scary dude when you're scaring somebody's like oh you're really scared right now let me play this electric guitar for you yeah yeah and then it was fun we got to leave uh but it was like terrifying and then you're finally you never think you're gonna get out of there and then you're in the car and you're like ah and we got some weed dude is there anything better than you trapped in some place you're so fucking high when you finally get out of there and you're like oh and it could have just been anywhere could have been a conversation could have been a car ride could have been anything yeah and then you're finally out of there and you're like oh it's over now free at last i'm free yeah god that shit was fun yeah i love that what else we got oh in two separate um recent wmba games have been plagued with a new problem unruly spectators throwing sex toys onto the court hmm oh god indeed officials had to pause two wmba games this week because a person in the stands threw a sex toy on the court the first incident happened on wednesday in atlanta while the second happened on friday in chicago sounds like they're trying to pump it up yeah they're trying to get you excited indiana fever guard sophie cunningham shared on her social media her concerns about people throwing these NSFW items on WMEA courts with an ominous warning.

1:41:22You're going to hurt one of us. And what are they throwing? Let me see. I'm guessing it's. I saw a picture. You did? Yeah. And then what is it? Okay.

1:41:41Okay. We don't get to see it hit the court though. Somebody, first of all, great accuracy. and that lady kicked it just into the stands, which seems crazy.

1:41:54Oh,

1:42:00that doesn't even make sense. That second one I thought would, I mean, that second one was, that was a great shot. Oh, 35 to 70 bucks. So somebody's, you know, that's it. You're not just screwing around out there. Yeah. Somebody's putting some money into it. I mean, it is kind of wild, I guess, to, but first of all, I'd embrace it if I'm the WNBA, right? I would shoot those things out of a t-shirt candidate during pride month or whatever. Yeah. That's what I'm saying. I mean, if things get wild and people start tuning in, that's great. It's good money. You know, you don't want people to get hurt.

1:42:34And I guess that's disrespectful, but it's like, yeah, make it turn the negative around. Yeah. Let's put a positive spin on it. I mean, that lady was excited. and i don't know if that's ai it could be ai it's allegedly a picture of a woman um but that's an attractive lady who is very fired up and then maybe you make it like a there's one minute during the game it's almost like where they throw the fish on the ice yeah yeah it's like this there's like if somebody hits three three pointers in a row they hit a hat trick they throw a catfish on the ice are they they uh you know they're trolling sex toys out there bro yeah make it like uh you know like a pom-pom you know how like uh like in mississippi they have the bells isn't it like one like mississippi state has the bells the cowbells yeah and then like you know you have pom-poms and you have different you could have little vibrators so yeah just a bunch of vibration welcome to the hive call your place the hive or whatever oh yeah we're buzzing tonight and then you also have yeah like if somebody has three three-pointers in a row everybody uh throw a dildo out there you know Yeah.

1:43:42You know, bounce a plastic kick off the floor or whatever. And then you see people taking them home with them after the game. Yeah, dude. Oh, yeah. I mean, look. Like I bought a$20 ticket. I took home a$40 dildo. I made money here. Some kid has a collection in his room from like, you know, I don't know. I mean, look, I think you have to embrace it. You don't get free advertising like this a lot. And Caitlin Clark's out. She's been injured half of the season this year almost, or not half, but a decent amount. So you need people to tune in. I don't know. You got to get those viewers. TBD, man. We're all trying to get views out here.

1:44:21We're doing what we got to do. If somebody starts throwing dildos on the stage at my show and it gets people into it, I say let's do it. Okay. You heard him, guys. You heard him. Only if it gets people into it. If it's not driving sales, then we got to shut it down. But, dude, you're telling me a T-shirt cannon full of five or six dildas and they just popping them bitches off. People are catching them in the stands. That's fine. Yeah. There's a way to do it and there's a way not to do it, guys. We're just helping you think. But, yeah. Yeah, I think the WNBA can embrace more like lesbian-style stuff or d*** tactics, people call them.

1:44:54Okay. Yeah. You know? Yeah. And we don't have to call them that. What else? Oh, comedian Matt Reif buys home of couple who inspired The Conjuring. becomes guardian of the haunted Annabelle doll. This is interesting. Yeah, I've seen this. This freaks me out. I feel like I'm your friend at the top of the wishing well now. This is freaking me out. I didn't know about this. Matt Reif is pivoting to the paranormal, at least when it comes to his new pad. The stand-up comedian has bought the former house of Ed and Lorraine Warren, the ghost hunters who inspired the couple played by Patrick Wilson and Vera Famiglia in the Conjuring franchise.

1:45:32I've officially purchased Ed and Lorraine Warren's home. An occult museum. Where is that? I don't know, but I saw him talking about that this morning, and I like him, but I think this is scary. It's interesting. Freaks me out for him. Ed and Lorraine Warren's famous house, which includes the occult museum and the artifacts featured in many other investigations, is located in Monroe, Connecticut. The museum housed in the basement in a separate outbuilding at this location contains many allegedly haunted and occult items collected by the Warrens. The museum was closed to the public in 2019. As of recent years, the property is not open to the public due to zoning restrictions.

1:46:11Visitors are strongly discouraged. Wow, how much did he pay for it? How much does something like that cost, I wonder? You like that? Are you into this kind of paranormal stuff like this? I mean, I don't know if I would want to sleep around that or encourage another portal to hell to be open in my life. yeah that's what i'm saying i just think there's already a lot of dark arts going on out there and i do not know if this is the other type of behaviors we need it feels like he's going this is going pretty well let's try to mix it up a bit yeah i mean you're and he also has a shirt on that says god's country so maybe he's trying to get in there and refurbish some of what they're doing maybe so insane announcement i've officially purchased ed and lorraine's home um i'm incredibly honored to have taken over one of the most prominent properties in paranormal history the other guy shirt says rise above fear i mean maybe they're yeah they're trying to yeah turn it around they could be the new bieber and uh carl lintz yeah i don't know what they did but bieber and carl lintz where they they kind of had joined up and uh just had a relationship i think that part of it was based on their both of their religious oh yes yes yeah yeah yeah maybe so what would you buy if you could buy something like that or if you just like spent money on something wild i like land if i could just buy a lot of land oh yeah that's what because land is so expensive now but it's so so valuable i just love to buy a lot of land i'd like to have you know a lot of woods and mountains and creeks and water yeah well we could just me and my kids could just get on the four-wheeler and just ride around out there or just walk and explore get some animals I went to a museum, or not a museum, like an eagle thing outside of Gatlinburg where they have a lot of eagles and falcons and owls.

1:48:02Yeah, birds. Yeah, love that stuff. God, yeah. I'm all about it. I want to build a food forest where everything in the forest is all fruit-bearing, food-bearing vines and trees and bushes. And would it become like a pass-through for starving people? Or what's the strategy kind of behind it? Or just to have it for yourself? Yeah, just so, you know, me and my kids and family and my wife could just go eat fresh fruit and vegetables all the time. I mean, maybe if you're starving, yeah, you could walk through there too. Get yourself some food. Dude, that's awesome. I'd stop through there if I was really hungry.

1:48:37I would come by there. Yeah, that's nice. I would like to have a place like that. If I get a family and stuff, I'm going to get me a little bit of land, get me a dog or two. Yeah. Maybe a cat. I don't want to fucking who knows that's crazy I'm not getting a cat but I will try to get something nice but I love that dude but if you could buy something like Matt must really be into the paranormal I'm guessing because it's definitely unique unless they partnered with Matt this is the thing you have to realize about advertising they may have just partnered with Matt let's put this article out and let's make this museum really pop oh yeah you just never know but I mean that's how advertising is um yeah do you i'm trying to think what i would buy maybe like a small castle you ever see like i don't know i think that'd be fun little have a little you know like uh whatever they call the little um i don't know what you call them what on the sides of the castle oh yeah round thing that goes up have a little tower up there have a little yeah what is that called it looks like a rook and in uh yeah yes you put a little perplexity on it though round part of castle tower

1:49:51yeah like that's what i'm talking about a drum tower drum towers yeah i'd love to have something like that oh that would be nice little castle walls so you have to go through a door but inside is a little courtyard and you can have so you're protected but you could still have a little village inside, get a bunch of my friends to come live with their families. God, it'd be fun. Yeah. I wouldn't mind being part of a commune or something one day. Yeah. Or group living where you just live off the land and you're kind of. I'm into that too. People get so negative about it, but I'm into that. I don't think there's anything wrong with it.

1:50:22I think that'd be great. Yeah. You don't want to be like a cult, but close to it. Yeah. Well, I think they only get negative about it. It often gets pinned, I feel like on white people too. It's like, I don't think if white people, if they're not being racist, they can support other people like themselves. I don't think there's anything wrong with that. Yeah, I mean, and I just think it'd be fun to just have a little community where you're like, you know, you're all, you're like one person does this, one person does this, and then you trade. Yeah, like I'm the shoemaker or whatever. Yeah. Like, I'll make you something.

1:50:51Yeah, you're repairing your shoes and your boots, and one person's really good at cooking, and one person's good at farming, one person's good at, you know, I don't know, working on cars or raising a horse. Yeah, I'll do like the little methadone area if we need it. Yeah, and you might need it because people likely will come to the commune and need a little help, you know? Oh, yeah, you got to have that area too. Like, oh, I'll meet you over there in the methadone teepee. Yeah, yeah, and eventually that's the most popular teepee in the place. Now the shoes aren't getting repaired. That's the thing you start to worry about is how does this all break down?

1:51:29I'm trying to think I just bought Dustin I bought Dustin Poirier's gloves from his last fight from his UFC fight oh yeah yeah I wanted the last one so bad but somebody beat me on eBay or whatever but I would buy James J Braddock something like a memorabilia of his remember him from Cinderella Man oh yeah I would buy some memorabilia of his oh yeah the bulldog of Bergen baby that's who I would buy some of his I mean that's just something like a specific thing I would get oh yeah oh yeah when i was just thinking in reference like in the same world of a house like he's bought so i was just like that's why i said castle or but yeah i mean i would love just a lot of land i think it just because you can just do so much i got 10 acres that i've been doing all these things i've built a little swales and put fruit trees and all these different things on it i've been trying to cultivate it i'm into ponds now i want to build a i want to build a pond at the top that kind of pumps water from the creek and comes down and runs all throughout.

1:52:28Wow. And do you have access to a creek? Yeah. Wow. I want to build a lot of water channels. Do they allow how much water you can access and stuff? I've not looked into it because I don't live out there in McMinnville. So I don't know how much I can do right now, but I would, I don't want to steal it. I just want to borrow it and then channel it back to the creek. I like that. Yeah. I love that. or borrow it, put a flavored syrup in it, channel it back. Perfect. Yeah. Imagine somebody's upstream like, oh, this is nice water downstream. Like, motherfucker, that's Sprite. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, you know, and you're like, you're just out.

1:53:05You think, oh, I'll get a nice drink from the creek. Yeah. Yeah. Mountain Dew. That's it. They think you're making a pun because it's coming from a mountain, and you're like, no, this really is Mountain Dew. Yeah, dude. Now, if somebody's just peeing in the river and you're downstream of that, That's mountain don't. That's right. That is right. That's damn mountain don't, dude. Oh, this part. Reif noted that he and Castee plan to open the house for overnight stays and museum tours so you yourself can experience and learn all the haunted history surrounding this amazing place. I think that's cool, man.

1:53:38Matt's a creative guy. And, oh, yeah, Elton Castee. He's a paranormal guy. Hell, yeah. Fuck him. Wow. Fuck all them ghosts, dude. or whatever, dude. Don't touch them. I'm in the don't touch them camp, but everybody's got to do their own thing. Well, look, I don't really want to walk with Satan. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. I'm not into it, but somebody's got to be. Yeah, to each their own. Yeah, I'm glad it's not me, but good luck to those guys. Yeah. That's what I say. Hot dog spill shuts down highway in Pennsylvania. Commuter's worst nightmare. Little hot dog pun in there. Yep, W-U-R-S-T. Oh, my God.

1:54:24Look at all those Franks on that freeway. It's like a WNBA game out here.

1:54:33Dude, that's the kind of stuff we need. Yeah, exactly. Get the news pumped up. Dude, here's what they do. Now I have a great idea. In the middle, in the middle of the court at halftime, you can hum a dildo, right? Yeah. Or H a D, whatever they want to call them. You can chuck a dildo out there. If it lands in that middle area, the middle circle where they do the tip ball in the middle of the court, if it lands in there, you get a free frank. Free hot dog. Yeah, I love that. That's a good idea. You know, they could call it, you know, ring a wiener for a wiener or something like that. Wiener, wiener, hot dog diener.

1:55:12Yeah. Yeah. You get a hot dog sponsor. You get some dildo sponsors in there. You get it all working out. Yeah. Everybody's making a little extra money out here. I like it. And you're feeding the fans, man. Yeah. You telling me a lot of these ladies don't want that hot Frank? Yeah. They do. Well, look at these guys with the shovels, though. Imagine your day of shoveling hot dogs. Yeah. Lucky, dude. Let me get a gander at these guys. All right. Shrewsbury, PA, a truckload of hot dogs spilled across a Pennsylvania interstate Friday after a crash that briefly clogged the highway in both directions.

1:55:52Crews were stuck with a job they did not relish. More play on words. Rolling up the scattered tube stakes for disposal. Heavily traveled artery. Oh, another one. Yeah. Once those leave the truck and hit the road, that's all garbage and it's still pretty warm. Okay. So one guy was upset that they couldn't use them. A front end loader was used to scoop, which also I'm going to say is what my dad referred to my stepmom as once. So I'm not saying she got around, but a front end loader was used to scoop up the hot dogs and drop them into a dump truck. I can tell you personally, hot dogs are very slippery.

1:56:30The fire chief said, I did not know that. Okay. You tell me the fire chiefs never had a hot dog. Come on, dude. Dude, that's their main source of sustenance. if you've ever been to any firehouse there is always a um a crock pot going with a couple hot yeah i think he was just like if this if you're quoting me i want you to know i've never touched a wiener before yeah oh yeah a lot of those guys will keep it straight no matter whatever they got to do to get it four people required medical attention dowerman said for injuries that police said were not life-threatening. Okay. What happened to them?

1:57:13God. Hopefully this ends up becoming a 30 for 30. You know, you got to know. Tie it into the WNBA. Meanwhile. Yeah. Oh, Dusty Slay, man. Thanks for hanging out, dude. Yeah, thanks for having me. This is great. I appreciate it. So much fun. Yeah. congrats on the um on wet heat it's out there now people can go watch it um yeah it's on netflix it's streaming it's hot it's a good special it's not a time waster no it's not people love it and they get to know you too i think you have your own kind of pentameter your own sort of uh style i mean most comedians do but i think you really feel it here you know thank you um i modeled this hat after this one i'm wearing right here see this is a kodiak wintergreen so i can't really wear this hat but that one on my head there modeled after this one oh they wouldn't let you wear that one well i think that we were just worried about it yeah i don't keep it safe and is this a hat that is this your merch yeah oh that's beautiful what does it say on it it says all right all right you know because i say all right and then my name I love it yeah you'll have to order me one of those yeah go ahead and order me one of those hats so I can have one to wear sometime yeah it's a limited edition that hat because the stripes cost more to put on oh yeah so it's a limited edition well let's get it we'll take one I like it alright thank you thank you for my coffee mug to Miss Slay and yeah thanks for all the comedy dude yeah well I appreciate you This is great.

1:58:55Your podcast is great. I think you're the best podcaster. You're the funniest guy on podcasts that exist. And this is great. I'm happy to be here. Oh, that's nice of you, dude. I appreciate it. I thought you really carried the load today, but I thought it was super easy for us to chat and hang out, which I thought was really nice. Didn't feel like we were lifting any heavy lifts, you know? No, I felt great. I had a good time here. I mean, I've watched you on podcasts for a long time, and I still think that there's There's a video of you that circulates through my TikTok sometimes of you doing comedy in a retirement home and you're doing jokes about your dad.

1:59:31And it is in front of these really old people. It's the funniest stand up. It's so good. Well, thanks, bro. Thanks for the compliments. When your land, whenever that land, when those fruit trees are ready, shit could get weird in the world. So you and I might be out there making TikToks together and selling fruit. I love it. And if that's what happens, then I'll be happy to work right there side by side with you. And we got to get to Charleston and do a show, dude. We should. I mean, yeah. I mean, it's great. Charleston's great. I mean, it's changing all the time. It's growing, but it's still great.

2:00:04We should put it together. We should put it together. Yeah. We can do that for later this year or next year. Dusty Slay, thanks so much, dude. Are you touring somewhere this week or right now? You're just letting the special rock? I am touring. Dustyslay.com's got all my dates, but I'm starting in Huntsville. alabama and then i'm all well i'm doing the comedy store on the fifth i don't know when this comes out but i'm i'm in huntsville alabama on the weekend atlanta and then i just it just starts from there okay great dude yeah a lot of places you can see them dusty slay.com uh for his tour dates and uh yeah man thanks for the time brother thank you now i'm just floating on the breeze and i feel i'm falling like these leaves i must be Cornerstone Oh, but when I reach that ground I'll share this peace of mind I found I can feel it In my bones But it's gonna take you