#604 - Jim Jefferies

23:34You know what I mean? But a fighter pilot who was my nephew, my blood was fucking doing that. Yeah. And I looked up to him. That's cool. Sorry. No, it's admirable.

23:49Well, I'll look up to him too. Thank you. You know? Thank you. No, I like getting to think it's important. Yeah, thank you. It's important to think about people that mean something to you. And I believe that people can feel you thinking about them. I think that it's a real thing. I think it's important that we think about people like that, man. He fucking was a fucking boss. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you know what? I take some solace in that he was doing the job that he always wanted to do since he was a little kid. Yeah, he lived his dream. They reckon the last time they saw him, he put his machine gun over his shoulder, his automatic shoulder, and he jumped in the helicopter and he gave a thumbs up and a smile.

24:28Yeah. And he was over the moon because the other person dropped out and Max was the first person with his hand up. Yeah. And so, you know, it wasn't a senseless death. It wasn't like a car accident, which I'm not going – people have tragedies all their life. At least it wasn't fentanyl. At least it was something off being a fucking hero, bro. Yeah. Yeah, dude. It is cool. Yeah, yeah. You know? That is exciting. Yeah. Yeah, shout out Max, dude. Fucking he's still out there in the air probably fucking – Dude, well, look, that's another reason we shouldn't be tariffing these people. These guys are freaking putting their lives on the line.

25:05They've done that for America before. Yeah, well, we always show up for the wars. You pop by. Yeah, yeah. You know what? You kind of need us. I know you're saying, oh, who cares? A country of 23 million and another country of 3.5 million in New Zealand. So let's, you know, 26, 27 million people. We're in a country of 330 million, right? What do you care about that? Well, strategically, you kind of need us. We have nuclear submarines that are involved with the Americans sitting up at the top of our country because if China fucking goes, bro. You're going to have to be there first. You need us. Fuck all, yeah.

25:47You need us. Dude, that's going to be crazy. I would watch that. If the Chinese got to fight Australia, I would fucking tune in for that. Okay, so there we go. Yeah, boy, you're big dogs, huh? Oh, there's the black one at the top. You can tell that. Currently under construction. I don't know how to make it. I assume it's like IKEA or Lego or something like that. You'd be off to go. Hopefully it's not the same bloke who made the fucking helmets. That's a good point. But, yeah, we're good to go. That's awesome. Yeah, I think it's – I don't know what they're doing. I don't know what some of the strategies are.

26:22And you start to realize that, man, probably throughout time, And people have just been like so distant from the people who are running the show. You know, you all end up just being in the mud while they're the ones up there pouring the water into the dirt. Well, you know, we had our own Pearl Harbor. Up in Darwin, they bombed it. The movie Australia. No, Gallipoli was when we went and fought the Turks. The Turks. I shouldn't say the Turks. What am I fucking? It's fine. Yeah, I guess the Turks. The young Turks, Anna Kasparian? But we fought the Turkish and you would have seen the Mel Gibson movie.

26:53But we had an invasion on Australian land. In Darwin, they bombed it. Similar time to what happened with Pearl Harbor, they went after us as well. The Jays there, Japanese? Yeah, and it hasn't really – it's in the movie Australia with Hugh Jackman and Nicole Kidman. That's what it's about, but I don't know if you've seen that film. But we had our own thing going on as well. Fuck yeah. More than 230 people were killed, civilians, military people, with hundreds more wounded, 68 air raids. Yeah, it was pretty amazing. And what happened after the attack happened? Well, we just carried on with World War II, didn't we?

27:34Yes, we did. We beat the fucking Germans, man. That's what happened. They had a few wins. We won the war, man. That was it. We won the war. That was it. It's funny. I'm looking at me special at the moment. I wanted to call my special Hitler, right? I've got three Hitler jokes in it. That's the only reason I wanted to call Hitler. I'm not a fan of Hitler. I'm not pro-Hitler. I've just got three. And I was thinking to myself, because everything's about algorithm, right? How's the algorithm? Who gets searched more than Hitler? I type his name into Netflix all the time if I'm bored and I want to watch a documentary.

28:09I don't put like a heart emoji next to it. I just, you know, and I thought that could get a few clicks if I call the thing Hitler. Anyway, suffice to say, I had some pushback from Netflix. Netflix was like, it won't be an aggressive font. It'll be a soft font. Like Ariel or something. Yeah. So I wanted to go to Hitler. In the end, I landed on two-limb policy, which I'm very happy with in the name. But I just got back all the rankings of where it is in the top 10. I don't know if it's because I do the Hitler jokes, but out of all of Europe, I'm about to tour Europe. right now, about to a full year or two.

28:48And I sell really well in Germany, but for some reason, Germany and Austria haven't gotten in the top 10. I don't know if there's some shit everywhere around. Poland, I'm crushing. But Hitler's their guy. Yeah, yeah, but they're not proud of it. No, some of them are. They're not proud. Two-limb policy right there. There we are, two-limb policy. Now, the two-limb policy stands for after I did my sick. I know you meet with the veterans after your show, right? I've heard about this. I do. I meet with disabled people. You meet with disabled folks after your show? Yeah, yeah. So after my shows, I take photographs with disabled people.

29:22But people start – I did a sitcom many years ago that had disabled actors, and then I sort of became a thing. And I used to actually just sort of go get the security to go and sort of whisper to the wheelchair seats and go, here's a thing, come back afterwards. Come on around, yeah. But people started finding out about that. And people would write to me and go, hey, I'm coming to see you perform this week, and I'm bringing my uncle. He's disabled. can we come backstage? And you can't write back how disabled. You know what I mean? And you can't ask for a photo. You just got to go, because I can't have fucking dyslexics showing up, right?

29:56There needs to be, there needs to be. So as I say in the special, I always handle the classics, deaf, deaf, blind wheelchair. And also you can't just be like slightly deaf. You've got to have a dog or a cane. You've got to be a beast master. And if you're deaf, you've got to have the voice, right? There's no better way to say it. Yeah, I don't like those pseudo-blind people, like I'm colorblind or whatever. I'm 80 % blind or whatever. Like I'm colorblind, but I still say the N-word. I'm like, what are you doing? You've got to choose a path. So if you aren't one of the classics, I have a two-limb policy.

30:29So you can't just be like a fat fuck who lost your foot to diabetes. You know what I mean? That doesn't get you backstage because you had too much candy. That's crazy that people are faking that kind of shit. No, no one's faking it, but I just decided what was my parameters. Got it. No one was faking. I never had anyone coming back. I think I was letting the autistic back, and some of them were over-autisming. Oh, yeah, yeah. You know what I mean? And I was like, I thought, I don't think this is your real self. I think you're playing this up for the cameras a little bit. But I do count autism as one limb.

31:01Okay. So if you have a flamidamide arm and autism, you're beautiful. You're in. Lazy eye autism. Here we go. What about missing an ear? Yeah, oh yeah, I'd do missing an ear all day. Like Mark Chopper Reed. Oh, he has one. He had one. You know that moment when you've left your favorite sunglasses at the beach or you gave them to a child or something and he's gone. You already left them on the top of the car. You left them on a gas station, a gas pump three states away. You know it. God, that's how I feel. But you don't have to fear anymore because Shady Ray's is here and they're ready to help. Shady Ray's sunglasses changed the game for me.

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34:12I haven't. This is my gift to you. Go see the movie. That's Eric Banner's first dramatic role, right? Before that, Eric Banner, you know the actor Eric Banner? Yeah. Eric Banner was a stand-up comedian. Wow. You'd seen him perform before? Yeah, yeah. He was famous in Australia. Fuck yeah. He was doing, he did characters. He used to do impersonations and all that type of stuff. He even had a show called The Eric Banner Show where he played. Now, that's the real Chopper Reed, right? So the one up in the top corner there, the one next to him is the real guy. Chopper. Now, if you look at him, he doesn't have ears.

34:44Oh, yeah. Right. He's got some kind of drawn on. Right. So what happened was he killed a whole lot of people. Then he went in prison. And then there was a mark on him where they were like, I'm just saying an arbitrary number,$50 ,000 to kill Mark Reed. Yeah. Right? And so he said, I need to be moved out of the cell block. I can't be in this cell block. Everyone's trying to kill me. They're trying to kill me. They're killing me. And the governor's like, I can't help you, Mark. Seats taken. Yeah. Oh. Why did he take his ears off so he didn't want to hear about it? Because he has to go into the hospital in the infirmary or they'll move him or something like that for his own safety.

35:16He got his ears cut off. He got another bloke to do it with a razor. and fucking peel it off. It's a banger of a movie. Now, when you see the movie, right? So the movie is Eric Banner is unbelievable. It's what made Eric Banner a star. He was just a stand-up comic in Australia who'd been in a little movie called The Castle, which is a great comedy. That's another podcast. And then Eric Banner becomes Chopper and does this thing, and he gains tons of weight. It's really fat for it and all that type of stuff. And then his next movie, I believe, is The Hulk or Black Hawk Down, and then he's in fucking Troy with, you know what I mean?

35:52Like it's kind of, yeah, so Chopper, Blackhawk Down, another Australian movie. Then he's the fucking Hulk. And then he's with bloody Brad Pitt. Oh, with the good-looking people. Yeah. When they put you with the good-looking people, you're doing good. Yeah, Munich. That's Steven Spielberg, Munich. Like it went from zero to 100 very quick. Wow. You know, like, and he was, as I said, just a stand-up comedian. And he still lives in Australia. He still lives in Australia. Fuck yeah. Still lives in Australia and I don't think he does stand up anymore. I've spoken to him online a couple of times, one Australian to another type of thing.

36:27I think he one time saw one of my specials and was like, I enjoyed it. That's the only chat. So cool though. But this is the weird thing. There's like people you like, you get to speak to fucking Donald Trump and Bernie Sanders. You get to meet both sides of the whole world. Plus you get to interview whoever the fuck. Like, when you get to a certain level of fame, there's people you can just sort of reach out to and go, hey, and then just see if something comes back. Like, so at the moment I'm wearing my favorite entertainer in the world, and I wore this T-shirt because you're the only interview I've ever found of Chris Lilley.

37:03Dude, well, he, first of all, yeah, I remember asking you last time that we talked if you had met him, and you hadn't yet. No, still haven't. I only spoken to him online. I've never heard his voice. he once came to one of my shows and he wrote oh it's just a show really funny good stuff or whatever but he didn't come backstage oh he's kind of like he's a little bit of like a missing person kind of he's an introvert but he's a genius oh he's magical he's a genius his TV shows it was like I wanted I started showing his shows to my son when he was 11 he's a magic baby and then just to see what he if he went this is brilliant I knew that my son actually knew comedy and was going to be a good person.

37:45He knew what comedy was. And then, or if he went, oh, I don't really get it. This is boring or whatever. What's a guy? Because it's one guy playing all the different characters. Oh, And he got canceled for the wrong reasons. Summer Heights High. Yeah, it was one of the best shows ever, first of all. Summer Heights High is unbelievable. Jermaine Private School. Now he's got a podcast of Mr. G, who's my favorite character. Oh, yeah. Bad habit for drugs. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She's a naughty girl with a bad habit. Bad habit for drugs. Ecstasy. Ecstasy. Yeah, he's the fucking – he is – I'm going to – for Australia, right?

38:25Yeah. I'm going to say he's the greatest Australian entertainer we've ever had. I'm including Hugh Jackman, Russell Crowe. I'm including fucking ACDC, man. Right? Right? And these are – all those people I love. Oh, yeah. I'm very proud to say from Australia. Volkanovsky also. He's Volkanovsky. Alexander Volkanovsky. Is he New Zealand? He's Australian. Australian. I haven't lived there for 20 years. Am I about to be in trouble? He's a UFC guy. No. Oh, no, I don't follow the UFC. Oh, you don't. That's good then. No, no, no. He's a class actor. I don't. No, no. Athletes. Athletes is a different thing.

38:58Okay, athletes excluded. I'm talking about entertainment. No, we've had some great athletes, man. Do you know that the - Ben Simmons was kind of mid. Yeah, but three-time All-Star. Facts. Three-time All-Star. Never mind. Sorry about that. All right, all right. So Luke Longley played in the greatest team of all time, was the first Australian in the NBA. When the Dream Team went to play fucking the rest of the world in Barcelona, there was only six players, international players, that were in the NBA. Six. And now there was like 60 or 70 in this last one. The Australians actually had like a proper team.

39:33But Luke Longley was just a big tall cunt from fucking Fremantle, Perth, brother. Yeah. Right? And then he's playing with Michael Jordan, and he was the only cunt out there with an accent that wasn't American or Eastern European. Yeah. Right? Like, that was pretty – now you've got, like, Josh Giddey and you've got Andrew Bogart played before. You've got Daniel Dyson just got the block record, the steel record. Yeah, Zorvidas Zobonis. What's that guy's name? That big guy, Bogondar. Don Boyanovich, but I think he's saying Australians. Oh, Australians. They were all Australians. Oh, I see what you're saying.

40:07Our Olympic team is all NBA players. Yeah. Class. I don't understand why Britain hasn't gotten into basketball. Yeah. Okay. How do I say this? They've got tall – they've got black people. They've got loads of them, right? Yeah. They've got – it's a place that it rains every fucking day. Yeah. It rains every day and you – in a confined space and you haven't picked up basketball. They're just trying to be fucking difficult. Yeah, that's what they're trying to be. They're too fucking, like, oh, we don't know. Maybe they don't want a bunch of black guys just hanging out in the park or something. I don't know what they're.

40:45We don't need the park. Indoor basketball courts. Just get it made. But Travis Bazzana, the number one major league pick last year in the draft is from Hornsby. Let's go. Born in the same hospital as me, bro. Fuck yeah. And this guy, this guy, fucking, this is just a coincidence. Me and Chris Lilley, I think the same age, give or take a year. We're the same age. He went to the private school, I believe, up the road from me, and I went to the public school up the road from me. But we grew up in the same bit of the northern suburbs of Sydney. Do you remember seeing him as a kid? No, I've never met him.

41:18But it's just there's every chance that me and him were at the same party or something like that. Every fucking chance as kids that we were at the same party. But it's weird when you get that where you go, oh, wow, he grew up near me. Yeah.

41:35I can't champion Chris Lilly enough, man. Oh, dude. I saw him in Byron Bay, right? Yeah. Right outside of Sydney. Byron Bay. Oh, no, no. I saw him in Bondi Beach. Bondi Beach is in Sydney, but it's the most famous beach in Australia. Oh, beautiful over there. Even the fucking men's is good looking. were you doing the voice then was that i don't know what i was doing i just didn't want to seem like a gay guy even the men's is good looking even yeah it's all right but i remember he came we met up for lunch and i had some other people that i was like other other comedians and stuff and i was like well i you know he's kind of keeps to himself so i don't know if i want to have a bunch of people here when he shows up so you know once you guys take take a walk or whatever so i walked outside with them and then when i came back in he was sitting just like facing the water like out on this balcony.

42:27And then I just went and sat by him and we just sat and talked. He had on like this hat. I'll include some photos from it and stuff, but it was just awesome. Just like, yeah, it's almost like meeting with like a mythical creature kind of in a way. He's so special. Yeah, he's as gifted a human being that he's ever been. To be able to do all that. The bravest part is just to be able to take on all those characters at once, I think. And then just put yourself out there that much because you're not saying that, hey, my character's going to be good. You're saying five of my characters are going to be good.

42:57Your brain leaves you and you believe that he's a 16-year-old girl. Yeah. Just after a little while, you go – Now, it's one thing for him to be a gay high school drama teacher, right? That's just a wig. He's still a guy. But then when you watch Jermay and you're like – And also this whole thing that it's like, oh, he did blackface. Oh, he did this. He did that. Right? Look at him. And he's like a little wallah. But then to do Jonah from Tonga and there's real genuine moments of heart. There's times you can cry watching Jonah that you feel for him so much and that you understand why he's a little shit.

43:40It's not just a one-dimensional, this kid's a shit-stirring troublemaker. And I think that's what people ask. They say, oh, he's taking the piss out of Tongans. And it's like, yeah, I guess he is. But it's so much more than that. Even Tongans fucking loved it. Real Tongans loved it. The only people that don't like shit are people that don't own it who want to write articles about it. My son went out for Halloween this year as Jonah from Tonga. Didn't do anything with the skin, just the shirt and the tie. Dude, I say go a nice polish. Don't do anything heavy. You know what I'm saying? Don't do anything super close to the equator.

44:10But I would go with like, you know, yeah, some good bronzer, I think. Well, I don't think he was going to put that much effort in. I think laziness stopped him from being canceled. He's like, stop looking at my dick, mom. Yeah, yeah. Oh, no. Oh, no, you don't do that. What are you doing that for? Stop looking at my dick, miss. I'll miss. I'll miss. Oh, the best. And then when they start break dancing and then that other kid comes in and is a better break dancer. I would argue that Chris Lilly is a better break dancer than Ray Gunn, the Australian lady who entered the Olympics. Fuck yeah. And she put out a bet.

44:44Did you know about the bet she put out? She goes, oh, you think you're a better dancer than me? And she cracks her knuckles and goes, how about, I think it was like five grand or something. You can find the clip where Ray Gunn puts it. There she is, old Ray Gunn. She's dressed like she's from the local Bolo, which is Lawn Bowls, and everyone else is wearing street crates. Then she does the kangaroo. But if you can find the clip of where she challenges people, Ray Gunn challenges people. And wasn't there like a ledge, like a big like – That's it there. That's it there. $10 ,000 prize. She put out$10 ,000 prize if you can dance better than Ray Gunn.

45:21surely someone's, I can't dance better than Reagan. Yeah, who won that shit? But she was a middle-class woman, from a middle-class white woman who had studied hip-hop at university and had a degree in it. And then like Australia was just like, oh, the girl's got a degree. It must be the one, you know. I don't think our Olympic panel, right, are savvy with the hip-hop world and the dancing, right? It's not to say there aren't kids who are doing dancing in the street and stuff in Australia that can't do it. We're a very multicultural country. Without a doubt, there are people who can fucking breakdance in Australia.

46:00I've seen them do it. Class, yeah. But the people who actually decided, there's a lovely young girl, Rachel Gunn, we're going to call her Ray Gunn, bit of fun. Because I was in Bondi when the Olympics were on and my phone lit up, just lit up with all these people going, going, oh, you've got to watch it. Are you watching the TV? And it was every American comic who knew me was just like. Kind of relate to you. No, no, they were trying to take the piss like, oh, your people are on the TV right now. Because that's the thing about, you know, being a white Australian, we're not inherently cool, you know what I mean?

46:40And so then when Ray Gunn comes, that doesn't fucking help our cause. Yeah, that was bad. It's like watching 9-11 it was. Yeah. For a Muslim. You know when a Muslim watches 9-11 and they think, oh, this will make my life harder? Yeah. That's what that was. Ray Gunn was the Australian 9-11 kind of. Australian 9-11. Oh, Christ. God. But the ball's on her just to walk out of the Olympics and have a go. It was the only athlete that Snoop Dogg who – you remember how Snoop Dogg was just at the Olympics just like wearing the equestrian outfit? Well, so was Leslie Jones. Didn't they just have her – like sometimes they started hiring more celebrities to just be there.

47:15Yeah, just to be there and just show up at events. I pitched a show to Australian TV that said, because the Olympics are coming out, and I don't know if this show will ever go ahead, but I've pitched it to Australian telly. I said, how about you get me interviewing people, the athletes, the Australian athletes. I'm already here. You don't have to bring anyone out. I'll do like a little comedy show that's like after the proper show. After you watch all the highlights, we can do like a little comedy tonight show where we just do the Olympics and make it a two-run thing. So make it 10 episodes out the door.

47:46fucking done. Hopefully I can do it, brother. I reckon that would be a bit of fun. That'd be sick. The Olympics, are they going to be in Australia? No, here. Oh, in the US? LA. Oh, fuck. Here, here. Oh, shit. You don't know that the next Olympics are here? Nuh-uh. Oh, the traffic's going to get worse. Oh, it's going to be bad. Oh, it's going to be bad. You'll probably, I wonder if they'll have one of those. I mean. And you've got the World Cup. Oh, yeah. That's great. Everything's going on. Do you know the Olympics are the reason you have palm trees? Uh-uh. I used to do a podcast called, I don't know about that, right, where I used to learn about a new thing.

48:18And one of the things was the Olympics. And I was learning. I do a podcast at this moment called At This Moment with Amos Gill. You're friends with Amos? You know Amos? He's an Australian comic, very good comic. Me and him do a podcast at this moment, so follow my podcast. But Palm Trees. There he is, Amos, yeah. There was no palm trees in LA. They're not indigenous to LA. And then when you had your first Olympics, and I don't know what year, they planted all those ones along Beverly Hills just to spruce the place up a bit because visitors were coming. How about we plant some palm trees? They grow by themselves.

48:52They take very little fucking work, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, right? Yeah, see, I'm not lying. The internet's back. I like how you've got a guy who's always checking if I'm full of shit. Every time he's, oh, no, no, he said it, right? And so they planted$25 ,000 to$40 ,000. and that was 1932, right? And at each game since then, when you've had the Olympics since then, you've planted more palm trees. So the reason that LA looks like LA, like what it's synonymous with, if you were to do a silhouette of LA. Palms right there. Palm trees. It's kind of the only thing in the silhouette really. Yeah, a couple of buildings, undescriptive buildings.

49:31Yeah. Palm trees. Dodger Stadium. Yeah. Out the door. Beverly Hilton. Yeah. Yeah, the Beverly Hills Hotel. I think there's palm trees in their emblem probably. There's palm trees everywhere. That one there, the wallpaper's all palm trees. Yeah, even if you see people's videos or movies, every time you see the palm trees, you see it. It might be Beverly. That's a lovely hotel. Beverly Hilton. That is a nice place, man. It is nice over there. Yeah, I didn't know that at all, man. I love the fact that Australia has so many amazing people, though, man. That's just one thing that I loved about it. Just fucking me.

50:04And it's peaceful, man. It's safe, dude. That was one thing I realized. You're in Australia. It is safe. It's safe. It is safe. You're like, oh, this is nice. But, you know, look, I don't want your audience turning on me. I'm the gun control guy. You know what I mean? And I understand. I've lived in America long enough. Yeah, Australia is a very safe place, but not without. You know what they're having at the moment? They're having a, you know how, like, they're turning your guns? They're having machete bins. Nuh-uh. In Australia, machete bins. This is a brand new thing. People having issues with the Shetties?

50:38Disposable bins. Let me see it right here. An Australian state has asked citizens to surrender machetes at disposal bins ahead of a statewide ban on the weapons aimed at combating knife crime. Australia's state of Victoria on Thursday announced that more than 40 machete disposal bins will be available at police stations across the state to allow citizens to safely get rid of the weapons without a penalty before September 1st ban. Wow. They reckon people are just throwing food and stuff in there, though. Oh, yeah. Just recyclables? Yeah, just throw in an arm just from your last murder. And you go, I'll throw the machete in as well.

51:14Look at this fine right here. Those who did not surrender their machetes during the amnesty period may face imprisonment of up to two years or a fine of more than 47 ,000 Australian. Wow. 37 ,000 American. Yeah, look, there is a little bit more nanny state in Australia. We do have – there's more speed cameras. You notice it when you go back. Yeah, it's a little strict. They do a thing in Australia that I find weird around long weekends. So Easter, for example, yeah, long weekend. They will have the death toll on the TV. Oh, really? Yeah, where they talk about how many car accidents and how many people have died during this long weekend from drink driving or from speeding or whatever.

51:59and they'll go by all the states, five states. See who has the most? Yeah. See who's bloody Western Australia is doing terrible this year with five deaths on the death toll. We also have four deaths in Queensland. They're not doing well. Oh, Victoria, one death. Well done. Boo. Somebody yells boo from behind a camera. But imagine doing that in America. Imagine like a Labor Day weekend. we're going to count up all the deaths that are happening on the highways and then we're going to report it and we're going to shame everyone. Also, long weekend they do double demerits. Oh, no, for what? If you get in trouble?

52:36Yeah, so let's say you start with 12 points, you lose one point for a seatbelt, three points for speeding, you know, things like that. Really speeding, you lose six points. I think America goes the other way upwards or whatever, right? You gain points. On long weekends, holiday weekends, it's double. Wow. So seatbelt two, speeding six, man. And if you get 12, what's out? You're out? You're out. Well, Australia has a bit of a double or nothing policy, which is like a thing we do because people go, oh, but I need my car for work. Yeah. What if I can't do it for work? The Australian government goes like this.

53:09We'll give you one point, right? And you have to have that point for a year. And so you can either lose your license for three months or you can have one point for a year. And if you lose it, then you lose your license for a year. so you can't fucking roll through a stop sign. You know what I mean? I like that. But you put things on the Australian citizen, I think they take things seriously. A lot of Americans, there's a lot of Americans that take things seriously, but there's a lot of other fucking just fucktards who don't give a shit, you know? Oh, we have fucktards who don't give a shit. We're not short on them.

53:44You know, the world's got them. Oh, yeah. Yeah, maybe you're right. Maybe I'm being a little bit hard on Americans today. No, America, man, I always have to stipulate this, man. Fucking what a wonderful place. man yeah what a what opportunities and what things you can do just the basic fact that you have 330 million in such a small place right you know when you're flying around doing gigs in australia you didn't get any fucking connecting flights did you you just went to those cities yeah they all went because we've got five major fucking cities yeah right and then you drove out to the more rural places or whatever but like in america okay i gotta stop in charlotte because it's a hub and And I'm always complaining about it, but then I think to myself, how wonderful that we can – I've been here for 15 or 16 years and there's still towns I haven't played.

54:32There's still cities I still have to go to. I've been to most of them over and over again. Yeah. But there's so much space. And there's also – you can be a popular comedian in the Midwest and that can be your territory where, you know, you have your fan base and you don't have to travel too far. Or you can be someone who's just really popular in San Francisco or whatever. You know what I mean? Like it's that diverse. And people shit on America a lot because of your low rate of people who have passports, right? That's a stat they always say in Australia and Britain is like, you know, like 40 % of Americans don't even have a passport, right?

55:10And I used to think, oh, that is a – I don't know the exact stat. Let's take a look at it right here. As of late 2024, approximately 51 % of Americans have a valid passport. This reflects an increase from 46 % in 2023 and 30 % in 2008. Right. Compare that to other states. Compare that to Australia or England. Right. So we're saying 49 % of you don't have passports. Right. Right. That is high. That's a lot. That is high. Like you're an international traveler. You think nothing of having a passport. Of course you should have a passport, right? Oh, you guys is 55%. 55%, 77 % at the UK. Because you're going to holiday in France.

55:51It's a fucking two-hour train ride. Of course, you're going to do that. You need to have that. You go for lunch. That surprises me. Australia is only at 55%. We're only a little bit higher. Well, we've been catching up for some reason. I mean, we're 30 % in 2008. I wonder what's caused us. Right, so 30 % is bad. Yeah. 30%, but I never understood it until I moved to America. And I'm like, well, you can do everything here. You literally have every weather condition that you want to enjoy. You want to go whitewater rafting. You want to go to a winter wonderland and fucking go into a resort up there.

56:25You want to go tropical. I can take you down here. Yeah, volcano. You want to see big city things. You want to go to Hawaii. Storm, quicksand. Yeah, yeah. You've got every environment on earth is in the ecosystem of America. Yeah. Plus, you got fucking Disneyland. Right. So you got Epcot center that has fake environment. Exactly. You can see the whole world there. You don't have to go anywhere. Just wander around there. Watch. It's a small world after all. That's how you can tell what all the different children look like. Yeah. You know, so, so, so I get it because you don't really have to go anywhere.

57:05You kind of have everything that you need, but there is something beautiful about going. One thing that I remember when I first started traveling was the first people you see everywhere. and this is one thing I always admired are Australians, dude. They're fucking balls to the wall. They wake up. They go. They don't sleep. They're nocturnal. They're day-turnal. They're fucking lunch-turnal. And it's even weird. You'll find us in places like Whistler, right? You'll be up in Whistler and, G'day, mate. I'm your ski instructor for the day. Like, can't we get a fucking Canadian on this? You brought me a bloke from the desert.

57:35You know what I mean? Even black Australians, you'll hear them, you know? Like, G'day, mate. And it's like a black guy. and you're like, wow, that's crazy. When I was young, you didn't – okay, so when I was young, I grew up in a school that had a lot of like Asian kids in it. I think it was 50%, 60 % Asian and stuff like that. Oh, wow. And there wasn't many black people in Australia then. We had the white Australia policy. I'm going to – right up until I want to say the 1950s, it might have been later, right? And where there was whites only in Australia? It was – you can immigrate to Australia, but it was for white people.

58:08And so the most dark as you got were Italians and Greeks. And their derogatory term for them was wog, and that was the most foreign people. But that's what shows how bigotry can go out the window because now they're the most assimilated people in Australia, Italians and Greeks. Melbourne has the second highest Greek population of any city in the world next to Athens, and that's including other Greek cities. Wow. Right? Melbourne's awesome. 1958. There you go. So they abolished the non-white immigrants. It was called the White Australia Policy, right? It wasn't – I'm not just making it like – They didn't beat around the bush really.

58:46They didn't have – yeah. So in 1958, they got rid of that. And now we have – obviously, we have a lot of black people and stuff like that. But when I left Australia – and I left Australia in 2001. And then when I came back just to – by about 2010, just on a holiday or seeing the family or whatever, to see all, so the Italians and Greeks were all westernised Australian by then with the accent. Then the Asians came in and then they, now you see Asian Australian cricket players and they've all got the fucking voice. You know, you ever seen like a Chinese fella who fucking talks like this? Right? And it's like, it just takes time.

59:28So they were the problem and then now they're like, and these fucking blokes come in and then so it just takes time and an accent to assimilate. That's what you need. Even now you see like a lot of like there's a lot more black country music fans and you see like a lot more like black kind of redneck or like hunting type of guys. You're like, oh, it just takes some time. Exactly. And it's kind of good because they can't use those things to separate people anymore anyway. It took Hootie to make the first push, right? Hootie, I don't know what Hootie's real name is, but Hootie. Darius. Darius, that's right.

1:00:01But his last name was Rucker, which kind of has a country tone to it. So, yeah, dude, shout out Darius Rucker. He does not get enough credit. Rosa Parks are country music, man. Oh. You think about, and he left a popular band to go, I want to do country music in Nashville, right? Because he can still be touring right now with the Blowfish, going, I only want to be with you. Yeah. Right? We love a little island. And still be doing just fine. God, man. He's, yeah, that guy's done a great job. With prices going up on just about everything, everything, dealing with money can be stressful. Trying to manage subscriptions, track spending, and cut costs can feel overwhelming.

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1:02:55As the largest online therapy provider in the world, BetterHelp can provide access to mental health professionals with a diverse variety of expertise. Talk it out with BetterHelp. Our listeners get 10 % off their first month at betterhelp.com slash T-H-E-O. That's better, H-E-L-P dot com slash Theo. But I always think that like when you say black Australians and stuff like that. So the sports that we're into, Australian rules football. Oh, yeah. AFL, man. Brisbane Lions, dude. AFL. Yeah, Fremantle, bro. When black people start playing that sport. It's a wrap. It's a wrap. And they're hiding it from them right now.

1:03:34It's a wrap. Because we've got like some Sudanese refugees that have started playing who are excelling. Really? It's a game about jumping really fucking like. Jumping and running. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's a wrap. Right. But I believe all sports. Eventually a rat. I think now, so when I was growing up in Australia, I wore a Michael Jordan jersey like every other boy in the 90s. That's all. Right? The best. The best. I never got to see him play one live game. There would be wide world of sports. We'd show little clips of what happened in American sports. We would get the Super Bowl would be shown on our TV.

1:04:12No baseball, no basketball. Like a stingray kills a boy or something as well. would be like one of the highlights for you guys on SportsCenter. But we had our rugby and we had our cricket and we had our AFL and all the – yeah, great sports. But now they've got an app called KO where you can watch all the NBA, all the baseball, all the Premier League for fucking$10 or$15, you know what I mean? And it's like it's cheaper to watch those sports in Australia now than it is now. I believe that, as I said, you had one NBA player back in the day, Luke Longley. Now we've got like maybe 15 Australian NBA players.

1:04:50We've got – now we've got – there's a guy in the Super Bowl, I think about four or five punters in the NFL. Oh, yeah, that class. Because they learned from AFL to kick so long. And now they've just got – at Australian universities, we're just training punters. We're just like, all right, this is our thing. Look at this punter right here. Let's get a gandal out of him. There's Michael Dixon right there for the Seahawks, current Australian punters. Lou Headley down there in New Orleans. Mitch Wischnowski. Shout out, Mitch Wischnowski. So we've got six current. Six current. And I believe there's a bloke who actually played.

1:05:26That's an off guy. He looks off. Yeah, yeah. And the thing is, because punters never have to learn to tackle. Look at this fucking lad right there. Every now and again. Lou Headley, dude. Order me a fucking Lou Headley jersey. That's him. Every now and again, there'll be a punt. He'll kick your fucking balls off your back. There'll be a punt and there'll be someone return, get past all the defense. You know, they do that full run back, the whole thing. Oh, yeah. And the Australian blokes always tackle them because they grow up playing rugby and all that. Yes. And so every time they're just like, oh, all there is left is the punter.

1:05:55Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Have you seen that? Right? Like that. It's always some Australian bloke going, yeah, I can fucking tackle. This is what we do. Yeah, I'm an adult male. I do this without a helmet, mate. Yeah. Lou Hadley, dude. He'll kick your freaking arms off your body. That guy, wow. Dude, that's class, bro. That's such a great call. It's like everybody should have that Australian punter. I think I love having more. I want more Mexican guys in the NBA, dude. And I mean real Mexican guys. Like 5 '4", one guy. Jaime, what's his name for the Heat? He's the only one that I can. Yeah. I've forgotten his bloody name.

1:06:34They're not renowned for being tall, the Mexicans. No, that's why they got the one at UCLA, Jaime Hacquez. Yeah, Hacquez. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, plays for the Heat. Yeah, plays for the Heat now. And he's class, but he's not an all-star. You know what I mean? I always think with like – also with sports, it just takes one person to open the door up for other kids to go, oh, yeah, maybe I can – you know, we have Australians in the Premier League and stuff like that. You know, for a very small country – I'll tell you what country kicks fucking ass for its size. Iceland. Really? Iceland's got 270 ,000 people.

1:07:12I might be out by 10 ,000 or something. And they made it to the Soccer World Cup. Oh, my God. I did not realize that. Statistically, they would only have maybe 20 ,000 eligible men of age. Yeah. With the right age and the right whatever. And they made it to the World Cup. And they fucking got through the first round. Class. They got to the round of 16. Unbelievable. Let's bring up that Iceland team. I didn't want to get a gander. I feel like it's like, I think Christian McCaffrey's from Iceland. Dude, I just went to Qatar not long ago. I know you're going to the Middle East coming up. I went to Qatar, and this is one thing that was interesting there was the soccer stadiums from when they held the World Cup are all still there because they don't really have that much regular use of them.

1:07:53So you have these huge stadiums sitting everywhere. Let's get a look at that team. That's amazing, brother. Yeah, yeah. They don't even have a McDonald's in Iceland. Well, that's probably why they're all doing good. everybody here's just all fucking geeked out. Their arteries aren't clogged up. Is that Jason Ellis on the bottom right there? Let me get a gander at that pic there. Oh, these lads are, dude, look how Icelandic that dude is, the third dude, that freaking Ice Indian. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah, I'm the Ice Indian. That guy's fucking ready, brother. Wow, I bet it would be cool to be Icelandic.

1:08:31Have you been there? No, I almost went to Reykjavik, but it was, They had a, it was gay pride weekend. We were going to go and I was like. There's nothing. Retrovick, Retrovick is it. Yeah. I just didn't want to be at there when it was just, everything was very kind of overly gay. I was there when there was no sun. Gay shit happening. There was no moon. There was no, there was no darkness. It was sunny 24 hours a day. Is it fun? They spanned the fuck out of me. They only get that for three months and the rest of it was not. But you worried about the gayness? You worried about. I just didn't want it to be every, you know, at the hotel.

1:09:03Every moment, it's so much gayness. I guess it's probably what gay people think of. Yeah, they have to walk into our hotels. That's true. And they're like, I can't be going here with all the fucking heteros. Oh, I bet they feel that way. They don't want to go to Sturgis, probably, some of them. I think that's the whole parade. It was just a few. Look, so you know in Iceland. I just didn't want guys. Like, I'm at breakfast, and some guys keep trying to buy me, like, those eggs with the little ham on it. That's a cock you're talking about. The eggs are at the base and then there's like a ham. You didn't want one of them bought for you.

1:09:42I just didn't want somebody sending over a cock. Not that they would, but if someone's dressed nice and people would. If you are to be gay, I reckon Iceland's the place to do it. Because you know they have an app on the phone. So the population's so small that they have to have an app on the phone. So if you meet a girl in a bar, you both put your names in the app or your license into the app or whatever, and it'll tell you how closely related you are because everyone's fucking related and thing, right? Then we got to get over there, dude. So you go over there. We have a shot. So like third cousin's all right, I guess.

1:10:17Second cousin, no good. Warning. First cousin, how good are you at keeping a secret? 40%, 70%. But that's for the heteros. If you're gay, who gives a fuck if you fuck your cousin? It's not going to – a baby's not going to be made is what I'm saying. That's what I'm saying. But you would still – Oh, no, you'd prefer not. Yeah. I don't want the gay people kicking off on me like I'm saying they're all fucking their siblings. If you can avoid it, if you can avoid it, I say do. Yeah, dude. But if it's unavoidable and it's cold and the sun hasn't been out for six fucking months, who am I to judge? And if you write not my cousin on the guy's back or whatever.

1:10:58Yes, exactly. Exactly. You can, like, there would be nothing worse than ejaculating and rolling over going, so how's your mum? She still all right? Yeah. How's Aunt Nan? How's Aunt Bjork? Dude, I got to go over there. You went? I went. And I'm going to Saudi Arabia coming up. Let's talk about that. Because you just talked about guitar. I'm going to this thing Saturday. I've been given a little bit of grief online. Nothing too much. About going to Saudi Arabia? Yeah, a few people have gotten into the comics who are going. And the list is big. It's Louis C.K. Me, Bill Burr, Fluffy's going, Whitney Cummings.

1:11:38Oh, there's a big festival going out? It's called the Riyadh Comedy Festival. And here we go. Andrews and Andrews Schultz, Aziz Ansari, Bill Burr, Jim Jeffries, Jimmy Carr, Joe Coy, Kevin Hart. You know, Sam, we've got people. Great lineup too. Jessica Kersen, Namish Patel. Wow. It's as good a line up I've seen at any comedy festival ever. Now, people have been going, oh, how dare you go over there after they killed a reporter. That was the big one. There's been a reporter who they killed. You don't think our government's fucking bumped people? I think Jeffrey Epstein was fucking bumped off. Oh, I'm sure.

1:12:16Right. Every place. We've damaged a lot of places. Yeah, yeah. one reporter was killed by the government, unfortunate, but not a fucking hill that I'm going to die on. It's not my, you know, and I don't know the ins and outs of their government. So then they get into the live golf, right? All the golfers go off to Saudi Arabia for, you know, a king's ransom amount of money. And everyone's like, how dare they after how they treat their people and all this type of stuff. And the people are like, I don't know. Then you've got Cristiano Ronaldo goes over and plays there. is being paid an extra, he gets an extra$200 ,000 every time he kicks a goal as a bonus, $50 ,000 for an assist.

1:12:55He has like an SPF fee, I heard. Even just putting it on before the games, they pay him extra to do that. That's crazy. So he's living there. He's engaged to his missus, but they've never gotten married, right? He's the first person in Saudi Arabia who's allowed to live with a woman who he's not married to. They've made, they've gone - An exception. They've gone, all right, all right, for Ronaldo, okay. He can do it. That's right. They have a lot of strong rules over there. So you can be angry at how they treat their people, how they treat the reporter. You can be angry at the golfers. You can be angry at things.

1:13:28But what better than basically we are freedom of speech machines being sent over there. They haven't asked. They have not at one stage asked to see our material. They haven't asked. And I've been asked in some countries in Asia, I've been asked for transcripts of what I'm going to say. Oh, yeah. Right? They haven't asked what we're going to do. And let's be fair. They have picked some fucking edgy ass comedians. Some seriously edgy ones. Yeah, yeah. Some of the greats. They've picked some edgy comedians. They're very smart too. If you don't agree with how they run their place, isn't this a step in the right direction?

1:14:07100%. Bringing free speech over. Yeah, yeah. Isn't this a sign that they're trying to do something different with themselves? Yeah. Like this would have been the highest ranks of government would have gone, all right, we're bringing out 30 fucking comedians who are allowed to say whatever the fuck they want. Who's up for this? This is a positive thing. I agree. Well, here's the thing that I don't understand too. It's like to live in a country where we're fortunate enough to have the freedom of speech, right? Yeah. And to say things we want. Yeah. And then to judge other places. Like I get judging them, but their rules are there.

1:14:40That's what makes their culture, right? And it's like, yes, we may not agree with some of them, and some of them we may deem as wrong, and some of them may be morally wrong or religiously wrong. But for that country, that's what's going on, right? Now, some of them I get. It's like, you know, that's wrong. That's fucked up. But some things – sometimes you're just attacking kind of the culture of a place, right? So it's like – And us isolating them teaches us nothing and teaches them nothing. Nothing, yeah. It also makes us look like this loud know-it-all all the time. That's the thing I don't like.

1:15:16Go live there for a few years. See how it is. I mean, of course. Well, I'm not going to live there. I don't want to put that out there. I'm happy here. Jim Jeffries is coming over. He's going to be staying. Yeah. I didn't sober up for that reason. Dude, I will say this, man. When I was in Qatar, everything was organized. There's nothing out of place. it's almost like there's a ton of respect everywhere. I mean, that's just what you see in public, right? I mean, things are clean. You wouldn't – People say the World Cup was wonderful. I was anti. I saw the World Cup in Germany in 2006, and I saw the Women's World Cup in Australia when that happened.

1:15:56I saw the Matildas, the Australian women's team, play. And I thought, why should we go to this little country that doesn't really have a soccer history or whatever like that. But everyone reckons the fucking crowds were super chill. They reckon it was piss easy to get beer. They actually had beer taps out the front of the stadium where you – Nuh-uh. Yeah, because they didn't want – their people actually touching it and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And so look at him there. Look at the mullet. I thought you just had a dirty headdress on you. You know what I mean? I thought that one bloke on the left hasn't washed his cloth there.

1:16:33that's a thing called a fobe over there they treated us so great i mean obviously we were there to like do a show and stuff but um but it was just great to get to see the culture and be a part of the culture a ton of like respect i and you know they don't like a lot of them don't drink or they don't do it like it's not as public here there's not pubs and bars and shit i didn't notice anyway where people are just drunk you know it's like i don't know it's it's definitely different i thought it was really unique you know i thought it was unique i was talking and talking to my friend the other day about this.

1:17:03Okay. So I, you've gigged in the UK, right? How good is a pub in the UK? Good. It's good. It's like a living room. Even in Ireland. Yeah. Yeah. Ireland, even better. Is that part of the UK? Yeah. Well, it's not. No, Northern Ireland is part of the UK. Ireland is, the Republic of Ireland is its own place, but, but they have reciprocal passports. You can live in either country. So, you know, it's that part of the world, right? And the pub is just so good and I feel like America is missing that. Sometimes they try to recreate an English pub, but I feel like what they're missing is you've got two levels of bar in America.

1:17:40You've got fancy-ass fucking bar, like really like everything's shiny and clean lines and unique and that glass back with all the bottles and all that type of stuff, almost a nightclub chic. Yeah. And you have the dive bar that is on Bar Rescue where there seems to be fucking gaffer tape holding everything together and it just sort of smells and the carpet's sticky. Yeah, some woman's living in the ice machine. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you're like, can I have a Bloody Mary? And they're like, yeah, and then they read a book. Oh, then they just punch a woman and they just bring her over. Like, here she is.

1:18:14That was kind of a dumb joke. My brain's tired today. Thank you for laughing. Bit of fun, brother, bit of fun. Anyway, so I think America's missing that middle bar, which is nice and everything's clean, but I can still walk in in a T-shirt and not feel like I'm, you know, and I don't have to line up and I don't have to know a guy. And it's just, they need to have more homely bars. Yeah, we're missing that neighborhood bar that's more popular in every place. Like one thing in the UK, they have all those, like the White Star. What's that bar they have in almost every town there? I think it's called the Red, no, White Lion maybe.

1:18:51Which town is this? The White Star Tavern is an award-winning pub, restaurant, hotel in Southampton. Southampton. No, this place is everywhere. They have chain ones, but you don't even know that they're a chain in Britain. No, they don't look chain at all. And they're just kind of like in every town they have them. Like on high street. There's a chain called Weatherspoons, which is a company that owns a ton of bars across Britain. There we go, J.D. Weatherspoons. One of the most well-known examples of J.D. Weatherspoons is simply spoons, they call it. Well, I performed in the corner of a few spoons in my day.

1:19:22Have you? Oh, yeah, man. Yeah, man. Dude, I performed in this one place in South Dakota. They had a parrot in the bar. It was like part of a thing, right? And every now and then, sometimes it could say some words, and sometimes it would repeat a bit of your punchline or something. Oh, it actually like a... Yeah. Yeah. That's f***. Yeah, that's something, you know. Bit of fun. I'll bleep that out, yeah, bud. That's a bit of fun. Yeah, we'll leave it in. It's your podcast, mate. It's true, dude. I didn't say it. You said it. If I'm in trouble for sitting next to you saying it, then the world's gone too far, I think.

1:19:51Yeah, and that's gay. That's like sort of my new special, man. I want to talk about it just quickly. Yeah, I want to talk about the two-limb policy, man. And I'm glad that you had to set that in stone because it's just amazing the levels of people will go around, you know, to try and cheat the system. Well, I do a meet and greet. They normally just join the meet and greet. You do it for free, I know, too, which I think is pretty amazing. Well, okay, so for the disabled people, it's for free. I do a meet and greet with a ticket with the people in the front row. Oh, that's fair. But like 50 people.

1:20:20Yeah. And then the disabled people are included in that. And the disabled people, God bless them, they always wait till the end of the meet and greet. I'm like, you come first. Don't worry about it. Don't worry. I know you're seated the whole time and the rest of them are standing. But I always get off stage. Oh, they're beautiful. I used to drink before I went to stage. And the first thing I do is pop an edible because it helps me sleep and it's also my way of chilling out. I don't go out to bars. I don't do anything. I'm not bloody, you know, I'm an happily married man. I'm not out chasing tail.

1:20:46I'm just fucking, I just chill into my. and then I do the meet and greet and then I talk to everyone a few minutes as I meet them and chat to them about whatever they want to chat to me about. But you know you're too high when someone's paid$80 to meet you and they stop the conversation. And they go, all right, Jim, it was great meeting you. And you're like this, oh God, I just bored the shit out of these people. And they just paid to meet me and they found me boring. Yeah, they're like, hey, Jim, what's getting laid in? I've got something in the oven, Jim. We've got a sitter.

1:21:26Jim's like, wait, wait. I was just enjoying the show. Come back next time. Yeah, dude, I think it's – congratulations. How many specials do you have now? That's special number 10, but it's special number six on Netflix. I think I actually have the record for Netflix. I think you have the record total for anybody. Anybody has 10 specials. I think Carlin had 11 or something like that, but I have the six is the Hellbound thing. So yeah, one, two, three, four, five, six, ten. Yeah, ten. Oh no, hang on, hang on. We haven't got the new one. Two Limb Policy. Two Limb Policy's got to go down there. Well, Contraband was just a DVD.

1:22:06Swear to God was HBO. Alcoholic Cost was Showtime. Then there was Epix. And then Bear Down is Tattoo Lim Policy, which is on there, are all Netflix. And I think Chappelle has like five Netflixes or something like that. But I was just lucky. I was – okay, so there was five specials came out on the first ever Netflix. Netflix didn't do specials. Netflix was still more of a – this was about 12, 13 years ago. And they brought it – they had billboards up. Netflix is a joke. They started it. This was before the festival. and they were getting into the comedy special market and they selected five comedians.

1:22:43And I remember people like actually going, oh, you were on HBO and now you're on Netflix. Someone's career is going well. Like really passionate. Yeah, somebody from that little guy from Family Guy or whatever. Yeah, little patronizing facts, right? Anyway, so the five comics they had were me, Bill Burr, Chelsea Hanley and Chelsea Peretti, right? So it's a good lineup, right? Really good lineup of comics. and they were just, if these specials go well, we will continue. If they don't go well, we gave it a go. That was Netflix, the feeling I got from them. Yeah. And the fifth comic, they were going to do a press conference and everything, and I was all excited.

1:23:18It was Bill Cosby. Now, no one's ever seen that special. That special's never. Really? But he did record it. He recorded one for Netflix. It's never been seen. Have you seen it? No. What, you think Netflix give me a special password that no one else gets? I still pay for my fucking Netflix like everyone else, man. Dude, that's a good point. I freaking have a Netflix version. I freaking pay for Netflix too. Yeah, I've got six Netflix specials and I have to log in like everyone else to watch me. I have fucking two accounts, one here and one in Nashville. They tell me off when I'm on an Airbnb. They go, you've logged into too many devices.

1:23:50Me. That's one of the things I do do. When I'm in an Airbnb and someone else has already logged into Netflix and someone else's account that I've never met, as I leave the house, I put my special on. I think, one more rating. Get one more. That's it right there. Here we go. So it's 2014. Bill Cosby, 77. It's an unreleased 2014 stand-up comedy film, filmed for a live audience at San Francisco Jazz Center in California around 60 minutes in duration. Cosby pontificating on matters of children, romance, and matrimony. Yeah. You know, when he came out of prison, the first thing he did, because I was at Flappers like that night just trying stuff out, and then I went to the improv like a couple of days later, and he rang every comedy club was the first thing because he would have rung one of his managers and they're like, hey, we don't rep you anymore, dude.

1:24:39And then he rang up the comedy clubs as he was out of prison. His first impulse was I want to do stand-up. Get back on stage. And there's a bit of me that wants to see that, don't you? Like as terrible a man as he is, you know, but I want to hear how he fashioned a shiv out of in prison, you know what I mean? Yeah, I want to hear how, like, if he was still doing, I guess, if he was still doing rapes in prison or whatever, too. Or what, like, is there a group in prison if you're a raper? Like a, you know what I'm saying? Or like a group of, you know what I'm saying? Because who do you, because once you get into, things get very tribal in there.

1:25:14So, like, do you associate with people that kind of have similar crimes? I think everyone just, he was one of these people who was almost blind. He's only got like 10%. He's got cataracts on his eyes. I think they just left him alone. And he's probably, probably people with starstruck. You know, you're all criminals in there. You know what I mean? Dude, a friend of mine did cocaine with OJ Simpson once. Right. We're in New York City. As you do. Yeah. And they said that nobody had a car key on them. They were just doing bumps of cocaine. And OJ had a knife on them that he pulled out and used it to give everybody cocaine.

1:25:46And I know my friend's not lying about this. And this is obviously after the murders. This isn't like the night before. Yeah. But just imagine that. Like imagine being, because I mean, he had that book, If I Did It. Like imagine it's being that psychotic that you're going to live right there on that line of just like grotesqueness really for people. It's funny because drugs are the thing, aren't they? Drugs are the thing that if you do them in front of people, that's a real sign of trust. That I'm letting you into my circle, that you're going to watch me do this thing, that I could get in trouble.

1:26:26So, you know, there was a comic I know and I won't get, you know, because he doesn't want to be known about this at all and his career is going fine and all that sort of stuff. But he was doing it, you know, and then one of his mates sent out a photo of him doing it to the paper. And then it was just like, you know, like, fuck you, dude. Like, fuck you. You know, I've, back in the day, 20 years ago, I've done drugs with famous people in the room and I'm a blabbermouth. I'll fucking tell any story I can to get laughs, but I've never slipped up on that. I feel that's an intensely private thing. Yeah, I think it would be awkward.

1:27:03Except for O.J. Simpson, where of course I would fucking do it. You have to tell that. If it's a murderer, you can talk about the murderer. Who's y 'all's best murderer over there from Australia, you think? Well, Chopper's not bad. You know what was good about Chopper is they made a movie about him. The movie was massive, right? He's dead now. And then as he was dying, he went on 60 Minutes and talked about more murders that he did after the movie. No. Wow. He basically became a stand-up comic afterwards. After the movie came out and he went and did a raconteur night with Chopper where he'd tell his stories.

1:27:35And anyway, so then I stabbed the little cunt and fucking, you know, he did all that type of stuff. And a bloke came up to him afterwards who was like some guy from a gang that he had to fight. And he came up with a book to the book signing and went, G'day, Chop Chop. He goes, oh, it's been a while, mate. We used to be adversaries. didn't he think he was all water under the bridge? Then he killed that cunt. Really? He was already fucking. And then so he's dying. He was off the clock at that point. He's dying of cancer, like a few weeks left. And so he just goes on 60 Minutes and talks about his other murders.

1:28:08You have to. Fuck it. You have to. And everyone could do an impersonation of him. Everyone does the impersonation of Eric Banner's impersonation. Rather, you know, it's two impersonations removed. Chopper. but do yourself a favor man watch the movie Chopper it's a fucking banger of a movie there's this one scene where he shoots a guy because he's like where's the drug money where's the drug money where's the drug money where is it there's no money there's no money there's no money there's no money show me the fucking money I want to see the fucking money I want to see the fucking money like that right and then the guy's just like this and then he like feels bad for him and he drives him to the fucking emergency room himself wow right yeah that's tough to do it's hard to drive when somebody's when there's that energy that somebody's bleeding in the car.

1:28:50Is it? I find, yeah. I've had friends bleeding and you're trying to get there and they're kind of pissed. You're like, look, I'm taking you, you know? And it's like, but it wasn't a gun wound. It was someone cut themselves or something. Yeah, it was a knife wound. But yeah, still like, I think there's that nerve, there's that scary energy. Or I had a friend who went into labor and had to get them to the hospital. It's like, fuck. The birth, going in for the birth, that is... Would you do it again? Oh, I can't. I've had a vasectomy. You could do it. I could reverse the vasectomies anymore. You know what they do?

1:29:24They just put a needle in your testicle and they extract the semen. No, and just give it to your wife? And then just give it to your wife. So if I ever wanted to have another one, I don't know, would that be like some old ass cum that's just sitting around your belly? But, oh, here we go. Ivan Milat. Here we go. So he's the backpacker murderer. Ivan, the movie Wolf Creek, you've seen Wolf Creek? Oh, yeah, scary, dude. That's based on Ivan Milat. Now, Ivan Milat was this guy, the British backpackers, if they broke down, he went and helped them out with their trucks and then they were never fucking seen again.

1:29:55And they don't know. Every now and again they would find a body. I think he's dead. Yeah, he's dead. Every now and again they'd find a body and they'd go, and Ivan would go, yeah, that one's me as well. Oh, yeah, fucking got me. Did you ever meet any of these guys? Okay. I never met any of them. But there was – I have a story about – there's one called the Claremont Killer. Claremont Killer was – when I was in university in Perth and I was getting into – I'd done stand-up when I was 17 and then stopped doing it. And then when I was 20, I took it back up again. I'd done like four open mics. And then I thought, I'll give it another go at it because out of the three or four open mics I had, I had a couple of bad experiences and I was scared.

1:30:38Yeah. So the Claremont killer, this bloke here. Bradley Robert Edwards. Yeah. So a man convicted and murdered. The crimes happened. That's when I was at university, right? These are the years when I was at university. So the place was – now Claremont was a very posh area in Perth and it was a big nightlife place and all the girls allegedly went to get a taxi or whatever. And so all the taxi drivers were being checked for DNA and all that sort of stuff. You know when you're starting in comedy, what do you do to get more stage time? You run your own gig. Yeah. We've all done it. You set up a gig in a pub, I'll emcee.

1:31:14Invite all your friends. Invite some other open micers that you've become mates with. Invite all your friends. And this is how you start to work up to get good at it, right? And luckily for me, all the bars in Claremont were dead empty. They needed punters. So the bar, the Claremont Hotel, which is one of the nicest pubs in all of Western Australia, could have no one there on a Friday or Saturday. Because of the killer. It's like I'll make sure we all drive in and there's always designated drivers and that type of stuff because all the rest of the girls got in cabs. Everyone stayed together. All my mates from university, we used to go out into the murder zone to watch me do stand-up.

1:31:54That's fucking class, dude. We had a guy. Who did we have? We had the Baton Rouge serial killer when I was in college over there. Bring him up, and that was Lee. Harvey. No. Todd Lee. Derek Todd Lee. DTL, they called him. Oh, here we go. DTL. And he was DTF, too, I think. He was a killer and rapist. Not a lot of black serial killers. I watched a lot of true crime. Yeah, because they kept saying he was white, and they kept, like, swabbing all the honkies in our town and everything. and then they called him. They called him right there, Peanut. They called him too. Some people called him Peanut.

1:32:33Did he get killed in prison? Where is he today? He looks like he could work for UPS. You don't have the death penalty down there? I don't know. I mean, if you hang out in New Orleans long enough, you'll get shot once, but I don't know if that's the death penalty. That's just like tourism. So you grew up in like not in New Orleans, right? Yeah, regular town. Covington is our town. Covington. Yeah. I don't know if we had any, no Aussies near us. I've, I've, I've very, it's a funny thing about like, all the, all the Australians who come out, they go, I'm coming out to LA, I'm going to come out to LA.

1:33:06And then they come and visit me and they'll go, where are you going? He goes, oh, we're going to go to New York and we're going to go to Orlando. Right. That's all the three places they go. Is that the main spots? I was wondering what are the main spots that Australians go in the US? I just, I've been telling people, go to fucking Nashville, man. It's like, it's like as much fun. They'll go to Vegas as well, of course. Right. Right. And I'm like, go to Miami. Sammy, go to New Orleans. There's like these places that are fucking awesome. There's so many cities in America where you're like, this place is fucking a bug.

1:33:37And there's also hidden gems in Australia that you might not know about. Like a lot of people might go to Brisbane instead of going to the Gold Coast, and the Gold Coast has got a lot of fun things to do. Oh, the Gold Coast was amazing, dude. We got bikes and went and you could ride them on the sand on the beach, those motorized bikes, dude, just zipping. I mean, the beach, it was like 70 miles long. You're just cruising. Absolutely beautiful. you know dude that was that's that's that's our miami in it yes it was and it was just like but a little bit more rednecky miami yeah a little safer though too cleaner yeah yeah oh no it's it's a banger it's a banger of a place but how'd you find the sun you had to put sunscreen we went to new zealand and the sun there will kill you you can't stay out very long some of the beaches there well the whole the hole in the ozone layer it's real is over australian new zealand is over australian New Zealand.

1:34:22There's one, I believe, on the North Pole and the other one's down there. But I'm an environmentalist in the sense that I believe in global warming and I think that we need to make adjustments. Otherwise, the world's fucked and the water levels are going to rise. And I know a lot of people don't believe that. But I will say this. We got rid of the CFCs from the hairspray, from the refrigeration and from the styrofoam, which was the three main places where CFC and the holes getting smaller, it does, if we make change, that is a good example of how things can actually fix itself. Right. You know what I mean?

1:34:56Because we only found out about it. Like we've got, there's a layer. In the 80s, they were like, there's a layer. Oh yeah. And sadly, there's a hole in it and we're fucked. Fuck. That's the most, I mean. And like, can you imagine now if they brought that out at news, the internet, the conspiracy theories that would come out now, If you went, there's a mystical layer around us and there's a hole in it and the UB rights go through there and then they... Nobody would believe that. It's too far-fetched. But it's the same as like the first can't just tell you about germs. Oh, there's these things you can't see that'll get on you and make you sick.

1:35:33And if you're doing surgery or stuff, you should wash your hands because if those germs get into the cut, infections will happen. What do you mean? Oh, you can't see them. Like they're ghosts? Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what you would ask. They would be ridiculous. Yeah, yeah. And they're microscopic. They're little tiny things and they'll jump. That's fucking. They would have hung him. They probably killed that guy. That's science fiction shit. Yeah. That's completely science fiction shit. Everything's kind of like, everything's science fiction really until, you know, until it becomes true, I guess.

1:36:03Everything's, I don't know. My brain is shocked. Well, my mate, Rhys Darby, who you know, Rhys Darby from Our Flag Means Death, Apply the Conchords. He's a big Bigfoot guy. Is he? He loves Bigfoot. Does Australians have their own Bigfoot? There's probably some. Oh, we have a bunyip. Bunyip? Bunyips. Let me see them bunyips. Yeah, a bunyip is like, so B-U-N-B-U-N-Y-U-P. There we go, bunyip. There it is. A mythical creature from Australia, Aboriginal folklore, primarily found in the Southeastern regions. It's described as a large aquatic beast and having swamps, billabongs, creeks, and water holes.

1:36:39Yeah, the bunyip. Oh, yeah. What Rhys always says to me, I go, where's the bones? Where's the fossils? Where's the thing? And he always goes, the platypus? Because the platypus was a mythical thing until someone actually caught one. There was people who said, I've seen it. It's the beaver with a duck's head. Yeah. Right? Yeah, yeah. It's a beaver with a duck's head. It's a trans beaver or whatever. And they're so elusive and they're so at the bottom of these creeks and stuff like that that no one ever saw them. They were a Bigfoot of its time. And no shit. They look like they are totally fictional.

1:37:15If you look at that animal, I mean, that's insane looking. They're their own breed of animal. They're a monotrim, which means that they are a marsupial that lays eggs. Wow. So every other marsupial uses a pouch, and obviously the animal crawls into the pouch and digests, and it gets bigger and bigger and bigger until it can stick its head out of the pouch, etc. right? But this is, yeah, it's a marsupial that lays eggs. It's its own fucking creature, man. They're beautiful. We got to get somebody to bring one in. I would love to see one. Well, I've only ever seen them in the zoo. You think they're keen to people?

1:37:47I've never seen one in the wild. They're on one of our coins. You know, we always put a different, that's the great thing about Australia is we have some good looking, there he is, there's the platypus and he's all swimming around, 20 cents. That peepus right there. Yeah, he gets on the money. He's popular, They're called the platypus. I love them. And are they only in Australia? Yes, they're only in Australia. Oh, wow. See, that's a great thing. You guys have like, it's just something unique over there, man. I really think that, I wonder if people are excited about the direction America's headed.

1:38:22I wonder if people are, I don't know. I just get paranoid that everybody's kind of freaking out right now. Okay. Are people freaking out in Australia right now? Yes, everyone's freaking out all around the world. Really? Yeah, the world is in a transitional phase. Which direction we're about to go in, who knows. Things might, you know, look, I'm an anti-Trump guy. I know you've met, you know him, right? Yeah, I mean, as much as you can kind of know. I mean, actually, you know, I've met him a couple times, you know. Right, and I know that a lot of people, fans of this podcast are going to hate me, right?

1:38:56So, but that's life. That's putting yourself out there, right? So I'm at the stage now with Donald Trump where I can't argue anymore. I've done the stand-up routines. I had a TV show where I talked about it. There's no more arguments for me to make about the guy because he's not getting fucking voted in again. This is it. Right. These next three years, this is it. It's here now. So I'm of the opinion let's just fucking see how it goes. You know, this whole idea that Americans are always with impeach. impeach, he's been impeached. Bill Clinton was impeached. It's all bullshit. Yeah. Means fucking nothing.

1:39:36Yeah. Means nothing. Oh, but he's a convicted criminal. Only makes him stronger. What the liberals have to stop doing is kicking up and down, going he's wrong and this is wrong, and just figure out ways to beat him. Stop fucking telling me how bad he is and figure out a way to fucking beat him because Kamala Harris wasn't the fucking answer. Yeah. Right? Oh, I agree. You know, so. I agree that you got to figure, you have to, yeah, it's like you have to find a solution. if you're just sitting there yelling about everything. Most of these parties do. But now there is no beating him. Now it's just riding it out, right?

1:40:06Just riding it. You know, it's – he said – was it on your podcast where he said he would get rid of income tax? Was it here? Whose podcast – it was on some podcast. It might have been – It might have been with Schultz. It might have been Schultz. He said, if the tariffs work, I'll get rid of income tax. I tell you what, I have been one of those people who referred to Donald Trump as Hitler, right? And I will also add this. Not at the end, not after, because everyone goes, but Hitler killed six million Jews. I'm not talking about that era. I'm talking about Hitler just out of art school. Yeah, yeah.

1:40:39Yeah, you know, I'm like, you know. Yeah, like sophomore Hitler. Yeah, yeah. So I tell you what, if he gets rid of income tax, you'll never hear me call him Hitler ever again. I'll be too busy calling him my Fuhrer. If he gets rid of income tax, you'll have no more complaints from me. I'll be all right. But, like, you know, look, I'll ask you a question. How do you think things are going? I think that I don't like this stuff with Gaza in the Middle East. I don't understand why we have such a – why we give so much money to Israel. Like, you know, a lot of the big countries are against them right now.

1:41:13I think Netanyahu is, like, the new Hitler. It's like – or that Netanyahu is the worst. So it's like I don't understand that relationship. it's a tricky one that one because no one wants to watch a genocide and what happened that they shouldn't have taken hostages and no one you know Hamas isn't fucking angels and all that stuff but if if you can see those pictures of those starving kids and not be moved and not think that we should do something about that that's fucking you're wrong I yeah you know what I mean so so whatever side I don't want to get into what side I'm on I think it's pretty obvious where I'm at but whatever side you're on, right, we're all on the side of children not fucking starving, right?

1:41:55Yeah. We're all on that side. So let's figure that out. And then diplomacy, let's fucking talk. Yeah, now we've got Palestine being recognized as its own state and stuff like that. Maybe that's somewhere where we can start moving forward. I don't have the answer. Yeah, me neither. But what's going on now is not the fucking right thing, I'll tell you that much. And a lot of politicians have to, you know, we elect these people to actually make change. All right, make change, man. You know, I could be turned in to a Donald Trump fan very quickly. It wouldn't take much if he just, if he stopped that war there really, like in a succinct way that was fair and just.

1:42:39You got all my support in the world, man. I'm not just here going, fuck that guy and his dumb fucking orange skin and his bad comb over. you know what i mean like it's not a it's sorry so you were saying you i want to see action i just you know it's like and then i wonder you know it feels very much like we're headed into a surveillance state you know these are things that i just like am concerned about i overall i'd i'm i've think you were just saying how much you enjoyed australia and how britain all that sort of stuff britain's got more cameras than i agree but i'll film 24 hours a day i think we're headed there very quickly that's why there's all this ice stuff that's why they're pulling everybody off the streets because they have to get inventory.

1:43:13In two years, there's going to be, I believe, we're going to be in a surveillance state. You won't be able to, say if you walked out in public and you were not here, you didn't have documentation to be here, and people have different thoughts and all that, that's fine. I'm just saying that if you didn't have documentation to be here, the cameras would notice immediately. So everything has to be on the books. That's where I think we're headed, and so that's why I think they're doing all of that stuff, which I'm not saying makes it wrong or right, but I think that's where we're headed. But we've already got that.

1:43:39Okay, so Louisiana has that prison escape, right? You know, all those prisons. They caught them all through facial recognition. Who does? Louisiana? Yeah, you remember when there was that prison? Yeah, they all ran off that loading dock, right? One's still out, I think. Who's that? Hot boy, they call him. Is there one still going? They call him hot boy. This is the weird thing about prison breaks. Never in cinematic history have we championed the police trying to catch him. That's true. Every time we got one out. Oh, as of June, 2025, the Louisiana inmates are no longer at large. Damn. Yeah, they're all done.

1:44:13Antoine Massey and Derek Groves, the last two to be apprehended. Shut up, Massey and Groves. But this was the thing is there was facial recognition that picked up the people. And now they're like, oh, yeah, we have that technology here. Right. They had to admit it. They had to admit it because that's how they caught them. And while we were using it for a thing, we weren't using it again. They just sort of fluffed over it like, yeah, of course, they've already got it, mate. Yeah. They've already got it. Have you seen, I'm a support the Clippers. If you go to that Inuit Dome, have you been to see anything there?

1:44:40You don't, there's just facial recognition as you walk in. That's it. You've already done it on the app. As you walk in, they're like, hello, Jim. And you're like, wow. Yeah. You just walk a straight in. It's happening fast. It's here. We're not realizing that it's here, you know? But I'll say this. I just want people to be able to be, I don't, you know, it's kind of like ethereal, but it's like, you want people to be able to live in a safe place. You want people to have jobs and have purpose. So those types of things. I don't understand some of the bigger picture things like what happens with tariffs and what their goals are and all that kind of shit.

1:45:11I just – it starts to really feel like that neither party represents the people and that's the part that kind of concerns me the most. Well, the tariffs, I just wish they – if you need to do them. Okay, so I haven't felt any joy from it. I haven't seen my bank balance go up. I haven't seen my neighbor get a job. I haven't seen factories. And I might be wrong, but just the eye check, I haven't seen any benefit from it. All I've found is there's things that I'm paying for that are costing more, right? But maybe it's too soon. Look, I don't - I think it could be too soon to tell. I think he's a brash guy.

1:45:49Shit is going to be brash. Is he leaning in and making it more brash for no reason? He needs a cleaner fucking thing that we see. We go, this is how - Every day you turn on the news, it's like this. We're going to tariff them 35%. and this country's getting 30 and fuck you 45 for you cunts you know what i mean like it's it really is just a bloke just throwing numbers out there if he had a thing with a chart a very clear thing that said this country's are getting this and this is the reason why and this is how we're going forward i might not agree with it i may not respect it but at least i'd understand it i agree get a fucking chart man get us a chart things just seem very bizarre but i think i feel like They all know something that's going on are going to happen, and we don't know it.

1:46:34That's a feeling that I have. Any war could happen at any fucking stage. I don't know if it's war. It could be aliens. It could be anything. You reckon it's aliens? You know? I don't know. You reckon the aliens will wait until now? After all of it? Yeah. Okay, so you think – I've seen a UFO. You know where I saw a UFO? I saw a UFO with a plane of people. I was on an airplane, and I saw a UFO, and we all looked out the window and went, blah, blah, blah, blah. In USA? In USA? In America. Wow. But we were flying over Area 51. We were flying near Vegas, coming back across the thing. I don't think I saw an alien.

1:47:10I think I saw a test vehicle being flown. But it was circular, like a ball, and it moved in those type of motions. No doubt you saw it. I saw it with a lot of people. I saw it with a lot of people. And have you all kept in touch or anything like that? No. I didn't get my phone out, which I wish I did, because we all went, I was over Area 51. Area 51, by its own admission, is where they test new aircrafts, where they test new aircrafts. So I saw an unidentified flying object. I don't believe there were aliens in it. Now, could it be alien technology? I don't think. It's a really long way. I believe there's lots of aliens out there.

1:47:50I believe there's tons of them. I just don't think if you came here and visited, you'd hover around a little bit and then duck off. I think there'd be more to it. I think they used to come here a lot, and now this is like going to like an old theme park. I don't think they come here as much. I think like if you have to bring your kids here for like their spring break, if you're an alien, their kids are like, fuck that place, you know? So I think they're probably off doing cooler shit maybe, but what do I know, you know? Oh, you don't want to go there. It's like our planet in the 70s. Or like they're like Panama City Beach or something, Florida, you know?

1:48:21It's like used to be great, but now they're all going to like Vegas somewhere, some other place. Do you think in your lifetime we will have proof of aliens? Yes, I do. In your lifetime? Yeah, I think something is looming in the distance, it feels like. Because we have proof of UFOs. They've shown the footage. The FBI has released footage. Fucking you saw one. Yeah, but it's unidentified flying objects. It doesn't mean – and it so happens that you seem to see them more in America. That makes no fucking sense. The Scottish see them the most. Do they? The Scots, yeah. They love them. But they're heavy drinkers.

1:48:53Heavy, heavy drinkers. Exactly. And it's always so cloudy. You get a little bit of light coming through the clouds. Hey, hey. Whoa. You have four? Seen it? You know what I mean? That's just the sun, mate. It's just a bit of Ray Gun, lad. Jim Jeffries, dude, thanks so much for hanging out, dude. I got a show tonight, so I got to. Can I just plug what I've got going on? Oh, yeah, for sure. Just very quickly. I'll just get my plugs out of the way. I've got Two Limb Policy on Netflix right now. Watch it. I'm very proud of it, happy with this special. I also have a podcast called ATM with me and Amos Gill that is coming out.

1:49:34I am in a movie coming out, a Jordan Peele film called Him, which is directed by Justin Tipping, produced by Jordan Peele, Marlon Wayans, Tyreek Withers, Julia Fox, and it's like a proper cinematic release, and I'm like doing drama shit, man. I'm like acting in that. And I have a TV show on Fox, which is a reality show called The Snake, which is a lot of fun, which is my 12-year-old's favorite program, favorite thing I've done. So The Snake is like a mix between Fear Factor, Survivor, and Big Brother. But check out The Snake. Yeah. The Snake's all right, man. And you can watch it with your kids, right?

1:50:14It's the first thing I've done that I can watch with my kids. That's pretty cool. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We're growing up. That's me four things. I'll probably last time I did a podcast was probably six years ago or something like that and that's I'll wait until all these things are done and see if I have some new stuff and come back in again I'd love to anytime I feel bad man today I was just really kind of tired I think I'm kind of exhausted so it's hard for me to like think of some different stuff you know I didn't shut up man so I'm sorry if you had some more questions that was a blessing dude and we want to get that photo of Lieutenant Max Nugent we'd love to keep him here if it's okay with your brother that would be unless that's weird is it weird you don't have to have him here all the time You can have him sometimes or whatever or whatever.

1:50:52But no, anytime we can remember. That's my favorite thing I just did today was talk about my nephew. Yeah. Well, it was awesome to see a photo of him, and thank you for sharing. And thank you for your service, Mr. Max Nugent. We appreciate that. Jim Jeffries, to Limb. Policy. Policy. Is out now. Check it out. I'll share it on socials in just a few minutes as soon as you get out of here. Thanks so much, dude, and congratulations on everything. Thanks, bro. Yeah. You too. Now I'm just floating on the breeze And I feel I'm falling like these leaves I must be cornerstone Oh, but when I reach that ground I'll share this peace of mind I found I can feel it in my bones But it's gonna take...