#612 - Pete Davidson

0:00If you missed the Return of the Rat Tour, we've added tour merch to the website. We've got pocket tees, hats, bags, and whatnot. The Bubby tees are also back in stock as well as some items from the Outdoor Collection, all available at TheovanStore.com. Thanks to everyone who came out and supported on this tour. I can't believe that we're almost done. And we've taken the tour merch that we didn't sell out there and put it onto the website in case you missed something. And yeah, love you guys, baby. Thank you. Today's guest is a comedian and an actor out of Staten Island, New York. He was once a young king and now he's a medium king.

0:47He's about to take on a world tour in some select cities. You know, this is the first time we've sat this long and gotten to really talk. I'm very fortunate for his time. He's an exceptional young man. And today's guest is Mr. Pete Davidson.

1:20Thanks for coming by, dude. Dude, thank you for fucking having me. It was awesome. Oh, yeah. I only watched you and I listened to this podcast. What are you talking about, Joel Osteen? No, I listen to your podcast, and I listen to this podcast called How Did This Get Made, where they just kind of talk about movies. Oh, yeah, people. Wait, wait, I know whose show. That's not Doug. It's Manzoukas and Paul Scheer. They just talk about movies that were ridiculous, and then just the math of how they got made. Paul Scheer is so cool. He is really cool. Good guy. Is he? Yeah. I never known him that much except just seeing him in movies and TV.

2:02Manzoukas is maybe pound for pound one of the fucking funniest human beings. Really? It's amazing. Manzoukas, huh? Let me get a gander at him. Oh, he's all the ethnicities, huh? He's a fucking Gaza strip of a man. Dear God. I'd be afraid to open my car door if I were him. And I wouldn't even know which way it was coming from. He's one of those guys that's looked like that forever. And now he's the appropriate age to look like that. But he'll also still look like that forever. You know what I mean? He looks like somebody off that Muslim version of Guess Who. Remember that game? You know what I'm saying?

2:36And no offense, Mr. Manzoukas. If you're as funny as he says you are, you're okay with some of this. They should have a Muslim version of Guess Who. Dude, they have an Asian version. It's just all the same guy, oh, man. Do they really? Do they have one for every country? I'm sure they do. It's fucking the way they do it now. That's what I like about this. You learn a little bit. oh yeah yeah well they have a guess who too for like twinks i know there's one it's like one of these guys doesn't mind meeting other guys or whatever this is crazy dude you're going on your first international tour is that cool pete davidson good to see you today man thanks for having me bro yeah thanks dude i'm uh i'm stoked i've never been uh anywhere unless it was for like work right um but i've always wanted to try it's just like i I can't believe that anybody would come see me over there.

3:27Yeah. You almost need to go there to believe that. Yeah. I'm kind of like dumb where I'm like, no one knows me in, you know, Australia. Yeah. I've never been there before. I don't have friends there. Yeah. But I'm excited. Are you taking anybody with you? Is it only you? It's me and my friend Joey Gay, who does shows, been doing shows with me since I'm like 18. Oh, nice. Bring him up. Let me get a picture of Joey Gay. Oh, Joey Gay is fucking hilarious, dude. I may have met him, but I can't remember. He's been around forever. He's just one of those dudes that just always destroys. Oh, there he is.

4:01Yeah. He's also been my friend since the before time. Oh, I know him. Yeah, he's a monster dude. He's fucking great. I know him. He looks a little bit like Chris, almost like Chris DiStefano and Charlemagne had a kid a little bit in that picture. No, he's a real good dude. Oh, that's great. Yeah. Where are you guys headed to? I know you're headed to Perth, I saw. Perth, Sydney. Oh, yeah. Another one, maybe Melbourne? Yeah. It could be wrong. I have no idea. You know when you get a tour schedule and you're super intimidated and you just go day by day? But I know we're doing it. Oh, here they are.

4:37Singapore, whoa. Yeah. And what's causing all that? There's a lot of good street food there. That was just Burke. I don't know if, you know. We have the same agent. Yeah, we have the same agent. So, you know, he'll be like, yeah, you know, you could fit this one in there. You know, it's on the way. There's a layover over there. Why don't you parachute into the Azores? I got a hostage facility outside of Guantanamo. I'll sell 200 tickets in right now. They owe me. They owe me. All right, whatever. Yeah, they always do owe me.

5:08I got it. Dude, that's going to be great. And you're going to Riyadh. So how do you guys feel about this Saudi Arabian Comedy Festival? There's been a lot of talk about this recently. Are they limiting what you guys can say? Have you heard anything about it yet? That one I haven't heard much about. Singapore, I had like a laundry list of stuff. It was pretty much my whole act. So I don't know what to do. I'm like Googling old sets from when I was like 20. I'm just going to do the classics. Dude, do some of Jim Gaffigan's bits. That's what I do if I'm in a tough spot. Just do, I mean, or just do Nate's stuff.

5:46Just very evergreen, clean stuff. Have you ever had that problem? Yeah, dude. Oh, yeah, I have it a lot. I mean, I have a lot where it's like you have to sift back through. They're like, one of them was like, you could talk about sex, but like, not like in a dirty way. Right. And I'm like, what the fuck does that mean? Yeah. So. I guess let's, let's try to have a conversation about sex, but not in a dirty way. Oh man, I had some, I was, I had some sex recently. Yeah. How'd it go? Well, I thought it went pretty good. You know, I was on a full stomach. So. Did you both blast? Hold on. I need to leave this conversation.

6:25This isn't Singapore approved, I think. And they'll beat you with that stick over there. Remember they killed that honky over there like 25 years ago. Remember that guy? Christopher Reeves or whatever. Who was that guy? They killed Christopher Reeves in Singapore? I think, or maybe it's not him. Who was it? This is a huge thing when I was a child. They beat this guy for doing something over there. What was he doing? Oh, this guy. Michael Fay. There he was. Oh, man. Tina Fay's brother. This is why she had to win. She didn't have a choice. The person was famously caned in Singapore as Michael Fay, an American teenager in 1994.

7:03Fay was sentenced by a Singaporean court to six strokes of the cane and four months in jail for acts of vandalism, specifically for spray painting and damaging cars. Oh, he didn't do anything. As well as stealing road signs. Yeah. I mean, that's fine. Oh, that's just a little bit of Newsome foreplay right there. That's nothing, dude. That's sad. It's sad in general, but just for, like, spray painting cars and stealing road signs. I feel like they should just, you know, cut your hand off or something. Well, I think this guy's pretty lucky, dude. Some places, I guess they still have a lot of that.

7:35But, no, what I've heard, dude, is that that Riyadh festival is that they're like, you know, there's a lot of people that say people are getting paid by this Middle Eastern money. Right. You know, and that they can say this or they can't say that or that they're over there. They're going to try to influence you guys in order to speak certain ways. Do you are you part of that conspiracy theory or is that nothing you're on? I've heard there's subreddits of like I think all these people are in bed with that. I just, you know, I get the routing and then I see the number and I go, I'll go. Yeah. You know, and also.

8:10So, you know, there's part of me that's just like, you know, I've been getting a little bit of flack just because like my dad died 9-11. So they're like, how could you possibly go there? So your dad died during 9-11. He died in one of the buildings? Yeah, he was a fireman. They were actually the first truck there. There's like this very, this is how shitty my luck is. Also, not to make this all about myself, but. Well, it's an interview of you. Right. If you do, it's okay. I meant 9-11, but yeah, it's all about me. There's a very famous shot that you see every 9-11 besides the obvious ones, but they were the first truck over the bridge to the 9-11s.

8:51Yeah, so the front page is just like, Pete's dad. I'm like, oh. He's waving out the window? Yeah, he's like that. So yeah, they were the first truck over there, and pretty much the whole house died. Oh. which is sad, but also at least he died with his pals. You know, it's kind of. They all went in as a group, huh? That's his truck. No, that's the picture. You see the truck on the bridge? Oh. Yeah, yeah, yeah. My dad's in there, dude. I wonder. God, man. Sorry. That's something Shane Gillis would say, dude. Pretty gay, dude. He's in there. It's pretty gay. I don't know. Yeah, dude. Yeah, my Down Syndrome brother's in there.

9:30Yeah, I feel like that's what Shane would say the whole time. That's your dad right there? That's my pops, dude. Dude, you're part Latino? No, no, all white and Jewish and Irish. Oh, wow. And a little Italian. Yeah, but I feel like our family looks mixed, but we're not. Well, it's crazy that he died in 9-11 and also part of him is accused of doing it. That's the craziest part. So I think that's where you're the fucking, you're the Bermuda Triangle of 9-11. Well, it is a little weird that they were the first truck there. That is true. It's almost like he was too ready to go. Yeah, it's the old Irish hello, huh?

10:06Yeah. Yeah, that's the Irish part, I think. Oh, man, he's a handsome guy. What was he like? He was fucking hilarious, man. He was, my memories are, you know, few and far between because I was seven. But I just remember laughing a lot, him being pretty jacked and smoking a lot of cigarettes and driving a Subaru Impreza. That's all I remember. Ooh. Always had a big smile on his face. But my favorite thing is, I don't know if you have, I'm sure you do. people come to your shows and they're like i knew i don't know your dad or i knew i know your cousin or whatever a lot of people lie to me about that just to come backstage because they because they know i can't be like right you know sure or whatever but i don't want to hear about of course you want to hear a story about your day of course i could always tell who is telling the truth because the second they start talking they have this big smile and their eyes kind of light up and uh they call him scotty which is what his friends call him so i always could tell and uh everything i hear is always really sweet so i'm sure they like keep the horrible things away yeah scotty met on the jets yeah he did he's a big jets fan oh yeah but you you lost your pops you were young too right yeah i was 16 my dad died he was just older though but i think like yeah just yeah i mean losing your dad when you're a kid is kind of tough i think it's obviously it's tough i think it's it is funny as you get older you want to know the different stuff about him you know yeah like was he a pervert yeah what do you like because it's still more information you know like did he sleep in his car or whatever you know like what did he do you know for fun i think it's worse at your age though because you could fully understand the scope of what happened and you're at such a pivotal age in your life where you're growing and becoming a man i was really young so i didn't even really know what the fuck happened and it hit me later like when i was in college i was like oh i'm pretty angry about this like it it'll show up more and more as i get older because you understand like that's really sad to happen to a kid but i feel like your age and forgive me if i'm wrong but like that's like that's like visceral that's that's some tough shit yeah i think you know my dad was so old my dad was set you know my dad was born in 1910 he was an old man and so what he was 70 when i was born so he was 86 at that time right holy shit so it wasn't like i had like this you know uh dad that had this energy and you know i had this kind of dad that was like a sleeping in the distance a lot or like you know all inadvertently causing shit to have like falling asleep in the carpool he'd come picking up and he fucking dozed off out there you know and uh and he my dad had this he was always buying cars off these brothers that lived around the corner right and so he had one time he had this cutlass that had some 22s in the trunk some fucking bangers in that bitch and he would just listen to like uh rush limbaugh and shit like with both bass cranked up oh bro and like uh it would be like all harvey and just like these old commentators and he would fucking just doze off in his car and whenever he dozed off as he was old his eyes would like leak and they're just like water kind of pour out of you're getting old you know your gaskets get bad and so he was just fucking just shedding water weight and i was just fucking like what is going on so you were a little prepared you were a little prepared i was prepared that things weren't gonna go well right you know so my dad kind of was like a driving 9-11 he like kind of pulls up in his own little like i would have been awesome if that we got to put my dad's car behind that fire truck superimpose your dad's car in there yeah he was always a 9-11 dude every time he came in and suddenly you'd have to get his fucking car doors didn't work get a climb in the fucking wind everything was a fucking nightmare with him and the teachers would always look at you like don't get in there right with your dad yeah but that's your parent picking you up like but then there's little things like did you have some nice mementos of his uh i have actually i have his uh his wedding ring that i wear all the time and i have uh his um it's actually super fucked up but i have his uh badge like his chain his badge and and they found that's how they you know because everybody was pretty burnt up so that's how they knew it was him and uh i have it and i just keep it in a safe because like with my luck i'll lose that shit but um i have like a couple of those things and i have uh his uh his fire his like jacket and like other set of pants and i i put them like on the wall i like framed them but then i put them i took them down though because like sometimes i'll be feeling good and then i'll see that and i'll be like oh yeah you know it's like a weird it's a weird thing i remember my mom has it's like everywhere you look it's like you know my dad like and it's fucking it's kind of on a condom hey that's a lot it's sorry that's crazy i was just trying to make you laugh no it did make me laugh but it's kind of haunting where you're just It's like I would like to operate if I want to go down memory lane.

15:09Right. I can. But like, just like have your dad staring at you everywhere. You don't want memory lane just hanging out on the wall being like, hey, do a lap, you know? Yeah. Yeah. Oh, wow. Do you have any stuff for your dad's? Do you have the speakers? No. What do we have? We have, I have his passport for whenever he moved to the U.S. Where's he from? He's from Nicaragua. He came down here when I think he was like, let me see, I guess he was 12 or whatever. That's wild. It was pretty wild. I don't know anyone from there. That's crazy. I don't know either. I don't know it's like a real place. It's crazy.

15:43It's like a place you live on MySpace when you're in high school. Oh, Nicaragua? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, or Schenectady, New York. Oh, yeah. Kalamazoo, Michigan. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Dude, I remember when I saw Kalamazoo in the airport one time, people were going there one day. I couldn't even fucking believe it. I thought they were like traveling in with them Dr. Seuss novel or something. I was like, tell Cindy Lou who? I said, what's up, huh? How old is she? You feel me? BLM, dude. um but yeah i think as you get older stuff like that's interesting were you able to find pieces of fatherhood and other men as you got older yeah i think that's inadvertently what i was doing i wasn't like very conscious like i need to find me a dad you know yeah but but i as i look back you know and that was what was cool about getting into comedy i was 16 so everyone the youngest uh comedian friend i had was like i don't know 29 30.

16:37it was like che de stefano oh that's great you know all those guys yannis nate um soter and like it was all dudes that were older than me that like you know obviously there's not there wasn't a lot of other younger dudes but i really i really looked up to them and like i just see joey i do shows with joey yay all the time he's like in his 50s so most of my friends i find are like you know 40 and up because i think that makes me feel safe and also just like there's this for some form of like big brother sort of thing and yeah somebody looking out for you but also when you go through a tragedy that young like your brain is older like i always felt like um i was older um like in school where like when that happened you know kids would be like you want to like have a pool party i'm like no like yeah i want to smoke cigarettes and cry like i'm that's yeah it's like it's not that that like innocence is kind of taken away really fast and that's why i got into stand-up i'd watch you know burr and chapelle and um you know rodney's my favorite so i think that's why i like veered towards laughing a lot yeah yeah i'm just a sad dude like i feel like most of us are pretty were you a pretty sad dude you think yeah i think there's you always get pigeonholed as this not sad dude i think yeah i'm like what the fuck guys i'm like i'm for everybody's always like oh that guy just and that's where some of the hatred comes he just he guys i don't give a fuck attitude i'm like no i'm i'm miserable i i want to be that dude too all the dude you guys are talking about i want to be him i don't even know that guy i look at pictures i'm like who is this guy that everybody's talking about you know like it's not me um but yeah i grew up super duper uh sad i there's my mom shows pictures you could always tell what pictures of me when i'm little before and after my dad passed because the eyes are different oh like the eyes are just like sad the eyes have it that's what they say yeah damn i feel like you're people think you must be like the happiest silly dude ever but I feel like you have some layers.

18:52Oh, yeah, dude. I'd like to be in a wheelchair a lot of times. Just because? Just to fucking show them. I'll show them. That's my attitude. Show other dudes in wheelchairs? I'll fucking take that bitch right out into a fucking interstate. I'll show them. Hit me. I'll go to heaven right now, motherfucker. Do you ever play truth or not truth or dare, but like kind of rush roulette with yourself where you're like, if I die this way, I'm supposed to? Ooh, let me think about that. like where i got a motorcycle for a little bit and you did just for a bit and then i got into an accident why just for a bit so so i it was kind of like uh if i go this way like i don't i was young i was like i don't give a fuck like i'm rock and roll dude but then i didn't realize like you can get in a motorcycle accident and it not be your fault like i didn't realize you can get hit by other cars oh yeah yeah you don't think about that i don't think about it you're just It's like it's all in my control.

19:45But some dude clipped me, and then the bike kind of fell on me. It was pretty mid, but I was like, oh, you could. It was enough. Yeah, I don't want to die by someone else. I want to do it. Right. Well, yeah. Yeah, I want to go out on my shit. Yeah, motherfucker. Yeah. I'll die, bitch. Watch me. Yeah. You don't think I'll die? Yeah. Watch. Yeah. Dude, I'll say this. I've had a girlfriend before where I've been like, I knew I should leave her, but I'm like, i'm not leaving her because she'll find somebody that actually likes her yeah yeah that's how fucking much i was like miserable dude you ever have uh sad to even think that one of my rebuttals to a girl leaving me was like you've done so much work you've done so much work on me like it's like you got me ready for someone else like that's that's like not fair right i mean because now i'm just gonna be all this this good with someone else like you taught me so much yeah at He's showing for the graduation.

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23:10Remember, while MoonPay makes buying crypto straightforward, it's essential to do your own research and understand the risks involved. Crypto trading can be volatile, and you could lose your investment. MoonPay is a tool to facilitate your transactions, not a source of financial advice. Trade responsibly. Did you ever get that bad off with your emotions, or were you always able to have some awareness, you think? I'm good now, but I used to dip in that. I was very like, growing up, I wanted to die to be with my dad. Really? Very badly. So I tried to, this is so fucking embarrassing, I get what I said really when you said that also, of course.

23:54No, yeah. But I tried my first time when I was like eight, I tried to like drown myself. And then my mom, like this is so dark, but like found me in the pool seeing what I was trying to do. And then she took me to like a psych ward when I was like eight. So I've struggled with that. And then I kind of got out of it when I first started, I would say right around when I got SNL. uh because i didn't have many friends growing up and it was it was my fault like i've said this before where like i was suffering and i was super weird and i was like uh you know very visibly hurting but you know kids don't know that that's what you're going through they just think you're weird like they don't have this scope of did you feel like a lot of like were like thoughts and stuff were trapped inside of you kind of or what did you feel like you think yeah it was like on a hamster wheel of just like i have because i have ocd and uh you know manic depression so like it's just that's a horrible combo and then you start doing drugs and it's like good luck you know you're a fucking slot machine yeah of depression and the worst stuff um and then uh i i would like revert to that uh when i got sad but then when i started doing stand-up i kind of was like uh i found like a group of weird friends and like uh artists are cool and they they understand like sadness and like a lot of them are like um you know not afraid to talk about that stuff oh yeah you know and i really like i was like oh yeah you know and and then um there's this weird thing i don't know if you've really had this because i know everybody just fucking loves you as they should but i had this thing where like i came out and everyone really rallied behind me it was like oh this kid they look what happened to him as a kid and now he's doing this and that's super cool and it was like all going up and then it flipped and then it was like fuck this dude i don't like this dude he i hate this dude and like we're in the internet age so i'm reading all that shit yeah and then it brought me back to like childhood high school like not fitting in like again low self-worth attached to all that old shit then that shit started to pop back in and then that's where i started like doing drugs and then uh a year and a half ago i was like i was just like i need to want to i need to be okay if not all this goes away like if like it can't be for stand-up it can't be for this movie it can't be for this girl it can't even be for my family like i have to want to be okay otherwise all this shit doesn't work fuck dude when you say that's so scary to me because I don't know if I could ever, like even though I feel like I am, if there's a big part of me, the truth is I don't know how I would feel if I didn't have somebody else's feelings to base it on, you know?

26:47Yeah, it's like - Or if I didn't know how somebody else felt about me to base it on. Yeah, that's how I live. We're people pleasers. 100%. We laugh at me, please. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like watch my movie. Like when I go outside, take a picture, like, you know, and then it - See me, even if you call me a f***ing it or whatever. we can bleep that out yeah or we can just say that he said it yeah but uh anyway at least that's like in the in the context that makes sense yeah yeah yeah only if it's during pride month and you mistook me for one of your best yeah yeah yeah yeah not in like a reg no no i should stand by that okay yeah but but yeah you can't uh but that's a hard that's a hard thing to you're undoing for me it was like you know 25 years of people pleasing and that's why i live you know so i had to like learn how to be okay with this and like also like a year year and a half ago like they were like it's over he's done you know he's a media tab boy that type of shit yeah it was just like there was like articles that were like i smoke crack and live with my mom and i was like i was like all right like maybe part of that like not all of that um it's a two-bedroom It sucks when there's like four things in the article that are wrong, but there's one of them.

28:06You're like, actually, yeah, that's fucking kind of true. But, you know, and I'm in rehab alone reading this, you know, and a lot of my friends, you know, I would say I still have half of them. But a lot of them, it got to a point with my use and like how I was behaving where they were just like, I love you, but like this is too much. Oh, wow. and when that started happening it was started happening with people i was like well i don't give a fuck about you anyway right and then it started happening with like people i really cared about and i was like oh shit like it's me dang you could only go it's everybody else for so long yeah and until you're like okay i get it and then you know and that that was kind of it for me was there a day you kind of turned it in you were like i'm dropping the rock today you know uh where i'm where just like i need to leave or you're just like i'm gonna go definitely get some help like or was there like one conversation that kind of cemented it for you i guess yeah once you start to see like man oh that person is stepping away from me god it must be yeah because it's weird sometimes you want to make your outside you want to make it match kind of how you feel on the inside it's like that's exactly i want you to leave me because i left me so long in my mind everybody left me so fucking long ago that i want i don't if you the fact you're even still around here fucking makes me not even respect you you know yeah in like a sick way you know and there's part of you that's probably like for me i was like calling bluffs almost where i was just like i i i self-sabotage blow up anybody that's ever actually loved me or cared about me has gotten the worst wrath from me yeah you know it's few and far between but when it happens it's fucked up and But this whole, like, fuck you, leave me, like, go ahead, leave me, they started to.

29:50And I was like, oh, shit, you're calling my bluff. And I love you. And I don't want you to go away. And you go into therapy. And you're like, fear of abandonment. You have BPD. This is why, from your childhood, you did this and your grandpa did this and now you're this. So, like, you got to do that sort of work. But, yeah, it got to that point where people I really fucking loved. And also my mom, you know, my mom's the most supportive person in the world. She's a cool lady? The best. I mean, like... What's her name? Amy. Oh, that's a good name. She's the best. Never dated. Oh, she married a fireman, Amy?

30:22Yeah. She's a nurse. Nuh-uh. Yeah, they met each other in grammar school, like super Staten Island. I want to marry a nurse. And my mom, look how cute my mom is. Oh, she's great. She's just a sweet lady. She never dated after my mom, after my dad died. Just raised me and my sister, like, alone and worked hard. And she's been the most supportive ever. And it got to a point where she called me when I was in rehab. And she was like, my biggest fear is that I will turn on the news and see that my son has died. And she's never been like that, like, you know, because she's so supportive and just, you know, wants to always have positivity around.

31:00Yeah. And she already lost something she loved. Exactly. And that fucking that killed me. Yeah. So, like, I was like, all right, you know, can't die until she's dead, at least. Yeah. All right, Amy. Yeah. You got it. Like when that lady says that to you, look at that lady. How are you going to be like, I would have to be a heartless fucking sociopath to not get my shit together, you know? You're like, okay, this is what I need. Yeah. Oh. Good lady. Oh, that's cute, man. Yeah, I'm a lucky guy in that aspect. I have a really like supportive, cool family that has never asked me for anything. And they should.

31:36Like they could. And a lot of them need stuff. Yeah, you bought Colin Joseph's shitty boat. dude you can't fucking get them something dear god can you imagine being one of my family members that's like living check to check and you read that sorry that is so true like i have uh but i've offered to i've offered to help and they just they're like nah like that yeah some people are like that and i love that that's how i think they're here's what i start to realize in my family i think they're joking i think they're joking like they don't want you to be like oh because i'm always like all right but they want you to be like no no no no no i got this yeah yeah dude i think i even just saying that makes me think i gotta help out my family a little bit more that's my staten island brother right there hey there you go he's from staten island too yeah isn't that crazy i mean from a good part clearly we uh yeah obviously it looks a little different A little more island.

32:39Yeah, a little bit. A little less statin. He's the best, man. He's a real good fucking dude. Is he? Oh, he's the best. I only met him one time, and I think he looked so clean, I was just afraid to get to know him. Oh, dude, he's awesome. You guys would get along great. I don't know anyone that doesn't like, you know, when you're like intimidated, or not intimidated, but you're just like, I don't think me and that dude will ever vibe. And then you're like, oh, we love comedy and we're comics. And like, there's that universal thing. So you guys would hit it off great. And it's also fun to hang out with someone that's like polar opposite in most ways.

33:10Oh, that's pretty cool. You know, and we're from the same island. Yeah. But it's like he golfs, you know, and I'm like, what the fuck is that? Yeah. I was like, we have golf clubs in Staten Island? I was like, I had no idea. You know, so. And you're out there doing tours of the Gilgo Beach Killer area. Yeah. So different strokes for different folks. Even the theaters he does have like really nice names. Like I'll look at his tour and I'm like, that sounds nice. All my shit's like, what the fuck is this, Memphis? Oh, it's Burgos, dude. Putting you out there fucking. You're doing an amphitheater out there at the Gilgo Beach.

33:48Killer friggin' section. God. Who's this fella? That's the Gilgo Beach. Oh, gosh. That's your opener in Singapore. Who the fuck that is, dude? You got a rebate from the Port Authority on that one. Rex Herman. Hureman. Rex Hureman. That's the dude that was killing all the hookers, man. That's fucked up. Yeah. That's not cool. How long did you stay? I'm trying to think of different. I probably got to go to a place soon and just get some away. I think I've just, I just can't. Everything's just been, I can barely kind of keep it together every week. Well, you're also one of the most busy people in the world.

34:28I mean, you have like the biggest show out there. And but I don't know if you had this you have this feeling where you're like, well, if I go away at all, stop. Yeah, I just think everything will fall apart. I don't know. You'll be like alone with your thoughts. And like, I think when you work a lot, you don't have time to be like, what am I upset about in my childhood? Like, whatever. Like, you could take as much fucking time as you like. You deserve it. You deserve a nice little kickback. Relax. Do something that makes you happy. What makes you happy? Like, what do you like to do? well i think some of it's funny that i'll thank you though for saying some of that stuff no it's true bro it is true i think it's hard for me to get that it's hard for me to like get that into my system you know and then to want to do it i think like you know i'm kind of married to work like i choose to work like sometimes i think about like i had this girlfriend this really great girl that i was seeing for years and i don't know if we're supposed to stay together or not but sometimes when i think about life or certain things she's kind of the one that i miss it doesn't mean we're supposed to stay together but there was still like a good good enough connection that was very real that it was like man that's her affection is what i miss right right caring about her is kind of what i miss um but i could see myself we'd go out and do stuff and then we'd come back home and i could see how she would see me across the room i'd sit down i'd put my computer on my lap and just start working like doesn't matter if i had 33 seconds it always went to that you know and just just like a couple months ago i started thinking oh man that's what what she must have seen all the time you know right just someone looking up at someone just not there yeah right but but you are there but you're just this is your comfort right it's comfortable it's reliable i know the return yeah i know the rate of return i know you enjoy it yeah i enjoy it it's based even if i fail in it that's fine it's totally on me it's all it there's no room for any i mean there's room for other people in here really but it's definitely you know it's just you put in you get out right um but so i don't know like yeah i think that's something like just like that addiction to work but then i'm getting older i'd like to have a family you know and you're like well i don't know how that's going to happen unless i do some things different and so um that's where i'm like i gotta i think i gotta just you know i don't know but you're sober too right yeah this year this year this year's been a little little i've had a couple tough moments this year this past year has been the toughest year that i've had in a while yeah um i hear that but but like this is like you know drugs for me and smoking weed and you know that that was like those were my friends i never did it to go party or like i was never like hey let's like go fucked up i did it at home pretty much alone and i would just watch family guy just it was like a warm hug warm blanket when you get rid of your friends it's like what's left it's like work nicotine yeah am i supposed to give up those two like it's all i have like i your body needs to appreciate the friends you just let go you know it's it's if you let go of too many things at once like it it's not good for you so it's like i don't know if that's how it is with you but like it's hard to have a healthy relationship with like like my reliabilities right now are like working zen and like working out and taking care of my girl and like hanging out with her that's like that's all i have like if you pull one of those with it's like three left you know i used to have eight things and now it's like so it's tough it's tough yeah i think it's like i do think there's a lot of stuff there where it's like i don't want to probably see some of it you know or i don't really want to feel like if i don't have a some girl to text or a date to plan or something in the distance or some work thing like if i took everything away and i was just with myself how would i feel you know or what would that be like and it would probably be fine but i think it's the fear of right what would that be like it's that it's the hurdle not the other side a lot of times for me you know it's the same thing that comes with like commitment to relationships i had the toughest time committing in relationships i think it's just it's probably fine on the other side right it's just fucking stepping over the hurdle sometimes you think you romanticize the fear a little bit as an out where it's just like in your head you're like no this is what it's gonna be like and then there's like a fear of like i do it and that's not what it's like and then that whole thing is gone does that make sense it's hitting into me like do you think like having that set answer of like well if i do that i won't be able to commit or it's going to go wrong or whatever like you're preventing yourself from even trying to do it oh i see what you're saying because it probably is what you need right like and you can do it and there's almost like a not like you you don't believe in yourself enough does that make sense yeah because that's that's a lot of a lot of my issues are like that yeah where i'm like he p can't do that like i can't i can't oh that's interesting and then i can i like i like prove myself wrong and i'm not who i thought i was oh and that's scary to not be who thought you were yeah because that's the person that i whoever that person is whatever there is of them that's what i've known yes and that's and that you're comfortable in that yeah even if it's traumatic or you're depressed like i was so i'm so afraid to be happy yeah because it's uncomfortable dude there was a time this was like a year ago it's funny you're saying some of this man and thanks for thinking about it with me no of course um yeah the time like a year ago i was thinking uh if i don't want to feel like Like, I don't even know who I'd be if I was happy.

39:56And if I was, I would leave all of these feelings that I've always known so much that are like my best fucking friends, you know? Yeah. And it would be like, I almost didn't even, man, I don't want to go live like that because I'll desert these, whether they're lies or truths, whatever they are. They're probably all in somewhat of cloaks or masks, but I don't want to desert them. I'm so used to being at this party with this other small group of fucking lonely, perverted, gambling a little. Yeah. But, you know, that group that I don't even want to go over there. But still, yeah. So, yeah, I think there's a lot.

40:33There's probably just the fact of even taking time away to sit and have conversations like this or to be in environments where I'm not, like, regulating how I feel with Celsius, which the Amish are using now, I've heard. Dude, that was the best. I don't know if you're recording, but I mentioned before that that dude was awesome. And you said you were in contact with him. Yeah. And my question was, how? Dude, we got to send you over there to see that. I would love to hang with that, dude. Sometimes, like, I don't know. When I watched it, one, I thought it was really cool you did that because you switch it up.

41:10You'll have like an Oscar actor, then an athlete, then like this Amish kid. but it made me like appreciative for like what i get to do and what we get to do and what we some things i take for granted oh yeah when he was just like stoked to like getting a corvette with like two chicks and he's like that was like my whole life and i'm like oh it was pretty fast yeah press the pedal yeah so it made me super reflective like and like one I thought he was adorable yeah he's nice yeah nice and like uh very honest and earnest but I also was just like man I gotta stop stop like taking shit like that for granted yeah I think a lot of that just comes into gratitude you know and having that if we can mask if we can just try to get that as part of our days you know I struggle with that but I think that's it too you know your serotonin must be so fuck like you're operating at such a crazy level dude you're interviewing the fucking president like you get to do shit uh every day that is someone's like if i get to do that once in my life like that's my whole life yeah you're living that every day so it's like that the crash is it's hard well you too man i mean at least you got to date a lot of beautiful women i got stuck just interviewing the president this amish kid i trade i trade dude i trade i'm not trading him.