#625 - Matthew McConaughey

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31:59It's a unified suite that brings your financials, inventory, commerce, HR, and CRM into a single source of truth. Whether your company earns millions or even hundreds of millions, NetSuite helps you stay ahead of the pack. If I needed this product for my business, it's what I'd use. right now get our free business guide demystifying ai at netsuite.com slash theo the guide is free for you at netsuite.com slash t-h-e-o that's n-e-t-s-u-i-t-e.com slash theo yeah i mean it's all like having some awareness about yourself but try not to be too crazy where you're sitting there just thinking about yourself all the time yeah it's all like it's all pretty fascinating man i mean and there's a lot of good stuff in this book i'm trying to think of some of the parts that i really liked you write that courage is often one more step in the right direction yeah yeah and you talk about that in marriage faith um and character yeah and uh and yeah i thought that that was pretty interesting because um yeah there's times where i stall yeah that's where i stall sometimes i stall with that like i don't know what this is going to be like i don't know what this is going to feel like i already don't like the feeling of this right it happens to me a lot with like commitment and relationships and stuff it happens to me a lot and like try not to control the outcome um of of like even a moment right like god i just you know to have a little bit of courage there to be like, let's see what this...

33:39Right. What would one step more take me? Deeper into debt? Or am I going to power through and get to the other side and go, oh, okay, I stuck with it. Now I see it. Now I see the light. I like this. It's a really interesting measurement. I think we always got to do, man. I mean, I try to measure like there's... Remember the no fear? I was always like, what do you mean no fear? oh yeah there's a lot of stuff I fear there's a lot of stuff I think we all should fear it's what things do we go no I'm but I'm gonna have the courage to go I'm overcoming that fear but there's good and there's bad fears meaning like if I'm reading the script and I kinda like the script but man I'm not sure about the director and his financing doesn't have enough money behind it can we really make this a good movie and I'm not gonna be I'm kinda scared of that I think maybe okay maybe that's a healthy fear you got there McConaughey because the pedigree around it may not be as excellent as you want it to be.

34:38There's other times, I don't say, where you see a character, and man, I like the director's on it, man. We got good financing behind us. Production value's gonna be good. The script's damn good. And I'm looking at this character going, I am scared shitless about, how am I gonna pull this off? Well, okay. I would subscribe that maybe that's a good fear that I need to dive in and go, well, let's go find out. But don't back off of that one because that one, and then I'll see the movie two years later. I'm like, oh, it was great. And look at that part that that other guy got to play. And then I'm kicking myself going, you didn't have the huevos and the will to go sit there and go find out?

35:15McConaughey, come on, man. You know what I mean? So it's measuring the good ones and the bad ones. You say you got a bad feeling if you already have a bad feeling. Look, I do think this, man, my brother Rooster says this. He goes, man, if everybody only did what they love to do, there'd be a whole lot of unemployment. You know what I mean? I mean, sometimes it does suck, and you've got to do some hard things. You're like, man, I'm not, this doesn't feel right. Now, does it not feel right, or do we just not like it? A lot of things I've got to do that we've got to do that we don't like to do to get to the other side and go, well, you know, especially as we get older and we've got things that we've invested in, family and friends and relationships around the world.

35:57Those are some fires that we've been putting logs on for a while, and it can be hard sometimes to sit there and keep tending those fires or keep tending those gardens we're talking about right on our own soul but you sit there and you go i believe that if i do the hard work now and break this sweat and draw some blood to make this work which sucks i'm gonna get to the other side it's a sacrifice i'm willing to take to get to the other side and go oh there we go all right there we go now i can sleep better now i can wake up going yep i'm still connected to what i was what i created in the past for myself i did the next right thing for myself and it sucked but damn it that's right there where i could have backed off and retreated i could have i could have said oh i smell smoke gonna be fire well sometimes it's like no it's smoke maybe go put out the damn fire before it turns into one yeah that's what i mean or let's procure this fire a little bit make a little bit of barbecue for the future yeah you know what i mean yeah i do well i think also it's like it creates linchpins in your life like some of those things you're saying like um even like with family and stuff and being willing to do that right and and be like, okay, this is a project that my wife and I, my partner and I, are going to create together.

37:00You know, did you have fears about like that at certain points in your life of like starting a family and committing to that and doing that? Was that kind of tough? So, look, the one thing I always knew I wanted to be was a dad. Eight years old. Good story. So, you know, dad had introduced me to a lot of his male friends through life. And, you know, shake their hand, look them in the eye, nice to meet you, sir. Sir, sir, sir was a big thing. in our family. And I remember I was eight years old. We were in an Oak Forest Country Club parking lot. Hello, Longview, Texas. And I met these two men. They were both in black slacks, white shirts, and black jackets.

37:40And one of them had shades on. And as I was shaking their hands, I remember the sunlight was behind me. It was kind of in my eyes. I was like, nice to meet you, sir. Nice to meet you, sir. It hit me in my eight-year-old mind at that time that, oh, and they were talking about, they started talking about their own children. And it hit me in my eight-year-old mind that, oh, all the people I've shaken, all that my dad's introduced to, that I shook their hands and said, sir, to were fathers. And in my eight-year-old mind, I went, oh, that's how you succeed in life. And it, you know, whether I'm out of propter, that was the meaning I gave it, it stuck with me.

38:15And it was always been my measurement of what successful life would be as a man to become a father. and then help raise kids. So I knew I always wanted to be a father. Now, then you get to, can you, you know, meet a woman that you're in love with and that, you know, is going to be a great mother, you know, to them. I fortunately met that woman in Camilla. So, but we didn't get married right off the bat. We were, and maybe this is because my mom and dad were married three times, divorced twice, and her mom and dad were married two times and divorced three times. Dang, gosh. So we had a track record for a reason to go like, That's a lot of math and jewelry.

38:58Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, a whole lot. Yeah. So we're rolling along, man, and saying it's going great, and we don't want to get married because that's just what you're supposed to do. I don't want to back into it because someone goes legally, it's wrong, but no, bullshit. I want to want to. And I didn't really want to. I wasn't against it, but her and I were like, we're doing good. We have our first child. Or let me go back to nine months before we have a first shot. I come home and there's cheeseburgers she's cooking on the grill. I smell them. She pours me a double of my favorite tequila. I sit down and she gives me a gift.

39:31I open it up. It's the, what do you call it? The sonogram, whatever gram that is where you see in the belly, you got a baby and a fetus. She's pregnant. Oh, my gosh. Cry, tears. We hug it out. Oh, my God. This is so awesome, et cetera, et cetera. Let's call my mom. Tell her the good news. I get my phone out. Call mom. Camilla's sitting next to me. Mom, you there? We got some great news to tell you. Got you on speakerphone. Can you hear? Camilla is here. Hi, Camilla. Hi, Miss McConaughey. How are you? Mom, you there? You got to meet? Yeah, yeah, I'm listening. I can't wait. Tell me, tell me, tell me.

40:01Mom, Camilla's pregnant. Crickets. Our next thing here is, no, no, no, no, no, Matthew. This is out of order. I didn't raise you to do this. No. oh, Matthew, you're supposed to be married and went on and on and on in a five-minute monologue and then hung up. And I stop, I look over at Camille, and she looks at me, and we're like, oh, shit, that didn't go the way it would. I hoped it would. And so, you know, let's top off that drink. That burger's cold now. You know what I mean? Woo, okay. Ten minutes later, the phone rings. It's my mom. Yeah, I have mom. She goes, hi, Matthew. Mom, speak your phone.

40:49I can put you on speakerphone. Is Camilla there? Yeah, she's right. Hey, Ms. McConaughey. Okay, can y 'all both hear me? Yeah, we hear you, Mom. We hear you, Ms. McConaughey. Okay. I would like to put some white out over that last. I was being selfish thinking about myself. If you two are happy about it, I should be happy for you. It was not my place to be unhappy. So we had two children before we got married. But yeah, I mean, look, the big project, you know as far as i can tell the one that's non-negotiable that's the thing can we find non-negotiable projects there we go nope when i'm lost and don't know what the hell i'm doing or i'm looking for my north star what are some things in our life that we can look at and go if i concentrate on that i can't go wrong sometimes that's just it like i still have it now maybe i don't know what new things i want to do and when i'm kind of lost and wobbly I'll try to look at the things that I go like family like fatherhood like the marriage and go if you work on that McConaughey you can't bogey you may not eagle the hole but you're not going to bogey and you definitely ain't going to hit one out of bounds you can't spend too much time on that in your spare time and then that will help you spiritually heart and head and so I try to go to the non-negotiables when I'm like and then when things are going well that's another thing i love to accomplish it man i love to go work and i'm going all of a sudden i'm hitting the road i'm all over the place how do i keep my marriage and my fatherhood out of the debit section yeah how do i you know because i don't have the the time as much time that's another challenge when things are going well personally you know to take care of those non-negotiables yeah yeah i mean i think a lot like if i don't know what to do, I try and, yeah, like, it's always like help others, you know?

42:37Like, that's the thing, like, that's probably been the thing that's been most helpful in my life. If I don't know what to do whenever, you know, it's trying to help others. Think of somebody else, call somebody else, see what they're doing, get out of myself. Yeah, heard, heard. There's like that prayer. It's like, God, I offer myself to thee to build with me and do with me as I will. Relieve me of the bondage of self and take away my difficulties so that, like, I don't remember the end of it right now. Leave me of the bondage to myself. Leave me of it, off it. Third step prayer it is. Yeah. Offer myself to thee to build with me and do with me as I will.

43:16Relieve me of the bondage of self that I may better do thy will. That's it. There we go. So it's just like, yeah, God, my problem is me right now. I'm just so, I'm sitting here, I'm just, I'm breaking myself up and putting myself into a joint and smoking myself. You know what I'm saying? Right, right. I'm just getting high on my, you know, something here. And it can be a low point or a high point though. That's the thing. Sometimes I think it's like, you know, I've thought it's just the lows, but it's like, even if I get too high on myself, it's like, that's not good either, you know? Well, it keeps our pursuit, not about that.

43:44It's talking to the God, godliness within us, the more God likeness in us that we can be, that a lot of us are striving to be. That pursuit is such a valuable pursuit, you know, religious or not. you know a connection to a creator yeah to not feel higher right that you're not gonna reach but you're going i mean otherwise i would feel so homeless if i don't want my soul to feel homeless you know there's a lot of people's that feel very homeless well you talk about just like your own like times of faith and like how hard it you know it's tough to um to keep that connection going you know and to work on it more it's tough maintenance doesn't it yeah it takes a lot of maintenance, man.

44:26That's probably my biggest. That's where my ego will get out of control, where all of a sudden I start, I take for granted that I didn't just pull it all off of my own. And I start thinking I did. And I do the math and go, I mean, I did. And all of a sudden it's like, oh, here comes humble pie pretty soon. Oh yeah. I mean, that's a tough thing. I mean, having a relationship with, um, having a relationship with our creator and giving ourselves, like saying God, you know, giving thanks, getting a good perspective for ourselves. Um, have you, has there been practices that you've used realistically over the years?

45:00I'm sure once you have a family and stuff like that, some of that starts to maybe get more built into you. Um, but just because it's, there's a vision, there's a, there's an actual component that's right there alive. Yeah. But have you noticed for yourself, um, uh. There's a, having, having kiddos is in some ways are how we. become immortal if we're fortunate enough for them to outlive us. Yeah. And if we're fortunate enough for them to have kids and pass on a lineage. It's like you first have a kid, you're like, I have helped create a being that is outside of myself, but my blood is in them. Yeah.

45:41It's a certain way to immortality. And I don't mean in the religious sense of, oh, if you live this way, you live forever, because you get to the gates and the kingdom of heaven. Yeah. But it is a mortal way of going, no, just kind of science, evolutionary-wise, it's a way to become immortal. And I find there's a great power in that and a great freedom and responsibility that comes with that because you're shepherding your future self through your child or what you're, you know, for 18 years, so to speak, generally in the household before they go off into the world. So you're taking care of yourself.

46:17Right, in a weird way. Like a chunk of yourself. By taking care of your... It's our greatest children. It's the greatest export, and it is the most closest thing, piece of art in the world that we'll ever put out. Yeah. You know? Yeah, that's pretty fascinating. Yeah. Do you and your family, do you have any traditions that really mean a lot to you guys that you have felt like have helped you establish more of a sense, like a familiar sense, like a team sense kind of? Yeah, I mean, my wife's better than my family ever was on the actual rituals. I mean, my family's like, everyone come over for Thanksgiving.

46:56We're going, and it's like swing by the pit and get some food while you're dead, and we're going to sit down. Well, not unless everybody wants to sit down. My wife's more like, no, I'm setting the table, and we're sitting down and doing this, and we're going to say prayers before, and everyone's going to go around. That's one of the things we like to do. Call it around the horn. Everybody, before we eat, share something out loud, something you're thankful for. Yeah. Share it up. And at very least out there, it at least makes the food taste better. Yeah. You know, at least. But it also is a great conversation starter because you'll say things, and a lot of people don't like to share them out loud.

47:33And it'll start a conversation with somebody that you didn't know. Why did you say you're thankful for that thing? Oh, I didn't know your grandmother just got out of the hospital. Oh, I didn't know that you did good on that test last Tuesday, and you're thankful for that. and it's a great way to get a conversation started. We practice that. We are...

47:55We have dinner each night. It's a small ritual, but in our busy worlds of today... It's huge. To have that down and everyone comes in and you hear a little bit about the day and it's kind of like the team gets together. And I was talking to my kids. We were talking to kids about it the other day. You know, I was like, look, talk about these bonfires we have. Our family, we're calling it a bonfire, not a campfire. Bonfire, boys and girls, let's go, man. This is non-negotiable. We created it. We're on our way. We think we're doing all right. Let's keep putting log wood on this fire. But you three kiddos, you're responsible for going and chopping wood here, too, and bringing the log back to the fire.

48:34It's not just me and your mama that are doing that. It takes, it's talking about back to sports. We were in the very beginning. It's a team effort here. Yeah. Y 'all got to start adding that. Yeah. And have the confidence yourself that you do have a log to add to this fire. Right. I think encouraging kids to think and feel like that, it's important, you know, because kids don't know how to think and feel. I think there's like this understanding that people just know what feelings are and what's happening and like what their responsibility is as a brother or a son. It's like a lot of that stuff has to really be kind of instilled, I think.

49:08I think you're right because I'm guilty of giving the Cliff Notes version of things to a kid sometimes where they're like, I think it's like, well, duh. You understand that. You know what I mean? Like little things, man. Hey, how do you wipe your butt? You know what I mean? What's deodorant for? You know what I mean? Little things you're like, well, duh. And like, no. You're wiping your butt with deodorant. It's going to burn. How would I know? You know, things you got to let them know. yeah there's that extra step a lot of times and I think we think that kids are just adults or they saw it somewhere they picked it up because that's the other thing you do find out a lot of things that they did pick up that you didn't know they knew right and then you start to be like oh well and you try to help many when they're like I already know this so it's like probably a little catch but there's a whole lot of things that yeah they don't know you know we it's in our frame one of the things is when are the kids ready for this type of movie?

50:09Yeah. Or PG or an R or something. And I'm just, and what content is in there? I just don't want, there's some certain things in life about love, about violence, about all the ways of the world that I don't necessarily want my kids to get it from an outside piece of entertainment before they have a context of understanding it from me and their mother. For sure. Like, let them understand it first before seeing it for the first time. And their emotions are going all over the place for pleasure or pain, but they don't know what it all means. Right. Or does that happen? Well, for sure. So I want the context coming from their mom and dad first so they can then see it and go, I understand.

50:59That was realistically, however realistically that was done and how that affected me but i understand the context yeah of what that scene i just saw or and that's why i try to hold back certain content you know oh i think from the kids to have just an understanding of the reality so you can at least appreciate it but know that that's fiction right yeah you got to be a keeper you got to be a keeper you know you're you're the you're running the kennel you know when you're doing that you know if i could go back in time, one thing I would start to do would be to start saving my money a little bit earlier.

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56:07I hope to have a family. But he just like, I'm like, and I'm in there sweating, dying, basically trying to look okay, you know. And sorry I wear a towel like that. I was raised by a single mom. Oh, this is you over on the right? Yeah. Is this post-Peppermint? It's post-Peppermint, yeah. But I mean, Lane is crazy though, dude. He has these weird rituals and stuff in there, and he'll like bounce a golf ball. It's like people, it's like dead, and he'll bounce a golf ball across the... He's just doing bizarre stuff in there. Does he have a method to it? Is he doing it for... It is. It's this... I can't...

56:43It's like he's some sweat molyer or something, you know? I don't know what he's doing, but it's just amazing over there. But he just always likes to be involved and causing, having an effect, right? So that's what I noticed about him, and it's interesting, and it's fascinating. Is he a trickster, or is he a sort of... As you said, he's just going to throw in some color commentary on the situation. He's going to give a different color. He's very colorful. Okay. And so, but he's got a big card. He like, he'll make sure that everything's taken care of. He's on top of everything. Yeah. Right. But I think he likes to be very colorful and stuff, but we had a great time over there.

57:19Anyway, this was just an experience that we had where he goes to this yoga class every single day and, uh, and he never misses. And it was just, uh, yeah, it was a great experience. I mean, I had to lay down for a little while and some girl was like, do you need CPR? And I'm like, no, I don't fucking need CP. far okay just taking a rest yeah i'm just taking a rest with my eyes closed and you look like you went through it man you you look like well i was laying there like this for a little while because i wasn't doing really good um and uh yeah my i did i didn't black out but i like light browned out or whatever but it was like i'm fine but um anyway yeah but it was just fascinating over there man just to be over there and we got to walk through the uh like the the walk that they do up to the stadium, and that was pretty crazy.

58:01I mean, yeah, they're just... That fan base is pretty rabid. I didn't realize how special it was over there in Oxford. I didn't realize. They got it going on right now, man. Yeah, they got it going on. I think they're going to make the CFP. I'm hoping Vanderbilt makes it in. I don't think that they're going to. Well, what did y 'all... Y 'all lost two? We lost two, yeah. To us and to... Alabama. Alabama. All right, that ain't... But they need a big win, you know. We need a big win. Who do you got left? We still have Tennessee. We have Kentucky next weekend, and then we have Tennessee. All right.

58:29You clear those two with a two-loss season, you're most likely in. Well, look, we just have Sanford Stadium down in Georgia. Got it handed to us. You were down there at the UGA. What's that like over there at that Athens? I've never been between the hedges. It was? I had never heard Sanford Stadium between the hedges as being like one of the places. Whoa, it's really hard. Oh, yeah, man. Was it 90 ,000? and those fans are in unison, man. And they had, I tell you what, I get to measure stadiums, right, when I go to them. Like, what's the fan base? Oh, yeah, it's amazing. How happy are they that I'm there compared to how much are they like, F you, McConaughey, we're going to get did, you know what I mean?

59:19And this crowd was loud from the beginning, especially that first half, and then the second half when they started to boat roll, they were still really that. But they were one of the higher decibels that I've heard. But they were continuous is the thing, especially any time that we were on offense. Because you get crowds that are in unison. They know the chance. Auburn does a good job of that, being in unison. They have their chance. It's a big thing. You can have 30 ,000 more people, but if the rituals and the cheers aren't in unison, it's not as intimidating. At all. And yeah, they were happy I was there, but they were also giving me straight horns down and going, we're going to whip your tonight.

1:00:03You know what I mean? So it was a good, it was a good, it was a healthy hate they had. I love that. You know what I mean? Because I've been to some, some visiting. And they get a little edgy? Oh, no, I got some, and I won't say their names on that. I got some that, dude, I'm dodging loogies. Yeah, you're dodging those tomatoes you were throwing at her, Sean. And they're like, here we go. Okay. And I've been to others. They're like, time to kill us now, buddy. Whatever. And then I've been to somewhere. It's like they're too happy. They're too nice to me. I'm like, uh-oh, y 'all are in trouble. Dude, how great is it, though?

1:00:42Is there anything better than being a college football fan? I don't know if there is. It's great. And the SEC is one of the best forms of tribalism in the world. I love hearing that. I think I agree with you. I didn't know. I toured so much I'd never gotten to have the fall off. So the past, I've been in nine games this year, I think, from different stadiums. Probably five of them were at Vanderbilt Stadium. But it's just been amazing, dude, like to go to Alabama, to go to Virginia Tech, to go, we're going to go to Neyland in a week or two, to be at Ole Miss yesterday. You had us to see some of it and just that, like, what it's about for them in those places.

1:01:22Yeah. Well, and Athens, that's basically just college town. And the fans were great. And they were loud and they were rabid. But to go, one of the things I love about being in the SEC, I can't wait to go. Been in Tuscaloosa. I can't wait to go to Death Valley LSU on a night game when we go there. Because I've only been there once and they played Vanderbilt when Vanderbilt was a doormat. Not to Vanderbilt now. And so that was a good experience, but that wasn't a great Death Valley experience. I still, I can't wait to get over to Tennessee. That's a beautiful place. That I think might be the most beautiful place to see a game is that Neyland Stadium.

1:02:04But I haven't been to see a game at Austin. I want to go see that. I know that Rogan and Tony Hinchcliffe went one time. You might have went to that same game that they went to. I've been to most of them. I'm over there on the sidelines. That's so cool, man. Yeah. Yeah, I just feel lucky to, first of all, even just get to be around some of the teams, to be that close to like that energy that young if you stay around young people it just keeps you young it's like there's something that's like um i don't know it's just it's energy that's how energy works and i've i've still have to remind myself how young these young men are yeah you know and that you know it's like because they're so damn big you know and then you look and you go oh you're 18 yeah 18 when was that you know gotta go back and do the math you know what i mean yeah you can't even figure it out because i'm down there and i'm feeling like i was at college ut just just a few years ago well a few multiplied times a nice size number yeah but it seems like it was the other day you know i know it does man but that's what's kind of nice about it too is the connectivity of that that there's something special about when you get around certain things that it it's undeniable that it's nice that it feels not that long ago in a way yeah it is And again, on the SEC, man, I was talking to Sanky about this the other night.

1:03:19They're the only conference that wants to fight absolutely draw blood like brothers on a Saturday night when you're in the game, but after the game. we're the SEC. Yeah. And the only conference that you go to, and if you beat an SEC team, beats another team from any, that's outside of the SEC conference, yeah, they may chant their name, tag LSU. Right. But they also chant SEC, SEC. They do love it. Nobody else does that, man. I used to get upset with my friends that would cheer on other SEC teams if our team was out of it, right? Right. But now I get it. That's it. Now I get it. It's like, this is the conference.

1:04:06That's why I kind of, look, I backhanded, you know, I got it when OU beats Alabama, like they did. I get a little, oh, there we go. Even when A &M came back from down 33 against South Carolina, I'm like, there we go. Because we're the old Southwest Converse, the old Big 12. I'm rooting for them to go like, and I also, I'm a Texas fan who wants our two biggest rivals, those Aggies and OU traditionally. I want them to be undefeated when we play them. You know what I mean? We usually play OU around the, I don't know, fifth game of the season. Fourth, fifth. I always want OU to be undefeated. And I want us to be undefeated.

1:04:46And then I want to beat them. Yeah. Beat them. And I want A &M. We play A &M the last game of the year. So it's still coming up. It's two weeks from now. Let's go. Or say in whatever weekend it is. I don't know when this comes out. But I want them to be undefeated. Hell yeah. When we beat them is what I want. You know what I mean? I mean, that's... Yeah. Well, I always cheer for the underdog, man. I find I always cheer for the underdog. That's one thing I loved about Vanderbilt this year. They've always been the underdog. Yeah. Pavi is great. They have so many great guys. Every guy over there has been...

1:05:15I met Pavi. He came up and said, howdy after the game. Oh, he did? In Austin. Oh, that's awesome. He's a great guy, man. He's great, man. And he's an underdog. He's just been the underdog the whole time. I was like, man, congratulations on what you've done. Keep doing it, man. Y 'all got it rolling. And yeah, and what Lee's done with that. Yeah, because look, there's a lot of players on there that a lot of these teams we're talking about didn't necessarily sniff them. Oh, yeah. Because they would have been on a different team. Yeah, but look what they've done. Again, back to psychology. Yeah. That's a mental edge.

1:05:49And the power you can get from believing you're an underdog or that the world saying you're an underdog fuels you instead of makes you cower. going, oh yeah, watch this. But to believe that is different than to say that. Like we've seen plenty of teams that are cocky. Right, yeah. And you're like, not to get into the ego side of it. You ain't gonna, you know. Oh, you just laid a big hit on that running back and there's three minutes left in the fourth and you're 17 down. I wouldn't be doing a dance here, Ponce. Yeah. Did you see a scoreboard? You know what I mean? Or the want to, the come out is what Moore was saying or who was it, Mike saying, well, I got one to win the game.

1:06:31Didn't want to play like it. You can see, you know, you want, there's a certain swagger that you're like, are you playing the part or do you believe? Right. Again, are you looking at the jumbotron and acting like what you think you should act like? Or do you believe that? And is that dance you're doing coming from? Yeah. From you. That's me. That's how I feel. Difference. Dude, we had, there was a funny, the other night I was somewhere and there It was like a, I think a Titans, one of the Titans kind of brass. And they had a, like one of their upper people was, and Pavia was there. It was some dinner thing we were at.

1:07:05And I said, oh, have you guys thought about drafting Diego? You know? And the guy goes, well, he's a little small for us. You know? We kind of, we like, like this is one of our guys. There was a player there and he pointed at a guy. And he's like, that guy's 6 '7". Yeah. And I was like, that guy's 1 '7". Right. I was like, Diego Pavia is 8-2 right now. I hear you. And I know it's different. No, I hear you. But for me, it's like, if I'm a team in a city, I would get a player that everybody loves that played in that college. I don't understand why pro teams don't do that a little bit more. Well, they do.

1:07:38The Saints have been the best at it historically. Drafting local, keeping it in Louisiana. So that Superdome is full of people going, yo, who drove my cut, you know? Oh, that's a good point. Look, I don't know how much that really works in the pros because it's a new singular brand business. I'm with you. I like the sentiment of let's keep the home cook them going right here. I think that's how I think. I like that kind of stuff. Are you still teaching? Were you teaching classes at UT? Yeah. I visit. There's a professor that's in there daily, but then I swing in and we'll talk going for three hours at a time because what we do is we break down films and ads that I've done.

1:08:23It's called From Script to Screen, meaning let's see the journey that this book that turned into the first script, that turned into a shooting script, that turned into the movie. Let's see the journey it took to get there because the original screenplay is very different than the final package you see. And so let's show these students, these serious filmmakers about how there's many ways to skin the cat. And so I'll go in and we just break down. We broke down most of my films and then I have the director come in and talk about certain scenes. And it's a badass class. Dude, I've loved it. I used to go perform up at in Huntington, West Virginia all the time.

1:08:59Where you guys shot your Marshall movie. And that was awesome, man. And one time the guy that survived read... Yes, Dawson. He was speaking at the hotel that I was staying at. He was speaking there. When was this? How many years ago? More or less. 16 years ago. 16. 12, 10. So we had done We Are Marshall, which is probably 20 years ago? Might be, yeah. Yeah, so look, I don't want to speak on Red's behalf, but this story I heard, and I hope I'm getting this correct. If I'm not, excuse me. But that, you know, that crash in 1971 with that Thundering Herd team, everyone in Huntington was somehow related to that.

1:09:42Yeah. All right? Whether by blood or by family or by that was the identity of the town, the college at that time. And a lot of people retreated. We showed up to go tell that story, and they were skeptical of Hollywood coming to tell their story for good reason. For sure. Like, which version you, you know, you tell them. Right, you're going to add some elements that are just going to make us look bad. You're going to make us look like that, you know. Well, our director, McGinty, McG, did a really cool thing. He let the whole town know on the paper, hey, anybody can come by the set. Anybody who wants a script, I'll give you the script.

1:10:16Slowly, people started to come around. The script was good. They were like, okay, da-da-da-da-da. And then the movie comes out, and I think there was a bit of catharsis that can happen, meaning I heard that, you know, Red Dawson had been very reclusive and that the time around the film coming out and the story and for other reasons, he started to come back out, watch a game, maybe get a little... Maybe it started behind the fence, then it moved into a bleacher, then it moved into talk. Anyway, you hear stories like that. And not that the film we did was responsible for that, but a part of that that you go, ah, what a cool thing to be a part of and see that can happen, you know?

1:11:00Well, art, that's an interesting thing about art is that something can come out of, something that's nice can come out of this, right? Yeah. Something that still honors it, even if it didn't do the best job. something that earnestly tried to show up and honor this thing. Yeah. Or spend time with it, right? To spend time. Spend time spent on it. Well-intended. Right. Try to tell the truth on it. Ah, they get to then see a representation of some of their experiences on the proverbial jumbotron, but also that can help us get to know ourselves better, especially if you've been locked up and covering that.

1:11:38You know what I mean? Holding those things, yeah. it's crazy some of the things that we hold you know i got into doing like ayahuasca experiences over the past like yeah maybe five six years and that's helped like bring up a lot of old stuff and process it you know yeah that's just been pretty good for me now a lot of that's talking about going back we were talking about ego earlier a lot of that's about get rid of the ego in a way when that's what's what's been your your what would you say has been the best thing most healthy thing for you that those ayahuasca journeys have done for you i would say it's helped me uh process a lot of old pain things that were like kind of weights yeah kind of things that were just like clumped up roots of my past yeah hard mud around them yeah just help that stuff break up okay so it's easy for me to be up here a little bit in my own soil all right and have an experience to grow yeah you heard not be locked we more receptive maybe yeah and not stuck in like a lot of like kind of burned off a lot of like old like low self-worth stuff something started to kind of disappear you know have you had any experiences like that not with ayahuasca um i mean i've had you know my own most of my big sort of breakthroughs spiritually have come on singular journeys that i took by myself to places where they didn't know my name and putting myself in those places, whether it be in Africa or the Amazon and Peru, where everything that I relied on was stripped away or the year I spent in Australia as an exchange student, where all of my conveniences and my talismans of identity, whether it was my name or my nation or my state or my family, they're all stripped away.

1:13:25and I was forced to rely on myself and forced to kind of look up and go, I'm listening. And you know, when that truth comes on you, man, it's like a gentle as a butterfly that strong as a lightning bolt. And you've got some things that hit you sometimes. You go, remember this. When you go back into the world and all that onion starts to get pre-peeled again. You start to take on all these things and play these different parts and get these ideas. Remember this to be, what you understand now, to be a non-negotiable truth. It's like there's an Emerson line about the truth that comes to us in quiet solitude.

1:14:13It makes so much sense, but can we take that amongst the masses? Can we walk into the cathedral, the stadium, with 500 million people and still hold that truth to be ours and true for all time. Wow. You know? Yeah, I think that's something as I get older, that's the thing I admire somebody, something the most, somebody that can have just like a quiet self-confidence, you know, an integrity, you know, that you can tell that's kind of unshakable for them, you know? Well, and it's tough, man, because the world changes. And a lot of times we change by changing with it and adapting. A lot of times we change by staying exactly the same.

1:14:55And all of a sudden we look like an original and you're like, I'm doing the same thing I was doing. I just didn't, I didn't, I just jived when everyone else juked. You know what I mean? Or I just stayed the same while everyone else was juking and jiving. Do you ever feel like that? Like there was a comedy manager one time I was on a plane with him and he said, your audience will evolve, right? Because they'll grow up. But so you have to evolve somewhat, right? But there's a fear. I think especially with comedian stuff, well, this worked. I got to stay, I got to be that person for, you know, that's what I have to be a lot, you know?

1:15:25Yeah, I mean. I don't know if that's like that for actors. I guess it's probably different. No, no, sure, sure. Or you think like this movie style worked for me, that's what I. Or these choices I made. Oh, everyone likes that when I do that. Yeah. That got memed or that got, you know what I mean? I'm not, doesn't mean I'm going to, you know, I'm not saying I'm going to, hey, I did never go, well, make sure you say all right, all right, all right, every scene, every movie. I'm not saying that, you know what I mean? But I'm saying there's certain things you go. Especially if your character's deaf or whatever, or he's like just in a coma and at the very end he's like.

1:15:56Or just a pessimist. So that's what I'm saying. Yeah, yeah. Dude, that would be the best. He's like such a Jack Nicholson. Who's Jack Nicholson in that movie where he's just that pessimist? Anger management, is that it or something? Is that it? And then at the end you just say it. Here's your bumper sticker. No, there's certain things that, you know, you get to, I think we all do. Rock band knows what their encore is, you know. Bruce knows they want to hear Born in the USA. How do you sing that, your proverbial fastball? You know, Clemens knows a hundred mile fastball. Don't mean, does he need to know curves and sinkers?

1:16:37Yeah. But do you forgive your fastball? No, you don't forget your fastball. Of course not. I think you go, but how do you do it? What I try to remind myself is if I know I'm going with something that's a fastball, I go, okay, how do I do it like it's the first time each time? I've always wanted that with, well, probably with comedians. You've got something you know, man, bam, it works. How do you do it like that's the first time? How does a band go out and play that song they played 2 ,000 times, man? How do they get off to it that night? What I've heard is that, oh, you've got a new audience each night, So you're feeding off of them and it's their first time.

1:17:14So you can give it to them like it's the first time. I never even thought about it like that. Yeah. For me, it's just always tricking myself. Laughing. Sometimes laughing seems very present. Yeah. And so things like that. Some modalities I'll do before, like ice, bass, sauna, those types of things to just get your energy. So like at a fun level of being alive and existing that no matter what you're doing seems fun. Yeah. So I think a lot of it is having fun. How much of that? Let's talk about that. how much of doing that, being successful, do you think is enjoying what you're doing when you're doing it?

1:17:49Oh, man. Like how much, if you laugh at a joke, and I think I'm agreeing with you here, is that I've done things where I'm like going, I feel confident enough in it where if it makes me laugh and no one else laughs, I'm going to then think that's funny. Yeah. And that will then probably in turn be funny. well that might just be a good acting i mean yeah that's probably just a really good way to as an actor to be able to like have that shift like okay if this didn't even land the right way then that part of it has been funny um yeah i think as a comedian i don't if i'm taking care of myself and i'm in a good way then it's gonna go good i know i just think it's like they just want to see you having a good time especially these days people are just so like with podcasting and stuff people will get to know you so much they just want to be in the room with you right right they want the material to be good and you want it to be good i don't want you to just you're all there wanting it to be good right and and i wouldn't i wouldn't show up if i didn't think it was at least good enough to bring to you to trade for a fair but uh but a lot of it is just people want to spend time around each other my my greatest mentor lady and penny allen who's since moved on would always say this, you know, and you got a crew making a film.

1:19:02You got 120 people. You got directors, producers. Not everyone agrees on everything, right? And you can get into arguments. And she was like, just remember this, Matthew. She goes, one thing everyone is there for and wants is a good show. You know what I mean? Right, like that's a unifying. You have different ways of getting it, but everyone, no one's there going, I don't want this to be a good show. You all, everyone wants it to be a good show. Dude, in my head, sometimes I'll get in that thing like, oh, I know how to make this, you know, Like that's a part I get stuck sometimes. I want to talk a few minutes more about writing and stuff before you go.

1:19:33Thank you for your time. Sure, man. Poems and Prayers, that's your new book that's out. When did you start writing and who kind of got you into it? I know there's stuff in here from when you were 18, from when you were in high school. That's probably when I started writing longer form poems. And that was a year in Australia where I was one of those times I was lost and wobbly and looking and trying to figure, didn't have friends to rely on, didn't have family to rely on. And so I started, you know, dude, I was losing my mind in a good way. I was writing 16-page letters to myself. Damn. And returning them with a 17-page letter.

1:20:09Wait, bro, what? Yeah, bro. It was a cratic dialogue. I was going, hey, man, we got to entertain ourselves. I ain't got no one else to go to, so let's have this out. And so I, you know. What is strange? I mean, it's cool. It's strange. It's unique. It's strange. It's unique. Sorry. It was hard. No, that's a strange thing too. So what were the letters, were you saying like? Trying to work shit out. Yeah. I was losing my mind. I didn't know what, I didn't have a, I didn't have a compass, man. Everything around me was odd and I didn't know if I agreed with it or disagreed with it or if it was just a cultural difference or if it was bullshit.

1:20:46Just getting to know yourself. And I didn't know where to stand until I got pushed to where I had to make a stand. And boy, when I had to make a stand. Yeah. you know when this host family wanted me to call a mom and pop and i went

1:21:04no that's that i'm i'm not gonna do that i appreciate you thinking of me that way but i still have my mom and dad and i remember at the time why i said this part i do not know but it's like i thought it would ease the blow a little bit i remember saying this i was like no i have a mom and dad and they're still alive yeah i gave them this little context like oh just in case like what the hell does that matter anyway you know and and to make that stand and go no and then call them but say good night and call them by their first names and then wake up the next morning my alarm clock was a screaming woman going he won't call me mom going oh shit and then going to her and going no i won't but i put an arm around her going you know creating some boundaries for yourself figuring it create i had to create a boundary That's it.

1:21:49I was looking. I didn't. I was trying. And so to do that is part of, I think, a big part of identity. And so I started writing. I'd always written since I was probably 12, but I started writing poems and jotting down prayers and things when I was, like I said, lost, wobbly, and looking. But also times where things were going well and I felt spiritually strong and going like, well, what are some habits I got right now? What are some ways I'm seeing the world where the world seems to be? I'm putting this out of my soul and it's music and the world's kind of throwing back the next beat. right at me.

1:22:20And we got a tune going. Yeah. You know? And then I stepped in the ship. Oh, that's part of the tune. Right. You know? They laughed at my joke. Hey, that's part of the tune too. Oh, they were crickets. They didn't laugh. That's still part of the same song. You know? Right. It's all part of the same song. Yeah. Instead of trying to get this old, this song, like just the perfect song, you know, just recognize it's a long song. It's a long song. Yeah. And so, poems and prayers, look, you know, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm trying to sell Sunday morning like a Saturday night. Meaning, there's a lot of good stuff, whether it's you bringing up stuff in the Bible that has a lot of good stuff for living.

1:23:00There's a lot of good things we've learned from mentors and other philosophers and great books and wisdoms of the past that we're told to do. And I know this, no one really likes to be told what to do, most of the time. And we also don't really like to get advice. I don't like getting advice. I tell every director I work with, I tell them right off the bat, I'm easy to work with. Just don't tell me what to do. Right.

1:23:28You know what I mean? Or, and I tell them, even like, find a way to make me think it was my idea. There you go. I don't even know you did it, but don't tell me. And I'll just, well, there you go. That's right. You know what I mean? But if you can put it in a rhyme, if it can have a bit of a ditty to it, if you can dance to it, and it's a good word, it's more fun to digest it. It makes the broccoli taste like candy. Yeah. You know, and you go like, oh, okay, I can have a beer on the way to the temple. Thank you. Yeah. You know what I mean? Right. I mean, I'd rather have a beer on the way to the temple and be headed to the temple than abstain, say I'm abstaining from having a beer, but headed the wrong direction to the desert.

1:24:15Right. Yeah, I never liked taking suggestions. It's always been hard for me, I think. Well, it's tough in your life when things go pretty good sometimes to want to relinquish the wheel, you know? Hell yeah. But at the same time, when things are going well, you're responsible for that. Don't give up the right to believe in that you had your hands on the wheel. When things are going well, we should not be so humble to believe that, oh, it's all just fate. Yeah. I think God wants our hands on the wheel. And I think God's, my hunch is God's going, I got too many people relying on fate. Yeah, that's a good point.

1:24:59Take control of things. When things are going, give yourself the ownership of going, And I did that. It wasn't all me. Right. Other things in the world happened that I'll never understand, timing and fortune and everything. But give ourself credit when we look at them and go, you're partially responsible for that, bud. All right, here we go. Yeah. Yeah, to build some sort of gravity within yourself, you know. And understanding. Yeah. Because it doesn't mean, and understand that there's, the hard part about when we're succeeding, I think, catching green lights, got our hand on the wheel, and we're just smooth and true traffic and life's like this.

1:25:35The hard part is believing, oh, this is how it's going to always be. Oh, yeah. Because it ain't. You'll blow a tire, man. Some goofball's going to run a red light and hit you. You're going to run out of gas. Something's going to go wrong. So there'll be times you don't have your hands on the wheel or you don't know where you're going. So knowing that those times are coming, I think, is another reason to go, well, when my hands are on the wheel and shit's working out, Let's look in the mirror and give myself a little bit of wink here, boss. There you go. Let's turn our favorite music up a little bit.

1:26:05Yeah. Enjoy it a little bit. Yeah. Drop the top. Yeah. At Sierra, discover joyous deals on great gifts for everyone on your list, like cozy slippers, ski gear, fishing poles, bikes, large kayaks, even larger canoes, which might lead to another discovery.

1:26:29Robbing gifts is the only sport you need to stay fit this season. Tis the season to discover great gifts at unexpectedly low prices. Sierra, let's get moving. There's one point he talked about prayer, too, that I thought was pretty cool. Prayer is worship, putting our heart above our head. It's a beautiful sentiment, man. prayer comes from worship which means to literally bow down so we can put our heart above our head. So it's a physical engineered act to listen to our heart. Compassion, kindness, forgiveness, peace above our head. And we live in a world that is all we're told head above heart, man.

1:27:12Make it more quantity, win, however you do it. Head up, look at the Jumbotron. Right. And the humility of putting your heart above your head, literally just physiologically is such a cool image for what that's for. And I don't think a lot of people, I didn't know that that is what prayer is actually engineered for. That's why you bow. You bend a knee and you bow to put your head below your heart and your heart above your head so you can hear the sacred within you. And the sacred's coming from the heart and soul. I'm all for knowledge that we gain in our head and we need knowledge to understand reason.

1:27:50Yeah. But there's a lot of stuff that we don't, the math doesn't add up and that's, that's languages of the soul and it's not supposed to add up. And I think that's part of the pursuit of God. I think God loves the scientists because that's scientists are the practical pursuit of God. Well, there's some spiritual stuff that we're not supposed to be able to make sense of. I agree. That's what faith comes from. Everything doesn't have a balance sheet. Everything you You can't figure out everything, like especially emotions. You can't, you can't like, there's not a lot of math on them. No. Yeah. No.

1:28:21Like instincts, all of that kind of stuff. I think like that's something I want to lean even more into in my life is just like believing like there's not, I just have to know. I have to know that what this feeling I have inside of me is real. I don't need to read an article to tell me. I don't need to read this or know this. Even if somebody shows me some fool's gold that they believe in, I have to know that this God-created compass inside of me has some semblance of direction and factuality. And it takes a lot of trust and faith to do that, and it ain't easy. And one that I always give myself a little amnesty on is from this Benedictine monk named Thomas Mariton.

1:29:05and he said, God, I believe that trying to please you pleases you. So sometimes when we don't know, I think it's okay to give ourself a little pat on the back and go, at least I'm trying. And I kind of trust that that pleases God, that I'm giving an effort. Yeah, some grace, huh? Yeah, grace. Yes, sir. Give ourselves some grace. Well, thank you, Matthew. Yeah, thanks for taking time to even contribute this to the world, help people think. There's a lot of neat things to think about in here, like leadership, courage, little avenues. I think it's something that I wrote down here. Carve and burn was one that I wrote.

1:29:47Carve and burn, the wheat from the chafe, the fat. From the meat. Yeah, man. We got to get rid of it. In the name of transformation. That's that weed pulling we were talking about at the top of the show. We got to tend our own garden, man, around our soil, make sure we're pulling the weeds. Because you can look down and you can go, where's that diamond? Yeah. Where'd it go? Oh, it's covered in all the weeds I let it grow. In the name of transformation, die a little instead of completely. I really like that. Yeah. That's really about like having that extra beat of courage, that extra, you know, just believing that there's, you know, that there's something here if you just stay in this space, you know?

1:30:25Well, transformation comes with sacrifice, and that's part of dying a little bit. if you're nothing but transactional all the way through life not transformation if you're only transactional relationships if you're only seeking work or things that can only pay your your bank account or things that you know that are definitely that are that are quantifiable right that you know the outcome right there's not a lot of faith in that definitiveness no and that transaction if it's purely for transaction if our life is purely transactional then i think then And in the end, you die all the way. You die a lot.

1:31:02You're dead. All right? Transformational, you will die a little because you make it a sacrifice to live forever. Yeah, it's cool, man. There's a lot of neat stuff to think about in here. A lot of prayer, too. Do you have kind of a prayer practice or what's that been like in your life? Or what did you even learn when you were a kid? Do you remember the first time that you ever prayed? Yeah. We can finish on that conversation. First prayers. my mom was a big baseline gratitude and we grew up Methodist which is wasn't a lot of fire and brimstone it was more be thankful for what you have and try and multiply that with yourself and others and I remember if we come to the breakfast table like kind of grumpy or something mom would be in there cooking breakfast and she'd grab us by the arm walk us back down to our bedroom and go you getting in bed and you get in bed.

1:31:54She goes, no, no, back under the cover. She's already dressed, getting back under the cover. She goes, don't you come to my breakfast table where I'm cooking you hot breakfast until you're ready to see the rose in the vase instead of the dust on the damn table. She's like, oh, geez, I'm coming back. So you came back, hey, good morning, mom. There we go, good morning. She's like, never happened. Or, you know, we're arguing about, man, I got this one pair of caper shoes and they got holes in them and I need another pair of shoes, you know. You better quit bitching about having no shoes. I'm going to introduce you to the kid with no feet.

1:32:23Whoa, geez. So she was big on baseline gratitude. Yeah. And going, before you get into being upset or pouty about anything today, look outside this curtain. Do you see the sun rose again? That was not a guarantee. Amen. Yeah, before you get how you feel about it, let's look at the facts. Let's look at what gift was given. Now we may have a hard day. We may have something we've got to work with, but that's baseline gratitudes that you cannot, do not take for granted. And now I have a tool to work with it with. You show up with some gratitude. It certainly makes things smoother. Do you think, last question, do you think that, and this is back to football, because do you think that the Oklahoma, Texas, do you think those teams like being in the SEC now?

1:33:11You do. Yeah. Well, I know Texas does. Look, I think Oklahoma does too, and I think A &M did when they did. I don't think, you know, there were rumblings rumblings that A &M didn't want us coming over there, but I think in their heart of hearts, they got enough chutzpah that they wanted us to come there. They wanted to get that rivalry going again. I know Texas wants to be there. We want the greatest competition. We want to be in the greatest conference, and we want the greatest competition, and we want to push ourselves to compete at that highest level. Yeah. It is exciting. Yeah, I wondered that a little bit, because you just get so used to things being a certain way, and then something else comes in, and I was like, do they really love it?

1:33:51so yeah I was just curious thanks for helping me think man good to see you today bro congratulations thanks for sharing so many creative things with us over the years and helping us have thoughts and feelings like I've had a lot of emotion to your movies and been inspired and felt things and unfelt things you know by watching your art over the years and so thank you so much thank you for Greenlights thank you for this new book it's out now Poems and Prayers yeah just a lot of good stuff to fodder to think about and feel about so thank you so much man you're welcome good to be here man now I'm just floating on the breeze and I feel I'm falling like these leaves I must be cornerstone oh but when I reach that ground I'll share this peace of mind I found I can feel it in my bones But it's gonna tell you