#633 - Trevor Wallace

28:35And one of them has a little pistol or something. Dude, can you, can we pull up a happy? Is that crazy you think? Oh, it's insane. But can we pull up a McDonald's happy meal? It has kind of a roof in it. That's what I'm talking about. You know what I mean? And they put a toy. What the fuck? Bro. And Pizza Hut. You don't even want to see a Pizza Hut with the old motherfucking sombrero on it. Yes, bro. Put a sniper on there. And when Papa John's said that word, they should have done a different specialty. And Papa John's, you should, when you open one of the boxes every day, this is how they do it.

29:05One magical box. It has one of those voice things in it that when you open it, it says the N-word. And if you get that pizza, you get it free. Isn't that interesting? No reward. It's so fucked up. It's so bad. But then you get a reward. You're like, this is low-key Willy Wonka. Yeah. All people want is a little bit of something extra. They want a little bit of prize. You know? You know, the Epstein files are out, but I'm excited for the Wonka files. I think some weird shit was going down at Willy Wonka. With Galoris Glunt or whatever that kid's name was. Turning bitches into blueberries. It's literally all children and little people running around.

29:40I feel like we're getting into some weird files that are going to drop soon. The Wonka tapes. What? The Wonka tapes. Trevor Wonka? It's full knowledge now that PrizePix is America's number one sports picks app. It's undeniable. The app is really easy to use, and it's got everything. Player picks, team picks, and culture picks. That's right. On top of picking player lineups, you can now pick teams on PrizePix. Pick the winner, total, and spread on every game through the playoffs. Team picks are now available in 30 states, including California, Texas, and Florida. Sunny Florida. And Culture Picks covers everything else.

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33:04Charlie and Chocolate Factory. All right. That was the worst joke I've ever said. We'll take it out. Um, but dude, I guess like, yeah, going back to it, what do you think? Do you think there should be a age law for sex work? Yeah. Um, I, I do think 25 kind of makes sense. You like, like I think about what I was doing from 18 to 22. I mean, I was just in college. I was making the worst decisions of my entire life. Like, at one point, I smoked weed out of a light bulb. Like, literally the base of a light bulb. And, like, that same guy could have been like, fuck it, here's my dick. Right. Because that has tungsten in it, too.

33:43It could be real dangerous, probably, inhaling tungsten. Yeah, I mean, might as well just smoke meth at that point. But I broke a light bulb and used the bottom of it as a bowl for weed. So, I mean, I didn't even use the glass. That's crack neighbor behavior, dude. Yeah, it is. That's crack neighbor behavior. year yeah that's parallel of crack right that's meth adjacent bro meth adjacent sounds like a great podcast that could come out meth adjacent holy shit oh what about freddie versus meth adjacent dude oh i like that um but um or what if i'm trying to think if like because yeah if you had to be 25 do that and you had to be 18 to be in the army but what if they came out with like an army fans dude that's the thing like i start to see like weird business mergers happening like We've had like Long John Silvers and Baskin Robbins.

34:27Didn't they merger? No. Who merged? Pizza Hut and Long John Silvers. It's always the bitches that can't pull their own on their own. You know what I mean? But first of all, Long John Silvers shut it down. Yeah. I mean, investigate their taxes. That's a drug fraud. You thought shit was going on weird in Minnesota with the Somalis? Let's investigate Long John Silvers. Bro, there's no catch of the day out in fucking Midland, Texas. The catch of the day is the felon that was working behind the fry counter. That's the catch is when he leaves and the ankle monitor goes up. Type in Long John Silver's CEO if you don't mind.

35:05Oh, Long John Silver's right here. Under companies like Yum Brands, that's what they're called now, creating combined locations with KFC, Pete Sutter, Taco Bell. Yeah, that's the crazy. I just don't like that, dude, because I don't like somebody. You know they're cooking fish on the grill, and they're also cooking a burger. Taco Bell does it with a bunch. It might be Taco Bell and Pizza Hut. You'll see those like randomly. And then they stuff them in a gas station and it's fucking. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's not the same. None of that shit's the same. But dude, I could see an army fans, dude.

35:33Can you see the army fans? I could definitely see it. Who are they like taking down? They're not fighting anybody. It's just military people to show in their junk. Oh, oh, oh. To make an extra buck, I feel like. Or probably to fund our military. I feel like I could just see that, you know. I think it's a good idea. To fund the military, yeah. Hold on. Why don't we do it? All these guys are jacked. They work out 24-7. They might have a little bit of dirt or dust on their face from being at combat. There's so many lonely women in the Midwest, well, globally, who are like, that's hot. Yeah, and the chance they could do like, I don't know what you've been told.

36:12But for six more dollars, you can see this whole, yeah, something like that. But this bussy's getting sold. that's what we need dude it's like left right left right but it's just somebody showing their different tits yes it's somebody that is a great way to fund the military I I think because everything's going bankrupt so you're gonna have to find ways to fund things this is what I've been hearing is like yeah everywhere is bankrupt which blows my mind because like what's like we're not getting enough money and it's neither the businesses so who I know I can't even think about it it hurts my head it's getting weird dude Yeah, I mean Everything's getting weird, bro The current CEO of Long John Silvers is Nate Fowler Who took over in February 2025 Succeeding Blaine Shortread Who had served as CEO since early 2021 Can I see a photo of this guy?

37:01Yeah That's Nate Fowler, he's a baller Are we hoops? Oh, he looks like a nice guy He looks like a nice guy He also looks like he's never had Long John Silvers in his entire life He's like, what are we serving here? Oh, hell no Hell no Well, dude, they have that carp or whatever. I'm like, I'm not fucking parking and getting out of my car. Park to carp? Yeah. I don't know. There's something about it. I'm not getting carp through a drive-thru. I'm just not going in there to get any carp. Drive-thru is, I think, the downfall of America. I saw a Skyline Chili in Ohio with a drive-thru. I said, if you're getting chili on the road, you might as well start drinking.

37:43You have a better chance to survive getting a DUI than eating hot SpaghettiOs in the back of a tundra. And we start to, sometimes we think like, oh, we're Americans. We deserve so much. But then when you look at what we are willing to accept just on a daily day level for ourselves. And I know some people, they can't afford certain things. And I get that. But when you're willing to just pull up with your kids and just sit there and eat chili in the car and just do gas on each other and do body gas on each other. what are you doing it's just come to a point just cause you're a bangles fan or whatever you know what I'm saying what are we doing fucking Joe Burrow playlock shit is here hey sack this shit yeah it's so funny how Americanized my brain obviously catch this T Higgins and your dad just farts again you're like come on dad that's probably how it all starts that's the warm up in the locker room but it's so like this format is so normal to me that if I see a place that doesn't have a jar of steel I'll be like awful Let me look.

38:43Like if I'm going to Starbucks, I'm like, oh, this Starbucks is not going to drive through. Let me find a drive through Starbucks. Yeah. That's a good point. All you got to do is add a road and you up your sales. Oh, dude. A Starbucks on some places would be so good. On a nice steakhouse. But you could wait like 40 minutes in line when you put your order at the sign. If it's like a busy place. Oh, yeah. Yeah. The McRib. They just said this. Black folks are going to be pissed. What's inside of McRib? McDonald's hit with class action lawsuit claiming the sandwich doesn't contain rib meat. Ooh.

39:15Well, TBD on that, brother. I'm going to leave that up to my more chocolatey associates in the world because that's out of my jurisdiction, brother. According to the complaint, the McRib is actually made from restructured pork, which combines cuts such as shoulder, heart, tripe, and scalded stomach, none of which qualify as rib meat. That's fair. At least it's from a pig. I thought for sure that they were just painting some cow a different color. but to just do that to lie to a culture for so long saying it's rib I knew it wasn't rib one of my friends lives and dies by this thing my buddy Scotty I'm like he's always sending me pictures of him getting the McRib whenever it's back or whatever I'm like where did it go it didn't fucking yeah what did they do and they used to like I mean Burt always used to talk about that Burt Kreischer would always talk about how like crime would go up when the McRib was gone or whatever I think it did yeah I think this is like a real Americans like groundhog day yeah I feel like the McRib is back.

40:11Fine, honey, you're getting a ring this year. Why don't more people bet on prize picks with fucking the McRib? Is it coming back in January? Yeah, I don't know. I mean, what blows my mind about fast food, and I feel like I've talked about it on this podcast before, I don't know why, but what fucks me up is, you know the grill marks on chicken? Not real grill. It's tattooed on. What do you mean on chicken? You mean on just regular chicken you buy? Yeah, not at a, if you get a grilled chicken from McDonald's, not breaded, but grilled, they have like grill marks on it. That's fake. That's, it's like literally, it's like a henna tattoo.

40:45Grill marks on, it's like a henna tattoo. Yeah, it's temporary. Grill marks on fast food chicken are often fake, created by industrial branding machines. Yeah. Oh God. So they do that for the illusion that you're like, this was on a grill. Oh yeah. But I'm a sucker, I mean like if I see, I'm not questioning it. Well, this scene, but I don't think it's that. They're not doing that. That's some guy. That's more work. That's Nicholas Tesla making a chicken. But if you type in like a McDonald's. No, I think it says it right there. It's obvious, man. But I'm sure there's a video where you like erase it.

41:19Like I'm pretty sure. Have you ever wondered how frozen food companies get grill marks on chicken that clearly wasn't cooked on a grill because it came out of a factory? Well, this is how they do it. there are wheels that are very hot that roll directly over the chicken and leave them continuously branded with grill marks. Now for six more dollars, she would show you a breast or something at the end of that. Goes the military. Welcome to the military. Welcome to the air force, dude. I mean, that's where the hotties are too in the military is in the air force, bro. What? The hotties are in there?

41:54Yeah. Really? Are people in the military allowed to have an only fans because i could see a merger that i could just see like everything's so weird now i could easily see a merger there well everybody's doing collabs like if long john silvers and dairy queen are going to do something you think the military would at least take on one of these websites and this is a perplexity thank you no members of the u.s military are not allowed to operate only fans accounts particularly those involving adult content due to strict regulations on outside employment and conduct these activities often violate ethics rules requiring prior approval Now, if you are losing your life or risking your life for our country, I don't know if I believe that that's fair.

42:35Yeah, get to pop a little pee or something. I'll tell you what, if I was in jail, the first thing I'm doing is buying one of those phones out of another dude's ass, which might be the worst convenience store ever. I'm buying a phone out of a... Well, here's the thing. You put your money in his hand and whatever comes out of his ass is yours. I think that's usually how that was kind of like... That is very true. Oh, dude, it's... Isn't that funny? And it's usually the first thing out because you kind of have to give a... Like you don't usually have a ton of money. You're like, fuck. He's got one item in there.

43:00If he's got two, then that boy is into a different place. No, I think you can tickle each guy to kind of see if you can guess. Holy shit. That's how you rob a human vending machine. Yeah. They got an androids. But I think the first thing I would do if I was in jail, because I don't know how they get internet or Wi-Fi, but like I'll see like live TikToks in jail sometimes. Yeah, Drewski has all those guys doing that. He's always looped in with like a lot of like, it looks kind of like boys to men sort of like, It looks like an acapella group that went to jail. Right, right. And they're all wearing shysties and shit, and they're all in there.

43:30You don't need the shystie. You're already in jail. But I think I would immediately try to start an OF account. I would be like, I'm already in jail. I would just J-O. I would just beat my shit every night in my cell. Oh, I don't know. I think you get tired of that. You want to start reading, dude. Trust me. Let me just tell you. After a couple nights, you're going to want to - If I was in jail. You're going to want to tap into a good book. But just if I wanted to raise enough money to pay for my bail. Oh, for sure. If I'm in jail and I want to get out. Yeah, no, no, no. I hear you. I think that's always the answer.

44:01But if I'm in jail and I'm trying to meet my bail and I need like 50K, I don't know what the crime would be. Type shit. Yeah, I'm showing meat to get some bread. And are you jerking off semi-regular or what? Not really. Wow. Have you jerked off this year?

44:21I thought you were going to say today No way dude I'm not a gay dude Have you jerked off this year? Yeah But it's only when I'm like in hotels This is the first time I've been in hotels Well there hasn't been that much of this year I'm just saying How many days in are we? Not enough for you to win this argument I'm like a one a week guy I'm like a trash can I gotta take the load out to the front yard Every once in a while Well here's the thing dude I'll sometimes jerk off so I don't go do something else that's gonna get me in trouble yeah that's what I'll do it's like if I'm feeling like man I want to go out and meet up with like some go to a bar meet up with some people or do something that you know it could be more risky for me sometimes I'll jerk off so I don't go do that because it'll be like oh you ain't doing shit whitey after I jerk off that's kind of the voice that's in my head you ain't doing shit you little wigger what's funny I had the same thought one time on tour I was single but I've never been a guy who's wanted to be like, if somebody DMs me after a show, I'm like, what's up?

45:20You know, like, yeah. Yeah, I stay away from that. I mean, I'll engage sometimes, but I'm never like, hey, send me that, send me a drawing of that cooter or whatever, you know? Yeah, draw it on an IG story, make it a boomerang. Make that shit breathe for me. But, oh my God, you're out there, bro. I'm never that guy. I don't even say that in real life. But you know the lingo, dog. You're in there. Let it breathe, yeah. I've been watching Drewski videos. But I remember this exact moment. It was in, like, I want to say Atlanta. This was, like, a year or two ago. But this girl DMed me. I was, like, trying to meet up.

45:55And I was like, I don't really do this. But she was really attractive. And she had them bangers and front acorns on her? I don't know. She was private. She had that yard work, huh? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She could have been a dude for all I know. Shorty had that yard work on her, huh? Yeah, she had that reverse mullet. All top heavy. Nothing in the back. But I remember I was like, no. trevor don't do that but because there's a few messages back and forth and then i went to the bathroom beat my shit and i was like all right we're good yeah about an hour goes by and i fill back up testosterone i go fuck it what are you doing no and yeah did she come over no it was too late yeah but like you getting the seat out only buys you about an hour of time so so i was like you know what you don't need this go jerk your shit and you have the rest of your night and go to sleep oh for sure but then i was up for another hour all of a sudden back to the brim well i would you gotta you gotta employ other forces bro a lot of times i would jerk off and then if i had to go eat like um i would go eat like a bag of bread or something or like half a bag of bread just because i'm not gonna go i feel like it's better to have sex than eat a bag of bread well for sure but i mean also you're creating just like somebody's coming over you don't know what's gonna go on how late you gotta be up but i would eat a bunch of bread or order a bunch of rolls up to my room and eat like six or seven rolls or some toasted or some toasted bread it's almost like you'd give yourself just to be like i'm not gonna eat a ton of bread and then go have sex like oh interesting it's almost like you give yourself post no regret without doing it oh why do you like two or three burger patties just something that would like be like oh i'm so glutton like i'm not gonna be all fat trying to have chicken wings are a big one or i'm just not gonna be all like i don't want to be having sex and hearing the food like bang around what's the funniest thing you've ever eaten before uh having a night with uh somebody you've dated or a lady Do you ever have like a meal that comes to your mind?

47:43No Really? Like I remember one time I went to a I've had some probably good like maybe small Like unique little cookies or something Maybe something nice like that But you never had one of those like I have a very specific memory I went to a God there's like three really good guitarists out right now What is his name? He's like the biggest He's probably been on the show Strings? Billy Strings? Billy Strings I was out day drinking all day and I was eating hot dogs, day drinking with my friends, which is the straightest thing you can do. Then I met up with my dad, went to a Billy Strings concert.

48:15Oh, he's playing next month at Bridgestone. Wow. Dude, he's iconic. He's great. He's so good live. But I remember eating a bunch of hot dogs and chicken wings, and then I went to Billy Strings with my dad. I had an edible, and I went back to my place before his girl came over, and I shit so hard, like liquid. And I was like, all right, I'm about to shower, and then I get a text. hey, I'm here. Not good. I really had to wipe down. I had to, you know. The craziest is. I should have taken my ass to a car wash. Yeah, the craziest is sometimes you're almost amazed your ass can do all of that. Yeah.

48:50You're like, wow, all right. But that's growing up, man. That really is, yeah. I was just trying to think. Like, I feel like. But no, I've never had a crazy meal before. But you never, like, had, like, chicken wings and then, like, indulged in some lovemaking? Oh, for sure. Yeah, but even that's a little. But nothing that stood out crazy. I've never had like any like, you know, like something from India or something that came through the through the mail. And then I just like, oh, let me finish off a quart and a half of this before I try and make love. Never had like clam chowder than been in someone else's clam with some chowder.

49:22Come on, you know, I don't get crazy. Bro, I have a funny ass story about you. We did a festival together. Oh, yeah. Where were we? Somewhere in Canada. And you were in your trailer. We're hanging out. And it was me, you, and a couple people. And we're all in conversation. In the middle of the conversation, we're in your trailer. You walk to the bathroom. Blow it up. Did I? Blow it up. You sure? Buddy. I mean, you can cut this if you want. But it was like in a – the green room was a motorhome trailer. And the doors were thin. And we heard – I mean, it sounded like you were kick-starting an F-350.

50:00I mean, it was loud. And then you walk right back out. And you're like, all right, so what are we doing tonight? Wow And I don't know You can cover that if you want No I might have had a long flight or something Or who knows Sometimes you exchange rate on your Oh yeah On your digestive tract All the travel is The travel is just like It's like your Things are small and big And you don't even know You eat two like small things on a plane And when you land They weigh more because of your gravity It was that one It was Vancouver Which Vancouver does have a lot of Indian food So maybe you got spiked with a little bit of Indy I don't even know what happened dude It was just a funny moment Oh yeah That's life That's all of us What are we all gonna pretend like Dude, fucking three of those people back there Guarantee one person back there blew a bathroom up this morning Yeah, well people Can we get some confirmation?

50:45Guilty That's what the fuck I'm talking about People are shitting all the time That's the craziest thing I can't believe that there's not a report each day That tells you about it more Well, there's toilets now that can remember When you've gone to the bathroom and everything like that There's that new cat thing That if your cat When your cat goes to the bathroom It'll let you know It'll send you a thing at work because your cat is shit? This is stupid. I hate it. It's called Litter Robot. It's probably the worst app I've ever had. My problem is these... You think you have cats? I've won, but he'd be shitting.

51:14But the thing with these... And you're getting updates about it? Oh, dude, I get his bowel movements every day. It's like when Spotify rap drops, I'm like, I don't care who Drake is. I don't care who your top artist is. It's like, you want to know what day of the week my cat shit's the hardest? It's Wednesday, brother. Wow. But the problem is everything... Do cats shit every day? Uh, I, I want to say so. I think they're like, uh, I don't know when they do. Maybe like nighttime or something. But my problem with all these apps is like, they, uh, they, everything has an app now, but, but they're not being made by good app, like web developers.

51:52Yeah. It's like, why do I got to have a, why do I have an undercase, uppercase, lowercase password for my cat to shit? I know. Shit fires me up. Well, I think it's hard because now with AI, like you could just set an AI thing to just try and scramble to figure out somebody's password and it could just do it infinitely you know that's why that's why there's a lot of fear these days um but yeah dude some of that stuff what was that thing he was just showing with that cat the little robot yeah it shows i could pull it up right now oh i believe you dude i'm sorry you're having to go through all that it's just crazy that that's kind of where we are what's the newest thing you bought recently that that fired you up not much i haven't really bought anything i've been kind of looking for a house but it's been like a slow look same area yeah we're like same like city yeah i want to live in the same area same city but it's just been kind of tough there's been some that have come by but it's just like and then it's hard to go look sometimes you get caught up with work and stuff like that but it's been good what uh what do you what what what kind of speech you want like a new house i just want a little more space a little bit more like property kind of a little bit just a little bit more land not even a ton but just a little bit more would you have a farm i wouldn't mind maybe getting a couple animals or something like if my i know my mom would like to have some animals so maybe i could keep some if she wanted to come out and see them sometimes that's cool i wouldn't i mean it would be nice to have some a couple horses and a dog a couple editors out there yeah a couple editors in the barn roosters donkeys some guys cutting clips in the back feeding him hay um feeding him prime with the animals dude dude what did i just see well of uh what was that thing at rogan's i saw this thing do you see this thing at rogan's club where the furries showed up and were protesting him?

53:26Really? No. Furries? Yeah. See if you can find that. Is this real? Protesters gathered outside Joe Rogan's comedy mothership in Austin.

53:43Rogan has died. Alec Jones never again is now. What does that even mean? That was Trisha Payish's backup slogan. Never again is now. What were they there for? Or does it say if you look in the comments or anything? This looks like a silent disco. This is the worst protest I've ever seen. Also, it looks fun. It does look fun. I mean, they have a Cartman out there. Yeah, what was that? Discover the protest at Joe Rogan's Comedy Mothership in Austin where critics gathered to voice their opinions on the podcaster. Well, first of all, this was on New Year's Eve, so these motherfuckers are lonely. Yeah, that is so sad.

54:19Hey, what are you guys doing when the ball drops? We're going to go protest the mothership? Is that even real, I wonder? then? I don't know. It looks like it could have just been a party outside of there. Yeah, I don't know. There's two people with a sign. How many people do you need for it to be a protest? You know? Because at one point it's like, I'm curious about the guys who preach the gospel out front of like, you know, you go down a PPG arena and they're preaching the gospel with a sign, but it's one guy. It's like, is that a protest or is he just schizophrenic? That's a good point. Sometimes that's a guy just like soapbox kind of.

54:49Yeah. This says here, let me see. It says protesters gathered outside comedy mothership in Austin on New Year's Eve 2025 to criticize Joe Rogan, the club's owner and podcaster. They labeled him as a diet Alex Jones, comparing his views to one of the far-right figure Alex Jones, also based in Austin. Critics blame Rogan for dominating Austin's comedy scene since opening the club in 2023, sidelining local venues like Cold Town Theater and Capital City Comedy Club.

55:16Yeah, I don't know. Some of the demonstrators wore inflatable costumes like unicorns, dinosaurs, and cows. Which is also Rogan's diet.

55:27Plus an Eric Cartman impersonator from South Park while holding up signs such as Never Again Is Now. Why is he talking about Yoda? I don't get the Never Again Is Now thing. I don't know, but I think you're right when you said that it's Trish Arbettis' second slogan. It's a great idea. I don't know, man. That's bizarre. Fellas, you already know what time it is. Look at your watch. Time to knock on wood. Blue Chew! Blue Chew just dropped something crazy. I'm talking next level championship belt gold-plated energy. Blue Chew Gold. The newest innovation from the number one chewable ED brand. Let's get that little lump lurking.

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56:57And we thank Blue Chew for sponsoring the podcast. Namaste. Hard. What a... Oh, I saw you went to the Rams game. Dude, I got big in football. I'm locked in. I used to be a guy like three years ago that was like, oh, you like sports? Get a real personality, bud. Get a hobby. Do open nice. But like I got invited to a Rams game a couple years ago, maybe like two years ago. And I just, it clicked. And I just started, you know, it started by me just going to games. And then it started by me like, you know, like watching the game on your phone. Oh, yeah. And you're like a divorce court and you're like just kind of watching it.

57:37But over time, you just kind of get locked in. And it's just like now I'm all about it. Like I don't miss a game. I was just at the Rams game on Sunday against the Cardinals. And, like, now it's to the point where it affects my day. I'm fully in. I was, like, in denial. But, like, it's kind of like with, like, nicotine or something. Where you're like, I'm not going to get nicotine. Not me. Not me. I'm built different. And then it's, you know. Like, shit. You have one before breakfast. But, yeah, I did the chant at the Rams game. Like, the Who's House chant. Was that scary? What was that vibe like?

58:03You know, it was a lot of fun. I think I was definitely more amped up. Let's see it. Pull it up. But I think just performance and standing is just. this is just another gig. Right, you're kind of used to that part, so the nerves aren't there, but I guess off the acoustics, all that would be kind of scary to me. Well, I will say it's like EDM and sports, like they just cheered anything. Like I did a gig opening lightly, I say, for Dylan Francis, you know Dylan? Years ago at Hard Summer, I went up as like a fake DJ before his set, the headlining set. Oh, that's a great idea. So when I went up there, I was like a character and was like, what the fuck is up, Coachella?

58:41and it was at a different music venue. And like, they just cheered. Like they were just happy. Like they don't even care. They hear somebody making noise in a mic. I could have went up and went, I like, and they're like, yeah. So like that same kind of energy that I got from that crowd was the same I got at the Rams when I'm just like, you yell, who's house? You go, Rams. Like you're just gonna get good feedback. So. And it's nice to, it is nice to be a fan of something. Like I became a fan of Vanderbilt. I've been a fan of LSU and I cheer for the Vols, but it's like, it's just nice to be a fan of something.

59:13It makes you, gives you something to be kind of invested in. Let's see this. Let's see this Who's House part. Is it in here? I can throw 40 yards. Who's House! It's so awkward just seeing it. They got to cut to... Why do I look like the Seahawks logo? Yeah, try to sneak a quick joke in there. Oh, respect. Oh, you do look like a Seahawks logo from the side right there. And you had your own celebration too, I saw. What was the celly that he had? Oh, this is dumb. This is insane, dude. Sometimes I just post something and I'm like, man, fuck it. Because those are the ones that like that'll either flop or do like whatever.

59:55I saw this. That's an insane touchdown celebration. Yeah, it's crazy. Dude, Ja Morant. Can we pull up his buckets? You know Ja Morant? Yeah. For the Grizzlies? Oh, yeah. We're in Tennessee. His celebrations. I can't stop talking about how. Dude, they're the funniest. in the world. The grenade? I haven't even noticed a lot of them. Have you seen them? Dude, when he makes like a three, he does the grenade, throws it, and then covers his ears. I mean, you have to get them on the pod. The grenade covers the ears. Oh! That is pretty clutch, bro. Then he started doing one that's like a rocket launcher.

1:00:30But then he gets fined for every single one of these. He did a rocket launcher. So now his new one is he'll pull out a gun and then put it down like this. He holsters it and goes like, no fines here dude it's i like it's so funny to me he doesn't give a fuck huh no and he's gonna find like probably like 10 or 30k like for this but when you're making that much i just don't know he puts a gun away holsters it puts it down there we go and that's and that's protecting legendary dude it's just funny man i think that even the players are getting scared of being over there so he may need that weapon when he when he leaves a facility it's kind of crazy the one place that should be allowed to actually have weapons in the cellies is there.

1:01:12Right, right, right. Yeah, it depends on the team. If you're on the Warriors, okay, that's enough. Yeah. You just tweet about it, you know, just hit up Zuck. I'm like, this guy's bullying me online. But if you're in Memphis, yeah, you need at least like a bow and arrow or the RPG. Yeah, I think you deserve that. What is Memphis like? I'm going there on my tour. Oh, Memphis is awesome, dude. It has so much history. It's just gotten this kind of, it's gotten like a lot of, it's got a lot of danger downtown at night and in just different areas. and it makes it kind of a bummer because you can't go enjoy like the vibes that are there.

1:01:40Graceland is really great if you get to go see Elvis' house. Okay. It's great. I've heard about that. It's great. It's worth going to see. And that's where, wait, hold on. I'm really dumb. Elvis lived in Memphis or Graceland is on the outskirts of Memphis? Elvis, it's in Memphis and Elvis lived there. Elvis in Memphis? Oh, he was probably clapping BBWs. I mean, I don't know what it was like back then, man, but I bet it was a great mix of music and sound and culture and everything. I mean, Memphis used to be so great. Dude, if you get to stay at the hotel downtown where they have the ducks and the ducks come in like every day at like I think 4 p.m.

1:02:11the duck master brings in the ducks and uh no it's like these ducks that come in and they swim in the pond up there the famous Peabody ducks at the Peabody hotel no I've never heard of this the Peabody ducks are the resident mallards at the Peabody Memphis hotel known for their daily march down a red carpet into the lobby fountain at 11 a.m. and back to their rooftop duck palace at 5 p.m. The tradition began in 1933 when the hotel's general manager and a friend, after some whiskey, put their live duck decoys in the lobby fountain, delighting guests. Hmm. Okay. What's crazy is ducks are called ducks because they literally duck.

1:02:54Yeah. Oh, it could be just a couple, it could be a couple brothers named duck. But these are the actual ducks. Yeah, people come in and the duck master walks them in And the Duckmaster live in the hotel up top. Does he really? Yeah. It's a beautiful place. And they got a great place there where they sell like replica suits that Elvis used to wear. I got one last time I was over there. Oh, wow. It was pretty cool. Yeah, I'm excited. I'm going to do a lot of places I've never been on my tour. And Memphis is definitely one of them. Oh, it's going to be good. Yeah, there's great people there. It's great shows.

1:03:21It's just they got this. They got like, I don't know. It just gets a little bit tragic over there. Kind of shooty. That's the thing. It gets shooty at night. But there's a chance of precipitation from a Luger. People popping off, bro. People don't use Lugers anymore. Yeah, that's unfortunate. But yeah, that bust nut Selly, dude, that shit's nice, man. Yeah, that's crazy. When do you think the first person that ever busted a nut actually was, do you think? Can you pull that up? Wasn't it Adam? Huh? Was it Adam? No, Adam Lambert? No. Like and Eve? Or are they even real? Yeah. Adam and Eve? It had to have been.

1:03:54Somebody had to stop it. I mean, I don't think we should go down that road right now. But we can, but it just might take a long time. The earliest recorded references to ejaculation in human history appear in ancient Sumerian and Egyptian myths from around 2 ,500 to 2 ,400 BC. It was the Somalis. These texts describe God creating rivers, deities, and the world through acts of masturbation and seminal omission. I wonder how many people called out of work the next day once they found out about masturbation. Oh It's like in middle school when like a new video game would drop And you'd be like be home sick the next day When like COD dropped Oh if a good game dropped Dude that shit was so nice You play any video games Not right now I haven't been playing them man I do play Breath of the Wild and I played whatever the second one was I'm not sure I know that What was the second one it was on Switch Oh yeah you're a Switch guy Yeah I like Switch Just cause I can kind of keep with me on the go Oh, Tears of the Kingdom?

1:05:24The second one was not good you to spend so much time there it felt kind of unfair okay i'll avoid it so that's what i kind of felt those are kind of chill though the fly when does it when does someone's nut actually bust what is that about you know i'm saying you hear about it but what's like the exact like what is the actual like what's like the nascar they wave the flag to go yeah when is that when is that when is the nut when is the nut actually bust if you can look that up is it faster without us being on a list also oh yeah but is it like you know like the speed of light like do you think there's something called like the speed of nut i mean it's right there it has to be something because it's really how creation started i mean they're saying right there that it's like in ancient texts that that's how like the creation of rivers and lands and and even people started what how how many miles per hour is it i think that'd be something let's learn.

1:06:18A nut bust is slang for ejaculation during masturbation or sex. It refers to the moment of orgasm when semen is released. The phrase emerged in the 1930s with nuts, meaning testicles, since the 1800s. It evolved to describing climaxing explosively. People use it interchangeably, and this is via perplexity, thank you. People use it interchangeably with bust a nut, But often in casual or explicit talk about male orgasms, it applies specifically to masturbation in contexts like solo sessions. Do you call it bust a nut or you got something fun like release the hounds? I do that like that one, two, one, two, three, release them.

1:07:03I do that. Count it down. Five, six, seven, eight. I do that chocolate stud, that lady that sings at the funerals, you know? No, who's this? You didn't see her? Maybe. Oh, this is someone I love right here. Oh, dude, I got I gotta show you this song. You don't know this being a gram This is oh, I do notice

1:07:28I bet the other dead bodies like type shit. It's kind of good

1:07:37There's a truck going by That's a funeral bro That's how it is That is like That's a hall of fame stud suit right there They need to hang that up somewhere in a bowling alley Some people thought this was Nate Robinson There you go right there yo that shit was hard and she gets tired everywhere now shout out to her what's her name as well is she really she gets tired everywhere now she's blown up she's about to get the fucking triple bookings after this podcast dropped she's blown up she sings what did she charge for this the release them was hard that was literally like the smoke at like a DJ set oh yeah that was sick man Niecy Robinson release them she really popped off one two three release them I wish that heaven had a phone to call you up man that's the truth bro And that's I think her own song Isn't it?

1:08:33I heard a song last night, it's so good It's about a grandma dying On Instagram reels What is it? Can you type in Miami something bazooka? Bro, it's the funniest song It's so good It's an AI song? No, it's a real dude But it's getting a lot of play right now Let's hear it This shit is hard It might be my walkout song Ooh, pull up. I love this. Yeah. Or place at my funeral with the balloons. I hope we don't die for a long time, though. Type shit. Kind of a buildup. Tennessee type shit. My granny. She got hit by a bazooka.

1:09:15Wait for it.

1:09:25Imagine this was Ja Morant highlights. I was in my room trying to teach my little sister. Then I heard a boom and it sounded like a missile. Who that is? What that was? Oh, that granny. Oh, she done. Oh, she gone. What the fuck? All right, yeah, that's all the part I heard. But Recipe's my granny shit hit by a bazooka. Honestly, if my grandma died by a bazooka, I mean, like, that's kind of a sick way to go out. Well, there's only so many ways to go, bro. I've always said once I die, I want my body to be shot out of a cannon into a schoolyard of kids that are playing. They don't know I'm coming.

1:10:02Really? Right. Shot over the fence or whatever, right? Oh, your body or cremated? Yeah, my body. No. Oh, nice. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And the first kids that come up and touch my body gets everything that I have. That's like a Mr. Beast games. Yeah. Or you should be like a field goal, like for Vanderbilt. Like your body gets shot through the t-shirt cannon through it. That'd be crazy. I think it would be cool if you got put into a special thing in a t-shirt cannon and they shot you out or something. they should do shit like that it's like um i've been preaching this for a minute like there's so many cool like jenna reveals where they do like all this stuff but you've never seen like a viral cremation like i'm sick and tired like i i've been writing a bit about it but like i want my ashes to get blown out of the exhaust of like a ford f350 and i want to do half and half top part cremated bottom half open casket like i want to do half and half come see that jump yes sir i love that but like nobody's doing fun stuff like the ashes it's always like oh let's go Mount Rushmore so she can be close to an old president.

1:10:55And I've been there and it's not that great. They do have good ice cream. But yeah, it's not worth going all the way to drop your ashes. I agree. Do something great. Surprise people at a party. There you go. Do this Civil War type shit. Shoot me out of a cannon. Here we go. Where are you getting your ashes blown out? I don't know. It's a good question. Honestly, like a strip club would be far. Just like doing it with ashes. Let John Morant throw them out. He would do it, dude. He has all those famous strip club scenes. Go back to the other thing, though. This is good. Ejaculation speed varies, but sources cite average speeds around 27 to 28 miles per hour.

1:11:34That's like two bird scooters. Or up to 45 kilometers per hour, while sperm itself can move faster, sometimes reaching 70 kilometers an hour. Though it slows significantly inside the female reproductive tract, women will slow anything down. Speeds are measured in bursts during contractions. I do the damn makeup while I'm in the suits. I always think about this like... But average ejaculation around 27 to 28 miles per hour, bro. I think, like, if it was a baseball, I feel like I could hit it. How fast is that? I feel like I could hit that. Yeah, because... 27 miles an hour? Yeah, you could hit it.

1:12:06If somebody threw a bunch of sperm at you, you could hit it. Because in the MLB, they're doing what, 90? If you're a complete gay weirdo, you could fucking... But I'm thinking if it was a fastball... Oh, I'd just say ball and just catch it. That's the case. I was just thinking well I low key want to like drive a car 27 miles an hour down the street right now just so I can comprehend how fast it is well I will say this if you got on the very hood say somebody drove it 27 miles an hour you get on a hood and you get your wiener just above the front of the hood and you bust like a Buick or say you go about 25 miles an hour if you bust it should kind of stay in front of you guys just a little bit.

1:12:48Now that would be pretty awesome to see. That's something you guys should start doing, man. You could use that to raise money for the military. They need to start doing that for like dude perfect. Yeah, yeah, dude. Because, dude, you're already perfect. You're fucking shooting these bitches off of the mall. You're shooting them off of like a burning shopping mall into like a children's daycare. And then they speed up and it gets all over you. No, but you're, dude, you're already perfect. Those guys are already perfect. Somebody tell them. They're doing hook shots from like the, from like. They're doing hook shots from Ukraine?

1:13:16Yeah, from Ukraine and landing them like in Russia like you're doing great dude like yeah It should just be called dudes done it. They've done it. Yeah, you've done it So start doing other cool shit. What is this ma 'am flips over Corvette driving at 30 miles per hour? Okay, let's watch it We got people on the bus And Matt Oh wow that sounded like it hit his legs it did some hit oh If that's even real He did a flip. Yeah, that's pretty cool. Is there an exact moment that the nut actually busts? And does it take longer to come out with a bigger hog? Because it's got more travel space. Or does that propel it like a slide?

1:14:01Shouldn't you already know that? I don't study hogs. That's true. But like if... I'll tell you it doesn't. No? It's the same speed? I think so. I've never seen a small hog do it. But wouldn't it have to travel more? Penis size doesn't directly dictate ejaculation time. Some studies link larger glands volume to faster ejaculation, while others, nothing to see here, Trevor. While others' findings like those are, yeah. I don't think it matters that much, man. I'm going to tell that to a woman. But hey, you want to see something travel at 27 to 28 miles an hour in a minute? That's not a bad line. It's not bad at all.

1:14:39What do you think we get at the 30? Hey, come over. You want to see this? You got a speed gun? you ever meet someone you ever meet somebody and wonder like how are you the sperm that made it yeah you know what I mean oh you realize there was a slim group of racers oh yeah they were racing on an off day yeah or there must have been like some bad weather that day but like sometimes I'm like how are you the sperm cell that beat everyone else oh yeah there's some people that shouldn't be people yeah there's some people that shouldn't be people for sure whose top three people you would like to take out that don't need to be people.

1:15:15They can be a type of person. Not like a race, but like somebody who works at a barista or something. Probably this gay dude that gave my friend a Heimlich maneuver when we were high on LSD at a Woffa house when we were kids. He did too much. He wasn't even choking. We don't know if he was. He was clocking him from the back. I mean, he did a lot. It was a lot. Really? Tell me about that. He was choking. Yeah, we were on LSD. We went there and we saw a black gay guy. We'd never seen it before, so we didn't even know what to do, right? We were like, no. This is in Covington? Yeah, and we're like, no way or whatever, you know?

1:15:58We're freaking out, and we're already freaking out. We're like, you know, we're probably - LSD. 15, LSD, Waffle House, just sitting there rattling. How'd you know he was a little - He seemed gay. He was wearing like flare and shit. They didn't even have flare, really. He was wearing a lot of exciting flares. Like light-up shoes. Yeah, just shit that was like, yeah. Like his whole fucking, like his dick was probably glow in the dark or whatever. So you could just feel like, it felt like something warm was coming out of his pants. Like if he got close to you, it felt like it was warm in the front of his pants.

1:16:30Yeah, okay, I hear you. But anyway, yeah, my friend started choking, I think. And also we were laughing so hard because we're just so high. And he started time-licking him and he just kept doing it. It was crazy, dude. and I was laughing so hard I was like tears were flying out of my I couldn't even try to save my friend I was like laughing so I just pulled up and my friend was kind of small and he just kept doing it to him but anyway but you'd take him out I think we should have a talk okay I think things you know that was kind of a lot I saw you just went to Africa dude yeah yeah yeah that was were you touring over there no you go with your girl no I was with my family.

1:17:09I was literally just, it was one of those things where like a year ago, my mom texts a family group chat, which is a pretty boring chat. Somebody's got to spice it up. Uh, my mom just texting goes, uh, Hey, would you guys want to go to Africa as a family? Like, uh, I was like, yeah, I'm down. And then it comes like nine months later, like, Hey, you got to get these shots. Like you're going like, this is a thing. And I'm like, Oh fuck, this is actually happening. Um, and yeah, I got like five shots and then went with family, just did a bunch of safari stuff. and it was pretty cool. I mean, like - Were you glad you did?

1:17:40Yeah, definitely. I think it was fun just being, because I haven't done like a family trip in like over a decade. So it was fun to just be with my parents and my sister for the first time, like actually doing something in a while. But it's so funny that it's like, my brain is so brainwashed. There's like literally a lion eating a zebra in front of me and I'm like, yeah, yeah, yeah. But like, you can see this on reels. Right. Like it was definitely cool. It was very surreal seeing, because the safaris are all at, I don't even know. Were you guys in Kenya? Where'd you go? Yeah, Kenya. Savo Amboseli, which one?

1:18:11You guys went to go to one of those? I'm not sure which one, but we were in kind of like all around the like outskirts of Nairobi. And it's like each one would be like three hours. So all these are like kind of in like sanctuaries where the hotel is and then you travel around the hotel. But traveling from kind of hotel to hotel, that's really where you see like the real, real side of Africa. And that was like very, I want to say like probably the best sense of community I've ever seen. Like everybody's just outside doing something. Oh, I went on a hot air balloon. That was the same. Have you ever been on a hot air balloon?

1:18:40No, I don't know if I have. It's, oh, you'd know. It was honestly the coolest thing I've ever done. It was like, what's crazy is when the fire is going to propel you, it's loud as hell. But when it's not, it's dead silent. And this was at like 7 a.m. So you're just sitting there in the sky in silence. But, uh, yeah, seeing the communities were, was so interesting because that's sick. Everybody's outside. Everybody's like, like nobody's really like hanging on their phones, which. Well, some people might not have phones and they don't have air conditioning too. Yeah. But like just. But it's also part of the culture just being alive and like seeing what's going on.

1:19:15But everybody was either like, no matter where you were going, there was just people just like walking. There's always some that, I don't know, man. It's just, it was really a cool perspective to see. Like that literally, like I'm seeing elephants like this close in front of me and I'm like acting like this is normal. Yeah. Dude, that's beautiful, man. It was actually really beautiful. And I had a great time. I'm trying to think about funny stuff that happened out there, if any. That's amazing. And do they have a lot of like wiggas over there or anything like that? Or is it not that? Just me, but not that I, no, I mean.

1:19:47Because that's where they would really be at. Because otherwise that's kind of an American thing then, I guess. I don't know if I saw like any like because that's where the local white people but I'm just saying they got to have some and if they do are some of them you know well I think they go there in disguise taking notes and then bring it back over here yeah they're like a secret spy for back home what about MGK you think he's one or no I think graduated he yeah once you put like a paperclip in as an earring I think you've graduated Bailey Zimmerman is one Is he? I don't know I'm not super familiar with his music But I know he's very popular Yeah Who else out there is I don't know But I'm just saying If they don't have a mayor Then it's an American thing Or it's a British thing What are we talking about?

1:20:35Wiggas What are you talking about? I don't know I was trying to think about Other artists who Might get allegations Oh no I'm just saying I mean Elton John was kind of one Even though he never Was he really? I think he was Kind of just from his style For sure I think he's more on the wiggle side of things. I think it's very close. If you wiggle enough, a brother will show up. So I think you wiggle enough, somebody's going to cornrow your hair and light a fucking blunt for you. Who's the OG, would you say? Oh, the OGs? Would it be Elvis? Oh, that's a good call. Michael Rappaport was kind of one, I think, in his day, for sure.

1:21:16Who's that guy, Gianni? Johnny Paolo, he's the front runner. He's, he's, he's Heisman. He's Heisman for sure. We go to the UFC fights all the time. He is Heisman. Every time I see a photo of him, his chains get bigger and bigger. Either he - And they get stolen-er and stolen-er. Really? Oh, yeah. He gets them stolen? Yeah. This shit is fucking - Dude, I like, we're boys on Instagram. I've never met him in real life. But every time I see him, he's flexing more and more money. I'm like, how many episodes of power were you on? The best, bro. He's going to need some power to fuck it. He's going to need some power to keep people off his chains, bro.

1:21:47Did he get snatched like that? I think it happens a lot within the culture. It's part of the culture. It's kind of like, it's like - Well, he almost seems like a sting operation. It's like capture the flag kind of. Some people say he's a fed. Some people say he snitched on Diddy. Diddy? I don't know. But I've just heard a lot of that shit. Some people say he's a fed. I mean, look at him. But he's got to be like the Heisman for that community. I think if you had - Every year they should Heisman up a Wigga, I think. Yeah. And I think - Who do they got for 2025? I think this guy is a candidate. Him.

1:22:16I think he'd put MGK in there, though. I don't think... MGK is kind of his own thing, though. I would say... He's just multifaceted. I think he's, you know... I think Rife's up there a little bit... Fresh off Wildin' Out a little bit. Oh, Matt Rife, definitely. Off the Wildin' Out days a little bit. With the abs, you can't have great abs and not be Wiggin'. Now he's more kind of like... I think Rife has Wigga in him. Yeah. Or H-Dub, Hidden Wigga, they call it. I'm trying to think of who else. Oh, maybe that... Oh, Dan Bongino. Tim Walls. Tim Dillon, maybe. Tony the Tiger, probably. That guy that was in Salt.

1:22:58Salt Burn? Salt Burn, but not the main guy. Barry Keoghan? Barry Keoghan. Is he? I could see it. He's Irish. Almost all Irish people are. All right. Yeah, I feel like there's some obvious ones that I'm missing. Oh, I thought that was a picture of damn. I think Chalamet is a little bit. He could low-key have some in him. I thought this was a picture of who are those lion tamers in Vegas? Penn and Teller? No. Fuck. I thought that was Sigfried and Roy. Oh, I thought that was like Sigmund Freud. I didn't even know, dude. But no, I'm just glad to know what's happening out there. Dude, did you see when Speed I Show Speed raced that Cheetah?

1:23:37Mm-mm. Dude. Did he beat it? Pulled it up. How fast are Cheetahs running? Because the real speed is what can go faster, a cheetah or not. We'll find out right now. Let's see that. We're about to race the cheetah. Come on, baby. What the f***? You see that? It scratched him.

1:24:07What the f***? Wait. I'm lost. Dang. Wait, so how fast was... It said 110 miles an hour. That's just not real. It said the cheetah hit up to 92 miles an hour at some point. I don't know if that was... I mean, these are all edits, but still, the fact that he raced a cheetah is wild. What's an animal you could race and beat, you think? Rooster. But if they're not flying. If they're only running. They can't fly. But they can kind of jumpstart a little bit. They go nine miles an hour. Yeah, I could beat it. I don't know, nine miles? Dude, can you run nine miles in an hour? It's throughout the day, yeah.

1:24:43Well, it's not throughout the day, bro. It's in one hour. So you only get one hour. So you only get one part of a day. Nine miles in an hour. And they can briefly reach up to 15 miles an hour when they're flapping their wings. Me too. I could beat a rooster off like a 40-yard dash if he's not using his wings. What about you? I don't know. I'm trying to think of an animal that I could really— I think anything at Petco. That's not true. Anything that's cage at a Petco A pony I could beat Pony? Oh, I don't know Those small ponies are quick No, ponies are fast That's a good question What's a good animal I could beat?

1:25:21Probably something that's been using Yeah, what animals Can we see what animals run Beneath 10 miles per hour? Yeah Because I think I could run 10 miles an hour for A minute 30 So I don't know what that math is But I could do that Many animals run below 10 miles sloths, giant tortoises, koalas, banana slugs, snails. These all suck. First of all, what the hell is under the manatees? What the hell is a woodcock? Yeah, I'll fight a woodcock. What is that? I don't know. That's a good question. That's who should be starting the OF in the military. American woodcock. Oh, yeah. I'll race that thing. Look at the fucking beer belly on that thing.

1:26:03Oh, yeah. He needs to lay up the loggers. I'll race the balls off of that little midget. I'll raise the balls off that little air twink look at that thing I'll fucking I'll surf some seed right out of my fucking wiener to that thing I don't know how dude would you let that thing fucking reach into your wiener to get a piece of seed look at that look at that spout on him I feel like that would hurt but if I was if I was under anesthesia I guess what? like if like like if they were already like like if I had to get a colonoscopy and they were already like doing that you're like I'd let him fucking just sniff in there for a second and see what's going on, bro.

1:26:41It's like the canary in the coal mine. Yeah, sir. Well, I think he should be doing more kind of the gyno stuff. Like the contraptions they have to use to check out the insides of a woman. I mean, they seem so industrial. They seem like they found it in a warehouse in like a GMC in like 1960s. It's like a clamp. It also feels like disrespectful to the woman. We're like, yeah, we just got to go and open up in there. This is a Trans Am? Yeah, like they use one of those things that they used to use to like - Lift your car up. Yeah. But like that's - To keep a fire going, you know? Like sometimes they'll use like an accordion, you know?

1:27:17I know, dude. It's tough. It's definitely ridiculous. Oh, we don't need to look at all that. That's crazy. Well, it's also - Yeah, that bird is kind of what it's replicating, I feel like. That bird does the gynos of the nest. That bird's a party bird. Yeah. Did you see the - You saw 6ix9ine is going to the same prison as Maduro. Did you see that? He's in there with Luigi, Diddy, Maduro. I don't know if that's true, but I saw it on a meme. That's crazy. But I guess it makes sense to keep them all in the same person. Let me see what this 6ix9ine Maduro is saying. Arrested President Maduro and his wife.

1:27:51That's crazy, right? So it's a mad thing. So I got the call. I love how he's doing PR for jail. He's doing a podcast run to promote jail. Oh, somebody texted me saying that they think that when they send me to prison on Tuesday, me and Maduro is going to be in the same unit. But do you think he's going to prison for PR? Like, why is he even, what is he going, what charges is he there for? That's a great question. What charges is he there for? I wonder if he'd be a good guest whenever he gets out, you think? Yeah. Have you ever met him? Mm-mm. I never met him. rapper Tekashi69 has faced various charges primarily stemming from his association with the Nine Trey Bloods what's he going to jail for right now and jail sentence in early 2026 received another three month sentence for new violations including having cocaine and ecstasy in his Miami home and punching a man who taunted him well sometimes you gotta do that but damn yeah I think it could be interesting to see what his life is like and stuff they should give him like a twitch stream from jail yeah if he's on a run here that'd be wild well i just feel like everything is going to start merging they're gonna have to start funding like if if the government can't keep things going they're gonna everything is gonna have to be started be funded kind of privately or by people or by like you know so i wouldn't be surprised if you start to see like twitch streams from jail i wouldn't be surprised if you start to see like um the army uh or the military start to like have stream or have um yeah content right like i just think that that stuff's gonna kind of grow a lot you know like i'll be on tiktok live just and it'll just pop up and there's like always and if you're chronically online you've seen this on tiktok they'll just show like a bar like it's just like behind the bartender and he's just working and there's just a bar yeah for what and they're like monetizing that they're just showing security camera of places yeah and just getting money from it oh dude i used to watch like uh these like in like different funerals from different countries You can watch Indian funerals and stuff, and they have streams of it on YouTube or just long clips of it.

1:30:01It's neat to have kind of like a thing you can just watch. It just blows my mind, like the effect of live. If somebody was like, hey, here's a 20-minute video, I don't want to watch that, but they're like, here's a stream, you'll end up watching 20 minutes in the blink of an eye. Well, let's go a little bit more into that prison. Who else was in there? Who else has been in there? Is there any articles on it? Is Hasbulla in there? Hall of Fame. Is he in or out of jail? He's got those RICO charges. Hezboula? Yeah, doesn't he? He has a twin sister. You know that? No, I didn't know this. Hezboula has a twin sister?

1:30:32Yes, Hezboula Magomedov was arrested in his native Dagestan in May 2023 for traffic violations. Of course. He couldn't reach the pedals. What are we even talking about? Including blocking a road and doing donuts with friends while celebrating a wedding. Bro, put him in a Waymo and call it a day. First of all, you have to know that if he gets into a car, he just shut the road down for a couple minutes. Unless it's a Fisher-Price. What car was he whipping in? He was released under house arrest after being granted bail and had to wear an ankle monitor around his neck. No way. They just turned him into a Rottweiler.

1:31:12Do you think being on house arrest— I made that part up. He later apologized for the incident, stating he wasn't driving and promised it wouldn't happen again. I love that in their country there's such a code of honor you can just at least promise that it won't happen again that's awesome I mean do you think being on a house arrest as a smaller person is like nice? I bet it's kind of nice especially for a busy guy like him because he just gets a little bit of time to himself Al Sharpton's locked up notable inmates that have been held at MDC Brooklyn Metropolitan Detention Center in Brooklyn has gained significant notoriety for housing and an unusually high concentration of high-profile federal defendants, including Maduro, Luigi Mangione, Diddy, R.

1:31:54Kelly, Sam Bankman-Fried, El Chapo, Michael Cohen, Ghislaine Maxwell, Martin Shkreli, and Al Sharpton. Wow. Did you carry Sam Bankman-Fried? Sam Bankman-Fried. I just thought it was funny that he named his two last names for the two things that he was. He was like this bank man, and then he was also fried all the time. That's right there. So to me, it was like the most perfect. He's in jail for. What did he do again? He might be out now. Sam Brankton was convicted and sentenced to 25 years in prison while for orchestrating massive fraud at his crypto exchange. FTC found guilty of seven counts, including wire fraud, conspiracy to commit fraud.

1:32:34Yep, he's in there. So he'll be in there for a while. I feel like the NFT people are kind of like NFTs got so swept under the rug. But there were so many people who pulled massive money from that and just kind of. they made like nfc like clubs and nfc like and then that all just disappeared yeah and nobody talks about it um did you see the new uh this is the new way that they're thinking that incarceration could happen this is with ai and technology this is fascinating see if you can find that story of the pods what is this yes the future of incarceration this is no longer about us honestly i think it's too late but it's about our generations to come your children your grandchildren, your great-grandchildren.

1:33:10There is a company called Cognify. If you Google it and watch their video, and it's the future of incarceration, is what it's titled. With this Cognify system, let's say you do a crime, or maybe you act out against the government, or you have a belief system that is not consistent with the country that you live in, and you are prosecuted for a crime by their definition. You will then get an opportunity that you, let's just use this for hypothetical, a measly petty theft. You can spend 50 years in prison, or you can go through the Cognify process, which in three minutes, they will imprint memory sets.

1:33:44So let's say there was someone who was even harmed by the crime that you did. You will be able to feel the emotions of your victim, the emotions that the family members went through, all of that. You will be forced to have the empathy and you will feel like you've been imprisoned for 25 years or whatever it may be, but it's only three minutes. Fuck that. They need that. They need that shit for when my girlfriend comes up to me after she had her period the next day and goes, I'm so sorry about last night. I'm on my period. Okay, well, you need to feel what I was feeling last night for getting yelled at.

1:34:11Get into the Cognify machine. But dude, eventually if they have an at home one, that'd be crazy. But this is saying, this is like reverse ice bathing. Like sit in this and feel awful about yourself. But this is saying that if you did a crime and if you could have, I'm guessing it's probably something you have to afford. If you could afford Cognify, then you'd be able to go and serve your sentence in Cognify, you would have all the things that would really feel like in your brain had happened. And in five minutes, you could do 20 years. That's so fascinating, because one, you could pay off the guy who hits the buttons.

1:34:42And then he's like, all right, here we go. And you're like, oh, ooh, ow, it's hurting. Well, I mean, I think, here it says, Cognify is a futuristic prison concept proposed by scientist Hashem al-Gay. He's the newest member of FaZe Clan, by the way. Yeah, yeah, yeah. that uses AI and brain implants to replace long sentences with brief, intense rehabilitation. So it's almost like an EMDR, but extremely deep into your brain. AI generated memories, artificial vivid memories are created by AI to simulate the impact of a crime on victims. Dude, this would be crazy. Inmates experience years of remorse and understanding in a short time, allowing for quicker release and reintegration.

1:35:20I mean, it kind of makes sense because that's what you're supposed to be there for. I just wonder how long would that stay, you know? And what if you just go into prison for like a little while and it's just a bunch of, you don't learn anything. It's just a bunch of dudes that's run a train on you or whatever. That would be my scary thing. Like you use up for three minutes and now you're just limping. Yeah, dude. What if you get out and you're like, and then your wife lies. She's like, yeah, I left while you were gone. You were gone so long. You're like, I was gone for two songs on Spotify. Yeah, dude.

1:35:48Well, that's the interesting part is like. What the fuck? And your son's like, yeah, we have a new stepdad. You're like, what? Bro, that would be the scary thing is what if they just bring you back and like. oh, yeah, man, you just got a couple of MS-13 guys got a hold of you, and now you're like El Gay or whatever, you know? And that would be the scariest part to me, bro. The crazy part is, like, if they're doing this in three minutes, it's like you leave your house at 10 a.m. You're like, oh, I committed this crime. I'm so sorry. You come back. You're back at noon, and all of a sudden you have all the remorse for, you know, burning down an Arby's.

1:36:20And now you're like, I didn't think the fry cook was still in there. and I like not now you just have this feeling and regret the rest of your life but you still have the rest of your life to like yeah but I think the shortcut it'll be a shortcut and I think it'll be for people that can afford it because here's what you'll be able to do people will the Arby's family they'll have some sort of like other part of it that's like an an attorney part of it where it's like okay you can make do right now you can pay restitution you burn down the Arby's you killed two you know a fry cook and um someone in the drive-thru refused to leave without their order even though the place was burning down and one other counter person so you can settle out of court with them all right now for three hundred thousand dollars and then it's just going to be like this fast track thing it's like yeah you're off the hook and you feel the remorse and you you you keep living so if you shoot someone you only you would you feel that person's pain i think they just want you to feel their so you would feel the pain of their family members and stuff like that they would have ways that they could embed that into you yeah i would fuck you up i mean both of those would fuck you up for life what do you do like tax fraud.

1:37:23Who's pain is that? You killed some people at an Arby's. You shouldn't just... Right, right, right. Right. It should fuck you up. Yeah, you shouldn't be off scot-free. So how would that work with like tax fraud? Like who... The government's... No. That's a good point. Maybe they wouldn't allow it for certain crimes. Mm. Or if they would be able to get the money back from you. I'm not sure. That's a good question. How fast would they do it? I feel like... I don't know. That's crazy. Yeah. But they probably are finding ways to speed up prison sentences But still have the same effects Well it seems kind of archaic the way that we do it It's like this guy's in there for 50 years Nothing ever happened It goes through all these boards So long And it's just such a drain on the system I'd love to find out more about that Because I know a lot of it is just some kind of money laundering thing Yeah, have you ever been to a prison?

1:38:17I don't think I have I've been in a jail What's the difference? I've never been to a prison A jail is just like a little gay-ass prison. Nobody's even getting gayed out or whatever in it. It's just people waiting for lunch and shit. People waiting for dick. Jails are local short-term facilities for those awaiting trial or serving sentences. You can't even find a gang in a jail, you know? You can find, like, one dude that'll, like, like... Like a pen pal to another gang. Yeah, you can find one dude who might fucking slip half a Hershey's under your door at night or whatever. But there's no long-term institution there.

1:38:49Those are more for prisons. Yeah, because they do so many tours when you go to different cities and you want to see where Elvis lives. I think they should tour jails for income. I'm just curious what's going on in there. I want to do an episode of Scared Straight, but I just want to see what's going on. I'm just curious. If there was a jail live stream on Twitch, I would watch every day. You'd never hear about anything there, so to watch it, it almost feels illegal. Well, there's a lot of shows about it now. People are into that type of viewing, I think, for sure. I don't know if I'd be good in jail, dude.

1:39:21I wouldn't. No? I'd fucking hate it. Unless my cellmate, like, had an, we could start a little band or something. I don't think I would be that good in there. If I had something to look forward to as, like, a group or whatever. Yeah. What would you do if you got approached by gang members? I'd have to join. Yeah. You could say, let me think about it for a day or two. But they're only going to probably give you two days. Yeah, I would treat it like I was a record label and I was a rapper. I'm just seeing what other offers I get. I think I would blind myself for something. So nobody's going to hurt a blind guy, I think.

1:39:51dude I feel like unfortunately that's the number one target cause you can't snitch so like what did he feel like knuckles yeah well I don't know I don't know I that'd be scary to me cause I don't know man I guess yeah you'd have to join a gang I would probably go Mexican gang I feel like it might be the food might be better I don't know I don't know if black gangs are making food in there I don't know what's the worst gang to join in there Prison gangs in the United States Aryan Brotherhood Black Guerrilla Mafia Mexican Mafia La Nuestra Familia Texas Syndicate That sounds kind of like new and novel All these sound like a really good NFL league And the netas For the XFL Oh yeah If they bring the XFL back Start with these teams The Tennessee type shit dude Put them in there The Tennessee fightons Dude they should have more They gotta start putting these people into teams doing something.

1:40:51There's got to be a better way. It's all going to happen, man. Everything's merging. Everything's getting weird. Yes. It's all becoming long John Silver's and Baskin Robbins, dude. There's no, it's all becoming the army fans. It's all starting to merge. We're going to start to see this kind of stuff a lot, you know, but I think they should take all the inmates and like give them some athletic thing to look forward to. And then they can stream it. It's like, I would absolutely watch the Texas syndicate versus the Puerto Ricans. Oh yeah. If you had a basketball game tonight, that's what I'm saying.

1:41:17Like It was a lot of new ways for Familia versus the Aryan Brotherhood at 9 p.m. First one to 11. No three-pointers. Dude, I would fucking watch that in a heartbeat. I feel like the A-B is only hitting threes. They're not doing the work and the paint. It beats the big three fucking league in a heartbeat. But you should put one of these leagues into the big three league. They got to start to just diversify. But I'm saying, like, if these guys even just play, like, that might bring some unity. It's like UFC. They talk shit before the fight. Then after the game, they, like, dap up. They're like, I have nothing but respect for this guy.

1:41:44I love this guy. maybe there could be some of that where like if they're playing each other they're shit talking sure but afterwards type shit type shit and then they can stream it and you can watch it on like Rumble or wherever Paramount Plus or something but like I feel like Nick Fuentes would host it probably I mean I think he would probably do it especially if it's on Rumble he's like their lead guy over there yeah I like there's gotta be a way because they would also probably feel like imagine being in jail but like everyday you're training for a game on Saturday like you have something to look forward to I agree.

1:42:15That's the kind of stuff you need in there. Even though you're a murderer, you still, like, yeah. Murder them threes, bitch. Boom. From downtown, because shots went in downtown. He's a killer, yeah. Shots fired, that's one of his names. Dude, they'd have cool-ass names, too. Stabby for three. Yeah. Like Bobby Lee always makes that sound. Before we get out of here, how's... You have a special coming out. I'm shooting one in March. I'm shooting a special March 13th and 14th in Arizona. In Phoenix. Yeah, in Phoenix. Nice. Super excited. It's going to be sick. Phoenix is just a great comedy town. I'm really excited.

1:42:49I might go shoot my special there maybe. It's not a bad idea. It's a great city. It's a great city. It's, I mean, you're out here now, but like it's so close to LA. And I've just never, some states like, I'll say Ohio is a hit or miss state for me. Sometimes you're like, this is the best show of my life, almost special. Or you're like, cool, give me to the top of La Quinta with cement shoes. So you're like always in between. I am on tour right now. I'm doing the Ryman tomorrow. If you want to do a spot, I would love to have you on there. That'd be sick as fuck. Yeah, man, maybe I'll pop out. I haven't been on stage in a while.

1:43:20Really? Yeah. Dude, I mean, the crowd would just literally nut 28 miles per hour to see you do five minutes. But Phoenix, I'll come out. I'll come out. Yeah. And then I'm doing the Will Turn, which I opened for you at the Will Turn a couple of years ago. That's a great, great spot. Yeah, I'm doing a bunch. I have like 30. You got Ventura, Cleveland. You got a lot of good spots. all California. I'm doing Reno. I'm doing a lot of places I've never done before, like Oakland, Reno, Memphis, Fresno, Bakersfield, San Luis Obispo, Sacramento. You guys got to go see them, man. It's a great, it's just entertaining.

1:43:51It's great energy, the whole set. Yeah, dude, you're so great up there, bro. Make sure to send me this too so I can share it on socials too whenever after today or after this episode goes up. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Please, everyone else, man. And your tour is called Trevor Wallace Presents Alpha Beta Male? Alpha Beta Male. Yeah, just because I feel like my brain is split in between being this alpha male versus this beta male. I find just more unity between both of them. And I feel like every decision I make has an alpha side versus a beta side in me. It's not like one of those red pill, blue pill type shows, but it is just a funny thing to be like, people are, are you this or are you that?

1:44:26I feel like I'm kind of in between. Yeah. A lot of fun out there. Yeah, dude. I think it also happens as you grow up a little bit too. It's like you kind of get two sides of it, you know? it's like you know there's days you're like you know yeah it's always used to be like i'll bust a nut wherever you know what i'm saying i'll bust a nut at this fucking party or whatever i'm like fuck you know yeah you know dude i remember i went to a one-year-old's birthday party this is at a time when like you know when i was dealing with sobering and relapsing i went to a one-year-old's birthday party and ended up buying cocaine there somehow from the one-year-old from an adult they're like blow out the candles and you hear the word blow and you're like where yeah i don't know just show you anything can happen out there man yeah i just feel like my brain has like it's more so like all there's there's a second guessing element to almost everything that i do where it's like the example i i say on stage is like i've had this thought before like i wanted to like spit in a girl's mouth but then another thought was like but what if i miss yeah but but like that's not how dirty talk works that's not like how being hot in the bed works it's like you just do it yes you have to be that yeah you have to be present but but Or I'm scared to slap a girl's ass in the bed because I'm like, sometimes you don't get the pop and you get the dud.

1:45:40Sounds like you're just trying to get the dog on the couch. And for me, I'm trying to like So I overthink everything. It's so embarrassing too when you get the dud. They hear it too. A good person you're dating won't address it. A bitch will be like What the fuck? That's when you have to yell out, that was loud, huh? Yeah. Or that's when you yell out, be like, you probably need some lotion. It's a little dry back here. Yeah, damn. Or you do what like dads do when they're like moving into a house and they just start checking like, how's this the structure? Yeah. Getting a dud is, but like, but literally that's all my thought process is, is like there's a part of my brain that's like slap ass.

1:46:20But then the other parts, it's like, what if you get a dud? Yeah. What if you miss a little, you get a little fire, you hit that bone. That's crazy. That's assault. Yeah. It's literally assault. Yeah, dude. and then now you're like how am I gonna bust at 27 miles an hour now and then it comes out like 12 miles an hour it's dude I'm like I'm probably the most one of the most in my head guys I can be and I just like once I start thinking about that like and this is more graphic but we're like pretty deep into the podcast if I start thinking oh no I'm not gonna be able to bust then I can't oh it's all mental for me like like if a girl even says like are you gonna be able to then it's out the window because now it's all I'm thinking about or if I get too hot I gotta run into the fucking sink like a little gopher.

1:47:02Oh, if the AC comes on or whatever? Oh, yeah. Well, the AC is a little G-A-Y, blunt on your back. Well, the fan on it, people who could come with the fan on, I thought those are Navy SEALs, dude. Anybody who can have - Probably Air Force. Yeah, I said this on stage. It's like anybody who can have sex with a fan on is a fucking, yeah, that's Air Force, dude. Bro, you deserve to have an OnlyFans and support our country. Why would you want to make the room colder to now? Like that's going to make things probably smaller, I'm guessing. Oh, but it's just crazy to have. Just anybody who could have sex with a fan on is insane.

1:47:35It's literally like a cuck situation because you're like, who's this other man in the room? Oh, yeah, it's a ceiling fan. Yeah, I couldn't do it. A lot of pressure, dude. But I do that with everything. Career-wise, I overthink everything. But it helps you, dude. You're meticulous. That's what it is. It is. And it keeps you where you are. And it's like, you know, your career started off so hot. And a lot of times you see guys like that and it's hard for them to figure it out, you know. How long were you doing content before you got into stand-up? I was doing stand-up first. Oh, you were? Yeah, but maybe...

1:48:03But you've still only been doing it now, like what, seven years? Ten. Oh, have you really? Yeah. Oh, fuck, I'm losing every... No, you're good, man. You're good. I don't know why you'd know that. How is everything going with Busboys? Busboys is good, dude. It's going to come out in a couple of weeks. Oh, no. It's going to come out in a couple of months. Really? So I think we're going to go into theaters. Oh, fuck yeah. And then it looks like, and we're figuring that out right now. And then we'll probably go direct to consumer to direct to people. Any streamer? I don't know. That probably happens after you go theaters and then a buyer.

1:48:35We'll see. I think it's also you have to present to them when it's fully done and show them what it looks like, you know. So it's been a long, it's been a learning curve. It's been a lot. It's been a lot of stuff. You realize it's like, oh, this is a big undertaking. But I realize it could be a lot easier next time. Yeah. And we had a lot of things that were like in the way and made things tough too. Like the fires moved everything at the last minute by a week and just all these little things that change everything. But learned a ton, self-financed it. We made it ourselves, you know, and like wrote it ourselves and completely like, so that, that part, I think I feel really excited about.

1:49:11And I think it should be, I think it's good. I'm just, you know, you've seen it so many times. You're like, I don't even know what's going on here, but you're in it. I'm in it. I'm dude. I forget. It's been so long. I'm so happy that I got a tap for that. I watched the full thing, and it's like, I think the storyline is so there. It's like, it's dumb to say, but you're like, yeah, this is a movie. It's not like somebody who tried to make a movie. It's like, this is a movie. Like, this is a start-to-finish movie. Yeah. And the storyline, I was impressed. It's not groundbreaking, but it also was our first time doing it.

1:49:41It was like, we had to make sure that this piece matches with this piece. But I do think it moves quick, and it was funny. It was a lot of great cameos and stuff in it. I love the cameos. The Kimis are great, man. And it's, but yeah, it's like, even when I saw the trailer, Spade showed me at the improv between all of his Raya matches, but he showed me. No, he does. No. No, he does. He's got them. But even the trailer, like as dumb as this sounds, I'm like, dude, this is a movie trailer. Yeah. Like, even if I had, I don't even know. Like, I could just be a random guy with a Radio Shack and I watch it.

1:50:15I'm like, dude, this fucking movie looks sick. Right. Like it feels everything like a movie. So any doubt you have, just because I know you're very. I feel more, I think a lot. Yeah. I don't want to slap the bone, you know? Right. But as an outsider perspective, like, dude, this is a fucking movie, movie, movie. So like the fact it's going into theaters and then direct, like I'm fired up. You think I should feel confident about that? Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, dude, there it is. There it is. Yeah. It was fun. I can't even believe it all happened. Right. I mean, it was a crazy time in the year and this all happened so fast.

1:50:45and it was like 23 days in a row we shot and it was just a fucking, it was a lot, dude. But you crushed it. We gotta do something again. Please, man. Let's get this out so we can make a new one, huh? Type shit. I know, and that's the thing. Like, you know, it's just, I have so many ideas that I hold onto and I shoot it for so long. By the time I go to like pose, I'm like, what the fuck even is this? So art has like an expiration date, it feels like for the artist. But it's like, once you put it out there, it's like how you felt making it, that's how it should be perceived a little bit. That, what is that book?

1:51:12I'm blanking on his name. it's a great book with the circles on it rick rubin have you read the book what's it called he's great though he has a book and it's all about just uh yeah the creative act dude i really love this book it's uh the creative act a way of being check it out have you had him on the pod i haven't he would be a great guest i would like to see great clips of him he's just his whole perception on art is like put it out and once it's out like you at one point you love the project don't let the outcome dictate how it is like when you when you started writing it you loved it when you were when you were creating with your friends you loved it so but i i apply it to a lot of videos because at one point when filming it or writing it or editing or all that i loved it and then if i post it and doesn't do well i go ah fuck the video sucked to go no no but like i i had the care for it at one point and it's sometimes you sit on projects for so long that you lose that care so it's it's it's important to kind of put those things out before and it's not that you lose that care, but your life just changes.

1:52:11Yeah. And what you find funny in 2024 versus 2025 is different. So yeah, sometimes it's tough to keep something going, but also you're right to remember like, man, at one time I had so much faith in this and believed in this and I knew it was good. Right. Yeah. And I still think you should. Yeah. I really do. Thanks, bro. I think I needed to hear something like that too. We're looking at some last like coloring scenes right now. You should do a small screening in Nashville and just like not anybody who will just glaze who's like, oh, fuck Theo. Like, just like literally like 30 people and just show it and just be like, what were your takeaways?

1:52:46Yeah. What'd you like? What felt good? What felt? We probably need to do that soon. Maybe we'll do one out in LA too, man. Yeah, absolutely, man. Let you know when we do it. Yeah, I'm super excited for that to come out. You got the tour right now. We'll share those on our socials as well. That'd be awesome, man. Yeah, I'll come out tomorrow night and do a set. You want to do it? Yeah. Fuck yeah. Who else is on the show? Blasting? Zach Townsend. You know him? Zach Townsend and I think John Chris is doing a set Dude it's gonna be Nationals Finals It's gonna be like they're gonna take a screenshot Of this and put it up next to that New York City Prison post and they're like dude They had Mom Dami in that pit I don't know who's up in there Thanks so much for coming bro Yeah congrats on everything thanks for the inspiration dude Yeah you just always keep on going dude You keep staying creative and it's great to see I'm glad we get to catch up That means a lot coming from you like holy shit You got no choice not to Just keep it going Hey this is it God bless Thank you for having me Gang gang Gang gang That was like a Nardwar sign off Nardwar That was like a Nardwar sign off Gang gang Good night Nardwar We're Nardwar Now I'm just floating on the breeze And I feel I'm falling like these leaves I must be cornerstone Oh but when I reach that ground I'll share this peace of mind I found I can feel it in my bones But it's gonna take