#638 - Kevin James

25:34Maybe he could Pepsi for a second. Hey, quiet down. Bad joke. It's the question that Pepsi's putting out there. Is your cola choice actually about taste? Because they redid the Pepsi challenge in 2025. And guess what? 66 % of people chose Pepsi Zero Sugar over Coca-Cola Zero Sugar. And it just makes you think, if nobody told you what you were supposed to like, what would you actually choose? The public has spoken and Pepsi Zero Sugar tastes better than Coca-Cola Zero Sugar. If you're curious, go try Pepsi Zero Sugar. Let your taste decide. When your comedy first started, was it just something you wanted to do?

26:20Do you know it kind of? I know it's such an old question, but you and I don't really know each other. I didn't know what I wanted to do. I knew when I got out of college, I left college. I didn't finish. I went home for the summer and my brother started doing improv. and I was like, I was bouncing at the time and I didn't know what I wanted to do but I didn't want to do this. I just wanted to try something and I always follow him into other things so he'd be like, ah, you're coming into, you know, whatever it is, you know. So I ended up doing a small community theater play and I said this, you know, then I started doing an improv group with him and their buddies and I fell in love with it and then it just progressed into stand-up.

27:00Now, I did my first stand-up, first night was in 1989 July 26 1989 that's how long I've been doing it and uh no I loved it I mean and uh I I crushed the first night I ever did it which I'm thankful for yeah because the second night I ate it so bad with the same material and I didn't know you know and if I would have ate it first I think I never would have done it again but uh so I'm thankful that I did okay and then uh no I love it man I love it and then you know just was your brother weird about it that you came in and liked his thing? No, you know what? I got to say, he was really cool about it.

27:35He actually, he would tell me, you want to do this? Okay, if you want to do this, come and do it. And I would start to do it. You know, back then, we would buy these calendars completely empty, and I was working at Granger, and it was like my last day job. I was like, I wanted to get it. Granger the equipment? Yes. That's what I did. I was in the back, and it was hot as can be, and I had to fill orders, and I hated everything about it because it was miserable. I was just trying to work my way up to the air conditioning. He has hella mice in there, too. There's everything in there. So I'm just driving a forklift and I'm working hard and I'm trying to get, fill my calendar with these standup dates.

28:10And it would just be like once a week or whatever it is. And then my brother called me one night and he goes, what are you doing tonight? And I go, I'm staying home. And he's like, what? Cause you have to sign up for open mic nights. Yeah, you gotta sign up sometimes in advance or that sort of thing. You gotta get there early. He's like, why aren't you out at the club tonight? And I go, I didn't get a spot. He's like, that doesn't matter. So what? Why aren't you going out there making something happen? Go look. And, you know, somebody falls out or you meet somebody or talk to somebody. And I'm like, all right.

28:35And I went that night and I met somebody and I became like my first agent. And so he was right, man. He helped me, you know, a lot in that. And he was cool with helping me out. And he was the funny one, you said? Yes, he was. I mean, we're all funny. The whole family was funny. He was the first one to start it, like, to get going that direction. It's interesting how, like, that happens. And I was like, yeah, like my brother was a funny guy. And so I think that's why, like, you know, I think I'm why I wanted to be like that. I think you're just trying to like, did your brother do standup? No, he was just like, probably just desperate for attention like me, but he was also, you know, he, he was a funny guy.

29:11Right. There are a lot of funny guys in school that were like, he didn't get a standup. Oh, dude. Right. That would be, I'm like the best. That'd be the best. And I'm so glad you didn't do it. Oh, dude. My friend Scott was like the funniest kid to me. And I'm like, I am. Some of the people are like, Dio, you're funny. I'm like, dude, there's so many people who just never really just went and did it. Because, I mean, honestly, being funny with your company and making that leap to doing it in front of people and developing, it is a different thing, though. It's like you've got to create it and kind of get used to.

29:40It's a different animal, right? Oh, yeah. Because I know my buddies are so funny. I got a buddy who's so funny, but when he does it, I go, do that impression in front of someone else. He can't do it. He folds like a house, man. Oh, yeah. he's just, it's rough, it's rough, and I look bad. Oh, dude, the worst is when, oh, sometimes you do look bad because of other people. I remember this. I dated this girl. She didn't know how to stand out of the way of where people were walking. See, that would drive me nuts. Bro, I would have to go hide in the fucking bathroom. No, that's brutal. We'd be talking.

30:16She would, like, take a step back. I'm like, this is where all the people are walking. And it was like, and people bump into her. and then guys would like, you know, and then it just like, oh. I dated a girl who would take five seconds before she would realize that a waiter is there asking her for like something. And every time and I'd have to go, he's looking, you know, and she'd just be like this in a daze every time, five seconds. And then she'd come out of it and I'm like, I can't go on. I can't go on. I couldn't be married to that. So it was like, there's no use of me being here. It's the little things.

30:46Dude, I dated a girl that I was in love with and then we were kind of like canoodling or snuggling or whatever they used to call it. I think they don't call it, I don't know why they don't call it that, but we're canoodling, I guess now it's called. And then, but her head was really small. She had big hair and her head was so small. Yeah. And I was like, I felt. Did you like that though? Or did you just, it was like, it was a point where you go, I want to help her and be with her? Or, you know, or is it like that small? Or like. No. Like, like a, like, like how small though? Like it was just. Like a ballpoint pen?

31:19Or are we talking like. You know that day when you only knew about baseball, and then one day you're at PE and they show you softball? Yes, okay. And you get that ball, and you're like, what the – what is this? You know? And you're like, oh, this is like a baseball with like intestinal issues or whatever. Right. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, it's a baseball with inflammation. Yes, yes. It's a baseball that has – yeah, that has not had proper dieting. My heart melts for – the physical things more. but I dated a girl once who would just say the phrase rattle your cage every time she's like hey and I'm like what are you doing and she's like I'm just calling to rattle your cage and I'm like I can't go on that's a buddy of mine it's a joke oh it is it happened to a buddy of mine but that is a thing that I would literally get out of wouldn't that be something like hey just calling to rattle your cage I would fucking rattle my phone against the wall I would rattle my freaking head Off a balcony Dude yes I would also I dated a girl We would be sleeping She'd get up in the middle of the night Put a bunch of M &Ms and chocolate in her mouth And come right back in her fucking bed She said like sometimes I can't fall back asleep Unless there's chocolate in my mouth And I was like that's crazy Yeah there's a lot of problems with that But that was crazy dude I had a girl who made me roll her up in a blanket So she could go to bed at night Dorito style?

32:47Yeah. Or like the lumpia. Yeah. No way. Like the lumpia. Yeah. I had a girl just, I didn't even realize that until just now. Did you have to unroll her in the morning or you just left and, no? You just leave her? Look, dude, I didn't even know her that well. You can't get out. Yeah, yeah. You get out on your own wrist. She doesn't have claustrophobic issues, though. You know that. So if you're ever stuck in an elevator with her, she's the one you want to be with. She's dynamite. Yeah, you're right. I need to look at the other side of the coin. Yes. But definitely. There's always a bright side.

33:14Yeah. I sometimes get stuck on the other side and I'm like I know it's brighter over there but let me mill around over here in the shadows I mean little head burrito girl all these things can be there is a positive side to it right? oh yeah yeah that was a lot for me but then also I'm like I don't know but there's a lot of things that I think have probably kept me kind of single over the years did you ever try one of those matchmaking services or no? Because I get approached by those all the time now. I was before them, I think. Maybe they existed, but I mean, I was before I think the internet and all that crap.

33:53You know, I got married in 2000, what is it, 3 or 4? Is it what was going on? 2004 I got married. Was that, what was around then? I don't even know if anything was around, but I never used them anyway. Yeah, how would you meet people? Just loitering or whatever? Yeah, it was you know, we tried I mean, I met my wife on a blind date. Someone set me up because Leah Remini, who was on my show with me, the King of Queens, she saw that I had nobody and she set me up with... No, so it was one of her good friends, huh? No, it wasn't her. She set me up. She didn't set me up with a girl. She did over the years.

34:28She tried to. But she set me up with a house decorator because she came to my... When we had the King of Queens, I got my first place in and she saw how it was decorated and it was terrible. I had like prong lamps and posters. Like I was living with my brother and it was like, she's like, no, you can't do this. You can't decorate a half forward. So she got a decorator for me, which I never knew about or anything like that. It wasn't me. And this decorator came into my life and she was a horrible decorator, but she set me up. She really was. She wasn't great either. I didn't like it, but she, she saw that I was lonely and like I had nobody.

35:01And she, she set me up with somebody she knew. And, and it was like, uh, it was amazing. Did it change like that for you when you kind of realize like this is something? because it's funny how you people go from a moment. I have a friend. She's a comedian. She was like, I don't know what's going to happen. You know, I'm going to sell my eggs or I'm going to bury them over here or whatever, you know. And then out of the blue, one day I called her. She's like, yep, I'm moving to Florida. We're getting married. And it's just like. It can turn on a dime. That's the thing. It can. That's the thing you got to remember.

35:29And by the way, I think most of the time it does when you're not trying, right? I mean, the thing where you're not looking. Yeah, that's what they say. Right? I don't know. I think for me it did. I was just kind of long. And she was like, try. And I was like, oh, I'll give it a shot. Never thinking anything would come of it. And then I never left her. That was it. Were you kind of a romantic guy? Are you kind of like that guy? No, I don't think so. I had to fake. Like, she wanted to go out. And we went to a sushi restaurant the first night. And I never ate sushi. So she's like, do you eat sushi?

35:58I go, yeah. I lied right out of the gate. Oh, yeah. Just because, you know, I wanted to make things smooth. and we got there and it was just a rough. It was everything you don't want to eat at a sushi restaurant made an appearance. It was rough. And I had to fake it and get through it, but I was drinking a lot of beer to get through it and kind of taking it. I was taking it like a pill, you know, like I would take the sushi like a pill. Yes. And I got through that night. You're holding your nose. I was lying about everything. She's like, do you jog in the morning? I go, I jog every morning. I never jogged.

36:32We started jogging. I was like, what the? I got to keep it up. And finally, we were close enough where I go, I got to tell you some things here. I don't do a lot of the stuff we've been doing, you know? I sit a lot more than we have been sitting. And that was it. I was like, and she, you know, I was in enough of the relationship, though, there where she was, like, good with it. You know what I'm saying? Like, we knew each other. So she's like, okay. And then the active things kind of fell off, and it was fun. That's cool, man. Yeah. You got to, yeah. Yeah, I mean, how hard are you looking right now?

37:05Right now, I'm actually trying to— You don't need to get back into it again. I know you don't want to— Yeah, no, I'm actually just trying to take a step back right now, and I'm just going to spend a little bit of time with myself and see what's kind of going on. You working out? You taking care of yourself? Yeah, I'm doing pretty good, man. I'm fasting today, actually. That's cool. You fast? I fasted yesterday. Did you? Yes. Let's go. Let's go, baby. Dude, yeah, I fasted today. I fasted, let me see. I did like three days last week. I just got into it this year, and so it's been interesting. I feel super dehydrated today, but it's like some days that happens.

37:33That's the biggest thing. You've got to replace the water. And by the way, if you do fast, the next day you don't go to Nashville. Just Nashville. I just went to the deli here and crushed it. It was great. Well, that's the thing. I bounce back and forth. I can do a day fasting, and then the next day you should just kind of be good on your body because it's like it digests it. It's feeling good, and then you can't put crap back in. So I've got to stop doing that. That's obviously the battle for me, the food. but that's awesome that you're fasting. Yeah, I like it. What do you fast for? Because you don't need to lose weight.

38:03So you're fasting for? Just for health reasons, just because they say like autophagy your body gets into, and then it helps fight like cancer cells and things like that, like your body starts taking care of itself. And because my brain gets clear, I have noticed – it's funny. I just noticed this the other day. I think I'm having dreams that seem more relevant to like direction in my life and like some sort of like information, not all the time, but a little bit more than just like dreaming that I'm like attacking somebody with a, you know, like fighting a neighbor. Exactly. Regular shit or waiting in line or whatever.

38:39Yes, yes. But - You have dreams of waiting in line? Oh, yeah, dude. Lou Ferrigno's in a lot of them. No. Yeah. You and Lou Ferrigno are waiting in a line? Yeah, at the post office and his wife's mad at him. No, at him or you? Yeah, at him. Are you in front of him or behind him? Huh? I'm behind him. Yes Yeah and I knew it was him So you see it going on Yeah You see the whole relationship And then is the lady behind the counter going like next Or you never get there We're not that far up No You never get there We never get there Dude that is the greatest dream of all time It took Dude I've had I probably had it 300 times Where I finally was able You ever had a dream so many times You're just on the edge Yeah When you wake up You're like what Yeah I've had it so many times What is it you know And you're like it's horseradish You know Yes Dude yeah That's one of a big one for me I love it but recently I've been getting, I've just been getting a little more information.

39:28Anyway, I just think it's, I feel clear in a lot of ways. It's helping me feel a little bit more inspired. I think to take care of myself because I think it starts to show me that I'm willing to make some sacrifices, even in little ways that, that's what it is. Yeah. And that's, have you done it? You're a, yeah, I did fasting. Like I do it every once in a while, I'll do it, but I did a really long one and, and it was great. And then I got fat again. I told Rogan this. I did 41 and a half days. Damn. Just water. But honestly, I didn't rid myself of, like I was doing it for like different, like spiritual reasons.

40:07Like I wanted to clear out everything. And because the whole journey I was watching like food, pictures of food and going, this is what I'm going to eat when I'm done. I can't wait to get back there. I never really broke the habit of going, I don't need food. It doesn't matter. I would feed, you know, I would cook food for my kids and the smell of food, I'd be like, hey, can I make you a sandwich? Because I was living through that. And I wouldn't eat it and I was fine with that. But I needed to see the food and hold it. I'd smell it, you know, and then I'd hand it off. And it didn't break the real bind, you know what I'm saying, the cord of being detached from stuff.

40:45And that's what I got to do in my life with everything, you know, because I'm an addicted guy. Like, I'll just be like, I got to cut it off. That's it. Yeah. I think that's what I'm doing. Kind of do trying to do with dating right now is just like, let me take a break from like, if I put myself into a moment over here and I'm engaged, I mean this over here and then I'm going on maybe a date that I'm not interested in, but maybe over here, somebody I am interested in, but now I don't have time. Cause I'm kind of dividing it up. And then I'm like, I'm like, let me just see what's going on. You know, here at the factory, you know?

41:14Yeah. By the way, I had a dream that I was on the ledge of a building and I'm falling. I've had this one a few times. I'm falling, but I never leave the ledge. I'm just yelling the whole time like I'm falling down. You know what I'm saying? So I'm like, ah! But I never jumped. I'm just looking. Yeah. And then I wake up. That one comes back. Anyway, I just want to throw that in there. Fuck. And I'd be so pissed if I'm down there. I'm like, what is this? Yeah. Look at this poser. Yes, exactly. You're looking like, is he doing it? He's just yelling. He's giving up. You know, he's got all the accoutrement, but no fall.

41:46Dude, the weird guy at a suicide jump is the guy who's just waiting down there for the guy to jump. Yes, yes. Just like this, not doing anything. Arrest him. Yeah. That's what you should do because this guy's not either helping or pushing. You know, either one. He's not doing anything. He either run upstairs, do something, make a move, but he's just waiting. These are the people in life we don't need. Eating and the guy that's eating and waiting. Eating. If you get nachos and you're pulling up and you're waiting for a guy to jump. Yeah, you're like, hey, hey, hey. No, I can't. Give me 30 seconds.

42:15Let me grab this nachos. Ledge. To dream of standing on a ledge represents being on the verge of something. Is it? Yeah. You or someone else may be very close to finally making a big decision. You may be feeling tense or experiencing anxiety about a difficult change. Alternatively, a ledge may reflect how close you or someone else isn't close to going in a far stage. Wow. Shit, I messed up the sentence. That's okay. Because you know what? It still kind of hits the area. You know what I'm saying? I kind of got the gist of it. Yeah, thanks. Yeah, Rogan's crazy. Had you been on his show before? I did Joe's show.

42:49I've known Joe for maybe more than 35 years. Oh, wow. What's 1990? No, maybe 34 years. What is it? 1990 is 36 years, right? 26. That's so wild. Yeah. Yeah. He's the one who got me, I mean, really with my manager. and he's just, he's always been the guy that's just like, go follow your own path. And he was the one who got me out of, yeah, he got me out of. Did he always seem so confident? Yeah, he did. He just did. He was the one who got me out of, I was the stand-up comedian behind the mic with the sleeves pushed up and the bolo tie. I don't know if you remember these comics. These comics were the jackets, the funny jackets, the color.

43:37And he just wasn't that guy. He was just a hat backwards guy and just go out there. And he always telling me, like, don't. I was always, like, so desperate to get laughs and trying so hard. And he was like, you know, don't give them your jokes on a platter. He was the one who told me, like, basically make them comfortable in knowing that whatever you say you know is funny. And if they don't know, like, they got to catch up and be part of it. Right. Don't make it about the jokes. Make it be you that they're there for. Yes, yes. Yeah. He was such an influence on. So did other people see him? Because now people see him.

44:08I mean, and I certainly do like as a, you know, I don't know if it's a pioneer as much, but like, I mean, he's the best in his space, like in podcasting. His standup is just, I mean, he's just a killer. Like he's always been, you know, he's always, he just was like, he's super, super intense in anything he did. Like once he locks on doing it, I think just seems so confident. I told him, I think like when he, I think God's going to make him one of the greatest saints of the 21st century. I really do. I think this guy, and I keep saying, because God's going to use him. He's like, I don't know what the hell you're talking about.

44:40He just goes, and he seeks truth, and he's a guy that is just like, when he seeks it, he knows it's true. He's unrelenting. He just doesn't stop. Yeah. And it's like, he'll go social. He's crazy. I knew it was martial arts. It was jiu-jitsu. We started jiu-jitsu together, by the way. I'm a blue belt. I'm a blue belt 30-something years. He's crazy black belt. He's dark black belt. Dude, he's so, he's, he's a, he is badass. He is the real deal. He really is. And, uh, and he was getting into the internet before anybody and just searching these things in truth. And that, that, I mean, he was crazy about it.

45:21And I was just like, I never, I'm always behind the curve, way behind it. Well, we need sleep. I think he's like the kind of guy he's like, I don't know. He always just seems to me like he's so, and he and I know, he and I know each other pretty well now. but he just he's always go and he's so curious and he remembers everything that's the craziest thing you can't lie to him because he remembers everything so you're about to lie and you're like oh shit no he's and he'll call you that's what I love about it like you know even me like I'm there I've known him for 30 36 years now even doing his podcast it's like you gotta be careful because he'll be like what?

45:57what do you mean? and it's like a dog it's a dog that caught you and you're like and you gotta come you know But I love that because there's such an innocence behind that. He just wants to know the truth. He's like, that's not true. You didn't say that or you didn't do it. So you got to be careful. He's kind of an oracle. I don't know if it's an oracle, but he's kind of like a mirror of something. You know what I'm saying? There is something about that. I think it's super. I totally believe that. Some people give him a hard time, whatever. But to me, he's always seemed very altruistic as just to who he is, you know, or trying to be the best of who he is.

46:27That's it. Everybody falls. Everybody makes mistakes and does things wrong. but I know this guy is searching for truth, and he's always just calling it out. He's an astronaut, man. He's everything. Dude, yeah, I was at the UFC the other day, and he brings these big bags of beef snacks, and it's just beef and salt that's dried out beef. Because he wants to get down from 2 % to 1 % body fat? Is that it? Yeah, I thought he was doing something. Wow. He's always over there fucking, you know, drinking fucking bat saliva or something, doing something, trying to get an upper. but anyway yeah there it is carnivore snacks so he has three bags and he gave one to Daniel Cormier and then Daniel traded one of his and traded for what?

47:13I had a tub of popcorn and he couldn't keep away from it oh I love it he's like my hand just keeps ending up in there DC but anyway that was pretty great too but I got to eat a whole bag of those beef snacks by myself you know what they're really good they're not too salty so you don't get like chip fatigue, you know? Right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You don't get chip fatigue? Well, some of it's like you're chewing on the top of a shoe and it's just tiring. It's exhausting for the teeth. And it's not like jerky. Jerky to me sometimes at a certain point seems like, what are we doing here? Yes. It's a give up.

47:46You give up. Yeah. But this is nothing like that. That's cool. Yeah. And it feels kind of carnivorous, I guess, in a sense. Yeah. I enjoyed it. Right. But it's fun just seeing them over there with their snacks. But sometimes you'll see Daniel Cormier over there. He'll have a thing of summer sausage Yeah, yeah, yeah And it's freaking February He dips And he's over there just slicing it off I love it I love it He's a good man He's like me In that he loves his food He likes snacks I golf with him Yeah Are you golf with him? I did golf with him and Chris Wybin Chris Wybin loves you too, by the way Chris Wybin's a cool guy Yeah, he loves you I know Chris for Long Island guys Oh, yeah?

48:23Yeah So whenever you were training Was he training too then? Always training with him In their group Ray Long going over there. Dude, that's cool. Yeah, they're fun. They're a fun group. Long Island is tough guys, man. A lot of good guys came out of Long Island. Yeah. So, no, but it was, it's you know, fun. Him and D.C. we all went out and golfed and had a blast and, oh, does that me next to Wyman? Yeah, Wyman's That you? Wyman is hilarious, dude. He's got the best energy, bro. Yeah, he's a great guy. He's incredible and yeah, he They have a great show now that they do, too. Yes. He was just telling me that.

48:59They're doing more and more with him. And I said, man, I'm so happy that he stopped fighting. I want a mole to stop fighting because I don't want anybody to get hurt. You get to know all these guys. You're like, please don't fight anymore. That's why I stopped watching. I don't go anymore. I used to go all the time. Oh, you did? With Rogan. Dude, I would go to these fights before anybody was even there. Oh, wow. I would hear the stomping on the canvas. There'd be nobody there. Dude, that's when I go. Yes, I love that. I go in the beginning. it and you hear a crack of a, you know, a fist into a jaw or something.

49:30And I loved, I loved every moment of it, but I, uh, I just couldn't do it anymore because I would get to know these fighters and I was like, I couldn't, Randy Couture and, and, and, you know, Chuck Liddell, those fights. I just saw Chuck Liddell. I thought he passed away and I was like, holy shit. Yeah. No, I couldn't. You're alive. Oh, look at you. You are there early. Oh, dude, I go early a lot. Dude, I love that. Last time I got there too early. I love that, man. So you're not showing up at the main event, going in there and sitting there. No, dude. I just – I think this is amazing. These are like these people that are doing the thing that they love the most.

50:03Right. And some of them in the earliest, they're coming out for the first time into this UFC. Like, and they come out and nobody's there. It's like – Yeah. Yeah. But, dude, yeah, sometimes you see some of the best fights early. Yep. Yeah, I love it, dude. Good for you. Yeah, that was it. And then I would start to know these fighters and I couldn't watch them anymore. I was there with Rich Franklin when he got knocked out by Anderson Silva. And it just, I was, there was his wife, you know, watching this. And just like, you just stunned. And I'm like, I can't do this anymore. So I stopped going.

50:33I couldn't do it. I didn't want to see these guys. And I was telling him that I wanted to say that I wanted to get Chris out of fighting because I was like, he's had so many surgeries, broken leg, you know, all these things. And it's like, just, he's a good looking guy, man. Do, do, you know, get on TV and he's funny and he's, you know, personable. So I'm glad to see he's doing TV stuff. Yeah, there's a lot of great guys over there. Angry Girls, it's been fun. Yeah, being associated with that whole thing has been just so exciting. Just to get to go watch it, you know. Do you train? No, I trained for a little while, and then I just kept getting hurt.

51:04Yeah, it's tough. Like my ribs, and I'd be having like some fucking huge guy, we'd be rolling over on me or something. And it was just like, it was a lot. So I think I'll do it again whenever I don't have so much responsibility. I got to do it when they work out the smell. You know what I'm saying? the smell of the room? Oh, yeah. I just, I can't do it. Not at 60. Like, when I was younger, I was like, hey, you got to be able, it doesn't matter what it is, you know. At 60, you go, I don't need to smell this anymore. You hit 60? Yeah, I hit 60. Can you believe that? No, not at all. Yes. You're a baby.

51:36I'm telling you, I've been around a long time. So what I'm saying is I don't need the smell of a jujitsu room anymore. Yeah. I'll do it privately. I'll do it like that way for a while. And once, you know, because a wet gi, I don't think there's much worse than that, going up against a guy with a wet, right? And you're in there, and he's got your face, and he's cranking it, and all you got is like wet gi and chest hair. That's past gay. It's past like a gay feeling. I think a gay feeling. It's beyond romance. Yeah, it's a control thing, and it's just not good. And he got wet and then got cold and wet.

52:14Yes. That's the thing. If somebody's warm and wet, at least you're like. It's actually a bath. Yeah, that feels a little bit more like a bath would feel. Cold and wet is just, it's bad. And the smell. Yeah, that's tough stuff, dude. Not my favorite. Nope. We've got another segment now brought to you by Pepsi. You saw the bear, the myth, the legend in the Super Bowl commercial where he chose Pepsi Zero Sugar. and now we've got him in studio here. What's up, Bear? First off, thanks for coming. I don't even know how you got here. Well, actually, we just had a huge freeze here. So, oh, you can't talk.

52:58Okay, I think what will be easiest to get to know you, I think, is if I ask you questions and you just use these paddles, this or that. Does that make sense to you? Okay. Let's get started. Okay, I got to ask you out the gate, big dog. This, female polar bears or that, thick raccoons?

53:26Female polar bears, huh? Okay. But if you get one of those snow racks going and shorty thick. Okay, let's keep it moving. this Polar Express or that Tokyo Drift

53:45Tokyo Drift really?

53:50oh yeah but Tom Hanks narrated Polar Express yeah you're right kinda dude this is just for me have you ever had Penguin? how is it? I knew it they won't let us have it Dude, what's your stripper name, you think? What do you mean? You live at the North Pole. It's the biggest pole in the world. You never even thought about your stripper name? It's the last thing you ate in the street you grew up on. Yeah, I think so. Yours would probably be like Snow Way. Zero Sugar. Coming to the main glacier. I like it. I like it. Zero Sugar. That's what I'm talking about. Get that sugar out of here, boy. Don't be crazy around me with that sugar.

54:40I don't want no sugar bear. I want my bear to be sugar free. Sugar free. Sorry. Something took over me. Okay, that's not edible. I don't care. We have another one. So this, the first sip, or that, the last sip?

55:06Oh

55:09All sips. All right, this is the last one. This is a big one. This Coca-Cola Zero Sugar or that Pepsi Zero Sugar?

55:30It's the truth. Pepsi Zero Sugar tastes better than Coca-Cola Zero Sugar. That's his take. That's my take. but let your tastes decide. Hey. Yeah. Jeeps, where are you going? Oh, wherever you want, I guess. Where does a polar bear sit? Wherever he wants. Was it hard for you to adapt to married life once you got married? No. No, once I found her, it was like, I remember I went away. I was with her for a while. You know, it's like, this is it. I knew this was it. And it wasn't because, oh, I got to get married or anything like that. I could tell because I just didn't want to be away from her. And I had to do, I think, a couple gigs or whatever.

56:19I was on the road for a while, and she couldn't go. And I just hated being away from her. I was calling her every night, and I was like, wow, I got to get back there. You know? Had you had that feeling in a long time? I hadn't. You know, not with who I was dating and going out with. So, no, it wasn't there. It was totally different. You just click on so many different levels, and it just becomes apparent. Like, man, I need this person in my life. They make me better, too. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. That's it. So she's amazing that way. So that was it. I was like, I'm done. I'm happy. Gosh.

56:54Oh, that's a great thing to say. Yeah. No, I am. It's amazing. Yeah, when you see your wife, you get excited, you give her a hug? Yeah, I'll give her a hug. but sometimes it's also it's not all the time it's not crazy romantic all the time it's life you're tired it's like you just pass each other sometimes it's a fist bump it's like alright get out of here whatever it is but I miss her this morning she left this morning we were out last night and then I was like wow you know it's you know you're gonna have all those feelings it's you know all the the emotions and everything, and all the cooking or this, that, the things that you love them so much about, it's a balance of them all.

57:43It's everything. It's the good, it's the bad, and you just realize overall it's like, I never want to be without them, even in the worst moments. So you know that, and it's real. You think you can fall on a different type of love when you're in your late 30s or as you get older than you can when you're younger, you think? First, for me, I think I matured. I'm still not that mature. You know, I'm 60. So I still think like a kid, like an idiot. So for me, I'm glad it happened later. You know, some people are able to know what they want when they're younger and much more mature. I was not there, you know.

58:21Yeah, I think your career might not have happened the same. Yeah, that's for sure. I needed to be kind of by myself and get it going. Because you would have left your family all the time to go. It would have just been really different. It would have been rough for sure. Yeah. So I'm glad I got the grind out. Now I take them with me if I'm, you know, doing a movie. You know, I'm never away from them for that long, which is good. Do you miss some of those days, like the road days back in the day? Like, do you ever, are there any of them that you kind of romanticize a little bit? I still do them.

58:48You know, it's like the days. But I mean like clubs that weren't just like, you know, I'm talking about like, you know. Staying in the condo and all that stuff. Yeah, yeah. Like, did you ever stay in Mishawaka? Did you stay in condos? Oh, yeah, dude. You did? You ever stay in Mishawaka over there? Where's that? Indiana, like right outside of Notre Dame. It's right there. No. No. But I mean, crazy, crappy condos and stuff like that. But it was exciting. It was me, my brother, a couple other guys, comedians that were, you know, we would Rogan, you know, but never went on the road with Rogan. But, yeah, it was great.

59:20It was fun. You know, you stay at casinos. Like, I used to play the Tropicana in Vegas. Vegas, yeah. And I never gambled. I'd never been to Vegas. And I remember losing my week. You go there for a week. You do two shows a night for seven days, man. You have to eat downstairs with the staff. Yes, exactly. And sometimes there's no food, and they're asking you for food. Yes, yeah, exactly. It's rough. But you're excited to be there. It was like 103 degrees. This is what I remember when OJ, when they were chasing OJ, I was in Vegas at the Tropicana, and we were drinking. we got it. You're staying in your hotel.

59:59You got no, I think you get maybe, I don't know how much money you're getting, but I lost, in the first night, I've lost my entire week's worth of money. I'm not kidding. So we got a case of Bud Light Ice, which was the beer that it was so good and frosty at a gas station. Oh, I remember that beer. Do you remember that? Yeah, they discontinued it. It was great, though. Yes. I liked it. I did, too. Bud Light Ice. Bring up a picture of it, at least. Can you please? Something would it look like? And they had there was something dog at the same time oh yeah red dog red dog or something like that red dog was disgusting it was supposed to be for like disabled families there you go we got a case of that we sat in my hotel room and we just pounded it and it was like still 103 degrees at night I remember that and OJ was being chased or whatever it was just crazy dude I remember I would be in my hotel this one hotel I stayed at I think it was outside of Syracuse in like Liberty New York or something and they gave you a cup of water and uh and it was filled up when i got in the room it was like a cup of water i was like it wasn't even like a bottle of water and i was like oh that was for you if you're a hotel yeah like if you're thirsty we poured you a cup of water and put it in there did you stay in some rough places yeah just places where you like would have to walk on the interstate to get there whatever like a highway to get there just some places that were a little bit like what is going on here i drove eight hours to a a gig that i had to do one gig it was one night, was making like no money.

1:01:25I get there early before the gig and it's a crappy motel type thing. I pull the bed back because I'm tired. Just drove eight hours. Gonna take a nap before the show. Yeah. There's a roach in the blanket. I mean, I don't even know. It was this big. I literally just put the blanket back. I went to the show. I just sat in my car in the parking lot until the was ready did the show drove home eight hours man i'm not staying with a roach couldn't do it there's some miserable places yeah dude i remember we were to save like a hundred dollars you'd fly into a city that was like four hours like if you could figure out the math yes and then drive here get a ride then you're like oh i'll just finish a show i'll drive and catch a fight out of indianapolis at five eight it's just like everything was like did you did you have a buddy like a comic buddy that you go with or you by yourself?

1:02:19I didn't. I was out there and I'd always pee in the bed. I'd always pee on my cell phone once it came out. So I'd miss certain calls or wake up alarms. Back that up. Wait a second. What did you say? I would wet the bed. You would wet the bed? Yeah, I'd wet the bed, man. First of all, let's start with this one first and then we'll back it in there. Why is your cell phone in the bed? Can you put it on the counter? No. I'd fall asleep. Put it on the counter. That's not that close. You shouldn't have that close to you anyway. Put that on there. By the way, you would pee on it then. but why are you wetting the bed?

1:02:47I was wetting the bed, man. Were you drunk or just letting it go? I was drunk and I wet the bed for a long time. Okay. I was in it. Just because you got used to it when you were younger and you're like, let's just keep going with this? I can't remember, dude. I just think I just was always so nervous and whenever I was asleep at some point, finally I wasn't nervous and my body's like, well, this is when we gotta urinate, you know? You seem like a guy that operates from a place of fear, right? Everything in fear. I'm that way. I don't know about you but I get worried about everything or you're not worried about everything oh i would get worried like if i'm with a girl and there's like a moment of silence it makes me so fucking you gotta fill that i get so scared yeah i'm like i just don't want to give a room not to like it was almost like i'm that way if there's any space here she'll not like me that's exactly i don't want to give a room not so you got to fill that space up yeah and i would do it with one word for the next set so it's like if we were talking about yeah well i went to the uh the other day the game with my brother and it was a lot of fun and then it gets quiet and I would go because uh and I would say because uh to give you moments to start yes and but I don't know what I'm saying and she's like what do you mean and I'm like because and I'm like in my head I'm like hey because it has to follow you got to follow with something if you say because so I was like because you know we we just like the the team that was playing something and then it's like dead again and I'm like I do another one so and it's just those little words like just shut up man sit in the pocket I can't sit in the pocket I can't sit in the pocket Dude it's the same with baseball I would get up there I would swing three times Four even fucking through it And I would go sit down Yes And if they had a problem with it I love it I'm going home I like it My mom would sit in the distance She would be in the van And she would honk She's like if you don't hit it We're fucking leaving I love it And she'd be gone dude We're leaving I never hit it Dude I love that I never hit it dude But yeah there's something About that moment Where it's like I just can't And if like Especially if it's like Looking at a woman in the eyes too Dude, that's always been super tough.

1:04:37It's just like something that's like, yeah, I just always had a tough time with that, but I can't let there be a thing. Well, I couldn't. If the woman didn't, in high school or even beyond, I had to know the girl. She had to come over to me. I could never be one of those guys that go up. I'd be like, ask my friend. She's like, she likes you. Go talk to her. I couldn't talk to her. I'd walk around her in a big circle. Oh, gosh. Yes, that's funny. That's great, though. That's insane, though. That's marking your territory, and you're trying to go in, and you don't even know how to do it. Um, yeah, I, I would need her to come over and I would need confirmation of, yes, I like you.

1:05:12Yes. Let's go out. You know, I couldn't, I'd be like, you sure? I'd give her every out. Like, we don't have to do this if you don't want to go out. Are you okay? That's what I was, if anybody has hangs out with me, a lot of them always like, are you okay? Yeah. There's a, I don't even do it on purpose. I just, there's a part of me that just asks them that. Yeah. But yeah, it's a sweetness, man. But it's a, it's a worry that you're not good enough. Right. I mean, I, I'm sure. And I think it's not even on the front of my thoughts anymore. but it's still just this old thing that's just built in me, you know?

1:05:39I've had it my whole life. But that looking in the eyes, like, yeah, I couldn't look a woman in the eye. Just like, I don't know what it is if they, I don't know what I'm afraid they're going to see, you know? They're just going to see that something's wrong with me probably. Or something, you know, or I'm going to see them. Here's what I think it is too. I'm going to see them see that something's wrong with me. Right? You would look for signs. She saw me just like, she knows I'm weak. I'll know the look in her eyes when she sees that when she realizes that there's something wrong with me so I don't know so I don't want to lock out something like that, I don't know what it is anyway, sorry for talking to you it's the truth, I'm the same way you don't want to give yourself the possibility of failing so it's like you kill it before it happens you go, I'll self kill it before then I didn't fail, it just went down but then life gets along what kind of what theme park am I living in here with myself and whatever's going on.

1:06:39I'm out of it now. I'm coming out of it. I really am. I don't let those things scare me anymore. I don't care anymore. I do it. And it's been helping a lot. I mean it. Yes. Just by just doing. Yeah. You figure it out. You go, I don't care. She said, no, she said, no, this one, this, whatever. I don't get this. This doesn't do well. I don't care. Moving on. What's next? Let's go. We know what we got. God is good. Go, go, go, go. I get stuck so much on the thinking side. Yeah. Yeah. you got to get out of your own way i'm the same way yeah that's interesting dude but yeah that would be a lot of it god yeah that would be a lot of it but yeah that thing i'll be i'll be like um what else is going on i'll say that all the time yeah if things get real quiet that's a weird thing huh but i think that's what makes you your brain is like we got to come up with something what are we doing here boys you know yes yeah and i i'm telling you you look calm outside but inside it's like there's a fire what do we do next like she's not like i i remember it all i remember it's over it's cortisol shooting out of your your your face you know it's like i don't know what to do i can't control myself you know it's just when you think back on it it's so insane it is it means nothing it meant nothing don't worry just calm down sit in the pocket yeah spade does a good job of that man he's always been that guy right he's very cool and yeah i've never been a cool guy cool yeah my friend was the cool guy yeah yeah all my friends were the cool guy like it was never me i was never that guy no uh but even at times when i thought i was that guy i was like ah that's insane that you thought that dude you know because it just doesn't fit.

1:08:26Right. Nah. Yeah, I don't... And that worked for me to not be that guy. And it's like when you admit it. Yeah, once you realize, oh, I'm not, yeah. Once you're not trying to be something. Yeah, it feels better, right? And it's like, it's alright. That's why it happened. It makes things a little bit better. Did you feel like a little bit of like your character, Matt Taylor, that's the guy's name? Which is so funny because I know three Matt Taylors, but everybody does. Maybe that's why they picked the names. There's a lot of them. There's a lot of them out there. How many are there? Bring that up.

1:08:54Please. How many Matt Taylors are there? I know three. There's got to be 14 or more in the world. I bet there's 140 ,000. I know. I'm joking. Oh, sorry. There's got to be Matt Taylors, right? I think. There's no precise global count for the name Matt Taylor. A comprehensive worldwide name database do not exist. Estimates can be derived from available national data and name frequency tools. So if you're in the public records about 3 ,700 times, that's it? Yeah, there's no way to figure it out There's a lot of them though Matt, as a first name Alone has an estimated living population Of 207 ,000 I bet it's more than that 207 ,000 Matt's There was that Kyle meet up in Texas, do you see that?

1:09:42I did not Bring that up All the Kyles met up Really? Yeah, bro If we were to branch out now and go to try to figure out how many Matt Taylors there are currently living in the world, what is the first step? The first step is do I go, okay, if we just decided right now we're doing it, but would I say to my guy, all right, call his agent. We're going to do this thing. What is the first step? Do we book a hotel and we say we're going to talk about it or we need a first meeting of how we're going to go about the thing? Is that it? The first step, probably agreeing that we're going to do it together.

1:10:19Right. That would take some time, though, right? Because we'd be like, are we really doing this? And then it's like, well, we've got to talk it out, let's think it. And the logistics of it, like, how would we do it? Okay, so then. Getting uniforms, too. Searching for Matt Taylor uniforms. Every Matt. That would be sick. Would it be a jumpsuit or is it like two pieces? Every Matt Taylor. I think it's a onesie. A onesie? It's a one piece, like a Carhartt. It's hard work. Yes. Yes. Dude, you know how many Matt Taylors are? cars at least 207 ,000. I love it. Searching for the best Matt Taylor. So the uniform would be probably the first thing we're working on.

1:10:53What are we looking for him for? Maybe we got a piece of mail for him. Yeah, just something like we can, yeah. Or just to give them a pat on the back for being part of the team. Yeah, being in the Army. That's a militia. That many people. Bring up that meeting of the Kyles again. What did they do, too? Somebody said that... That is cool. They're all Kyles? Yeah, those were all Kyles. And Sugar Ray performed, I heard. Oh, I love it. 706 people named Kyle got together in Texas, but it wasn't... Enough for a world record. Oh, damn. Oh, how sad is that? First of all, let me say something. These guys put together, 706 of these people had the dream of becoming a world record breaker with the most Kyles in a certain area.

1:11:38I love that. And they missed it. Look at that. By the way, as bad as we feel about everything that happened in our lives, if I had that one, that would tip it. It'd be tough to leave. Come on. No, you're second place for most Kyles? Second place for most Kyles. The crown is currently held by a town in Bosnia. They got 235 people named Ivan in 2017. So it's any name. It's not just Kyles. So it's just a certain name. But this is, I think, one of the largest groupings. What did it say about Kyle? Kyle, did it say anything else? Go back to that original article. How does that start? Where's that first meeting?

1:12:15Oh, Kyle. Well, it's right here. It's not the first time the Kyles have come gunning for the Ivins. Last year, the official count at what has become known as the Gathering of the Kyles clocked in at 1490 in the fast-growing Texas city that is about 37 miles of Austin. Oh, the city's called Kyle. So they... They did it in Kyle, Texas. But are they named Kyle? They're all named Kyle. That's got to be crazy, dude, when you see who all the other freaking Kyles really are. and you dude you see go door to door are you knocking and going i'm sure they met i'm sure there was something online that announced it okay and then they all showed up i guess you have to register yeah that would seem a lot more efficient oh dude that'd be so crazy you look around and everybody's a kyle and you see some you're like whoa whoa or they put one person out there that's not a kyle and the whole day you think there's anybody in that group of 706 that's not a kyle really that's like kyle was his nickname it wasn't even his real name and he knows it he's there It's not on his birth certificate.

1:13:10And he's kind of like getting around, like not wanting to get caught. And people are looking around. And other Kyles know if you're not a Kyle. So they're just kind of like, and you're like, what's your name? And you're like, I'm Kyle too. And they're like, I don't know if he, you know, and they're like, hey, they go to get his buddy. Like, I want to check you out. And then he leaves. He's like, I'm going to the bathroom. I'll be back. And he's just goes to a different area of the field. It's so stupid. It's so crazy. I love it, man. To be a fake Kyle there just to fit in. But people have nothing to do.

1:13:39Look at what they're doing. They're just trying, man. I love it, man. I love it. People are desperate for connection. Yes. This is how it's getting. By the way, this is beautiful to me. But the worst part is, though, imagine it's all dude. You go there hoping you can meet a chick. There's some chicks named Kyle. Oh, do you think so? Is that? I've met a couple. Okay. I met a couple for sure. Who performed? Who performed? I think Sugar Ray. But that's a missed opportunity. Shouldn't they get a Kyle? Isn't there a Kyle performer? Kyle Kinane could have. Yeah. I don't know. That's a missed opportunity, man.

1:14:15It won't try to break the same name gathering record this year. Okay, so Kyle's out. Oh, so they're switching names. By the way, why don't you go with a Bob or something like, you know what I'm saying? Oh, because the city of Kyle, Texas, put it on it, looks like. All right, we'll find a better name. The city has been hosting the gathering since 2017. All right. um when you look back this movie what was different about making this movie than some of the others did you find it that it's easier do you have a different like uh like ownership of this film it was it was it was something that it came together really quick but it was it was it's the first movie that like i'm really like proud of that everybody who worked on it was just amazing and it was just different than every any other movie i've done and the story is not that it's not even that crazy different or anything like that it's not it's but it's it's a classic it we hit every mark that we wanted to hit and doing this in a different way i hired like we got the best cast the best crew and again it's not me it was them and it was everything coming together in italy that just made it i i'm just couldn't believe how great it came out and it was like i know i think honestly for the rest of i like this would probably be the best movie for me.

1:15:34Really? It's the best I've done so far. Yes. Without a doubt. The best you've done like even in your acting you think? Yeah. Well it's the most where I'm real. You know you do different movies for different reasons right? Like you know when I did Mall Cop you know I'm doing it for families and kids and you're being goofy and broad and this and that and a lot of stuff you're getting that you know that's your kind of what they expect from you but this was one where I was able there's still comedy in it but like I don't hold the comedy as much as like Kim Coates and Jonathan Rumi meet these guys and Allison Hannigan and yeah um which allowed me to kind of play more of a real guy which which is fun for me to do Jules what was that guy's name Kim Coates from Sons of Anarchy he's just I've known him for 35 years like he's I did a movie with him and Ray Romano called grilled yeah and it never went anywhere we were meat salesmen and I met him and he uh He is the greatest.

1:16:31He's an insanely intense actor. I don't even know what he's going to do, but that's why I want him for comedy. He looks at you, and he's just going to go a certain way, and you're going to go with him. He was the perfect guy to play that role. Yeah, that was great, dude. He was a good, yeah, his comedy was right on. He's incredible. He crushes it. Whenever you made, what's another favorite? Like, just take me through one more favorite film that you, like an experience that you had. I mean, Hitch. I mean, all the, you know, the stuff with Sandler, you know, like that stuff. That's kind of a dumb question.

1:17:06No, no. I mean, it's like doing stuff with Sandler's the best always. What about like a Hitch reboot today? Would that work, you think? I mean, I don't know how you do it with me, but yeah, I guess you could do it. I think so. I think it was great. Well, that was my first movie. So, I mean, I was thankful for that one. And that was, that started out like, like I had like one line or something. It was like a very small part. And then Will and I just connected and he was so nice and, and given me, you know, some freedom to be funny and kind of try different things. Oh yeah. And I'll do it. And it, it just, it, it made everything for me.

1:17:43So I was, I was really excited about that. Do you feel a lot of pressure when you just had that, that much of a part to try to make it perfect in some way? In Hitch? you know coming in you know will was a massive you know movie star oh yeah he's been one of the biggest and movie stars were different then it was like it was just in the theaters it was like they were special you didn't see them much you know and i remember we were doing a big table read in new york and he walked in with his crew and i'm like whoa you know my eyes like whoa that's him you know it's like one of those things and uh just happy to be there you know trying to pitch things but you know don't want to get thrown out of the room you know trying you know timing and stuff like that.

1:18:21But he was great. Like we would write after in his trailer, he'd go come back and we, you know, we'd work on some material and, and rewrite it as we were doing it. And I was just in it. It was a dream for me. It was really great. And, and it had that special feeling that I have in this movie, honestly, where you feel things are coming together. Cause I've done a ton of movies where you go, man, this is just not working. You know, it's like, you just feel like you're muscling through, you're pushing the comedy too hard. This one felt so real to me. And it was It's just so much fun to be a part of.

1:18:51Do you have other projects that you already have on the docket, Kevin? Yes. We're working on one with Jelly Roll. It's actually a drama, a country music drama that we're working together. You see that video of him the other night at the Grammys? Were you there? No, I wasn't there. He is amazing, man. Yeah, he's great. I got a shirt. I bought a shirt at Walmart before coming here, and I already stained it up a little bit. Let's go. Yeah, let's go, Jelly. He sent me a pair of those shoes. They're like, I don't know what they're called. Oh, yes, yeah. The boots that he wears? Yeah, something like that, yeah.

1:19:25Yeah, they're great. He's an amazing human being, man. I'm so proud of him and so excited to do this. And in this drama, here's the thing. We both, he goes, hey, if we're going to do this, we got to get into prison shape. Because we go to prison. We're both in prison in the movie, and it's real. Where at? What city? In Nashville. Oh, nice. I haven't been to the prison here. Yeah. It's a whole thing about getting to the Opry. And it's a really cool story, and there's a lot of drama in it, and it's exciting. But we said, okay, we're going to commit now to doing this. And he went out and lost like 300 pounds, and I am up seven.

1:20:05I've got to get down. You're up seven pounds right now? Yes. He's down like 300. I'm up seven. Oh, that's a crazy spread. So, yeah, it's a big spread. We went the wrong way. And you already shot him. No, no, we didn't shoot anything yet. We shoot in like, we're hoping to do seven, eight months. We're going to be ready to shoot. Do you think you can get to that? I know I can. I'm going to do it right now. I'm literally, after I promote this movie, which I'm doing, I'm shutting down from everything else, and I'm going into training mode like never before. I'm going to work out. I'm going to change everything.

1:20:36I'm going to be unrecognizable. I have to say it. If I don't say it, I'll never be accountable. What will you do? Do you have a plan? Oh, I know what I'm going to do. Yeah, I'm going to do everything. Well, I'm going to go easy, though. You know, it's like that's the one thing. I'm very eclectic when I work out. Like I do, you know, I'll do a little bit of jujitsu and stuff like that. Light stuff though now and boxing and then stretching and a little bit of stuff. Bike riding, things like that. Pool is insane. You know, I. Swimming? Not swimming. I'm not a swimmer. But just getting in a pool and stretching and moving a little bit.

1:21:08Yeah. If you can do that. If you have access to that. But it's also like. You burn a lot of calories. And it's therapeutic because the water holds you. So it's like your body feels good stretching and moving. So doing a lot of that. And no, I got to get on it, though. He's like he's lived up to his part of the bargain. Or are you going to have a trainer? Like what else do you do? I do, but trainers get annoying to me. I got to be honest. Like after a while. Yeah. And you know what? If I'm being completely honest, I've done it before. I know what to do. I know what to eat. I know what, you know, but I am using Dolce.

1:21:42Do you know Mike Dolce? He's got the Dolce diet. He's trained all these UFC athletes. Oh, wait. I have met him before. Yeah. He's awesome. He's going to help me. Yes. He's a badass. He's a really good - So he's going to help. He is going to help. He's frustrated with me because I haven't been doing - He knows I haven't been doing it. Hey, you're up seven. Yeah. So I don't think he knew that. I guess he's going to know that now. All right. Sorry, Dolce. I'm up seven. But I didn't lock in yet. When I lock in, I promise you it's going to be six months I'm going to be a different person. What would be the hardest thing for you to give up, you think?

1:22:17Food-wise or just, I mean. Probably food-wise, yeah. Or is it a beer-wise or what is it? No, no, it's not drinking. I'm not a big, big drinker. It's just food, and it's just amounts of food. Like I could eat constantly if you change the food, like a shark. Like I would just keep swimming. Like I would just keep – I don't get full really, you know. It's scary. It's something in me that, you know, I need to stop. But are you a big eater? You look great, man. I like to eat some, but I don't care that much. You don't? I like beef quesadillas and I like smoothie. Okay, but so you're not – that's a great combo.

1:22:55Yeah, those are the two things I eat every single day. Do you really? Yeah, if I'm eating, that's what I eat. I love that. It's easy. We have seven ingredients here. But you don't think about it. See, look at your face. You're kind of like – that's your face when, you know, that's not my face with food. I think it's lame to not care about food sometimes. I think like, dude, get some zest in your world. No, I think, I think what you're doing is. Think about a fucking sauce or something. No, I think that's, I would rather be like that because, you know, why am I so concerned about what I'm eating for lunch?

1:23:23Like I'm thinking about it constantly. I'm looking at you right now, but I'm thinking tonight, where, like you don't want to make a mistake. You don't want to go. That's a good point. Right? Nothing's worse than making a mistake. Especially when you're like, we're in Nashville now. Oh, dude. So we got to pop. You got to find something good. Dude, I ordered a steak from this place, STK, last night or something. Oh, STK's great. This was not, dude. Oh, really? STK missed? Didn't they have a place in the – they have a few of them, right? They're a chain? Yeah. I mean, it just – But not a – Oh, it still makes me sick.

1:23:54It tastes like – I don't even know. Oh, STK. Sorry. I'm out then. I'm out. If you had a bad one – Oh, it tasted like – I'm done. It tasted like just vagina. If they had one in LA, I think I went to it, and it was good. 1400s or whatever. Like game of groans, dude. It was horrible. Game of groans. Ugh, dude, I can still. I had one bite, and I was like, oh, maybe I got a bad piece of the meat or whatever. It tasted bad or it was tough? It tasted bad, and it just had this aroma or ordeur or whatever with it. and dude that odor hit me and I was like what is the odor? oh you've seen the odor? odor?

1:24:36yes it hit me dude I fucking my knees shook a little did they? I was like god but do you think it was like like just bad tasting or it was bad like you're gonna get sick I couldn't tell I couldn't tell dude but I had one more bite cause I was like you went back? I was like dude I was treating myself to something you know I hadn't really eaten all day and I was coming home and I was like I'm gonna treat myself to something tonight I'm gonna order a steak cause I still have to work I was going to try to go somewhere to eat, but it was getting, it was so late. Yeah. And I was like, and they sent it and I was like, oh.

1:25:04No, no, you can't. It made me fucking when you do that kind of shit. Like you turn into your own chiropractor and shit. See, I wouldn't get upset. Like once it was bad, I have no problem switching foods. Like I would go to right to peanut butter and jelly and I would make a massive sandwich. God, now those are good. I guess they're as good when you're a kid, but I just quit eating them years ago. What? Peanut butter and jelly. Why? You still eat them? Yes, I do. Yes, I do. What is your ratio of peanut butter to jelly? Oh, I used to think, oh, I think I go thick on both. And I'll put, if I'm really going to have one, I haven't had one in years, but I would put butter on the jelly side as well.

1:25:41Butter, jelly, and then the other bread has peanut butter on it. My grandmother used to do that. Toast or no? No. Sometimes my mom used to grill them with bananas in them, though. That's insane. I'm stuck on butter right now. My mind is going, like a beautiful mind right now, Now it's seen all the equations of why I didn't do it. But I got to tell you, first of all, I go much thicker peanut butter. Like I thick it up. Oh, really? It's a lot. Yeah. You just choke a little. Yeah, that's fine. I get it down. And then it's worth it, though. And I get a little jelly in there just to get that sweet going.

1:26:14But it's a big one. And I'll do toast sometimes. But if you do too hot of a toast, I know this is a little bit too much information, but then you get the wet peanut. Like it melts and it comes right out, squeezes out the side. How do you feel when peanut butter started doing that thing a few years ago where it was like they put just two parts of peanut butter into a jar and it's like the oil in the part they separate? No, I can't stand that. That's insane. I can't stand that. What is that? I don't want to do the skippy. Yeah, there you go. That's the drip. There you go. That drip is good, but if it goes out of the sandwich, it's useless.

1:26:41And you lose it. You lose it. It's like that could have been in me. Yeah. God. Yeah, I don't like that oil stuff. Yeah, I don't like that oil stuff. I don't like that oil. I do miss those kid foods, those lunchables. I can't believe you. Why did you stop? I mean, when you say kid foods, they're foods. They don't, I mean, macaroni and cheese with the craft, with the powder, it never stops. When do you go, what age is it appropriate to go, I'm not eating the powder cheese? Something happened to me, I guess. I just, I don't know. I just, I just started, you know what? I just like working so much.

1:27:12I just don't think about food that much. But maybe this will start, you know? Maybe I'll start falling in love with some new things, you know? I would like to go the other way. I would love to be like that. I wish I had that where I wasn't thinking about it so much. What's going to be the toughest part for you with this coming up change? I know you've got to get out of here. What's going to be the toughest part? It's just going to be the food. It is. It's going to be cutting that out. But once I get into a groove, it's routine. Routine and discipline, man. That's all it ever is, right? So if you do it a little bit and you do it enough and, you know, you don't need a perfect every day.

1:27:43But that's the other thing, too. I let the perfect be the enemy of the good, which means if I'm not perfect that day, I go, screw it. and I eat like crazy that night and I blow it. If I get a flat tire, Weidman always says, if you get one flat, you just pop the other three tires. It's like you don't just fix that one. I do. So if I go off my diet a little bit, I go out that night. I'm eating, drinking, having a blast, and I'm like, I'll start tomorrow because it's a fresh start that I'm looking for. Always. I love that start fresh because I've always been that guy. I've always been the guy to never do the homework when I should.

1:28:16It's Monday morning. I get it done. And then I get it. And it's like because I can do it. That's the same. Dude, yeah, I was always a guy. I wrote every answer on my finger. I'd go in there. Yes. Yes. Like that. Little bitty words on there. Yeah. Cheating. Well, dude, thanks so much for Solo Mio, man. Thanks for all the entertainment of the year. Sorry, I was a little bit tired today. No, I'm sorry. I'm a little weak, too. And I said a lot of things that I rambled for a while that if you want to cut out, you can cut out. Because I was a little bouncy. Dude, yeah, I don't know. I just did feel like I didn't have a lot of gasoline in me today.

1:28:46But sometimes that's the day, man. Yeah. You know? It was great. You were great. But I'm grateful that we got to spend some time together, man. I really am. And thanks for all the entertainment over the years. Thank you for Salomeo. Salomeo, right? Salomeo. Salomeo. But thank you. It's Salomeo. I got to remember that. Okay. Thank you for Salomeo. Yes. Okay. That's even. And there's a musical ensemble. You wouldn't even imagine that this happens in this movie. That's great. Yeah. And that guy's blind. Do you know it? Yeah. I didn't know. Finally, I'm looking at him. I'm like, this guy is fucking nonchalant, you know, about everything.

1:29:27And then I'm like, oh, this guy is fucking blind or whatever. My friend is blind. You have a friend that's blind? Yeah. How blind? Like completely? Nothing. It's off. But has he always been that way? Yeah. He's always been blind since he was. Yeah. I mean, he could maybe have vision when he was very young, but he's always been blind. Wow. As long as I've known him, he's been blind. I thought it was amazing. Anytime I met somebody with a deficiency, I always admired it so much in some way. My sister lost her sight. But she was born with sight. She was fine. And now she's got retinitis pigmentosa where it goes away.

1:30:04And I'm wondering if it's more difficult to have seen or to never have. And just, no, it's just, yeah, my heart goes out to all of them. We had a blind girl on here one time and she was talking about how she learns things. It's almost like a video game. It's like that's how she kind of remembers things and where to go and different. And so she can slowly build spaces to walk in and things like that, she said. And then she said the worst animal that she's – she's like petted all kinds of animals except a snake. Doesn't give any energy back to the blind. That's what she said. Yeah. It doesn't give any back to the seeing either.

1:30:39Yeah. That's what I said. Right? Yeah, 100%. Tanja. Yeah. Right there. Long person. Wow. That's really – that's cool, man. You can feel that. She's awesome. I got to check back in with her. Awesome. Yeah, guys, go see Solo Mio. You'll enjoy it. Take your lady. Yeah. Take your man. Take whoever you got. Take your son. Take your stepson. That's who needs to. Yes. Bring your stepson. Take your freaking stepson, dude. Take your stepson. You've never taken that kid anyway. That's all I want. Stepson's in free. We should do his whole thing, right? Oh, dude, yeah. Right? Stepson's get in free. I wonder if Angel can work that out.

1:31:14And blinds get in free. Sure. Absolutely. let's do it I appreciate you man yeah you too man thank you so much appreciate it

1:31:47Thank you.