#645 - Chris Robinson

9:12Theo Von:are less phone driven than they used to be. Like people want to be there more. I think so. I think you're right. And I think it's funny when you see like, when it's juxtaposed with like, if you see some footage from like concerts before phones phones and everyone is focused on the same fucking thing. And it was really, you know, about some other sort of interaction.

9:38Chris Robinson:Yeah. And you'd have a, you'd almost have a, like a, it was like you were riding a wave during a concert. Like you'd find somebody that had a beer.

9:44Theo Von:Emotional. Yes.

9:46Chris Robinson:And then you connect with a girl, but she disappears. And then you're like, Oh wait, I'm here with my wife. And then that's there.

9:51Theo Von:Concerts were every, I mean, they were, it was a different thing before. I mean, they can still have magical moments, You know, people can still be involved.

9:58Chris Robinson:Yeah. But your friend would go off to get like, and then somebody would go off to get beverages and you would never see like that person. They were gone. Never saw them since. Oh, dude, there was just something about experiences like that. There was something about like, I always feel like the best music was during my childhood, but I don't know if that stunts my appreciation for music as an adult. Does that make any sense?

10:23Theo Von:I don't think it's about it being the best music. I think my wife and I were talking about this because she's like an anthropologist. When she sees some teenagers sitting on the sidewalk smoking cigarettes, she's like, we need to study them. Look at them. This has been going on forever. But I think I'll do the drawings. But I think what it is, and we talk about it, is when you're a teenager or you're an adolescent, and you're so alive in a different way for the first time from the childhood alive to like this, oh, now the way the world feels to me is going to be something different. And when that music comes, it's like fucking imprinted on like this fresh, you know what I mean?

11:11Chris Robinson:There's no one is swollen at that age. Yeah. Before that, you're kind of pulp and this is like the first time you're a piece of paper.

11:19Theo Von:But it makes sense, you know what I mean? Because I feel that. I mean, I'm lucky that I'm not nostalgic. I don't really care about nostalgia.

11:28Chris Robinson:Oh, you don't get into that?

11:29Theo Von:It doesn't make me... Things are the way they are when they're happening. And yes, there could be an aspect of something like, oh, I remember when I first heard that record, but I don't listen to a record like, I don't know, it could be anything.

11:45Theo Von:Even if it was from the 80s, I don't know, something like Let's Active. There's a band from North Carolina, Mitch Easter Let's Active? Yeah, loved Let's Active Bring him up, I want to see him But if I hear that, I'm like I'm not back in my mom and dad's house I'm like, oh, listen how cool that guitar sounds You know, music has always made it alive The room, wherever I am

12:06Chris Robinson:Does it, yeah, it's funny Because a lot of music, I think I immediately go back to places I'm like a nostalgic junkie I'm like a romanticist Like, let's go back in time kind of guy And I think I miss out on probably a lot of, like, life and present moments sometimes like that. But I don't know if I'm that upset about it. Maybe that's just who I am on this trip. No, no.

12:26Theo Von:I mean, I don't think that's necessarily, you know. I mean, that's also just dreaming. Yeah, maybe it is.

12:34Chris Robinson:And I loved, I just loved, like, I think I just loved some of those years so much. I mean, are you kidding?

12:38Theo Von:If I could, like, if I could dress like a, you know, 17th century French aristocrat, I would. You know, I'd walk around with the wig and the like pants and I would like, you know. Oh, yeah. If they had chain mail. And I would feel great about it. I mean, I would feel great about it.

12:54Chris Robinson:That's a little, yeah. But if they had chain mail, like if you showed up to like say there was going to be people like there might be beef at this thing.

13:00Theo Von:Yeah. I mean, I think there was kind of always beef at those things. Yeah.

13:02Chris Robinson:That's a good point, dude. Yeah. So somebody that showed up in chain mail was just like a dude like who showed up with like.

13:08Theo Von:The richest, most powerful people are the most unhinged, obviously. They're like, run him through. Run him through. Run him through. I think we're there now, dude. I don't think it's ever been any different. Yeah. I mean, I also think the resistance is always there. Yeah, I hope it is. You know what I mean? I also think the moral compass will always show the way to what is right and what is wrong. And that doesn't have anything to do. That's just a fundamental we know what's right and wrong.

13:39Chris Robinson:Yeah.

13:40Theo Von:You know what I mean?

13:41Chris Robinson:You believe that, yeah.

13:43Theo Von:I do. I hope so, man. Because I've seen it happen. I mean, by the way, sometimes it doesn't come without a full-on struggle.

13:52Chris Robinson:Yeah. Because I've been worrying about that a lot recently. I'm like, you have to, like, we got to believe that morality wins, you know, somehow. Yeah.

14:03Theo Von:No, but again, these things are in a constant sort of struggle that keep going and going. I mean, forever. I mean, I know we like to think that. I know it's all now. Yeah. It's all our life. That life was, you know, there was Victorian people and then Crocs and airports. You know what I mean? But there's some other shit that happened in between your comfort and, you know, robber barons or whatever. But there is a constant line in it. You know what I mean? And so I don't know. what's that Clint Eastwood movie where

14:43Chris Robinson:Grit?

14:44Theo Von:no it's like a mid 70's one but the guy who plays like the Native American guy when they're talking about the troubles he goes we must endeavor to persevere and ever since I was a kid I was like yeah oh it's the outlaw Jesse Wales that's the one

15:04Chris Robinson:oh I've heard of that I've never seen it

15:06Theo Von:oh it's great Is it?

15:07Chris Robinson:It's great, yeah. I'm about to check that out, man. The Outlaw Josie Wales. Josie Wales. Yeah, and they just remade it, I think, actually.

15:14Theo Von:No, don't do it. I know.

15:18Chris Robinson:Rarely have they done it well.

15:19Theo Von:It's weird. Why? Leave it alone. Just come up with something else.

15:22Chris Robinson:I think it's just to get people that saw it once with nostalgia to go get them. Hey, come pay for it one more time. And just, you know it's not going to be that good, but there's a part of you that's going to connect.

15:31Theo Von:I don't really love musicals, but I love West Side Story. Yep. I like the newsies. I always did, you know? Yeah. And as a lyricist, one of the greatest lyrics of all time is in the Officer Crumpke song when the kid goes, I'm depraved on account of I'm deprived. And I was like, that's like fucking Bob Dylan. I'm depraved on account of I'm deprived. I mean, it is one of the great lyrics of all time. But then Steven Spielberg remakes West Side Story. I don't get it. I mean, he didn't call me. He didn't ask my opinion. Your opinion, but sure. I mean, I'm sure, you know, that's Steve. I mean, he's going to do what he wants to do.

16:11Chris Robinson:Yeah, man. Yeah, I wonder if I had made something wonderful, would I try and remake it later on? Like, I wonder what my desire would be in that.

16:22Theo Von:I mean, that, I don't, yeah, I wouldn't, I don't understand that.

16:27Chris Robinson:Is there times like that in your career where you've written like music that you really thought was great or that had commercial successes or something? And then later, have you ever been like, I need to try and get myself back into that space to write music like that again instead of trying to be like, I'm writing music from where I'm at?

16:48Theo Von:No. Does that make sense? Yeah, I hear you. But I'm not – I've always found it to be – I don't know. I've always found it to be the most sort of fulfilling just to be in the moment, you know, which is difficult, too, because, you know, it's hard. You know, it's hard to I it's hard to remain in the dream place sometimes. It's not hard for me. It's hard for everyone else because you have to deal. You know, I'm a husband. I have kids. You know, I pets. I have pets. So demanding. so much pressure from the pets. But the reality is I can't fully remove myself from the dream place or the muse or whatever you want to call it because I do understand that it's a very jealous entity and it will leave you.

17:45Theo Von:If you're not, it has to have its proper place.

17:49Chris Robinson:What does, you're saying?

17:50Theo Von:The muse, you know what I mean? That creative spark. It's like Quest for Fire. Do you know that movie? Ever seen Quest for Fire? Dude, we have to have a movie night. I mean, you're missing a lot of Quest for Fire. I've seen, whoa. The best, best.

18:04Chris Robinson:I look like I'm related to one of those people. We all are. We all are. There we go. I've seen, I think the first movie I ever saw was either like Jason Voorhees, like the killer guy at the lake. And then there was the movie. it was the guy the older guy he has the coke bottle and he throws it in Africa or whatever the gods must be crazy

18:27Theo Von:yes

18:27Chris Robinson:okay that's a pretty and Cheech and Chong that was an early one too that was like still kind of popping oh look at this guy my first movie

18:36Theo Von:I remember watching my parents let me stay up and watch Lord of the Flies fuck yeah nothing could be wrong with that that kind of fits you know it's like cool he'll like this and I did I fucking did

18:54Chris Robinson:that's crazy bro yeah that's great dude just like early influence and stuff I love that kind of stuff

18:59Theo Von:but the first movie I remember I always saw Patton with George C. Scott in the drive-in movie theater in my parents' car no with them do you know that film

19:09Chris Robinson:you know because it has that music I've seen this I've never seen the film it's good too oh my god it's epic

19:15Theo Von:like psycho general Patton

19:17Chris Robinson:Dude, yeah, I saw, oh, crazy. Psycho George C. Scott doing it. I mean, he's really. I got to tap in then. Yeah, I'm just kind of out of touch with some films. I did just, I started reading All's Quiet on the Western Front last night. Amazing.

19:30Theo Von:And the original, both of the films, the original one is unbelievably good. If you've ever, you should watch it. That's the one that they remade that was like on Netflix or something that was great. But that's the original one.

19:45Chris Robinson:The remake is good? The remake was fantastic.

19:47Theo Von:Oh, that's what I'm doing tonight. Watch the original one first, though. Okay. Don't sell yourself short. Okay. Go to the source.

19:56Chris Robinson:Yeah.

19:57Theo Von:It's incredible. It's incredible.

19:59Chris Robinson:Here's a situation where they made another one and it was good. But I guess it's not like a part two, though.

20:03Theo Von:No. And you're right. That is it. That is it. They did a good job. I loved it. I loved the modern one. But the original one is, to me, holds like the real magic of the thing. Okay.

20:18Chris Robinson:I did see The Jury. What's that movie, The Jury? It's like 12 Man. It's like...

20:22Theo Von:12 Angry Men. Yes, dude. It's a big one.

20:24Chris Robinson:Louis C.K. told me to watch that, and he was right, dude. It's great. Yeah. Yeah. Fantastic. So I appreciate it. I appreciate the recommendations. I don't get a ton.

20:32Theo Von:Like... I'm lucky because I'm old enough that when... And, you know, I grew up in Atlanta. we had three channels and then we had channel 36 or whatever and TBS and they played fucking movies yeah cause later it splinters off to Turner Classic Movies or whatever but when when there wasn't that much there's not that much content oh there wasn't much at all Beastmaster

20:56Chris Robinson:remember when that came on? on TBS dude? Beastmaster? they got those ferrets? that's right the ferrets remember this dude that was crazy Some white guy from WWF tickling a couple of pets. Dude, I was like, what is going on here? Yeah, really. All those fantasy movies are really strange. Dude, I loved times like that. We would ride our bikes to go get the videos at the video store, and they had, like, those Wild West doors on, like, the titty area. You know those? Don't watch it.

21:26Theo Von:I'm a product of, like, the early 80s, you know, VHS boom. And my parents had moved. they had made the regretful decision to move to the suburbs. That's the worst blow in life. You know what I mean? In Atlanta, if you moved from the city to the subs? Well, we had moved to Charlotte. And then when we moved back, yeah, we were in town. And then we moved to the sub. But my parents also, this is at the ripe time of them really being too disinterested in my life to edit what I was doing. so it was the great time at these stores of like the midnight movies and European movies you know what I mean and I had the fucking pick of whatever weird shit we wanted to watch like I remember my dad seeing us watching Eraserhead back then and he was just like why are you doing this to yourself?

22:23Theo Von:what is wrong with you? I'm like dad I mean we would watch we would watch David Lynch's The Elephant Man like all the time. You know what I mean? Like it's not a lark. Yeah, dude. This isn't a one-time opera.

22:39Chris Robinson:Like this, we would like play it again. You know what I mean? Like what the fuck? Were you like an angry child? Like where do you, because like music usually comes from like some feeling of youth, I feel like. Like a lot of that blast off energy does, like real music, like real like, you know, like whether you're going to become a musician or like an anarchist or a peeping Tom, that shit comes out of your childhood, you know?

22:59Theo Von:do you feel like crime and art yes yes fuck yeah vandalism and art uh yeah uh yeah there was the bad kid part of it and i think that's always been associated with rock and roll at least in our case because we just gravitated that that was our shit like we were into music so now we're in a band and let's go. How do we get in the grownup club to play? You know, we were kids, you know, how do we get in there? It's like, well, get, write some songs, you know, get better, get up there, do something. And, but it was, yeah, always the bad. Was your brother the same? I know. Cause you, he's not a bad kid.

23:46Theo Von:I mean, he kind of is bad and he was down for vandalism and shit too, but he's not as bad down for vandalism.

23:54Chris Robinson:That has to go on his headstone if he ever passes away.

23:58Theo Von:Down for vandalism and shit. Occasionally. Sorry to admit it. It gets like more of, you're going to need another stone. Yeah, yeah. Oh, dude, that'd be great. Two stones?

24:09Chris Robinson:Because, yeah, there's a little more to tell about them.

24:13Theo Von:People don't get buried anymore, though. Yeah.

24:16Chris Robinson:Did you see that stat that they're like, where are all the bodies going?

24:19Theo Von:Yeah. Well, I mean, they're throwing them in Lake Lanier or something. I don't know. Yeah. Where all the ashes go. I want you to take me up to the top of Stone Mountain. I don't want you to throw my ashes all over those Confederate fuckers up there.

24:34Chris Robinson:All right. Dude, one of my friends who works at TSA, he said that, I was like, what's some of the things that have been left in the thing? Ashes. He said four times they've had people that left somebody's ashes and never came back to get them.

24:44Theo Von:Where's Uncle Larry? Oh, I'm. He's at a layover. Yeah, totally. I asked you to go pick up your racist uncle Seth's ashes what are you doing I fucking left him on the plane

24:59Chris Robinson:fuck they're in Salt Lake City

25:00Theo Von:yeah

25:02Chris Robinson:god but that's wild bro that it ends up like that like I came online probably like as a human and maybe just like my brother listening to stuff like D.O. GNR Black Crow is one of the early albums that he had, you know, watching him, like, move his body. Our family could never dance well, and he would kind of, like, and we shared a room, you know? And sometimes he would set his weights down and fucking put it on and make me watch him kind of, which was the first time he and I ever, like, kind of engaged.

25:31Theo Von:Listen, man, I'm going to put my weights down, and I'm going to boogie a little bit. You cool with that? Yeah, yeah. That's never happened to me. It was kind of crazy, but it was like. You know what? This is more of my, I'm going to take down this badminton set. Then we're going to have some canopies. canopies and then you're going to all watch me dance. Yeah. So yeah, a little different. Yeah. I didn't take, I didn't lift weights.

25:56Chris Robinson:Yeah. He just like, yeah. But that was like when I first kind of came on with music and like watching it through my brother. And it's funny.

26:02Theo Von:That was the way a lot of people got, you know, I didn't, I wouldn't have known about like my dad, we, my dad had like Johnny Guitar Watson records and Jimmy Reed records and Bob Dylan, a lot of Moe's Allison, all sorts of eclectic stuff, but more kind of stuff. But my neighbor up the street, his older brother, he had all the Aerosmith records and shit. So we would like, and his mom was a dance teacher, so she had a stereo with this big loud speaker on it, and we would get down there and fucking, that's when I was like, oh, I like Aerosmith, you know? Dude, yeah. ACDC. Because that's the time you're around the neighborhood pool, you know?

26:44Theo Von:So everyone at the pool would be like, Back in Black when that shit came out? It was on the radio every five minutes. You know what I mean? And you were like, damn.

26:51Chris Robinson:Dude, you remember when the radio was like this omen and if it served you your song, it felt like a volcano had gone off just for you. It was exciting. And we all had it in common. That was one thing too. That was one thing that I liked about. And you'd think all the records were good,

27:07Theo Von:but it was really just a promo guy getting like hookers and like steaks and lobsters. to the program director and be like, fucking play this record and you'll get a BJ out of this. You know what I mean? Like, all right. I fucking love this record. Oh, dude. These guys are like back to Turner Overdrive, but even better. And they have such a mix. If you like BTO, you're going to fucking love these guys. Whoa.

27:37Chris Robinson:Yeah, dude. So many of those radio stations. I worked as a tour manager one time for a musician, and we would go to this guy, Josh Kelly, actually. He's out of Georgia as well. He's from Augusta, Georgia. His brother, Charles Kelly, played with Lady Antebellum. But we would, I was his tour manager, so we would just go all around to these radio stations, and I'd have to get them like donuts and stuff in the morning and coffee. But you're right. They'd be like, at 11 o 'clock today, we're having lobsters. It's like listening for lobster. And you'd have just some Muppets show up.

28:08Theo Von:Snow tires. You know what? When the Black Crows came out, I bought a lot of snow tires. I didn't know I was buying them till later in life when they show what you paid for because you're the only fucking band selling like 6 million records. You're like, who's got a new set of snow tires at WW whatever in Bangor, Maine? You know what I mean? Like, oh, they fucking played She Talks Angels 150 times last week. You know what I mean?

28:32Chris Robinson:Dude, that was, yeah, that's when it was more like a music mafia kind of thing. Don't get me wrong.

28:36Theo Von:A lot of good, a good song is a good song. Yeah. And there's a reason that those bands, you know what I mean, that those bands are those bands.

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31:41Theo Von:I mean, it took us a long time to get to the, how special it is for us.

31:46Chris Robinson:Who's a better brother, do you think?

31:51Theo Von:Well, obviously me. I mean, it doesn't even matter who's right or wrong. It's me. Of course. I mean, what a ridiculous question. I mean, I'm all— You heard it here, Rich.

32:03Chris Robinson:And that's your Christmas card, Rich. I'm older.

32:06Theo Von:I'm older. I'm Sagittarian. I'm the lead singer. It's me. Yeah. I don't know.

32:12Chris Robinson:I think— Like, the things you really admire about him. Like, my brother, I think, is way better than me. Yeah.

32:17Theo Von:I don't really size it up like that, but the things I admire about him are the same things that, like, ultimately, you know, he has an amazing heart inside of him. And he's a really genuinely sweet person. He's very, you know what I mean? The other things I love about him, he's, and again, you know what I mean? when things are going, when you're kids and all of a sudden you're in a local band and then six months later you're selling millions of records and everything's different, everything has changed, the pressure's on now, blah, blah, blah. I always knew my brother was talented. I chose to, you know, we were writing these songs together.

33:05We've always been the, Rich and I's composition is the engine

33:10Theo Von:for whatever the Black Crows are. It's been that way since we, before it was anything. But now I can, especially because, you know, we made this last record, and Rich plays all the bass and all the guitars. And I'm like, dude, I've fucking sat in the studio with him since the first time we're in the studio is 1987 or something. I've seen him do amazing things, you know, like beautiful music, inspired, dynamic things. But now I see, like, oh, wow, I really see it more than ever because I've, my perspective of what he is isn't tainted by any of my bullshit, whether that's my anger, resentment, ego, shit, whatever.

33:56Theo Von:Oh, yeah.

33:56Chris Robinson:Ego's so dangerous, dude. And I could see it really now so much clearer that it's like, and by the way, when I say that,

34:08Theo Von:we live in a world, throw a, you're in Nashville, throw a rock, hit a great guitar player. You know what I mean? There's so many talented people, so many talented musicians.

34:22Theo Von:And that is just the way it is, you know? But I really see my brother, I see his uniqueness, and I see how special he really is in his, in that world of guitarists. And I've gotten to play with some of the best musicians, you know what I mean? Yeah, no, that's cool. That's cool to hear. So lucky.

34:40Chris Robinson:That's a nice thought That's a nice compliment too I think

34:44Theo Von:If you ask Rich about me He'd say He's alright

34:50Chris Robinson:One of these

34:50Theo Von:He's pretty good

34:53Chris Robinson:How tough was it During some times Like was there ever a part Where you guys were like Not only are we not Going to keep playing I mean I know you guys Have storied throughout the years It's been like You know I'm sure like With any brothers Or with any bands Where it's like Things go apart Things come back together But was there ever a part Where you're like Shit we might not even Be brothers after this You know

35:10Theo Von:Uh, yeah. I mean, like, 2013 was, like, the last Black Crow thing before we... And, yeah. I mean, we went a long time without... Seven years without speaking. No way.

35:30Chris Robinson:And would you have certain feelings sometimes, like you wanted to talk to them, or sometimes did that stuff get clouded by, like, resentment and stuff? Yeah, you know what? I've had moments like that with family members.

35:38Theo Von:It was also kind of important to take the fucking kettle off the flame a little bit because sometimes those things, your work and your relationship, all of it was just, to me, like a kettle on the stove. No one's going to flip the thing so it stops like... But I think he needed that too. So it wasn't... I mean, I was, yeah, whatever. I was ugly and mean I lashed out when I shouldn't have I should have reached out You know what I mean?

36:14Chris Robinson:Yeah dude I've held resentments that were only like And I was the only one thinking about him Some of them weren't even real That's the craziest shit Of course

36:21Theo Von:That's the craziest shit You think people give a fuck and they don't You know what I mean? About whatever you're doing sometimes I mean I've been lucky too To just have whatever You know To keep it moving? Yeah. It sounds like that. And I don't, I really don't like to, it's, you know, I've tried to, for better or for worse, not to be a liar in my life. Because the idea of telling someone a lie and then having to remember what the fuck you said that wasn't the real thing that happened. Or however it happened to you. Or, you know, everyone's truth is their own thing or whatever. But yeah. But you know what I mean?

36:59Theo Von:They would be the same thing. Anything kind of fake or whatever. I'd rather, I'm cool. You know, not everybody has to think I'm great, you know? But meaning also, I don't have to act a certain way to pretend that that's something that is, well, it's just not normal. It's just not, you know what I mean? Oh, yeah.

37:23Chris Robinson:Well, a lot, I was just thinking of this as you were saying it, dude. I was like, your head kind of turns into like a library. I know that's kind of like a dumb play on words, but it's like now I have to go back in the shelves.

37:31Theo Von:Figure out what the fuck. I mean, that would be exhausting. dude that was a lot of like you know like i think i was probably lying to survive i don't even know

37:40Chris Robinson:what i was doing like for i think for certain years my childhood i was like i don't even know what's going on but like i'm still alive i'm gonna keep going and then one day you start to kind of get a little bit better perspective of yourself um and things start to adjust a little bit um was it was y 'all's band always going to be uh the black crows was there ever anything else was

37:58Theo Von:gonna be i know it had different names before that but we were missed a band called mr crow's garden in Atlanta.

38:03Chris Robinson:Yeah. Was it ever going to be a different animal though? It was always crows.

38:06Theo Von:Yeah. I mean, maybe we, I don't really, yeah. We didn't want to, we liked being, people just referred to your band and like, those guys are in the crows or whatever. Right. So we, I mean, I don't know. We liked that. And that's why we kept the E in the name because Mr. Crow was the guy's name in this book, Mr. Crow's garden. Um, that this girl had in her dorm at the University of Georgia and she showed it to me and that's just the way it was like oh yeah cool it's like psychedelic and like kind of 60s and we liked that aesthetic and um but yeah by the time you know I I remember we drove there's a place called Rome Georgia oh yeah I've heard of

38:51Chris Robinson:it I think I did a show actually and uh no maybe I didn't I've heard of it yeah it's north kind of

38:56Theo Von:east of Atlanta, I think. There used to be, I don't know if it's still there, a boarding school called Darlington or whatever. My dad went there and my brother went to boarding school there, which is funny. And there was a little club there and we had a gig and we drove up there and we had made our first album. And we drove up there. Were we all driving, you remember? A van, like we had a van. It was probably my dad's van or something he let us use. Fuck yeah, dad. We drove up there. way to go big Stan and we said by the time we fucking rolled in the parking lot we were like we're the Black Crows everybody hip to that like this is what it is we're the Black Crows that's what we are we go in we fucking set up our shit we do sound check and we're playing Jealous Again Twice as Hard like songs that would later you know that record

39:48Chris Robinson:yeah for sure

39:49Theo Von:the band we get off stage there's a bar down the street we're gonna go have a couple drinks the band that is opening for us was like a dad and like his daughter and their like cousin or some family shit. And they were like, they set up and we were like, all right, like weird. So we come back, we're the Black Crows. We walk in the club. There's the only people there are the dad, the daughter and the cousin in the band. And they're sitting at a table eating Subway sandwiches. And I'm like, we're the Black Crows. And we played Jealous Again. and they're just like eating their sandwiches. They're like, three people, four people.

40:28Theo Von:I was like, oh, fucking hell, this isn't going well.

40:31Chris Robinson:Those were school, and it was at a school? No, it was at a club, yeah,

40:34Theo Von:but just somehow they put these people on, you know, the family on the bill. The only way this story could be better is if they had been a Christian group, but I don't know if that's that.

40:46Chris Robinson:I can only hope. One time there was a guy that was kind of hitting me up. I don't know if he was a pedophile and he thought I was younger. Let's hope he was. Oh, for sure, dude. Because look, he needed something to do in his older years, but maybe he thought I was young enough because a lot of times pedophiles will... He's like,

41:02Theo Von:I'm so bored. Yeah.

41:07Chris Robinson:It's time to commit a crime against all nature. But I'm just saying that like, because sometimes pedophiles will drive by and you'll be like, no, I'm 40, you know? Like they just don't, you know what I'm saying? It's your hair. Yeah, and some of them don't have good glasses. It's all types of things. It's eyewear, it's healthcare. It's a lot of stuff.

41:24Theo Von:The guy's not wearing his prescription. He's wearing the glasses with the big nose because he's on the sex offenders registry. He doesn't want anyone to recognize him.

41:35Chris Robinson:Well, I miss the old pedophile that at least had the peeping Tom, the ladder hanging out of the back of the truck.

41:40Theo Von:The old pedophile was your family like, don't sit on Uncle Oscar's lap. You know what I mean? They're like, why would they invite the pedophile uncle? He's like, kids want some quarters? like no you know you know what we want we want justice for your victims you fucking sick fuck that's what we want he's like I gotta roll the quarters in the middle of my pants and you're like

42:02Chris Robinson:that's crazy

42:03Theo Von:who wants to dig

42:04Chris Robinson:for loose change like fuck you know but dude those are the back when they had pedophiles it was just a different time I mean now they have them but now they're like rich people are doing it dude I was thinking

42:14Theo Von:the other day there's a famous character it could be on Sonny and Cher or Maude or anything, the guy who runs over in a coat. Totally. That's a character on movies and TV shows. He'd have a hat on and he'd run over there. That's a guy. Yeah. It was a thing that was on. You just saw it as a kid on TV. I thought, hey, there's that guy, as if he was a colorful neighborhood character or something. Yeah, like a dude selling.

42:43Chris Robinson:It's fucking horrible.

42:45Theo Von:Yeah. By the way, that's a flasher bizarre raincoat people, which is a great band name. We're flasher bizarre raincoat people. You're going to love us. I mean, really love us.

43:01Chris Robinson:Well, I'll tell you this. I remember one time my uncle, I was in Atlanta, and I didn't really know him. It was like a girl. My dad had like a daughter from his first marriage. He drops him off over there. She had an Italian husband who was like semi out of work, kind of had an advertising agency and played mariachi music at night, right? So he takes me to the wine shop or whatever because I think he wanted to go talk to a woman, so he just dropped me off in there for a little while. A flash comes up, a lady goes. I remember this. She's like, have you seen my kitty? And I'm thinking like, I was probably 12 maybe, and I'm in this store and I'm looking at these big bottles.

43:35Chris Robinson:They had some big bottles of wine. And I was thinking like, I don't know. I don't think so. And then she just showed her body like that, the front of her body or cooter and breasts or whatever. And I didn't know what had happened, really. I didn't know if I was in trouble. Cooter and Breast.

43:49Theo Von:That's the new pub everyone's going to in Nashville. It's right over by Donuts and Dildos. Yeah, there's a father and daughter.

43:56Chris Robinson:We don't go there anymore. There's a father and daughter in there eating Subway right now as you pull up. But that was a crazy time where I saw a flasher. That is fucking weird.

44:04Theo Von:In the liquor store. In the liquor store. How old were you? I was probably 12, maybe. That's the perfect place for you to be when you're 12. Why don't you just wander around? why don't you wander around the French whites over there? Yes, those are Bordeaux's. Yeah, that's a puif we say if you don't like it. Yeah, yeah, but, you know, if you don't like the fumet, it's nice as well. I'll be back in an hour and a half. Have some salted peanuts. Yeah.

44:30Chris Robinson:But, fuck, that was the days when any other, any building that was open was kind of a babysitter, you know? Yeah, yeah. Parents would just drop you off or, like, significant people in your life.

44:39Theo Von:Dude, the day my parents realized, like, they could split for the weekend and like rich and i probably wouldn't die they were gone you know what i mean like here they would leave put like this is an emergency 20 bill yeah and then it would be like there's two gallons of ice cream and steakums in the refrigerator they had these things called steakums and they were like bring them up those bitches were nasty thin slices of

45:03Chris Robinson:some sort steak every time you ate them a dolphin died somewhere by the way i mean hey post malone

45:10Theo Von:you should get Steak 'Em on your face. That would look cool. You know what I mean? Who's got face tattoos? Jelly Roll. Jelly Roll.

45:18Chris Robinson:Get fucking Steak 'Em. Oh, he would definitely be good for Steak 'Em.

45:21Theo Von:Yeah, slice. Get the whole thing. He should get Steak 'Em.

45:24Chris Robinson:Not anymore, you know? Since he lost so much weight. Dude, that'd be crazy.

45:29Theo Von:Steak. No thanks. Yeah. No thanks.

45:34Chris Robinson:Dude, that's rocking, bro. At least on your neck or something. Steak 'Em's. Did you? Oh, Steak 'Em's. Yeah, it is more of a neck thing than a face thing. I think we're getting to that place where people are going to start renting out their body spaces exactly for tattoos, just people to survive. We're already at the place where a lot of people are selling their bodies on OnlyFans and over their phones and stuff like that. So it's definitely getting to a unique spot.

45:57Theo Von:What do you mean? They're selling their bodies?

45:59Chris Robinson:Just like selling sexual videos and stuff. Oh, okay. I guess that's not their bodies, really. You know? I mean, they're souls, but whatever. I mean, I'm just kidding. Actually, it might be more.

46:08Theo Von:Just kidding.

46:09Chris Robinson:It might be more souls.

46:10Theo Von:Whatever, it's the oldest profession in the world. I agree.

46:13Chris Robinson:And look, I've supported it, so I'm not, you know, no big judgment.

46:17Theo Von:You know what I mean? Look, I mean, to you, I'm glad you have a healthy relationship with it after the kiddie lady at the liquor store when you were 12. That's traumatic.

46:24Chris Robinson:I still try as hard as I can to remember what she looked like, and I can't exactly. I can remember the outline of her, but I can't remember, like, the end line, and that's what I think I wanted to be.

46:33Theo Von:I didn't see her, but if I close my eyes, I see the green lady from Star Trek.

46:37Chris Robinson:Ooh, bring her up. I don't remember her exactly, but I believe I mean, I know it's your memory There she is, it's her, right? Yeah, it was her It was her, dude Sorry God, dude I knew it But yeah, I remember that

46:54Theo Von:I'm trying to think of what else Kids today, they have everything at their fingertips When we were kids, you had to wait until the Green Lady episode of Star Trek came on Which is probably only once or twice a year Yeah

47:03Chris Robinson:You had to play back a movie You had to play back a movie And try to pause it right at the spot where there's a part of a tit or whatever

47:10Theo Von:Yeah, I mean, it was, you know.

47:11Chris Robinson:And you had to listen so hard for somebody coming in the front door because there's only one TV in the living room. You didn't have your own TV in your room to touch your body to or whatever.

47:20Theo Von:Yeah, to put your weights down and touch your body.

47:22Chris Robinson:Yeah, and dance for your brother. Or myself. Or whoever. Once we got a mirror in my room, he didn't need me anymore. That was the crazy part. That's the worst. It was the wildest, dude. It's good to know. That's a good, you know, all of it is adding.

47:40Theo Von:You know, the rejection of that deep wound. Oh, dude. And of Beaver Lady, Kitty Lady. It was there. Yeah. And you probably, did you ever work in a liquor store after that? You're like, this is pretty nice.

47:55Chris Robinson:No, I worked at a shrimp in video, though. We had shrimp. We'd shrimp out a pound and come rent a movie over there. Pat's shrimp in video.

48:01Theo Von:But did you have other movies other than Forrest Gump? Yeah. We just had 200 copies of Forrest Gump. and one copy in the back of Foreskin Gump, which is a different movie altogether.

48:14Chris Robinson:Bro, I had no fucking clue you were this hilarious, dude. That's awesome. Thank you, bro. I was having a shitty day. I know.

48:21Theo Von:Foreskin Gump usually isn't in the press release before I show up, but I said, you know, fuck it, you're drinking Sonic and shit. I'm like, might as well. You know what I mean? I'm like, man, you know what I mean? After the whole Foreskin thing, I'm not getting any fucking... Who's going to have me? You know what I mean? Foreskin gump, yeah.

48:41Chris Robinson:What did we watch?

48:43Theo Von:I actually saw that on the spine of a porno in New York in the old Tower Records by Lincoln Center up there. To be honest with you, full disclosure, I wasn't in the porno section. I was obviously going around to the free jazz documentaries. No, I wasn't. But I saw it. They didn't have... Oh, and is that guy in blackface? They did it. Let's hope. Again, let's hope it's worse than we could ever imagine. But they had all the covers off of the video. This was before DVDs. They had all the covers off of them, but just the words in black. And there's a thousand words, and my brain goes, da-da-da-da-da-da, foreskin gum.

49:28I was like, I've never forgotten it.

49:30Chris Robinson:Dude, that's great. Yeah, I don't remember the first part. I knew my, I saw, they had a stack of videos. and I remember jerking off and blacking out. I just couldn't handle it. I couldn't handle any feelings, especially not that much at once.

49:43Theo Von:Yeah, yeah.

49:44Chris Robinson:And it was like, ah.

49:45Theo Von:Well, they say the first time is, you know. It's all you need.

49:50Chris Robinson:You're never the same. You're never the same. Did you have, because I know you had experience with drugs and stuff over the years. Did you try different drugs and thinking that they would help you write or create certain music? Was there ever any of that energy? or is that something that musicians even do, really? I mean, I've always done my writing.

50:12Theo Von:I might be a little stoned sometimes, but I've never did drugs to write. You know what I mean? I mean, I've... So that wasn't a thing. But, you know, like psychedelics, they're in my writing, but I don't take psychedelics to write. All of it, all of it's in there. You know, I mean, I was a person...

50:36Theo Von:fairly well adjusted in some ways. I never took drugs to blotto myself out. I always, I truly, and talking about my romantic relationship with drugs, and okay, those lines can become blurry at a certain point in my life. But I always kind of knew what was going on. I was never into speed and shit I mean I was a coke person and you know hard drugs in the 90s but speed thank god like only a few times I ever tried it it was just the worst feeling thing it just didn't go with my chemistry but I yeah I fucking love drugs you know what I mean I don't do them I'm I'm going to be 60 years old this year.

51:31Theo Von:And I love my life and my responsibility. And to do what I do, I can't do that. You know what I mean? It's to sing and sing at a high level, hopefully. The workload is, you know, when you're 25, you can do that shit and get up and... Oh, yeah, dude.

51:53Chris Robinson:It's a different story as you get older. I'm in recovery now from drugs, and it's like... yeah, dude, I liked it. And if they came out with a version that was better for you. They have it. It's called pharmaceutical cocaine.

52:06Theo Von:It's just really fucking hard to forget. Are you serious? I mean, I tried it. I mean, it was not. I didn't even know that they had pharmaceutical cocaine. Yeah, it's on another. Look it up. Yeah, bring it up. Put it up. Yeah, bring it up.

52:21Chris Robinson:Let's see what Bear Monsanto is up to this week. new pharmaceutical cocaine. That's what we're looking for. Probably.

52:29Theo Von:Well, even the old one, I think it's better than the average. I got this at the bowling alley. Yeah.

52:35Chris Robinson:I got it when it was still at the bag was still warm from somebody's hand. Of course. And if you, if you didn't do it while it was warm, it was bad. It was like Chinese food. Pharmaceutical cocaine refers to purified cocaine hydrochloride used in controlled medical settings, distinct from illicit street forms. It's classified as a Schedule II narcotic controlled substance in the U.S. due to its medical value despite high abuse potential. Yep.

53:01Theo Von:Fantastic. Huh. That's the best Yelp review I've ever read.

53:09Chris Robinson:Dude, it makes me think about this. My favorite joke I ever heard, right? It goes, what's the last thing you want to hear when you're giving a blowjob to Willie Nelson? I'm not Willie Nelson. Okay. I don't know why that's it's not my joke and I don't know whose it is but it's my favorite joke ever so for some reason I just had to share it with you I like it I like it thanks man thanks

53:34Theo Von:all I can think about is a sea of red and gray pubic hair now you know what I mean that's all I will I'll go to sleep thinking of oh yeah so cheers I can't remember what she had

53:46Chris Robinson:she could have had a cock on her I have no idea you were just so shocked I was so shocked that somebody would do this I couldn't understand that there was nothing under a coat This was in Atlanta? This was in, yep, this was in Atlanta I want to say Peachtree, not road They're all Peachtree They're all Peachtree There's a few Civil Rights Boulevard, something like that It was a lot of action That's every street It really was Do you remember a time when you got the highest you ever did in your life? Do you remember a time when you got too high?

54:19Theo Von:Yeah, yeah, a couple times a couple times I got too high. One time, our old keyboard player in the Black Crows in the 90s is this guy Eddie Harsh. Ed was older, you know, and he'd been in the blues scene, and Ed was really my drug professor, you know, and he taught me a lot about not just music and stuff, but especially, you know, the underground business we were in at the time. He looks a little native, huh? He's Ukrainian, actually. Oh, wow. Yeah, his parents came to Toronto after World War II.

54:55Chris Robinson:Oh, Canadians are good.

54:56Theo Von:But one night we were on the bus, and he had like a couple of bags of shake, fucking weed, and Ed talked like this, man. He's like, man, I'm going to go get some brownie mix at the truck stop. I'm like, all right, all right. I'm fucking, I don't know. He comes down the bus, and he takes two bags of shake and pours it in this little thing of microwave. brownie mix and he mixes that shit up. He's like smoking a cigarette shit. And he put that in there and I was like, all right. I mean, I don't know. How fucked up can we get? And he put the icing on it and he said, you eat half and I'll eat half.

55:35Theo Von:And I was like, then I was a racer head. You know what I mean? It was a nightmarish. It was either 10 ,000 days or five minutes of complete mind-ripping hell. I thought, only death can save me. And it was just dumb. I just didn't know. You know what I mean? I was like, oh, I'll eat half of it. It was the dumbest shit I ever did in my life. Except the only worst drug experience I ever had. I was a kid, and a kid at my school gave me some Redman chewing tobacco. But just like a piece like this, I fucking put that shit in my mouth. And my parents had gone out or whatever. Five minutes later, first it felt amazing.

56:28Theo Von:The stars were brighter. The world had a warm glow. 30 seconds after that, I can still taste the back of my teeth from throwing up. so horribly in my parents' bushes at our house. Yeah. In Jackson's Creek subdivision. Sounds like the worst CWT. Yeah, yeah, the worst CW show. This episode, you know, Skyler gives Jasper chlamydia. You know what I mean? Where did you get it? I don't want to tell you. I got it from Uncle Oscar. Yeah, this week. Well, he's not my uncle. You're Uncle Oscar. this week on Jackson's Creek.

57:07Chris Robinson:I could totally see it, dude. Fuck, bro. Yeah, there was something about being in the neighborhood. There was something about doing drugs, dude. I loved it. I remember... I was scared of drugs so long.

57:18Theo Von:I didn't start until I was older.

57:20Chris Robinson:Dude, I remember one time doing some shit. Somebody gave me something supposed to be cocaine or something, and I knew it was like a performance-enhancing drug, right? And this is the second time I'd ever... This is the first time I'd ever gotten it for myself. I'd done it twice, like out in Tucson. I was working as a busboy and people said it was like a performance enhancer, right?

57:38Theo Von:You will be able to clean these tables so much better than you were doing before. Wait, you dropped a fork. 100%. Yeah, right?

57:46Chris Robinson:100 % though. So I did this shit. I'm down in Baton Rouge and I just start, I was like, well, I'm going to go for a good run. I'm going to get a strong run in. So I'm running, I'm stopping and doing this shit. And at a certain point, I was, I just got, I got really squirreled out. Like I was afraid to run, right? But I was wearing Umbrose. remember umbros shorts i was wearing umbros and shoes and no shirt right and i was like oh man it's typical louisiana men's wear i get it typical swink on the train tracks type of energy okay you're like okay so i'm running right through like tiger land uh which is like right around lsu campus and there was like a fence and so i jump in these i jumped over this fence i was like i can't be it's too many people are out here driving by jump over this fence and i'm in a kind of like a backyard area and they had a, like a little bird bath or whatever.

58:33Chris Robinson:And I remember I was drinking out of that bird bath when the people came outside. I'm like, what the fuck are you doing? You know, you're like,

58:40Theo Von:I'm trying to get a tapeworm. What does it look like? I'm doing, what do you think I'm doing? I'm just stopping. I'm ingesting water and bird feces. So mind your own business. Yeah. I'm having an episode.

58:56Chris Robinson:I'm having a hurricane Katrina martini.

58:59Theo Von:I was in Baton Rouge a few years ago, and we went to get some food, some good food. It was a little bit out of town. And at the time, Camille and I, we weren't married yet, but I had a Prius at the time. I don't know, the shame. But I remember eating and looking out at the restaurant, and I was like, man, I haven't seen a Prius since I got into Louisiana. So I saw fucking trucks and fucking more trucks and shit. I was like, if we pulled in here in a Prius, they would fucking kill us. It would be, yeah, it's not. I mean, this was a while ago. It's frowned upon. No, it's frowned upon. Maybe the Prius stigma's over there or something.

59:40Theo Von:I don't even have them anymore. I don't know. It would still be kind of frowned upon a little bit. But it'd be understood maybe, you know. I had one because I wanted to know what erectile dysfunction felt like. Oh, yeah. So I got one. Yeah. And then I was like, this isn't so good. This isn't what I was. This isn't for me.

59:57Chris Robinson:God, dude. That would be my band name, probably erectile dysfunction over the years.

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1:00:28Theo Von:Hilton for this day.

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1:03:06Chris Robinson:I know that you had a, like a, you're a Grateful Dead fan and that you guys have kind of crossed paths over the years. Yeah, yeah. And you've played with some of their musicians.

1:03:15Theo Von:Yeah, I spent a lot of time in the old realms of the GDs. Yeah.

1:03:20Chris Robinson:Did you go to Bob Weir's funeral?

1:03:23Theo Von:I did not. I did not. I wasn't.

1:03:27Chris Robinson:Were people even invited to it? I don't even know how to say that.

1:03:29Theo Von:I mean, I'm sure they had a private service for him and then they had a public thing. And, yeah, I mean, I was super lucky to, you know, rise to the ranks of so many musicians that I've respected and loved. And, you know, we were talking about Bob today, and I was like, Bob's great, his great gift is his truly unique, Truly outside-the-box musician. Somebody who just his whole, that's how he was. You know what I mean? Just very unique Bob Weir. You know? Like, no one thought like him or played like him or, you know. And that's, again, when you look at the world of music, full of unique characters, full of unique voices, full of talented people, sometimes troubled people.

1:04:30Theo Von:You know what I mean? And then you have someone like Bob who really stood out. I mean, that's what made The Grateful Dead so special. It's funny how things that start off like that and then become sort of so popular with, you know, it starts off, I mean, The Grateful Dead start off as kind of scary, like art rock, acid, heavy acid. you had to be pretty brave, I think, to go see The Grateful Dead in 1968. Yeah. That's a good point. Because you were coming out on the other side. You know what I mean? Like, ooh, there was no micro-dosing, you know? Yeah. Back then, you know, there was no coward's dose, as I call it.

1:05:12Theo Von:Like, guess what? A guy at Columbia University said I could take mushrooms. I'm like, what? Yeah, read this article. I'm like, what about all of us in the fucking trenches for years? You know what I mean? What about us all over here who bought a cow? Yeah, what about all the brain damage we have? You know what I mean? I could have told you that shit. Oh, dude. No brain damage. I'm just kidding. No. But like what? But see that? You know, you said you like Cheecho Chong. Think about it. Now we're talking about I took a microdose. I'm happy, by the way.

1:05:43Chris Robinson:Don't take my being sarcastic wrong.

1:05:46Theo Von:Whatever it takes to get you through the night To have a nice life And deal I'm happy But you know like And Cheech and Chag When he's like He goes That's the most acid I ever saw him And he's like And he's like He's like laughing at it Like that's the drug scene we grew up in Like go ahead man I hope you have like a month You know what I mean Good luck out there

1:06:08Chris Robinson:Look at him right there Play it I want to see this actually This is great Work your way up to these god damn bananas That's it

1:06:17Theo Von:Finkelstein shit kid son of a bitch.

1:06:21Chris Robinson:I'll start you off with the strawberries and work your way up.

1:06:25Theo Von:What does he say? Bend and scoop.

1:06:29Chris Robinson:Hey man. Am I driving okay?

1:06:36Theo Von:That's in Malibu on PCH. Is it really? Yeah. I think we're parked, man.

1:06:42Chris Robinson:Yeah. That's perfect. Like, people don't even realize how much that scene has been used in other movies since then because of that scene, right? It kind of goes back to, like, what we were talking about earlier.

1:06:53Theo Von:That's false advertising, that. I always, my favorite shit in the whole movie, though, is the thing I love when he's like, yeah, these are waiter uniforms. He's like, yeah, man, we want to look the same but different, you know, like a band, you know? It's a fucking, anytime, you know, someone's like, yeah, they look like a band, you know? Yeah, I know Curtis, man.

1:07:13Chris Robinson:Oh, I don't even remember that. My brain's a little bit bad sometimes. I think I had an amnish.

1:07:21Chris Robinson:Fuck, I don't know what it's called. Good. At least it took away whatever it's called.

1:07:24Theo Von:Yeah, kicked in the head by a mule. Is that what it's called?

1:07:28Chris Robinson:Wherever your brain is, there's fucking something's wrong with it. I think I got that, bro.

1:07:32Theo Von:You're like, yeah, something happened to my brain. I got kicked in the head by a mule.

1:07:36Chris Robinson:Was there an artist's death over the years? I mean, I know that's a weird question, but was there like an artist's death that you feel like had the most effect on you as a musician kind of? Or just as like a human being, I guess? I don't know.

1:07:51Theo Von:I mean, yeah, but probably my personal friends who have passed away who are great musicians have always affected me. Todd Schneider passing away, dear friend. Bring up a picture of him. Special, special person. Freak. Freak in the world. lovely, lovely person I had a very special friendship with him very sad but like big people that I don't know or whatever, like when Prince died I was, cause I grew up I mean, I fucking love Prince so much

1:08:29Chris Robinson:Prince hurt a lot of people, like I remember a lot of my friends being a lot more shocked than I thought they would when Prince died

1:08:35Theo Von:I thought Prince would have got a little more murals and t-shirts but it looked like David Bowie got all that And I love David Bowie too, but I was like, I just, I mean, Prince, ever since I, you know, I grew up in Atlanta when I was like, before I got into like rock and like sort of punk and indie rock scene, I played a little high school basketball. and I was obsessed with funk, P-Funk Records, George Clinton, but I was there like Zap, Gap Band, SOS, Slave, Prince, The Time, Vanity Six. I was like Rick James. Dude, that's sick. I loved Rick James, man. As a matter of fact, I have a scar under here.

1:09:25Theo Von:Rick James was playing the Cool Jazz Festival at the old Atlanta Fulton County Stadium and my dad knew a DJ at V103 FM, which was like the funk station. So this is kind of all before like rap music takes over. And I had tickets to go see Rick James and Cameo, who I mean, Cameo was the other one that I loved. And Frankie Beverly and Mays was on there, a bunch of R &B bands. And my friend had got a bottle of vodka and we got so fucked up the day before that I jumped in this. My parents found me in the neighborhood swimming pool in the shallow end. I had jumped in, and my chin was cut open. I was bleeding in the pool, and people were like, get the fuck out of the pool, man.

1:10:06Theo Von:I was 15 years old. I was like, I'm going to get out of the fucking pool. You get out of the fucking pool. I mean, I'm out of my mind. And I look up, and there's my mom and dad or my brother, and I had missed basketball, like spring basketball practice or whatever. My dad's like, what the fuck are you doing? Why are you bleeding in the pool? I was like, what? and I got in the car and I was just like hey another thing you guys know that Rick James had a hovercraft he fucking does I mean I'm pretty sure he does whatever I'm just drunk my brother's like you need to fucking smell like booze and you need to shut the fuck up I'm like bleeding I go get stitched up I go home I pass out my dad fucking kicks me awake at like fucking five in the morning I have a full grown up hangover it's five in the morning he's like we're going for a run We fucking run three miles.

1:10:55Theo Von:Stan? It was like the great Stan Tini. We run three miles. I didn't throw up or anything. We got to like the last 50 yards and he was like, man, you know you're not going to that fucking concert today. I was like, God damn.

1:11:08Chris Robinson:He said no.

1:11:09Theo Von:He said you fucked up yesterday. What do you think? What do they do? Guilt me. What do you think your mother thinks? Probably happy that I'm safe. They never let you answer that. That is done, Father.

1:11:23Chris Robinson:Yeah. They never let you into that. So I never saw Rick James. Did you want, that is a bad one. Oh, dude, one of the first shows I ever went to, Smashing Pumpkins. Actually, my buddy and I had a pedophile that dropped us off at Marilyn Manson. We were underage. We were probably, I think, 14, 15. He dropped us off at Marilyn Manson at the Rendon Inn over there in New Orleans, which was pretty wild. But the first concert.

1:11:50Theo Von:You have like an exorbitant amount of pedos in your neighborhood. You know that, right?

1:11:54Chris Robinson:We were kind of kids who were like looking for like people to be around. And so I didn't. Who's around are like creepy dudes. I'll take you guys. Yeah. Yeah, totally. So it's always like, oh, we, you know, and you don't realize there a guy's a pedo. You think he's just a cool guy. Then you get older and you're like, oh, that guy was 37 hanging out with us. Yeah. You know, smoking pot and fucking, you know, trying to tickle.

1:12:13Theo Von:Hey, I'll wait for you guys in the parking lot. Trying to tickle everybody.

1:12:15Chris Robinson:Yeah. Horrible. It's so gross. Dude, the craziest part was, though, my best friend Scott, his dad knew the guy who was like the pedo guy. This one guy, Mr. Richard. So I would write letters from Mr. Richard to my buddy Scott and mail him to his house all the time. That's fucked up. And his stepdad was fucked up. And good shit. That's good shit, too.

1:12:36Theo Von:I get it. I like the, you know. That's the shit I love, bro. I know. Just the psychological torture.

1:12:42Chris Robinson:Yes.

1:12:42Theo Von:Yeah, I get it.

1:12:43Chris Robinson:I get it. And his stepdad would be like, oh, you still talking to this motherfucker? and he'd come in and just throw the fucking mail right at him. And they already had the worst relationship. He didn't know, right?

1:12:53Theo Von:No, he didn't. He thought it was the real guy.

1:12:56Chris Robinson:No idea, dude. I'd send him like four Christmas cards every year from this dude, bro. Because when you're a pedophile, I bet they fucking love Christmas, I bet. You know? I mean, yeah. Because it's just an old dude stopping in and getting fucking and relating with children. That's all it is.

1:13:11Theo Von:Dude, look at the old Christmas pictures. Your parents took you down to some guy, some drunk in a beard, and you sat on his lap. He's like, you know what I mean? I'm sure if Boy Scout guys are pedos, then the Santa guys, there had to be one, one or two. It's like, oh, we went to the Easter Bunny. I know the Easter Bunny had an erection. You know what I mean? How could you tell? I could just fucking tell. You know what I mean? and it wasn't about pagan rabbit fucking. This was real.

1:13:45Chris Robinson:No, this is real. Yeah. God-given blood to muscle erection.

1:13:50Theo Von:Yeah. The science of the thing.

1:13:52Chris Robinson:Yeah, thank you. Yeah, yeah. That's great. Somebody's a peanut problem and their friend is just the scientific guy. It's the science of the thing.

1:13:58Theo Von:It's a scientific thing.

1:14:00Chris Robinson:You got an open and have opened for you like so many amazing groups. Is there like a tour or a part of like your music or I guess even maybe your musical life that you would go back to and redo if you could kind of? I know you said you're not a go-back guy.

1:14:17Theo Von:Yeah, it is what it is. You know what I mean? Like, again, I – and I've had the opportunity in life if I've made – you know what I mean? If there was something that I felt that I was involved in that was rude, I don't know, whatever. I've had the opportunity to tell people, man, that was fucked up. You know what I mean? Whatever. I mean, I mean it. I wouldn't say it if I didn't mean it. But I don't care to change anything. Right. You know, they say, what's your letter to your younger self? I'm like, I don't know if that would have meant anything.

1:15:00Chris Robinson:That's a good point. What younger self would give a fuck?

1:15:03Theo Von:You know, it's funny because I was saying the other day, like, I love Steven Tyler he's been supportive he's a friend I'm always there for him and I was telling this story when we sold a lot of records on the first record he called me and goes save your money man and I was like I'm 24 I'm like I'm not saving my money like I love you and I appreciate the wisdom because you've been through it all in this business I've made one record you know what I mean like I did appreciate the advice but I was also like Like, I'm a, I, no way. Am I, no way is this the, I'm not just made the first record and had this success and now's the time to play it safe.

1:15:47Theo Von:You know what I mean? I was like, well, that doesn't make any sense to me.

1:15:51Chris Robinson:That's a good point. Did you get something, did you ever get something that was pretty wild kind of? Like something cool?

1:15:56Theo Von:No.

1:15:57Chris Robinson:Like a skull or something, like a human bone or whatever?

1:16:00Theo Von:I mean, someone gifted me a human skull later. that was through weird Grateful Dead stuff there was no members of the Grateful Dead

1:16:09Chris Robinson:it was like at a park in like a trade

1:16:11Theo Von:no no someone gave it to me but my extravagance has always been the same I like clothes and I like travel I like to travel I'm obsessive I'm obsessed with food I'm obsessed with cuisines from my travels and around the world. Like grapes and stuff like that? Food, just the food, you know what I mean? Yeah. A lot of my downtime when we travel is based around food. So that's a bit bougie. But really all I spend money on truly is books and records. I've been collecting records since I was 12 and books as well. So it's just a giant clusterfuck of, you know, I moved out of my parents' house in 1987 with just cases of records and boxes of books.

1:17:11Theo Von:And it's still the same thing, kind of. Yeah. But, yeah, I'm not a car guy. Yeah. I don't have, like, rare guitars and shit.

1:17:20Chris Robinson:Yeah. Yeah, I don't really, like, I don't really spend money on almost anything. I kind of, I care about it. But I guess you're right. Like, getting to go places, I'm realizing, is a little bit more important. I was just in have you been to Oahu?

1:17:33Theo Von:No Maui? I was in Kauai once

1:17:37Chris Robinson:Oh that's cool Yeah I went to Oahu they had like a surf competition going on it's like a like a real one you know Not like the Brady Bunch? Right but yeah they had this competition was going on

1:17:47Theo Von:Amazing

1:17:47Chris Robinson:But it only happens if the weather permits so like each morning you kind of have to get there and see if it

1:17:54Theo Von:And hope that the conditions Yeah

1:17:56Chris Robinson:and hope that the conditions are cool but it was pretty incredible just to

1:17:59Theo Von:When I go to the ocean things, I like to go to Jamaica.

1:18:02Chris Robinson:Ooh. I have a lot of... You ever see Diplo down there? I think he has a house down there.

1:18:06Theo Von:No, I mean... He's a DJ. I've never been invited.

1:18:10Chris Robinson:I'm going to tell them.

1:18:11Theo Von:I'm kind of in the country, too. A place called Bluefield. It's been very... Bluefields, Jamaica? Bluefields Bay, yeah. In Westmoreland, in Westmoreland. There's Bluefields, yeah. Actually, I stayed at that place, the second one to the left. Yeah, I stayed at that place. No way. A long time ago. Wild. Dude, that's wild. But the hurricane was brutal there. Brutal. Brutal. It was really sad. But Jamaicans are incredible people.

1:18:40Chris Robinson:So that's your place if you choose to go to a beach. That's your spot.

1:18:43Theo Von:I like to go to Jamaica, yeah.

1:18:44Chris Robinson:Yeah.

1:18:45Theo Von:I like Jamaicans. I like Jamaican food and... Bananas and meat. I like sweet sop and sour sops. And I... There you go. Oh, that looks good. We have a Jamaican dog that's named Bami because in Jamaica we eat a cassava root that's kind of deep fried like a hash brown. It's called Bami. There's a piece of Bami. So that's kind of the color of our dog when we found her. She was a street dog in Jamaica. Oh, did you ever meet that guy down there, McAfee, that virus guy? You ever meet that guy? No, when I go, I've been going for years. We always just take off to the country. You know what I mean? Just chill.

1:19:22Theo Von:I have really close people there. They're the most soulful, incredible people. And we just fucking play dominoes and laugh. And there's Bambi Longface. It's our Jamaican dog.

1:19:35Chris Robinson:That's a nice animal.

1:19:36Theo Von:She's the best. She has another name. The perfect one.

1:19:42Chris Robinson:Do you always have been an animal lover?

1:19:44Theo Von:I like, yes. Yeah, we have a cool cat too. Yes, I love pets. I love having pets. But I didn't have like rabbits and, you know, guinea pigs. Horses you ever ride? No. I love horses. I don't ride, but I love them. Yeah. My wife's a horse girl.

1:20:05Chris Robinson:I'm not good on them.

1:20:08Theo Von:I've done it. I mean, it's fun. I liked it. I would be, I wish I'd grown up. We didn't do shit in my house. That's why I was busy watching all these weird movies and getting weird and listening to records. You know what I mean? I did play Little League football, and I did martial arts when we were kids, and played basketball. You know what I mean? I did shit like that. And when I was a kid, you know what? I liked to fish when I was a kid. Oh, fishing's fun, huh? I haven't done it in like 40, 50 years. I don't know. Really? You haven't done it that long? No. Who took you fishing? My racist Uncle Bruce.

1:20:42Theo Von:Yeah. Yeah. Because my dad didn't really give a fuck about fishing. yeah sometimes I didn't know he was like that then but I liked it because we would go down to Florida and do saltwater fishing and then being in Georgia we would do bass fishing and stuff it was fun when I was a kid but I haven't done shit like that forever too busy reading Jean Cocteau yeah

1:21:07Chris Robinson:one more question about music and then I want to hear a little bit more about your new album and the new album is called A Pound of Feathers

1:21:15Theo Von:the band And made a record called A Pound of Feathers. The band in this case was just me and Rich and our drummer, Cully. In this record, we went in the studio without any songs. You know, we just had some ideas and riffs, and we wanted to do it that way. We wanted to do something that was more spontaneous and on the fly, really, and see where that took us. so we ended up my joke with friends was we could have done it in five days if we had written any songs but it took eight or nine days or whatever. For the whole album? Yeah. It was beautiful you know what I mean? We were on a roll we I mean Rich has parts and I will go and have like five or six notebooks full of ideas but that doesn't mean anything either because a lot of times I'll just pull things out of the sky or whatever no matter what the world changes you know we're talking about buying snow tires and blow jobs for program directors at rock radio stations or whatever

1:22:22Chris Robinson:the good old days Reaganomics

1:22:24Theo Von:yeah when you could sell some fucking records too yeah dude that was fucking Reaganomics for us it's always like that was just a part of like the the the business that was adjacent to what we loved and wanted to do playing in a band. And it's funny because all these years later, we realized that making records, we're not going to sell moon records. We're not going to sell any records. But this is what it is. But for us to get in there and to feel that way and to realize like, look, man, when we got started, we didn't know shit except we knew what was authentic and real in our hearts and what music meant to us.

1:23:10Theo Von:And if we're going to join, you know, when our first record came out, I'm like, dude, we're in, look, you go in a record store and there's Black Crow's records, but there's John Coltrane records. You know what I mean? Brian Adams, Leonard Cohen. Yeah, right. And other Canadians as well. But, or whoever, you know, the multitude of things that we loved and the time, you know, how important record stores were, that we're a part of something meant something to us. It still does. And that we can still have a vibrancy about what it is we want to do and say. That we can have those moments where I'm sitting there and we're writing these songs and it works.

1:23:54Theo Von:And I don't care if it works, again, in another construct. It works for me and my brother because this is, we started writing some songs at mom and dad's and here we are. Yeah. And now our songs are in people's lives and that kind of thing. But that it's still fucking energy that I like, that I can look around and the fucking darkened time that we're in and muster the vibes to make something and feel this is what I want to say. My poetry doesn't have to have any message other than it's humanity, other than, you know what I mean? Yeah. The connection I want through the things that I've done, the things that I am, the things that I dream up, my imagination, you know what I mean?

1:24:41Theo Von:I always laugh because, have you ever seen Barton Fink, the movie Barton Fink, the Coen Brothers movie?

1:24:49Chris Robinson:No, actually, I think I tried to watch it. Let me see a picture of it.

1:24:52Theo Von:John Turturro plays this guy who goes to LA. It's a movie about writer's block.

1:24:58Chris Robinson:It looks just like Eraserhead.

1:25:00Theo Von:Yeah, yeah, totally, totally. But there's a scene in the movie with a writer. He befriends another writer who's a Southern guy. And he's kind of, I guess, based on like William Faulkner or something. He was in California. I don't know. But he has this real, Barton Fink's really passionate. You write for the common man. And how do you, you know, where do the words come from that you can communicate like that? And he's drunk, the other writer. And he's from the South. And he goes, well, Barton, I like to make things up. And I was like, that's it. You know what I mean? It kind of is what it is. And it's the same things.

1:25:43Theo Von:I don't have a toolbox at home, but I like to write and I like to, you know, I like to dream. And this is a dreamer's paradise. I've made my own reality out of my limitations as a fully functional person because of the way my mind works and it helps if you sing good, whatever and you like to get on stage and keep people interested there's a bit of the old, it's like Bob Dylan says I'm a song and dance man, so I'm that as well

1:26:19Chris Robinson:Yeah, it's a, dude, the other night a girl was talking about our music for so long that she got up and sang for me and it was some of the worst stuff I ever heard. And I'd like for 70 % of our time together, I was there with her and then it fell apart in that last 30%. So I think the sharing it, the how you share it is right. But I do think it's interesting. Like it is a dreamer's paradise. And one thing that you don't want to lose, like no matter how like bleak times seem or how dark certain things are that are going on is that we have to stay creative, right? Like we, like as much as it hurts or as it's tough or it's like, it's not, it's not easy to sit and do to think of like, oh, I can be creative right now.

1:26:59Chris Robinson:I think if we lose that, then that's, then, then that's going to be really bad, you know?

1:27:04Theo Von:Agreed. Agreed. I mean, and that's, again, I think the inspiration of, of all of these things we are seeing have all been played out before. We've seen it. And, and, and the reality of that is, is we've see who, you know, we'll see this come to some sort of look, like I said, who knows between then and there, but I refuse to, I refuse to allow defeatism to rule my life. I refuse to let the fear and ignorance of the whole thing dictate my my every fucking thing yeah you know what i mean because i i don't know because i think you had like you said you have to and i and i'm and we can get

1:27:58Chris Robinson:addicted to the new you get addicted to that stuff and then it takes over your time it takes you your life yeah and it takes your flame down and it takes your and you're like what am i doing

1:28:06Theo Von:here you know it might be i mean it's not even escapism to me because i need to when we were talking earlier about how I have to keep my head or I have to devote myself to whatever the thing is. It's the muse that keeps my creative energy where I want it to be and what it means. Um, in this, in the exact same respect, if these things, these things cycle through people, Yeah, it's proven again you can't stop. You know what I mean? And I don't know. I feel like you can't, again, I don't want to put my head in the sand because that doesn't help. But I do realize. That we're on the beach. Oh, yeah.

1:28:57Theo Von:Well, I do realize, too, that there's a lot of footprints on the beach. You know what I mean? People have been coming to this beach for a long time. We just kind of have to remember that as well. That's a good point. I mean, you know, people romanticize and they, in any time in history, tyrants and people, kings who have become deranged and, you know, the abuse of power and ego and all these things. And you can see what happens. you know what I mean you see you know what I mean it goes for a while but then it's over because humans don't play that you know

1:29:41Chris Robinson:if there's like a song that we use when we ride in a battle say this has to happen right and we won't put you on a horse or me I'll be in the back I'll be the medic I mean catering would be better for me I don't know

1:29:54Theo Von:can I still get a medal you know what I mean at least you know

1:29:58Chris Robinson:the catering will be like very enjoyable

1:29:59Theo Von:yeah you know what I mean They're like, sorry, El Comandante. That's the wrong white wine with the Branzino.

1:30:10Chris Robinson:What song do we listen to when we ride in a battle, do you think? Maybe it doesn't be like the perfect song, but what's a good one?

1:30:19Theo Von:Well, it's definitely not Onward Christian Soldiers. That doesn't have a good beat. I can't dance to it. I don't know. Would it be? It's a long way to the top If you want to rock and roll By ACDC That might be a good one Like Yeah

1:30:34Chris Robinson:Play that real quick I want to make sure That I'm on the right one Of that You had it I did? Okay Yeah yeah God dude So many things Immediately I'm back In my bedroom dude Watching my brother dance

1:30:51Theo Von:Fucking good sounding guitars

1:30:57Chris Robinson:Hell yeah That's good, man. Thank you so much. What about your new tour? Can you tell us? Obviously, it's tougher touring now. Is there anything that's super different about it? There it is.

1:31:08Theo Von:Oh, Whiskey Myers. That's right.

1:31:10Chris Robinson:I saw you guys at Ascend, I think, like two years ago. And then I saw you in New Orleans, like, I think it might have been the 90s probably. Or no, maybe 2000s.

1:31:20Theo Von:Many times. This tour is going to be super fun. You know what I mean? they're a little bit country and we're a little bit rock and roll and we're a little bit country. They're a little bit rock and roll too. Got to work on that chorus, Donnie and Marie. What the fuck? Um, yeah, I mean, touring, you know, I still love it. I still think there's a lot of adventure to have. And it's same kind of some of the things we were talking about. There will be someone I never met. They will be saying, you know, we have a good time. It should be fun. You know, touring's fun. Me play. It's called playing music.

1:31:55Theo Von:It's fun.

1:32:00Theo Von:It's hard sometimes when you get older and the crowd is, you know, people's phones put up sometimes a wall between what we want to put out and what we want y 'all to pick up. Oh, that's a good statement. You know, because now it used to be like this and now, you know, what? Oh, yeah. Or, you know, instead of really feeling the music and hearing the music and seeing where that could take you. That being said, I don't police anybody. You know what I mean? Like, y 'all do what you want to do. I'm so happy that you bought a ticket. No matter how you get there, what you do when you get there, that's up to you.

1:32:46Theo Von:I'm just saying that as a guy who's spent this fucking lot of time on stage, you know. And I'm the type of performer who I need it. You know what I mean? Yeah. I need something back. It feels good. That's when stuff ceases to, it just flows all together. And those are the shows and the moments that aren't hard. You know what I mean? Yes. And those are the ones where just like, oh, this is beautiful. This is everything. And we have that more than we don't.

1:33:22Chris Robinson:Yeah. But I know what you're saying. Even I noticed that even when I've done that and I noticed how it feels, I went to see Aerosmith on there when they were playing Las Vegas, when they had the, this is like maybe three, four years ago. Yeah.

1:33:34Theo Von:Yeah. Their residency there. Yeah.

1:33:35Chris Robinson:And there was one time when, when Steven Tyler came right over by me and I was like trying to get my, and I like, like miss this moment. I still just feel bad. I still think about, man, what was I doing? You know, like, what was I doing? so instead of just you should have let

1:33:51Theo Von:the quick silver that is Steven like envelop you as he went by oh I still

1:33:57Chris Robinson:yeah the best dude Chris Robinson thanks so much man I appreciate it thank you man I appreciate your time thanks for all the music thanks for all the excitement over the years yeah just the time to get to come see you me and my brother still talk about the Crows so we still listen to it together so thank you so much man

1:34:13Theo Von:thank you man yep tell your brother I said hey

1:34:16Chris Robinson:I will dude

1:34:17Theo Von:does he have big muscles no no But he's a smart guy.

1:34:21Chris Robinson:And he's kind of like your brother, I think. He's probably the sweet, I think he's like the sweeter one of us. Or he's a sweet guy. But just like, he's a nice guy. So tell Rich I said hello.

1:34:32Theo Von:I will, of course. He'll love it.

1:34:33Chris Robinson:Thank you, brother.

1:34:34Theo Von:Cheers. Now I'm just floating on the breeze And I feel I'm falling like these leaves I must be cornerstone Oh, but when I reach that ground I'll share this peace of mind I found. I can feel it in my bones. But it's gonna take...

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