#652 - Matt McCusker

25:04Yeah. Bro, they have about 2 billion lawsuits coming about the same. Like, that's... It says it right here. The case is the first of thousands targeting big tech over addiction to reach trial of bellwether to assess how other claims could be resolved. Well, this is apparently, from what I heard, like, long ago, is a lot of these social media companies had people who designed slot machines consult with them to, like, how to make their basically interface as addictive as possible. You know when you, like, pull down and refresh and, like, your phone kind of, like, shakes a little bit? There's that little noise?

25:36That's, like, slot machine technology somehow. Like, it's designed to, like, you get a little dopamine burst when it goes, like, bump, and you're like, ooh, yeah, new stuff. And it's, like, apparently it's set up like that where it's, like, it's purposely designed to be maximally addictive. And they did that on purpose. Shit. Yeah, and it's, like, cigarettes. They're like, ah, this is bad for you. You know, now they're going to have to pay out. They already have billions and billions. of dollars or have to just fork some of the billions. Yeah. It's worth it to them to continue to do it. But dude, remember the old school dopamine burst?

26:07You'd see a bald eagle fly by. That was the dopamine burst. Yeah, I remember those days. Or even if it wasn't and somebody just said it was. True. You couldn't fucking see when you were a kid. You're just staring up into the sky and it's fucking pointing. Dude, I do remember being younger before the internet and just like it's like summer and I would just be like sitting outside and it's like I would just be able to kind of like stare off for a while and just like be like this is nice and i it's like i have a real i can't even like take a shit now if i don't have my phone i'm like i need to need to be scrolling yeah when was the last time that we've daydreamed you know i know it's tough you really do i have to like on a plane i can try to like force myself but then the whole time i'm like i can't believe i'm not on my phone i'm so cool right now i don't even daydream i just like pat myself on the back for not looking at my phone yeah and then i go you know what i'm gonna look at my phone everyone's looking at their phone dude or if you go to a rest it used to be this is the craziest thing To think that someone could be in a restaurant by themselves, like 40 years ago, you could do that.

27:04You could be in a restaurant by yourself, sitting at a table, and you wouldn't look insane. That's true. Now, without a phone, now, if you see someone in a restaurant by themselves, just sitting there, waiting for some people who are probably doing coke to bring them their food, dude, there's fucking no dude I do this when I go out when I like I'm in a different city I'll go out to dinner by myself and I'll pride myself and I'll sit there and just like waiting for some congratulations it never comes I just stare straight like you literally don't know what to do with yourself because it is that problem you're like I can't stare straight ahead I'll try to look like kind of almost like I'm dreamily like yeah and it's just nothing there or I'll rearrange the software again do that shit play the shell game with like a fork knife napkin, fork knife napkin.

27:57Go to the bathroom really slow. Oh, look at that. Chick-fil-A is offering free ice cream to families who agree to put their phones away during their meal. Bro. As part of an effort to encourage more face-to-face time and less screen use at the table. What are the exact rules with that? Who's enforcing? And dude, imagine if you cost your family the Chick-fil-A family meal just from one glance. that's tough you were getting serious trouble you glanced out of your phone just to see the bears didn't get it done again you fucking cough just a retarded guy blows a whistle at you yeah they should have a dude Chuck Filet is his name that's a black dude in there he's a straight chicken cop in there that would be a good job boom got you fork$38 let's go Chuck Filet Chuck Foles strikes again, dude.

28:52Yeah, that's shit, man. That's nice. Chick-fil-A, it's, you know. I like that. I do, too. I like that. If they're not on their phone, let me see. The promotion is only offered at select Chick-fil-A locations by individual operators, not a company-wide program. Wow, 2016. It originated in 2016 from a Georgia operator and has been revived locally at various times. I like that, though. I do, too. Yeah, dude. It was just like, or just driving and thinking about shit. Yeah. I know. Dude, your mind had so much time to like, I think that's one reason we're more creative because our mind was able to just fucking create.

29:28It was able to like, the RAM wasn't always, you know, your computer sends you that thing. It's like your RAM is almost done. You don't even know what your RAM is. You're like, fuck, I better empty the RAM track. Clean this out. I need to defragment. I still don't know what that is. Yeah, no, dude, it's that's really, it's like, you know, cause you have sleep, your brain gets to rest, but that like downtime, your brain does do stuff. Like it like kind of organizes things when you just kind of chill out. Cause that's, I like when you, so when you're on your phone, you know, when you read something on your phone, you're like, you don't remember any of it.

29:57Cause as you're reading your, when you're on your phone, every button and thing you're moving is like, it's a problem solving part of your brain. So like you're, you're trying to like, you know, you want your memory to be active. So you're like, you know, reading like information's coming. You have so much coming at you. Like you're the part of your memory that can store information along to the short term is like a tiny little bucket in your brain. So it only fits so much when you're like hitting buttons and going up and down this and that, it's just gets just, it's like splashing a ton of water in a tiny bucket.

30:25Just everything spills out. I never remember anything. I researched stuff on my phone all the time. And then I go like, I'll be like, like how many carbs do you need to be in keto? I'll read a whole article on it. And like a day later, I'll be like going to tell someone about it. And I'm like, I don't know. You need like only a little. I can never retain anything. Well, dude, if somebody wants to tell me something these days, I'm like, dude, I can look at information and we all have it now. Like somebody used to have the information. Like you had to go down the street. You had to get molested by a guy.

30:57Yeah. Okay. Just to figure out how to like, you know, grow bougainvilleas in your backyard. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. No, it's true. Now I can just take a picture of a plant. It's like, this is a plant you're growing. I do it all the time. And I'll be like, is this good? When can I harvest this? Blah, blah, blah. Yeah, it's actually, I do kind of like that. But you'll just take a picture and you'll do what? Put it in like perplexity or something? Yeah, like Grok and be like, when can I pull this garlic? But it's not surefire. And Grok's like, have you eaten pussy today? And it just shows you some fucking poker.

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34:05Like people like it's going to end the world. It's like I don't worry. I don't think it is, honestly. And the thing is like if it does, what are you really going to do? A lot of people are doing this like I'm just not using it because it's like I just feel like it's such a weird – it's like it's a computer. Like it's not – you can destroy a computer easily. You say, wait, but it will like self-build itself so you can't. It's like, dude, that's, you're just, it's just nerds freaking out. It's not, I don't think it's a real threat whatsoever. You know, I started to think it's definitely could be like the, uh, Y2K thing.

34:36Remember that? Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I remember everybody was like forcing their like cousins to admit they were or whatever, because God wasn't going to want them after midnight or any, like all that shit, you know, or it was like, don't say you're a fat before midnight or whatever. Yeah. Or God won't let you in or whatever. There was like all that kind of like those email chains or send this to 10 people that aren't fat. You get those type of email chains. Like, what is this shit, dude? Yeah. Because they were trying to catch fat, whatever. I think Bush senior was doing that. But anyway, that was crazy, bro.

35:10Everybody thought Y2K was going to end it. And then people thought the dot com boom. People bought like, remember a guy bought like shoes.com and then he sold it for like$270 million. And we were all buying different dot coms. People were making up crazy dot-com names. I tried to get a couple. Did you? Yeah, I didn't get anything good, honestly. I don't even remember. I think I sold them off right away. They're probably just dead. They expire, too, if you don't keep refreshing them. Yeah. I didn't get anything good. I watched a soft white underbelly. This has been cracking me up for like a month.

35:41There was a guy who was similar to that lawsuit. He was going on being like, I had too much internet at a young age, and it had a bad effect on me. He was going out and compulsively doing gay acts, but he was like, I'm not gay. I just got like, you know, it was the internet. And the thing that got him into it was gay.com, which just made me laugh so hard. Just as a young kid, just hitting gay.com. Your whole life just over. Everything changes from gay.com. Hey, bud. Getting caught in fifth grade on gay.com, I would have been done, dude. Two older brothers catching gay.com, I would have been fried, dude.

36:14Oh, that would have been crazy, huh? Are you going up to your room? Are you going to get on gay.com? Gay.com, that's a billion dollar. hashtag, not hashtag, hyperlink, whatever people got. Gay.com. Gay.com's so good. That's still worth money. For sure. Gay.com. Just send it to your buddy. Dude. Hilarious. You can change the hyperlink. There's a way you can do that. Oh, man. Dude. Buffhomos.com was one of my favorite ones. Ari Mann is his comedian, and he started a website called Buffhomos.com. Did he really? Yeah. See if it's still active or not. I bet he pays. buffhomos.com is great. What's he doing with it?

36:54He didn't want to... Oh, it just goes to his website. Which I think he should change that. But maybe not, actually. All he'd have to do is... If he put, like, one good buff gay guy... Well, he was doing it, and his fucking management told him not to do it. He couldn't curate buff homos? Yeah, they're like, you know, it's just kind of like... That's why nobody should have a fucking manager. Yeah, that's a billion-dollar idea. Yeah. That's crazy. If you're not a fucking pussy. So his managers had to sit him down and be like, about buffhomos.com. Yeah. But then they told him to make that his landing page, basically.

37:34Yeah. A non-Buff Homo on there. And I love Ari. Ari is open for me a bunch over the years. He's a great comedian, and he's a great dude. Clearly business genius, too. Buffhomos.com is so good. Bro, and he would send me the pictures of Buff Homos and stuff, and it was like he would get his friends that owed him favors. He would give them stage time if they modeled for it. So that was the best part. So you had guys like Steve Fury, just different comedians who were kind of door guys at the store who were also growing good comedians, like Craig Connett. And he would have them just modeling fucking regular dudes.

38:10But when you put them under the banner of Buff Homos, it's crazy. You put a banner over something, you see a picture of a regular dude with his shirt off, you're like, okay, maybe that guy's trying to get in the military or whatever. And then they write Buff homos above it. You're like, oh, this changes everything. I mean, okay, so his manager was probably worried about the fallout of being like, is it true that you tricked young comics into stage time for modeling for Buff homos? First of all, I think some of them knew what was going on. True, for sure. They're all buddies. But yeah, that's a good lose a bet kind of thing.

38:44like you lose the bet playing poker for like buff homos of the week. I had a website called total creeper.com for a while. Did you really? Yeah. This was a long time ago and I would just find total fucking creepers and just take pictures of me. I did those early websites on the internet. There was mullet.com. That was great. Yeah. Mullet.com was good. Uh, there was camel toe.org. People just snap camel toe shots and like grocery store. That one was that. Yeah. That one was a little, that's a little bit of an invasion of privacy obviously but i remember as a young man being pumped okay yeah what was a good one oh there was like that uh is there a way to look at total is there a way to find that in the like analogs of anything guys yeah web archive might have it no no this wasn't my shit that's tumblr that's a uk female yeah that's tumblr do you remember tumblr that shit was tumblr was crazy dude i never got into it personally but i i knew a girl who like was her big thing was curating a tumblr of just like lightly pornographic content it was just like a sex tumblr it was crazy oh dude there was like one like girls in panties getting out of cars or whatever fuck dude something about it dude but in panties not like thong not trashy fucking you know no dude we we're we're rare that we can still we're jpeg heads we're one of the last to have beaten it to a still image.

40:08You know what I mean? Not a lot of people can say that. Yeah, you're right. I remember the fucking, I used to come home from church on Sundays and grab the newspaper, pop out the Kohl's catalog, straight to the underwear section, lock the door in the bathroom. God. 45-minute sesh. Dude, I used to rub some of the, like I would rub like a thing. This is fucking crazy. I should never say this how often. Because I'll never have a wife after this. but I would rub like a picture of like if they had a model, like a underwear model, I'd rub it under my arms. Cause some of us would kind of smell like a little bit like that.

40:41Jerk off too. You would stank it up. Yeah. I'll just kind of stank it up. Yeah. Yeah. I don't think my mom, my mom, that's actually really good. I don't think my mom. You think it's a good idea? To stank it up? Yeah. Yeah. I never even thought about that. Thanks man. I felt ashamed of it. The snake, I think that's actually pretty cool. Now, the problem is you're crossing wires because you're going to catch, like, you're going to be out working out one day, catch some of your own funk and be like, God damn. I better come under there. Start fucking eating out your armpit. Oh, that's insane, dude.

41:16Sorry, that's the line. No worries. I had a buddy that did that, that we'd catch him doing it at night at sleepovers. Really? Because he had, like, hair under his arm and he would kind of get his tongue around the corner of his pectoral. Ah, that's fucking weird. and get him a little nibble. Just fucking... Get you a little nibble, Danny. That's pretty impressive. You nibbling your arm, pussy? Huh, Ricky? Okay, this was... Yeah, are there any still on here? Total Creepers, sick. But yeah, people were supporting... People were sending this shit in. This was good shit. Sending the Creepers in is awesome.

41:48My great-aunt died, and their two zombie jokers showed up to the burial and said they were friends of hers, but no one knew these two. What you think? But that's... Total Creepers, that's a really good one. It was good, dude. damn 2011 lamp man this guy and i were at the same full service car wash he was yelling into his phone about a mortgage what do you think

42:13yeah i miss the imagination bro yeah i miss like seeing a girl smile at you like on a friday at school or give you some sign of like maybe she even just like asked you to go throw some trash her way forward that would have been awesome i would have loved to do that totally and then you're thinking all week and you're like fuck she's thinking about me yep i'm gonna start working out you start making like like we would like chisel like weights out of like wood and shit and try to like get pumped yeah and we didn't know that it had to weigh a real amount we were like oh it just has to look like weights and uh just dumb shit but then monday you'd be like oh she fucking hates me again but there was just that couple day period where there was no phone to see that she was having a blast or that she was like, her family was rich or whatever, had a boat or whatever.

43:00You just laid it home in your fucking poor bed. Yep. Thinking. Just imagine her. Yeah, it was actually, I genuinely, I know people say this all the time, but I do feel bad for like younger kids. Have you gotten into like the clavicular stuff? I see this guy. Like book maxing and all that stuff. So he did an interview with Andrew Callahan recently I watched. And I've watched a lot of his stuff, but there's like this world of guys that are like, you know looks maxing is like you the your only hope in life is to become as attractive as possible but now they're doing these things where like they're injecting a bunch of peptides these are like young like you know early 20s go on trt you're hitting the peptides and you know the thing that gets like sensationalized is like you kind of tap your jawbone with a hammer because like it's called like bone hammering or whatever so you like kind of do micro fractures dude it's crazy and he i watched the interview he said like oh man like that's really nothing but that's all like what you have bone smashing is a dangerous non-scientific social media trend primarily popular on tiktok and within looks maxing subcultures that involves intentionally inflicting blunt force trauma on facial bones to alter their structure proponents falsely claim that repeatedly breaking or bruising bones with hammers bottles or hard objects will cause them to heal in a more chiseled or masculine shape if that's the case everybody in stockton would be fucking beautiful yeah true yeah true everyone's been fucking hit in the face everybody's been fucking hit by bottles and shit.

44:20Yeah. Well, the thing is, it's like, you know, a lot of it's just internet stuff, but there is the underlying philosophy where it's like, you know, the dye has been cast for you. And if you're not like, you know, super attractive or like as a, you know, it's like guys are kind of becoming girls now where it's like, I just got to be prettier. And it's like, there's a, it's called the bone structure hierarchy where like the way your bone structure is that kind of determines your whole fate as a person. And if you don't ascend, you'll become this like it's just like sad and very bleak and like this like uh i don't know there's like really nihilistic thing where it's just like dude you can just be a dude you don't have to be like i need to ascend i need to ascend so i can mog and blah blah just i feel bad i mean i think a lot of kids at least joke about it but i was watching an interview and i'm like man this is like a really sad way to live being like my but my my subordial is not maximal but it's like dude you're a guy who cares just and what is mogging that's not yeah mogging is like so you can be you can be height mogged you can be frame mogged if you're like someone's bigger than you and you stand if they take a picture with you and they're looking bigger you've been mogged okay if they're taller than you you've been height mogged you know there's and there's like you can go any dimension of like whatever you have so cock somebody could be cock mogging you somebody could be or that's the worst moggy if you get cock mogged dude that's fucking tough yeah i'd be hitting mine with a hammer look at the fucking jaw bones on this little cock like damn that thing is small you're like yeah but look at that fucking smile on it which is brutal because i know girls do that they take pictures together and there's a lot of like very hyper uh specific comparison where they're like look at my knees and her it's like this is now like younger guys i think are starting to do that to some degree becoming very aware and conscious of like he's taller than me in that photo.

46:02It's like, you're fine. I don't know. That kind of freaks me out. We can't have both people doing that. There's no, there's not a, he got frame-mogged. That was, he took a picture, that's clavicular, and he got frame-mogged because the guy stood next to him was bigger, and it was just, that's like, now you descend. You were ascending, and now he descended a little bit. Damn. It's, and this clavicular, I mean, that guy also looks like, he looks like a fucking GNC store. So the other guys, so that's the ASU frat guy. The guy in the black is clavicular. Yes. Yeah, so that guy, yeah, that's just, it looks unnatural, I guess, is what I'm trying to say.

46:44Yeah, dude. Well, first of all, the guy on the right looks fucking insane, dude. He honestly looks like a fucking good, like kind of a trill lesbian. No cap, bro. No cap, dog. BLM, dog. You know what I'm saying? You're wearing a fucking like bra shirt or whatever. What are you fucking doing? And also So, you know, we started all that was Larjamelo Ball, dude. It was fucking whatever. That dude wearing that bra or whatever. Remember when he was shooting that fucking fade away or whatever? Was he wearing a bra? Yeah. Him and SGA were like just gooning around after. Oh. I think I did. What the fuck was that?

47:24I don't know. When I was growing up, mixed dudes wasn't fucking. Mixed dudes had enough. That's what you're talking about. What the fuck is that about? No, that's not it. That's crazy. Yeah. I'm saying that's crazy. That's wild. You don't, when do you need just that much of a shirt? Yeah, you don't need it at all. Yeah, like you hit a gross spurt or whatever, dude. Well, dude, the sad thing about like the, you see that guy, that's like a very bizarre frame with all like the peptides and like filters and all this stuff. That's what's garnering all the attention. Like, especially for women, like your lips have to look all, people are becoming literally artificial beings.

48:00and it's like dude it sounds like a really complicated thing I think about this all the time there's this thing called supernormal stimuli which is like it's not as crazy as it sounds so say they did these studies where they had these butterflies and like the male butterflies they saw a female that was a shade of purple the more purple the butterfly was that was the more attractive they were and the butterflies would go mate with those butterflies the scientists made a shade of purple that wasn't able to be produced by the natural butterflies that was like such a deep purple, the butterflies would just lay on this piece of cloth and just die.

48:35And I feel like that is happening to people in some regard where people are like, especially women are making themselves into these like artificial things and now guys are matching and it's just, I don't know, freaks me out. It's like they're chasing an aesthetic that's not natural and it's not attainable and they're using all these like scientific methods. A lot of women, if women have those lip injections, dude, I'm out. Yep. If women put on too much lip, Like if it's a little bit, I can get, right? But if it's just fucking dumb, dude, like your lips look like they've been eating or whatever.

49:06Yeah, dude. No, I'm telling you. That and there's also a fine line of plastic surgery where it almost all ends in the same exact look. There's like a fully constructed face that you're like, oh, it's just like plastic surgery face. I just feel bad because, you know, you're obviously insecure. Everybody is. And then you do all this work and you're like, oh, my nose looks better. This looks better. And then it's like I have this like look that I look like I'm a clone or something. Yeah, dude, it's just too much. Yeah. And then also, if a girl puts on so much lip gloss, bro, I'm like, it's almost like you're saying.

49:37It's like too much of the purple color. It's too juicy. Yes. No one's lips are this juicy. Right. I just feel bad because I've seen this for sure. That one is. Look what he's wearing. That's a rough look. He's wearing a fucking jersey bra. He's wearing a jersey bra. Look at this. Yeah, that's... I mean, what is going on? I don't know. I don't know. Having a good time. Yeah, that's a good point, man. No, but that's... Yeah, I saw that. That's one of those videos you're like, dang, did I really look like that during that? He's still smiling. That was like a... No, and the guy's a boss, dude, too.

50:13And honestly, if any of these guys ended up being gay fellas or whatever... Yeah. ...and being one of the best to ever do it, good for them. Exactly. Gives a shit. Gay Jordan? Gay Jordan would be nice. just that light, that slightly lighter lift off the, that would actually be kind of sick to watch. Flying, floating. It's floating. Floating through the air. Ooh. I just, I feel bad for like, you know, because you have, they get like preyed upon because you're on social media and it's just nothing but before and afters, before and afters, before and afters, and you just go after that and you get like, you can get like permanently disfigured.

50:47And it's just, you know. Yeah. I don't know. Something strikes me as like evil to do that. Well, there's a lot of stuff now too where it's like, you know, the peptide, like all that stuff. A lot of it, there's not a ton of research done on it. We just started fucking hearing about it. Yeah. And everybody started using it. I know. And there was, dude, I remember I was with a girl one night in her car and I was trying to make out or something. I don't remember, but we were sitting in there talking and she's like, yeah, I got to leave in like two hours to go down to Tijuana to get some, uh, Oh, Zempic.

51:17It's just cheaper down there. Really? Yeah. Dude, they busted a woman outside of a vineyard bond selling illegal. bro. Yeah. Yeah, that's because you start going to the doctor and then they, you know, they all start talking to each other and they get one of them gets it off the Internet. Yeah, there's dude. So many of them are doing it, taking the jab. And it is because you do get it like you go to a doctor, but it's like it's kind of expensive. And all it takes is one of them being like, I got this website. I'll get it. I'll inject you. And then it's like, does this person know what they're doing?

51:42Where did they really get that? What is this stuff? And it's I'm so freaked out about putting anything into my body. I like can't do it. I'll take like a new vitamin and I'm like, I feel kind of weird today. That's me. I'm being a bitch, but it's like, I really am like, but that's Irishness. I think as well. I think so. You guys operate best on beer and stuff like that. I think so. Basic whiskey beer. Complete basics. Yeah. Adding to me, I've, I took the one, it was like a pill form that just take it for your stomach. And I think it helped. I didn't really notice much, but the needles, man, I'm like, I get just too scared.

52:14I have one in my fridge. I can't do it. I'm like, I'm like, yeah, I'm going to do it. It's supposed to help you like sleep and burn fat. And I like look at it. I go, nah, I'm not doing that. It just sits there. I'm scared of the needle. I won't do it. Yeah, dude, yeah. Save that bitch in case things get crazy. Shoot it into one of your fucking plants. True. Dude, if you started peptiding your fucking plants, dude, next thing you know, you have like 11 blackberries in your yard, dude. That would be nice. But, yeah, we can each have, my whole family can each have like three apiece. That would be awesome.

52:44How good are radishes, though? You mentioned radishes earlier. Radishes, man, they grow so easy. And they're like, they're good. They can get a little spicy here and there. but like those ones are, they were rewarding. Cause like that, this is the thing too. Like I tried to grow on carrots, dude, the carrot greens, this big, I pull the carrot out. I'm not lying. It was this fucking big. So that kind of hurts. You wait three months. Then you just got to take it out and throw it on the ground and just let it kind of decompose. Radishes just rip, man. You can grow radishes anywhere. Those bold, those under, those like, uh, potatoes, radish, I think those things grow pretty easy.

53:15Yeah. Those tubers or whatever they're called. I think the potatoes are tuber, radish, I don't know what the hell, like root vegetables, I guess. Yeah. Root vegetables. They grow pretty good, man. My grandma used to have them all in her cellar back in the day. They'd have a lot of senior citizens would have them in their cellars and stuff like that. They'd keep a lot of root vegetables in there. I love radishes, though. They've kind of disappeared for a while. You would see them kind of shaved up like they'd fucking been literally. Somebody had terrorized them and put them on little salads. I've seen that.

53:44Eat shredded radish. Yeah, it's kind of weird. I feel like Mexican food brought them back into my life. Because I would see them on the tacos. And at first I'd be like, what the fuck? I'm not eating. And then I started eating them. I'm like, damn, these things are pretty good, actually. You get a fucking spicy radish. So, bro, put a little bit of salt on it. Yeah, man. They're good. They're good. And there's something, I mean, just pulling it out of the ground, washing off and eating it. It's just, there's something awesome about that. You ever pull one right out and just wash it right there and eat it in the yard?

54:10I'd have to wash it first. So I usually bring it inside, but I'd like to. I feel like those, you know, I've like picked them off. I picked like berries off a bush and eating them. But the radish, I'd never pulled them out of the dirt and eat them. now. Do that. I should actually. I have left a little bit of dirt on before when washing it and I'm like, it's got to be minerals and shit in here. I don't believe eating, don't believe all the eating the dirt propaganda. You can eat dirt for sure. I wouldn't have a ton. I mean, it depends on what area. Just the dust. True. Yeah. True. True. My soil's pretty good.

54:35That's the thing too. You gotta like, you gotta like, you know, you gotta build like a whole little colony in your soil, you know, because if you just dump soil out of a bag, it's not living. How many square feet is your garden? Oh man, not a lot. It's probably like, 40 total if if that and then i have a little thing outside my fence that gets like full sun all day that's probably another like i probably have like 50 60 square feet total small do you have to water in the morning and evening or how does that i do in the summer yeah but you have to water pale use the hose i have the hose and i have i have like some sprinklers now i got to hook them up but the uh i just kind of water them though twice a day depending on depending on how hot it is if it's like super hot that's twice a day you put some mulch down to keep the roots keep the roots from getting scorched.

55:15So it's just, it's nice, man. Especially like when you just see a new little bud pop off your plant. It's just such a, I come out in the morning and I'm like, ooh, it's just a nice little treat. Yeah, and you're kind of like an orchestra conductor of nature. Yeah, it's pretty cool. You got to be patient. You got to wait. And it's like, dude, I planted garlics six months ago. I might have some like in three weeks. And it's just like, just like a thing that's like good. That's gross. You know what I mean? that's like, you know, because otherwise I've had a lot of times in life where I just have nothing to look forward to.

55:47And you're just like, whatever. And every day I'm like, well, my berries eventually two years, I have like things that are going to take like two years to grow. And I'm like, man, two years is going to be sick. I like that. It's it. I'm telling you, it's really good for you. I've been wondering if there was ever a time when you were with your family and your car broke down because I've been there and I remember my, the car was broke down and I stood off. I walked off from that thing. I said, I ain't even being with y 'all anymore. Just didn't even want to be by my family, dang it. Just out of shame.

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58:47Thank you. Well, you know what, recently I started to get up earlier and do like just really just start to take some control over my own life more. Yeah. Like and it's just helped me so much when it's helped me to like I don't know. Everything else just feels like more possible. It's like, oh, I'm caring about what I'm doing here. You know, like it hasn't been like every day has been perfect, but just like over the past month, it's gotten like let me see what I'm trying to say. like so I'll get up and I'll like do some yoga workout meditate hit an AA meeting or something and then I'm like it's like 10 a.m.

59:27and now I'm but in the rest of my day is mine right like I have work and shit to do but I just feel like like the more I'm investing in myself or things like that it's like it feels good dude it's yeah it's unbelievable because otherwise it's like what is moving your life you know you know you're just kind of being blown about I do that all the time where I'm just kind of like, you have to make your life mean something. Exactly. I think when you're a kid, you come out of this time where you're like, Oh, there's all these things that I get to get put into. And there's somebody putting you in a shit.

59:55You don't even realize that like you're all this stuff happens and you're just in, but you like, we kind of lose that as we get older. You know what I mean? I know work comes along and family comes along, but it's like, yeah, you have to always feel like, Oh, life has to make it. No, you have to make it. Yeah, dude. It's like a hundred percent true. That's actually fair. I never thought about that too because you do get thrown into school and yeah you're just like well i guess someone will throw me into a job and then you just kind of just like drift along and it's like i i'll do that for like stretches of time and then like i'll just something will happen where i'm like the what the fuck am i doing it just is a really bad feeling where i'm like what am i doing with myself and then yeah waking up and being like i'm gonna do this at this time i'm gonna work out i'm gonna do this it dude it really does make your life feel so much better it's like a man even if you get up like a half an hour early.

1:00:39Yeah. Just like, just get up and like go for a walk. Otherwise, yeah, that's, that's a feeling that I get like really free. Like that'll really like bring me to a bad place when I realize I'm just being blown about. Yeah. By the whims of whatever forces are around me. Especially as time goes on, dude, I went to your birthday party. That was fun, dude. That was fun. That was a fucking complete shock. 40th. So you had no idea. No clue. Everyone's laughing at me. Like you didn't even Google the thing. Like my wife told me she's going to take me to a, uh, an opera. And then she did it. It was actually to her credit is a pretty good move.

1:01:11She's like, we don't, we never do anything like that. We never get dressed up. And I was like, all right, it was boys in the hood, the opera. I didn't know. I didn't know what the hell it was, man. I was like, I didn't, everyone was laughing at me. Cause like, didn't you Google the opera? Wasn't even in town that weekend. I'm like, I didn't look it up. I was just showing up, man. You know, and 84 % of life's just showing up. Yeah, man. That's what, and I, I really can just be like, what? Like, I don't look into things. I realized that night, I didn't realize how little I truly like look into things and I'll just like, just be like, all right, I'll just come.

1:01:44I don't, I don't like research it. Cause I was talking to a lot of people that are like, I'd have to look at the seat chart. I have to know where I'm sitting. Yeah. That's whimsical, dude. That's like an Irish hello or whatever. I really do. Dude. Not know what the fuck is going on. No idea what's going on. And just showing up and be like, oh, this will be cool. I was like, I'll get to see an opera. I've never seen that before. And just wait until it came. and then so I'm like in my head I'm like I'm gonna be in a dark room all night I was like I'm gonna just eat a little wheat edible I'll be fine so I'm literally she was like all the tickets we got we get to go meet the opera singers like before and I'm like a meet and greet with the opera singer so I'm like sounds weird but I'm like yeah I'm down to meet them this is kind of cool I'm super gullible and then uh so I'm like kind of stoned and I just like walk into this room being like I remember the last thought I had was like I wonder what opera singers are like walk in and I saw my mother-in-law and I was like, what the hell?

1:02:33Why is she here? And then I saw someone I hadn't seen in like three years. And I truly was like, oh, I'm probably having a dream. And I was like, this is not real. And I kept looking around and like the noises kind of came back and I was like, surprise. And I was like, what the fuck? And then I got like angry. I was furious at first. I remember you telling me that. Dude, I stood there and I was like 150 people. I'm like kind of high on it. I'm like, this is, I know this is completely overwhelming. surprise and then like i'm looking around being like what the fuck she made everyone wear tuxedos and shit for this and i'm just like furious i forgot furious sorry i just felt like oh no and uh and then i just kind of like i like realized what was happening that i was like frowning at 150 people and i had to like oh hey thank you everybody and it took me like an hour and a half to like the shock to wear off i was i was fucked up but you know eventually i was like what was the anger about you thing kind of because they were telling me that and that was fascinating and your wife was great dude like she started like five months in advance she's like don't forget friday or whatever and i'm like this friday she's like no friday in five and a half months but she would remind you every month and i was like fuck and then once i said i promise i've said i promise i'll be there i was like fuck now i gotta be there but it ended up being great though it was a great night dude i got to hang out with tony there we are right now adam egott um Joe DeRosa.

1:03:56And is that your... Zach. He works at the mothership. Yeah, he was at the mothership for a while. But yeah, dude, it was a good group, though. Dude, it was fun. I got there, was just like, I couldn't even place the anger at first. I was just going like, what the fuck? And I was actually kind of looking forward to sitting in a dark room all night watching the... I was like, this will be crazy. And then it was just like, what I was angry about was like, I don't really like a lot of attention. so then I walked into just like a complete and total just being like a wash in attention and like surprise and it just like it pissed me off yeah and then I was like oh this is like a party this is nice I it was it literally took my brain a second to be like so first it wasn't even a party you know what I mean like my brain was like these are just people looking at me like why is this happening to me right now and then I was like it came in in layers and I'm like oh fuck this is my 40th surprise party because we did something two weeks before that so I was like nice I'm done so like it like took me my brain was like lagging for like seconds and then you know i just like had to walk around and be like hey thanks say thanks say thanks you know thanks maxing thanks i was thanks maxing post maxing thanks maxing dude it would be so funny because i'd be talking like a comedian and then there'd be just somebody who was randomly downstairs who was at the thing and it was a nice event man it was like an event dude it really was it was and it was like a thing with desserts and there was i think they even had like a duck or something they had great food they had, but then there would be also like just family members or somebody's like, I'm Matt's 11th cousin or whatever.

1:05:26You know? Fire department, you know, just fucking. I'm like, what is going on? Yeah, one of my cousins I know, I heard the next day kind of call her. She was like, let's get a photo right now. Oh, I don't remember some things, but it was just like, there was a lot of different things. And you would get like, yeah, kind of Irish-y looking guys and this and that and then a fucking, you know, just somebody with Down syndrome who they said was Irish or whatever. And then even just down to a big freckle in a wheelchair, you know? It's just like, there was this dissension of fucking McCuskas that had just been through it all, you know?

1:05:58Some Civil War veteran was there, like there was ghosts there. Yeah, people were taken aback, because that was only a small faction of my family, so people that I knew would be like, because you would just see various mutations of me, where you'd be like, that's gotta be one of his, people were like really laughing about that all night, being like, I can literally spot every single one of your family members. You guys all look exactly the same. Dude, that would be the best if they had done a thing, find Matt's family. Yeah, like a where's one. Yes. And you had to, like, just find, like, amongst all the people there, you had to get, like, a signature from those 10 people.

1:06:29That's kind of fun, actually. But, no, it was cool, man. I gave it up to Brittany. I was like, man. It was very sweet of her. Very nice, very impressive. It was just such a, like I said, it was like an event. It was like a massive event. And I'm always kind of like, I don't want to do anything, you know, blah, blah, blah. So it was nice. I was like, I appreciated it, but it was, it was a lot for me to take in. Yeah, it's scary. Dude, having a surprise experience is kind of scary. Especially that magnitude, man. That was like, that really like threw me upside down because I'm going like, you know, I don't like, I don't like to ask people to do anything.

1:07:00You see people wearing tuxes. I'm going, oh, fuck. So my family hates dressing up. So I'm like, fuck, they made her, they made them do that. And, you know, I was just like, but it was cool. It was awesome. And you can, you can, can you still be drafted or not? Oh, for the war? I think they just bumped. Yeah, I think the war is a unique term. Or the military. The conflict. Yeah, I think it's up to 42. So if I'm, what are the requirements? And they keep fucking making the age bigger, dude. 42, dude. There's some fucking. I got two good years with me. Bro, you could be a colonel. That'd be crazy.

1:07:41I mean, I went to college. At least I want sergeant. I'm not going in there as a grunt. Yeah. But actually, I'd kind of like to boss up as a grunt. You've got to be on time. What are some of the Army chants? You have to do some of those probably. Yeah, it's like, I don't know what I've been told. 42 is not that old or whatever. Welcome, America. Army raises enlistment age to 42. Yeah, they're pandering to me. Eases marijuana restrictions, dude. So you can have fucking... Dude, it's just going to be a bunch of fucking thick trans kids on gummies out there. here was one of the problems did you know that 70 percent of uh of young americans are unfit to serve in the military they couldn't serve in the military yeah i've heard that 70 percent yeah that's no surprise man that's that's i mean that's sad blew my mind really yeah when i was a kid i feel like i've like it felt like 70 percent could serve in the military yeah yeah for sure you had some kids in wheelchairs or something you had like some black kids that were still sucking their thumb or something even though they were like 19 and still rocking yeah yeah which is cool but they weren't saying anything but they weren't retarded so you got to pick a path but then you had like yeah one kid that would get sunburned bad he couldn't go you had that bee sting kid or whatever who was always a fucking piece of shit i'm down for them just doing like battle bots we're at the point now where yes what is ridiculous to just be like yeah we're gonna just send a bunch of 18 year olds there shoot each other so that's like it's just like i said this before it's like embarrassing like guys for real we're still doing this let's do battle bots Solve it.

1:09:11See what's up. Whoever wins gets, you know, whoever gets. Yeah, it's like pink slips. Yeah, your buzzsaw flips my wedge, and now you get to hold nukes. If I'll build a better robot, I'll get the nukes back so I can destroy the world if I have to, you know, if I want to get my way. Yeah, I agree. It's like, what are, to really be using, I don't know, dude. It's just fucking. But there's a trick where it's like, yeah, you know what, you're right. Then some guy just blows up your city, and you're like, I'm fucking blowing them up. Fuck that. Yeah, that's true. So it's like, you know, I don't think, I think it's escapable.

1:09:35A major update to Army recruiting regulations this week raises the maximum age a recruit can join to 42 and removes a barrier to joining for recruits with a single legal conviction for marijuana or drug paraphernalia possession. Nice. The Army's previous limit was 35, though exceptions are occasionally made. The higher age limit brings the Army in line with other services limit of 41 in the Navy and 42 in the Air Force. That's the weirdest of all, and again, it's, whoa, what the fuck is that? That's kind of shit. I don't know. I thought that was fucking Doug Stano for a second. on the left well the okay secret double life of Christy Noem's cross-dressing husband Brian the pouting busty bimbo photos and trove of explicit messages hmm yeah he could have that could have been a costume he was doing yeah I mean let me see it's today revealed as a secret cross-dresser who dons gigantic fake breasts and pink hot pants to chat with online fetish models ooh that's the porn hole going wrong man yeah that's when you need to shut the laptop top once you're putting once you're bimbo-fying yourself for webcam is that what happened he was bimbo-fying it looks like well his wife operated the highest echelons of government handing handling matters of national security in a recent role as dhs secretary by brian noem 56 has been dressing up and playing adult enter and paying adult entertainers to talk dirty the daily medals reviewed hundreds of messages involving three women from the bimbo-focation scene where porn performers transfer themselves into real life barbie dolls by pumping colossal amounts of saline into the breath.

1:11:02Oh, that was his boobs, basically, from saline? Yeah, so was he pumping his own tits full of that shit? God. Okay, no, he had balloons. Okay. Oh. Brian, an insurance mogul, could be seen squeezing into a flesh-colored crop top with skin-tight pink shorts. Hold on, so those tits were balloons with the nipple? Oh, the knots mimic the nipples. I mean, I'll at least shout them out on the nipple position. That was... That's pretty smart. That was kind of nice. Dang, bro. What the fuck, dude? What the fuck is going on? Bro, that's nice. For balloons, I'll get... Whoa, what the fuck? Oh, man. But he has that kind of glossy skin where he's fucking, you know what I'm saying?

1:11:46That's a horny guy. I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that that's kind of alpha. To be that horny where you have balloon boobs like a fifth grader. No, it sounds like what those fucking clavicular kids are going to be doing. putting fucking hacky sacks in their chest and shit. Yeah, man, that is a... He sent his secret roster of online acquaintances at least$25 ,000 via Cash App and PayPal, but when the payments were delayed or failed to materialize, the chats would quickly turn sour. Ooh, I bet I would have. If I paid fucking$25 ,000, look at my balloon tits, and you didn't, you delayed on me, I'd turn sour.

1:12:20Damn. Oh, dude, so they kind of like put his stuff out there. Yeah, it's a sounding that somebody whose spouse is at that level has that kind of bad judgment. Oh, whoa, hold on. Whoa, whoa, whoa, bro. I didn't know this was a thing, dude. Yeah, I guess it is, dude. Honestly, bro, all this shit makes me want to cut my own wiener off and just mail it to Africa, dude. I'm not even joking, dude. I thought about that for years. Cut my wiener off. Hand my nuts off. Yeah. If they want it or just whatever you want. You can do it. Send them both. Keep your nuts because that'll keep your tea going and stuff.

1:12:55Yeah, keep my fucking nuts. Keep your nuts. Let your nuts hang. Yeah. Chop off your unit and just keep everything up. And mail it to Africa. Feed a person or two. That'd be nice. They'd grill that bitch off in a second, dude. Munch that thing. They'd get some fucking Tennessee wiener in the mail. They would grill that bitch. Put mine on a toothpick and serve it at a party with others. But yeah. I know, dude. They'd be like, glizzy. Glizzy. Who wants a glizzy? A fresh glizzy. But that is sad, man. It's like, yeah, it's a... From the way here, the Uber driver, he's like, we need a revolution. You podcast guy.

1:13:36He was, but you ain't pumped up. Yeah, no, he's trying to get me to fucking do something. I'm like, dude, I'm fucking trying to go. I'm going to work, dude. He's probably CIA, honestly. He could have been a fucking op. He's probably Mossad. But it was just kind of crazy. He's like, we need a revolution. Because he's like, AI's going to come. It's going to be all Waymos. We won't have a job, you know? That's true, too. Yeah, that stuff's coming, man. for sure that's going to be weird I mean it is going to be a you're not scared of it though you said no not really I mean it's like I well here's the thing it's like if I felt like it was coming and it would just like destroy my livelihood I'd obviously be afraid of that I don't think it is and I feel bad if it does but I feel like maybe this is me just being hopeful it will kind of engender some like massive change where people then have to like learn how to you know like do we start just sharing stuff so everyone has what they need like what do you like literally what do you know that you know people go that's communistic it's like yeah obviously but it's like if it wipes out just like nine industries at once and you have millions and millions of people who could work that just there's no point for them to do it it's like what do you do like what do you do then and it's like are they gonna have to just like invent weird like almost like fake jobs are people gonna get paid just to kind of vibe out i don't know i'm personally kind of curious to see where it goes because it's like you're not going to fight the ai stuff everyone's like we're going to stop it It's like, no, you're not.

1:14:54If it saves big corporations money, it's coming. They're going to do that. Then it becomes like, what do you do? And I guess like, you know, yeah, it could get now that I think about it. It's like, well, yeah, maybe the billionaires will like give us some money. I'm like, well, they said, ah, fuck. You think they will? Well, that's what they've said is that people would get some sort of a stipend or some sort of a universal basic income or some sort of a token that they could use for things, which is crazy to hear. Like Altman said this sort of shit. This is a king then. So then we'd have kings, which, again, if we go back to some, like, futuristic medieval, like, serfs, lords, kings, knights, could be chill.

1:15:32I don't know. Again, I don't know. There's probably people who are like, fuck you. Could be chill, though. Could be chill, dude. You get to, like, wander. I get to just be in my garden, light fires, and just kind of, like, think about the glory of the king. Yeah. King Sam Altman. King Altman. Just cuts my fucking head off. He cuts your fucking ram down. he cuts your hard drive down to fucking 30 megabytes a month yeah no more questions about your garden i'm like sorry my lord dude and then that that thing comes through where you throw the dead people just on it like if your neighbor dies remember back in the like in the the wheelbarrow the dead card or whatever yeah yeah i i think and this is my again this is just shit he had my fucking uh ear pods in his pocket we put them on the fucking dead card this is me being hey hey Humanity.

1:16:21Check his pocket. It's a fat guy. You got to follow him on your device? Yeah. I feel like, you know, every society rises and then falls in a terrible cataclysm. That's like there hasn't been one that's made it out of it yet. So like maybe it's like with COVID. COVID was bad, but it also did kind of shake people out of that like dull, thoughtless malaise that so many people are trapped in just like a meaningless existence they kind of hate. so I'm hoping the AI shakes the cage enough where people can kind of come out of it but then we don't all just like fall into like complete chaos and start like killing each other I think there's a sweet spot so I'm hoping it kind of shakes it just a little bit if that makes sense so that's my hope but it's like yeah then it's like well maybe the billionaires will be generous I'm like eh to me it feels like they they want us poisoned enough right it's obvious there's so much that has poison in it our fucking water fluoride makes people dumb like if you have fluid in your water you're dumber yeah yeah which is crazy dude um but like they want us to be dumb enough and like not have any fucking balls or want to do and so you just are kind of like in this sort of wheel yeah and you're comfortable in the wheel and the amazing thing to me sometimes is how comfortable a lot of us are in the wheel including myself oh yeah you're like you know what i could go out there and protest sometimes or i could do this or you know but i could just sit here and watch march madness yeah you know just got some new masa chips i got some fucking good ranchers nuggets in the mail chips are nice bro i love those things they're nice if you eat too many of them though yeah it's a fucked up bellyache and and i don't eat them anymore i like i had like six bags or in a row or whatever i can't have them anymore no you eat the whole bag and you're like i just ate a pound of beef tallow.

1:18:08What's like having gym when you're a kid or whatever, you can't have it anymore. You know, but it's like that for me, it just kind of burnt out. The thing that I'm hopeful about is that like, you know, cause if it becomes like, if money becomes a weird thing where it's like, there's UBI and like, you do have these like rich billionaire overlords, like money's the thing. If you have enough of it, it kind of like, you know, pumps up your ego to where you're like, yeah, I did it. I'm the man. I've always wondered if we could somehow trick like ultra rich, like billionaire types into being like no the real flex is like putting like nine million people on like assistance and making like a cool future peaceful village and like getting them to think like yeah that would be cool if i did that you know what i mean like yeah like why wouldn't they do that you just have to make up their nerds like so like zuckerberg you'd be like dude instead of like attacking them be like dude actually zuckerberg's super jacked and super tough and cool at jujitsu and be like just like giving the nerds everyone like yeah we love you guys and maybe they'll just like, you know, use billions of dollars to terraform the earth into like a cool hobbit world.

1:19:04I don't know. Now I'm just reaching. Well, you start to wonder, is it an evil autism that's out there? Yeah, we need to give them the, yeah, exactly. I think you could be completely right. Because, yeah, to think that you'd have billions of dollars and other people don't have anything is pretty crazy. Yeah, but that's the thing though, because it's like, I think about that all the time and it's like White House turns down Elon Musk offer to pay T.S. agents during DHS shutdown. Why? That thing was like, well, yeah, we can't pay the TSA guy. I'm a single-issue voter, and it's wait times at airports currently.

1:19:36But it's like, dude, just take the TSA out of that. Because they're trying to both pass these big deals where it's like, well, we'll do the TSA, but you have to agree to this. Both are doing it. There's omnibus bills. Yeah, it's like take TSA out of it. You guys can go, okay, let's fund TSA. Okay, back to arguing about bullshit forever. It's just, dude, that shit pisses me off. Yeah. Musk, the CEO of Tesla and owner of Social Media Platform X. offer to pay the salaries on Saturday. I would like to offer to pay the salaries of TSA personnel during this funding impasse that is negatively affecting the lives of so many Americans at airports throughout the country.

1:20:09President Trump said Monday that he would love it if Musk paid the agent's salaries. I think it's great. Let him do that. The offer for Musk was also warmly received by lawmakers. But then this is, here's the problem is. No, I pay him. Right. John Fetterman said the offer was incredibly generous in his response to the post. TSA agents across the country are relying on food, pantries and community donations just to get by. DHS officials told House lawmakers Wednesday that over 480 airport screeners have quit since the beginning of the shutdown and that the agency is expected to lose$1 billion in missed paychecks by the end of this week.

1:20:43Dude, Timothy Mellon, heir of Mellon Banking, shout out Pittsburgh, donated $130 million to pay the military during the 43 day long government shutdown from October to November. But what's crazy is this could be a trap because then you're letting kind of X or Tesla become this privatized, you know, because now you're kind of privatizing airport security. Whether you realize it a little bit or not, you're saying, okay, I will let him pay these salaries. Then he comes in and says, well, how about this? Why don't I just, why don't Tesla just manage airport security? Yeah. We could probably do it so much more efficiently.

1:21:18And so that's the, like, I'm not, which I'm not saying would be bad. I'm just saying that's where things get kind of risky. A lot of times, like, offers like that, there's this kind of caveat of hopeful business on the line. Dude, I didn't know this until recently. Public transportation in Chicago and, like, I think the late 1800s, there's all private companies. So, like, you would just own, like, you know, whatever. Like, if you're in New York, but it's Chicago. Like, the L train, that was a guy who owned the L train. Everyone who paid tickets, all the money went to him. And there was another guy who owned, like, the Northside public.

1:21:49And they all, eventually, the city came and was like, guys, give me this. that was like that was like that for a while it was like incredibly competitive and corrupt and you'd have to lobby the government to like pass your thing and you'd pay people off and you just collected all the fares personally didn't even go to the city so yeah it's a that is a tricky thing though because they can you know then they can start doing their weird like credit card I mean you don't get great customer service with government agencies have you been in the post office post office is crazy dude I was there a couple days there was like this sister that was working in there.

1:22:21She's fucking fighting with a bird that's in there trying to steal like a fucking thing of tape or whatever. And I'm like, like in the little gift section area. I'm like, there's nobody else in there. Dude, the fucking wind going by is just fucking unbelievable. There's an Asian dude. He peeked up out of the back for like a second. The guy with the mustache and the fucking, the catfish looking dude. One of those package catfishes. He's just back there. He swims up to the fucking door and peeks around just to make sure he's not, nobody's looking for him and fucking goes back into the fucking hiding behind the seven-day certified mail.

1:22:55You'll never see him for a week. For like 40 more years. He's just a hide for 40 more years. Dude, it's like he saw his own shadow. It's like 11 more months of fucking being on the clock on the government's dime. Post office is crazy, dude. I used to mail all of our merch. Like in the beginning, I would mail all of our merch personally. So I started going to the post office. It was just like boxes of like 45, 50, 60 shirts already wrapped up. And like I got to know the people there pretty well. But it was like at first I would just show up. Before they knew me, they'd be like, what are you doing to us?

1:23:24And then they eventually gave me another address where I could just like drop it off at the like hub. And they would just take them like a big thing at once and just throw them in the thing. But it was funny. I used to go there and they let me like come towards the back and dump it in. Fuck yeah, it's kind of cool to see behind the scenes. It was cool. But it was just, it's very, it is like chill time. If there's a line at the post office, people are like, okay. It's like DMV mentality. You're like, yeah, whatever, man. Don't care. They don't feel lines. No, they really don't. You only feel lines on one side of the counter.

1:23:51The other side of the counter, they don't feel that line. No, it's not a restaurant where you're like, oh, fuck, people are going to leave. You're just like, yeah, fuck it. Go use fucking something else. Public transit in Chicago shifted from private to public control in the mid-20th century, centered on their creation of the Chicago Transit Authority, the CTA, in the 1940s. The Illinois General Assembly passes the Metropolitan Transit Authority Act in 1945. When the CTA took over the big private rail and streetcar systems and effectively completed for city service 19 to do with the motor coach purchase.

1:24:21Yeah. Anyway. Yeah. That's when it happened. True. I see you've been doing some history pods. Yeah, on my Patreon. I've been getting deep into like the Conquistador era, like the Spaniards going first to like Yucatan in Mexico to like, you know, when Cortez kind of took over the Aztecs. and then there's another guy who like navigated the Amazon River like later on and they like, the Pizarro's took out the Incan Empire, those stories are like insane and that's, I've like, I've talked to I talked to the author who wrote both the books I was talking about and we're both agreeing, it's like dude, that's a movie I talked to this other guy about this too where it's like the fact that there's no movie about that yet is insane because it is like, especially Cortez taking over the Aztecs it's the craziest story because everyone's like, oh yeah, he showed up and like tricked Montezuma.

1:25:13And it like, they did do that, but it was like, it was like a multi-year effort and they had like brutal battles. It was, it went on like forever and they were like inside Tenochtitlan, which was like the city of the Aztecs. Dude, that was like a brutal siege. They barely escaped, had to come back and attack it again. It was absolutely insane. Were they bad people that they were attacking or they were just people that they wanted their land or it was just like during that colonial times? It was, a little bit of everything. It was definitely during the colonial times. The Spaniards definitely just wanted gold.

1:25:41They were like, yeah, you guys have gold. We're taking the shit. Cortez wasn't even supposed to do it. He was sent by another guy, Velazquez, who was like, take this flotilla of ships. They were in Cuba, maybe, or somewhere. And they were like, he was like, I want you to scout this Mexico, whatever place, and see if they have any gold or slaves, and bring them back to me. That's crazy, dude. Dude, so Cortez is like, Like, for sure, he just took 13 ships and was like, fuck that guy. I'm going on an expedition to conquer. So he just – it was, like, completely illegal. You know, it was all, like, fucked up.

1:26:14But he just was like, I'm doing my own thing. Like a pirate, basically. Yeah, it's like when your dad's like, hey, go fill my car with gas, but you take it to go see your girl. Dude, for, like, the ultimate version. It's like if he gave you a fleet of, like, trucks and you were like, yo, let's go. And it was like – he just rolled up. there were three 300 400 guys and they just battled and just battled and like made alliance that was the thing that helped them they made so many alliances with different people that hated the aztecs and it was like you know everyone's like the spaniards you know they did some stuff that was obviously horrible but the problem was in like the aztec times it was all kind of like yucatan peninsula southern mexico up into like central and uh so you're just being a village and the aztec chiefs would be like yo it's time for taxes but their taxes were sacrifice victims so they would come down and be like give us like 30 people so you'd be living together and they'd be like yeah we're gonna fucking chop you up chop you up let's go and like they would just snag most of your babes and you'd be like fuck so then cortez comes and they're like yeah i'll help you fuck those guys up so they're all were like kind of against each other and then like the thing that really kind of like it's fucked up it would make me laugh they would befriend the natives there and the natives be like oh you guys seem cool want to see something cool that we like and they would take them to one of these like religious temples and it would just be like a dog with its head bashed in like little kids bones.

1:27:30I'd be like, yeah, we fucking chop that dog's head off. And they'd be like, what the fuck? What are you guys doing? What's wrong with you guys? So there was like, you know, and they say the Spaniards exaggerated a lot of the sacrifice. But it was like, it was definitely on the books. And like, so they got there and they were like greedily looking for gold. But then they'd be like, these guys are chopping off kids' heads and kicking them down the steps. They're like, fuck these guys. That's kind of how they were thinking. That's who you're saying. These guys need Jesus. We're going to kill them and turn them into slaves and give them Jesus and take their gold and we're doing a good thing.

1:27:59So it was like, it was kind of fucked up all around on us. And in my opinion, but like nobody knew, you know what I mean? Like they didn't think it was bad. So do you think like, it kind of goes to an overall idea of like, yeah, do you think that like a human existence is like a trial to see of like good versus evil or like, like, I wonder what it is, you know? And, and then, you know, as things start to get weirder and stuff, then you start realizing, well, most countries always live under like some severe oppression with no hope of like a lot of freedoms and with not even the ability to express themselves in some ways.

1:28:33Oh dude. Yeah, for sure. Like, yeah, you start to realize that like, I don't know. It's just, I don't know. I just, yeah, you wonder like, and then you start to think, well, how does this end? Like, does this end well? But then if that, if, if, if you had groups at that time, if you had Cortez traveling around and realizing, okay, we believe these are bad people. we need to bring them into some sort of enlightenment of understanding. Is that the right way? You know, it's just, I don't know. No, it dude, it's, it's really tricky. So they were legally also, they were legally bound. So you'd roll into a village and like, you'd hope they're peaceful.

1:29:05Otherwise you're just doing battle. I think the first 10 minutes has got to be a tough, very tough. But luckily for them, they'd roll up, dude, they'd roll up in like on a horse, which first of all, the Aztecs, they would see a per any, there's the Mayans were there as well, but they would like, they would see a dude in metal on a horse and think this was like some new type of being they never saw yeah they never saw someone riding a horse so they thought the man and the horse became like one weird creature and they were like what the fuck they would just come at you 30 miles an hour with a steel sword and it's like it was terrifying and then like cannon fire that like helped them out a lot but yeah they just thought they were like aliens they didn't know what the fuck they were they were like and then you know they like killed a couple of the spaniards and they're like, oh, we can kill these guys.

1:29:45And they, you know, munch them. So, wow. Let's munch them a little bit. But, yeah, it was, dude, history's been brutal. And it is getting, things do seem to be getting better overall. Like, that dude, that's, like, rolling into a village, you're like, I'm hungry, I want some gold. Fucking, you know, Cortez wouldn't, he would be, like, nice enough, but then as soon as people started fucking with him, he would, like, fucking burn villages down, burn people alive. It's, like, brutal stuff. Dude, that's a crazy mix. So, I'm hungry, I want some gold. Yeah, well, they would be starving. They would be walking, walking, walking.

1:30:13and be like, fuck, we don't have enough food. And you just see a village, you're like, we got to go munch these guys' shit. Dude, and, bro, you think there was hot babes back then at that time? For sure. Oh, yeah, 100%. I mean, they're – You think? Probably healthier babes. Healthy? I mean, yeah, true. I mean, but here's the thing, though. It's like it's all relative because, like, you know, you're – these guys are all, by the way, like 21, 22. So you're a 22-year-old Spanish guy in 1600s or late 1500s. there's guys probably they're on like legendary nofaps all of them they probably weren't like beating off every day to Pornhub that's a great these guys are the chamber's fully fucking cocked yeah so yeah they were probably like any they probably you know there was obviously a lot of brutal rape and stuff going on but like but yeah Cortez famously in one of the battles they like the general handed him like here's a bunch of women like blah blah blah and one of them happened to be a former princess from like one of the chieftains or chiefdoms who then got sold into sex slavery by like, you know, a warring tribe who then got given to Cortez as like, you know, a sex slave.

1:31:17But she happened to be a princess, Malinche, who like was like honestly one of the key figures who helped him translate all the languages so that he could move about. I don't know if he could have done it without her. It's pretty crazy. Wow. They became lovers, man. They were like, they were thick as thieves. And Cortez had a wife the whole time living in Cuba. So when his wife, after he finally won, he finally wins over, defeats the Aztec Empire, takes it over himself. That's great. His wife comes over to visit him. She's like, all right, this fucking guy's been gone. I don't know where the hell he is.

1:31:46He's been gone for two years. Cortez has a child with this new babe who, like, been through it all with him. Yeah. And his wife shows up, kind of gives him an earful. Dude, he choked her to death. And that was just his babe. It was pretty fucking brutal. Damn. It was pretty brutal shit, man. Dude, that's a crazy love story. It's the bizarrest love triangle. But dude if your guy conquers a bunch of shit like that you got to chill the first week or something dude You can't just be coming up. Yeah, you can't get out the car mouth at all He literally it was like a savage Conquest and it was like, you know, he's there with all of his bros and like he was also he had made this alliances with these other Like, you know indigenous factions who like when they beat the Aztecs finally They all had a party the night of and they're the you know the Spaniards was like drinking fucking around dude these like aztec dudes were like cutting off their enemy skin and like walking around in it and like you're just all party they had like a brutal fucked up like two-day party that they all woke up from and were like let's say mass right now that was kind of wild and then his wife came to visit mouth off and he just killed her damn yeah it's fucked that's a fucked up story it is sorry but it's kind of it's the story that we keep living it's just crazy like that you know you don't know who's supposed to be like the righteous ones who's supposed to win what the whole thing is who's doing things in the name of the right purpose you know you're trying to go off of some moral calculations that you feel like you have but then we're all like immoral we're all like broken people so it's like i don't know man no well that's that's the thing too like i said i try to like you know keep like at least an open mind to like all right well even with iran it's like say they do make a nuclear weapon and then they drop it on whoever it's like yeah maybe they have to stop i don't know but it's like but they're dropping it they're not they're not dropping them or they're just going to use it to get like a seat at the table i think that's what people do with nukes you make them and you're like all right can we fucking we get at the big boy table now and yeah all right fucking get in here so yeah i don't know you know what i mean i have no idea that's gotta be crazy now do you also have a sweet feeling do you also think though you can kind of see how like these fucking mega lords and tech lords and shit like um like they start to just sit around and like they all got in a room like dude we're the fucking we own the world right they have there's no way they don't do it right you're 100 right and they be like well we should obviously make sure the world stays like this that we own it let's keep everybody fucking dumb let's keep doing this shit and let's keep bossing out and drinking uh kid dick or whatever until we live forever.

1:34:26You know, like, I just feel like there's gotta be, that has to be like, and then you, because you start to wonder how could people at a certain level get to that, but they must think, well, if I'm this fortunate, this must, God must want me to, you know what I'm saying? Like, cause if you have been so fortunate and you do have a religious beliefs and your ego gets involved, I could see how you could end up on that road. For sure. God wants me to do things this way. And then you start justifying whatever you do. Or it's the opposite. You have no religious convictions at all. And you go like, this is, it's just, you know, it's like the, those people who look at the world where it's like, yeah, strongest person wins.

1:35:04The whole point of life is to be comfortable and like in a dominant position. And then like there's people who have that. That's like genuinely their philosophy. So like, yeah, I'll just leverage technology to gain more and more power to my advantage. and it's like that shit's scary especially when they get into like the realistic possibility of becoming biologically immortal and you're like fuck dude like i just want to grow my radishes man just let me grow my radishes yeah it's free it is it's freaked out man it is really freaked out but it's also like i don't think there's a lot of peace though if you if you're like running some cyber tronic fucking war surveillance apparatus i don't think those guys are chilling i don't some of them don't feel yeah that's fucking that's so that's the scary part is they don't have the thing yeah i think you're actually right about that like to them it's all a fucking game when they die they just short circuit or you know i'm saying they don't have like a lot of these people that feels like don't have something um no yeah you could be right about that but yeah man i agree it's like get back to what can you control right so you make a garden you go on a nice walk you You spend some time with your neighbors.

1:36:10You do things that feel good while you're alive. You know, we didn't create the world. We're just here in it. And, yeah, I don't know. It's all cyclical, too, man. It's like it's going to rise and fall. And, you know, again, it's the problem is like, yeah, hopefully this time this isn't the time where, like, everything pops off and we all just get wiped out in a hot flash. It's like that is that's scary. But, like, what are you like? What are you going to, like, run into the White House and just get, like, shot in the face by secret security? It's just like you have to just chill. It's like nothing you can really do.

1:36:40Let me see this. Steven Pinker argues that by most measurable indicators, violence, health, wealth, rights, and knowledge, humans are doing better now than at any previous time, even though it feels like things are getting worse. I don't fucking believe that guy. Well, I mean, it's like, yeah, there's probably less kind of crime and like large-scale violence. It's just – the problem is it's just the information. You get bombarded with just like all this horrible shit. Right. And I think there's still like, you know, news outlets or it's all everything is. I believe that this is it depends on what you mean.

1:37:12If you don't care about existing and like feeling like you can grow as a human, then maybe so. I thought we were past some of this like old school colonial shit. We're just going to, you know, you think we would get past that. Yeah. But not the same thing. They're going to they did it with Iraq. They're going to go, oh, there's like an existential threat. But, like, try to think back on since. But America knows it's not true now. We know it's not true. That's the problem. And it's not our people. Nobody's upset at our soldiers or anything like that. It's just the people putting them out there in harm's way.

1:37:45And to think about that shit. Well, it's like, dude, think about a time there hasn't been a giant, looming existential threat overhead. I know. Since, like, literally the atom bomb. It was like terrorism was the big one. And that was, like, the Iraq war. You know, back in, like, when I, before that, it was just, like, Fox News. My parents would watch it. It would just be, like, crime in the city. It'd be like, the inner cities are out of control. They're going to come kill you. And then it was just like, terrorists are going to come fucking kill you. And then it was like, white supremacy. Yeah, yeah.

1:38:10Remember they threw that there in the middle? Yeah. Yeah, then there was Unsolved Mysteries. Unsolved Mysteries was fucking good, though. I liked it. Fuck, it was banging. Maybe you could help solve a mystery. And do we go outside and fucking looking for missing people in our area? We're like, are you Rebecca Owens? Sadly, I never stepped up to the plate. I was a passive of Unsolved Mysteries. I never even tried. I kind of feel bad about that. I used to collect all those 1-800 of the missing cards, the ones that came in the mail. Yeah. And I'd fucking look at those bitches on my way to school.

1:38:41You're on the case. That's good. I felt like I was like, because I always wanted to find somebody that was missing or I always wanted to find like a dead body or something. Yeah. I was just talking to a guy today. He does, for a living, I had him on my show. For a living, he goes into bank-owned foreclosures and his job is to like assess how bad of a condition it's in. And he's been multiple times come in, just a dead body. Wow. And he said you just kind of like, you know, you got to like give it a respectful nudge. And then you call it. If I call the cops or whatever, come get it. You think the first time you nudge, you nudge light.

1:39:11And then after a while, you fucking get a little tough. Like the fourth and fifth time, you fucking just give it a. I think you give it two solid, just like a hard knock. Just two. You got to make sure. Just give it one. And then just like in case it's waking up. Then no response. Like, yeah, it's a dead person. I'm in the house with a dead person by myself. And I got to call the cops. Yeah. They must have had a good exterminator. There you go. Right there, dude. Is that J-Rod, the electrician? Shout out J-Rod, the electrician, dude. If you haven't followed that guy's journey, it's the best. But yeah, having a garden, doing things that build your own life up, they give you purpose, right?

1:39:50That's the thing. Let me do something with my kids. Let me fucking look at this dead rat or, you know what I'm saying? But let me, let me check out this dead rat space. Let me start a history podcast. Let me learn about journeys that were, before me you know just i think we have to start to create our own senses of purpose we have to find new ones in our lives yeah man i think that i totally agree and it's like you know i just for me it's just like i'm weary of the news apparatus information whenever i find myself getting angry you know it's again it's just like i just have to ask myself like am i getting pulled into some weird thing i try to just like you know it's it is i guess it sounds like a cop-out but like stay out of that as much as possible like what can i do it's like i'll try to make people laugh if i can and just make like, you know, some vaguely entertaining in some fashion stuff.

1:40:31And then just try to conduct myself and like tend to the stuff around me. Cause it's like, I don't fucking know what the hell is going on. It's like, I don't, I have no idea. I can, I can surmise and guess. And I think I have, you know, idea, but it's like, I don't know. So I try to just be like, look, man, that's, if someone calls me to ask me to help with the situation, I'll try to do what I can. But it's like, it's just, you know, you're almost like, sometimes I feel like I'm just spinning my wheels or just like I'm getting like kind of worked over a little bit to where it's like, man, these guys, they're in my head right now.

1:40:59And I'm, you know, that's, that's like dangerous, man. Especially when you get like collective anger, you can just fucking, you can move that stuff around and like people, you can do stuff with it. And it's like, I'm always kind of weary where I'm like, I don't know, man. Yeah. That's part of the trap too. You start to realize, well, this is part of the trap. They want us to be upset. Yeah. There's a reason why they have all this information that's out there. So much of it is still under control that there's a reason why this little bit in this got leaked. And it's like, yeah, I don't know. Being alive is interesting man.

1:41:24I will say it gets more and more interesting. It does. I agree. The older you get, I think it does get more and more interesting for sure. I like, I like getting older. A lot of people are always like, Oh man, this sucks. I'm like, bro, I like, I'm excited to be 50, dude. Like this is going to be awesome. You just got 40, man. I know I'm going to be 40. I'm going to chill and be 40, but it's like, I don't have the, uh, I think it's cool. I don't know. Something about getting older is like everyone, I guess when you start hurting all over, that probably sucks, but I kind of, I dig it. I like getting older, getting gray.

1:41:49I want to get, I want to look like old as fuck as fast as possible. It's my goal right now. Really? I'm trying to age Max. Oh, yeah. That's fucking dope, bro. This is a dye job, by the way. I'm like jet black normally. Is it really? No. I'm really stressed out. Well, dude, thanks for coming and chatting with us, bro. Dude, for sure. Thanks for having me. Upcoming dates, the Fitzgerald Theater for Matt McCusker. Hoyt Sherman in place desmoinesst paul phoenix tucson phoenix and tucson man uh you guys got to show up toronto oh the elgin's a cool spot dude toronto's been good i'm happy with toronto and chicago let's go that's my i'm stoked on that um dude thank you for that yeah dude thanks for and i got to come and do you guys to show again when i'm back in town please please do that'd be awesome next time it's uh we got to come and do we did that one last time with la mare it was awesome dude yeah Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

1:42:47Blonkeys or whatever I think it's called. Blonkeys was great. I think that might have been an all-time episode for real. That was fun. Yeah, dude, it's fun when you sit down. So thank you, bro. I appreciate it. Yep, tell Brittany thanks for inviting me to the party. For sure. It was a good time. Thanks for coming. Dude, it was great. I'm glad I got to see you and just be there for you. So many people love you. It's so funny. You're like the one guy when you say something like, oh, man, I'm a customer. People are like, God, he's a great guy. It's almost like you're dead. but they say that shit about you while you were alive it is kind of fucked up like god if he were here right now we would fucking i dug him he was a great guy it's nice to be getting eulogized just like yeah he was a great guy when you get living eulogies dude i think you're doing a good job man thanks for all your service to humanity dude and uh matt and shane's secret podcast and what's the new history podcast called it's just on our patreon okay yeah we just that's just a thing i do on our patreon shane was gone filming so i had to like i had to just read books i had to rely on like cool books, you know, that was kind of it.

1:43:44But it was like I can't just make up stuff to talk about. So yeah, I just had the books. Yeah, man. Thanks, bro. Thank you for everything, dude. Good to see you. Dude, appreciate it. Yeah, man. Thank you. Now I'm just floating on the breeze and I feel I'm falling like these leaves. I must be cornerstone. Oh, but when I reach that ground, I'll share this peace of mind. I found I can feel it in my bones but it's gonna take

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