#656 - Fahim Anwar

28:28And then she's like, oh, yeah, yeah. I, you know, it was a car accident. My car spun around and I got flung out of the car. And then you go, now what kind of car was it? no other person on earth would drill down on what type of car it was and then she's like oh I think it was like an Oldsmobile or something and then you're like now is that a nice vehicle did I really? oh shit I'd like to try to add context just so I know I know it's like so you though it's hard for my imagination to work if I don't know yeah you wanted to paint the story you know yeah and different cars I could see your body leaving out of it a different way like that's a good point if it's like a heavy older model car you could probably slip out the window side window if it's one of these new cars these little bouncing baby buggies or whatever you'd fucking fly right out of the front of that bitch yeah just on a left turn even yeah yeah just a windy day in clear lake a recall are you aware that one man every hour every day is diagnosed with testicular cancer.

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31:56Try Quo for free. Plus get 20 % off your first six months when you go to QUO.com slash Theo. That's QUO.com slash Theo. Let's fogging Quo. Bro, that sandwich shop we went to, that was great too. Yeah. One thing I noticed too about touring with you, because I mean, we've been friends and I see you at the clubs all the time, but then hanging out with you outside of the clubs is a different thing because everyone is kind of famous at the club because those are comedy nerds and everyone knows someone. But then you're like famous, famous. And I just had an experience that firsthand. Because I would see you at the store or I see you at the improv, you know?

32:35So we were... It would happen everywhere. Like that sandwich shop and then I remember DQ especially. We're at the Dairy Queen place. I wanted to get like a blizzard. And then you're like, I'll come. We saw Mount Rushmore or whatever. Oh yeah, we went to freaking Mount Rushmore. It's tinier than you think it'd be. We did like a whole family worth of vacationing in one week. We're basically in an RV. It's like we were doing a family vacation and happened to do these shows. Dude, you guys went in a helicopter, didn't you? I didn't, because I'm afraid of that. Oh, yeah. You didn't. I didn't, because I didn't pay.

33:05I got a deal out of those people, so I was like, they're fine. They're definitely. But Bizzle went, Lee went. I'm trying to think who else. Yeah, Lee Kimbrell and yeah, there we are, dude. I always, I mean, it was cool. It was definitely cool and impressive, but I thought it would be bigger. There's a lot of, like, kind of, there's like, you park, you walk up. They do a good job of making this you can't see it till you get there yeah yeah there is kind of the big reveal they have all the flags along the side of different countries which i don't even know why they have that and then the craziest part about mount rushmore is there's another side to it where they were they're making a the face of a native american right oh that's right i think originally it was public and then it got um kind of privatized and there was a man who was trying to do it with his sons just with the hammer by himself and an exacto knife and a sonic hair

34:04do you think that's how they sold it to them like all right we're gonna do the present and then we'll get to the like ah we ran out of dynamite yeah they just bait and switched them you're like you mean the stuff you used to blow up all of our villages and lives in history you didn't have just a little left over blew it all ironically yeah um dude this is so great while they're checking it out. Thank you guys for checking. It's fun to see this picture because I just, sometimes you just forget. Like, you just go through so many places sometimes and it's almost like it bums you out in a way because you, I'm thinking it bums anybody out when you're traveling or anything you're doing.

34:39It's like, you can only hold onto it so much, right? And then life gets going and life's so busy now. For everybody, the way we interact and the way there's like always entertainment, always something to keep us like, there's always like a seal with a ball on its nose hypothetically, you know? And it's, we forget sometimes, but just like the moments that we've had. I'm trying to be better about taking pictures. We have a phone in our pocket at all times and I forget to, you know, I'll be at the store, there'll be some great moments or I'll be on tour with you and I got to capture these moments or you kind of forget about them.

35:10It's nice to go through your phone, go through your Instagram and be like, oh, that was a fun time. Oh yeah. Going through is the best. Yeah, I think this is it right. Yeah, the Crazy Horse Memorial is a mountain monument under construction on privately held land in the Black Hills in Custer County, South Dakota. So that's a different mountain or whatever, right? It's not on the same. Yeah, but it's right there. Henry Standing Bear, a Lakota chief and well-known statesman and elder in the Native American community, recruited and commissioned Polish-American sculptor Korkzak Zajalkowski to build the Crazy Horse Memorial.

35:42In 1939, November 7th, Henry Standing Bear wrote to the Polish-American sculptor who worked on Mount Rushmore under Gutzon Borglum. He informed the sculptor, my fellow chiefs and I would like the white man to know that the red man has great heroes too. Wow. So that's putting like that tweet out there. That's like tweeting back then. Sending a letter just talking shit. Just being the Draymond Green of like the Lakota Nation. In June 3rd, 1948, Zalikowski detonated the first blast on the mountain and the memorial was dedicated to the Native American people. Work continues slowly over the next few decades since Zalikowski refused to accept government grants.

36:19ah so he probably didn't want to accept them i'm assuming because it was like this is the government trying to put money into pay like just to make it look a little bit better for what they did instead as he stated on a 1961 guest appearance on a tv show to tell the truth he raised money for the project by charging 75 cents admission to the monument work area the world celebrated 75th anniversary in 2023 crazy horse's left hand was finished by 2024 um i wonder when it'll be done i don't know well note here that uh the land is run by the u.s forest service and they were just defunded so it's probably gonna i think that affects how long it takes shit well i've got the hand though it's kind of nice yeah i mean it's like at this point i would pivot yeah to what and i hate to say that but but you have the hand yeah right do they have an updated what it looks Looks like here we go.

37:17Looks like Bill Maher a little. Maybe that's the pivot. Yeah, that's it. Yeah. Just real time shoots there. Okay. Oh, that's wild, dude. What if it was a huge mistake? They go, oh, we thought you wanted Bill Maher. Yeah. They go, no, it was this Native American. Oh, well, I opened up this attach. It was, I thought it was Bill Maher. I must have had my tabs messed up I must have had a different window open on my browser well what do we do now well I mean we've blasted a lot of the mountain whose hand is it I think it's Bill Maher's it might be the other I don't know yeah maybe you go like Bill Maher with a Native American hand that's a good compromise because you gotta do something or you just open up a ring shop and chisel out the inside of the hand I don't know what you do that'd be kind of cool like all they do is rings and it's inside of a hand.

38:13Yeah. I've thought about that before, dude. Somebody had a great name for a ring shop, dude. And every day I think about what it was and I can't remember what it was. He'll come back to you. Yeah. Thank you, dude. Of course. But yeah, the Crazy Horse Memorial started in 1948. Still not finished. Oh, there's a good video about it right there, huh? He's ripped. Look at that. The horse and him are ripped. That's pretty wild. It's kind of centaur-ish a little though, the art. Yeah. dude sometimes when you look at stuff that's like going on in the world today like it's kind of like you kind of look at things like you're like oh where there's like people being abused taking advantage of here right like there's a genocide here there's this this like uh senseless like propaganda ridden bombing and attacking over here right but then you look at also like that people like with that that that that happened in native americans too it's just like it's kind of like A Tale as Old as Time, which is so sad.

39:09I know. You'd think like. Yeah. Who opens for Spade right now? Matt? Matt Kershon? No, I love that guy, though. Oh, Patrick Keane. And he has this joke. It's like he goes, well, at one time there was like Joseph, Mary, Cain, and Abel, you know, and then Cain killed Abel. Did Cain kill Abel? Perplexity. Yes. Load up.

39:32Perplexity. Who killed? it's like the religious clue the board game that one always has it but he goes at one point in history 25 % of the population were murderers which is just for me that was always like one of the best jokes dude he's like there were four people and they couldn't figure it out and one of them killed one of the other ones it's a hyperset just heartbreaking but it's just crazy it's like sometimes you want to get ag that's one part where I'll get agitated about things but then I'm like but you know I don't know a lot of life is suffering do you think that's true? yeah I'm trying to make the best of what's in front of you and do what you can do but it's almost I mean I realize this later in life that a lot of life is like Sim City it'll never be perfect but you can get it as close to optimal as you can but nothing will be perfect you do something then drug abuse goes up then you do this other thing then the wait for the bathroom and the rollercoaster line goes up You know, just life is SimCity and there's not a perfect system, but like we're all striving to get there.

40:39And that's kind of hard to come to terms with when you're young. You just think everything should be candy pop or, you know, gumdrops and lollipops. But it's so hard to maximize utility for everyone because something's got to give eventually. But we can do our best, you know, and it's nice that we have that drive to do so as humans. Yeah, maybe we'll enter a new phase too where we realize like, oh, all this capitalism, all that bull, it's like it's not – nobody's winning with it. You know, all this like conquering. You would think that – like I kind of thought we were over like some of the colonialism shit.

41:12Well, even just like untethered capitalism, we're seeing the cracks in it right now. Yeah. We're like late-stage capitalism right now, which is interesting. Like it's just kind of funny. Like, oh, Mr. Beast has a chocolate. The Rock has a tequila, you know. Yeah. Beyonce has a toothpaste. you have to be now all our products are just faces it's interesting cavities yeah like somebody the other day offered to come was like going door to door like we'll come and spray your bugs you don't you have any bug you're like i don't know you're like uh bugs always attack people who don't know if they have them and i'm like they're just using like they use like reverse psychology and stuff and they're like oh be quiet be quiet and they're like oh do you hear that that's and they'll make up like a bug or something you know yeah like that's like a wasp or whatever you know or some bug it's like and i'll believe that out sorry but yeah you're like that's like uh you know they make something up like oh that's a fucking wasp from uh tijuana or something you know like are those worse than regular wasp yeah yes yeah they are they're south of the border they they they're smarter they're yeah oh yeah they're lost from home they're angry yeah you're like if they made it all the way up here they're angry yeah they want to go they're lost and the guy's like we We have to come and just spray tequila in your yard.

42:25And you're like, what? It's got to be top shelf. They know. They know the difference. Yeah. Oh, they know if they're getting debunked. But yeah, they're just like, anyway. So that, and then that dude had merch. He's like, you want to get some of my merch? And I'm like. Merch? The exterminator had merch? Yeah. I'm like, whoa. And that's when I was like, oh my God, we've hit this crazy place where it's like, you know, you could have like an, like somebody's bleeding to death. an EMT shows up and neither one of them will help and the EMT won't help until you buy his merch or as he's setting up doing CPR he sets up a little merch thing by it or like a wristband like Coachella what tier coverage do you want then the paddles are in this tent do you want the full paddles do you want the hopeful hand breathe is extra do you want one paddle or two we can give you half a zap but if you want the full zap it'll cost you and what's the voltage it's a tiered program yeah this is tiered man we'll give you a trials app that's just a taste just give your heart a taste yeah like oh it like that i would upgrade seems like your heart wants that hey the heart wants what the heart wants you know and that's what his merch said on it i'm like that's it's just like man it's just gotten to be a crazy world dude um dude you're so funny man you're one of the funniest guys well the fact ever existed, dude.

43:50I mean, I don't know about that, but. Dude, you are you're the guy that everybody goes to see. That's kind of weird. I wonder if that feels, does that feel like pressure? Because that's a real thing. People will be like. I mean, maybe at the comedy store or whatever. I'm kind of like niche. But still, people will be like, oh, Fahim's on, right? Yeah. And you'll go watch because the rest of us are kind of like slithering hopeful fucking like humor grifters, I think. No. But you're like, you always bring something new to the table every time. I guess I just, I like new bits. Maybe that's a detriment.

44:17I remember when I was a young comic, I just, I loved new material more than crushing. So there were certain shows where maybe I should have been trying to impress agents or managers or execs, but I had a new joke that I wanted. I was just, I'm always itching to like throw out a new idea. And when you're young, you don't really know how to navigate that as well. So I've just always been wired that way. I just love new material. So it's kind of nice that now it's caught up with me and it's an asset now where I know how to write a little faster. But yeah, I've just always been that way. I just like new ideas.

44:49Do you think like a lot of your ideas, because you all, like I'll say something to you like, man, I'm not feeling well. And you're like, what if you make it sound like I have some superpower? Like I go in some fugue state when you mentioned something and I go and the papers start turning. What if I'm perplexity? I should mention the guys. I've been perplexity the whole time. Dude, you're like, yeah, I'm not feeling well. Like, dude, what if you weren't feeling well, but like, um, there was like a bunch of bad guys chasing you, but you have to not feel well and still get away from them. You know, that's kind of, that's kind of a horrible example.

45:22No, but you capture the energy and I guess I'm kind of reserved generally if I don't know you, but like when something tickles me or I feel like I have a good idea or like we have a rapport, I've known you forever and we're just having fun and there's, I just love a good idea. So I get excited and then I'm like doing it and I don't even know that I'm doing it. You know what I mean? Like, that's what it seems like. It seems like this thing, it's almost like when you pour a beer and it's somebody like pours it too fast and it's just going to come out of the glass no matter what. Right. That's how it seems like with you.

45:50Whenever there's like some, like it's like, it's almost like watching like an animal get excited. Kind of, it's like this, what about this? And then it's like, you try to slot it in and you always slot it in like the best places. And then you're, and you're not afraid to do act outs on stage either. Like you are not like, I mean, I know for a while you were doing, um, Lance can't stop. Oh yeah. Can't Stop us. Yeah, I was doing Lance. Like the dancing shit was fucking crazy, bro. The rat tail, all that shit was great, dude. I had this weave. I did it at the mothership maybe like two years ago, but I don't do it as much anymore.

46:27What's funny is I booked this. I did a video game. Adam Ray's doing it now, though. Not Lance. He's doing a different thing. Oh, I'm joking. I thought, would it be great if now he's doing Lance Can't Stop us? He's doing Dr. Phil as Lance? Hey, what's your name? Are you two dating? Check out these dance moves Dude that's so great But yeah bro just your ability to like Not be like I've always been physically fearful right? Oh really? Yeah like I don't mind like kind of like You move you move around You know like taking like Ownership of the space But to act out like something physically That like scares me bro I guess when I was a kid Like dancing was my first thing So when I would do talent shows and like what do you mean dancing like who was I just love dancing who was funding it you mean Hezbollah or whatever like what even their dance wing no it was just I mean I grew up at Michael Jackson I'm the generation that just like he was king and he was at his peak like the dancing and the singing and all the music videos so I would try to mimic it and that was my first kind of like entry into this is so old it is this is when I was working at Boeing and at Long Beach look at those pants it's so old those are in again You look a little like Ari Maness Bro you fucking vibe you up homie I mean this dancing is not that great I wouldn't have this as We're keeping the wasps they want to stay and party Homie your shit is popping I downloaded Sony Vegas and I'm just like putting all these filters On it cause it's free I think it's like industrial light and magic Check this out George Lucas When was this all the filters just like some hunter Like looking through a scope really That's the crazy part Now he has glaucoma the hunter Now he's envious This song is a bop though If you watch it on real YouTube That song's a bop When was that?

48:13How many years ago? I don't know So many years ago 18 Bro That's crazy dude Yeah That's wild And then I would go to a cubicle And do engineering Thank God they didn't see my YouTube channel How embarrassing would that be? So you were actually in organized dance? Not No That sounds so funny I would just do it by myself I would be I would goon I would dance goon I would do it alone I would just like close the door turn on Michael Jackson or any dance music and I would just dance in my room I would dance in front of a mirror and there was a currency to that when I was a kid like to be the best dancer at school you'd have school dances and then everyone knew who the good dancers were and then you'd kind of like battle and there was social currency to dancing I'm sure there still is that's a good point but there was a lot of clout to that it was like oh that guy's the dancer it's like being the fastest kid at school remember how that was such a thing like the hottest girl would be with the fastest kid in school oh shit yeah like oh shit damien fast right and then he loses one race and she's like yeah it's not working out yeah or damien gets diabetes or whatever he can't run as much that's gonna affect his his 50 time right yeah the sugar got him coming up short so i was just into dance so i guess that's my foundation so i'm comfortable moving my body yeah and then when i got into stand-up when i was like 18 and when i'm on stage like if i have the idea i just i just do it i don't even think about it.

49:33I don't have a fear of moving. That's crazy. And also it's an extension of the idea. If I have a bit and I'm in it, I don't even know that I'm doing it. Honestly, it's second nature. Dude, that's pretty great because it kind of gives you two instruments. It gives you the verbal instrument and then it gives you this whole other instrument. I do notice if I do yoga a good bit and the more that I do it, the more my body shows up in certain bits. And it's like, sometimes your brain will be like, oh, you can do this because you've been flexible. You've been keeping active like your shit's like you're keeping your like your blood up your vibes up do this you know i'm saying and you're like oh that fits and it like it is interesting when uh you can your ideas can use your whole instrument for sure and then you realize how much of comedy is non-verbal even it's really cool to have a great joke and people are laughing and then you can get another laugh on a movement you haven't even opened your mouth it's just a look or a walk that's kind of exciting then it feels like, oh, I have new colors to paint with, with comedy, you know?

50:33Yeah, dude, that's, I mean, that's, I don't know it as well. I know what you're talking about. And there's moments, like, there's some moments in my comedy where I'll feel that way. I've seen it. I'm trying to think of this older bit you used to do, the meeting Brad Pitt. Oh, yeah. You would do it with that. I mean, you still do it. There are bits. I'll still act out the thing, but I'll be, like, I don't get into, like, I don't know. You get into this space where it's like, yeah, you're just this kind of thing that's kind of happening. I would love that as an intro Like this next guy He's kind of a thing that's happening Not like in the trades Like right now Energetically Ladies and gentlemen, the He-Man or I just come out Oh it definitely dude For one of your specials you have to do somebody comes out Rubs a lamp three times And then I come out The special's called career suicide Or You're just like the janitor that comes at night and cleans up around the lamp, but then you start to create this energy and this dream.

51:31That would be more like you. Bro, we have two movie ideas this pod. We got the Goonies idea, and then we got this. Yeah. Dude, there it is, Gooners, dude. That's so great. That's awesome. Yeah, dude. Yeah, man. Do you feel like... Because you've had... I mean, like... Yeah, I think if people picked out some of their favorite comedians, especially at the comedy store, because that's really kind of your home base, would you say? Yeah, yeah. Because I'm an L.A. comic, and that's sort of the place to be. There's three showrooms. I like working out there, too. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, it really is. There's no better.

52:10If you can go to one spot in a night. Yeah. And especially once you're allowed to park in the back. Oh, it's the best. Oh, that changes everything. Free parking. It's like I got in a stand-up just for the parking on Sunset Strip. Yeah, yeah. You always hear people say comedy in L.A. has changed. LA's like the scene is dead, the scene is different, right? Maybe not dead. I think you just hear different. How have you seen it change? Like probably since COVID into now. And like, what do you think of like just where things are? I mean, we were in the heyday of the comedy story. We didn't even know it before COVID happened, you know?

52:44Like Rogan was there. Joey Diaz. Yeah, it was just juggernaut after juggernaut. These lineups were insane. Tom Segura, Burk Pryscher. I mean, even on a Tuesday, I mean, even on a Tuesday, I mean, and that was it. That was just like kind of people that were just there. You and then you have. But I was I was Smith. I was like middle of the path. Like these guys are fucking like Titans. I was just kind of it was kind of cool just to share that space. I'm still an unknown, but comedically and artistically, it's cool to be in the mix. Like Louie drops in or Burr and then I go up after him. That's the thrill of the store that like at the end of the day, it still is.

53:20it's like being good at something like a really good saxophone player. It's like jazz. You'll see somebody who's just like huge. And then you get to take the stage and you're there for a reason. And you have to like survive. You have to learn how to survive when you're younger, but then you get to hold your own. And that's cool. Cause like audience members get to be hip to you. They be like, I came for Burr, but then I discovered these other comics. And that happens now at the store too. There's like young guys who were super funny. And then they come cause like they come to see you and then they get to to see everybody else on the lineup.

53:52So we were in the heyday back then, COVID happened. People go to Austin, some people go to New York, some people just go to Vegas or Nashville even, you know. So it's not as big as it used to be, it's pared down a bit, but it's still an amazing club and the shows are still really good. For sure. It's just that was insanity and we didn't even know it at the time. Right, we didn't know it. Do you think, what things do you feel like, because you always hear like people denouncing it kind of, not denouncing, that's not a term, but you hear like - Like it's over, LA's over. right do you is that okay to say that we hear that we do hear it but what do you but it's also every time something's over whatever that is there's always something new that's starting to so like what do you see that's like kind of the new things because i'm sure for like a lot of guys that couldn't get uh stage time yeah like um it was probably a hectic time for them guys and girls that couldn't get stage time like fuck you know it's like yeah you have all these guys who are able to sell tickets and they get all the all the like the top eight spots or whatever and and it's I'm sure that was kind of like a clog in the system.

54:49Yeah. I don't know if that's the right term. But I think there's a life cycle for everything. It's nature. Right, that's what I mean. These guys, I even saw it with you and some of my other peers, were kind of middling comics or whatever, and then you see everybody get really big, and then they're on the road. And that's awesome because they're getting popular, they're making money on the road, they're becoming more famous, and then that just naturally clears up stage time for this top tier at the comedy store. Because you're on the road, so-and-so's on the road, like a cigar or whatever, so now now these guys get to get those reps in yeah and then they get really good and then they blast off so there's this natural order of things so when everybody went to like austin and all that it just kind of cleared space for the next tier and now they're getting really good and stuff and then hopefully they will flourish yeah i'm sure yeah yeah it's just like yeah i think there's always something new that's starting so i guess yeah that's what i was kind of wondering since i i said because i moved away i was wondering like yeah what what kind of like do you feel like there's like a new thing that's happened there over the past few years just new shots for like younger guys and and also la will always be la new york will always be new york it'll ebb and flow from like how popping it is but like you know dual leap is in the crowd right or sabrina carpenters and the you know like these things happen it's still la yeah same thing with new york so you like can't take that away from it um and yeah everything's cyclical but then i also So the recent development, I think, is just as cool as that is, digital is the most important place to be.

56:19Before you had to be in New York and L.A. Now you just got to be on phones. So it's kind of cool how it's democratized comedy. Now you can be a funny kid in Clear Lake, Iowa or anywhere and just talking to camera. And you have just as much of a shot as like me at the comedy store or some other person at the mothership. So it's really even the playing field, which is kind of cool. The most important place is digital. But if you're talking about just stand-up, the craft, I think LA, New York, Austin are still great. Yeah. You know what's a pain in the ass? A website. Not just getting one built, but keeping it updated, fixing the issues, the debugging, chasing somebody down every time something breaks.

57:04That gets old fast. That's why I use Modify. M-O-D-I-P-H-Y. Yep, a fellow that I grew up with actually started this company, and so I'm grateful that I get to work with him still today. At Modify, you get a real team, a dedicated designer, fast response times, and they handle everything so you don't have to. They can even get your business showing up when people ask AI for recommendations. They've got that ability. Go to Modify.com slash Theo and get 50 % off your website build. That's M-O-D-I-P-H-Y dot com slash Theo. There's no F in there because they don't F around. Who's one of your favorite people that you've seen just being at the comedy store and sometimes we'll get to see like celebrities or something will come in there?

57:57Yeah, I saw Tarantino night. You were there, remember? You got to talk to him, didn't you? He's in, I shot that special hat trick at the comedy store and then the person who was shooting me had the cameras rolling. So I have it on film, me and Tarantino talking and then I was going to clear it with him, but I go, I don't want him to say no. So I'll just put it out there. what if he was saying bad stuff like you know i'm eating babies right i'm eating them i'm getting their life force and i'm like this is great keep rolling no just super nice super complimentary it might have been the night you were there too i think i was there i tried to go up and i kept getting pushed to a different room so i think you brought me up in the or and had a good set and it was just so surreal tarantino comes out and he's like i want to talk to the cool guy.

58:44And he points to me. And then we're just talking. Then all these other comedians come and he's holding court. He's talking about Pam Greer and Jackie Brown because he's just a fan. He's a fan of comedy. He's a fan of cinema. He just has this childlike exuberance to him. So we're just talking and he's in the thing and we ended up keeping it in. But it was so surreal. That was probably one of the bigger ones. Tarantino. Yeah, I just remember even the wake of that night. He's here. Oh, and Jim Carrey was there. That was a crazy night. Was that when they were trying to cast for I'm Dying Up Here. Yes.

59:15And that's how Santino got cast. And Eric Griffin, he saw them that day. Yep. It's kind of crazy. Somebody could just see you and then something like that happens and they end up, there you go, dude. Yeah. Those were great. If Chris Rock has ever come in, I remember when Louis came in years ago and he was like in the hallway and he was wearing, it was like after like the Academy Awards or whatever, and he had on a suit and I was like, dang, Louis. That's so crazy. And it was like. I saw Travolta one time in the parking lot Really dude? He was just hanging with Tommy Lee Tommy Lee I've seen him a few times It's cool But I've been accustomed to it So I'm jaded with Tommy Lee But every now and then Tommy Lee will like a reel of mine And it's just so surreal That's dope dude He and I were just texting the other day He's doing real well We were talking about our recovery programs He's fucking all up What a life some people Or what a just interesting existence but the highs and lows of it all too.

1:00:14Yeah. You know? Dre, I saw Dre one time in the parking lot. You saw Dr. Dre? Who's the biggest you saw? Or you saw Andre Iguodala.

1:00:28Yeah, that's what I tell people. I go, I saw Dre. I go, holy shit. Iguodala. I'm the only person who calls him Dre other than his mom, maybe. I call him Dr. Dre. Just because I think he's a doctor of basketball. Yeah.

1:00:47Who's the biggest person you saw at the store? I mean, John Mayer, when I would see him somewhere. That was always interesting because I've always like had such an esteem for his like word, like the way he does words like, you know. I saw him walking down one time because he would go to roast battle a lot. Yeah. And he'd be like him and Jeff Ross are close and stuff. And so I know I'd see him over there. Oh, I ate shit in front of John Stamos one time. That would hurt. Yeah. It was late at night. This is when I first got past. So I'm getting super late spots at the comedy store, probably going up at 1.30 a.m.

1:01:17I think Jeff Ross is hanging. So he comes with Jeff Ross sometimes. Jeff Ross and then Stamos. And maybe they tied one on. I think they'd been like, maybe they came from. Yeah, yeah. So he's eating chicken fingers. It's his back. So I'm not even getting full Stamos. I'm getting back Stamos. And then I would get this every now and then. And then back to the fingers. and I'm like hey guys you ever notice notice this

1:01:49bro that's crazy damn at least he checked back in that is nice sometimes they'll sit a blind guy to save money they'll sit a blind guy by the side of the stage just facing away from the stage and shit like sometimes they do that shit at least point him towards you let me believe yeah dude let me believe he's checking me out fuck he's just sitting over here like a broken compass over here dude um i'm trying to think of who else that i saw there oh dude i remember they said the guy remember that show uh family matters yeah remember the cop oh winslow yeah carl winslow carl winslow that's not his real name right that's his character name carl winslow they said that his uh grandson like his reginald vale johnson uh they said his grandson was in the audience one time and people were like losing their shit.

1:02:37I'm like, and I was so nervous. I hadn't I had like not so funny. I had not nervous over the Family Matters cop being in the crowd. His grandson. Oh, his grandson. And so, but it was like the first time I was in LA dude, fucking RVJ's grandson is in the crowd. At first I was like who the, yeah, I couldn't figure out RVJ, you know, I thought it was just somebody who was dumb who was trying to talk about a politician or whatever. And then they're like, no, Reginald Vell Johnson, dude, the cop from Family Matters, his grandson is here. And I was like, fuck I'm gonna fucking and I remember pacing backstage being so just like I just couldn't handle that there was like somebody who like knew somebody from tv that was in the fucking crowd and I fucking blew it you go oh no oh I bombed dude my favorite moment that ever happened though one of anyway spade telling me that he thought something was really funny one time was awesome um but one time damon wayans was there oh wow and senior yeah from in living color and i grew up same here man oh just like he has this one like it's a laugh sound that he makes it's like only he makes it and it's not even a laugh it's just like a oh oh oh something like that dude it sounds like a fucking a bird that's like semi-interested right like a beautiful bird that's semi-interested but during my set I heard him make that laugh that I had heard him use as a character from when I was a kid and bro it was just so it was crazy to me like at one thing I said he laughed at he made that sound at it and that was enough it's such validation yeah because we grew up with these guys and they were everything to us even just being on a show with Spade or just talking to Spade that was my era of SNL Spade, Sandler, Farley that's why I got into stand-up comedy.

1:04:28For real. I love that show so much, SNL. Everyone can make it on social media now. Everything's fractured so much. But back in the day, if you wanted to do anything in comedy, you had to touch SNL. Yeah. So that was everything. That was TikTok. That was Instagram. Anything comedy was SNL. That was Mount Rushmore. And I go, I want to do this. I want to work in this space. How do you get on SNL? I fired up my modem. Yeah. Yeah. I unspooled it like fucking dynamite to plug into the wall. Yeah. It was a controlled demolition to get on the internet. And you applied to Boeing. Right. You're like, I'll show them.

1:05:06Well, pretty much though, because I researched, I go, how do people get on SNL? And I saw that they came from one of two camps. They came from improv comedy. So Second City, UCB, Groundlings, you know, Yes And In, creating these scenes. or they were stand-up comedians like Kevin Nealon, Sandler, Schneider, Spade, Eddie Murphy. They were all stand-ups. So then I researched all the improv schools like UCB and Second City. I'm some kid in Seattle. I'm like, what are these schools? Okay, they're all in LA, New York, Chicago. I'm not there. I can't do that. You have to pay money to do it. My parents already don't want me to be doing comedy.

1:05:44It's like clown college. They're already against it. I can't say I'm going to pay money to go to clown college. and then stand up. I go, oh, I'll do that because I just got to show up and I get as much as I get out of it or I get as much as I put into it and I can count on me. I don't need improv partners. I can just, yeah, you get everything as a stand up. Whatever you put in, you get out if you have the aptitude for it. So that's why I got into stand up because I wanted to get on SNL. So it's so crazy to be at the store and then just talking to Spade. I know. I remember being a little kid sitting cross-legged watching the TV and thinking Spade lived in a box.

1:06:18Spade lived in a magic box and now he's writing down notes before going on stage and then bringing me up in the OR and it's not lost on me it's crazy this timeline that we're on I know it's hard to like it's such a good reminder to think about

1:06:39just also that all the humor that's come before you or whatever line of work you're in all the things that have come before you like whether you're a mechanic you're using like a new type of like ranch or some sort of new piece of equipment or something like people were mechanics for years doing that and got to that place or like some machine that makes your job easier some new way of doing it or like i don't know yeah just you forget that like all these people have gone up over time on stage to try and say something or whatever to try and get somebody to feel something or you or them to feel something or you to feel something yeah i don't know if any of that makes sense now that you're all part of this timeline you're all part of this and they happen to be a generation or so above.

1:07:19And then you don't know it at the time when you're a kid, but then you do the same thing for long enough and then you become a part of that fabric. And they were just people like you were at the beginning, but at a different phase of their, uh, becoming a butterfly or whatever it is. And what's mind blowing too, is these guys that I just thought were titans of comedy and could do no wrong. And we're blowing my mind to learn as you get older, that they were afraid of being fired week to week on SNL to hear Spade talk about that or Norm would talk about, oh yeah, we thought we're going to get fired.

1:07:49Or even Sandler. They thought about firing Sandler. You go, what? Yeah, or Chris Farley. I mean, yeah, just that any of them sat in that place like. That they were having self-doubt like that during what I thought was just the pinnacle and peak of comedy. I thought they were crushing it so hard and they were worried. That's mind-blowing. And then almost validating for the feelings you have because I have that sometimes. And I go, oh, that's just a human experience. Sometimes you think that they're celebrities and everything's gravy because that's the packaging. That's what you portray. That gets jobs.

1:08:26But then everyone is having a human experience inside of it. And it makes you feel less alone. Like, oh, okay. Even Spade and Sandler felt what I'm feeling right now. Right. Even they were taking a breath like, what do I do next or what's going to happen now? Yeah. Am I going to get fired? Was that good? I hope people will like it same exact three things it's like yeah those are questions I've asked myself since I've really joined the workforce at 14 really what was your first job my first job I sell hamsters but my adult first job was working in in Italian pizza worked in pizza for a while what was the name of it BJ's wait the chain No.

1:09:12Is it different BJs? That's the crazy part. We were like an outlier BJs. And it's supposed to serve for blackjacks, but people would get drunk in there and just start yelling blowjobs at us kids who were working the counter, right? And we'd make up fake orders for pizza deliveries, like Danny Glover wants a pizza. Because our guy who delivered was a born-again Christian. He didn't watch television or any movies. So he didn't know any celebrities at all. So we'd make up, like, Danny Glover wants a pizza out on an old military road. so he'd go deliver that bitch while he was gone just tried there's no way for him to fucking connect to this while he's gone so for 30 minutes he's gone we'd be deep frying fucking beer dude we'd pour beer deep fry it fucking eat it we'd get hammered dude and he'd come back and be like couldn't find the address you know oh well oh well but anyway we're rambling here's an old lineup from the comedy store oh yeah here's just a great lineup right here thank you there's fang chow adam ray argus hamilton owen smith jeff ross who is well should we give it maybe we should black that out because she it's a super famous person who doesn't use their real name so let's maybe black that out when we yeah air it and if you black it out and if you if you if you do black it out and uh want to put a name over it you could put um ali wong

1:10:40who else we got rick ingram andrew santino uh you and me right there bro dude is there anything like kind of scary or funny or like just all of it whenever like you get to bring you like like when you're set over it's kind of like a relief moment and then you get to bring somebody else up it's like it's like getting out of the pool and drying off and knowing you peed in it uh-huh you know well that's a skill you have to learn because not a lot of places do tag team like this. So when you first, when you get past there, you have to get used to it because most shows have an MC and you do your time and the MC comes up and then brings up the next person.

1:11:17This is all you go up, bring somebody else up. They bring the next person up. So you have to get in that mode of like my set's over. Now I've got to turn into host mode. It's like agent Smith, like, all right, this next guy, you know, you do your, you do your last joke and you go, how's everybody doing? Fantastic. The show keeps getting better. And you don't know how to do that when you're young. But then you've been there so long now. You finish your set, you're like, alright, this next guy is hilarious. You're gonna love him for He-Manwar. And then it's just very cool to go up after each other.

1:11:45Yeah. Yeah, dude. It is magic. And just to get to be in a place where you see other people and stuff like that, you know, where you see a lot of people and see what's going on. It was like a place to be, too, at night. It was like, it was like, okay, I don't need to be at a nightclub. I never knew any of the nightclubs that were popping or any of that stuff. Because I just didn't know. It was like, that's where I'll be. You know what's so weird? I know, like, the nightclub scene, I never went, and it's weird because I dance. So people think, like, you must go to nightclubs all the time. Like, I don't.

1:12:12It's so weird being good at dancing and then hating going to a nightclub. I have a private relationship with dance. I want to dance in my room. I don't want to go to some, like, laser place and, like, dance. That's not fun for me. Yeah. I like dancing by myself. Yeah, while some trans male man's over there trying to fucking drop something in your drink, you know? I was like, oh, I got an overnight for you. Yeah, I mean, that looks like fun, but I don't want to do that. Good for Jon Hamm. But that's not really my speed. Dude. So I don't forget, how much, how great was it, though? Michael Jackson, bro.

1:12:48Growing up during the Michael Jackson area. Yeah. It took me a while to realize what song you were singing. I'm like, this is a Theo remix. Me too, because I don't remember. I remember like a little bit of all of them though. It's like,

1:13:07Black or white. Bro, when black or white came out. That was like early AI. Black is white. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Bro, that shit was so good, dude. Remember those videos coming out too? It would be like a movie coming out. The world premiere of black or white. Sitting down in front of the TV. Wasn't Macaulay Culkin? He like got it going. yeah bro black or white when did it premiere let's look at it Michael Jackson biopic Michael first reactions that's coming out on April 22nd yeah that just came out did we do better than it at the movie theater this week it wasn't for this week it says busboys crushes Michael I've got that thing memorized though dude I saw congrats man I saw the weekend you think it's weird to put that out there to people put out like this is how much we did for the week or whatever?

1:14:01I think just showing what it is and being like blessed like I mean it is really cool that the fans showed up like that Oh we'll never make our money back No I think you will on streaming and stuff cause that's pretty good I read it was pretty good for an independent like Per screen it was 4th highest of all movies last weekend. Really? Per screen Let's go dude I didn't even know that Michael Jackson's black and white music video premiered November 14th 1991 as a massive global event directed by John Landis the 11 minute short film aired simultaneously in 27 to 69 countries with an estimated 500 million viewers bro man people forget that was when 500 we were all like it felt like every you could meet somebody from another language even somebody that was in a coma and you could at least both knew yeah you knew Michael like you couldn't speak the language but then you like grab your dick and he goes oh me too Me too.

1:15:00You, me. And then he would lean. Yeah. You too. I love watching old Michael Jackson tour footage. Because it's just so fun to watch. And because he was the biggest thing on earth. And you'll see like European 35-year-old men fainting. Like, yeah. Michael, Michael. Literally getting gurneyed out. Did this guy, this guy went by himself? He went with his bro. Like, I would have to get a new job or something. His brother's waiting in the car probably. Yes. Yeah, there it is right there. Who's doing this to people today? Nobody. Maybe Bieber. Yeah, but I mean, not to this degree. Not like this. No one's doing that.

1:15:43And look how old they are. Bieber, they're younger. These are like 40-year-old. They have a family. Yeah, this is someone. This is someone's grandpa. This is. And he's just standing there. He's just standing there and they're fainting. God. Like, imagine paying all this money to go see Michael Jackson, and he's standing like a statue, and you wake up in the hospital. You spent all that money? And they go, where's Michael? They go, Michael left. He's in Barcelona now. I saw him remove his glasses, and that's all I remember. Well, he did all his songs, and he glided. I miss it. Yeah, you miss it again.

1:16:22Every time? He's like, I swear I won't faint this time. Yeah he promises his whole family He won't faint He wears something like A neck braise Yeah something just to keep his blood Like clock record Yeah he tapes his eyes open He's like not this time He has like three mortgages To pay for these Michael Jackson tickets That he always faints through Dude god Michael Jackson was the thing And that was one thing at school That all the kids could do Like Yes

1:16:54It was more about the dancing. Kids weren't trying to like out Michael sing each other. We weren't like. Yeah. It was more about the moonwalk. Yeah. We didn't come to like recess like.

1:17:09Dude, you had the moonwalk. My shit was a little bit more like the Pluto fucking shuffle boy. My shit had a limp and a hell of a bit of swag in it. I got to remember this story. I just heard this story. It was like a secondhand story. that one time Mike Tyson and Michael Jackson, they went out together, like just all, they were all going out on the town. And Michael had a bunch of chicks with him. Michael Jackson had a bunch of chicks with him. And Tyson was like, hey, which one of these girls is with you just so in case I'm flirting with one or whatever. And Michael Jackson told him, they're all with me, get your own bitches.

1:17:41That's what he told him. For real? That's what I heard. And I really heard that. Wow. I heard that. I actually heard it today. I just love hearing that story, through the filter of his voice. They're all with me. Get your own, bitches. And it's funny, they both kind of have similar falsetto voices. Oh, yeah. Hey, Michael, how many of these can I have? I don't want to step on any toes. They're all my bitches. Get your own, Iron Mike. That's uncalled for, Mike. That's uncalled for, Mike. Whatever, Mike. The battle of falsetto mics. Bro, you didn't even have to have any friends i bet when you're a kid dude you're just fucking doing your own thing well i get the idea but i mean i don't i don't i don't eat breakfast and i'm just like talking to myself in the like this is fun because we're just like riffing and shit but i'm not eating cheerios and like what if what if i said a cheerios i'm eating do you notice so you like so you so your imagination must be pretty active you probably have an active imagination i think it's the same thing yeah do you notice there's things that kind of dim it kind of or do you notice have you ever noticed certain times in your life or like kind of periods like that you've gone through or even like things you've like or activities something you've engaged in every time you're like that i noticed that that takes away like it kind of dims like my brain's ability or medication even i'm just asking just curious because we never think about like what we do and how it affects our imagination yeah yeah i mean i'm i'm very personality and energy based like if i feel comfortable and safe.

1:19:12I can have fun and be, these ideas will come to me and I feel comfortable sharing them. But if I, if I don't know someone as well, I'm, I just find it's happened enough times where I'm like kind of reserved and I go in and I'm not, I'm not so forthcoming with ideas or whatever. I'm just kind of like in myself. So I have to have, cause I think at the end of the day, I am an introvert, even though I do standup. So it's kind of weird if you're at a party and They're like, you're a standup. And I'm not really talking or anything. But in my mind, I'm like, I don't know you. You know? Maybe some people have a stereotype of what a standup comedian is where they're at a party and they're like, how much does a polar bear weigh?

1:19:51Enough to break the ice. I do. Oh, got your nose. You know? I just kind of lay in the cut because I don't know anybody. Yeah. And I'll latch on to whoever I know. But I'm not like a social butterfly and I'll observe and all that. but I can't have real fun unless I am accustomed to you and I know you and we have history. Yeah. There's some comfortability. Then my creativity can come out. So I've just noticed that. Yeah. So it's kind of like energy based. Even doing Rogan, like Rogan's so awesome. He's afforded me a career, like you a career. Same for me. So many of our peers owe so much to him.

1:20:28Like I'm able to tour and like make a living and stuff and it's awesome. but I just I don't know him as well as I know you and that show is so big and stuff and I feel like I can't be as me as I can with you you know what I mean? because he's also an elder he's a few generations above me in stand-up so I feel like I can't be as silly as maybe but then you're a silly guy too well yeah I mean Joe's probably he's probably only one generation ahead of us maybe that yeah but he likes information and he's like wants to figure things out yeah Joe's like a learner yeah You know, like the rest of us are out here.

1:21:03The rest of us are most of the time out here kind of gooning around. What about South American wasps? Yeah. What's your take on that? But Joe's like a, he's generally like a curious dude. Like he's like super curious and he really is. And it's guy, he remembers everything. That's gotta be almost, I wonder if that's almost hectic sometimes. And to retain all that information, I'm so envious of guys like, like Rogan who knows so much or Dave Smith or Tim Dillon. They're so well read and worldly. Me too. and I'm like, it'd be funny if some guy fainted under Michael Jackson. It's just, I feel so dumb.

1:21:36But it's just different, you know? We need Joe to like, you need somebody that was just going to interview everybody. Like, I'm going to talk to every single person. I'm not going to have too much say-so in it or anything, you know? I always think he's done a pretty good job of staying unbiased about stuff. And then sometimes he steps in when he feels like, you know, he tries to like, like we all do, like say, this is really how I feel about something. I was on a show a couple weeks ago And people were giving him a hard time online About him like not being supportive Like about antidepressants or something And people take a clip and make it like a big deal But I didn't feel that way at all Like in our conversation you know So sometimes it's so weird the things that people clip I think it's so big And it's so singular That people like adding their spin to whatever it is You can take any clip And add text to it and then you're funneling people's viewpoint into that.

1:22:27So much of what we do is just the clipped version of it. Yeah, that's a good point. People have so much agendas. I think that's what's great about the show is that it breathes for three hours and it have all these different people and then people kind of decide for themselves. But the whole clipping on X is kind of, that's like a game genie is cheating. Yeah, it feels a little cheating sometimes. Yeah, but people were like, yeah, he's not supportive and stuff. And I've never felt anything. In fact, as I've gotten to know him better over the years, which is, which is, he's such a busy dude, I think.

1:22:54Like, imagine, like, I look at my phone, it's like my mom's texting me, you know, she's, she's like, also send me some emojis that aren't always most positive. And some of them, I think, means things that she doesn't even know they mean. So a couple of veggies she sent me. I'm like, this is, yeah. Eggplants, mom, you should never be. Don't tell me you're making eggplant. Just say eggplant. Yeah, just make it, dude. Just make it, don't even bring it up. Or she uses like that open mouth emoji all the time. And I'm like, what are the tongue out? She's like, it's kind of crazy. She's like, it's so hot today.

1:23:25It's so hot today. Squirt, squirt. So hot today. I'm gonna make a couple of eggplants. And I'm like, dude, what are you? God, she's just, she loves gardening. So it's just like, you know, it's just navigating shit like that. But imagine you're Joe Rogan. You open your phone up. It's like Elon Musk has probably texted you, you know, like the, some guy, like some guy whose name you can't even read from like another country who wants to come on your podcast. They're like bag, you know? and then your wife also wants stuff you have kids or ask you just like he's like a thoroughfare for humanity and he'll still text us back it's crazy I'll text him and then even to book his show he's like how does he does it I know he doesn't I mean not to call you out I mean you have a producer I love you but like it's fine to get everybody else that's producers Rogan is like hey how's this day sound I know that's bananas yeah dude but sometimes it's like we don't watch the whole episode and people don't know things yeah well we live in a hot take society we do it's kind of crazy well there's money in it so there's money there's attention there's views so yeah you just have to pull back and try not to be so susceptible to it like as you get older just realize okay yeah i think sometimes it's like i don't know but yeah i felt yeah i mean in that instance or with that specific thing with joe just felt like man i wish this isn't what i felt like happened you know yeah and yeah and he's just he's been super supportive he always kind of checks in over the years like he's gotten a little bit more we'll check in or invite me out to dinner with his wife and his kids like little things like that it's like where I know it's hard it's probably hard for him to even be around a lot of people a lot because it's just a lot of energy you give out I remember we went to dinner in Austin one time it was it was him Tony Lex Friedman I'm trying to think who else who else it was like a bizarre you're like what is this life you know we're at some Italian restaurant and then he changes the gravity of a he's so big Like you forget it.

1:25:16Again, it's one of those things of like I see him at the comedy store all the time and I just see him as a comedian. I know him as that. But then you enter the real world and you kind of see how everyone else reacts to the same person. Yeah. So we're just eating dinner and then this pasta would hit the table every now and then. And then we look up and there's like a 45-year-old woman just like throwing pasta to get his attention. She's like, hi. And he's like, yeah. yeah I just you know I just want to say hello and he's like why don't you come downstairs and say hi like a normal person I don't want to bother you throwing pasta is way worse than just I don't know what was going through this lady's head but she was just throwing pasta on the table that's Italian emails brother that's all it is hum and warm pasta at Joe Rogan's table that's fucking crazy but yeah Yeah.

1:26:13Anyway, I think it, yeah, I think it's gotta be, I don't know. Sometimes you think of what is it like to be him? Cause he's, he's an interesting guy. Um, there's a question I want to ask you. Can I do that? Yeah, sure. So, okay. We were doing one of the shows and then I don't know if you even heard it. You're on stage. And then some random person was like, talk about road rules. Oh yeah. And to me, it's just so absurd because you've done so much past, beyond that. You're kind of like, does anybody even remember that? How do you take it, that part of your life? And then what was that kind of fame?

1:26:44Because that was, MTV was huge. That's sort of like what TikTok is now, or being a streamer. That's a good point. I never thought about it in a correlation like that's what TikTok is now. Yeah, think about any young person who's famous. MTV was that for us. That was like the vessel. Well, it's probably where Michael Jackson premiered on. I'm guessing that it's one of the networks that it premiered on. Because I think MTV was semi-universal at the time. Yeah, that was our TikTok pretty much. If you wanted anything young, it was that. And I also have this thought too. Young people today have it so nice that the entertainment they watch is made by young people.

1:27:17When we were growing up, we were watching balding 30-year-olds try to be in high school on TV shows. And some of them were probably touching the kids they were working with. Maybe. Maybe. We don't know. but all the, there's a pretty good chance that that was happening, but we were watching an approximation of youth, you know, like that's cause that's all we had. We're watching yo mama. We were watching Wilmer Valderrama host different factions of yo mama groups. Yeah. Now, if you're 10, you can find a tenure. Like, or now if you're 20, you can find it. You can find like, Oh, you speaks to you.

1:27:48Right. That's a good point. I never thought about that. Exactly. Cause even like, I'm trying to think like, yeah, MTV, it was like older people. It was people who were watching that were, 12 or 13. It slanted younger. But you had to watch... These are the youngest people I see on TV, but they happen to be 20 or 25. Like 90210, how old were they during shooting that? They were probably 26-ish, I would bet. Maybe. Like one of them was full-on like balding. That's a good point, and he was in high school. I'm like, this isn't the teacher? They gave a teacher a backpack? Bro, remember that? Yeah, those were the shows you would sit and watch this.

1:28:26Oh, dude, 90210 was like... It was the show for my family. And then I'll get back and answer your question, too, because I don't want you to think I was trying not to answer it. It was that was a show for my family. We were like we were all at a Shannon Doherty, Jenny Garth, Tori Spelling, Brian Austin Green, Jason Priestley, Luke Perry, Ian Ziering, Gabrielle Carteris, 29 years old. Yeah, I mean, I mean, some of them are young. Yeah, some of them make sense, but some of them are a stretch. And this is when it started, too. So by the end, they were all mid 20s. Right. but dude yeah that like that show was the show where like our like probably i'd watch with three of my siblings and we were all like two years apart so we all had like different like one of us was watching it was like cool about school one because it was cool it was at a high school and one of us was watching because like you know we hadn't gotten to hear about things that like older kids do or anything like that and then um one of us was just watching to see like if there was any leg showing or anything like that or a little bit of sexy time or something you know but yeah dude that was a fucking juggernaut how many people watch that show I wonder so many I'm sure it was unbelievable Luke Perry passed away a few years ago didn't he yeah and Shannon Doherty yeah that show was wild dude yeah for the road rule stuff the crazy thing for me was sometimes I can't even remember it it's that long ago it's that long ago i think and i think i've just had like you know we get busier and like with comedy you're doing a lot of stuff like you're performing in a lot of like you know you get up almost every night and so so i think that starts to take you know uh that starts to take over a lot of space um one thing that was i think in hindsight a blessing about that experience was that i kind of got to be like you got a level of popularity there but you didn't like with doing road rules being on mtv but you didn't have any money right so you had no and you had no uh the only way you could get like any like kind of you had to keep going back to them to if you wanted something else you know you just had to be in their world and and part of it was a blessing and stuff like that you got to do cool stuff not complaining but um but but one thing was i realized at that time that like there wasn't a like being popular was cool but there wasn't like like a ton of value to it.

1:30:48Like for years, I kind of thought like, oh, is this cool thing? But then I was like, well, what is it for? Like, where does it really, you know, like, you know, I'd end up having long conversations with drunk dudes at a bar or something or some fucking monster that corners you. And you're like trying to look over his shoulder for like, hopefully, hopefully some woman's giving you eye contact. You're sitting there just, just stuck fucking inches away from some dudes, non deodorant, you know? But yeah, I think I realized that there was, wasn't a lot of that fame had like, Like there wasn't a ton of value to it.

1:31:18Well, especially monetarily, it wasn't there, right? So you just had fame, but you didn't have, you didn't really own your fans kind of, right? Right, everybody was like, oh, look at that motherfucker. Damn, he's fucked up, you know, or he'd be at the bus stop at school. Just normal shit that's totally normal. You're in college. Yeah, so it just gave you a bunch of conversations you didn't want to have to be in or. Yeah, well, maybe look at the values of popularity. Like, well, what value is this? Like, yeah, it's valuable to me in the sense of like, if I'm going to be out in a, or if I want to get help get into a nightclub or something, but I don't really have a voice for myself.

1:31:48I didn't really have anything to show for it. You didn't make any money. So it was, you know, you had some fun experiences, but then you were also left with a lot of people who knew who you were and no way to hide from it. You know, like I remember I was, even after that I was sleeping on my buddy's floor for like probably a year, you know? So I don't know. It just, it almost felt like, I don't know. It just gave you a look at what popularity was and the values of it and the non-values of it, I think. So then I started comedy, and then 10 years later, I had this whole other experience. And most people don't even know about the first one, or they just didn't put it together.

1:32:26I don't know what happened. Yeah, yeah. Because I so rarely hear about it. Such a deep cut. Yeah, sometimes I wish I'd remember. I think I was just at a young place. I was just at a place where you're just energetic and frenetic and shit. You're just trying to get laid and trying to just jerk yourself off or whatever and tell enlightened people, say you got laid or something. Well, I guess now people, because you were glomming onto this other thing that was kind of bigger than the pieces who are part of that show. So it almost feels like you're renting that fame or you're just a part of the assembly line.

1:32:56Yeah, I felt like I didn't have any, it didn't represent me. Like none of the, and it felt like I didn't, they can edit things the way they want, which are fine, but it's not my, I don't get to be the, I don't get to be the be all end all of me, right? Yeah. Like I don't get to say exactly how this is, this is for me. But I don't know. It was cool that I got this. One thing I think I'm almost kind of grateful to God about it is that I got this like trial run at what it was like to have some popularity. And so then whenever it happened again, I think I've been able to navigate it differently for myself.

1:33:28Not always great, but I've definitely had a different perception of it and a different understanding of the potential values of it in some spaces. Right. Maybe. Does that make any sense? No, it does because even people have an idea of what fame is, but there's like levels to it as well. And you think you want it. I think especially when you're young, just because the things that you want, fame will unlock immediately. But those are kind of primal wants. Once you get past it, you realize, okay, it's not as great. But it's great when you're 18 or 20. Yeah, if you're just trying to be coming or whatever, getting meals or whatever.

1:34:02Yeah. Yeah, coming and meals is great. Coming or meals, fame is great for that. But like, why am I here? It's harder. If you want to bust and have like pad Thai, it's famous. Awesome. You'll do those for free. But if you like, you know, what are these relationships? Are they built on lies? It's harder for that. Yeah, it's harder. So I don't know. But but yeah, sometime we'll have to next time we do an episode. We'll have to go down some of those roads or even just roads of like shows that we used to watch and shit. Thinking about something that's fun. So you started out in business, you worked at Boeing.

1:34:41What were you doing over there? I was doing engineering. So I was doing stress analysis at Long Beach. So the Boeing out in Long Beach, that's what I went to school for. I did mechanical engineering. But I knew I wanted to do stand-up when I was 18. I was very young. And then I just applied to jobs in SoCal. And then I got a job at Boeing in Long Beach. And what is a mechanical engineer, just so people know? There's different facets of it you can go into. You can do like HVAC. That's an industry you can go into, just like heating and cooling. You can go into some people work at Toyota or with cars.

1:35:12And then aerospace is a big employer of mechanical. Just think about anything mechanical. There's going to be mechanical engineers like Tesla, just, you know, anything mechanical. So then, yeah, I got my degree. And then I knew I wanted to do stand up. And as a stand up back then, there was no Internet, really. I mean, social media. You had to go to New York or L.A. And I'm like, oh, my parents are in Seattle. I kind of want to do entertainment as well TV movies so I chose LA so then I just applied to jobs in LA and then I got a job at Boeing and Long Beach and you hadn't started doing stand up yet no I did the summer after I graduated high school I was 18 and then I just started going to the comedy clubs in Seattle did you see Adam Ray, was he there?

1:35:55he didn't start yet so I think I met Adam Ray yeah Moot was there Jeff Dye actually started a few years after me maybe like two or three years after me so there was some funny people coming out of Seattle but Adam Adam didn't I met him but he didn't start in the scene there he started out here in LA he went to USC but he wasn't at the mics or anything like that oh got it Adam Ray yeah so that's how I ended up in LA working at Boeing I was there for like 4 years and then I quit was it cool over there like is it like a nice space where you guys have like a lunch or like a community area it was so quintessential like office spacey.

1:36:36At least I was envious because tech was having this boom with Microsoft, Google. People are on Razor scooters jumping to ball pits and shit. You know what I mean? Like tech looked so fun. And then - That's crazy. It did. But just to hear somebody say that, it just shows you how people are so different in different places where they grow up. Yeah, yeah. Like nobody ever where I'm from has ever said tech looks so fun, dude. You're saying no one in Louisiana said tech looks so fun to you? I don't think so. You ever get a lot of kids saying that? No, it's okay though, but it's cool though. It's just cool how like places are different.

1:37:09And did, was your parents like a lot of pressure? Do you have a lot of pressure? Yeah, yeah, yeah. What is your, where are your parents from? Afghanistan. From Afghanistan? Yeah, yeah. So they came here from there. And so yeah, there is that stereotype. What is that stereotype? Like, is it a real stereotype? And is it just for Afghanistan or is it for a lot of, is it similar? I think it's immigrants. Just like, you know. Oh, it's immigrants. It's an immigrant thing. If you leave your country and you come to America, you don't want to hear your kid is hitting the mics. You know what I mean? Like we evaded the Russians for you to try this new bit.

1:37:43You know? That's true. I'm like, you don't understand. This joke has legs. Just let me do it three times. And if it bombs, I won't do it anymore. Yeah, mom, it's about Waymos, dude. It's about Waymos. We just got Waymos in Nashville too. Yeah. And people are fucking, you can see people out there. They don't like them. Well, they're calling, I'm not saying they're out there yelling, you know, shit at them. Right, right. They call them momos? We all like you momos! Get the fuck out of here. Or wagers they're calling them. I'm like, that's insane to me. What's happening? It doesn't even know a slur is being thrown at it.

1:38:16It's just trying to get its people to where it's got to go. Yeah, dude. I saw you. Dude, this reminds me. You had something. The car started complaining. It was having a bad day. Was that what you were saying? Oh, yeah. It was like a waymo. I forgot how it went. You know, I mean, maybe I have it on my Instagram somewhere. But like, I think you had some tech guy on because my buddy hit me up because you mentioned me. Anytime you name check me, I have, you know, huge friends who are huge fans of the pod. And they're like, oh, Theo talked about you. And I saw the clip and you're talking to some tech guy.

1:38:49He's like, you know, he has no idea. And you're telling him the Waymo joke. And he's just like staring at you like paint drying. But you're just telling him my joke. And he's like, yeah, that's great. Maybe it was Alexander Wang. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Was it? Oh, that's great, dude. Oh yeah, maybe this is the one. Yeah, let me see this, bro. This is fucking good. I forgot how it goes. I got to take one recently, I get in, there's no driver, and the Waymo goes, this isn't my main thing, I rap. And it was quiet for a while, the ride was pretty quiet. And then out of nowhere, the Waymo went, we need to build a wall.

1:39:24It was like a MAGA Waymo, I guess. Then we hit a guy, we hit a person, just flew over the car, And then the Waymo went, oh, fuck, fuck, fuck. Fuck, you gotta help me. What do you mean I gotta help you? He's like, you're a part of this now. How would I even help you? He's like, chop it up into smaller pieces. Throw the parts in the back. I go, this has happened, Waymo? He goes, you have any coke? I go, what? Waymo, you're a car. How do you even do coke? He's like, put it in my charge port. Oh, fuck yeah. Let's go to the car wash. I have strip clubs for Waymo's I mean I'm just like doing a screenplay for a Pixar movie about a Waymo dude that's great bro I feel like you do like a million of those every single time what about this and it's like some new thing man it's always so novel you're one of the people that when I see you it just makes me like I don't know it's like the purest thing it's like this is something funny let me see how it goes That's so cool that you like notice that or appreciate it because that's honestly the whole reason I do stand up is I think of something and I think it's funny and I want to share it.

1:40:37And I hope that people validate what I this idea like, does this idea work? Does it have legs? And when they do, it's the best feeling in the world. Whenever I do stand up, it's just I hope you think this is funny, too. Like, I don't need them to laugh or whatever, but I'm like, I thought this was novel. Do you guys find it novel? and there's just such joy in that. And when it works, I'm the happiest in the world. So I'm chasing that. Yeah, why is that you think? What is it? I mean, obviously we want to make people happy. It's fun to make somebody laugh or something like that. There's something so perfect about it.

1:41:07I get it. It's like there was nothing here a moment ago and now you're laughing or we're both laughing. That shit's pretty dope, really. For me, when I have a bit that I know works, I get less of a rush because I know it works. I know the joke works. So it almost feels like it serves its purpose like when I do the road. and you're celebrating those bits that you got to that place. But if I'm just working out in town, I'm like, I already know the joke works. So it doesn't scratch the comic itch in me. But if I can get something that's mediocre or a brand new thought to work, that's when I get all the dopamine and stuff.

1:41:41I'm like, what a rush. That's catching a big wave for me. So I'm just, yeah. As a mechanical engineer, do you think that, because we've been talking about things that are black and white. We've been talking about Waymos, Michael Jackson. But yeah, in the spirit of continuing to talk about things that are black and white, do you think that we went to the moon? I just caught it right now. Jesus, that's so funny. You just kept on drilling down on it, and I finally got the black or white thing. Yeah. Do you think that we went to the moon? You're a mechanical engineer, dude. Yeah, yeah. And you left the business because you're like, oh, they don't.

1:42:14Why did you leave? I was finally doing well enough in comedy where I could. So that was the goal the whole time. But I mean, most of us had a double life it until you got to the point where the art was doing well enough to abandon ship. Did you have a last day? Do you remember? Yeah, kind of. Oddly enough, I had I had booked this MTV show and they needed me for three months. And I didn't even want to leave. I didn't even want to quit. I just I wanted to do a leave of absence because I planned on returning after shooting this MTV show. I'm like, yeah, I you know, can I come back after three months?

1:42:48I have to take this leave. And they're like, no, you can't do that. You can't take that much time off. And then I read that you can only collect unemployment if they fire you. So then I just sent an email. I go, I will be leaving on this day and I plan on returning this day just to let them know that I plan on returning. And then I just left the office. And then I wouldn't answer their calls or emails or anything. I was just waiting for them to terminate me, right? Right, because then you can get unemployment. Then I get unemployment. Yeah. Yeah, I'm playing 4D chess. There's levels to this thing.

1:43:26So enough time. I'm dodging them. I'm dodging them. Then finally I get a voicemail like, well, okay, well, we've terminated you. I'm in my shitty apartment that you just saw where I'm dancing with JNCO jeans. And I'm like, yes. Free at last. Free at last. You got to fucking put on Amistad, the soundtrack and just fucking put on your favorite ballet boots. So that's why I left. I finally was able to. It was still dicey, though, even even though I left. I wasn't making tons of money or anything, but it was too big of an opportunity. I'm like, oh, this is an MTV show. I I should do it. What show was it?

1:44:07Disaster date of all things. Oh, that show was. You remember that? No, I remember a lima date. Remember that? I remember that, too. Remember Third Wheel? Remember the theme song for a limit day A limit day A limit day They would have time cards Was that a limit day Why don't you have a 30 minute time out And be like that bitch gave me a time out And then she'd be with her man Yeah the best one of them Whatever the one was They had a dude who slipped off and did a bunch of fucking yay And came back Yeah that dude was bagged up when he came back And that shit was the best bro and when they had like three or four people and they had to pick who to let go and sometimes you'd be shocked, that was good that was eliminated when they had like three or four of them I think four or three and then each time they would let somebody go and then they had to pick the last one or whatever then there was one called Fifth Wheel that was on the bus or whatever did you get to be the datey?

1:45:02so the premise of the show oh my god, I'm so young disaster date you would just be a terrible dater so friends would set their friends up on the date and then they would see how long they could last on the date and you're just acting wild. And however many minutes they last, they got a dollar a minute, which is like nothing. Why would anybody do this? So if they sat through - Well, you could just be Somalian and make millions, dude. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, so not worth it. Remember Jeff Keith was on it? Oh, I think I remember this. Yeah, it was like boiling points for dating. I remember this.

1:45:36Was this with Sally? Yes. With that production company? So the late 495 Productions. And their big show was Jersey Shore. Yes. And this was the redheaded stepchild that nobody watched. Got it. Because Jersey Shore was like fucking huge. And I remember there was a wrap party for, I did two seasons of this. Like we did a wrap party, 495. And Jersey Shore was there. And then we were there too. But like nobody gave a fuck. We were like the Timu show. So. Disaster. Snooki was there. Mike, the situation was there. In the heyday. yeah oh so i have an old picture of like me and snooki and me with the situation and he's doing this like very on brand he's like dude he has aviators and he's like and i'm like bro that shit's so great though yeah um what i was gonna ask you about oh do you think my oh yeah but on the engineer side do you think we went to the moon like does it because a lot of comedians have a good sense i think sometimes of like bullshit uh-huh because they're making a lot of bullshit.

1:46:41So it's like they know how much is on the scale at times. What do you think happened, man? I'm not as smart as people think I am just because of the title. I think we did. It's tough because, yeah, I worked at Boeing and I was an engineer, but then people think that I'm way... I just did a bunch of school. I was good at these formulas and I did it, but I really don't know a ton of stuff. But I think we did go there. You did? Well, look at the footage of the iPhone. That was kind of cool. That just came out? Yeah, the astronaut was in there. It was pretty cool. Let's take a peek at that. Who's the first wigger in space, do you think?

1:47:15Have they done it? Like test their blood to see? Just like bonafide. Send a real fucking Jason Williams up there. You know what I'm saying? Just for science. We want to see how their body reacts to space. So we're sending Jason Williams up? And he's elbow passing to other astronauts? Dude, imagine the passes he could do in zero Gs. Bro. But that looks, come on. If we get to unlock Jason Williams on the moon, that'd be so sick. That looks like a sperm going to an egg kind of. That's true. That is true. Dude, this is crazy. So that's a picture some guy just took on his iPhone? One of the female astronauts took that.

1:47:55Probably her man being like, where are you? And he's like, bullshit. Yeah, she goes, space, I told you. And then she sends that back. Uh-huh. Prove it. It's a nightclub. I've been there. yeah didn't speaking of space and wiggas and everything what that's a crazy statement that sounds like a comics unleashed segue speaking of wiggas in space that's so Byron Allen he'd be like tell me about that he'd be like oh sorry your mother died what else is going on with you Tommy and it was just like keep it moving there's an art to it congrats to Byron Allen they got that new time slot so yeah good for comics unleashed to give a lot of screen time to younger comics and stuff.

1:48:40More people to see it. And establish one too. They've done a lot of that for people. Yeah, and since we're on the subject of space and Wiggas, they just had a marriage proposal. It's a gender reveal. Oh, I'm sorry. Yeah, this is a gender reveal. No matter what gender, that baby's going to be mixed. That's just Wiganomics, homie.

1:49:07What if they do an ultrasound and the baby's like... He's just like his dad. Pop, lock, and drop it. He's sea-walking in the womb.

1:49:19Dude, yeah, they don't... Wiggers was everything when I was a kid, man. I mean, I feel like you used to be able to say it freely. Some people get tense about, like, are you allowed... To say Wiggers? Is it still... Can we? Is it back? Yeah, it's back. They never left? Dude, half the NBA. Hmm. I feel like they're Euro though We used to have Well bring up a couple Euro wiggers if you can Is that the new term? I guess it is I mean that's a great question Who is kind of a Euro A Euro dub I feel like they're mostly Euro dubs You think? We used to have homegrown dubs Yeah Now we have these foreigners Did they have a lot of dubs up there in Seattle?

1:50:01Seattle Every middle school has some dubs but they're not real dubs. We thought that rain up there, a lot of damp dubs, huh? There's some damp dubs. You know, it's funny. University I went to, UW. University of Washington. Dub nation, dude. Panics, bro. If you're a Wigga, how can you even get married? Like you're already married to the streets, I feel like. That's a good point. Maybe it's like polyamory. Like are you open to an open relationship? It'll be you in the streets? will you share me with the streets that's an open minded oh I left the trenches to get you and let's go back together oh I love that idea it's almost like that movie with Robin Williams which one what dreams may come you say what dreams what dreams may come what dreams may come dude of course they may bro there's nothing kind of shadier though in like like there's nothing kind of shadier when you get wet dreamed or whatever by God or whatever because it's like it's like sometimes you like especially if you're going through a time period where you do not want to be ejaculating or whatever and then God like wet dreams you or whatever and you're like oh damn it's kind of a gift it's like thank you kind of dude oh we had one of our previous producers this kid Riley Mao he used to pray that God would touch him in his sleep so he'd be able to because he didn't have any he'd never ejaculated and would God answer?

1:51:36yeah he said he would but that shit was just damn like you ever have it happen where you're like not at home and like now this is tricky that's not ideal like an away game like when you're sleeping somewhere away like when you're a kid and like you're somebody else's house you're like this is no now you're like Dexter I only like how do I get rid of this or am I just crusty do I just have drywall I only come local bro that's me but you have no control over your brain sometimes it does it you would never have it happen I don't think so I wet the bed at a lot of people's homes I wet the bed I almost feel like that's more acceptable it kind of is which is crazy and it's way more liquid yeah it's kind of crazy how if you wet the bed at somebody's house they're like that's fine let's help you out but you ejaculate in your sleep at somebody's house and they're like oh Get out.

1:52:29You go, I could have wet the bed. Yeah, yeah. Damn, that's different, dude. What else we got? What's popping, guys? Some of the robots. I love that robot dog in the Atlanta apartment complex. Oh, yeah, let's see that, dude. Yeah, especially since you worked in tech, bro. Let's get your viewpoint on some of this tech, dude. Oh, did you ever get to meet Bill Gates? No. What if I was like, I was at Epstein Island, and I got to meet him briefly. I was trying to ask him about windows, but he said he had to get to a room. I thought that was odd. I was trying to troubleshoot my Dell PC. Did you ever hear rumors about him or anything?

1:53:05Like, what was he like? No, I mean, I had no idea. I feel like a lot of those files, you're like, what? This person? Who would think that Bill Gates is doing, you know what I mean? Yeah. Did you have any idea? Yeah, I think money, you know, you get so much power. I can understand why these people, but like, nobody would throw a dart and think it would hit Bill Gates. That he would be involved in some of that? Yeah, when I was a kid in the 90s, this guy talking about windows, think he's going to be on a Epstein Island. And it's crazy to think how they made everybody, like Michael Jackson is a pedophile or whatever, right?

1:53:39Any who may or may not have been, we don't know. But there's also evidence out there that he was getting with a lot of women. Right. Mike Tyson. Mike Tyson will attest. Here's Bill Gates right here. Let's see what happens. Oh, yeah. He jumped over a chair. Why did he do it? Just to show that he could do it. This was impressive back in the 90s. He's hitting on Connie Chung. She's married to Maury Povich, right? This fucking Chung jumper. Jump for Chung, dude. That'd be a good Asian Olympic thing, wouldn't it be? Jump for Chung and it's a fundraiser? Right, for the family? People jump as far as they can for Connie Chung?

1:54:19I would jump. Jump for Chung. How much money do you think we could raise for that? Oh, dude.

1:54:26Have you seen some of this tech since you're a tech guy dude and you worked there for so long? It's so funny, I'm the resident expert and you just anointed me as the resident expert and I'm kinda dumb. Let's take a ganner at this dude. Now they got the motherfucking robot doll in the motherfucking hood patrolling apartment. What the fuck type of A-Yah shit is it? What the fuck? He look like he finna bite your ass. Excuse me. Good evening. Hello? Oh, baby, they what? How are you? Where are you at? I'm good. So, what y 'all got this robot dog in here for? To watch the people so they don't take...

1:55:12I'm sorry. So, we're actually like the robotic security dog here. So, what y 'all got to tell us? It's an alien. Everything is being monitored and recorded. Hi. Hi. Dude, a lot of Blackpawks, they didn't want you to say what's up to them, bro. Once they said hi, bro, everybody was chill, you know? What if the robot dapped him up and stuff? Oh, shit. The robot's wearing, like, a couple chains and shit next week? Dude, they're going to fucking fix that thing up. Popping, bro. They're going to get that thing in a little suit. It's going to look like fucking LaVelle Crawford in a month. That bitch is going to be dope as hell, bro.

1:55:52They're going to get that thing popping, bro. It's going to be beautiful. That's crazy. What do you think? I don't know if I could be a cop, man. I don't know if I could be a dog. Like a cop dog? I want to be a dog that lives outdoors. Those old school dogs. When I was growing up, they had dogs that lived outdoors. I remember the first time I ever saw a dog that lived indoors, I went to my buddy's house, and a dog came around the corner. We were inside, and I was like, whoa. It was like a blonde dog. It was beautiful. It looked like Susan, Suzanne Somers. Remember her? Oh yeah. Oh beautiful. Thigh master.

1:56:28Yes. I mean, just fucking beautiful. This thing came around and it lived inside and I could not even believe it. I couldn't, it blew my mind. I was like, you gotta be kidding me, but it was so beautiful. It deserves to live inside, right? Like I'd seen a lot of dogs that hadn't had missing teeth, missing fucking eyebrows or whatever, missing all kinds of shit, you know, just dogs that we had a dog that could have and go forward or whatever that bitch was always. So he'd fucking, he was something, his shoulders, his front shoulders were calcified or whatever. And so he had to fucking, so we had to go backwards.

1:57:05It was like, damn this motherfucker. But he would still get you, you know what I'm saying? So that'd be crazy. At first you'd be like, this motherfucker ain't getting me. But then, bro, two minutes later, he'd have you fucking cornered somewhere, bro, with his asshole. He'd have you cornered with his dang asshole. And you still hear his voice, but it's going the other way, bro. And that's the kind of shit I grew up around, bro. But yeah, what do you think, man? You think you could be a dog? You think you could be a cop? I don't know if I could be a cop. If you were a dancing cop, though, Bim. Well, now you've sweetened the deal.

1:57:35You buried the lead, man. Maybe that could be a way to recruit a lot of people who normally wouldn't be cops. You lead with dancing. You might get some Broadway folk in there. You might get me. Can I, like, twirl when I apprehend you? You can do whatever you want I think if there's a cool way to hit the cops To hit the cuffs on them You know Like what song do you want to listen to while you get arrested That sort of thing you know Do they choose or do I get to choose I think you guys each get one It could be like Miranda right So you could choose whatever song you want played while I arrest you And they go to their Spotify And then while they're slammed against the car It's like a Kendrick track It makes the experience better Right Yeah, it's just a mystical.

1:58:19Keep bumping me against the wall. Watch yourself. I came here with a knife in my hand. Be cool. What was his biggest song, Mystical? Did I do that? No. That was Urkel. Danger. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But Mystical, I think he sampled that in his song. Shake your ass. Yeah, shake your ass. Watch yourself. Watch yourself. Shake your ass. Show me what you're working with. He was one of a kind, bro. He was cousins with Master P? Yeah, they was something. Black people love to be cousins, bro. This is true. You know what I'm talking about? They do. Brothers as well and sisters. White people don't love it as much to be cousins.

1:58:57Black people. That's a good point. Yeah, cousin is an umbrella term. Yeah. But I feel like even like Afghans will use cousin loosely. Really? Because sometimes there's a family friend that's so close that just saying friend doesn't quite describe it. And then cousin is almost like honorary cousin. Yeah. That's fair. and your family changes as you get older. It's like people will come into your life and they really represent a lot of like something that's very meaningful, like a meaningful connection, you know? Yeah. So sometimes friend isn't really, doesn't really do it justice and then sometimes those people kind of leave, you know?

1:59:30Right. If you grew up with someone from the age of four and you still know them, I almost feel like they feel more like a cousin than just a friend. Yeah. Yeah. That's kind of cool. Tell them like you've been upgraded to cuz. Yeah. They get like a text, an automatic text. Ding. Um, yeah, what was I going to ask? What is this about? Oh, yeah. The PSA and the weed thing.

1:59:57It's yours? No, I'm just... Your mother's head, she found it in your closet. I don't know. One of the guys must... The rest of what? Look, Daddy, why... Where did you get it? Daddy... Answer me. Who taught you how to do this stuff? You, all right? I learned it by watching you. Parents who use drugs have children who use drugs. And to think years later, our own country would be forcing us into drug use, you know, and profiting off of it. Like, just kind of crazy. Yeah, it's got to be in a pill form, though. It's got to bottle it up. But dude, that was crazy. That was hard hitting. Yeah, back in the day.

2:00:40Or when they had the thing year of high school. Remember when they had the don't die like this? And it'd be like, they always did it around Halloween because they had extra blood in the area or whatever. and they would somebody like hanging out of a burning car and they'd set the back of the car on fire and it would all happen like out on the football field and you'd have to go watch it yeah just sort of like a scared straight they would make an accident scene and be like this could be you it's kind of gruesome we probably shouldn't have been seeing that that young of course not it was crazy and then they'd always hide a bag of coke on a kid or something and let that drug dog go find it and people were like oh shit William got coke on him and then for the rest of his life, people would be like, damn, William got coke on him, bro.

2:01:22Yeah, just to make an example out of a kid, even though he never did it. Just ruin his life. You don't want to be like Daniel, huh? I know, Daniel got that bait. It's so sad watching these videos, because our childhood is in 360p. That was two pixels. I know. That was just two blocks. It's so sad. If you're dating a younger chick or whatever, you go, oh, check out these highlights of Sean Kemp dunking, and it's 360p. It's so grainy. our childhood isn't in high def like these kids today but it was clear to us back then that's what's crazy bro I feel like it was just hard to get the fidelity of it didn't look this bad back then did it it had to have what do you think happened VHS isn't great but I feel like it's better than I think broadcast TV is a higher resolution and they couldn't translate it to digital yeah your new special that's coming out Intrusive Thought Truths of thoughts, yeah.

2:02:19This is your third special? It's my fourth, I think. Yeah, it's my fourth special. Damn. Well, I'm at the point now where you kind of tour for a year, and then you got to hang the painting somewhere. You kind of get it tight from city to city, and then you got to, I'm done with these jokes. Yeah. You got to film it, and then put it out there, and then move on. So it's less about putting a special out, and like, I'm huge. That used to be the thing back in the day. Yeah, it made you feel some type of way. Now it's like almost just like closing the diary. It's a picture. It's a stand-up picture. This was me for the past year when I was on tour.

2:02:53Here are the jokes. Because everything is so clip-based. Because everything is, sorry, can I like fix this? I'm like garbling the shit. Yeah, dude, you're fine. Also, everybody's retarded. Thank you. Thank you. The fact you've put together like 11 sentences is way better than most of us in the world are doing, dude. Because everything is so clip-based. And that's great. but it's nice to show that you can do a cohesive 45 to an hour. It's sort of the difference between breaking a vase into a million pieces, but I'd like to see the whole vase. This is what I was doing on the road. Here it is. And hopefully people like it.

2:03:27I want them to watch it, but now I get to move on and that's kind of nice. You just dump all those jokes from your head and then who am I now? And let's talk about that. Yeah, dude. Intrusive thoughts. That's awesome. And where can people watch it right now? Is it going to be on YouTube? Yeah, Yeah, it'll be on my YouTube channel. And will people be able to pay there for it too? If they want, you know, but honestly, just a super thanks, a thumbs up, comment, share it with a friend. I just want people to see it. That'd be the best. Awesome, dude. Yeah, send me a clip that you really like or something that you want, or if there's someone that I can help reshare or something, or if there's some stuff on TikTok, let me know.

2:03:59Okay. Yeah, definitely. You will let me know? Yeah, I'll let you know. Yeah. And thanks for being so supportive, man. Taking me on the road, having me on this pod to get the word out on the special. It means a lot to me, man. Oh, thanks, dude. I appreciate it, man. I have one other question I wanted to ask you. Like, I feel like in my lifetime, like, a lot of people that are from the Middle East have gotten, like, a bad rap, like, in— Or they've gotten negatively—possibly negatively, like, branded by media, kind of. when I say that does that because you always hear stuff like um you know these people are jihadists or these people are like even the term muslim to some people makes it seem like that that person is like a person with a bomb or like um do you think that that's a real thing that's happened um and then uh and then what can you say like about like people from that like do you think people from some of those areas like hate america or like maybe don't have to go that far but just It's like, can you take me – if I say that kind of stuff, does it make you think anything?

2:05:06I mean you're not far off in terms of the branding of Muslims over the past couple of years, especially post 9-11. You felt it if you were that. Yeah, y 'all took the L for that, huh? Yeah, for a while. Did y 'all do it? I think we took the L. Inadvertently, just Muslims in America. But did you guys do it, do you think? Or did – sorry. That'd be funny. This whole podcast is leading up to, did you do 9-11? I'm like, yo, you know me. You brought me up in the store You know I didn't do 9-11, Theo You're right, my bad, dude This has just been like a honey trap the whole time Just to get to this Yeah, sorry, dude I gave Candace my remote control She's got me today No, no, but do you What is that like?

2:05:50Even having any Your parents are from the Middle East Your parents are from Afghanistan What is that like? I don't know I had this joke about it back in the day How can we change it if it's not true? Like if some of that's like, I don't know. I feel like it's not, I don't know. I think it is changing. With the internet and social media, you can't paint people with these broad strokes that you used to back in the day because there was only certain channels that you can get information from and it can be controlled very easily. And people would just buy into a narrative that like, be scared of Muslims, be scared of Latinos, be scared of, but then there's TikTok and there's all these, there's so much information now that people can form their own opinions.

2:06:30but yeah it was dicey for a while because every time there was a you know nine post 9 11 the temperature was if you happen to be that you felt it you know when i would fly i would be secondary search and i grew up a boy meets world in tgif i'm just as american i watched uh saved by the bell but you just happen to look a certain way or and there's nothing you could do about it um I always say it's, I used to have this joke where it's being a minority is kind of like having an away jersey you can never take off. That's kind of what it feels like. Because I'm sure people, Americans, white Americans have been to, say you're a Rams fan.

2:07:14And then you go to, I don't know who their rival is. Probably Seahawks. All right. Yeah. Then you go to a Seahawks game in your Rams jersey. You're going to get some flack. But you're still you. You're still Doug. You're a nice guy. You're Doug from accounting and they're spitting on you. And you go, nah, I just, I like, I just happen to be wearing this Ray. I can't take it off. It's bolted on. It should be a saw movie. Just, you can't take the Rams Jersey off at your rival team and they just beat the shit out of you. So you're just a human and a pure soul and all that, but you happen to have this coding that gets taken a certain way.

2:07:51So I don't know, maybe, maybe that's how I perceive it. Yeah. Yeah. I think I'm just curious about that sometimes. And then, yeah, did the, does it feel like the media like made it like these people are bad people kind of, it's definitely a tool. I think it's leverage for some agenda sometimes. Um, but my, I don't automatically just need your, go to, go to that. Yeah. Yeah. You're right. I think people have, are generally pretty nice people. And, but yeah, for sure. Yeah. I'm just kind of curious. Cause sometimes you just like, you start to think like, I think you look back at the world, like your lifetime.

2:08:23You're like, what things are like, did we land on the moon what things really happened i think a lot of people are in like a serious the most space i've ever seen in my life like people are coming up to me and like movie theaters and shit and fucking like asking me about shit about fucking uh nepal or like um to bed or whatever it's like well we all have to be experts now it's great there's just so much information and then we're learning we've been lied to in so many instances and then you go if you'll go down a rabbit hole. Right, it's like, if this, then that's the thing. And then you keep on, you see this tweet, you see this video, you see this TikTok, and then the Epstein stuff is still going, and then Allbirds going AI, and then this shorting the stock and all that stuff, what's going on, these timed things with the stock market, your brain gets overloaded.

2:09:13There's so much, how can I know? These get paralyzed, but. Yeah, and then you try to calm down, and then you fucking, It's hard to get away from the intrusive thoughts, dude. It's true, man. Well, full circle. Full circle. Fahim, dude, thanks so much, bro. Yeah, I hope you just continue to obviously do what you were obviously built to do, bro. There's nobody that does it like you. Yeah, I hope people love the new special Intrusive Thoughts. Thank you, man. And we'll make sure to share stuff about it. And yeah, just thanks for your patience, dude. I appreciate it. Oh, of course, man. Yeah, anytime.

2:09:45Thank you for having me. I'm glad we got to do it. This is fun, dude. Sorry if I talked about too much serious. No, not at all. You know Just trying to be alive For sure Doing our best You know Yeah While they let us bro BLM dude Now I'm just floating On the breeze And I feel I'm falling Like these leaves I must be Cornerstone Oh But when I reach That ground I'll share this Peace of mind I found I can feel it In my bones But it's gonna take