#668 - Cristina Mariani

27:50Dear God. How does that go? Bring up the lyrics to it. Lock up the wolves. Okay. It was like a metal song? Yes. That makes sense. Bring up that Lock of the Wolves, Rodney James. That's Dio right there. In the house of the holy to the middle of the mystic sea at the cradle of the world, there's a black cat screaming and it's not even midnight. No. At the cradle of the world, they're screaming for sanctuary. They're screaming at you. Lock up the wolves. Lock up the wolves. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Does that seem like a period? Totally, yeah. Except you want the wolves to get out of you. Get away, wolves.

28:30Get out. I'm tired of these demons, you know. Enough wolves, enough. Get out of my cat, you know, speaking of cats.

28:44Meow Because it hurts too Oh dang Yeah I gotta think I sometimes gotta remember that Is it crazy if you approach a woman and ask her where she's at In that sort of cycle pattern Is that Do women feel like they don't I'm sorry Some of this stuff feels like I'm just like Because I'm a girl you're asking about periods Is that what you feel like Yeah I just feel like it seems kind of cheesy And I don't mean to do it like that I just don't ever get to talk about it And somehow we ended up talking about it It's okay. I wouldn't overthink it. Okay, thanks. It's like, this is what I would be like if I was about to get my period.

29:15I would get in my head about, oh my God. I would still be thinking about the mullet comment earlier. Oh, yeah. And I wouldn't be able to be present. I think my whole life I've been about to get my period probably. Well, you're a guy. So yeah, exactly. Dude, think about it. If you're a guy, you never even get to have your period. You just have to do all the other shit the whole time. You're on your period the whole time if you're a guy. Oh, you are? Yeah, that's like us on our periods is closest to a guy, just baseline. Well, what if a guy hugs you while you're on your, like when you're writing that baseline, is that like almost like a gay moment?

29:45I wonder. Maybe, maybe that's why it's like, you know, if you're straight, you're just like, no. Get away from me, buddy. Yeah. You only kind of want to be around. Like, I don't know if you actually, I don't really want to be around anyone. Huh? Going around my period time. Yeah. I just wonder if we all should be wearing some sort of thing that tells how we're doing. So people would know when we get approached, not even ovularly. Yeah. You can't tell though Like people's vibe right away Like oh They're not Having a good day today Yeah I think sometimes you can But sometimes I think There's a little of you don't know I met a girl at the gym today And she um I could tell she was Something was a little bit uncomfortable But I didn't know what it was But then I just said Yeah what's What's going on you know You seem like you're just maybe Having like a You're thinking about something Maybe like Cause she was like at the gym Trying to work out And you went up and hit on her I don't know Like what's going on It can't be that I'm interrupting you working out.

30:43I don't know. I mean, that can't be it. That could have been a small part of it. You know what I mean? She's there trying to like meet her goal and you're like, so, so baby, which hat? Which hat? Do you think what? You're not enjoying this? Hey, can I ask you about your period? Are you on it? Oh my God. dude. Well, why didn't somebody tell me that there's something this wrong with me? I don't know. Hey, you like my hat? Hey, which one? She's like, I'm trying to bench twenties or whatever. I don't know. Please.

31:25But I don't know. Maybe not. Maybe that wasn't it. It could have been something else. It could have been anything. It could have been anything. Right now, get up to 15 % off select storage solutions. Put heavy-duty HDX totes to good use, protecting what's important to you. The solid, impact-resistant design prevents cracking, and the clear base and sides make items easy to find even when the totes are stacked. Find select shelving and tote storage up to 15 % off at the Home Depot to organize every room in your home, from your garage to your attic. Visit homedepot.com, how doers get more done. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp.

32:06Yeah, we talk about mental health more openly now. Hell, heck, sometimes it's all anybody talks about. You'll be like, hey, how was the game? And people will be like, I'm not doing good. But asking, actually asking for help can still feel hard. And BetterHelp's latest research confirms it. BetterHelp's 2026 State of Stigma report surveyed 2 ,000 Americans and revealed that 85 % of Americans believe getting support is wise, yet 74 % say society discourages people from doing so. Cut out the noise and do what's right for your own well-being. BetterHelp can help. With over 30 ,000 therapists, BetterHelp is the world's largest online therapy platform, having served over 6 million people globally.

32:59And they do the initial matching work for you so you can focus on your therapy goals. Don't let stigma stand in the way of support. Start therapy with BetterHelp. Sign up and get 10 % off at BetterHelp.com slash Theo. That's betterhelp.com slash Theo. What does the$7 big deal meal get you at Sonic? The real question is, what doesn't it get you? For just$7, you score a classic Sonic cheeseburger, medium fries or tots, a medium drink plus premium chicken bites. Yeah, that's not a snack. That's not a just grab something real quick. That's a full meal. And then some. You know what I'm talking about.

33:54I'm talking burger in one hand, tots in the other. Chicken bites just hanging out like, yeah, we can't too. Squat up. Squat up. Only thing it doesn't get you is a bigger dashboard in your car to hold your$7 spread. But that's what cup holders are for. We've all done it. Enjoy a full meal plus premium chicken bites for just$7 only at Sonic. Live free. Eat Sonic. Christina Mariani, good to see you today. Nice to see you too. You're so funny. Thanks for coming by. Yeah. Thanks for having me. You grew up in Stockton. Take me just so our audience knows because some of our audience knows you. A lot of it does, but some of them might not.

34:47Okay. Yeah. And so take me through a little bit of that if you don't mind. Okay. So I was born in Lodi, California, but just born there. Then I lived in Stockton until I was like four or five. And then I moved to Italy. And then I moved back after a few years. I moved back when I was 11. And do you remember being Italian over there? Oh, yeah, totally. Really? Yeah, yeah. I mean, 6 through 11, you remember things, you know? Oh, wow, yeah. Yeah. And the Romans, are they Romans? Some of them. Not all of them. The ones in Rome are Romans. And then the ones in Tuscany are just Italians, you know? And how was it like being an Italian child?

35:31You know, the kids are a lot more brutal in Italy. They're like wild animals. they'll just like beat you up you know here in america they're like mean with their words you know and like they're more psychological about it but in italy they just are mean or they just beat the shit out of you really yeah i remember when i first moved there me and my sister went to a birthday party and i think because we you know we're new um yeah all the kids started chasing us around and trying to beat the shit out of us and at first we thought it was like hide and seek or like tag like a kid game yeah and then we were just hiding like we were like really got really good at hide and seek we were hiding under the table we were calling our mom like please come get us but like in italian because it was in italy you know yeah but um so there was a level of like so they got the italians well they're very handsy well that's the thing so i guess it goes like even if it's violence or love or something like that that's True.

36:28Yeah, I guess so. They're very gesticular. You know, they use their hands when they talk. Yeah, totally. And when they, I guess, do violence or whatever. Yeah. Yeah. Did it feel romantic? Do you think people romanticize? Like, do you ever romanticize? Getting beat up? All the time. You mean like getting beat up the musical? Getting beat up the musical. My childhood in Italy. The musical. It's just me getting beat up for four years. but do you ever kind of like yeah do you ever like i don't know i guess i wondered if i because i like i'll like romanticize or like kind of like make something seem greater that was a long time ago just because right like what for example like the past was better you know but what's in something it could be just like um like when i was a kid if you wanted to know if somebody was at home you had to go over there and see if they were at home right okay like now you can have your mom text or you could text or send it, uh, uh, just hit them in the chat or whatever.

37:30But now, but then you had to walk over there and you kind of get a clue. Sometimes their cars would be there. Car wouldn't be there. Sometimes maybe one of the parents would be home and they'd be home sick or whatever. And you'd even just try to go in and play anyway. Like, but you know, but you had to go over there and so you had to create this, like, you know, it was kind of like a little bit of, sometimes you'd be too nervous to go ask you to just go staying there like i remember standing by my friend's door for like 10 or 15 minutes until one of his parents or somebody just came out or came by like what are you doing here you just stand there you're committed yeah i'm like i'm waiting is william home you know yeah yeah and you're like he's not home he's out of town or whatever but you know so i think something like that does that make sense you think yeah so like you but i romanticize it was tougher for you know kids had to do this sort of thing it's kind of a bad example i guess so that's not romanticizing if you're thinking it was worse or you think it was better.

38:20I thought it was better because it challenged you a little bit more. You had to actually go. It was just like, I don't know, things seemed a little bit more like you had to go and have an actual human experience to get a little bit of information. Yeah. I mean. That's what I mean, I guess. No, yeah, I get what you're saying. I feel like everybody says like social media and like just how much access we have to the internet is killing human connection. And I was thinking about it. And I think it's killing like the small talk of human connection, you know? Now you can't like, you already know what they did like superficially.

38:54Now when you see them, you have to like talk about your mental problems, you know? Like, okay, I saw that you had a salad for lunch and you're going through a divorce. Tell me how you're feeling. Yeah, like show me your croutons. Yeah, exactly. It's like now I know all the boring stuff. Yeah, I'm trying to think of some things maybe that I romanticize. But is romanticizing healthy, do you think? Is that the word? Am I using the right word? Yeah. I mean, I feel like if you romanticize something, you're painting it with rose colored glasses. Right. That's what I'm saying. It's not exactly like romantic, but it just means you're looking back on something fondly, even though that may not have been the way it was.

39:28But what was the way it was? Isn't it better to romanticize everything then? So that way you're like looking back at your life all romantical. Cause like, what's the alternative? Like even last week or something you mean? Yeah. Even yesterday, even this morning at the gym, you know, with the girl, you could romanticize. With the harassment you mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. you could romanticize that you could be like it was unrequited love you know yeah it was and uh eventually the universe will bring you guys together in a more appropriate setting you know you know what those videos that are the wildest to see uh those reels bro some reels it's like it's too much it's like um 90 of your shower water is chemicals have you seen those reels it's like oh yeah the ones that try to sell you the filters yes yeah i've gotten one oh yeah i got one I believe them I'm really gullible I'm a sucker for marketing do you know how many best bloody marys in the world I've had so many really because they always say they're the best and I'm like I gotta see this for myself you know and I believe them why are they lying you know they're never the best they're not even close yeah yeah anyway sorry keep going no that's good but they're all those things are like that it's like uh did you know that your grandmother has forever chemicals in her you know it's like hugging your grandmother in the summer again that's a no-no it's like it It's just like shit that's like, what?

40:42Like we can't even hug our grandmothers now. It's like, oh, the forever chemicals that Nana has, you'll never get out of your arms, you know? Well, if it was your Nana, it was still Phyllis. That's what the chemical is. Because she's a whore. I'm sorry. That's a callback from earlier. That's fair. But I haven't heard that about hugging your grandma. Is that actually something that's like a... No, but it's just these things that you see. it's like nosebleeds must be a f*** or whatever you know it's like it every reel is just something it's almost like it's just this bot that's making up two things and putting them together i feel like it is a lot of them it is bots that are doing stuff like that you know and then it's just like you hope and then it attaches some sort of thing like that's a product you know what i'm saying it's like nosebleeds must be a f*** huh time to get some roller skates you know or you know time to get this new uh time to get this new set of ice trays or whatever you know yeah so it's like two things that aren't related at all but they somehow make it work for the marketing yeah and they just and it it makes so many of them that it doesn't even care dude like all it cares in the end is if you buy something right um one of the craziest things that i see on ai all the time i don't know if it's ai but that i see on uh that's reels a lot is the um have you seen the one it's like if your husband is in Wilmington, Kentucky and you think he's here on a business trip, thank again, baby girl.

42:14Have you seen those? Damn. No. See if you can pull up one of those for me, guys. It sounds like they prey on people's fears most of the time. Yes. This is a fear thing. Well, yeah. That's because like people respond to fear. That's like, so if they make it seem urgent, like, oh, this is going to happen. You know, your grandma's going to get. cancer if you don't buy I don't know Splenda right yeah something like that where it's like oh man I don't want grandma to die I don't want it to be my fault yeah I feel like they use that here's one yeah what is this one your name is Meredith and you live in Nashville Tennessee and you're dating Kevin and he works at a car dealership run he's not just test driving cars baby run I see these all the time Well, that's not even trying to sell something.

43:04Do you think they're just being nice or do you think they're being shit stirrers? That's what I just, no, there's just so much everything out there. I just think it is, it's about fear. Like you just said, it's like everything out there. It's like, it's just creating like, oh my God, you know? I mean, this guy's a snitch or whatever, which is fine, I guess. But I guess maybe he's a good snitch. Or maybe it's not even true. Maybe he was just like, people are going to find, you know, that he just fabricated it. I always believe them though. I'm always like, oh shit, poor Meredith. You know, I always, I'm like.

43:32I'll comment sometimes. I'm like, prayers for mayor. You know? I'll put that in there a lot, dude. But yeah, I don't know. There's just so much shit that's out there, I feel like. And it's, I don't know. Sometimes it's fun to figure out if it's entertaining to me or if it's just kind of like I need to stay away from it. So, okay, so you grew up until 11 in Italy, and then you moved to where? And then I moved to Stockton again. Wow. We moved back, yeah. Did you ever see Nate Diaz over there? No, you know, I feel like every time I've been on Kill Tony Tony always asks me that No no no it's okay That's the only thing Stockton's really known for I think I don't think it's really nobody There's nothing else going on there No I never have How would you describe Stockton then as What would you say about it Because there's probably a lot of great things about it I know there's a lot of missing people up there Crime is a big one What else do I have I know there's cigarettes I know The Kings the kings yeah no that's in sacramento oh sacramento wait is there a kings in stockton no basketball sacramento oh yeah yeah right yeah so tell me the boomer about stockton then um i mean you kind of nailed it i think that was pretty much it i'm i liked it though i think when you grow up somewhere you think that's your baseline i think it's better to grow up somewhere that's not that great because then as i've moved around places everywhere else has been way better you know interesting yeah so um my baseline is low for where i lived because if you live somewhere like really pretty like um i don't know aspen then everywhere else you're going to be like or australia like you can you imagine and then you move to stockton but i guess i went from italy to stockton but i don't know that's a crazy push yeah it was a lot different for sure i lived in the mountains it was like in an isolated town in italy in italy yeah there's like 300 people corfino Nobody even knows about it I feel like When you look it up on Google It used to say human settlement It didn't even say town or village Wow that's it?

45:33Yep Oh my gosh Nope it's not See they always think it's in Abruzzo No it's in Tuscany It's in Tuscany man Yeah this is wrong It's in Tuscany man That's how tiny it is It always brings up that one It's an imposter 300 people live there oh my god oh my but as a kid that was awesome it's a perfect amount yeah we the whole town was basically like we could play hide and seek in which was good for me yeah with the violence do you remember leaving it uh not really um it was really sudden our house is still like when i go visit yeah it's still my house my room when i was like nine or ten there's still my toys yeah my parents still have the house we grew up in um but it's still like untouched it's like a time capsule yes it's crazy i go back and i was still playing with like barbies and they're still out and it's just there and it's crazy kind of that's wow that's stranger things Dang and so Why did your family move I think my dad He's really ambitious He's always been a real like Project starter and it's just a tiny town And he got stir crazy I think and so he was like I can't do this anymore Then he wanted to move back Yeah I think also just in those Tiny towns you know people are In each other's business all the time and I think he got Sick of that yeah yeah it makes sense to me it makes sense to me too i don't think i would want to live there now i think if i were to live there it'd be when i'm like you know retired it's really pretty you know like i could write up there a book or something you know oh yeah i always romanticize about writing a book somewhere yeah i'll write a book what would you write a book about i would probably write a book just about

47:33I don't know I thought about two guys that aren't married that just keep giving each other shitty advice about like like they keep being each other's like I'm gonna help you find somebody type of thing okay that'd be a funny thing to write about I would write about growing up just people that I knew stories from home things like that things that I thought about things that I think about now I would write a book Maybe a cook Some of it would be words Some of it would be recipes A little bit of that Words and recipes? A book is kind of like a bunch of words Because sometimes I'm reading and I get hungry Sometimes I'm reading a book and I get hungry And I'm like oh I get that It's kind of like watching a movie and then you get hungry It's because your brain is preoccupied And it's nice to do something while you're Right, I want to do two things at once yeah you know yeah but also if you read nor get hungry or you're in a recipe's right there or a movie had a recipe right in the middle of it so you're saying like if um like a recipe movie like oh so it's not like die hard and then in the middle there's just a recipe for some reason yeah it is stops to like yeah it is that okay like that so he stops and he just is like okay let me make some food or like just read the recipe or does he go through with it then he goes back to killing German terrorists.

48:50Oh, now if you could get, that would be cool. If the person in the movie, like Daniel Day-Lewis is suddenly. Yeah, yeah, that's what I mean. Yeah, helping you make like a tuna tartare or something. I think something like that would be pretty wild, you know, or he's helping you make like a bouillabaisse or some kind of, you know, like a nice soup or something, or Coy Spock or Gazpacho or something. Yeah. Or like in Taken, you know, he's looking for his daughter, but he has to eat still. Yeah, and now he's looking for ingredients that is covered.

49:20I used to think of like a bunch of TV shows. I don't think of that many anymore. Have you ever had, did you try to pitch television and stuff? Like once you got into Hollywood, did you try to pitch like, once you got into like entertainment? Oh, I've just been working on some like things, but I had nothing that I'm like comfortable pitching or anything yet, you know? But yeah, I mean, just being creative. It's fun to like explore. Did you have a dream for like a sitcom type of thing? like or did like what was kind of your motivation towards like getting into comedy like there was a time probably before my generation where a lot of people were like I want to get a sitcom you know and then now I think it's been a it's been a little bit more like I want to get a special and I want to get like my generation probably like uh I want to get a special or I want to get a podcast right maybe those things oh but yeah I wonder like yeah was it like what was some of the reason like that like that you kind of got into like being creative like in this way well i guess i've always really liked writing and um being artsy ever since i was a kid and then for a while i kind of neglected that part and you know like when you become a teenager and then college and then i was just kind of lost and how'd you neglect it what do you mean like drugs you went into nursing no no i i think just um you start other things seem to matter more than just being creative you know because like kids start bullying you and then you start worrying about what people think about you and I remember I used to never a lot of things that then I got insecure about I never knew I was just focused on like creating or like drawing or writing and then something like is like oh this matters now like all the social like aspect and then you know you gotta get lost and you got get sidetracked and then when I figured out what I wanted to do after I graduated college I was in insurance and I after a year I wanted to kill myself and I was like how did I end up being in an insurance job and then I started thinking what did I do as a kid that I made me like enjoy life so much and then I kind of started doing that stuff again and then I that plus things that scared me and so then I got into like trying to do comedy because that's something I always like wanted to do but I always was like scared and I thought it wasn't like something you could really do you know um did you see a certain comedian it made you be like that or did you see like it made you think like yeah because sometimes i don't remember if there was a certain comedian i mean maybe chris rock probably or i mean eddie murphy was like the biggest that people would pass from when i was young you know but then it was like uh yeah i don't know i'm trying to think of other ones i mean there was like john caparulo there was like um i'm trying to think it was like a certain comedian that really got me into it one time i just went to a comedy club they gave you free tickets they would call all the time and get free tickets and i've never been to a comedy club i'd seen comedy like uh on television and stuff like that but i'd never seen it live yeah and so i went to a live show and i was like oh my god so this is how it works and like somebody gets up there and they do this and then people laugh and everybody's just like in a room having a good time i was like this is so fascinating i needed that like exact direct proof of like seeing it you know interesting what about you i never had like a comedian that i saw i just always liked to make people laugh for some reason when i was a kid to the point where my mom would get annoyed with me because i wasn't that funny when i was like yeah i would try to make people laugh because for some reason i loved when they laughed at something i say and then i would repeat it over and over again and then my mom would be like, you gotta shut up.

52:55This is fucking annoying. I would always want to make my dad laugh because I felt like I got his approval when he laughed. He was a pretty strict dad, you know? So then when I could make him laugh, he wouldn't laugh at anything, I would feel like. So then that was something too. Like making a black guy laugh, kind of. Kind of, yeah, absolutely. That was my dad. He's the black guy of the family? Yeah, he's the black president father, though. Very much. Oh, yeah. Yeah, like he was there, you know? Different. yeah he was very young yeah

53:30um but uh i forgot what i was saying i'm sorry um oh no yeah so i was i just like to make people laugh always and i like to create and so even when i got into comedy i didn't have like oh i want to get on a tv show or anything i just really liked doing it and i just knew it felt right and And so then I just like to write and get on stage and perform it. And so I've just been kind of like, oh, this, I just love to do this. And I like exploring other avenues too, but this is like the thing I really like to do. Has touring been tougher than you thought? Has it been a good time? Are you enjoying more when you just get to be at home?

54:11I love it. Because you seem to be out there a bit. Yeah, I really like it. I like going to the airport. I like being on a plane. I like being in hotels. I like the whole experience. Really? Yeah, it's like relaxing. I don't know why. Like being on a plane is relaxing. All I got to do is think. I like to just like close my eyes and just think. Will you sleep on the plane sometimes? I can't. I can't sleep, but I'll like get like relaxed, kind of daydream, you know, like and just think about things. Oh, that's probably a good, that's a good call. Yeah, it's nice, you know. Yeah. Oh, yeah, dude. The other day I was on a plane and my friend that was with me, he had to freaking do CPR on somebody.

54:49On the plane? Yeah. What airline? And I was like, it was on Delta. And I was like, dude, do not go do CPR. They're like, does anybody know CPR? And he fucking raises his hand. I'm like, dude, do not go do CPR right now, dude. Because he couldn't do it? Did he like? I didn't know if he could do it. He's like, dude, I can do it. I was like, dude, you cannot do it. He had a couple drinks. I was like, you cannot be, have a couple drinks and do CPR on somebody. But, I mean, yeah what if he threw up in his mouth that would be crazy the other guy's like what if that then brings the guy back and then he throws up and they keep throwing up in each other's mouths but they're both alive at least oh that's romantic so did he do it?

55:36did he give him CPR? and they got the guy going again they got him back up, they puffed him up to almost 200 PSI filled him up that sounds good Dude, one time I told this story before But one time I was at a restaurant It was like a breakfast Breakfast buffet And Magic Johnson was there And somebody started They needed CPR or whatever So this guy like It was at a table, it's like kind of a nice place And so they just kind of bring out one of those You know those folding walls, those Chinese Folding walls or whatever That they bring out like a section or like a section. Like origami? Yeah, it's like a sectional that.

56:19Oh, okay, yeah. Yeah. I think origami's Japanese anyways. Yeah, like a panel thing just to make a little area for something. Okay, okay. They bring one or two of those out and they're just doing CPR behind these little sectionals while all the rest of us are supposed to be eating. And you can hear them hammering away on this dude. They're doing baritone shit on him. and we're all like, when do we eat? Like, cause it's like, cause it's buffet and it's nice. And it was like - On the plane? No, this was off of a plane. Oh, okay. I was picturing this was all on a plane. I was like, there's a buffet on the plane?

56:58No, this was at a hotel. Delta's really stepped up. This was at a hotel. Okay. And so everybody starts looking at Magic Johnson to know when to eat. Cause he just became like, it's weird. Like in a tribe, like somebody kind of becomes the leader. and everybody just looks over at magic johnson we're like all waiting for him to eat and he had like a plate of little sausages i remember and everybody's just waiting for him to have a little sausage so we can all eat it was kind of crazy just like and then they got the guy going they got him popping you know you could hear him kind of gurgling a little bit and popping or something and uh and then he went down again so we all started eating and then everybody was like everybody had to like set their silverware down again and be like okay oh man you know that's that's crazy because um what that story tells me is that no one really cared about how the guy was doing everybody just wanted to eat and then they had to pretend because if not you look like a horrible person but everybody really just wanted to eat because it's like who is this guy and who sent him to ruin our meal that's kind of the vibe that i'm picking up on because if you're worried about hey can we eat you're not caring about the guy dying nobody gave a fuck that sucks dude oh here was the worst part though we kept seeing the dude that had saved because somebody saved him the first time and then that guy had been like pumping too hard he'd been like and i think his tris had worn out or whatever and he said his tris locked up because he had like he'd been overdoing creatine or whatever i guess your arms can lock up if you have too much creatine what it's like the opposite of oiling your joints yeah i think he just because he was over there i mean seven or eight minutes They were over there just looking for oil in this guy, dude.

58:36They were over there pumping him and you could hear him and, you know, and like, everybody's just like, it was almost like everybody's like, yeah. And everybody's just waiting to finish their food, which was getting cold, you know? And it's not like save the guy fast, but it's like, save him or don't save him. I don't say like, dude, I will say this at a certain point, you started to kind of feel like, Hey, this guy's had enough. You know what I'm saying? Like, Hey guys, we all kind of feel like that's enough. like we gave it our best shot the musical it's just it's 40 minutes of cpr yeah so dan they get him popping and then he goes down again it's where he's like fuck fuck fuck you know and i'm like magic johnson help out like you you know go over there and fucking because he's so good at like dribbling it's like just go dribble the guy's fucking you know i'm saying you would think if he just would go over there and just double dribble the guy's heartbeat you know till it I don't know, but that's just me.

59:31He just becomes black. Yeah. He's like, oh shit. And then he gets a heart attack. Bad hearts. Oh, do a lot of black folks have bad hearts? I think so, right? Isn't it like high cholesterol? I think it's they get sugar in their heart. The sugar just goes right to their heart? I'm not sure of that. That sounds insane, but I think they get sugar in their heart because they have a lot of, some black people have too much sugar. Because there's even people stopping them. You'll see people don't have any more sugar. I've seen a couple of black guys in my area. they'll have a shirt on says I can't have sugar.

1:00:00Don't give me sugar. Really? Yeah. Black adults are about 30 to 50 % more likely to die from cardiovascular disease than non-Hispanic white adults. I wonder why. I don't know. Does it say? Yeah, to say why. Can you just ask why at the bottom? And this is on perplexity right here. Social determinants of health. Let me see. Lower income, unemployment, and poverty, increased stress. That makes sense. Unequal access to healthcare. So some, uh, internal and external higher rates of high blood pressure. Dude, you know, what was I thinking about the other day? What was I thinking about? Oh, do you see there was like, I was thinking about AI and just like the truckers that are like, like they won't even have any more, like they will have some autonomous trucks out there.

1:00:48So like self-driving? Yeah. Yeah. And the self-driving stuff kind of gets me a little bit. Have you seen the first time a Waymo sees a gay guy? Have you seen that? No. Oh, that's good. I'm trying to think, see if you guys can find that. But dude, an autonomous truck. And what if some, what if like some lot lizard is parked behind like a, you know, a flying J's or whatever, like it's parked behind like a Buc-ee's or whatever. And some lot lizard just climbs in the cab, you know, like one of those like kind of parking lot escorts or whatever. She climbs in the cab and she's like, what do they even do then?

1:01:18Yeah. I would think they would have the doors locked. So you wouldn't, specifically for lot lizards that like, like to pleasure trucks. I think you got to let them in though. You got to give the truck the full experience. That's true. The truck is probably pissed. Driverless semi. Driverless semi trucks have started running regular semi indeed. Texas. Yeah. Semis from the autonomous truck. Computers and sensors that can see for more than four football fields. The company is starting out with a single self-driving truck and plans to add more by the end of the year. Fuck that dude. That's too much for me.

1:01:57um what was your journey kind of when you got into comedy in the beginning um you said you kind of got it to be creative did you end up feeling did you try other outlets first like did you was there like music or was there well i used to um one thing i was scared of was leaving uh home because i feel like i've just always been just you know my family's really italian really close they don't really like it when you leave you know so i was really nervous to like leave so that was the first thing i did that made me scared was leave and i knew they were gonna get mad at me but i did it anyway and i drove from california to texas and then once i was um and before that i would do things like go to the grand canyon by myself for example and like um like to practice being out on your own yeah or to like practice just um yeah just being by myself and doing things that like I used to feel self-conscious about eating by myself in a restaurant you know so then I started just doing that to get over that feeling embarrassed like just feeling a lot of shame I did a lot of things to get over all these dumb things I feel shame about because I had a lot of guilt and shame I get from growing up I think Catholic and so I would just I started doing a bunch of stuff to get me over that and um just not not care about what people thought anymore because that was i realized that that was keeping me prisoner in my own life and i wasn't able to like live it how i wanted and if i kept doing it i was just gonna wake up one day and be old and be like where the fuck did my life go i didn't even do what i wanted because i was so worried about what everybody else was thinking about me do you know how you kind of got through that moment i can relate to that a lot like recently i started like took a like i finished touring for like a long time and i've been touring for like i don't even know i've probably done half the weekends every year, you know, four days a week for 20 years, maybe, uh, every other week.

1:03:53So not all the time, but I've been touring for a long time. And now there's just like, I have no comedy dates on the books. I don't even have to do it if I don't want to. It's like, you know, I do want to, I'm feeling, but it's like, but for the first time I was like, a little bit of me was like, well, who am I? You know, like, I don't, like, I didn't have, I always kind of define myself, I think by like achievements, like some sort of achievement. And I don't even feel much reward from achievements, but it's just the only way I knew to like have like to define myself for some reason. It's like a measure at least.

1:04:24Yeah. It was just something like, am I okay? Like, am I like, I guess, I guess this means I'm okay. Right. If I'm achieving something that I must be okay. Right. Um, so that, that's just been like such a spot where I'm at. Um, right now, you mean like to, yeah, just recently I've been there. I'm just recently been there and I went and I still like but they record you while you do it like while you're under it so then you can go back and listen to the recording after most of the stuff most of the stuff I was saying was just like am I okay am I okay am I okay it was like this like this voice inside of me just asking this all the time so do you feel like when you achieve things you can you're like okay well I must be doing fine because I did this and this and this but then you feel kind of empty inside because it's more like oh this is just something that everybody gets to see that you did but it's not really about you it's not really necessarily like do you know you're like the things you value do you live with like um doing things like oh i'm nurturing this thing that i value and this thing or is it more like oh this is the goal i need to achieve and then you kind of ignore what you value to get to it no i don't ignore what i value to get to it but i do i don't I think I haven't had like a lot of like strong list of what my values are.

1:05:41I think I have them. I know I have them, but I've never really kind of listed them out. So funny you say that. That's kind of like what I'm working on with this therapist right now is like, well, what are your values? What are your beliefs?

1:05:55And, and, and actually being able to see, okay, well, what I'm doing, does this go towards like honor those? Or is this something that doesn't honor those? Right. Um, so at least to give me more of like a, uh, a map, like kind of a chart of what's going on. Yeah. No, I just think I didn't know any way. Um, I didn't, I never felt like, look at me. I just felt like, well, what's a way that you can know you're okay. And it's like, okay, well, if I have to achieve something, right? Like if I do something then and we get it done and everybody and it seems like everybody thinks it's fine, then it must be fine.

1:06:39You know, I just didn't have any. I didn't have any other. I'd never had a pattern built inside of me. That's like, well, this is really what means something to you and this, you know, does that make any sense? I think so. If I'm understanding it correctly. um so it's kind of like you it doesn't feel almost though like then you're not super present in your life when you're focusing on like okay this is what I got to do and then you're not really like really absorbing every moment and then that gives you so much anxiety because then you get to it and it's like oh well where'd all that time go that I got to this but I didn't even live and now more time has passed and now I got it but to what cost I didn't even like really spend the time enjoying it.

1:07:22Yeah. Oh, dude, it's so crazy. It's like you're reading what I was writing out yesterday. Yeah, that's what this therapist was saying. It's like, well, you have to take time when you have certain things that you're proud of that you recognize that with yourself. Like, hey, man, I'm proud of you. You did a good job or we did a good job or this is neat.

1:07:40And so, yeah, just I never, I don't know. I never, I didn't have a strong other value system. Like, thankfully, I didn't have like a strong immoral value system where I thought like crime or murder or stuff like that was okay. I knew those things, but I didn't have a much other sense of like, um,

1:08:01yeah, I don't know. I guess I just, the only way I knew how to be seen, like, like, I guess if there was some sort of achievement, then I was being seen, I guess, or something. And then that made things kind of okay. But yeah, at a certain point, you're just like, I wasn't even there. I was even there. Yeah, I get it. That's what it felt like. I felt like I got to the end of this touring and I was like, where am I? Who am I? And then you think, but I should have been like really enjoying this the whole time, but I was just in my head thinking about like either being hard on myself or like - That's what it was.

1:08:33That's what it is. And then you're not like being really immersed in it and then it passes you by and it's like, this is a cool thing. Everyone thinks it's a cool thing, but I wasn't even really there. Like if I'm really being honest. Yeah. And it's hard to separate that like wanting to do something just right and being present and just letting yourself exist without worrying about doing it bad, you know, because it's like you still want to be like well represented, but then that's still caring about what other people think. And it's not making you be in the I think about this stuff a lot, too, because I struggle with this stuff, too.

1:09:06Do you? Yeah. Yeah. That's how I can. That's how I can read it. No, as you're saying this, I'm like, damn, that's so crazy. I've had these thoughts too before because you get really in your head. You beat yourself up all the time. Yeah. People are like, dude, you're so hard on yourself. Yeah. It's like, I don't know. I feel that some, but it's like, it's the only way I know how it's like. It doesn't even feel like you're being hard on yourself when you do it. It just feels like you're being realistic and you're being like, well, I'm just not an idiot. And you see people all the time that are like not hard on themselves.

1:09:36And then you're like, well, I don't want to be delusional like that because that's not helping them, you know? so if anything I err on the side of caution and I'm a little bit I see myself in a little bit worse than what probably is true just in case so I can improve from that does that make sense yeah um yeah you know but then but then you get to these milestones and you're like why was I stressed out for so long you know and then somebody will ask you on a podcast like what was your favorite part about touring and you're like fuck I was stressed out the whole time I I don't even, I can't even remember something.

1:10:08Like I, obviously I was doing exactly what I want to be doing, but I was so stressed out. I didn't even like enjoy so much of it. And you're like, fuck. Yeah. It's kind of like you get in like kind of this like paddle ball match with yourself or like this, you get in like this, uh, padel, what do they call it? Ping pong? Yeah. Yeah. You get in like this ping pong match with yourself. But yeah, I think in the end it's like, I don't know. It takes focus to like do certain things. and it does take like a lot of self-monitoring and stuff. Like I grew up with like a lot of self-monitoring, like always kind of monitoring myself.

1:10:43Like, is this okay? Is this okay? Do I seem okay? How do I seem? Am I okay? Where do you think you got that from? I think I just didn't have anybody telling me that anything was okay. So you had to guess kind of? Yeah, so constantly guessing. Like I used to do like things like to soothe myself when I was growing up, like I would rock on my bed all the time as a kid. Like my brother and I's bed were on wheels and they would wake up and the morning they'd be across the room like we would both have like rocked and sometimes they would be like kind of like over by like they were both trying to get out of the room like it was like cars trying to leave um like it'd be like traffic jam yeah traffic jam um i used to walk like step on certain things like monitor where i was walking i used to swallow on both sides of my mouth like uh like bite your cheek kind of yeah yeah do certain things because just to create patterns so some so things would make sense to me in my life like because i think i just didn't And I had no idea if anything made sense.

1:11:34Yeah. And it was harrowing, I think, as a kid, because then you're so – you're just – everything's internal. You're like this sort of like a fish that fucking somebody put on some land. No, I feel like – And let you be alive. I feel like I had most of my existential crises as a kid. I feel like people have them as adults. What is it existentially? Well, just – You guys bring it up just so we can say it because I know we say it all the time. But also maybe that's not the right word for this because I was a kid. but um i just i was just had so many questions as a kid and i i was one of those kids that asked questions to my mom all the time and i'd freak out i get like i throw up sometimes because things didn't make sense like do you know that sounds like a cartoon character sorry no no no but it but it didn't like um like being in space and then black holes and then i'd worry about a black hole forming right next to the earth and my mom wouldn't have the answers i'm like but how do you know but how do you know like that that can't happen and just stuff like that yeah so yeah when i heard i was worried a black hole that the music would be so loud in there in a black hole yeah and i'm like i'm gonna fucking hate that shit that's why i did not want to be an astronaut that's so funny that's so autistic you didn't want to do it for the loud noises well just allow music i'm like i'm gonna fucking call the cops they're gonna come over everybody's gonna get pissed they're gonna make a it's gonna be a world star video or whatever um what an existential crisis is an existential crisis isn't a formal mental health diagnosis.

1:13:00It's a pattern of thoughts and feelings centered on big questions like, who am I? What's my purpose? Does anything really matter? How should I live given that life is fine? Yeah, that's literally what I would think about as a five-year-old. And I remember just seeing other kids playing and stuff and I would just be like, mom, what's, you know, is the world going to end? You know, like just stuff like that. Like, uh. Yeah, I had of worry too early i think i yeah yeah i think me too yeah worried all the time why do you think you had to do it though i didn't i don't know i think i just was curious i think it comes from curiosity isn't curiosity cool like it's like so double-edged sword because curiosity makes us want to create and ask things but then also curiosity is the reason for like i don't know bestiality for example right because it's like it's all coming from like a wonder what if oh yeah that's true bestiality i mean that's why the cat it got killed it's because of that because oh yeah and i want to see that if they do like a mural of that i don't want to see it of a cat if a cat got killed through bestiality i'm out um but sorry i don't know how i got down that train of thought i uh no worries i don't we're talking about being curious and i don't know why i thought i don't think we even know what we're talking about but it's good no no we're talking about like you were making any sense at all?

1:14:23Do you guys think so? I'm following you and I think I know what you're saying. Do you know what I'm saying? I think so. Are you thinking about the girl in the gym? No. Okay. What if this whole time when we were talking that's just what you were thinking about? Oh, no, no, no, no. I wouldn't let my brain just like, I don't let my brain just do that anymore. Like, I'll try to stay locked. I'm happy to be here with you. Sometimes I do that and I catch myself. It's like tabs and then I'm like, okay, don't leave that tab open. Just close that one out so that way I can come back. Yeah, I control the tabs.

1:14:53Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know? Every now and then one of them will get out of hand and I'll have to chase it around the screen and shit. Yeah, it's like you get a virus every once in a while. But I control the tabs. Yeah, it's like a porn pop-up and you're like fuck. Yeah. Yeah. But no worries talking about? We were talking about like as kids just being warriors too soon. Oh, yeah. I think that's it. You just find for some reason concern comes in too soon for a kid. Sometimes. And I don't know why sometimes why that happens i think um when you're a sensitive kid that's part of it like you're sensitive so like but you don't know when you're a kid that you're sensitive everybody else tells you you're sensitive but you don't know what somebody else's experience is and how they're perceiving the world so you only know like oh that really hurt and everybody seems to not feel that but to me it hurt really bad and now i'm being dramatic and i feel it so much or like and then you worry something's wrong with you yeah yeah 100 i always thought i was so weird and i always felt like yeah did you feel like that too oh i felt like my life was kind of a nightmare when i was a kid i'm not getting into like i'm not in like any woe is me shit but shit was kind of a nightmare and so i thought that that the outside is this reflection of me so i must be a nightmare like oh if this because the world just centers around you you're a kid that's all you know so it's like fuck if everything's so fucked up out here then it must be it's a reflection of me i must be fucked up you know and that like i think when you for me realizing that well i think it just like i don't know it makes it it makes a lot of things you're going uphill a lot it's up it's a battle a lot yeah and um i think it's kind of like you know when you get older your taste buds decline i think um when you get older also like you get maybe less sensitive because you get more data and you get more used to like um certain experiences so then things don't feel as intense so you're still sensitive now but probably less than when you were like brand new you know yeah you start to get the hang like no matter what horse you're on you kind of get the hang of how it rides a little bit yeah so i feel like a lot less stressed out now than i did as a kid to be honest i feel like as a kid i was like peak like just everything was overwhelming and too much you know yeah and then i felt like how come everybody else seems to be getting along and i'm so weird and i'm trying to be like them but i'm not they're on to me you know that's what i always felt like i was trying to have to like i didn't always feel that a lot of times i felt like i was having to try to posture to fit in and i didn't really know where i fit in and also sometimes i was kind of glad that i didn't fit into just one place though like i think there was bits of all of that you know um but i do start to recently i start to like uh say thank you god for these things that happened, right?

1:17:34Even if some of them are painful, I can say thank you. Even if something was painful, I can say thank you, God, because that's the only way, right? Even if my family stuff, I can still be very grateful to my mother for having me. I can be very grateful to my father for having me. Instead of sometimes being generally, sometimes I get in the space where I'm generally upset, but I can still find a lot of specific things that I'm have gratitude for. And that gives me like a different position to operate from, you know? For sure. I could sit there and think like, oh, I'm upset at my mom about this or this thing happened or my brother or my boss, whatever.

1:18:13But if I can find some, oh, thank them for this, right? And then that's kind of where I can hang my hat on with them, you know? And if my thoughts start to go down some of these other spaces, I can put up some boundaries and say, I'm not going down those spaces anymore just because it's not the best place for me to be. Does that make any sense? Yeah, 100%. And it comes from self-trust and open-mindedness, and it's a fine line. That's what I've been thinking about, too, because I've been like, is it that I don't trust myself or I'm open-minded? I tell myself I'm open-minded, but is that an excuse to not trust myself?

1:18:45Do you know what I mean? like like um sometimes you want to be open-minded and not think oh i know all the answers because most of the time you don't know all the answers so you look for like you you're open to what people have to say and feedback which is good but then it can go too much to where you don't even listen to what you think and you're you know the gut feeling because with the excuse of oh i'm just being open-minded i don't want to be like i know everything you know does that make any sense so So then sometimes it's like, oh, the measure is if people are liking it. But then if that's the only measure and you're not thinking like in your gut, I'm not proud of that.

1:19:22That's when you end up feeling like, because I've done things where people have liked. But then I've been like, but you know, that doesn't really reflect my values very much. And I don't feel good about it, even though it went viral. I don't know if I really feel good about that. It's almost like you sold out a little bit because you didn't listen to the voice that was like, but is that something you value, even if everyone else likes it? yes that's something i still value there's things that i've put out there like or that are out in the world that i wish sometimes uh i hadn't put in certain like could be a special or this or that but then some of it is i won't even be fair to myself i will hold myself to my older myself when i taped a certain special or something to a certain special only have two specials i will hold myself to when i taped a special or when i put a certain joke out there i'll hold my current self to those to the time at that time.

1:20:10You know what I'm saying? Yep. Like I'll hold the person at that time to my current like way of looking at the world. So that's when I start to realize, man, you're too hard on yourself. You're holding a past self to a current belief. That is like, if you watch somebody do that, that would be, it would be insane to watch somebody do that. So that's when it's bad to romanticize something is when it holds you trapped into it. You think romanticizing is good, but then it's just making a story that's better than the current one. and that's not good. Well, sometimes romanticizing, I think this is interesting because we're kind of bringing it back to that.

1:20:43Sometimes romanticizing is, it's almost a savior way of like, if you really had those moments for the past or those feelings, sometimes maybe you're grateful that your brain romanticizes them. Like maybe if you were trapped in a, if you were like imprisoned for, like as a prisoner of war, but the thing you remember the most is like chats with the guards on a Sunday. Right. Or being able to sit there in peace and meditate. I don't know. Totally. Well, it's like if all the stories in your head are not quite right, why not make them good so that way you have like a good like story? Because if it's all made up anyway, why not make up something fun, you know, instead of like making up something bad?

1:21:33It's all made up. I think. Yeah, dude. Yeah. you're so true. Yeah. I think real, I started, I think I'm, I'm just so funny. I'm like, just like in the past 10 days, like in this place where it's like, I'm realizing a little bit more of the control that, uh, I have over how to frame some of my thoughts and frame some of the ways that I'm looking at things and how kind of off some of it has been, you know? Yeah. And yeah, I guess I'm grateful that I can still kind of learn. And it's definitely a slow process. I don't like to lie. I don't, I don't know every it's like, I like to be where, I don't know.

1:22:05I I like the comfort of the old thoughts and ways, but it's just after a certain point, it doesn't, it's not serving you anymore. Yeah, I feel like it's like, it's like going on a diet or eating healthy, but with your brain. So like when you're like reframing things, expressing gratitude, being present, that's you eating healthy. But every once in a while, you want to dip into the junk food. And that's the, you know, going back and thinking about things that don't even make you feel that good. But for some reason you do it anyway, even though it's not helpful. Because, because why? Like it must be doing something to do that.

1:22:37Right. Yeah. Oh, well, I think for me, Christina, I realized there was a time where I was like, man, sometimes I don't want to leave these old feelings of being sorry for myself or feeling bad or thinking about the sad things. Sometimes I don't want to leave those feelings. Sometimes I would, cause they're the only for at a certain point for years, they were the only friends that I felt like even had like somewhere deep inside of me. It was like, those are the realest things I knew was like how much pain I was in or how I felt or like this level, like a certain level of discomfort. They were like my closest friends.

1:23:10Does it make any sense? Yeah. Like they were the things I felt the most. So to leave them, it almost feels like you're abandoning a big part of yourself, which for in some ways, sometimes you are, you know? And I feel like sometimes it's comfortable to be in that mindset of like, um, pain, because if you start feeling too good, that kind of sets off alarms. It's like, uh-oh, now I have something to lose. But if I can like retreat in the safe place of like, not misery, but like pain, then it's like, well, I was already there and I didn't expect much more, you know? And it's almost like a protective mechanism because it's scary to feel completely good.

1:23:46It's scary to feel like you deserve something. Yeah, that too. Like you, but yeah. It's not, but that's a lie. But that was a lie that I think was stuck in me for a long time. It's scary to feel like I deserve something. Or if I feel like I deserve something, what are other people going to think of that? Yeah. or like oh am I gonna jinx it if I feel I don't know that's kind of like oh I think there's some karma in there something like that yeah too it's like all these like oh I need to like keep putting my making myself smaller so that way I don't lose everything almost or I don't like fuck it up because I'm being like I'm giving myself too much that's not good like I don't know why we feel like there is a nice balance with that though because I think the world like you do want to watch your ego because your ego will also trick you right into thinking that you know you deserve like everything's like you know that there's something more special about you you know it's okay to think that there's something special about you but to think that there's something more like i don't know yeah i don't know um it would yeah but it wouldn't be like that it's like a fine line between ego and like loving yourself the way you love like your sibling or your mom or somebody you know like because like when i see my sister for example i'm like she's amazing she's great she can do whatever she wants and that's not me being like thinking that like some ego driven thing it's just love you know so i think that's towards yourself it feels like ego when you do it towards yourself you know when it's like no but i do that for other people why do i feel guilty doing it for myself it's not like from a place of superiority it should be just love and i think that's the struggle is loving yourself but like keeping yourself in check like not it's the difference it's the difference being like egotistical and loving yourself but it's a hard difference to distinguish i guess but i think thinking about it and seeing it a little bit and having a conversation with it you know like well why do i act this way for like what what do i get out of acting this way or what am i afraid of if i do behave this way and like but but having there's some of that self-conversation i think it's like that's pretty key and some of it can be fun to have some of that conversation um before you go because we gotta stop in a few minutes because they have to they're gonna this is a restaurant and a nightclub and here in Austin Texas it's cute I've never been here you haven't no but I liked it it's a good area yeah it's great we're glad that you're here yeah thank you um what uh when when was the first time your parents came to see you perform and what did they think because obviously you got see me perform they've never come to see me perform really yeah they uh on my end they were they were not happy with me doing comedy for a long time they're okay with it now but they haven't seen me perform yet and um part of it was me too i don't know if i really want my parents to see me perform you know why do you feel like it's your own thing or something i i just i feel like um i can i really care a lot about hurting my parents feelings and like um making disappointing them or doing if i say something that they don't think is quite right.

1:26:43I don't want to get it censored because I know it's going to get in my head, like whatever they think. And I want to be like, when I do comedy, I want to be as honest and real with people and connect with them in the most genuine way I can without feeling like, Oh, I can't talk about this because my dad's going to get mad at me. You know what I mean? Cause then I'm not doing what I'm supposed to be doing. I'm thinking about what somebody else wants me to do. And then I'm not being myself. And then I'm not even doing a good job at that point. Yeah. Then you're wasting everybody's time. Yeah. It's like that's then that defeats the purpose of, uh, but that's something I'm trying to get over too.

1:27:14That's where I don't care about, not in a bad way. I don't care what my parents think, but more in a, like, I'm my own person and I'm going to trust that they love me anyways. If I, you know, like we're no matter what here. Yeah. Yeah. That's it. Wow. Yeah. I forget. I didn't have much relationship with like my parents at that time really. So there wasn't like, I don't have to worry about any of that, but I forget that some people have to worry about like, you know, when your mom first sees you're doing your, some of this stuff and like how that feels. yeah yeah so yeah yeah it's interesting to see like to put that in front of them yeah yeah and i had like you know my they were very involved in my life and very like you know not passive parenting at all they were very so and they raised me a certain way very strict parents you know what's tough yeah yeah so it was very like so it was even hard for me to like move out comfortably without feeling like oh i'm doing something they don't want me to be doing And that gave me a lot of anxiety.

1:28:10And I know it's like, sounds kind of dumb, I guess, because it's not that big of a deal. But to me, it was. No, it's a huge deal. Disappointing someone that loves you. Disappointing your parents that created you. I don't have tattoos because I know that would make them feel bad if I got tattoos, you know? And I guess I don't want them that badly. But I think when your parents are really involved and are really strict, and it's from the best. They love me, you know? but sometimes it makes you like not feel like your own person until you leave for a while and then you're like what do I actually like what do I want to do what do I think yeah you know I don't know I don't want I don't mean to keep going because I know you gotta go but it's okay yeah well it's okay the time limit just happened we didn't know yeah and we've been having a nice time chatting and I think it's like um yeah it's been cool and yeah and that's important stuff and sometimes we talk or like that's unique things but that's real stuff that happens for people it's like yeah I don't want to disappoint but am I being too this and how do I grow and like how do I you know it's like we're all kind of examining the walls to see like you know what the space looks like but yeah I just appreciate your time and yeah we'll have to do it again soon so we can have a we have to talk about some more of this stuff yeah I love talking about it I think about this stuff all the time me too dude oh my god constantly and then the more I think about it I feel insane sometimes I'm like I have nothing figured out it's like they think I figured something out and then I'm like I didn't really though there's sleep there's so much more and then it's like is any of my thoughts even my own sometimes I just go crazy I go down rabbit holes yeah and then I'm like I gotta stop like because I'm just I need to be present then um sometimes I smoke weed so I can get present that helps quiet down the the all the voices that are constantly like just getting high and watching a movie and not trying to predict what happens because that's what I'll do I'm just like nope just go scene by scene and don't try to figure it out just experience it how it's supposed to be experienced you know yeah no experience it how it's supposed to be experienced yeah i mean i think it's what we're all trying to do with life you know um christina mariani thanks so much for hanging out thanks for touring with me some and doing some shows fun yeah super fun thank you for having me on the road with you i did that when i was two years in that was insane experience oh wow that's crazy i forget about that yeah then it went from like doing little rooms to fucking arenas and theaters that was crazy did we do somewhere really cool my brain's bad yeah no we did for me it was really cool it was like a 8 000 person um oh that's awesome yeah you tripped on the stool i remember oh yeah oh yeah oh no uh and uh ari ari was yeah ari was there yeah yeah that was the biggest place that i've done so far i think well um yeah we'll have to do some shows here when i'm in town too because i'm gonna be spending more time here because I got to start practicing comedy again um coming up here in Appleton Wisconsin Chicago Illinois La Jolla uh comedy store there Sunnyvale CA at Rooster T Feathers tell them I said hello over there that's a beautiful place um at the Bend Comedy Festival Rochester New York um I love their garbage plate Central Pittsburgh comedy bar I'm going to Europe next um in January too later and you're doing shows in Europe in January yeah in January and February, yeah.

1:31:22And I have a podcast too. I almost forgot to say that I have a podcast on my YouTube. And what is it called? I don't know. I was thinking this upcoming weekend. This upcoming weekend? What do you think? What do you think of that name? You think that's good? Yeah. I think it's one of the better names. Yeah. Should I call it that for real? I think it's not a bad idea. I have no idea what to call it. How about this? I'm going to think of some titles. And if you haven't started by the next time we talk, by the next time that we podcast. I'm going to call it this upcoming weekend. I swear to God, I will do it.

1:32:01If there's nothing else. Well, look, don't second guess it then. Don't think too much about it. I think it's a great choice. Christina Mariani, thank you so much. Thank you. Thank you. Now I'm just floating on the breeze And I feel I'm falling like these leaves I must be cornerstone Oh, but when I reach that ground, I'll share this peace of mind I found. I can feel it in my bones. But it's gonna take...

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