E441 Glenny Balls

28:56I have no idea maybe during Prohibition or something oh yeah when they were just when people were running out of alcohol and they were trying to suffice them with other stuff you know there were things to be sufficed by yeah god i guess it is pretty good i'm trying to think if i know about a lot of different cheeses or not i didn't until yesterday i don't i'm not i'm not a massive massive cheese person though it doesn't doesn't rev my engine really not really you just went into a back room and with a bunch of men you didn't know to get it and well hey i was told to go there i said these chefs are taking me to lunch i'm letting them rock that oh i'm letting them go that would i mean that would be like right that would be like going to play basketball with michael jordan and me picking the teams okay yeah so i would said i'm letting you guys rock and hey it was great the cheese was great i mean i also counter said that as i would say a bite of good fresh mozzarella is up there for one of my favorite bites i've had just in life in general but outside of that cheese doesn't doesn't absurdly do it for me yeah yeah now a lot of people are wanting to know and i'm still wanting to know so you had six anchovies in the can how there was it was eight anchovies there were six you guys what do you do with those last two i don't know who took the other last one but um one of the chefs uh did say i should say the last one because it was would only be my second anchovy of all time so i had two of the anchovies so i guess that was an anchovy glutton but i enjoyed them did you change the way you ate it the second time um no same way i said because once again the chef ira may told me have this anchovy i said dude only if you chef it up for me again if he's there i want them to be the chefs you know oh yeah i want them to be the guides, the spiritual guides.

30:25There's something kind of, there's something, I don't want to say erotic, but there is something very sensual about getting a good food, because you're putting it on your tongue. Yeah, dude. You know? People don't realize that a lot. A lot of times people are just like, I'm putting something in my mouth, you know, I'm having this, I'm getting it, I'm inhaling, I'm bringing it into me. But that tongue is right there, too. The tongue is very sexual, and hey, there's a lot of aphrodisiacs out there as well. Yeah, oysters. A lot of, oysters is a big aphrodisiac. Which is crazy because they collect junk out of the ocean, but it said they bring in nitrogen.

30:58Is nitrogen aphrodisiac? I'm not totally sure what the rest of the aphrodisiacs are. I know Valentine's Day. What else? Ooh, Valentine's Day is a good one. Is nitrogen aphrodisiac? Let me see.

31:14Ooh, traditional plant aphrodisiacs and male sexual dysfunction. That sounds like the opposite. It's the opposite day. I've looked at it before, I'm sure. Chocolate, definitely. Figs, oysters, spicy chili peppers. Strawberries. Can you put why is oysters an aphrodisiac?

31:38Ooh. The bivalves. What does it say, Zach? The bivalves do contain zinc, which has been found to be an essential nutrient for testosterone production in spermatogenesis, I assume. Dude, this could be really dumb. Isn't zinc what we make coins out of? Yeah. So you could suck on a damn nickel, boy, and get hard, probably. Why not, dude? Oh, especially if you're poor, dude. Nothing gets you hard than a good nickel. Imagine a quarter. Imagine a silver dollar. Can't stop. Imagine a silver dollar. Bro, can't stop. Sucking all that for a month. Oh, I'm a peeping time, bro. I put a silver dollar on my tongue?

32:16I'm a peeping time. George Washington, no one hit him. I didn't know it hit him So tell me how So you grew up kind of In this Italian environment And is it just you? Is there other women In the household? Is there other children? I'm actually an only child No way Yeah Yep And why did your parents Stop with just you You think? I don't really know I'm sure you were A handsome child, huh? No Probably not I was a skinny child Until I always say I got koksaki And then that kind of Threw me off the rail I couldn't eat for a few weeks Oh, you got a disease Koksaki is like a few week disease but I couldn't eat for like two months and I just said I had to make up for lost time and I've just been making up for lost time since, you know?

32:52Because I do have like photos of me when I was say seven years old and I was a skinny little, I was a skinny guy. Really? Yeah. And when you look at those photos, do you think, because some people look at weight as like an uncommon, I mean, how do you look at weight? What am I talking about? How do I look? I don't really know. I think it's more, I mean, I don't want to say it's a mindset. It's obviously not a mindset, but like I'm pretty happy with my weight per se. There was a time in my life where I was, shockingly way bigger than i was now like i think maybe like 50 60 pounds bigger and then i was like wow and i was like fuck dude i'm a large gentleman i gotta probably stop this because i was like i mean it was just i was eating a shitload of obviously there's no reason to have a chicken cutlet with bacon sandwich for lunch every day there's no need for it not every day so then i cut that off and then luck and i cut that off and i lost probably 20 pounds and then covid hit and then i just stayed home and just like drank every night and ate grilled chicken every day and lost weight then so now i'm like sitting out a steady like 290 295 right now you really weigh that much yeah yeah you don't look that big really yeah i'm gonna play this clip whenever i walk on an airplane because i always feel bad walking on an airplane do you yeah dude you have no idea how much airplane stress i always have so take me through that airplane stress so you're because yeah you know once you get to the airport you know that you're big yeah i know i know quite literally everybody on this plane is looking at me saying please don't sit here oh that's why it's nice though because now i'm a delta diamond guy no big deal i get to order i get to um board the flight first yes so at least i get that out of the way but i mean there was one time me kate me caleb and our and our girl kelsey were traveling to um lake tahoe from la so it was a quick flight but our flight got canceled the night before so we had to get on a southwest flight last minute and we got like the 54th opening on Southwest.

34:39How there's his first come first serve. So we were the last people to sit down and I was walking down the aisle and literally I felt like Forrest Gump getting on the bus knowing nobody wants you to sit there. There were only middle seats left. Then thank God, row say 23. I saw like a 12 year old kid by the window. I said, you're mine motherfucker. Just sat right next to him. We became friends. His name was Terry. He was a great kid. He was like 13. We bonded the whole flight. He was saying he was going to visit his grandparents in Reno and we had a great time. We played baseball on his iPad together.

35:08He was great, but he saved my day because I was quite literally shitting bricks knowing every single person on this plane is telling themselves, please don't sit here. Please don't sit here. Please don't sit here. It's a shitty feeling. That'll make you want to lose a little weight. It's like that Plinko game kind of where you're like, but you don't want it to get in. You don't want it to land. The Southwest was quite literally like, it was a scary experience because there were only middle seats left. There were only middle seats left. And then there was maybe, maybe the idea that there was an aisle seat all the way in the back, but should I risk that instead of sitting next to the 12-year-old?

35:39I went with the 12-year-old. Yeah, you got to make that split. I went with the 12-year-old. And isn't it amazing that at that point you go to the warmth of children? You go to the kindness of a young child who has yet to determine in his head, hey, I don't like sitting next to the thick. I don't want to sit next to this fat guy to the thick, yes. Well, it was not that. Terry was a great kid, but it was also just he's small. He's a small guy. Okay, so he's a very small kid. He was small. So you guys put matching up together. Yeah. It almost made sense. It's a beautiful relief whenever someone ever big skitties that's next to you.

36:09It was like of mice and meat. Yes. That's a perfect example. Me and Terry, we bonded. We had a great time. Wow. Yeah, it was really nice. But it's always great. Like sometimes when you sit next to a toddler, you get lucky for a toddler. Sit next to you on a plane. That's always convenient. At work, we have a shorter gentleman. I like to sit next to him if we travel together. I've seen him. You guys did the - Yeah, yeah. We did our first Morgan Wall and Sunday conversation. he took my place oh you might have seen him in that yeah you put the brother and he snuck in the brother on wallen yeah well what happened was uh well what happened was we uh we originally when we first started sending conversation we were doing two roan you know who roan is we roan was also doing them as well so i went i was i was pissed because at the time i'm still a massive fan but i always loved darius rucker and that was the day they were doing uh like a four-place scramble like with wallen hardy darius and jaco and and then we had me and roan had a shoot with doug flutie in melbourne florida and they said you're gonna you're gonna doug flutie zaz going a uh troubadour to do the um shoot with wallon and i said fucking zaz about to hang out all day with darius man and i'm sitting here with doug flutie in a conference room in a marriott in melbourne beach florida that sucked i was disappointed about that luckily two years later we did darius on sunday conversation and that was great but right at the time it stung it stung when the yeah when the boss says the boss says yeah um so you're growing up there only child, right?

37:29And what kind of work are you in when you're doing, are you a funny guy? What kind of kid are you? And you're a thicker kid. You said you went through the disease, you got out of it, you got to start, and you started thickening it up? Yeah, we thicked up. We thicked up pretty good. Did the whole family? Because sometimes there's kind of like a thing where a whole family will put on weight at the same time. Like something happens, a grandmother dies, or there's a, like a not a power outage but like a um you know like a nuclear disaster or something you know no i would say i would not say so but we're definitely a larger family i would say half half thicks half non-thicks okay but in like the not the immediate family like my aunts and uncles whatnot but uh growing up yeah i would just say i'd say a fun guy i don't think i don't think absurdly funny but fun always hung out with the with the with the good guys i'm still best friends with all my friends growing up.

38:18Yeah. I think relatively normal childhood, Catholic high school. I'm Catholic high school and grade school. That was interesting. Oh, wow. Because that's all boys in there, huh? No, we had co-ed. Really? Our rival college high school was all dudes, but we were co-ed. They must have been so jealous of you guys. Yeah, dude. The thing too with them is there was, so there were three high schools in the area, Catholic high schools. Sacred Heart was all girls. Chaminade was all boys. And then Kellenberg, where I went, was co-ed. So they all had, Sacred Heart, I think, had Cotillion and Chaminade had aqua prom.

38:48So then we always had to watch our few Sacred Heart and Chaminade friends try to match up. So they all had to get each other from a distance. And we actually had no prom at Kellenberg. Yeah. Our prom got canceled for flaunting of affluence. And what? People being wealthy? Yeah. Definitely not me, but like other people got canceled in 2006. Our prom did. So I never had a prom. Damn. Yeah. That was a whole big thing. Colbert talked about it on Colbert Report. Your prom got canceled. What happened? Your prom got canceled. Yeah. Did y 'all do a fake prom somewhere? So our fucking prom, I guess our kind of prom, we did a boat ride around Manhattan, which pretty fun.

39:21It was fun. But hey, let me tell you, as a larger gentleman that did not have sex in high school, it took a lot of stress away from having to find a prom date. Oh, wow. What a relief, huh? It was like sitting next to a toddler on a plane. Seriously. It was quite nice. That I will say was fun. And then, yeah, I never had the prom. Didn't have a prom. Dude, what if you don't think about that? You don't think about the other half of the school because there's half of the school. That's like, yeah, prom, this is it. I have a girlfriend. I have a boyfriend. I'm lucky. I'm, you know, unisex. I don't need anybody.

39:53Just American pie. I'm taking myself, yeah. Like, but then there's like half the people that are like, fuck, I don't have anybody. I'm afraid to ask someone. My partner is ill or something. I've been molested. You know, just all kind of stuff. Yeah. Always two sides of the story. It was, so I enjoyed it. I didn't mind it. Fox, you're like, wow. Yeah. I said to myself, this is kind of nice. I was a little concerned, though, people were going to start taking dates to this boat ride. Luckily, they didn't. Right. And it was fine. We basically just hung out. It was. Dude, do you remember how nerve wracking it was?

40:25If somebody asked you to make it to get a date. Right. Like we had like Sadie Hawken. Right. Where the kid had the girl had to buy you a shirt. Right. And it was a matching shirt. OK. So first off, my mom was like, don't pick out some girl that picks out shitty shirts. Like, right. You know, grandma already gets you shitty shirts every year. You need a good shirt. So now I have this pressure, right? And I'm not, you don't even get to pick. The girl picks you. Kind of like penguins. Is it women's picks it? I could be dumb, but I think women, no, sorry. Men present the women with a pearl. My apologies, but yes.

41:00With a pearl? Yeah, I believe that's how they find it. They find like a pearl or something. That's how they propose to their ladies. Really? Yep, I think so. Wow, bring that up. I'm pretty sure, I believe it's a pearl. They definitely find something. I was watching an animal show one time and they like went to the end of the earth to find their thing to present their lady I think you're watching maybe Ice Age or something I think it's something like that Using a pearl to propose? I think so Because I'm not seeing anything on that Maybe not a pearl but definitely something They have to find something and then give it to the lady I'm pretty sure How do penguins propose to one another?

41:33Oh with pebbles Pebbles sorry A less fancy pearl That's a very good point That's all a pebble is dude Yeah A pebble is just a pearl that's in rehab. It finds the smoothest pebble. Isn't that nice? People think romance is dead, huh? That's a good point, isn't it? During courtship, a male penguin will find the smoothest pebble to give to a female as a gift. If she likes the offering, she'll place it in the nest, and the two will continue building up their little pebble mound in preparation for the eggs. That's actually beautiful. I didn't know that. Yeah, I'm going to cry right now. I didn't know that that was their beginning of the foundation for their nest for their eggs.

42:09That's fucking cute. Dude, that is so romantic. That's romantic as hell. Because first of all, to even be a penguin, right, and balance a little pebble. Yeah, and they don't, it's not like they look down at the pebbles there. They got to go find the smoothest pebble. Yeah, and first of all, how do you even lift the pebble further? Because you can barely even look down, I don't think, a penguin can look. Yeah, you got to do it. So you have to almost get the pebble way up here and look at it. Maybe kick it. Yes. But then how do you test if it's the smoothest? Oh. How about that? Penguins are wild.

42:38Look at the one of them giving it to the other one With the beak he gives it It's like when Harry met Sally Yeah Man that's amazing Is there something else Really romantic that happens in nature See if you can find some Of nature's best romance Because the only other thing I've seen is that lizard That guy who's like a total perv That like puts like the big fake thing Yeah that's the only other thing I was going to say as well I'm pretty sure in one of those shows I was watching one time I think it was some sort of a burn He literally put on a Show You Think You Dance-esque performance For his lady It was unbelievable He looked like Chris Brown He was crazy And then I think he actually F***ed the woman when they come over So it really had a lot A lot of C Brown Flamingos dance for their love Take us through that Zach This article lists a couple examples But Flamingos dance for their love I guess in separate groups.

43:37They strut together in search of a mate. Seahorses, I guess, flirt a lot. Horny. Yeah. Wolves. Wolves mate for life. Now that's interesting. Wolves mate for life. Yeah. Their packs are generally like nuclear families that comprise an adult male. Oh, damn. Dude, did you possibly see that story out of Vegas about a month or two ago? That some sort of dog. I think it was not. It wasn't a bulldog. I think it was maybe a pit bull. was adopted by a pack of wolves outside of Vegas and became their leader. Really? Yeah. Damn. Animal Control found him and took him back, but he became their leader. He was the leader of the pack.

44:15Wow. They didn't kill him and then let him become the leader. Huh. Yeah. White dogs started living with Coyote Pack and Nevada rescued. Apparently, he became the leader of the crew. Wow. They've got to make them. See, but they won't make this movie, you know, because it's probably too much violence. I don't know if they can animate it. You know? Like they won't make like Babe, Pig in the Crips, you know? That's fair. I would love to see this stuff. Yeah, animated for adults. Maybe make like Charlie Hunnam the lead voice in an American accent and his Jax Teller accent. Yeah, oh, that would be nice.

44:49How with Miles Teller in it? Oh, I'm down for Miles Teller as well, dude. We should make a new Outsiders with Miles Teller in it. Remember the Outsiders? Of course. Was that Tom Cruise in the Outsiders? Or am I thinking of Stand By Me? I'm mixing them up. no Tom Cruise wasn't in Stand By Me I think he might have been in The Outsiders was he as Outsiders stay Golden Ponyboy yeah yes I think him like Rob Lowe yes Rob Lowe Tom Cruise wow Tom Cruise was in there Matt Dillon Macchio Patrick Swayze that's a goddamn power crew it's unreal it's like the 80s Avengers yeah see Thomas Howe that's unbelievable um what were we talking about uh your lady in high school giving finding you a good shirt Yeah.

45:32Thank you, man. Wow, you're a good, you know what you're doing. So, yeah, the girl had to pick out the shirt, you know. And I never really had, I didn't have like the girlfriend. I always had kind of like the one where you kind of got set up. I wasn't in the circle of like getting the notes from the girls a lot and stuff. So it was always like you, like I was always a little bit on the outside. Like my friend Scott would always get the date. And then one of her friends and I would go with one of the friends. And then you would just hope that Scott made out with some girls so he could tell you about it.

46:04Did you do prom though? Yep, I went to prom. Oh, dude. How did you go about doing your date? Well, so prom, there was a girl that came into the office. Because I used to go in the office and hang out in there, right? And flirt with this lady that kind of looked like an animal a little bit. But she worked at our school. so I'd go in there and kind of flirt with her and stuff and just kind of because I wanted to be out of class so I'd go in there and just sit in there and you know and uh and then they gave me a job and they're working behind the desk I didn't do anything but at least I was in there for a reason now so they could like so it wasn't like an insurance issue or whatever so one day this girl came in and she needed something from me so she like asked so it was like I always had the toughest time kind of talking to the girls so once this girl kind of needed something from me it was like suddenly I was like of use you know so I started flirting a little bit and the next thing you know we uh we ended up dating and um made love and um I took her to the school dance we went to the school prom but what happened she uh left to go to an after party early no yes and i got stuck so i had to draw i drove this one this one uh white guy that went to our school he uh wore like one of the he wore like a um a blazer that had those shoulder pads in it nice like single moms used to have to wear because the husband had left you know sure and um so he wore that and i remember i was like dude i'll give you a ride and he's like all right cool and so we're driving to the party and he breaks down crying bro so now i want to get to this party because you know in high school you only kind of get so many chances to make love to your girl right but what was the love made already before this party or this is your it was made before okay but this was still like prom night still still still a super bowl of the love it's it's a super bowl of high school love making obviously yes yeah that's it yeah it's the biggest deal from what i see in the movies because i don't have one yeah yeah so you're excited bro and he starts telling me this dude had the craziest he kept saying that people thought he looked like something people thought he looked like damon wayans right and he was a white guy and right then i knew he's nobody thought that right and he's just kind of like losing his shit bring up a picture of damon wayans if you can the daddy and he's like man people expect so much out of me you know uh i was like do nobody you know i'm just thinking nobody and he's a white guy i mean this guy's black damon wayans is black so anyway i knew i'm like fuck dude but the guy's crying so it's like it's you it's so hard to get from somebody crying to okay de-escalate the situation and get over to you know before your date gets too drunk where you can't make out yeah that's yeah so did you uh or where you feel comfortable making out also which is what we're gonna say did you so did you want him not going to party no we got there man but i had to sit for like a half hour and be in the car with him while he cried and then um It's a mood kill, buzz kill.

49:11Oh, it was the worst, dude. Because I kept just one. Like, it's prom! Going to open the door every five minutes. Yeah, that's tough. And he's like, man, people expect so much out of me, man. People expect so much out of me. And I'm like, nobody even knows what you're talking about. Hey, look at us. Two guys with bad prom experiences. Yeah. What was yours? You didn't have one at all. It got canceled. No, we had none at all. It's yours got canceled. We literally just had that boat ride. So was it weird going into summer then not having made love yet? it um it was a little odd because that was uh it was summer and then we were going to college and college was interesting yeah college now college showing up to college i think having made love or not made love that seems like a i wonder what that feels like to a guy i mean i know what it feels like but i'd made love yeah yeah so you kind of had that monkey off your nuts or whatever you know yeah college was a scary ass time i really did not like it i went to u albany for like three semesters.

50:06UAlbany was an odd, it's an odd place. I'm on record saying I think the most satanic people are in upstate New York. There's just an eerie vibe in upstate New York. It's an eerie, eerie place. Yeah, a lot of neck tattoos, a lot of fucking people getting punched in the back of the head while they're trying to eat a TV dinner, that kind of shit. That's very fair. Yeah, it's a creepy, creepy, odd place. I mean, there was one time where literally I was, it was my freshman year, first semester, i would stay on the eighth floor we were lucky enough i like won the lottery of being in the nice tower being in the good tower that's a brand new tower indian tower it was called which was awesome like were you big were you physically larger at this point or not um yeah i would say a little larger than i am now okay but um not not as big as i had gotten like i said but um so we were in there it was eighth floor i always remember it was great we had communal bathrooms not a community but i'm sweet so we only switched area bathroom with like six people great times for some reason though whenever for that first semester we were drinking like personals of bacardi every friday night i don't know why we were drinking personals of what is that gin i think gin kind of homeless sexy kind of yeah i was drinking like bacardi apple personals no idea why but either way it was friday was friday night one night and i'm a noted pussy like about many things like definitely supernatural stuff like about what drinking and shit like that no no no actually you know fun fact i was the last of my friends to start drinking I started drinking in the junior year at this.

51:31Wow, okay. Yeah, this weird thing called Haunted Coliseum, but that's another thing. In college or in high school? High school. I used to walk around and tell my friends I'm going to be the DD. I can't wait until I get my license. I'll drive everybody around. Oh, yeah, you probably wanted to be a cab driver. I mean, a lot of that's just being Italian. Yeah, that went out of the door, though, once I got that nice taste. Oh, yeah. After that, so. Okay, so you're in college. They got you Rapunzel'd up. They got you Sugar Ray punzel'd up in the top of the tower. You're living large. You got your own pisser up there.

51:58You're doing good. It was the best, man. So it's Friday night. We all have our personals. And then we elect me to be the guy that night to go downstairs to the basement to get the sodas to chase everything. So I go down to the basement, get the sodas, go back up to the A4. But we're stopped at the first floor. Yeah. I step into the elevator. And I will remember this clear as day. Step into the elevator, go to the back right corner of it. In walks in this kid that I've seen on campus. I didn't know who he was. And this girl that I saw on campus that I definitely always found. she just looked a little creepy looked a little off oh yeah and i'm looking about and she kind of wizardy looking yes almost like a harry potter student yeah and she so i'm in the back left corner this kid stands directly in front of me in the other corner she immediately walks in and sits down in the right corner to me and i see her sitting down i don't tell myself why the why is this girl sitting down in the corner elevator door closes as soon as the door closed she starts like freaking out almost like shaking and screaming at the top of her lungs and i'm trying not to look I look over at her and she is covered in like satanic writing.

52:59There was like a 666 on her forehead, like a pentagram all over her arm. And I, like I said, I'm a massive, massive pussy. I immediately, I had, it was one of the, probably the most scared I've been in my life. Cause I don't, I don't fuck with the satanic stuff in the slightest. Yeah. Well who likes Satan? No, there's people, but, and I'm sitting there having, I was white as a ghost. And then thank God, these girls who don't know got off at four, six, they were getting on. So I jumped off the floor six. Those girls immediately said, this man is the most unattractive man I've ever seen in my life.

53:29Jumping out of that, seeing me just white as a fucking ghost. But you know what? I went back up and my roommate still says to this day that he's never seen a human being truly white as a ghost. I was so terrified. I didn't know if there was some sort of like satanic cult going on in the school or if it was a joke. I truly don't know to this day. So if you happen to be watching this, whatever your name was, I would love to know. I don't know. To this day, it was terrifying. scary this episode is brought to you by better help we're grateful for them and i'm grateful over the years to uh i feel like be getting to know myself you know it's interesting as you kind of evolve you get to know yourself some you're like oh you know once you get used to everything else in the world you're just like oh dang i'm gonna learn about me and if you have trouble getting to know yourself, BetterHelp is there.

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55:06That's betterhelp.com slash theo. You know I'm a big fan of raising canes, baby. You know it. my god boy and if I see if I see raisin canes I want it you know me I'll day dude I will I'll crawl under something to get a dang a raisin cane I want it I want them chicken fingers daddy god mmm I want God put them fingers in me that's how I just want it they got the crinkle cut fries the Texas toast oh god look at it I love Raising Canes that's who I am and you can too and if you want it and you desire it like I do I like the Caniac combo then you can go onto their website you can order online right now RaisingCanes.com and they also have that mobile app that's right they're mobile satisfy your Canes fix fast by ordering through their app or online at RaisingCanes.com or stop by your local restaurant.

56:16Oh, gosh. Yeah, you know, they had a lot. You know, until Harry Potter came out, the wizarding group of people were... Like a lot of the Satanist kids, that Satanist vibe, they morphed. Some of them, I think when Harry Potter came out, they're like, okay, this is a way for me to get out of this. This is our new thing. Well, this is a chance. If I'm not going full Satan and I'm just Hufflepuffing around, this is a chance for me to... just to, you know, this is a way out. Which is nice. Agreed. A lot of those people got onto that. Now, some people stayed Satan. Yeah, if you stayed on the Satan route, you were going straight to hell.

56:53Yeah, I mean, or yeah, or you're like a, yeah, if you're like a Colts fan or whatever, you know, whatever, I don't know. But some people just stayed going out there. But some people got off on the Harry Potter when Hogwarts rolled up. They're like, I'm fucking, thank God. Yeah. There were some guys that are Voldemort guys. They stayed Voldemort guys. Yeah, that kept doing that. You know, that's a little fun fact, though. Apparently, Satanists aren't actually, they don't believe in Satan. They just believe in nothing, which is odd. But they also, I think they worship, like, the idol of, like, Baphomet, which is that dude with the goat head.

57:25Yeah, or Beelzebub. Let's bring up Beelzebub, please. Ooh, yeah. You know what? I'm curious about the different Satans. Yeah, there's Beelzebub. I think he was, like, I think Beelzebub is actually, like, the biblical Satan, I believe. Yeah. That guy's creepy as hell. I think of this, I think of like, I think of like the villain in Tenacious D. I wonder what that guy would do, huh? That dude? Looking like a corned up cougar with his little Antichrist baby? That's tough stuff. The scariest part is that he has that baby because part of you is going to want to help the baby, but part of you knows that that baby is probably already compromised.

58:03And that is also the Antichrist. That is the continuation of Satan, I guess, theoretically. Like Rosemary's Baby, you ever see that movie? that's rosemary's baby right there baby i mean and that'll make you be pro uh choice yes right uh let's look at um look at different satans can you look that up please i just want to see some of the different ones i've never thought about this the different types of satan they have now there's that yeah this is the tenacious d satan that's your tenacious d satan that's your pop culture saying yeah that's your very run-of-the-mill kind of everyday saying yeah That's your everyday Satan.

58:41That's your like, yeah, three in the afternoon, we need a Satan. Ooh, that look at Lucifer there. That's just a normal dude naked with some wings. Top left. Oh, wow. Look at that. So that guy could really be anybody. So that guy, I feel like that was Satan in his human form before he went downstairs. Yeah. That guy's got a top hat, though. I enjoy that one. Oh, that's good. Like, he's a businessman. Like, look here. He's like, Monopoly went wrong. Yeah, like, I'm going to manage Elvis. wow you see a lot of that goat with wings with horns it's the goat head that's the one that'll get you the pentagram when was the first satan i think it just said that lucifer's what 350 bc if you click on the man the naked man 350 years of the john milton's paradise lost okay let's look that up zach if you don't mind when was the first satan what is that in the Bible this is bad for me I went to fucking Catholic high school like I said no look man this is oh look at that guy okay satan also known as the devil and sometimes also called Lucifer in Christianity is an entity in the Abrahamic religions that seduces humans into sin or falsehood.

59:56In Judaism, Satan is seen as an agent, figures, that's the most, you know, you got to have an agent, subservient to God, typically regarded as a metaphor for the yetzerhara or evil inclination, so the evil inclination of God. What does that say, Zach? A figure known as Satan first appears in the Hebrew Bible as a heavenly prosecutor, as we were talking about. So he was good and then went bad. But it first appeared in the Hebrew Bible. So that kind of means he was like the Judge Judy kind of the Hebrew Bible. Right. And then he went wrong. He wanted all the power for himself, I guess. That's normal.

1:00:35Yeah, it happens. All right, so you're in college. Things are going pretty cool. You're enjoying it. I didn't love it. I really did not I just I love my friends from home Just a lot And I just kind of Just miss them You did Yeah a lot A lot a lot a lot Then I transferred home Oh dad I went to I went to school At Baruch With this like Business college In Manhattan On 23rd and Lexington And then I got hired At my job Beginning of the second Semester of that At first school Yes sir And then I did two more Finished that semester Did one more And then I dropped out Oh you dropped out of college I am a college dropout Yeah Good times Hmm whatever yeah it was like six years ago now so yeah i mean i think a lot of times college is just if you don't even know what to do people go into college yeah it was scary because like my mom obviously don't want me to drop out but then i kept telling her the point of college is to get your dream job and i have my dream job so why should i not just drop out yeah for it and i would venture to guess the experience i've had in the six years since is well worth more than a college degree in nothing i had no major i was my shock yeah i was horrible at math so when i transferred i even when i transferred i had to do a whole um what do they call it intermediate or remedial math class a whole for a whole semester i didn't even get credit for the class and then to even get a major i had to do like two more math courses yeah so math really got me yeah and when i yeah when i when i dropped out i didn't even have a major and i was a junior yeah oh math will trip up any real you know what i'm saying bro sorry sorry but yeah math uh math will get you boy yeah but that but that was i was such a relief the day i got hired too because it was just so like yeah well that was i mean barstool was a huge corporation then i mean how long you've been working there six years i've been this september is going to be seven but i i mean i got hired caleb hired me which is fun which is fun to talk about now like quite literally the day i got hired at work my mom uh i was doing tuesday thursday monday wednesday class and then friday there was like a 20 minute recap of the monday wednesday class so for the first few weeks of that my mom was at baruch yep my mom was driving me into the jewish school or is this the name of it bernard baruch is like a famous business guy he may have been in the tribe i'm sure he i think he was actually is your family jewish or no no italian okay italian and greek do they have italian jewish people yeah i would i feel like italians and jews cross mingle a lot so there's definitely some.

1:03:05But, so my mom literally drove me to the city that day because we were doing a nice, very wholesome, we would, she would drop me off every Friday. I would go to my 20 minute recap and then I would go to a nice lunch in the city. You and your mother. Yeah, it was nice. Yeah, beautiful. So she saw how nervous I was. I got the, I got the internship interview at 1230 that day. The class was from, ended up, let's say 1145. So she drove me over there and I was freaking out too because at the time I was actually emailing with what I thought was Erica Nardini, our CEO, it was really just our office manager but they made it seem like it was a it was whose office manager our office manager his name was brett he used to work with us at barstool yes sir so you thought you were just emailing with all the with the office manager from barstool i thought i was emailing with erica as the ceo but it was really brett oh behind that so i was i think i'm emailing erica i think it's like a business interview type of thing as i'm going over there i look at the barstool snapchat and i see caleb interviewing people so i'm saying oh fuck this is kind of like a content thing and i'm shitting bricks because now you're gonna be on camera i'm gonna be on camera.

1:04:02I was a fan of Caleb, a fan of everybody. I was a big Barstool fan. And you're nervous. Your mother knows you're nervous. Terrifyingly nervous. And also one thing that's value. Now, this is a value of having children that I think are thicker, you know, is that you can see when they're nervous easier. That's fair. I get rosy cheeks. I get big time rosy cheeks. I've been told that a lot. And I think that there's something about that as a mother. It must be because you have all these other mothers, the kids on pills for nine months, dude. They have no idea, but he weighs 121 pounds. Yes, sir. So she knew I was worried.

1:04:31And then And I know it's a constant interview then. I did not realize. Did you ever go to our old office by any chance? I did one time. So do you remember how you get off the elevator and everyone's sitting right there? Yeah, it's kind of alarming. It's quite terrifying. So I'm a Barstool fan. No idea what I'm walking into. I get off the elevator. Everybody's sitting right there. Extremely scary. I go walk by the bar. They say, stand there for a second. Go talk to Caleb. I'm shitting bricks. I'm a Caleb Presley fan at the time. Still am. and he asked me, he just sits me down and asked me, are you fast?

1:05:03And I said, you know what? For my size, I am pretty fast. When I play softball, I get down the line pretty quick. People will be shocked. I've beaten out a ground ball or two in my day. He says, prove it. Let's go downstairs to the street, to the 28th. And when my mom dropped me off, I said, Claudia, drive away. Don't stay here. I don't know what's going to happen. Just don't stay here. There's some other name, Claudia? Yeah. You call her by Claudia? I call her Claudia sometimes. It's a beautiful name. Yeah, I like Claudia. my mom's like so i like it so i call her claude sometimes she's clawed on my phone but um so we go outside she didn't move so i'm fucking freaking out my mom is literally right there and i'm out there with the camera and caleb i'm telling my mother's right she's right there if you watch the video and what is her car she's pretending she's not there probably sitting in the car smoking a cigarette but she's she was there that checks out and i think that's awesome it was great yeah i was just terrified if she was gonna get out of the car and say something or anything yeah we walked to the corner, run down the street.

1:05:54Caleb says, you know what? You are fast. You're hired. We go up and talk to Dave. As I'm walking out, Gaz, our head of social says, what's your nicknames? And I recently had watched Entourage and Goodfellas. And Goodfellas was a character named Sally Balls. Entourage was a character named Wally Balls. I think just in my head, I thought Glenny Balls would be a name. Me and my friends were jokingly named me that. I would call myself that jokingly when we were talking about gambling or something. Glenny Balls. Yeah, like when I'm talking about horse racing or anything. Yeah. Sammy Spheres, Ronnie Rounds.

1:06:28Yes, sir. You know what I'm talking about? So I said, oh, my friends call me Glennie Balls. Then I think the name is a bit. It's a catchy name. It's a good name. And then, yeah, then pretty crazy. Me and Caleb started hanging out. And what about mom at that moment? Did you hug? Because the craziest thing that moms do is not leave and then pretend they left. Dude, you know what happened, actually. so it was right it was right when barstool first moved to new york from like so everybody living across the country finally moved together every friday they were doing aloha fridays so um everyone would dress in hawaiian shirts and make margaritas and shit i was only i had just turned 20 it's nice like christmas almost yes sir i had just turned 20 and they immediately say you're the intern go get us alcohol and i of course had fake ids oh yeah but i didn't want to use a fake idea and maybe get in trouble you just started as a long island person using fake ids in the city was always a bit of a scary thing so i called my mom like hey how far away are you you on the bridge yet she comes back bought me all the alcohol and then bought underage children alcohol no my co-workers that were of age oh because i was just scared to buy it for i was scared to get like in trouble using a fake id so my mom came back drove back to the office went to the liquor store down the street bought us the alcohol and then i just gave it to everybody else I was scared to not deliver and then I got Caleb Chipotle that was my first day at work went to a Met game that night Caleb's an interesting guy he's the most interesting man that I've come across he's very you know I think there's other levels so there's layers to him that more will be revealed I think yes I think there's things about him that a lot of us don't know

1:08:07and I think we're going to be learning I hope so I mean I'm clearly a massive fan as are you yeah great guy but yeah you just wonder is there sometimes there's a little ulterior motive somewhere in that man you know he likes the uh he likes to rabble rouse you know he likes the fucking smoke boy yeah he does he's he's i mean he's a fun guy i love him i love being with him i love hanging out with him i'm still kind of scared of him but i love him um yeah he's an alarming guy um great guy very interesting um yeah i went he came to a show in florida not long ago i had a show in uh florida and he came out him um and he's he was he was pretty lit we're getting we went to the casino and he's gambling he's uh i've gambled i gambled with him in lake tahoe last year at uh that golf tournament out there yeah he's uh when caleb it's not me and him are different stages of life he's he's i think he just turned 30 he doesn't drink as much hang out as much but like i like to i like to go out whenever we're traveling just i'm like i'm traveling i'm if i'm in tuesday in la why not go out why not you go out yeah i all i get messages all the time you and i are not and we're not super close you know we've kind of got yeah we've met each other a few times but yeah and i'm glad we're getting to spend time today and um but i'll get messages like glenny balls is in town yeah i like to go out i like i like to i like to enjoy i like to enjoy the cities that I traveled that I'm lucky enough to travel to for work so but I would say maybe once every few trips I'll get Caleb out with me and when as you know when he's out and having fun he's just the most fun funniest person to enjoy and that whole time we were in like Tahoe he just he was just having a great time and he was he's just so much I love him he's just so much fun yeah he's a creator man I was kind of joking he's a creator he like well I mean he got all he got he was pretty fire he was pretty lit right so he's pretty lit and he starts bragging everybody that he went to wells fargo earlier right he starts saying it like it's a like he went to like some fancy place like c's candy or something you know he's like yeah he gets he makes a new bit every time he gets drunk pretty much yeah he's like i was at wells fargo this afternoon he keeps you know he's like oh i got some size 10s from wells fargo i'm picturing him saying it exactly so he got i guess two thousand dollars out of his bank account at this point he's up twenty $50 ,000, right?

1:10:25Yeah. I haven't bet a bit. Dustin Poirier is there. Mitchell Trubisky. Cole Holcomb. Some of his, Caleb's close friends. Some of my close friends sitting there doing a little bit of gambling. And Caleb's like, he just wants to bet it all. He wants to lose it all. He's trying to buy a car for the lady that's working there. He wants them to send a fucking Kia dealer to the table. like you're at a certain point you're just like what is going on it just it's unbelievable and if you tell him to cash out he will not no he's the best he's the best i mean we were i like to too we were there like that that tournament in the high roller room for i think four nights in a row because that's all where everybody was hanging out and there was one night we lost him i lost until 3 a.m i couldn't find him i had to know where his phone was i finally found him eating chili with kevin from the office at the bar like two blocks away i really was looking for him for two hours and I found it with Kevin from the office eating chili which is like once again it's like playing basketball with Michael Jordan eating chili with Kevin from the office but yeah he's just he's he's a raucous time when you go when you get him going yeah you never he he is like an ingredient where it's like okay they're like you can put this ingredient in the recipe and like what are you like what is the ingredient they're like we don't know what the ingredient is and I I know whenever I get it I'm so excited to savor it yeah like even when I've the few times I've been in the same city as him because like he just i was living in nashville and he and i go to nashville a lot so i would like whenever i go i'd feel weird not texting him i'll throw him a text usually it just doesn't answer which is fine yeah that's who he is but um like this weekend too he's back in florida i'm going to del rey this weekend i told him before when we were getting to the shoot last night i was like hey i'll be in del rey this weekend if you want to grab lunch or anything probably won't see him but it's all right i don't mind i'm with my friends anyway right you touch base yeah i just want to make sure hey if you want to hang out i'll hang out but like i'm not confident we'll get him out for a night this weekend but if we did I would be thrilled he's just one of those guys you see him at a party you just grab your take to him.

1:12:21Yeah there's something that's wonderful about there is something that's very wonderful about him and people like him of course and so many people like him that it also makes you be like oh there is something definitely I don't know if that it's not that you do it because everybody else but everybody likes him you know some people just have that quality that everybody just likes yeah you're just radiant Yeah, he got to great quality, man. He got to great quality. Yeah, I think one of my favorite, okay, actually, this is kind of a stupid, it's not even funny, but it's one of my favorite things that we've done is he kind of has like a Sunday Conversation uniform, the white shirt, bow tie, hair down.

1:12:58That same day we were on that Southwest flight, we just finished a shoot with Amelia de Moldenborg and then we just went to the bar and drank all day and then flew to Reno to go to Tahoe. And just seeing the few Sunday Conversation fans at the airport on the plane, seeing him in his, he didn't take it off, he didn't change. it was like seeing Clark Kent dressed as Superman like just seeing Caleb Connagerug roaming down the aisle in his Sunday conversation full outfit was so funny just seeing people's reactions because there are just some days he just didn't give a fuck and that was just one of the days it was great it is kind of weird like being like a talking head in a way which all of us kind of are a lot of us kind of are on social media because that's kind of what you see and then people see you in real life and people always comment on I thought you were smaller I thought you were taller I thought you you know we're in a wheelchair like people always have like different you know they they never get to it's the first time they've ever seen you you know or they're like what are you doing you interviewing someone here and you're like i'm at a aunt ann's yes i'm having a i'm not you know there's nobody you know i'm just relaxed my my main ones i just get is what always wears caleb yeah i got a lot of wears caleb yeah which i now i'm just i just say he's like he's over there he's gonna drink at the other end of the bar i'll just say he's here and uh and then my other show i do I interview OnlyFans models.

1:14:10So pretty much 99 % of the questions I get now when I'm at a bar is between me and you. Yeah. You fucking those chicks. Right. Presley or Puss? I like Presley. I like Pussy. Well, and yeah, we don't even say, we don't even say, here, I'll point at you. You say it, right? We don't even say. Pussy? I don't hear that much. Oh, I'm sorry. It's okay. It's okay. So let's get through, because yeah, I know you have a show now that is very sexually involved. It's very, it's in the sexual world, right? Yes, it's in the industry. It's in the industry. As the folks say in the industry. So I want to see how do we get there?

1:14:49So what has sex been like in your life up to this point? You're in college, you're not really digging it. Then you get the job at Barstool. Where does sex kind of play? And have you been watching pornography growing up? Have you been like, were you exposed to some type of violent, you know, drawings of people hooking? What happened? um you know i've always i've always been a horny guy i'd say like one of my favorite stories my mom always tells she tells everybody that she tells everybody that growing up she'd always just tell the story that she fell asleep one day when i was about three four years old we watched titanic she woke up and i was just rewinding were you that scene that's what she always says i don't remember because i was three or four years old but she always says it and i don't think she's a lion lady and i've always a grown woman watches that with a four-year-old seriously i think she wanted to watch fucking jack and rose fight over that door but i mean i was there for it i just i was just attracted to it like there's a photo i have of me i gotta send to you guys you want to put up your way you put it out it's like there's just a picture of me in vegas when i'm maybe 10 years old and there's just a big pair of fucking like ceramic tits behind me more on like a fat tony's yacht shirt i've just always enjoyed it i've my dad's called me going through the playboys in the attic before yeah yeah i mean those are all those not only are those awesome just because there's like full bushes and naked women in there just seeing the ads and all playboys are awesome yeah it's cool it's not like it's always a guy smoking or something it's a nice drawing of a car in the background it's never like it's all cigarette ads yeah it is all cigarette ads yeah it's just cigarette ads and then like here's her here's her interview with rising steve jobs and one of them i have yeah it's really really cool the ads are awesome but um yeah and then i think the show just led me to um i've never been absurdly into porn but now if you're climbing up a ladder now here's so you went up into the attic to look at it yes sir so there is something now because i used to bike about five miles right i'd go to my friend's house and his daddy had a little bit of pornography hidden in the uh in the toilet in the bathroom so i'd get in there and i'd lock myself in there and i'd be in there for like 40 minutes on a sunday morning at their house and And it's like going to church.

1:16:56Yeah. The only person taking like a 40 minute shit at that point was somebody who had like Ebola or somebody who had like, you know, some disease you got in the war. Taco Bell. Yeah. Yeah. Something heavy. Yeah. So I was, you know, at some point they knew I was in there jerking off, you know. But I noticed at that point, looking back, I would bike five miles on a Sunday morning to masturbate at someone's house that I didn't know that well. I think that's well worth it, honestly. I mean, I grew up in an age, luckily enough, where we didn't always have the internet. We had our phones. I think the first time I jerked off, the first time I came, I didn't even think I jerked off.

1:17:32I think it just happened naturally. Oh, wow. I'll always remember, which kind of sucks. There wasn't even a face involved. It was, remember that movie Sex Drive? Let's pull it up. It was the unrated movie Sex Drive. And the actress at the end was Katrina Bowden, wonderful actress. But she didn't go topless in the movie. So they literally panned down to like a decoy pair of tits. And that's the first thing I ever came to. So you came to fake tits. I came to just... Not even real. No, they're real, just not even could treat about it. So it was just an unnamed pair of tits. I don't know who the first tit I came to was.

1:18:02If you look on the IMDB of the movie, will it let you know? Maybe. I've never done it. I might look at that later. Yeah, because they show her face, and then she takes her top off, and it's an unknown pair of tits. Sex drive. Great movie, though. Zach can look that. Oh, you know who's in there? Seth Green is in it. Yep, and also Clark Duke, who I love. Yes. very funny dude um zach can look that up in the background and see if those tits if he's yeah it should be katrina bowden's tits in the unrated version yeah that was always a fun thing the unrated versions yeah it was something that came out you know i remember looking uh i remember being um finding some pornography and a liquor at the same time and i was drinking and looking at it and i didn't know what was going on and i was on the top of a shelving unit and then uh ejaculated and uh fell down to the ground just blacked out it was just overdrive the worst things to happen honestly it was overdrive that sounds awesome god it was good that sounds like a home run but then there's something after that where it's like everything kind of changes you know you just feel like some you know then you start to just abuse yourself to get semen out of you yeah yeah i mean i'm not gonna sit here and say and sugarcoat it there when once i figured out what was happening there it happens a lot like a like a goddamn professional ball player god it's the best then iphones ipods infinite infinite i could only imagine like you were saying growing up you and me too i was looking at the magazines mine probably i would say my main source of tits though growing up was like unrated american pie movies yeah i would say you ever see american pipe beta house a lot of tits dude the amount that i would i would venture should have guessed that has the most topless women in a movie ever.

1:19:50It's an astonishing amount of tits in this movie. Astonishing. I've seen this more times than I've seen Forrest Gump. Yeah. You think you've been to church more or seen this more? Dude, I don't go to church that often. But you had to go growing up. We would go occasionally. We would go occasionally. I would maybe go every, maybe a few times a year, maybe 10 times a year. but I really hadn't gone depends actually my high school we would go to church for school but it would be in the basketball court and the pastor would come in does that count as going to church? I don't know we had assembly sometime we had this beautiful Miss McManus I think she was our principal I don't know or she could have just been like a real angry lesbian that was at the school you didn't know sometimes you know but they would always have that assembly you know and it was like we're having an assembly you know and it would be like and it was always like kids were urinating on the they had like the spit the heaters in the like the old heaters it was an old building from like the 1930s that we all went to middle school in and they had people were pissing on the heaters and it would steam up the whole bathroom so then people would play like ghost baby and stuff like that and things like you know and uh Planet of the Apes, all that shit in the bathroom because it was all just piss steam, you know?

1:21:14Oh, dude. So she had to have a meeting and say, no more pissing on the things, you know? And it was crazy telling children that because kids were in there just... And that'll probably want to make them do more. Sounds like a lose-lose for everybody, though. The second you heard about it, if you weren't doing it, you're like, we gotta go do it. Fight or fight? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And we had a janitor, this dude, Mr. Larry, and he would piss over you into the fucking urine while you were in there. He was like the BJ Armstrong of piss This guy was It was unreal bro How he could fucking hit it every time Right over your body Like you could literally look up and see it going over you Like the um What's that thing in St.

1:21:50Louis The Golden Arch Yes sir So you were under this man as he was peeing out? He would pee from behind you It was like a secret Yeah he was like a fucking savant or whatever You know Giant? No he wasn't a giant I mean he was a giant to us We were in 5th or 6th grade, but he was probably, I bet, 5 '9". Interesting. Black, though. So he had that, you know. Yeah, yeah. He had that damn... Well-endowed. So get us... All right, so you're cruising through life. You're at... Now, did you finally... Did you get to sex before you got to Barstool? I did not. Wow. I'll tell you that. I'll say it. I don't mind.

1:22:31I mean... Yeah, look, I mean... I'm doing fine now, so I don't really mind talking about it. Yeah, look, I mean... I wouldn't, I always, I wouldn't say I'm like, I wasn't to say I was popular per se, but like my friends were like normal, like normal kids. We always had fun. Like I said, still best friends with all of them. We're great guys. But yeah, never, never dabbled in. Yeah, it's all right. And so were you nervous? I mean, dude, I remember, I mean, I, yeah, I would, it was always so nerve wracking to me. Were you nervous when you got in, when you, when you, did you know it was going to happen?

1:22:59Was it like a, all right, this is it. It's a girl I'm dating. This is a big night. or was it just kind of like here it goes? It was a girl I was talking to for a little bit and we had done stuff before that. We hadn't done the whole nine. I think it was going to go to a good concert. What concert do you remember? It was Billy Joel. And he's my favorite artist ever actually. So that's a nice. Bro, if you could make love to a woman after Billy Joel. What's better than that? Nothing. Literally nothing. Yeah, it was a Billy Joel concert. It's so rare, I feel like. Dude, yeah, it feels like I'm in the 80s.

1:23:36So I mean, it's a cool story. It was like a Billy Joel concert. It was beautiful. I mean, I actually never said that. So it was a Billy Joel concert. And everyone, a lot of people, if you know me remotely, you know, I love Billy Joel. Yeah, who doesn't? Maybe now people know why. Seats from an insane restaurant and some sex. It's a good duo. And did you go back home? Did you go to a hotel or motel? No, it was at her apartment. Yeah, God. odd now you're venturing in enemy territory i'm wondering was it more fun to have sex on home turf or on away turf i'm in a way game guy i love away games i love away games well i mean me and caleb also travel a lot that's a good point i'm a big fan of away games i mean i i love sex but i just i enjoy it like i've said this many times on only stands like i just enjoy i enjoy the chase of it a lot so i love doing the away game stuff yeah and and i'm not gonna lie to you every time i go to bars at home.

1:24:30I don't get like the same vibe with women. I just don't talk to women the same. I don't know why. I feel like they like me less. There's something about an away game. There's the allure of an away game. Well, yeah, they can get you at the store. They can get you at the local store because you're there. 100%. But when you're just passing through town, when you're like you're a commodity, you're like when the train would come through and had like ribeyes on it, you know? You got a bunch of brothers just beating the shit out of each other. But if you grow up right next to Ribeye Factory, plus... Right next to Peter Luger, it's not going to be the same.

1:25:06So yeah, definitely an away game guy. There's no doubt about it. And when you walk out of that place, you make love to the woman. When you leave there, does things feel different? I'm trying to take myself back to that moment. It felt pretty damn good. I barely remember. I actually got a text from my buddy that said his manager at the firm he works for, in the city just said I saw Glennie walking down the street looking absolutely disheveled. And I said, yeah. Makes fucking sense, dude. Makes absolute sense. Put two and two together. Did you tell your mom after? No. I did not. I don't even know if I told my friends, honestly.

1:25:43This is the way they're going to find out. It's just interesting and I'm trying to remember who I told. I also didn't tell her. So this might be the way she finds out too if she watches this. That's beautiful, man. Which might be embarrassing. So I haven't talked to her in a while which would be awkward but whatever dude i made love behind a tiffany lane by they used to have a bowling alley in our town called tiffany lanes over there how was that out uh outdoors it was outdoors out back wow i've still never done the whole public sex type of thing it was it was it was it was you know i was always so i've always had so like it's gotten better now but i had so much pressure like in interacting with women yes sir that it's like a lot of like like nerves going on.

1:26:22Oh, 100%. And imagine you're like, imagine somebody's electrocuting you and you still have to play Jenga, you know? Yeah. That's kind of how it is, I think, if you're really nervous and trying to get a good erection. Yeah, I mean, there's no two ways about it, too. I'll be the first two minutes. Like I just said, our confidence is a lot. As I guess I've grown more at work, my confidence has risen, and now it's fine. Yeah. But a while ago, I was like, I totally get it. It's fucking scary. Sex is scary. Girls are scary. Especially when you're up once again. know a lot i'm no tom hanks why did i say tom hanks i'm no tom cruise yeah like it's it's an intimidating thing for the fellas i'm no fucking lonnie hanks you know i'm no you know in shape though the in shape guys got it easy all you gotta do is be in shape but also here's one issue thicker guys think that just a guy is in shape like dude yeah it's true to me you have a six back in my in my world you might as well be fabio oh that's hilarious man yeah dude there's just i mean it's well it's it's interesting once sex is introduced to and i'm talking a lot about sex today because i want to eventually we're going to talk about your show yes and um and sex is a driving force in a lot of young men's lives you know i think about that it shapes kind of like once you start to learn about sex it's interesting because then your interests like some of them start to disappear a little bit or dissipate because that takes up like 50 of the brain you are preacher of the choir god i cannot tell you i mean i remember before i lost said virginity i would go out my friends and they would always be like trying to get with girls and i would just tell them dude's like let's just hang out at the bar talk a little bit now i kind of get it yeah yeah yeah dude because but then also you're like how's this weaner gonna fit in the vagina like there's so many little things if you don't have a role model to tell you about sex you know yeah did Did your dad tell you anything about sex?

1:28:12Not really, no. Kind of just wung it, yeah. Oh, man. I thought it was funny. But you learn from the streets, otherwise. You learn from the sandwich shoppers. You know what I'm saying? You learn from the subway. You learn from the, you know. If we don't learn from a parent or something. Yeah. So your dad didn't learn you? No, I kind of just wung it and wang it. I don't know if she knew or not. I don't think she did, so I think that means I passed the test, kind of. oh that's a good call i didn't get it is this your first time yeah it's actually the first night i when i was with her i may have went down downtown and she said that she was like oh you're fucking good at this i said wow you know i appreciate that it's one of my first few times that's cool man yeah yeah it's also nerve-wracking bro back then i you know we had some calls a while back about if it would be better if family if uh in some tribes you know there's tribes in africa There's tribes in Europe Where they A older sibling or a father Teaches the child how to masturbate Really?

1:29:18Because then you're learning it You're learning sex from Like it's part of a familial thing It's not as like this taboo thing That like you know Little Richard shows you in the woods one day And he's coming on a lizard or whatever I didn't know masturbation needed to be taught I kind of just thought it was pretty primal but I think you if you have a sibling that teaches you and takes you through it or you have a parent that takes you through it then some I guess there's some cultures where to believe that that's the way to do it you know we've had a lot of callers call in and say yeah my brother taught me how to do it sure which is interesting it would be I'm sure I guess would have been nice to have a guy but trust me I didn't eat one I figured out how to jerk off yeah yeah it was it was that first summer was a was a tough one would you do any cool tricks with your hands to make it different when you would masturbate ever no i mean my left arm sucks dude i can't really i don't think i could jerk off with this thing if i tried oh wow i'm a very right hand dominant like even growing up playing baseball sometimes not that i'm fucking big bruce but growing up playing baseball until i was like 14 like i'm a lefty and that's because you're swinging this way your right hand's coming through pulling the bat around i don't know how righties follow through with your left arm my left arm is so dead i don't know why but this thing is trash yeah am i like if i had to lose this limb i wouldn't even mind really i'd do nothing with this don't jerk off with it don't eat with it i do nothing with it god yeah so i'm very right hand dominant so i'm really just focusing on the right hand jerk off but don't you ever it's almost like sometimes when you want to like i'll use like my language learning app or something it's like sometimes i'll do the same thing i'll masturbate with my left hand it's like i just want to like give my you know you know to try to be not like artsy but to try to like you know learn a new language i guess always switch up a category on pornography on the i'm in the realm in the industry oh yeah so well that kind of brings us to where we are now so you do um you have a show called only stands yes sir only stands so are you kind of like a male do you consider yourself like a like a kind of a like a male do you consider yourself like a male sex symbol or like a journalist no it's funny because i would never consider myself a sex symbol ever because i'm not a sex symbol in the slightest it would be cool to be considered a sex symbol though i feel like you are i feel like you're because i think of you or i see you now i mean i know some of your world and and i know that you love sports you work in barstool sports i know you're involved in that universe but now i see you around you know sexy women and you guys are you know talking about sex yeah it's been fun i mean i definitely consider myself a journalist i'm a i'm a one of the only few only fans journalists in the world try to try to keep the journalist interviewee relationship fine and they always say I'm a journalist so I enjoy it it's so much fun I mean I love beautiful women I love talking to beautiful women I think they're very fun to talk to and the way that most OnlyFans queens are like a lot of podcasts I don't know even if they do podcasts it's rare that they get to just talk about random things I try to just talk about random things and fun things as much as possible and then obviously there's a lot of sex talk because it's fun to just read off hey just had a 10 guy blow bang right you had Whitney on I had Whitney on recently she was amazing I loved her she was so cool she was so funny she's amazing she gave me a bee costume one night what's that mean I don't know she I was at the comedy store and she gave me a bee keeper's uniform oh really for no reason interesting do you still have it yeah still in my truck I don't know so I gotta give her a buzz and check on her but yeah she was great she was like the first time I was really like starstruck by somebody i've been watching roasts since i was 15 so that was very cool oh yeah but you know yeah super cool when he comes on and that was talking oven roasts though yeah sorry like then angela angela white it was great we just had her on she was amazing and now angela white tell me about her so you interview a lot of women that do only fans right so now that only fans has kind of took over the industry since covid covid had a huge up climb because everyone was inside.

1:33:22She just did OnlyFans. So now all the porn stars do OnlyFans as well. And Angela White is like the fucking Ken Griffey Jr. porn. She's amazing. Oh, really? She's amazing. And so she's on OnlyFans. So we had her on. And she was just, I got drinks with her on Sundays. She is just the nicest, one of my most interesting humans that I've met in my life. She's amazing. Yeah. Like amazing. The nicest person I've ever met. We had Whitney on. We had Whitney on. And we talked about how Angela White did a Two Broke Girls porn parody when he made Two Broke Girls. So we watched the clip of Angela White and then made that into a clip for the show.

1:34:01And Whitney texted me. I said to the clip, she said, it's so funny, but we got to get some of the clips of the show in there. And within a second, I texted Angela White. She immediately responded back, talked to the producer, talked to the director, got it all done in 10 minutes. Wow. She's an angel. Angela White is an angel. You know, it is interesting. A lot of strippers and pornography women. Yes, sir. And men, maybe too. I don't know. I don't ever look at. I don't look at the wiener when I look at pornography. Ooh, I do. Really? I enjoy a good blowjob porn. And you look at the wiener? Or you look at the mouth?

1:34:38I think I look at the mouth going up and down, and the wiener's there. Yeah, but I know if you don't want to see the wiener, your brain won't see it. Yeah, I definitely see it. I definitely see it. I enjoy blowjob porn. But there's a lot of different porns out there. My personal favorite is bachelorette party porn. Oh, yeah? Yeah. You ever watch Dancing Bear? Mm-mm. Dude, Dancing Bear is his company. I don't know if they're even still in business. But it'll just be these 25 horny housewives on a bachelorette party. The Dancing Bear rolls in. It's a male stripper with a huge bear mask on. And he just roams around, and they all blow him.

1:35:08Oh, wow. Yeah, I don't know why. I think the idea of a housewife doing that is kind of erotic to me. That's why I like that. It's like the new age door-to-door salesman kind of. Kind of, yeah. Then there's her being intrigued by that. Willie Bloman kind of. Ooh, Willie Bloman. What a fucking pun that is. Is that Death of a Salesman? I think it was, huh? Yeah, yeah. So now when you, but now tell me this. So how does that start to influence your sex world? Because look, I try to stay off of pornography, right? I respect it. I've seen it all. I know what they're doing. But my problem is I start to then think of sex only in like the frames and the things you see on pornography, right?

1:35:45Yeah. So it's like, I'll think of like, and I notice this even like with a lot of women now, it's like you hook up and it's just like little things. It's almost like you just go through these vignettes that are on pornography. It doesn't even feel like a lot about like physical touch anymore. 100%. And a lot of guests have said that porn makes people delusional about how sex actually is. Not every time you're having sex, is a girl going to be screaming at the top of her lungs. That's just not going to happen. Yeah. So they always say stuff like that. but me oh a lot of times if you're having sex the girl's not even gonna be screaming at the top of a low murmur or saying anything i'm talking like this oh yeah oh i'm the dude during sex i am the silent assassin i know i was saying that too on an episode a few months ago some girls were talking about what what you should do when you're getting like head or something i said i don't really i don't don't say anything i say yeah sometimes someone yeah someone one of the girls was saying like um just be like oh you're you're a good little slut pat her head i'm like i'm not fucking saying that shit, dude.

1:36:40It's crazy. It's crazy. So I just like to stay quiet. Yeah, I would say, yeah.

1:36:49I would say, oh, we got to get out of here. Sometimes I'll say stuff like that. I think I a lot of times feel like I'm about to get caught. So, and I think that comes from having had sex outdoors. I think that comes from, you know, I got BJ'd behind a thin tree when I was young. so people could see the sides but not the actual act. It wasn't a Redwoods. It was tiny. Oh, yeah. I mean, it was. So you were doing some public sex, dude. Just the way it happened. You know, I know I didn't have a place where somebody really could come over to my place. And a lot of poor people, you know, the early sex is outdoors.

1:37:26Interesting. But yeah, I totally get it. I think I'm sure a lot of people. There's many, many, many outdoor videos on OnlyFans. People definitely enjoy the thrill of being outdoor, I guess. and I guess viewers enjoy the thrill of is this person going to get caught? That's a huge thing. Have you seen the compilation of bee stings during outdoor porn? I have not, but maybe that's a correlation of why Wendy Cummings got you a bee costume. How about that? Full circle. I love that. So has that but is that hard though? Because if you're a guy who grew up with not a ton of sex, right? Yes, sir. Which is most guys.

1:38:00I mean, I had one sex person, two sex persons, women until high uh college right yeah if you had a bunch of if you had a lot of sex in high school you're a dickhead oh you're gross bro you're a rapist douche i think right like if you had a lot of sex in high school dude you're a loser yeah dude if you got chicks in high school dork yeah you're a sick fuck homie but um uh yeah no the show it's not that doesn't make it that different for me honestly if anything it's it's i've noticed that girl normal girls think i'm like fucking every guest they say you have all these hot women on your show and i'm like we're just doing a podcast like that's really it at the end of the day but i've had just a you know i've had women here and when they i don't you know i've had women in any time a woman's around a lot of times you don't want them to leave you know it's like you get attracted to women is it hard to separate the work you know oh yeah nothing it depends honestly it depends on the girl like there's definitely girls i've had on my show that that we clearly vibe a little bit and there's Maybe some of them will get dinner afterwards.

1:39:04Like me and Angel Light got dinner that night. A few have gotten drinks with afterwards, but like nothing crazy. Can you legally make love to them or can you legally date them? Is that even a legal thing? I guess you could. I don't see why not. I mean, I haven't, wouldn't. I think either way, it would be unprofessional if I said maybe did it that night of the podcast, which I never have. But I think that would be towing a line. I would say maybe if, let's say I did a podcast and one of them lived in LA and the next month I was in LA and she was like, oh, let's get drinks. I would say, and then if we, five, once again, never happened.

1:39:37If that happened, I guess that would be okay, right? That's two consenting adults. Yeah. Yeah, and sometimes you watch the stuff. Do you have to watch porn to prepare for your guests then? That has to be. Sometimes, because most of my guests, there's porn girls and OnlyFans girls. Most of them are OnlyFans girls, so not all of them do porn. That's a good point. Not all of them do porn. Sorry. There's a lot that are just – some don't even post their boobs. Some literally don't even post boobs and make astronomical amount of money. So my guess vary from full-blown porn stars like Angela White, two girls that literally don't even post their boobs to Whitney Comics, who does comedy and OnlyFans.

1:40:16So it's whatever. But I mean if – But he's got them freaking hammers on her, boy. Yeah. Well, respect. Oh, dude. Respect. She got them fucking taunts, baby. Respect. She said it. She knows it. But yeah, so it really just depends on the guest. I'll definitely tune in. I got to subscribe for science, for research the day of. But how do you just jerk and all of them? They come in. Like, how do you even? I don't jerk off every time I look at it, you know? But it's so hard not to. The algorithm is set where you're going to skeet at the end, buddy. That's true. But then again, it's also, it depends on what they're posting on their OnlyFans.

1:40:50Not everybody's posting the peak of what you want to see. What's your OnlyFans bill every month? um i think i subscribe to like 28 accounts but honestly a lot of them are free so a lot of girls do free accounts and then they'll charge in the dms for a whole bunch of money for the nudity or whatnot so i don't i don't like i buy everything in the dms i would say the bill a month maybe 100 200 bucks it really not many girls do too many um high prices a lot are free wow and and i really i don't buy much content from my guests i literally just look at it sounds stupid but journalist i'll just look at like when you subscribe to them the dm that comes up what they're offering how much they're offering stuff for i've also found like a great way to prepare for the guests to go through their twitters like they're just they always tweet fun stuff tiktok stuff yeah a lot of dating questions like talk about dating but um no actually the porn itself i don't watch too much of the porn i also i also do it at work i feel like i can't watch too much porn at work then again it's work but it does there's something that feel if you're watching important work there's something that feels like you are not doing well would you agree with that yeah if you're if you tune it into if you tune it into uh if you're on x hamster at the job site it's probably not the best you never want to log into x hamster from nine to five yeah but yeah i mean hey it happens there there's there's some porn girls and some only fans girls and honestly they're all great i'm a massive fan of all of them interesting man so you so you're able to separate the work and the sex a hundred percent like a big thing too is uh like the first episode we did we had this girl genie xamon and she offered me to be in an only fans video with her that's what i saw you and caleb talking about when caleb was in here last time she offered me to be in an only fans video with her meaning me and her having sex and i don't know i just did you consider it no i said no instantly i just i don't really see the i really first off i told my mom and want to make a sex tape ever, which I'll oblige by.

1:42:47Okay. And number two, I, like I said earlier, I really don't have a, I want to do a chase. If you're just offering me sex, I'm not interested, kind of. I want to be able to get it properly. I like the whole idea of that. So there is some romantic, you're romantic kind of in a way. I would say so. Yeah. I want to know I could charm a lady. Yeah. Like there's times I'll be out of the, like there's times I've been at a bar, obviously I'll do whatever, but when you're at a bar and a girl just says yes to, hey, you want to go back? That's just as good. Right. That's just as good. Okay, so sometimes that will oblige it.

1:43:22That'll oblige the itch. Yeah, just follow it and be like, oh, she said yes, we're good here. She said, yeah, I'm happy. I'm happy with it. Right. I should, yeah. But on a regular, but if you have your wits about you and you haven't drank in a day or two and you're thinking to yourself, you know, I'd like to meet a woman. I'd like to, you know, be a man of stature, kind of to quote John Mulaney. Yeah. I just love talking to women. Yeah. I love women. Well, now, see, do you think it's increased your ability to speak to women on the regular, or do you think you still kind of compartmentalize it in one and the other?

1:43:53Like your show and then meeting a woman in the wild. I do think I've always been good at talking to women, but I think it was more in a friend zone type of way. Definitely in a friend zone type of way. Now I think I talk to women and at least they like look at me as remotely some sort of a sexual object, which is nice. But I would say that I was actually watching a Chris Rock stand up. Not even a stand up. He was on Fallon, I think, like last week actually. And he was saying he was trying to get with Rihanna once he got single. And Rihanna didn't even look at him as a sexual object. She like uncle-ized him, he said.

1:44:27That's almost how I kind of felt like it was back in the day. Now I feel like at least I'm not being – I'm being sexualized. Okay. So now at least you have some sexual object. I think I got a fighting chance. I was going to battle without a sword. Now I at least have a sword. Right. Which I'll take. Right. You were never Babe Ruth, but now you're at least Ruth. Yeah. Or Babe. Babe Ruth, anybody. Yeah. I'll just be, I'll be a solid 250 hitter, 20 home runs a year, 80 RBIs. I'm happy with that. Yeah. I don't need to be Babe Ruth. But now I'm going to battle. I at least got a sword. I got a hammer.

1:44:57I got something with me. Right. Interesting, man. Yeah. I've just kind of been curious what that world's like. It's a fun world. Yeah. I'm sure. Well, look, I mean, you get to talk to women. We get excited when we get women in here. Yeah, then really they're all very, very cool. They're cool chicks. Yeah, I have some close friends that are OnlyFans or do OnlyFans. It's kind of become a way that women can take the control of the sexual industry if they're involved in any form of the sexual industry or even just like an artistic element of sex. Yeah, it doesn't even, honestly, it doesn't even need to be sex.

1:45:36I know girls will do the cooking content on it. Right, right. I guess sexualized something. 100%. And then if you're a good-looking chick, like, there's just so many of them that just make so much money. And like I said, really don't even post nudity. It's a wild world. Now, what suggestions would you have? Say that there's women that don't think of themselves as sexy women, right? They don't think of themselves. They see like a, you know, like one of these blonde kind of, trying to think of something. A blonde bombshell. Yeah, blonde bombshell. fucking Hermione Granger or whatever and you know in a two-piece or whatever and they're like I can't be that Right, how do they create an OnlyFans that could be marketable?

1:46:15Well, that's what a lot of people say. I mean they're only from the one of the beautiful things about OnlyFans is so many girls There's a market for everything I've learned. Yeah, literally a market for everything So if you're not feeling maybe like a maybe like Bo Derek There's still probably guys that are in the market for what for what you're selling yeah and that's just completely a fact i mean one of my favorite questions to ask every guest i'll ask every guest this is what is your most interesting odd subscriber request you've come across from your subscribers and they all say the most ridiculous things there's there's people out there that will like you for you no matter what there's there's a there's a category for everybody i think and that that's i've learned that yes do you think it's healthy for women to do only fans do you have do you ever do you gain any thought on it by getting to meet a lot of these ladies and uh have you what do you think about that i think it's an it's an interesting it's interesting and it depends on the way they think about themselves kind of like if there's a there's a lot of girls that will complain to me about they can't find a boyfriend because they're doing only fans or something and i'll tell them all the time like i say this all the time there was a point in in my career at barstool where so many comments about me were like very very mean and like i would i just said to myself i'm not gonna like i just gonna stop reading them because i i don't want I don't mean this to sound the wrong way, but I think like probably if there's like some guy, and these are also people that are commenting super mean shit about me on Twitter.

1:47:34So that guy probably is more mad at himself. I guess he doesn't like himself and he's just deflecting that onto me to be mean to me. So I'm telling the girls that I'm, I always tell them even off camera, I'm telling them if someone is being mean to you, calling you, let's say a whore about for being an OnlyFans, they're probably just jealous that they can't do what you do. that they don't have that opportunity to do what you do. Because let me tell you, the money they make and what they do, it's unbelievable. OnlyFans, it's a crazy platform. And anyone that would make fun of them for doing that, I just think it's crazy.

1:48:05They're geniuses. I often say they're geniuses, and they're literally geniuses. Well, I mean, it's like, yeah, people will call you a whore. They will call you a fat. They will call you a piss baby or whatever. But a lot of that is on them. it's on them i've never i've often said this i've never wanted to talk shit about somebody that i didn't care about if that makes sense that you yeah you didn't have some like you know there wasn't some ink intrigue yes yeah if there's like i'll i'll often see like maybe a maybe a douchey looking dude with a really hot girlfriend he's tatted up and oh my god this fucking guy yeah like the only fans girls it's one thing i say they love to fuck the guys the OnlyFans uptick was huge for the tattoo community.

1:48:51Really? They're all banging tattooed guys. Wow. Yeah, it's crazy. What is that, you think? I don't know. How do tattooed guys... Dude, you'd be shocked. And I'll say this, a tattooed girl, pasty skin, you know what I'm saying? That boo-radley skin. You're out on a tattoo lady? Hmm? You're out on a girl tattoo, like a full sleeve, you don't find that attractive? Oh, yeah, yeah, I do. I mean I like that you know if there's a pasty like you know some girl who's just like oh dang I'm oh you know fuck I'm ready yeah they're intimidating gals but the dudes they the girls love tattooed guys every guy they're fucking is they got their basically their dick is tattooed we can also tattoo crazy stuff around your wiener that makes it seem awesome you could tattoo like a large dick you know four inches ahead you know like like like uh you know stop you know turn around here for more dude have you ever seen the show gigolos by any chance on showtime oh it's fantastic it's great television it was like a lot it was basically a i think a fake reality show that was on showtime i found it after dark one night in high school and just these four gigolos hanging out in vegas and fucking chicks doing their job one of the guys on that show nick hawk he had the tattoo where it was basically almost like venom from the spider-man movies was taking over half his body so like all this was tattoo just black like Venom was taking over him and it went all the way down to the tip of his dick.

1:50:13Like literally his shaft was tattooed. Full shaft. Wow. Yeah. You know a lot of men that are secretly gay will ask their wife to get like

1:50:27butt cheeks tattooed around their vagina. Really? Yeah. I guess it kind of makes sense you know. Yeah. A vagina tattoo sounds pretty rough though. this homeless person to dictate to it, to dictate to it over a fact you gotta stay hard for. Or they'll have him write like, this is a bud and like point at it or something, you know, anyway, I just, it's not down there. It's up there. Yeah. It's just interesting. What are some like moments like working with, like as a sidekick with Caleb, what has it been like? Has there been some unique moments? Like he told us about a time when you guys got to hang out with Aaron Rogers all day.

1:51:02Because yeah, we only see that. Oh, that's you guys. Yeah. That's my phone background. wow dude i mean like i can't i've watched that clip a bunch of times from the show but like caleb said he he was just the coolest the coolest person i've probably ever come in contact with he was amazing and he was as caleb said he was like old school cool it almost felt like you were hanging out with frank sinatra he just had that vibe about him he was just the coolest guy and just amazing we hung out with him drank for hours and could not have been nicer and just he was a joy but yeah we've had some weird some weird ones i mean in the last year i would say the two craziest things that we've done thanks to caleb and just on the conversation i guess i fucking sang rock star with nickelback on stage that was sick and then i want to be a rock star and um yeah no i mean the biggest one which like i still don't even let my brain think about is fucking we had a drew brymore on the conversation i kissed you brymore oh that's right you did huh fucking drew brymore did they make you do anything before like did they test your mouth did they swab you did they like frisk your jowls or whatever for anything so drew walked in and i'm i've always been a massive drew brymore fan probably my favorite actress i'm obsessed with drew brymore oh yeah she's like the hot macaulay me and my mom have been watching wedding singer together since i was a baby i love drew brymore just hearing her voice first i heard her voice i was so starstruck and then cale so caleb hands me this thing he says we wrote a quick script at the end we're gonna talk to drew about it she walks in he said okay drew you and glenn you're gonna do a quick skit at the end you're gonna pretend you guys are at a restaurant in australia because i was dressed like an australian man and then it's saying um drew says oh no i don't want to eat what i want is you and then it's like go in for a kiss and we obviously tell her before you don't have you guys don't have to kiss but just like get up and like pretend to go in for a kiss but do whatever you want and then we're doing it this part got cut we're shooting the whole time and all the time sitting there saying what's gonna happen what's gonna happen here and before i forgot what caleb best her but she was basically saying in her acting career she's never wanted to fake things and then i'm telling myself does this mean this is me drew barrymore's about to kiss me right now and the way she was talking she kept saying she never fakes things in acting and we started reading it and as you see there she got up out of her chair and then came up and sat still like right in front of me and then said the line then she went in for a kiss and then we kissed and i just said to myself is that i just fucking kissed drew barrymore that's otherworldly Drew Barrymore is up a echelon.

1:53:27It's fucking Drew Barrymore, dude. And then we fucking, Caleb told her, well, not that we just did this for fun. We had to. As you see in the clip too, we had to get a shot of us both going in directly. So we had to get the cameras closer. So we had to shoot it again. And she did it again. I kissed her twice. Now, the second time, you have to feel like you're in a little relationship. I did. I said to myself, am I about to go to dinner with Drew Barrymore? Am I about to date Drew Barrymore? I would be so down to date Drew Barrymore. like so so so down with adrew brymore oh man and i know i was pretty excited when she posted on instagram i think she posted that clip and she tagged me before caleb no big deal but she seems really cool she seems like she's gotten into the uh like the podcast social media space like she gets it you know yeah she was just some people that are like getting real like really late to the train of like being okay with doing social media she was so nice and i will say which is kind of shocking now we've never really had a mean guest per se i think as the guests get bigger and bigger i'm noticing there's a reason why they get why they're so big and i think it's because they're just like good people everyone is just so nice there's really no one that's mean not that i want to be mean but like they're all just exceedingly nice like overbearingly nice she was amazing like drake was so nice to us rogers was so nice to us yeah he told us about that what about um who was one that you didn't get to spend time with so there's a there's a difference between a lot of them will be well like caleb said on when he was on here like well they'll book it our booking people will book it and then they'll just be in and out like ice cube walked in and walked out um kodak black walked in and walked out then people we've hung out with and we hung out with rogers a lot drake took us to dinner um who were some other good ones we just bro'd down with let's see drew drew left after but i mean it was drew ragmore she's last leave steven a left after what are some other good hangs we had michael ervin hung out with us for a little bit but yeah he seems really entertaining i would like to see uh paul uh um i would like to see on there um joey b would be good oh joe borrow yeah yeah i think he'd be great um my current uh dream one i think is probably larry david yeah i think larry david would not only be like a few guests are mean to me which is fine i don't really care i think larry david would both be mean to me and Caleb and he would just kind of take it over, which I think would be hilarious.

1:55:46And I think kind of my other, I know he's going through stuff right now, but I think Jamie Foxx would be really funny. I think Jamie Foxx would be a great one. So I guess those are my current White Whales. Yeah, I think, who else? I would love to have on here is Quaid, Randy Quaid. Ooh. I think it would be amazing. You guys, Dustin Poirier would be great on your show. I think Caleb might try to get him next year. Randy Quaid? Where'd you get that from? He's just like, he's just so, I just, I don't know. I just wonder about his journey, what he's been up to. He's such like this iconic actor and played such an iconic character in National Lampoon.

1:56:24I don't know. I think I would just be intrigued. Would he be your acting world, Wai Will? No, I'd probably go Julia Roberts first. Respect. Who doesn't love Julia Roberts? God, dude. If she only knew what I would love to, if I just, I just want to sit on a porch with her somewhere and watch her read something. and watch to have like a sweet tea with her. For some reason, I could see her enjoying her sweet tea. I don't think she'd let me sit that close to her, but that would be fine. Well, I picture a porch. I picture a large porch, rocking chairs back and forth, like maybe the distance we're at right now.

1:56:54Julia Roberts would be a cool one. I really would say for myself, I think in the actress realm, Drew Bynum would have been my pick. I do believe that. I mean, obviously like Sandler would be cool. Oh yeah, Sandler, Channing Tatum, I think would be good. Tatum. Who else? But yeah, my top right now is like Larry David, Jamie Foxx, Sandler. Yeah, I'd be my top three. I met Trump at the UFCs. Oh, yeah. Just like last week in Miami, right? Yeah. How was that? It was interesting, man. I mean, you're like, you know, I mean, I love being at UFC, right? So it's like, for me, it is literally, it's like being, like, you ever been baptized or whatever?

1:57:33Yeah, I got baptized. It's like that. Don't recall it, but yeah. I mean, I feel like I've never been to UFC, but just the vibe of it, how they just have everybody there, just seems like one big i guess for you obviously just an interesting vip party it's a who's it's almost like uh like the oscars for cool guys if that makes sense it feels like it's the who's who of actually who has some fucking nuts you know that's what it feels like a little bit and i'm not even saying me but it feels like you know that's the energy that dana has you know yes um you know i got to talk to him for like maybe 12 minutes just even talk about like some work stuff and he's had a lot of great success in what he was sharing and stuff like that.

1:58:14And so that was really cool, how to work with advertisers, some business stuff. But then Kid Rock is there, he rolls in with Trump. We're in Dana White's dress green room, right? And I've been trying to do some, maybe some social media stuff with UFC. So it was my first time doing some of that. But I get to be backstage by the fighters. It's like you're getting baptized, but right when you come up, two dudes are beating the fuck out of each other, right? Yeah. So it's like that, bro. And yeah, there's just so much going on. You turn this way, somebody's sad, because they're going through defeat in agony.

1:58:50This way, somebody's a hero. This way, somebody just flatlined. This way, there's like some ring model trying on a new top. This way, there's Joe Burrow in the Bosa Boys. Yeah, Justin Jefferson was there, I think. Yeah, I saw a bunch of people there. This way, there's just some lady that's there that has the biggest tits ever, right? And it's like she has some jacked dude who's literally carrying one of her tits. Probably tatted up. Oh, he was so tatted. Of course he was. And she can't even carry both tits, so she's balanced, and he's literally carrying the other tits. I want to be that guy. I want that job.

1:59:22Oh, so there's so much going on. But then Trump rolled in, and it was just interesting. I'd never met a president before, and I'd never met Donald Trump before. war now don't take us the wrong way but do he did he know who you were no he didn't his son knows uh knows me donald jr and um i don't know if his other son eric knew or not but it was just interesting you know yeah him and mike tyson rolled in at the same time i'm assuming him he's going to this event i mean everybody's going to just be there and he's going to have to say kind of make it seem like he knows you no matter who he's talking to because he where he is everybody is i guess of notoriety now as a as a person that gets to go to those things do you would you say you're more excited going into the night to see the fights or just the spectacle of it oh i think the fights uh for sure yeah i've never been to one where you're that close up that close up that seems like kind of a once you go there you can't sit can't sit up high yeah i mean i think i i would just to see the fights but it definitely i felt real fortunate you know uh to go and yeah you're just seeing these guys and like i mean they're putting it on the line you know like i think in in a lot of ways, comedians, strippers, fighters.

2:00:36Yes, sir. Anybody that does something that puts themselves out there, you're all trying to gain to be seen in some way. You're all using something you have to attract, to get acceptance kind of in a way. A hundred percent. I mean, I've never done stand-up. That's one thing I always tell myself. If I ever go to a comedy club or my friends send a clip of somebody doing stand-up, I will never say anything bad about anybody in stand-up. If you have the balls to get up there, all power to you. Yeah. All power to you. Yeah, that's how I am about fighters, I think, because it's just so, like, I always had a tough time defending myself when I was a kid, and so, you know, I didn't feel like I had protection and shit, so you get to see these guys who are doing it and find out the different reasons that they're doing it, and to me, it's real fascinating.

2:01:22Did you get into a lot of fights growing up? No. I got into maybe six fights. oh you know that's hot and uh we had a lot of brothers in the area too so every now and then a brother will flare up out of nowhere you know and you'll be in a fight but um but yeah but it was it was it was interesting yeah and trump's just like you're good how are you doing you're doing good he's in president mode yeah you're great you're doing great your parents are doing good you know it's with the parents it was just he's so like yeah he said you know i was like my dad's been dead for like 22 years and he's like but before that he was doing great he's in paradise i'm like you know what he was he was doing great before that i kind of like i was like you know i appreciate that that was worth the price of admission that was better than any fight you're gonna see but yeah he's yeah he's just funny but it was fun though man it was just that was that was a spectacle and uh yeah just to get to meet like Joe Bro, and then to get to listen to Dana and get to just be in the, see all the fans, it was great what else, let's get into some news, what do we got Zach E This is the story we were talking about earlier.

2:02:30There's a teacher in Oregon who's on leave right now because he assigned students in class to write their sexual fantasy for a report. did he not check with anybody else before he did this you can uh read it for yourself right here zoom in there you can you read it yeah for those students who are absent you'll write a short story or paragraph or two stories of sexual fantasy that will have no penetration of any kind or oral sex so no way of passing an icd you will choose three items romantic music candles massage oil feather or boa flavored syrup to use your story your story should show that you can show uh how your go about receiving love and affection without having sex i don't think that's that bad right it's only worth 10 points it says 10 points for and you don't wonder how much of the whole semester though but that's not horrible i mean you're not there is no pen i guess if you have to say no penetration oral sex then it's not that great because you're in school but that sounds kind of fun yeah look i think i'm not like i think 40 years ago i could see them doing this in school this sounds like something you'd read out of the 70s that happened you know like when like it was more like free love i think and it was like you know tell us a you know write a soft core romance novel unless they've been reading something like this in school i mean it's interesting because all kids are thinking about at this age or what a lot of them are occupied by is sexual thoughts and energy fact 100 like you have people there's some kids you pat them on the back hard enough and they will ejaculate yeah you know and so you it's like that's just what's going on in their bodies so i wonder if there is good ways to do to create like positive sexual uh works that you're doing in school if there is going to be one i mean i guess it's that there's there's no there's no penetration or oral you could do a romantic a romantic tune maybe some of the weekend or something like that that's always fun and then yeah they mentioned the flavored syrup the foods maybe they could throw in some oysters they didn't mention oysters there they could throw in some oysters yeah it's not a bad idea just maybe a home date get some oysters shuck them yourselves get horny through that throw on the tunes that could be a paragraph or two for that class yeah yeah i think yeah that would be interesting and now i'll tell you this everybody's gonna show up to school to rut to re-listen to other people's but is it gonna lead to people sending each other, some people doing semen on a piece of paper and folding it up and giving it some, that Rorschach test.

2:05:16Are they going to come just from hearing the stories in class? Right. Maybe if there's a way to tell it properly, I would imagine you can't really tell it properly, though, in school. I hope that's also not a project you're reading that loud. That sounds like a teacher only. But if the teacher only is reading it, to me, that has hella perv vibes, dude. And then how do you know who's getting an A and who's getting a D? Yeah. What differentiates that one? Yeah. And if anybody gets a D, dude, that guy's going to jail. Yeah, and if maybe the most beautiful girl in class is walking out with an A +, and I'm walking in there with a D, it's not a good look.

2:05:51Even though my grammar may have been better. Dude, I remember somebody threatening a Spanish teacher in our bathroom and threatened to beat the shit out of him if they didn't get a B, and he gave him a B. Oh, really? I wonder how often that, I wonder how often stuff like that actually works with teachers. My high school, my high school, there was like, we had tests at the end of every trimester that was worth about 30 % of our grade. And then the average of those three trimesters was half of it. Then the other half was comps. And the end of the year test would be 50 % of our grade. So my buddy literally at the end of senior year or junior year, whenever you're applying to colleges, he was so, I was bad at math.

2:06:32he took it to a new level. He would be, he would truly average, I think his average was like a 45. He's an idiot. One of my best friends. Oh yeah, my friend. Great voice, great singer, one of my best friends, but he was really bad in math. Great singer. Great singer now. Two times seven is nine. He sings like grunge, 90s. But yeah, and he legitimately wrote a paragraph to the teacher at the end on the last thing saying I really don't want to go to community college. Like please, for the love of God, pass me. He got passed. Wow. Yeah. there's something about it look there's a way sometimes you know to get things done and some people are able to do that i think in this instance man i i feel like this is something you do in college i feel like it's a little risque to do it in high school um i think it would be fine probably but then also if i'm a high school kid dude i'm jerking off dude you know the second i get this assignment i'm doing the whole time i'm doing it you know if a girl if i try to write homework with a friend.

2:07:29I'm going to try, you know. I also want to show up. This is a ninth period class, not a first period class. I want to go directly home after this. Not a first. Imagine getting this first period. You got to hear some erotica at 9 a.m. Yeah. A little bathroom break. Yeah, you just roll into the hall with a mouth full of sprees. Nah, this has got to be ninth period. This has got to be last period. Dude, you have a mouth full of fucking sweet tarts. You're just rocked up. And then everyone's probably walking around the hallway saying who had the best sex story of the day. And everyone's exchanging sex stories.

2:07:56This seems to be a ninth period type of thing. Wow, that's interesting. But then also, it's like, who could become a graphic novelist? And this is where they start, and this is where they learn that they have that ability. What else we got, Zach? Well, you mentioned The Weeknd. This is a big deal. AI generated a fake song of Drake in The Weeknd, which is, I guess a lot of people in the industry are very concerned by this, obviously. Because I can't play the song, but if you hear it, it's pretty, it sounds like it's an actual track from these guys. Really? So someone has said AI create a fake weekend Drake collab.

2:08:28Yes. Well, you got to shut AI down, dude. It's freaking me out. Okay. So the people are just saying, hey, make this video, make this song. It can do it. It can. I can't confirm. Like I actually, I don't know if he wants me to say this because we didn't put it in. I don't know if he showed you this either, but for Drake, Caleb made, used AI to make a Drake something conversation song. And then we played it for him and he like enjoyed it. It sounded like Drake, and it was a full song that Caleb wrote, and it was a full Drake song. It was a legit rap. So Caleb wrote it, though. So AI didn't write it.

2:09:02No, Caleb wrote it, but on whatever the technology was, it literally sounded like Drake doing a whole rap. There was a beat, rap. It was like Sunday Conversation, shout out Caleb Glenn, all that. So what could we put in right now? Could we put something in AI? We could put in a prompt, like a writing prompt. Can we put like, have a Glenny Bowles give a wedding speech? You could do something like that? Yeah. The chat GPT thing. Yeah, that thing can. I experienced this for the first time like last month. Yeah, we think a lot about this stuff. It's just like, I find that the stuff you get a lot of times, it just feels like a dumb version of something.

2:09:40It feels like kind of a rip off. Of the AI stuff? Of whatever you're creating. Yeah, if I say, can I get a Glenny Bowles like restaurant review or whatever? Well, there's going to be no personality. It's a goddamn computer doing it. So I definitely get it. But I mean, if you want to, I feel like if you're writing in work toad, you can probably pull it off. Like we know when people start off work emails saying kind regards. What's your point? Or hey all, stuff like that. Maybe people like that, like people working for tax firms can get away with it. Right. Do this, do these taxes maybe? Yeah, like a wedding speech right now.

2:10:12If they're going to have me do a wedding speech. I want to imagine, actually I'm going to be the best man at a wedding in October for the first time. So I got to give a speech. I've been thinking about it. I want to personalize it to the couple, you know? Right. I want to make it homey. Let's see what it would be. Do you want to read it? I'll read it, yeah. Yeah, I mean, read some, yeah. Oh, wait, can you just go? Sorry. What's up, everybody? It's your boy, Glennie Balls. Today is a special day because we're here to celebrate the love between these two amazing people. I feel honored to be standing here in front of all of you to give this speech, but let me tell you, I am a little nervous.

2:10:43I mean, I'm used to being in front of cameras before, but this is a whole different ballgame. First of all, I want to congratulate the happy couple. You guys are awesome, and I'm so happy for you both. I remember when you first told me about you two, and I could just tell right away that you were meant to be together. You just had this connection, this spark that's undeniable, and now here you are about to embark on this amazing journey together as husband and wife. To me, what does it feel like to you so far? It feels like a cookie-cutter wedding speech. And it goes, I have to admit, when I was asked to get this speech, I wasn't sure what to say.

2:11:15I mean, what do you say at a wedding? But then I realized it's actually pretty simple. You just have to speak from the heart and that's exactly what I'm going to do. Yeah, this keeps going. Yeah, it sounds like somebody trying to get through an essay that has like the original, like four good sentences. As someone that has to do a best man speech in October, I might use this and just like add a little bit, like find different things I could put in there because that does sound pretty damn good. It's a good point. And now that's one thing about just life, you know, It's like... It's doing one in your voice now, in the voice of Theo Vaughn, because I think the more search someone has online, the better it's going to be at writing one.

2:11:53Okay, I'll read the beginning and go back. What's up, y 'all? It's your boy Theo Vaughn in the house. Oh, it's a cap, dude. That's horrible. I got to say, I'm honored to be here today celebrating the union of these two beautiful people. Y 'all know I've been to some wild weddings in my time, but this one takes the cake. and speaking of cake, I hope there's going to be some good eats up in here tonight. Jesus Christ. Tell me it, brother. I think I switched it. Brother, that made me sound like a freaking black guy.

2:12:22I mean, I appreciate that. Dude, I love that. I don't know if you hit shift B and freaking gave me the hashtag bold. People send this stuff out. I can say fans send in A.I. Theo Vaughn voice every day. Every single day. Yeah, this just seems, to me it's fine, but it's just like if you want. but you're all right that it gives you the bare bones of something it feels like it'll give us a good talking point a list of talking points and I literally may use that it's a nice bare bones way to start if I get married I'll do it for vows I think you now this could definitely be a lot for if you're doing papers in college if you're doing something for the boss like or you know some pretty generic stuff where all you're doing is just kind of checking a box anyway where it should be literally sound computerized it's meant to sound computerized right 100 % That's a good call.

2:13:07For anybody that's still having to do just basic stuff that doesn't even really matter, but it does because it's checking a box, I feel like that could probably be really something of use to you. But then, more than ever, having some sort of personality is going to be of value. Yeah, I mean, there's no reason why if I was doing a normal work, let's say I had to report to a higher up after a good week of work. Why don't I just put in there great week of work for everybody on the team with Melissa, Kelsey, and Bill, and then just copy and paste it, personalize it myself, bing, bang, boom, send it out, I'm done.

2:13:41Every Civil War paper from school is going to be done here. It's like any war, any history papers, it's a wrap, right? Yeah, does it do like stuff like that? Can you just write? Can I have a 300-word summary of the Civil War? Yeah. Whoa. They should do the sexual fantasy prompt to it and have it right for the kids. See, now, if you're on there, though, and let's say someone on there is on there in Wisconsin and types in the same exact thing, are you getting the same exact answer? Well, let... Yes, that's the problem. Okay. Let's do the sexual thing for the children. And that's... Somebody's going to clip that out.

2:14:14That's going to be the bane of my existence, dude. Let's do the sexual thing for the children. I'll go down with you bro no we just fucking bro it's so hard to talk anymore because people are just making everything out of any moment I have to manually write it because it's a screen grab I can't like copy and paste it so check back on this towards the end give us another topic and then we'll get back to it at the end what else happened what's something big in the headlines I saw that there's that Chinese Sun did you see that article somewhere Zach You know what I'm talking about? Yeah, Chinese artificial sun breaks new world record by burning hot plasma for nearly seven minutes.

2:14:56Now, this is interesting. That's some Spider-Man 2 type shit. That's what Doc Ock was doing. Get us to the beginning of it, Zach. All right. Yes, you read that correctly. The country has a huge device. China has a huge device that has been able to generate a plasma temperature of 160 million degrees Celsius for 20 seconds in the past. Right? So that's as hot as the sun, right? I would say so. That does not sound good. If not, it's still really hot. But that's 20 seconds in the past. Can you zoom up? Zoom down, sorry. According to the Global Times, the East performed a high-power, stable, steady-state, long-pulse, high-confinement mode plasma operation for a whopping 703 seconds now.

2:15:40That's like six minutes. Yeah. Holy shit. Bro, can you imagine? That's how long it takes me to drive to the fucking deli and stuff, dude. That's fucking insane. Yeah. That's enough time for you to drive to a deli. 106 minutes? So imagine, say, it's like, dude, if China makes a fake sun. I mean, that's the biggest weapon on the planet by far, obviously. Unreal. You give me fake sun against nuclear weapon, I'm going fake sun. What if the nuclear weapon theoretically just disintegrate into the fake sun? Well, dude, imagine they send a fake sun to fight a real sun. A real sun. Marvel's out of business What are we gonna strike back with the moon?

2:16:17No No the moon I think is low key Yeah dog No disrespect But he's I've heard you know I heard we're going back though People said a lot of things about him But Fire always beats ice Which is a problem for us And they're first to the jump on fire Bro imagine though You're already working all day in China And now they're like Guess what the day's over We got another day The sun's back The sun's back People are like what the fuck But it's not big enough to go to the whole country. It's going to be like eating your town specifically. Just two extra hours per town? Beijing's just getting fucked up tonight with my son.

2:16:52And then it goes over to out of even nowhere. Bro, imagine all the school kids going to be like, you are my son, Shin, my only son, Shin. Dude, get home. It's going to change all the songs. Dude, they can't have another song. That would be unfair. The itsy bitsy spider went up the water spout. Owl. Owl. That turned the sun. Yeah. Two times. But now spiders are going to be anywhere. Ugh. It's a tough day for owls in China, huh? Yeah. Yeah, dude. Owls, dude. Owls out. Owl of business, bro. It's a wrap. What are some other nocturnal animals? I don't know many. But dude, if they have a fake fucking sun, Zach.

2:17:31Yeah, that's kind of a checkmate. I don't know what's bigger than a checkmate of a fake sun, which I guess theoretically is a real sun. but when you can right but when you can create your people to work 20 when you have like no night when you can have people work all day and then have a second group of people so your GDP is going to double so you're saying this sun is more it's going to get more people to work I'm thinking the sun itself just having a second sun is a weapon in itself yeah I mean you could say like they don't want us to get any sleep that's their first it's like we all go to bed and they're like guess what Nevada here's a sun at night you're like oh shit here comes the Chinese sun I'm envisioning this is just like a burning thing.

2:18:09If they're just throwing a ball of 160 million temperature Celsius at us, we're kind of fucked. I don't know if you could throw a sun. Well, I think you send it. Yeah. I feel like it's a guess, right? It's going to be sponsored by Happy Dad, I bet. Maybe. I have no idea. I have the fantasy if you want to read it. All right. So I abridged it slightly, but it's just write a short story in a paragraph or two. No penetration of any kind or oral sex. choose three items to use. So if anyone wants to read it. I want you to read it. This is your world. She walked to the dimly lit room. And this is a child.

2:18:46Sorry. And I just want to preface. I'm sorry to interrupt you. This is a child, your student, writing this to you. You are the substitute teacher or you are the teacher. Yes. And you've had the kids write this paper. She walked into the dimly lit room wearing nothing but a silk robe and high heels. As she approached the bed, she reached into her pocket and pulled out a small vibrating egg. She turned it on and placed it on her clit, moaning softly on her CLIT as the pleasure pulsed through her body. Next, she picked up a feather and trailed it lightly over her skin, shivering at the sensation.

2:19:21Finally, she grabbed a bottle of warm oil and poured it over her B-R-E-A-S-T-S, rubbing it in with her hands. She closed her eyes and surrendered to the sensations, lost in her own pleasure. Oh, sir, I need to go to the restroom. Dude, I couldn't believe they dropped that four little word in there. Bro, that – you know how many kids are in the hall pass? Dude, that was also – that was erotic. GPT is horny. Yeah. That was – that AI guy is horny. That was way more erotic than I think a lot of kids have turned it in. But you know what is almost kind of nice about this? The feather lightly over the skin.

2:19:54You know, that is – this is something that I kind of miss. I miss reading in the pornography magazine. You would read the – because all you had was an image. So you had to read to make the image come to life, you know? Yeah. I will say the few times I've, I haven't been recently, but back in the day, I was a bit of a Reddit jerk off guy. And Reddit, there was a, there's like a whole thing called Gone Wild on Reddit where people just like post nudes nonstop. But I remember there was a Gone Wild, I forgot what it was called, maybe Gone Wild Story or something like that. People would just write like erotic stories.

2:20:29They kind of get you going. They rev you up. Damn. oh yeah well there's something yeah you read it you're like because you know you have to get to the next sentence so your brain know you have to use your brain literally to get there each word is another little moment and it's keeping you dude i mean i remember i would go to the library in our town and they had those um those art books from like the 1500s or something oh yeah with the with the Rubenesque women. Oh, yeah. The Rubenesque women. Laying by a stream and there's a little angel above her. Absolutely. You know, when she's having a little little cut of pear or a little cut of apple or something.

2:21:08And she just got, you know. If that's your supply, you got to get high on that supply. God, she's just all tit, bro. Some of her tit is even heading for the riverbank. You know, she's right on that riverbank where it's like, damn, that river's about to get that tit. I'm jealous, dude. But yeah, I mean, that's a big thing with, I guess, sex, if you're not actually having sex imagination of it is such a big deal and i guess through erotic stories you just pop it off with imagination well that's kind of what i think the actual video pornography kills a lot of times and it's not a judgment against anybody that i mean i've i've had addiction to it in my life um but it does kill that part of your imagination the imagination is what activates your cells kind of i love the i will actually say that people may think i'm lying I would say probably half the time I masturbate.

2:21:55I think I'm going imagination. Wow. Yeah. Amen, brother. I fucking. Yeah. Salute. I enjoy the imagination masturbate. I do. Oh, dude. I used to take that book and I've discussed it before and I would literally put a wiener in the book, in the library. In the book? In the library and close the book on it as hard as I could. That's what got you going? Well, just there was just something about just the pressure of it and I would. Well, it was so hard to find it because usually they had a picture of like a... Bring up breast art. Oh, I guess it's the closest you could get to the beautiful lady by the river.

2:22:30Yeah, breast art from 1400. Bring it up. That's very fair. That's very, very fair. Please. So in your brain, you're just getting that as close as possible to the queen. I would actually love to see one of these photos. Yeah. There we go. Ooh, look at that lady. But Dubai Riverbank. Oh, yeah, she's good, actually. That's pretty awesome. She looks cute. There we go. there's a couple of them i wonder how long the artist is sitting there doing this for i don't know but i definitely uh and if she just sitting there topless the whole time yeah yep and do buy riverbank if you can that's a party in the top left yeah now that's some angels in the woods sometimes some of that was hard to find a breast in because you just i want the immediate breast right by the river you know because i think the river also offered a way you felt like you could escape once again public yeah public point i want to see the tit and go i want to be on my way um but yeah i would just close my body into that book because it was the only pornography that we had it was what we had yeah i mean that earlier when you mentioning that you would go five miles to get it to get a your eyes and some porn yeah that's all you got that's that's fair and that was after that came out so this was the first thing that was at the libraries man when you would see it and it was good man it's just the best dude there's not like i've said many times on on uh only stands there's not many better things just seeing some boobs they're just awesome yeah it's really just eases the soul eases the mind it's like finding a mystery like finding the killer and who done it just see what they look like it's like mother nature's nuts dude some good tits it's really the best it really is nothing no dispute um do you get a lot of invites to restaurants and stuff do people do that a lot i feel like probably being a more rubenesque male that a lot of people like come here come eat here you'll love this but also having an appreciation for food that's what i should say yeah there's there's definitely i'm sorry i'm not trying to no dude i don't care i'm i'm wearing my larger gentleman no worries but i would say um yeah i do get a good amount of food invites i don't always want to go though because there are some there are some times where if you get invited somewhere it's like an awkward scenario like you don't you don't know i'm assuming you go through the same thing where you don't know um you don't know exactly what's going to be presented to you so i don't i don't do it all too often but there's definitely been times like uh a guy who's seen like youtube videos actually i was out in manhattan on friday and the owner of peter lugers i saw he saw me he was like i'll come in whenever you want like that i'll do but there's if there's a random place that i i don't know other people then maybe Yeah, well, like yesterday, the cheese shop, the guy Dom, my friend knew.

2:25:08So those are experiences that are fun, obviously. It's like verified. I also don't know if a lot of restaurants, I don't know if the food's good. Because most of the people who DM me are employees of the restaurants. They're obviously going to say their food's good. Right. What if the food's not actually good? And then, yeah, it's awkward.

2:25:25Do you think you'll ever end up maybe doing a food show or something like that? It would kind of fit, huh, maybe? I would love to. I guess that would kind of be the goal. I like food TV. I really enjoy it. I mean, I used to do a burger show at work for quite a while. There was a good period of like maybe three years where I was just not doing that great at work. And I was always doing a burger show. And I enjoyed it, but I probably didn't. I don't think I was that good at describing the burgers. I would like to see now that I'm so much more comfortable in front of a camera, how I would redo it and just make it more.

2:25:53I would just put it down. I basically do like a Dave Peet's review, but with burgers. And definitely it was just wildly less successful, obviously. but if I ever did a food show, I would like to do way more, like high, more higher produced, maybe trying more different cuisines that I haven't tried. Yeah. A lot of intrigue in that like Indian food. I would like to dive into maybe some Thai. Oh yeah. I'm really enjoying Mediterranean food. Yeah. Stuff like that. Just expand on the old palette. So I'd be, I would definitely do a food show at the time for the time that we're doing ice cream and only fans, but maybe down the road, I would, I do love food.

2:26:26Yeah. You got a palette for it, man. And that's nice. because some people, their tongue, it's got more intel in it. Yeah, when I had COVID, I couldn't taste it, and that kind of stung. That was horrible. Did you... We might have talked about everything. We've been here a while. Three hours? Yeah.

2:26:51Have you ever been to a live taping of an OnlyFans or pornography shoot? Dude, I have not. is that something you would do or not? I think I don't really see the allure. There are some girls I know in LA right now that are actually trying to get me to go to one tomorrow, but I got to leave tomorrow. So I'm not going to go, but they keep telling me to come. It's so much fun. I don't really see the allure of it. Like if I'm not doing the fucking, why do I want to see somebody else do it? Yeah. So I don't really see the allure there. And I'm assuming it's awkward. I mean, for every porn person I've talked to, they make it seem like it's a pretty professional setting.

2:27:24It doesn't sound fun to go to, there's no wanting in my brain to want to go to a porn set i would i don't want to i like to see how the cookie is crumbled in a kitchen maybe not on the porn set i'll enjoy the porn i don't need to see how it's made yeah yeah yeah yeah i feel you man um i don't think the actors want us there either yeah i think it's probably yeah i don't know if you're sitting over there i don't want to be like say you're chewing gum or something and they look over and they're like you know then what yeah they're getting you're talking in their shot talking in their backswing and you blow a cum shot.

2:27:58Never want to blow a cum shot. Then you got to restart. Or you cheer when somebody ejaculates. See, that would be kind of cool, actually. There's a live audience. That's the thing, though. You yell go bills when somebody jumps over a table. You guys want to see. I mean, I bet they, not that I bet, I would guarantee if porn companies did live audiences for porns, they would pack it out. That's a great point, huh? That could be what's next. Yeah. You never know what's next Thanks for stopping into this cheese shop Oh dude thank you very much for having me This was a great time I appreciate it Thanks for hanging out and just good to get to spend time with you I know we both love Caleb And getting to spend time around him He's our friend diagram He's our little guy in the middle There's something about him I hope he stays alive too Same dude I hope all three of us stay alive That would suck if we didn't And if we die soon This clip will kind of pop off I guess So, hey, but yeah.

2:28:56Yeah, I guess, you know. If it happens. If it happens, dude. I love you guys. Yeah, I love you guys. I guess my parents could have the money I have. I don't fucking know. Whatever. Yeah, yeah. I think they can. How's your mother doing? Is she good? Yeah, she's hanging. Yeah. She's still smoking or not? Yeah. Trying to get her off the old smoking, dude. She loves to smoke. Yeah. Happens, though. I don't know. That's the only thing I've ever done. I've never smoked cigarettes. Yeah. Good for you. My friends say the drunk cigarette, though, was super enticing. I've never done it. Yeah, it was all pretty good when I had them.

2:29:30Yeah. Glenny Balls, thanks for coming in, man. Dude, thank you again. Appreciate it. It was great. Thanks, brother. Now I'm just floating on the breeze, and I feel I'm falling like these leaves. I must be cornerstone. Oh, but when I reach that ground, I'll share this peace of mind I found. I can feel it in my bones But it's gonna take a little bit