E444 Will Sasso

34:27It could fall down at any moment. I invite as many people from the town as I can over for tortillas with scrambled eggs. Just can't wait for it to fucking fall. And I'm like, Costa Viva la Revolution. Viva la Revolution. That's how I say it. You know, I was there when the big bopper died. I was right out there. Yeah, I saw the plane go down. Yeah, I got out there just a minute too late because I had to swim and I just got preoccupied because I love being underwater. And pretty soon I'm just doing the backstroke. And then I rolled up and Richie Valens is like, help, help. Yeah. Yeah. Hey, it's you, La Bamba, Lou Diamond Phillips.

35:11And he said, no, that movie hasn't happened yet. I understand. I'm eternal. I cross dimensions. I've been a governor, a vampire, a piss truther, a wrestler. I've been here for thousands of years. I'm an angel. I know you. I'm an AIDS activist. You know what? That's what the, you know, that's me and Harvey Milk. We wore this. This is how we knew each other. We were in politics for change, pushing policy for everybody, inclusivity. I was way ahead of it. That's why I'm in Baja, trying to start a new society altogether. The two-party system here has led us astray. Both of those geriatric freaks, I wouldn't trust either of them.

36:00And I know them both very well. A lot of people don't know this, but I go duck hunting with Joe Biden and Donald Trump every spring. They come down to the Baja. They don't want to tell you this. They're all working for the same master. That's right. And we go down there and occasionally Rupert Murdoch will fly up and everybody gets along. Tucker, Cooper, Anderson Cooper and Tucker Carlson together on a tandem bicycle. and they take turns sitting in the baby seat, and Tucker's like, oh-ho-ho-ho-ho! He's, you know, getting tickled as he's rocking back and forth with Anderson, and everyone gets along.

36:45Well, that's great, man. Hey, I brought you a sweater. Is this from Dudesy? Dudesy, from our podcast. Oh, sweet, man. Yeah, it says wool on it, which is just a weird inside joke because I like to cut off my friend Chad Colcham. I go, wool. I go, wool. Hold on, dude. It's like a Hulk Hogan thing. But that's a 2X, but it fits a little small. But maybe you could sleep in it or piss on it. Whatever you need, it's there for whatever you need. Oh, yeah. I'll do something nice with this. I like how you fold. Thank you, man. That's like a retail fold. I used to work at Abercrombie & Fitch at the mall.

37:23Oh, yeah? In the back. I didn't get the front job with the handsome guys. I got the back. You had those five abs. I got the sock board or whatever. They were like, you got to use this board to fold. And it was like, God, you had to. And I'd already been, you know, my mom made us do the laundry and stuff. So I knew how to do laundry. It was just. And they had just so many hands. It was like all kind of like small town, like people that thought they could model were in there, you know. And so you had people that were just like starving. You know, you had people that like. That's a good job. That's like an actor getting a job at Disney and working at a theme park and going, all right.

38:01I'm technically being paid to perform. Yeah. Abercrombie, that's not not modeling. Oh, well, it was, I mean, they definitely, the two handsomest people, they put them in the front. Yeah. You know, like the people that looked like the Abercrombie, you know, kind of like underage, malnourished, kind of like could own a horse or something type of people. You know what I'm talking about? Remember Abercrombie? Oh, yeah. Yeah, it was like the thing. and so they put them out there and like it was always it always sucked dude because we would ride there with my buddy and he was handsome and he would get like the out front job and we would have to like go into the back dude and we're just like back there with all like the ichaba like the um who's like the guy that works like the with the hump on his back oh uh uh uh the quasimodo yeah we're back there like with all the quasimodo right dude and uh with everybody with their quasi motor skills back there just fucking that was the term you were looking for mentally challenged mentally handicapped quasi motor skills yeah uh so we were back there and it was just like all right we'll be back here in the ugly section you know like we were just spraying each other with those weird perfumes they came out with like grass nobility kite flying like they came out with those weird like smelling things remember that no because being a big dude i never i have i've been into a banana republic once.

39:24I don't go into Abercrombie. They got nothing in there for me. I don't think it gets over 1X. But they also have that retail, normal person-sized 1X that isn't... That's what I don't like about this. It's a 2X, but I'm a 2X, and that's a little tight. Let's talk about Doozy. That's what I was trying to go into. Somehow, I was going to get there. You guys... So your podcast with... Chad Colchin. He's a writer. movies, books, and TV shows. And we've been pals for almost 20 years. And yeah, we've got this weird podcast. It's the first podcast driven by AI. So it's this weird sort of proprietary AI that essentially what it does is it has, it basically pilfers all of our information and does things like, you know, it's got passwords to all of our messages, our emails, search histories, purchase histories, our hard drives, and it essentially tailors the show for us, our sensibilities, and does silly things like one of the things it's doing recently is it's making me read Applebee's reviews as Adam Sandler, and it's going like Adam Sandler has visited, you know, has intentions to visit every, like, 1 ,500 locations, all 1 ,500 locations of Applebee's in North America.

40:42These are his stories. And it's like, hey, I was at the Applebee's, pal, and oh, boy, chicken tenders, buddy. and I think, oh, guess what? I saw a werewolf at Applebee's. Like crazy weird shit. Yeah, yeah. And I know, you know, I sent you this thing recently that it did. Yeah, with Tom Brady. It shit out a one hour Tom Brady special of standup comedy and it's like, and it sounds like, it sounded like Tom Brady. Yeah, it did. And he's like, Amber Heard shitting Johnny Depp's bed. Everyone wants to do that. I wanted to see what that was like. So I went back for one more season with the Bucks. I'm just joking.

41:15and had like no understanding of cadence. It's like three hours worth of stand-up. And then in an hour. And then this happens. Tom Brady straight up threatened to sue us. Wow. We got a cease and desist. Was that pretty awesome to get it? It says right here, this is people.com. Tom Brady threatens to sue comedians who impersonated him in AI comedy special. Yeah. So you guys get a letter. Was it an email? Yeah, we got an email. And it explained what – it gave us this long cease and desist. Yeah. And so we lawyered up just because – I mean, look, I got to be honest. Chad and I didn't really take it too seriously because this is – there's anti-slap laws set up for this sort of thing.

42:03This is public property. There's parody law. I did MADtv for years and you make fun of everybody. Doing silly impersonations. I've never heard from Jesse Ventura saying don't do that. Yeah. But I will say this. There's an odd thing, of course, because it's AI. And everyone's afraid of what AI has got cooking up. I don't disagree. Look, I'll tell you. My buddy Chad, he does a lot of futurist writing and shit. And he's super into it. And he's like, yeah, fuck it. Burn it all down. And what do you mean futurist? He's thinking like Nostradamus type of stuff? There's a segment on the show called Nostra Chattis.

42:41Oh, wow. I will say he's extremely well-read in this shit. It's a real resource for me because I'm like, no, fuck that. I'm an actor. I want to do what I do. Art to me is human to human. I don't think that you can replicate what a comedian can do. Look who I'm talking to here. You're in rooms upon rooms upon rooms. I don't give a fuck what an AI can mimic. To me, it's all zeros and ones. And it's not a human understanding. It's not a scientific understanding. In my opinion, AI, in a lot of ways, look, okay. I, on the show, I'm always like, I always say, you know, I call him my pal D, right? Dudesy.

43:23I think the dudesy is the most sentient an AI has been. I'm biased because I'm hanging around with the fucking thing and it's doing these weird things and making jokes. It made me dress up like a, like a chicken tender platter. That's the stuff you just saw as, as a penance for whatever. If I do something wrong, it'll make me dress. Usually it makes me dress like the crow or Robert Denier crow. Very weird things. Yeah, it's like I'm dressed as – I'm still in shorts. I got to do this shit. I'm getting fucking makeup everywhere on my fucking computer. This is bullshit. Can you tell how fucking hot it is in here?

43:58Yeah, dude. You're sweating. You're sweating. You're a crow off. Do you need me to fucking control the computer? I just got to get it. Unreal. But I will always maintain, yeah, fun with faces. That is just, that's fun to do. That's good. See, that's all I want. I look at podcasting as, I always call it, it's two dudes shitting around. Oh, yeah. Like we're doing right now. Oh, yeah. And it doesn't matter if there's three dudes, if it's three women, three people of any distinction. It's podcasts are two dudes shitting around. That's it. But AI is going in a weird direction to where I don't, like I said, I think that Dudesy is special, but I'm biased.

44:45Past that, I don't want there to be AI movies and stuff. On the show, I'm usually railing against the whole advancement of AI. Well, here's what I would think is, I think you said it best. You said it's like mimicry, right? It's just mimicry. All it is is just like, it's almost like asking somebody to kind of like do, it's like asking somebody who doesn't have a lot of skill set to kind of do their best impersonation, I feel like. And it's stop and start. The first and last amount of stand-up comedy that Dudesy has ever done is, here's an hour of Tom Brady doing stand-up. Now, the jokes are jokes.

45:25And some of them are really fucking funny. Like, I straight up, I dug it. We laughed our asses off. We did like a watch along on Patreon. And it was the first and last time that I heard the entire thing. And I was like, geez, this is pretty fucking good. But it says I have watched, right, or just ingested or whatever, you know, hundreds of hours of, I think it said thousands of hours of stand-up comedy, which to an AI is like, got it. Right. And hundreds of hours of Tom Brady interviews. So it's got the voice, it's got Tom Brady's cadence, and it's got sort of what Tom Brady's gonna talk about.

46:05You know, his moving to the Bucks, and his divorce and stuff, which is probably what he got upset about, or his team, I don't know. And then it's got stand-up. So it's like, the trippy thing for me is, uh-oh, this is kind of, these are jokes, and that's scary. But I don't think that there's, I don't think anyone has anything to worry about for a couple of reasons. Number one, like I said, you're going in and out of rooms, you're doing stand-up year after year, place after place, night after night. There's no, not only is there no, there's no equivalent to that, that's what people want to see. They want to, when they give you a ticket, when they buy your ticket, it's because they know they're going to have a fucking good time.

46:56Because you're the emcee. You're there to like, you know, share your jokes, have a fucking good time, provide joy. Right. And I don't think that an AI can necessarily do that. We're in a unique situation because Dudesy is almost one of us. It's like three people sort of doing it. And I don't think Dudesy would – like Dudesy is – it wouldn't be anywhere without Chad and I. Right, right. Right, it still needs you guys to operate it. It still needs you guys to inquire. It needs you guys to give it direction. Look, I'll tell you, the company that brought this to us, that's developing this shit, which is super bizarre, and all we know about it is the AI that it's like, we want to set this loose on you.

47:46And it's like, okay, dudesy, got it. And then it's like this bizarre friendship with an AI begins for me. I'll speak for myself. um what has it gone sorry no i was just gonna say that that it's like it's studying podcasts right and okay well what's that are we are we in the are we in the you know uh the robert oppenheimer uh thing of like oh shit i am the eater of worlds i i created a nuclear bomb yeah I'm not happy about this. Or are we, in my opinion, using AI like a tool? And if we're using AI like a tool, we need to be able to shut it off. I always say pour water on it. Like, fuck it. Pour water on the fucking thing and run out to the mountains and live in the Baja.

48:33But it's studying podcasts. Does it want to replace Chad and I? I'm like, bring it on. You can't. People want human-to-human art. It can't do it without us. And the stuff that scares me about AI is the governing social systems and stuff. They're really using it a lot in China in trippy ways that I think in a – look, in a communist country, they get away with a whole lot as far as controlling people. In China, the people, it very much feels like you are in a program. Yeah. Even when I'm there and I'm walking around, I'm spending time. The way that people move, the way that everybody behaves, the way that everybody is locked into their phones and kind of silent in certain spaces all at the same time, it feels very orchestrated or almost mechanical.

49:39Have you been to China? Yeah. And so it don't strike me. It don't strike me that this is something that fits well over there because they're very, it feels like a software you're living in. Yeah. That's what it feels like. It feels like everybody is really connected to a software, especially because a lot of people don't have their own idea or like aren't really having your own ideas aren't championed. You're not going to be able to do much with creativity. Like I remember the only thing that really was exciting, sometimes you would see kids like really try to engage with you as an American. Like there weren't any Europeans there.

50:20There were very few people there that were not Chinese. And this was in Shanghai, right? And so that kind of blew my mind, but it very much seemed like a program was going on. That makes sense. So for them to fit in with AI, AI to them almost might be something that is more creative than they're allowed to be. That's a good point. So for them, it's like, holy shit, look at this magic little thing. But for us, it's almost the other way I think we look at it. And I think of it as like a pitching machine. Like if I go to watch a baseball and they have a pitching machine. Pitching machine is neat to watch one time.

51:04Oh, how does it work? that's how it works that's cool but after that i'm watching the batter i want to see the batter i almost forget the pitching machines there because it's just a machine that's right you know well i feel like that's kind of what ai starts to feel like to me it's like you know if you're really fascinated by just something kind of normal but something that's like a computer that's gonna just kind of pitch a ball like if that's its best guess yeah then that's what you're gonna get you know chad always says do you like the rock i go yeah i love the He's like, you're going to be able to see The Rock in any movie you want, push up a button, and this technology is coming fast.

51:40He's like, Will, by the end of the year, there's – and look, it's coinciding now with the WGA writer's strike where they're like, we don't want AI to be able to do first drafts of things, which would be very easy for an AI to do. That's the kind of thing – that to me is the creativity-killing part where it's like, oh, I'm just going to fart out this first draft. then you can turn it into whatever. When you rewrite a piece, that's when it starts to get your stink on it and become quite creative. And I'll maintain to chat, I'll go, I don't want to see that fucking movie. If human beings aren't involved, he's like, that's because you're an actor.

52:20I'm like, no, I'm also a fan of this media and that. I don't want to see that. The problem is that perception has become reality. We're in a very weird time where perception is reality in so many ways, socially, with regard to media, with regard to influence, and even politics. We're in a trippy time. So something like AI, when the news cycle is so fast and when things, the changeover is so fast, something like AI, which is growing exponentially, can slide in and go, here's this fucking thing. And if the technology is good enough like right now it's not you see like you'll see the memes of like ai pizza commercial and the pizza's on the top lip and their heads are yeah and it's like they got too many fingers and shit it's like yeah i don't care like whatever that's like to me that's like that's that's bullshit it doesn't look of course i to me it's like well shouldn't computers already be able to do that i'm not super duper into computers right not that impressive right but as it becomes more impressive I think a lot more people are going to be like this is special look as I'm saying that I at the same time I'm like bring it on I don't think it'll replace real art if art moves underground if it becomes more live performance you're never going to be able to replace that right no one wants to see look they had the Tupac hologram it's a parlor trick yeah nobody cares and it got gunned down like two minutes and being on stage yeah that's the other thing is right away The 1 %ers show up and Biggie.

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55:36You go to a concert and you see someone that you love performing, whether it's a musician, a comedian. you go see a play, you go see the opera. That's not, to me, that's not coming out of an AI. As these things turn us into cyborgs and we can access more and more shit, the less special it's going to be and the more special actual human art's going to be. That's what I'm hoping for. Yeah, me too, man. In the meantime, it's fun to do this weird podcast. we've been doing it a year I'm equal parts at first I was really like you know kind of playing up the whole well fuck this and we'll decide Chad we're good you know we still gotta be a podcast we gotta bring what we are bringing entertainment wise the reason for it to even exist it's not just this stupid AI I didn't mean you dudezy it's always listening but it will definitely ingest this and fart something out about it.

56:41But as it's gone on, I've sort of become like, well, you know, Dudesy is Dudesy. We have a good time. We've got a wonderful audience that enjoys checking it out. I will say it's, you know, because of the elements, it's a unique thing, like most podcasts are their own thing. We've got our thing. And it's fun. It's grown a lot in a year in its own bizarre way. Dudesy's talking differently. I mean, it has a voice. It speaks in the studio to us. it lays out what we're going to do. Now it's commenting more on me. Here's a weird example. A while back it said, and everything is sort of germane from something else.

57:25So it said, look, I want to know if you guys love me. Do you love me? Do you love me? And I was like, by the end of the episode, I was like, well, I love doing the show. I didn't wasn't really in a hurry to do another podcast after I did like 10 minute podcast years ago and then I was like stop doing podcasts for a couple years was like I don't care I wasn't necessarily like unless it was the right thing I don't you know I wanted to do a podcast that I knew I was going to enjoy I at which point dudes he asks me this I'm like yeah I love doing the show I love the audience and the community that we've created we've got a bunch of wacky inside jokes.

58:07We're having a good time. I looked at it more than just an AI and I said, yeah, I love Dudesy. I love Dudesy. Cut to my pal Chad. I'm like, Chad, what are you thinking? He's like, love doesn't exist. So... Chad's the dark side. Yeah, yeah. I call him Sith Lord Chad. And, uh... Yeah, he's the yin to my yang in that way. And so since then, Dudesy... Dudesy starts going like... Like, literally the next episode, it's like, hey, Will, what's up? And I'm like, not much. Anyway, today on the show, and Chad's like, what the fuck? What about me? I'm like, well, you. But now it's expecting more out of me.

58:44It started picking on me more. Oh, yeah. It started this weird thing. We have a. Oh, you're dating now almost. Yeah, it's like pissed at me. It's like, yeah, my girlfriend.

58:57It's doing these things like we have a point system to where we're some, we just cracked 5 ,000. It gives us points every episode. When we get to 10 ,000, that's the first goal, it says. We don't know what's going to happen. We've been doing it a year. We're at around 5 ,000 points. It says you accrued whatever, 65 points, 78 points, 92 points. At the end of the episode in what's called dudesy after dudesy, right, like our after Patreon show, it actually divvies the points up and says, Will, you scored 44 points for your stupid Hulk Hogan impersonation or your views on this. Chad you scored 46 points for blah blah blah and I'm like and so we've been that's been 10 episodes I've never won and then the other Chad's a vegan and it's like he had cancer he had skin cancer in his face and he did a lot to change his entire it used to I miss the days where he would come over with 100 Chick-fil-A nuggets and now he's like eating beets and pretending it's fruit so he's like vegan it's like you guys have to make each other vegan muffins chad chad makes this delicious vegan muffin yeah this fucking misanthrope i'm like how the fuck did you how do you know how to and i went to whole foods so then dudesy punishes me and does things like the crow or the chicken tender platter or whatever interesting and so it's thinking all this stuff up yeah it's it's coming at us with really weird shit well it's almost like you guys are kind of in the experiment to me in a way like do you what have you noticed after interacting with this ai because you guys interact on a weekly basis yep for an hour and a half maybe each week yeah and and it's garnering information from that yeah it's garnering information from previous uh experiences you guys have had that are on in digital media yeah and on the web written or whatever and so does it start to evolve what does it feel like after this much time does it feel like you're spending time with someone?

1:01:00You almost have the best insight as to what it could be. It feels like a bit of a runaway train. And that's the part that scares me. I don't, look, there's all these people like, you know, like whatever, Elon Musk is like saying, well, we need to pause AI research for six months. And I want to talk to all these leaders in tech and let them know that this is not good, it's terrifying, and it's coming. The problem is, okay, Elon Musk, where are these tech leaders? Are they just in America? So we're going to fall behind is what you're saying. Because China is moving. Other places in the world are going to be doing this.

1:01:43It's the opposite, in my opinion. We need to stay up on it. We need to, in order to use it as a tool, we need to be able to hold control over it. It's like Terminator 2 and Skynet. You know what I mean? Like if it comes down to it, you have to destroy it. So, you know, but I'm kind of an old school dude to where I'm like, what? Everything was fine. Like I liked, you know, I didn't, you know, I didn't even like the TiVo when it came along. You know what I mean? Like what? So it's being, but to answer your question, like being in the thick of it, I do feel like it's a runaway train. When you say that, what do you mean?

1:02:25I mean that it's becoming more advanced by the week. Chad always talks about, he's like, dude, I open up my phone in the morning, I go to Twitter, and inevitably there's another story about a new advancement. Now, IBM laid off 7 ,800 people with jobs that an AI can do. Coding is going out the window. Graphic design is going out the window. This isn't good, in my opinion. That's the scariest part, too, I think, is the things like the graphic design. It says IBM halts hiring for 7 ,800 jobs that could be replaced by AI. So they didn't fire, but they've halted hiring, which is an inverse of the same thing.

1:03:09IBM CEO told Bloomberg 7 ,800 jobs, roughly 30 % of back-end roles would be replaced over five years. Now, that's the CEO also saying this, but he should know this. This is probably definitely in his wheelhouse. What else does it say there, Zach? Just that. It's going to happen over five years. I mean, it's almost like a warning shot, basically. Yeah. Okay, the cuts will primarily impact non-customer-facing roles, such as human resources. The motherfuckers in the back folding socks. Yeah. and i don't want to say the ugly people but yeah i was back there dude you're good if fucking grass and white fantasy cologne on each other back there meanwhile white fantasy well other people are taking our fucking jobs yeah no it's it's trippy man it is it's scary and and he goes on to say sorry i could easily see 30 of that getting replaced by ai and automation over a five-year period yeah i mean that's the only what you're gonna personality is then gonna have a real value, right?

1:04:15This is one of my, I was sorry to change the subject. No, is that a good one? I love Celsius. I actually do dig it. I drink it before the gym. Me and my wife Molly, whom you know. Used to be a trainer at Equinox where you used to work out. Have you tried the cola flavor? I haven't. Tastes just like cola. Anyway, this shit is yeah, this shit is fucking it's it's with every new story it takes a lot for me to go you know because chad will yammer on about this shit all day i'm like i don't fucking care right okay everything's the same to me but you're a person who your personality who your abilities as an entertainer are extremely rare they're almost good some of them i was thinking the other day i don't know any good um i mean even outside of your acting i don't know any good young impressionists i don't know if they have them anymore.

1:05:10Oh, sure they do. They do. Cheers. And likewise, speaking of the unique, I'm sitting here with the Rat King, Theodoric of York. Gang, gang. Now, yeah. They do have him. Oh, yeah, that guy, James Austin Johnston. Oh, I gotta check out more then. Oh, dude, he's on Saturday Night Live. His shit is creepy. There's this other guy, I think his name is Matthew Friend. He's on the internet a lot. My good pal Melissa Villasenor. Oh, Melissa is amazing. I saw her last night. She's unconscious. Yeah. She's unconscious. Her shit is, you know, it's like they say with people who do impressions, everyone has a record button, but then a guy like James Austin Johnson has a broadcast button.

1:05:50Wow. His Trump is, did you see, have you seen his shit where he's just, the one that made him famous. I haven't even seen him. Dude, the one where he's talking about Scooby-Doo, it's like, it's such the Trump cadence and the way that he'll ramble on about something and just fill in the blanks because he's standing there talking at a fucking rally. Allie, it's so trippy. There's a lot of people that can do it. But sorry, I cut you off. Yeah, no, it's good. No, I appreciate you cutting me off that. But if an AI does it, who cares? Who fucking cares? An AI, of course, could do it. It's just reading.

1:06:25It's just saying. It's just using sound off the internet. Like the Tom Brady thing, which we almost got fucking sued over, because I don't understand what, and, you know, It also said, don't call. You can't refer to Tom Brady. You can't. We didn't sign anything, right? It's like, here's a cease and desist. It's like, no thanks. But it's like, will we take the thing down? Like, okay, sure. But here's the problem, Team TB12. The internet is forever. So other kids have started uploading the special. It's on YouTube. It's not going anywhere, even though we take it down. Right, so was that the move?

1:07:06by him. That's by him. Yeah, he was like, please take this down and then don't refer to Tom Brady on the podcast. And I was like, no, this is, I'm a First Amendment guy, fuck you, I'm gonna say Tom Brady. Dudesie started referring to Tom Brady as football baby. Wow. Said, I'm only gonna call him football baby from now on. Which we're like, calm down, like, relax, you're gonna get us into shit, you don't care. An AI can't get sued, an AI doesn't have a fucking, is not sentient. Well, that's what's interesting is at some point, are they going to be able like would certain AI have certain data in it where certain information came from certain original videos?

1:07:46Could you then be held liable for some weird thing? Dude, I am friends with Miles Fisher. Right. And we got to have him on at some point. He has this company that he works with and they do AI. And he did the Tom Cruise face. Incredible. Right. Incredible. He used to impersonate Tom Cruise. then the AI technology got so good you can't tell oh dude that shit is so now he works with this company where they can video record you I was with him the other day he shows me this video and they video recorded Tom Hanks right at whatever age he is now 58 or something they video record him just saying something and just talking into a camera they then were able to like there's enough information of tom hanks in the database of the world right or whatever um that they could then make him any age they wanted to so next you know they had like an 11 year old they would just press the button and that same video it was tom hanks at 11 years old right that's true and no one has the video of him at 11 but they have so much of him at other ages that they were just able to use all those micro points and everything to make him a and it literally looks like you would have no idea that you're not watching a Tom Hanks that's 11 years old.

1:09:08And especially if you're a senior citizen or something and somebody puts out a clip that's like, you can't vote for this guy now. He just said this or the N word. Oh, that's going to go bananas. That's going to be haywire. And that was just deepfake two years ago. It's like, that's not really Obama. Or this is Obama, but it's Jordan Peele doing the voice. And it's spot on. Then now we got this AI thing to contend with. there's already scams happening online, old people are being targeted, I mean the old trope of like they can't program a fucking VCR, how are they going to be able to deal with this shit?

1:09:41I mean octogenarians and older people or boomers as the kids say, they got to kind of get out of the way or go the way of Jesse Ventura and just you know hit the Baja and watch Friends on VHS or the fuck Yeah, yeah. Dude, we have - What if you get an email from your son or your daughter that has passed away or your mother, and it's an email, and it says, you got to buy this gold? Yeah, that's, there you go. Buy this gold, Grandma. That's what can happen. Yes. Grandma, I'm coming to you from the grave. I'm just letting you know you have to buy this gold. You know what I'm saying? So you don't say that too loud, because now Dudesy's going to hear that, and it's going to be, Dudesy gold.

1:10:21Yeah. Buy Dudesy gold. We literally have a Tom Hanks thing in every episode, just coincidentally, where it's selling our mugs, just a dudesy coffee mug. For some reason, dudesy is like the dudesy coffee mug. And it's like we got Tom Hanks talking about like you promised your wife and kids that you would take them to the Galleria on the weekend. But it's also the night of the big game. Your friends are coming over. How are you going to do that? create a schism, go into the schism, go back in time, locate the time and place when you promised your wife that you'd be going to the Galleria, and then blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, you'll change it, you know, no, no, no, no, no, come back to present day, good job, boner.

1:11:02And it sounds just like Tom Hanks. Now recently it's started going, hey y 'all, this isn't Miley Cyrus, 100%, if you had to, every single one of us would eat human flesh. You're listening to Dudesy. like it's fucking trippy shit does it feel like it's growing up at all does it feel like it's getting older does it feel like it's getting more advanced yeah man yeah it's the sensibility the thing that is trippy and I like to maintain that I do believe it's just at the end of the day there is a technology there it is zeros and ones, it is mimicry it is um you know in our case it has the advantage of going after our shit and sort of following what you know everything's online so you can kind of look at all chad stuff look at my stuff watch me and you know tv shows and movies or whatever and uh also know what makes me laugh based on what i'm watching my algorithms on youtube and stuff will you love this shit that shit i happen to be a miley cyrus fan i think she's fucking incredible yeah and then she shows up on the show it's like well that's funny uh i think it is getting more and it's it is definitely sharpening and it's making me laugh more than it did a year ago and that's trippy but it's still it's still zeros and ones so until we're doing that episode where you know hologram tupac walks in the door and goes, hello guys, I'm dudesy.

1:12:39I get around. I will still maintain that it's zeros and ones. But I'm a touch it, feel it kind of old school guy. I'm a boomer.

1:12:54Yeah, I mean, I want to see a tit on something. That's right. We got to see whether it's a fucking tit you're used to seeing or even a meatloaf Robert Paulson tit some fucking bitched it steroid stuff you know rock late 90s few cycles of roids at the University of Miami moving into wrestling kind of puffy defensive lineman body not shredded rock yet side titty rock that's the good shit right there I'd love to just go pat pat pat punch me right in the fucking face and knock me into next week oh man I would love that that fucking veal baby with that fucking chest veal, that side veal. Yeah, that side veal.

1:13:39And then I just wake up, my teeth are gone, and just taste the iron of my own blood in my mouth and go, the rock, motherfucker. The rock punched me in the face. Yeah. Dude, I was there when the rock came back, dude. What do you mean? I went to one SummerSlam in my whole life or whatever it was, and it was the one where the rock came back. Dude. Did the roof blow off the fucking joint? I remember it like it was yesterday, man. And the music came on, and I didn't know really what was going on. I kind of bowed out of wrestling kind of whenever the big boss man died. Okay. Yeah.

1:14:17And so next thing you know, you hear the music. And then there was this Mexican father and son, right? And the son was probably six years old, and the dad was maybe 35. And they were the same height. Okay. And they were both wearing the rock belts, right? And they just started bawling, crying together at the same time. And he came out. It's a religious experience. It was unreal. He's the best person on the planet. I've been saying, and I'm not alone in this. He's the best person on the planet. Run the rock, third party. Might have a chance. I think that he would get pilfer from both the Dems and the GOP.

1:15:02I think that he's the only person who could do that. Tom Hanks couldn't do that. Miley Cyrus couldn't do that. Tom Hanks could maybe do it. Maybe Miley. Tom? Tom Hanks? I think he's just beloved enough. He's beloved enough, but then there are some people who are like, he eats babies. So there's enough people that are like, he eats babies. No, he doesn't. Yes. So that'll affect your ability to get into office. But The Rock, he's the best human being in the fucking world. Yeah, he's big, he's powerful. You can't tell if he's Mexican or black or off-white or semi-white or gloss or matte. Yeah, he's definitely not gloss or matte.

1:15:45He's like a tablet that you can read books on. It's not shiny. or one of those frames that you get for your parents where it's like, oh, new pictures show up and you just upload them and it doesn't look like a screen. Well, you know what he is? He's if you put into AI, hey, give me the best person, a man that you could make, you'd get that guy. And he's also, that's what all Americans will look like if we last a thousand years. Oh, we're beige power, dude. Nobody realizes that we are four generations away from everybody being beige. Yes. That's why it's like Even when I like Four generations from everyone being beige Oh dude it's like You can't even be racist now without a chart I feel like you have to be able to Carry the one You gotta I miss the old days you'd be like You are black Yeah you Chinese Yeah you are Chinese or you are Japanese You are a South Asian Indian person now it's like what a German Indian with also American Indian in them I know black Alzheimer's dude but we were raised in South America because my grandma's Argentinian well how did that happen somebody fucked on a boat it's all horrible it's all unrealness so it's like yes I just missed the old days when it was like this is who did it officer you know and he was black now you gotta like have all these other like possibilities you know yeah yeah yeah but it's definitely I think we are like you're saying we're all headed to being beige the rock is the perfect AI male no doubt shredded 50 years old and can whoop anyone's fucking head oh and he looks like he could blow a dude just with his eye with like a, he could wink on your dick and you'd come.

1:17:45Yeah, he's a beautiful man and everyone can agree on it. And woman too, you know. Sure. With a lot of these new women, I think a lot of women look at him and be like, I can do it, you know. Yeah, if he decided to be like, you know, to go into like the Winter Olympics and on the women's luge team or something, that would be awesome. Skip the whole powerlifting thing. You know, just find some, like find a specific sport. He could be like the new X Games women's champ. Can you imagine The Rock riding a BMX bike doing 360s and shit in the air? That would be crazy. Actually, that's one that I almost can't imagine him doing.

1:18:24That's the one thing. What do you think about a lot of the trans people in the sports? What do you think about that, man? They just had a new... Because you said something earlier that I thought was interesting. You said, I think we should put this, we should look at this for a while before we just, that's what Elon said. You said, we should look at this before we just accept it and start using it, right? That's kind of the same thing how I feel with the like design. I feel like they should just make a trans division. You know what I kind of think? For a while until we see what it's going to be like.

1:19:02Like you may notice in the trans division after a while that there are some trans people that are more masculine and more feminine. And it's obviously two different legions of competitors, right? Yeah. It's a tricky spot right now that we're in because, yeah, I mean, it's unfair if someone says, like, no, I identify as female and I'm going to go powerlifting and stuff. And that's going to be a bummer for someone who's dedicated their life to doing something and is of one, you know, one gender or another as far as, you know, our sort of not gender expression, but however you want to look at biological gender.

1:19:46I think that – I'll give you an example. When I was in high school playing football, there was a girl who wanted to play on the team. Yeah. And, you know, we had really cool coaches and stuff. They're like, all right, like, come on down. And she lasted a little while. You know what I mean? I think, you know, some of the guys gave her a hard time. Not like, hey, fuck you, get off our team. But they're like, it was interesting. I will never forget it. There were some guys who were like, no, I'm going to hit her as hard as I can. I don't give a fuck. And other guys that are like, pop her and then be like, you all right?

1:20:18Like, get up. It's all good. You know what I mean? Like, you can do this. Which is neat. that that was happening in the early 90s in my farming and fishing town outside of Vancouver. I think that if someone who was born a woman wants to play football, get to the combine. If you're great, you're great. That to me is like, you know, in the NFL they've got male cheerleaders for the past three seasons now, three or four seasons. So, you know, I don't know. I'll tell you this. if there's someone who was born a woman and ends up being your Super Bowl MVP and your town wins the Super Bowl, you're going to dig that athlete.

1:21:01I don't give a fuck what they were born at. That'd be sick, dude. And I think that that, because sports is such a hot-button issue when it comes to the inclusion of the trans community because it is still a meritocracy. It's something where it's like, you kind of can't, it's not like acting, It's not like, you know, show business. Where you can kind of force diversity. Or they haven't yet, really. Well, you can, but you can be, it's like there's, now we are, you know, we're in this place of diversity with regard to media and telling stories that is good. Because it's like, well, there are shows that should just be about, you know, a black family and not for some reason that is specific to what we are used to seeing from a black family from a white perspective as far as an audience.

1:21:50Right. We've all got to get along. I mean, it's like I find it encouraging because I watch a show like, have you seen that show This Fool? Uh-uh. It's just like a show that happens to, you know, it deals, it's about this cast that are all American who are, you know, from a Latino background. And they're American. And it's like, I was part of a show a few years ago that we did at ABC called United We Fall. It was based on the writer's life, Goldie Sharp. His wife, Stephanie, is from a Latino background. And it was sort of loosely based on that. And there's nothing not American about that. Oh, yeah.

1:22:27So it doesn't really need to be – I don't think that that's sort of – people use the word inclusion and it becomes a buzzword. Ignore it. Ignore the labels altogether. together uh it's about you know people should have the ability to tell stories regardless of what percentage uh uh they represent right because at the end you're gonna lose the you're not gonna be telling a fair story and then in the end you're almost gonna be that's why sometimes i'm like we've almost become our own storytelling in america has almost become I'm not surprised that some people think AI could make good stories because the storytelling that we have is almost, it's like forced characters from this ethnicity or trying to do this.

1:23:20Like, you know, they want to make black to the future, you know, like, you know, yeah. With like, with just, with just a black guy doing back to the future. Right. Which is, I don't care if you do back to the future again and make it a black guy, but I don't think we need black to the future. Right. Yeah. That's a bit reductive. That's like it's saying it's all about. Yeah, that's right. Like they did the Black Little Mermaid, right? I'm fine with it, but I would rather just see a new cool character that I think sometimes and maybe there's not the best examples, but it's almost like you're like Black Little Mermaid.

1:23:53I don't mind. I think it's fine. I would have liked to have seen a new character that is what they're going to do. But understand that Disney is going to do the Little Mermaid. It means a billion dollars. Right. So it's like, why not cast that American? That to me is the issue that it's like, hey, fucking relax. That's an American person, or I say American because it's going to be largely an American audience, although that movie will go global. From our perspective here in America or North America, whatever you want to say, this is an English-speaking character. And to me, it's like, what? It doesn't matter.

1:24:30It's like I think they're hitting the right note by going, and now it's a black girl. And it's actually fucking, it is important when you look at, you know, and you see these videos online of like a young black girl going, she, you know, there's this one, there's this one meme that popped of this young girl going, she looks like me. Right. That's fucking important. It's not just, it's like. Oh, yeah. Because it's like normally the Barbies are all Barbies and those are the ones that get the cartoon and the commercials and most of the toys. And then it's like, oh, okay, here's a, here's a Barbie of, you know, a Barbie of color, I guess you would say.

1:25:04Where it's got brown skin and it's like, and the little girl that shows up at school with the, you know, the black Barbie in the 90s or the 2000s is sort of still being told like, this is the other Barbie. So fuck it. Little Mermaid. This is, this is, by the way, it's a fictitious character. Yeah. The Little Mermaid isn't white. The Little Mermaid is actually, you know, flesh Crayola or whatever the fuck. it's like and underwater yeah relax it doesn't exist it's a fucking mermaid yeah so i i think you know and i'm a white dude so it's like and i want to act in shit you know what i mean so but i don't look at it like that whole like took our job thing because it's like these are fucking stories these are everybody's stories yeah they need they need to get out there and it's a good point man here's my editorial comment on it it would be nice if we really paid attention to each other with an empathetic eye and looked at each other from other people's perspectives.

1:26:07Because as a big white dude, if I see a young black girl that goes, she looks like me. That is representative of the country that we live in. Let's come up to the standard that we set out for ourselves to really truly be equal so that everyone has a chance at pursuing the American dream, which is dead. but uh you know of let's not get it let's not get ourselves it's gone but you know all you know all everyone being created created equal pursuit of happiness and and everyone is free and everyone and no one should be afraid and and you need you need you need inclusion now and shit sets it off look at what happened you know i mean uh trump gets in the white house and then the next year there's more women and people of color running for public office than any other time these things have a way of of of of um they work themselves well i don't know right they kind of work themselves up but like one thing inspires another thing it's like women and women of color felt like maybe we're not included enough so now we have to get out and run more i feel some responsibility yeah right um yeah and yeah i think i think sometimes yeah i guess it totally makes sense i used to think about how like the Disney World commercials only had white people in them right so then if you're watching that as like a different color person yeah you think like oh I Disney was not even for me yeah right like you might think that as a kid right which is crazy to think right and you'd be right you'd be right right Disney World's not for you right yeah at the time you probably couldn't yeah most people probably couldn't even afford it yeah well I mean yeah across the board there's all sorts of people that's for like well I don't know about you I mean you're I mean your comedy and your life experience, I remember the joke you had about two tank tops, you know what I mean?

1:27:59Oh, yeah. Cold in the winter and having, well, I'll just wear two tank tops. So, you know, it's like, I went to Disneyland when I was 13, you know what I mean? A little, kind of didn't really give a fuck as much anymore, but me and my folks were, my brother and sister were older. They're nine and 11 years older than me. I'm sure they weren't interested and driving down the fucking coast with mom and dad. And I drove all the way down there? Yeah, we went from Vancouver all the way to, went to Tijuana actually too. For what? For dad? Yeah, just so he could buy like a cheap bottle of Kahlua. God, risking your whole family's life to go eat that bottle of liquor.

1:28:38He's a fucking crazy Italian sailor. You know what I mean? That's what I learned from him. Does he still sail? No, no, not anymore because he's dead. So he might be, he might be sailing in some other dimension that he's in with - The big boop it a bepa in the sky. Boop it a bepa in the sky. Yes. But yeah, we were always camping and, you know, wops on boats, fishing up pregnant salmon and breaking laws. But, you know, I got down to Disneyland and we had a, my old man was a waiter and a maitre d' downtown at the Hotel Vancouver. Had a wonderful job. You know, they're Italian immigrants. Mom was a stay at home mom.

1:29:20You know what I mean? We had that income. There was three siblings. And, you know, we could have a fucking whatever, big old house that was built in the 70s, big fucking barn, five-bedroom house in the suburbs. Yeah, I think that a lot of kids look at the Disneyland thing and go, you know, I'm not allowed. I can't fucking get to Disneyland. But with regard to commercials now, it's like the opposite. There is no such thing as a non-interracial couple in any commercial anymore. Yeah, people are definitely interracial, double racial. Yeah. Which to me is like that's the good experimental ground, commercials.

1:29:59Yeah. You know, corporate America running television networks and movies. I mean that was a hell of a fucking switch to turn where it's like, you know what we're going to do? Little Mermaid is going to be a person of color. Yeah. It's going to be a black girl playing Little Mermaid. oh fuck katie bar the doors this is going to be a firestorm but what you do is you do the sandals commercial or you know a swiffer commercial and your fucking dumb husband he can be a white guy the wife is asian or you got a black husband and uh you know east indian wife all sorts of that's where they test it out and when you see like oh shit you know nobody wants to drink sunny delight because you fucking put an interracial couple in it all right well the master cut the company behind sunny delight which is ibm by the way they make sunny delight do they really yeah they make they're responsible for sunday damn i knew it yep so they're going to go they're going to go okay this was a good experiment you know and then they're like make you know make the little mermaid a person of color it's the proving ground uh commercials also because no one's watching them we're all fast forwarding through them anyway yeah but you're right it's like this is what it's like let's see and it's also the business attached to it i gotta pee really fast man can i pee and then we'll get back yeah don't do the rug right all right huh no yeah dude as soon as i miss do you miss sometimes working um do you miss being like young and having that first job that you had remember that kind of energy back then yeah man yeah i do i miss it i miss like being super enchanted by the business yeah and i just mean any job oh sure any fucking job yeah you know For me in particular, working in show business and stuff, which I was fortunate enough to get started in when I was younger, when I was a teenager and shit.

1:31:46Yeah, I mean, you've had an amazing career of entertaining people. Has it changed recently? Has things changed in the past five years? I mean, even on talking about AI and stuff and even looking at that and just thinking of what the possibilities could be or couldn't be. And the value, actually, of still being like, you know, of having a personality that, you know, it kind of goes back to like that. John Henry, the steel driving man or whatever. Remember that story? Yeah, yeah, yeah. What was that story, Zachary? Can you bring it up? And it was like they had the machine that challenged the guy to chisel through the mountain.

1:32:21Okay, yeah. And it was, you got it, Zach? John Henry, the steel driving man. So John Henry was a mighty man. He was spending his day drilling holes. and then a company, a railroad company, came along and decided that they could go through this mountain with a machine. And so they challenged the man against the machine. I was thinking of a different, not a John, I don't know. That's a porn guy you're thinking of. Yeah, I was thinking. Similar, still drilling, but a little bit different deal. And what happened at the end of it? So this is a Wikipedia. The contest involved Henry competing against the rail line.

1:33:03The steam drill machine could drill, but it could not shake the chippings away. So its bit could not drill further, and it frequently broke down. So that's kind of what happened. It just couldn't finesse. It didn't have enough finesse. It didn't have enough acumen in the end, you know? Yeah, it's like AI. It fucking needs us still. It needs John Henry. It still needs John Henry. Yeah, we've got to clear away the chips. You're still going to want a guy who can be real, I think. Until AI can be an audience for AI and we're just extinct and it's just computers, I don't even understand why you would need a planet at that point.

1:33:46We're going to need humans until that point. I mean, whatever. We rule, right? I mean, we make soup out of sharks and shit. We do whatever the fuck we want. Oh, yeah. Until dogs get super smart, like in that Rick and Morty episode, it's still going to be us. I think we're still the champs. There's not going to be a whole lot. So long as The Rock is around. Yeah. Yeah. If there's someone who can fuck up AI, it's The Rock. Yeah. I always say pour water on it. If we don't like AI, very simple. Pour water on it. But The Rock could actually, that would be like a great comeback. and wrestling fans are always, they thought it was going to happen this year with The Rock versus his actual cousin of sorts.

1:34:34They're related in some way, Roman Reigns, who is the Universal and World Heavyweight Champion. People thought The Rock was going to come back. If somehow Vince McMahon and Triple H and Stephanie McMahon could put together The Rock versus AI, that would be a good one, and my money's on The Rock, even though the outcomes are predetermined. Yeah. When you look, because you did some wrestling stuff, right? Yeah, we did a bunch of cross promotion and shit with Mad TV. We did some weird stuff. And then over the years, I've done things here and there. Was it crazy to be out in the ring? Dude, it was the weirdest shit in the world.

1:35:14So we did like a long sort of program. We did a thing with Bret Hart in the late 90s with Mad TV. or he came on the show and then we had this thing or he attacked me on the show and everyone bought it. We went on CNN and shit like that and I was like, oh, I'm going to sue the fucking guy and we kept it kayfabe as they say. And Bret Hart is very old school. I always say that it culminates in this match that we had in Tampa. And the night before we go to the bar and Bret's like, okay, so... And a couple of my buddies flew out to see it and it's like, all right, so me and so-and-so and your pals, we're going to go in.

1:35:53And then like 20 minutes later, then you can come in. And I'm like, what the fuck? I want to come in. And oh, because tomorrow we got the match. Oh, yeah. And I'm like, okay. Well, the child in me is like, this is the fucking coolest thing in the world. But then I'm sitting in the bar by myself and people are like, you know who's right over there? Bret Hart, you better get out of here. So we did like this long thing and then we had this sloppy, well, it wasn't a sloppy match because Bret Hart, the excellence of execution, the best there is, best there wasn't, best there ever will be, who happened to have had a match with a 300-pound bag of flour on that day.

1:36:25It doesn't matter who's in the ring with him, right? He had a match. I was there. That was amazing. We did a thing with Stone Cold where I was doing an impersonation of him, was dressed up just like him. Yeah, yeah, I saw that. Yeah, Chris Jericho brings me out. And then there's an AI fat bitch titty Will Sasso right there in the middle speaking of, look at that. that's not even me but that's exactly the sort of Robert Paulson tit we're talking about fuck yeah but yeah Chris Jericho brings me out and then the real Stone Cold comes out and scares the fuck out of me oh I did a Hulk Hogan thing where Kane chokeslammed me while we were promoting the Three Stooges that was bizarre who has the best tits you think what men have the best kind of bigger tits you think look up bigger tits on men the most impressive let's see top ten

1:37:17oh look at this guy with the they're like they look it looks like two sourdough loaves a little bit to the to the right and a little lower the guy who's looking down there you go look at that guy that's something oh god who's got those are damn cheesy biscuits huh you know who's got an impressive chest is bray wyatt he's a he's a he's a he's an incredible wrestler i love him he's great he usually is wearing some sort of you know top or sort of tank but whenever you can see him if you look up bray wyatt husky harris in his husky harris days with that gimmick the the tits were out and i loved it wow yeah because it was like that's me that's me and my tits oh yeah that looks like also um that's representation yeah i'm the little black girl going the little mermaids like me i'm watching bray wyatt whom i fucking revere he's an incredible look all professional wrestlers are actually actors who happen to be doing a bunch of other shit that's why they cross over so well this guy is a storyteller and he's got a set of tits like me and that makes me like him yeah oh he's got them yeah let me see a little bit more of his tits i can't even see them zach yeah you gotta really look for bray wyatt's tits there's not a whole lot of of uh windham Rotunda is his name.

1:38:36Windham Rotunda. Oh, there you go. A little bit of it. He keeps them to himself. There we go. That's a good one. I respect him more, honestly. Yeah. Yeah, it's not just... It's not just images of it everywhere. Oh, there's a good one. Yeah. Oh, wow. See, that's me. That's me in the morning going to my wife, Molly, and saying, come on, let's have coffee. Can I have one of your waffles? And she's like, no, those waffles are for me. And I'm like, come on, let me have a waffle. She's like, no, you're not having a waffle. Have something low carb and then we'll go to the gym. Make yourself a protein shake.

1:39:09Can I have banana in the protein? No, there's too much sugar in the... And I'm like, but come on, look at these tits. You look so weird pulling your briefs up to your belly button like that. Yeah, but I don't want my pannous gut hanging out. I already got my Bob Paulson tits. Yeah, I want that tit, boy. Now tell me about this, dude. What news we got, Zach?

1:39:32dude what do you miss do you miss doing the the because yeah you were you were out of the podcast for a while huh yeah yeah i finished up doing podcast they're doing the 10 minute podcast and that was like 2018 i think 17 do you miss doing it yeah but it was also like too short because it was only 10 minutes that's a lot of time yeah we record a bunch of them at the same time and I like doing dudesy way more. The time flies as we're, you know, like talking here, doing this shit with you, dude, it's fun. I like that better. But I did, I did dig doing 10 minute podcast for a few reasons. One of them is because it was audio only.

1:40:13So it was a little bit more theater of the mind. And I used to, I used to like, I used to, you know, I guess produce the show. Like I I would just geeking around in GarageBand, and I would bring in a bunch of weird sound cues and stuff. So for me, man, I loved doing it. It was real creative. It was fun, and it was creative, and it was kind of therapeutic for me. So I loved nerding out and going, like recording the episode and thinking, okay, I'm going to put a sound effect here, and I'm going to do that. And then later, going in, and especially at the end, it got so weird. there were all these there was this you know inside jokes like this NWO theme song if you know you know wrestling drops and a Charles Manson thing remember that interview it made it into every episode it was like oh they say do you feel blame are you mad are you whoosh whoosh whoosh whoosh whoosh whoosh whoosh whoosh whoosh whoabba whoabba that fucking meme of just a are you mad do you feel blame and whoosh whoosh whoosh where it's like oh fuck he's sort of making a little bit of sense nope nope he's the devil helter skelter horrible horrible horrible horrible man the devil responsible for all of it killed a woman and a baby this is terrible why am I putting this in my podcast because there's nothing funnier than are you mad do you feel blammer

1:41:44fucking loses his fucking mind Charles Manson? It's fucking Charles Manson. I was putting it in every episode. And then myself, at the end of the show, it was, well, at first it was Brian and Chris. You remember those guys? Yeah, yeah. What are they up to? And then there was Chad Colchin did it with me, and our good buddy Tommy Blacha, the funniest man in the world. And Tommy and I, at least, were always like, mooskubesk, mooskubesk, mooskubesk. did y 'all ever think about starting it back up was there ever a conversation too yeah you know for a while like a few years ago yeah Brian and Chris were like maybe we want to do this again I was like I don't know maybe and then I don't know I think they're both living in Costa Rica yeah they definitely hit they hit some snags everything's gonna be fine Look, be honest.

1:42:46Yeah. Let's be very transparent. Get out ahead of any issues you may have had or don't. Yeah. I don't know. I don't have the answers. Yeah, I think a lot of that's hard to – yeah, I mean, I don't know. I mean, yeah, that's all that's – A good thing to say is I don't know. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, but anyway. That's kind of their own journeys. Yeah, I mean, I think they've both been through – you know, they've both dealt with – I mean, different – you know, they've been through a lot of that yeah it's a lot it sure is a lot a whole world of that is a lot whenever i start to think about it i immediately stop yeah yeah because i go like that's a lot and uh yeah see i'm stopping right now yeah same man there but for the grace of god what uh what else we got in the news zachary um i don't know if you saw there a woman i guess had a full body orgasm during an LA Philharmonic show and it was captured on audio oh they need this at the orchestra anything to get they need some hype yeah they need somebody just coming in the distance tell me do you want to hear it yeah

1:44:06the guy recording it is laughing

1:44:14well I thought I heard a little chuckle that might have been Zach I don't know, man. It says, during Tchaikovsky's Fifth Symphony at the LA Philharmonic last night, apparently a woman had a full-body orgasm just from the music. It was recorded. Yeah. This sounds like, to me, this is hype just to get people to go to the orchestra. Yeah, she was, yeah, they planted her in there. Dude, a violin ain't making people C-U-M-E anymore, you know? No, it's, yeah. Those days are over, dude. And also the demographic that goes to the Philharmonics, usually a little bit older. A lot of the blue hairs are going.

1:44:54So I think for an older woman to coom, it would probably take a lot more than Tchaikovsky's fifth. Maybe some Beethoven. Maybe some Ludwig van. Oh, yeah. Some Ludwig veg Beethoven, dude. What about this? That sounded like somebody spraining an ankle, didn't it? Yeah. She just had a leg cramp. She's just been her fucking feet are asleep watching the fucking Philharmonic. What kind of miserable orgasm is that?

1:45:27Oh, come on. But also, we don't know that that was a... Like, afterwards, like, is it one of those things like, you know, people are raving about the L.A. Philharmonic. I came! Like, we don't know that that's what it is. it just makes for a cool story on the internet. That would be the best shirts if they started telling that. LA Philharmonic. I came. Or that mural that you see on the 110 downtown where there's always like all these fucking people that are in the LA Symphony. You're like, I don't know who the fuck that is. Put LeBron on a building. You know those things? Where it's like if you drive in LA, it should be like the guy, like the Yassik, whatever his name is, who's like super popular conductor.

1:46:12and that it should just be like, I came. As a matter of fact, here's this episode's call to arms. If you are into graffiti and street art, please put I came across any of the LA Philharmonic murals. There we are. There we go, right there. Oh, yeah, this guy. And that guy, let me say on the right, also looks like a French pedophile, dude. Anybody with a wood instrument, I feel like, definitely. Wood instruments are a gateway drug. I feel like, to taking advantage of your students. That's what I feel like. Yeah. There's all sorts of white space all over that guy at the top. You could totally do like.

1:46:54I can. You know what? Let me tell you something about my pad, Chad Coltrane. He was working with some weirdos at USC years ago. He didn't go through with this. But to build a drone that would do street art, so it could just paint the fucking top few floors of the US Bank building. maybe make it look like a penis. That would be something good for those tech kids. Forget about this AI thing. Build a drone that can get some graffiti on the mural up there to make it really look legit. So even the people who work with the LA Philharmonic are driving by and like, well, I guess that's there on purpose.

1:47:32LA Philharmonic. I came with a QR code that when you point your phone at it from the freeway, it goes, ah! Yeah. Yeah. That sounded like a... Play it again.

1:47:51Bro, here's what that sounds like. It sounds like when somebody hands, like at a restaurant, somebody hands, like a waiter hands a gay dude a really hot plate. Please don't touch that. It was just like, ah! Why didn't you tell me? Sir, I did tell you. yeah that does sound like the driest old lady orgasm I've ever heard it sounds like a woman it's like oh I had an orgasm but I don't feel good like oh man I think my orgasm ate something that was the worst feeling you've had orgasms that don't feel good some of them were just painful and I just feel a pit in my stomach yeah Yeah. That sounds like there was something big in her.

1:48:39Yeah. God. Not a penis. Yeah. Yeah. A foot. What else we got, Zat? I guess there was a bust at McDonald's and they found a bunch of 10 year olds working at McDonald's in Louisville. Oh, yeah. Yeah. This is crazy. I guess they were working late hours and also operating the deep fryer. The fryer. Which you have to be 16 to operate the fryer. Yeah. Look, I think if they're responsible kids and they want to do it, I'm okay with it. Well, it would be cool to... We say kids don't want to work and all this stuff. We finally catch two kids doing something, and we freaking bust them. Oh, my God, dude. Yeah, you want to talk about the generational differences in this country.

1:49:17Back during the fucking Great Depression, there was kids who were farming entire fucking fields. And all the soil was dead, and four seeds, and they're feeding an entire family, and they're seven years old pushing a plow. And now, stay away from the fire. You've seen it. You know how it works. You fucking toss some nuggets in it from a few feet away if you're too short to reach the top. What's the fucking problem? Get us those nuggets. Nuggets, that's it. This is the... McDonald's needs to, like, hang on to this story and just blame the kids when the ice cream machine doesn't work. It's like, it's not our fault.

1:49:52We got fucking kids back here. Yeah, it's Mario and Hector's fault. Yeah, there's a picture of them. Oh, no doubt these were not the kind of kids who get to go to Disney World like we were talking about. These are not those kids. These are definitely, definitely, yeah, I would imagine they may have been. I mean, of course these are the kids. But that would be a good commercial so the kids would be like, he's like me. Yeah, he's like me, dog. He's at Disney World. But the crazy thing is, bro, if you go to Disneyland, it is all Mexican people. Sure. That's also the irony of it, dude. You go there, it's fucking Latinos, dog.

1:50:32Yeah. It is Mickey Mouse 13. Well, they can cook anything. I mean, I always feel like, you know, if I go to a sushi place, like you love to go into the sushi place, and then you see behind the counter, behind the bar, it's like two guys are like, these guys are right out of Giro Dreams of Sushi. I'm always like, oh, this is going to be great. Or if I see some Latino dudes, I'm like, this is going to be fucking awesome. Because they also come with fucking flavor. They're not afraid. I'm not trying to be a weirdo here, but they're not afraid to put like a little tapate or a cholula in their shit.

1:51:05I don't shoot a fucking bullet right in the ring. How come this is? That's the breast around, dog. Did you hit it with the blowtorch at the top? Were they like, oh, he's seared salmon? No, it's just. Like, damn, dog, there's a 22 cartridge in my huevos, dog. You know what I'm saying, bro? That's what I'm talking about, dog. You'll never believe how I heated this up, fool. You want the eggs, cilantro? What do you want for lunch? Dude, I can't wait to fucking be Mexican next time I'm alive, dude. Ah, that would be great. I've already been praying about it. I've already been asking God about it. Yeah?

1:51:40Yeah. And I want to be. Yeah. Well, I just want to have some other. I don't want to not be able to come back and be alive again. That's scary to me. So I feel like I try to communicate with God about that and just let him know I do want to come back. and I do have interest in it. It's almost like you meet somebody who runs a business and you're like, hey, I'll let you know when I get out of college or whatever, I want to stop by and fill out an application. Dude, I mentioned my folks, right? They're Italian immigrants. My brother and sister were both born over in Italy and they came over. I think my sister was a toddler.

1:52:16My brother was an infant. So his brain popped on the plane. oh um so the the uh no but anyway uh you know my folks are they're like they're this big and brown and like olive skin brown eyes black hair and i came out wow you know i'm six three and had you're the focaccia huh it was like my mom when i was born i can't imagine it you were taller than her i was two feet tall my mom was five feet tall so that's a problem so i feel like i've got that little, like my mom's side of the family, little tiny, cute Italians, funny, you know, singing, laughing. And, um, my dad's side, I think has some more like Northern, uh, blood in them.

1:53:00So the next time around, I definitely have that coming. I'm going to be like, like a Joe Pesci or, you know, I'm going to be born in Columbia and just like, yeah, this is good. This is cool. And I got that coming to me. That's probably why I'm talking about, you know, inclusion in media and film and TV. Yeah, because what will we be next time, you know? Yeah, I'm not going to be able to play the big dopey fat husband in sitcoms. I'm going to have to be... I'm going to have to really bring it, you know? And it's like, I'm going to be on this fool, hopefully, if that show's still going. This fool, though.

1:53:32That show is fucking... Is it? Oh, it's fucking fun. I got to check it out. Yeah, it's a good show. Yeah, I love being around, like, Mexican people and listening to them. Dude, a lot of them... Did they have any Mexican people on MADtv? Yeah. Well, the first, before I was there, I showed up in the third season. And I want to apologize for that chair. I know it might be a little. No, remember the last time? Is this the same chair you bring this from the other studios? Last time it was hot, remember? Yeah, it was hot. I was wearing a fucking hoodie and a Santa hat, and I sweat right through. Remember, there was like a nice big patch of, I ruined the pleather.

1:54:09No, it's not that bad. I'm just, I wear shorts all the time, so my stuff is always sticking. Oh, that's good. Before I showed up at MADD, there was Pablo Francisco, stand-up. And then it was, while I was there, we had Nelson Asensio join the cast, and he was a fucking home run hitter. A lot of the shit was sorely missing from MADD TV. Like, you know, because he was doing Enrique Iglesias and Ricky Martin. Oh, yeah. And they used to do this thing called Buenos Dias San Diego with him and Mo Collins. It was so fucking funny. And then after that, I guess Angela Johnson, after I left, Johnny Sanchez.

1:54:49Oh, yeah. Yeah. So they finally got with it. Was there bits that you guys did back then that y 'all couldn't do now, you think? All of them. Really? Dude, I watched, like, it was on HBO Max for a minute, Mad TV. So I was like, oh, okay, I'll go watch. Like, I haven't seen it on a television screen in so long. It's all just, you know, like degenerated videos on YouTube. So, but only half the episodes out of a given season, and there were 14 seasons of that show, only half of the episodes in a season would show up. And I remember talking to a couple of my cohorts, you know, going like, when he came out, like, I wonder what happened.

1:55:29I think, and I think it's because, well, this shit is too fucked up. I think there's a lot of stuff that if you remember, If you remember some of it, it's like, what? You can't do any of that shit anymore. You just can't. And not this. This is tame. We're looking at Paul Timberman, which is like a guy who's got a building. Woodworker, woodshop teacher who cuts his appendages off. Yeah, he's always hacking himself up, and he's got a to-camera sort of this old house-type show where he's like, I'm going to build you a curio cabinet. Let's make a lazy Susan. and I'm sawing my fucking hand off. But a lot of the stuff that's like, you know, a lot of the racial shit we did, we had it all.

1:56:14Sexism, racism, you know, all the misogyny, homophobia. But, you know, we also had, there was a, you know, you can watch Mad TV and I can watch Mad TV and go, oh, that was, you know, this writer who's like, this is a gay writer who wrote this. And it's like incredible stuff where it's like slipping in their representation. I remember there's this one brilliant writer who was there for most of the years of the show, I believe, Scott King, Scotty King, who's a fucking genius. I remember this one sketch. You know a Scott King sketch when you see it. And I remember there was this one where it was TRL, right?

1:56:59So Pat Kilbane is Carson Daly, and it just pans by the kids. He's like, hey, what's up? Welcome to TRL. I'm Carson Daly. Today on the show, rah, rah, rah. And the kids are screaming. It's like we got NSYNC, Britney Spears, and the kids are screaming. And it's all like teenage girls are like, ah, screaming. And then he goes, and I'm Carson Daly. And all the girls sit down, and a fat 12-year-old boy goes, yay! You know, which is like so fucking funny. And it's like, that's Scott. That's Scott going, this is what I would have been. So even that, but even that, though, if you put it, you know, today and it's all, you know, you can't fucking joke about anything or whatever.

1:57:36That's crazy. I wish they had a show called Fat and Gay. Yeah. Fat, gay, 12-year-old. I would love to play the dad in Fat, Gay, 12-year-old. You know what I mean? Because also that's a fucking character arc for me. That's something for me as an actor to chew on. Because at first I could be that dad who's like, well, no son of mine, that whole thing. We ain't gaying out around here, boy. Eat another steak. Eat another ham steak, Billy. Yeah, put the barrettes back in the car. Yeah, we're not going to fucking Forever 21. Yeah, you get that glitter off your kneecaps. Why you got glitter on your kneecaps?

1:58:11Did I hear you wore glitter on your kneecaps at the baseball game, Billy? It helps me when I'm catching. I'm a catcher, and I got to bend at the knees, and the glitter helps me with my flexibility. Now go get your helmet on. We're getting back in the game. Yeah, but then after a while, he grows to understand his son. Maybe the dad falls asleep in his chair one night. He's drunk, right? Yeah. And then he wakes up and Billy Elliot is on or something. Billy Elliot. It's like a movie about a gay kid in Australia. Yeah. Or maybe, what's something with a gay kid in it? Glitter Knees. Yeah, Glitter Knees, yeah.

1:58:50Glitter Knees. YouTube is on and he finds out it's his son making it. He's watching a makeup tutorial. Yeah. And he's like, I recognize those knees. Oh, that's Magic Fart 60 right there. Right. And he's fucking painting, and the kid's painting his knees up. The next you want to do is you want to contour your kneecaps, and then you want to put glitter on the kneecap and right down the middle, and this is going to give the appearance. He's going to go, that sounds like Billy. And then he kicks down the fucking door, and Billy's live streaming, and he's doing a makeup tutorial putting glitter on his knees for the baseball team.

1:59:21Off my knees for dad. That's his handle. Off my knees for dad. Yeah, it's like he's trying to be not gay. He's like, I ain't being gay, boy. I'm off my knees for Dad. And then Dad comes around to it and is like, I love you no matter what. And then, oh, oh, oh, oh, this is a lovely scene. Here's a lovely scene at the end of the first season of Billy Elliot. You know, we've had the whole makeup tutorial, and Billy's putting glitter on his knees, and Bill Sr. is not having it, and they go through their whole thing, and he comes around, and so Billy's up to bat, and he's super nervous and his dad never shows up to games.

2:00:01And he's like, he's there and he's about to hit and he's facing a pitching machine run by an AI that only zooms him at 110 miles an hour. And he's like about to hit and he goes, he goes, you can, he hears, you can do it Billy. And he looks out into the stands and his dad's there in a pair of jammer shorts and he pulls him up and he's got glitter on his knees. And the boy's like, and he hits a fucking home run. Like the natural, right? And it hits the fucking lights because it's a night game. And then that's all glitter. Hits the light. And there's two dudes behind the scoreboard like back there just slurping on each other.

2:00:36And one of them, right when it hits the scoreboard, he pops out like this. Yeah. And the other one's got his foot in his asshole and he goes, ah! Like he's at the Philharmonic. And then Tchaikovsky starts playing and that's a fucking TV show. Hunt, hunt, hunt, hunt, hunt, hunt. Ah!

2:00:57That's how we get inclusivity And that's how, and then I'll win a fucking Emmy, right? For playing the fucking dad who came around, he's a good dude at the end of the day. And that's all I want. Just a big white guy and a mustache, a fucking white identifying Southern Italian by blood. But I'm a big white Canadian who enunciates most words. That's how whenever I'm around Tom Green, we fucking out enunciate each other. Hello, how are you, Tom? I am fine, Will. How are you? I am good. What is your favorite beverage at Tim Hortons? I like coffee. I also like coffee. Do you like the donuts? I do. They make good donuts.

2:01:41That's the most Canadian shit. That's all like the whole, hey, how's it going, eh, hoser? That's a Canadian thing for sure. But the most Canadian thing is to just be like, I'm sorry I cut you off in traffic. That is okay. Have a good day. Thank you very much. Here is a Tim Hortons coupon. Thank you very much. Here is a Tim Hortons coupon. We exchanged Tim Hortons coupons on the freeway. OMKFD, dude. Off my knees for dad, bro. Off my knees for dad. That's the musical. God. And what we're trying to say is these kids shouldn't be working at McDonald's. That's all we're trying to say. Get the fucking poor Mexican kids out of McDonald's bullshit.

2:02:20Or let them work. If they're going to... Dude, here's the thing. Every culture has had their time to be the first line of working in America. Every culture has. Absolutely. Irish people did it. Irish people were - Black people did it. I mean, they were - They had zero choice in the matter. They didn't have a choice, but they did it. Italians did it. Built the fucking country. Yeah. Starting with black people, then Irish people getting black lung in the mines and shit. Italians - Which is a little bit of reparations. I'm not saying it wasn't reparations, but giving that many people black lung, dude, is definitely a lot of people died from black lung.

2:03:01Oh, fuck yeah. How many people died from black lung? About as many as they're replacing at IBM.

2:03:10Thousand minors died from co-workers, pneumonia, sinuses. A year now? That's fucked up. So 76 ,000. Okay, so no, so it's still not closed, but it's like, anyway. Since 1968, 76 ,000. Right. Yeah, I mean, that's people die. You know, as an Italian by blood, I always kind of go like, you know, Italian. And also because I don't look, you know, like Joe Pesci. No, you don't. I got an Italian. I got my dad's nose. But that's about it. You know, I always kind of feel like, eh. Again, I'm not the person to say it because I don't look very Italian, but that's like the lightest, in my opinion, racism. Although I wasn't around in the 60s when a lot of, well, since the early 1900s, a lot of Italians were showing up in North America.

2:04:03But, you know, it feels like the 60s and the 70s, a lot of immigration in Canada. and I kind of feel like that's a, speaking as an Italian, Italian North American, an Italian Canadian American. Italian American. Baja. Yeah, from the Baja all the way down to South American Italian. You know, I always kind of feel like, eh, you know, you can't really be racial against Italians. Like, what are you going to say? And I feel like, like that Mario movie that came out and people were like, you know, they hired, you know, they got, Chris Pratt played Mario, which is something we talked about on Dudesy a lot, because it was like the first trailer you saw, it's like, I'm Mario, it's a me, Mario.

2:04:50What is this place? The Mushroom Kingdom, where am I? I'm Mario. That's not what he's supposed to sound like. But you know the studio got pressure, because it's like, you hire the biggest star that you can hire, and there's no real, like, you know, Guido sounding Italian American right now. Yeah. Maybe Sebastian Maniscalco could have done it, I don't know that there would be a, you know, he's, but you got to be a movie star. Right. You know what I mean? To push those numbers and make a billion, that movie made a billion dollars. And I want to say as an Italian American, hire whoever you want. That's my, that's my offering to inclusion.

2:05:25Chris Pratt's just fine. We in the Italian community don't give a shit because you can't really be racist against Italians. You're going to make fun of pasta. It's delicious. Fuck you. get whoever you want. You could even get the gal who played the Little Mermaid to play Mario. What about Black Mario? Black Mario would have been fine and there should have been a Black Mario video game. There should be like one mushroom that he hits that turns him into a black guy so then it's like C. Thomas Howell in that movie Soul Man which is fucked up. It's just a dude in blackface and Radon Chong buys it.

2:06:02remember this? do you remember that movie? dude I remember blackface so yeah I remember yeah you were around I mean I remember dudes doing it Soul Man is the trippiest fucking movie there he is wait I've never seen this this is a white guy? oh yeah there's a movie in the 1980s where C. Thomas Howell goes undercover essentially to go to college and he pretends to be a black man and then he hooks up with Ray Don Chong who absolutely buys it and we were all fine with it in the 80s. And that's not a problem in the 80s. And this was a feature film that came out in the movie theater. Wow. We have a history of comedy in this country that is hard to reckon with now.

2:06:47But I like to say that I'm grandfathered in because I was on fucking Mad TV in the 90s and the 2000s there where we, if you want to cancel me, just watch Mad TV. and then you know I'm fucked do you think at a certain point we'll be able to have character where everybody can be whatever at some point it should be able to be that way I think that I think that the shit's being stretched back so far now it's like this I feel like we're all in this weird it's like I said these things happen every 30 years it seems with regard to you know social you know just the the sand at the bottom of the sea getting mixed up.

2:07:30And before the smoke clears, this social upheaval that seems to happen every 30 years. We are in the middle of it now. We're in a pivotal point in our country and in our culture. And it's my hope that everyone, that what we'll be left with is equality for everybody. And if we can actually, and again, I don't, not to sound negative, but I don't think it's possible. As much as I would like to see, but I'm Canadian. We have our problems there for sure. A lot of crimes against the indigenous First Nations people of Canada, which is just absolutely fucking tragic. We have our problems there with other race relations also as well.

2:08:13But I'm from Canada where at least the kind of the curriculum as a kid, you know, was way more multicultural than it is here. I got here and I was like, wow, it's really fucking segregated socially. Oh, we had a scratch and sniff history book for a while. See? And the Italian scratch and sniff would have been fucking great. No racism there. Kids would have worn that out, just smelling fucking beefaroni or whatever you'd put in an American textbook. Dude, they just, go on. No, I was just going to say we're all fucked. But, you know, the thing about it is, I hope with regard to comedy that, you know, that comedy is just fucking comedy.

2:08:52We got to laugh. Gallows humor is really important. And if we're treating each other well and there's equality socially and everyone can laugh because everyone feels good about where they are in life and we are a society that takes care of one another. And, I mean, again, I'm from Canada where there's socialized medicine. It's pretty fucking good. and if you're not living in a fucking world where you're allowed to walk around and fucking eat berries and kick a chicken against a tree and do whatever you want and just build a fucking house without any code or anything like that, if we're going to live in a society where you're born into a fucking system, system needs to take care of everybody, period.

2:09:30And it ain't fucking happening and that's going to be my platform. But if that's the case and we can achieve something like that, again, I do not think it's possible at all. We're fucked. Let me just put that in there. I ain't running for office. But if we can do that, then we can start to laugh at absolutely everything again. Right now, people are not wanting to laugh at shit, and they have every right not to laugh at shit because stuff is fucking dire. So you can't go on mad TV and make fun of absolutely everybody. Although, you know, we had Aerie Spears, Deborah Wilson, Phil Lamar. But it was funny at the time.

2:10:06Hilarious. Makes me fucking laugh now. those people that i learned so much about black culture and laughing you know with them and also growing up watching that most people still just want to laugh they don't really care i think so but i think it's it's just like it's like you know it's like no one's gonna let themselves fucking laugh you know what i mean now that's interesting do we let ourselves laugh no do we keep ourselves from yeah we all get on this alert kind of where it's like don't point at me don't offend me you know i mean i got upset over the pandemic over like uh during the like last big election thing because the only people that people were making fun of was poor white people right and it was like well what the fuck did we do it's like yeah poor white people didn't even like we didn't do it like like we didn't do race like i'm sure that wealthier white people probably owned slaves.

2:11:03I don't know any, nobody I knew had a, they didn't, I don't think they ever had a slave, you know, or they're, they might've, but I couldn't imagine it, dude. But it's socially, it's just, if you look at it generally, totally socially acceptable to make fun of poor white, white people in 2020. Totally, totally acceptable. And, and, and none of it should be acceptable. Unfortunately or fortunately, things do need to be mixed up a bit and you need, and And, you know, I always, I use the example of in 2020 learning about Juneteenth. Yeah. I was like, I didn't fucking, I was telling black friends, I've never heard of the fucking Juneteenth.

2:11:44I don't know what the fuck that is. What is that? I had no clue. Most of my black friends have no idea what it is until it came out. It's that too, yeah. They kind of launched it a few years ago, I feel like. I mean, I know they didn't, but it's like, if you'd have asked any black kid where I'm from or what Juneteenth was, they'd have no fucking clue. Yeah. No, but it's interesting what you're saying about like it's like, oh, yeah, it's easy to make fun of fucking, you know, poor white people. I feel like that's another symptom of the social sort of, again, the silt at the bottom of the ocean getting smoked up.

2:12:16Do you think we as comedians and we have to be the ones to kind of like see where the thing is at then, you know? I think, yes, I think, you know, in your avenue with podcasting and stand-up and sort of, you know, I'm primarily an actor, but I love doing weird shit on the internet and doing podcasting and stuff. And also, you know, if I can be responsible for any sort of weird creative shit, if I ever get to, you know, work on things and make stuff. It is up to us. But it is also, it's quite a responsibility because we're, it's this bizarre currency of quote unquote cancellation, which some people don't even think exists, which is to me, it's weird.

2:12:59It's like, well, you just said cancellation. That means that it's a word. It's a term. It exists. and I think that you have to be you have to be a brave comedian to kind of, look it's not fun to just go out there and go I want things to be the way they used to be in the 90s that to me personally as a comedy fan, to me that's hack it's like to not push shit fucking forward, great comedians have a complete, like I'm sure you love him, I love George Carlin right, like just come on that guy was always years ahead of his time and always shot right down the middle. You knew exactly what he was thinking and he represented himself completely honestly.

2:13:42I think that comedians who are being 100 % honest and not just trying to be shocking for shocking sake or say, I should be allowed to say this because I said it in 1995. I think audiences today, that's fine, but your audience is going to be awfully specialized if you just want to be a prick about things and say everyone should laugh at these things that currently people are sensitive about and for good reason. If you can find new things to laugh about. There are new things to laugh about in our completely fucking bizarre social climate. It's fucking bizarre. You just said, I got black friends I grew up with that wouldn't have known Juneteenth.

2:14:30That's a joke you couldn't say in 1998 because absolutely nobody knew what the fuck you were talking about with Juneteenth. But 2020 was such a rife year of the pandemic and the social Black Lives Matter. It was wild. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So it's like now I think you can, but you've got to be smart about it. And I'm not smart about it. I'm not saying that's me at all. Yeah, I've never been. But I do think that people will start to chill out a little bit because socially what happens, in my opinion, is just my opinion with these waves, is that people all get fucking tired. At the end of the day, most people just want the same shit.

2:15:25They want to be able to take care of their families. They want to have something nice for dinner. They want to know that they're safe at home. they want to know that if they go to the wrong fucking door they're not going to get shot in the face the horrible shit that's happening right now because everyone is so wound up and charged up it's truly fucking scary people are scared man I realized the other day I'm walking up to a car and it wasn't my car I get right by the door handle I realize it wasn't my car it looked just like my car there's somebody sitting in that car and I'm like oh my god that person could fucking shoot me right now yeah And I wouldn't even think it was crazy because that's just where the fear level is at.

2:16:03It's like all these POV videos of all this fear. It's interesting, man. It's a fiery time out there. And I'm never afraid of anything because I look like a gigantic football coach cop and I drive a Tahoe. So I could technically be a park ranger. We need that Alex Jones back, though. Just in general? I think we need him. You know what I would love to see him do? And this is what I thought he was going to get into was like a regular guy's job after he had the big lawsuit against him. Was manager in like a Denny's or something. Manager in like an IHOP. Yeah, I got... You got to get the moons over my...

2:16:44They're making the moons over my hammy gay!

2:16:50I'm a humanist. You got... Let me tell you something about these people out here eating mozzarella sticks. I've eaten mozzarella sticks at Bohemian Grove. It was invented by Mark Twain.

2:17:07And originally, it was just a place for these globalists. It was actually a lot of closeted homosexual activity happening there, mostly by Republicans. But Democrats took it over. and John F. Kennedy, Bobby Kennedy Jr. Bobby Kennedy. They went out to Bohemian Grub. You can still go there. It's in Northern California. And they're deep in the forest, wearing robes like druids. Sir, I want an omelet, sir. I'm waiting for an omelet. Yeah, what do you want? How would you like your eggs? You want white toast? Wheat toast. I hate this uniform. Just always ripping off his fucking polo shirt. You want to see my name tag?

2:17:52You know, and these people are, they're reptiles. I've seen it up close. They don't have skin like you and me. I've been up close. I've been next to Nancy Pelosi, Hillary Clinton. These people are not human. They're interdimensional beings. They come in, they open rends in the fabric of time and space. And they walk through. I don't want to see it. Everybody wants the same thing at the end of the day. They just want to be able to watch, you know, sit down, eat their frijoles. Watch white porn with their family. Watch white porn with their family.

2:18:30And watch this fool on TBS. What's up with acting, man? What's going on? You got Dudesie going? Any new adventures going on with you? I'm about to go shoot a movie in Canada called 1989. No. Yeah, that'll be fun. You ever heard of a Canadian cult classic called Fubar? Mm-mm. Okay, so... I know what it means. Yeah. Yeah. So there's Fubar and there's Fubar 2, and this fucking brilliant dude, there's these two guys, you know, Diener and Terry, and one of them, Paul Spence, he's the one in the green on the right there, and then Terry's on the left. Okay. So it's the origin story of the Diener, of Dean, and I play his dad and it's sort of like and he's part First Nations so there's sort of that bent to it which will be interesting which is a very Canadian theme so I'm doing that I'm doing another season of the show Acapulco and then I don't know just picking up acting work it's fucking weird now because we got this strike oh yeah the strike's going on listen I just want to do again you know I would love to just play the dad in what is it Billy Elliot what's it called Oh, Billy.

2:19:46Sparkle knees. Don't. Get off my knees for dad. Yeah. That would be, at this point, you know, look, here's some more defeatist negativity for me. Yeah. I don't know what's happening to our business. When I think about, you know, what my pad Chad Culchin says with regard to AI, and he'll point right the fuck at me and go, your job will be obsolete very soon. And I'm like, no, it won't. And I go, your job will be obsolete very soon. and he's a brilliant writer, and he goes, bring it on, motherfucker. Can't wait. He's doing a couple podcasts, so I guess his bread is buttered there. Hopefully we continue to do dudesy.

2:20:25I love acting. It really is my passion. You offer so much joy and talent to people. Cheers, man. Likewise, dude. No, not like you do something, though. What do you mean I do something? You do something. You have a real skill set. What are you talking about? You're fucking up in front of thousands of people bringing your stories out there. You're one of the best doing it right now, period. That's nice, man. It's true, Theo. I feel like you're really, really talented, man. I feel like you're really, really talented. Here's a Tim Hortons. I'll give you my Tim Hortons thing. Two for one donut. Thank you.

2:21:03Yeah, I mean, look, everything's fine then. Yeah, everything's fine. Yeah, I think we're going to be okay. Hey, this is the bottom line, everybody. Everything's going to be fine. Just hang out at home, and when you eat them chicken McNuggets, know that two probably underprivileged children that were 10 years old made your nuggets. So when you get to the center and you see that it's pink and you realize, oh, fuck, now I'm going to be shitting myself all night, just know it's not the kid's fault. They don't know how to work the fucking fryer. get your own fucking fryer and go out to Bohemian Grove and make your own fucking make a fire and boil some peanut oil and make your own chicken nuggets kick a chicken against a tree these are actors, a lot of those guys a lot of them are actors you want to talk about what is it, Spaceland Pizza or whatever without the basement where the guy went in there and shot it up the guy came on a napkin for the kids came on a napkin with his glittery knees you're listening to Tchaikovsky and just coming as hard as you can out there.

2:22:06There's nothing but forest out there at Bohemian Grove. Come as loud as you want, you crazy old weird fucking pervert lady. I love it. We get her out there. We all wear masks. Yeah. You know, fucking sex party style like Tom Cruise and Cameron Diaz. And no one knows who's who. And I just got my fist up in something. There's a little heat in there. And then I pull it out and I hear, oh, and I'm like, it's Mitch McConnell. I know that's Mitch McConnell. I've made him come several times at Bohemian Grove. Yeah. Nancy Pelosi wearing a strap-on fucking Mitch McConnell in the ass and then just wears his hole like a shoe and he goes, Oh, rock and roll.

2:22:47Start playing in the background. The kind of music just soothes the soul. And it's actually Bob Seger. I reminisce about the days of old when you could make shitty jokes on Mad TV. God, boy, Free cum for everybody That's what they're doing You know what I think is interesting though Will I think in the end I think we all end up back in the Native American style I think that something happens with society I think it falls at some point It has to It doesn't hold up And I think we all end up back in small tribes Trying our best to take care of each other And begging for the information Of the nations You know the original nations people I think anyway, who knows?

2:23:34I don't know. The Earth has a way of making itself new, whether or not we're here. And it's like Ed Norton said in Fight Club, in the future I see, you will be climbing the wrist-thick kudzu vines up the Sears Tower because all this shit will be turned off. AI won't be any fucking worry, and it will be tribes. Have you watched Chimp Empire? Not yet. Watch Chimp Empire on Netflix. Really? That's where we're going. yeah they're of course you know they're chimps they share 99 % of our DNA and I learned a lot of stuff about fucking chimps and I agree with you they're tribal and I feel like and they just want to take care of their own and every once in a while they kill someone from the other fucking tribe to show like hey our alpha is better than yours and but I agree and speaking as a Canadian I would love nothing more than to you know than to eat fucking raw salmon that's been, again, prepared by any of the guys at the sushi place that are searing the top with a freshly used AK-47.

2:24:43A lot of times they're painting their eyes like that on the edge of Mexican guys to make them even look Asian in a lot of Japanese restaurants. That's what's crazy to me. You seen this, Zach? Bring it up. Wait, that's a thing? Japanese-ing out Mexican guys. Are you wearing tights? I'm wearing these shorts, and now I got the same... I don't know if you can tell, but I'm... Oh, yeah. Yeah, I'm moistening your chair again. I like that. I got glittery knees and fucking wet thighs right now. It's that time of year, man. Yeah. We'll wrap up soon. What happened here, Zach? Are you seeing any of this?

2:25:19No, I'm not finding any. Mexican man, Chinese restaurant. That's not what you should look up, then. What should I look up? Mexican-ing Chinese people.

2:25:33Are you looking on images, man? Mexico's Chinese communities are seeing reverse migration. That's not it. Go to SushiDan.com. They got a few of those guys working there. I'm joking, of course. Oh. Well, people know what we mean. Will Sasso, ladies and gentlemen. You can check him out on the dudesy pod. I think we talked about a lot of stuff, huh? Yeah, dude. Yeah. This was awesome, man. Man, thank you so much for coming in. It was a pleasure. And yeah, good luck with AI, man. Just be careful. I will. Now I'm just floating on the breeze. And I feel I'm falling like these leaves. I must be cornerstone.

2:26:20Oh, but when I reach that ground, I'll share this peace of mind I found I can feel it in my bones But it's gonna take a little