E445 Brianna Chickenfry

27:49Dude, I had to freaking... I didn't nanny or whatever, but some guy from the gym hired me to watch his kids for like two weeks, bro. It was fucking so unreal. What were they like? It was horrible. Well, I remember like, I feel so bad about this, but I like found like a bunch of porn at the parents' house or whatever. And like, so I would just, I was torn between like, you know, making sure these kids got off to school and stuff. And then like, like just looking at different pornographers that they had at the house. But what was a guy like? The dad, the dad was a nice guy. I'd seen him since later on down the line.

28:27Everything seemed pretty, pretty cool. Nice kids. Kids were cool, you know, but. You're good now? Yeah, they were good then. Oh, okay. Yeah, there was no, I didn't affect them in any way. How do you talk to kids? Like, do you know how to talk to kids? I think I talk to them like adults, really. Okay. You're just like, what's up? Yeah, I think. I feel like if you get a kid and you know, if you look at, if you really, they seem like, some of them are fucking idiots, you know, but some of them seem like they know what's up. You know? Yeah. Okay, so what else happened then? All right, so you're in school.

29:02Where are you working at? I'm working now. I'm at someone's house. I was a nanny. Okay, you were a nanny. I was in school. I was pre-med, though. What? Yeah. Oh, so you're smart then. Yeah, I was biochem major. Wow. So I was doing all right. I was doing all right. But I wasn't like, I wasn't that good. I was like bottom of the class. But I still had like a 3-2. Okay, 3-2 is good, though. A 3-2. And I wanted to be a PA. So I wanted to go to a PA school. And what is it, PA? a physician's assistant okay so it's like the least time in medical school but you make the most money so i wanted to do that because i only had to go to two years of med school after okay but then i started making tiktoks okay yeah so i started making tiktok so you went from pre-med to tiktok fast okay and was your first tiktok like at the pre was it involving like medical stuff or notice whatever no i was just i was uh hungover that was my thing i was the hungover girl oh now i get it yeah yeah that is your thing you're always like hung over dang yeah yeah you're always hung over and having to like travel you're always hung over and having to like go back into the world and deal with whatever's going on in your life you're like this is how you like yeah this is kind of like a problem yeah this is how you put your neck brace back on if you fucking had too many white claws at a prosthetic conference you know like there's a yeah now i I didn't realize it before.

30:29Yeah, that's what it was. Now I see. Yeah, it's like, okay, this is how it goes. Interesting. Yeah, so I was a hungover girl. Okay, so you're a hungover girl. You're doing TikToks. But then do you feel like you have to get fucked up, though? Yeah, for sure. Because that's why people followed me. So I was like, I've always got to be drunk when people meet me. Because I'm socially awkward. And on social media, I'm not socially awkward. So when people meet me and I'm sober, they're like, whoa, you're weird. Really? Yeah. Yeah. Why? You don't seem weird right now. I don't know. I feel like when I meet people out, they want me to be so crazy and over the top, but I'm not crazy and over the top in real life.

31:07So I was just drunk all the time. Right. Yeah. Yeah, you seem like an alcoholic that fucking commandeered like an urban outfit a lot of times to me. Yeah, a little bit. Yeah, a little bit. That's funny. But I mean that in the sweetest way possible. No, that was sweet. Yeah. Thank you. Is it because you feel like you make the best stuff when you're hungover? Like your brain is the most creative then or something? Or what do you think? Well, I was just in college, so I was always hungover. So I just started making videos. Oh, okay. I just was hungover all the time. And I didn't think anyone was going to follow me.

31:40That's why I made my shit chicken fry. And I'm stuck with it. Oh, yeah. I'm stuck with it. Yeah, because I was thinking, I remember asking David, I thought it was like a Native American thing, you know? I know you did. Yeah. Yeah. Because I was trying to think, because I grew up around, they had a lot of Native Americans by us. There's a river in my town. It's called the Chifuncta River. And it's named after the Chifuncta Indians, right? But they got their name because a long time ago, one of them threw like a big rock into the water. And that's a sound that it made when it went in. Yeah. And that's what they call themselves.

32:20Isn't that crazy? That's cool. Yeah. Kind of interesting. Oh, then I should say that I should make up a cool story about chicken fry. That's what I think. It's not a cool story. What do you think I should say? Because everyone asks me, and it's not a cool story. Yeah, I think it sounds like it could have some chicken fry. It sounds like it could have some, like, maybe some African history to it or some native history. You know, it sounds like it could have a chef, you know, maybe Emeril. Okay. Maybe you relate it to like Wolfgang Puck or whatever that guy's name is. But I'm trying to think of what else you could do with it.

32:59Yeah, I want to do something cool. Yeah, I'm trying. I know. I need you. You're not doing anything. You're just telling me to do it. I need you. Okay. What about, what would other Native American names be for like the other people at Barstool? Oh, like, do you think they all start with ch? Oh, ch. Do you think they all start with like a ch sound? is the tribe. We got, oh, Cha-ching. That's Dave's? Yeah, Cha-ching. Because he gambles and he sold the business for a lot of money. Cha-chinga, maybe. Cha-chinga? Cha-chinga for Dave. Yeah, Cha-chinga. Cha-chinga. I like that one. That's a great one.

33:36What about Glennie?

33:39Cheese. Yeah, Cha-cheese. Cheese. Cha-cheese. Yeah, yeah, definitely cheese because he went, when he was on here, he was telling me he went to a cheese shop. He knows a lot of, he knows a man And there's a cheese monger who is somebody who like is like basically the Batman of cheese. Right. And so he went and hung out with that. Like, like Glennie went to like a fucking Glennie's like, I'm walking down the street. Some guy pops out of a cheese shop, like the head of cheese, like Mr. Cheese fucking like Larry Queso's fucking white boss. You know, like he fucking pops out, you know, fucking Ronnie mozzarella pops out of the back.

34:15And he's like this way, son. And he like took him into the back of like a cheese world. And then he said he sat at like a beautiful story. The first story he told me, he goes, we sat at a beautiful table and the guy keeps bringing out different cheeses and this and that and grew here and grew here and grew everywhere. Like he's just like every type of cheese came out, you know? Oh, that's great. And then like three hours later, they just like threw him back out into the fucking street. And he was done, never saw him again. Never saw him again. Like it all didn't even happen. Oh, that must have been a good day for Glennie.

34:47Oh, it was. He was so excited, you know? Yeah. So he's cheese. Yeah, he's to cheese. You have to change to cheese. What do you think Caleb would be? Maybe to cheerful. Oh, he's to cheerful. He is pretty cheerful. Cheerful. And he wasn't really a quarterback in college. He was basically the first male cheerleader at the University of North Carolina. But he doesn't like to say that. We were out. We were out a couple of weekends ago. and the owner of a bar, he brought out Caleb's jersey that he made him sign it. He brought it out to him. He's like, I'm just like, I really respect you. You got to sign it.

35:27Caleb brings out the Sharpie and he couldn't think of what to write on it. He was so embarrassed. He was so embarrassed, but he signed it. It was clean. It was probably his original jersey and it was still clean, I'm sure. He was like, there's only two ever. How did you get this? Because the other one's at my house. that's funny so yeah maybe too cheerful I don't know if too cheerful is exactly it I'm not saying it's not cha cha cha cha cha cha I feel like he's like a cha cha guy he's a dancer I don't know I saw him win $20 ,000 at a casino and then tried to buy the late the the card tender whatever her name is Kia Sorento Kia Sorento yeah really was she offended Well, at one point, he's like, I'm buying this bitch a Kia Sorento.

36:17And that's when people are like, you got to leave. You got to get the fuck out of here. And literally, you could see how bummed out she was because she knew she was about to get a Kia Sorento. But just because he called her a bitch, the pit boss is like, we don't use that language around here. Oh, fuck. She's waiting in the parking lot. Yeah, dude. It's like, dude, you can call me a bitch if you're going to get me a fucking Kia Sorento. You can call me whatever. Yeah, she needed that. Yeah. Oh, fuck. Kia Sorento was also, we had a lot, that Kia company, they named their cars, I feel like, after a lot of black girls that went to my high school.

36:46Kia Sophia, Kia Sorento. What's the other ones at? Kia Forte. Oh, yeah. Kia Optima? Dog, you telling me Kia Optima didn't fucking play basketball for the women's basketball team at my high school? You're out of your mind, cuz. No, that's my sister. That's Kia Optima. Yeah, it is. She's like, ah, Kia Optima. But she's driving a Chrysler 300. so does she throw up gang signs and stuff or what is she like i stay away from her she's crazy man she's so crazy there was a whole time she was on she's been doing she's she was going through it all she was on there was a period no but there's a period of time where she was doing meth or something and she thought she shaved her head she shaved it because oh wow yeah she thought there was people talking to her it was sad but then she like she dropped off her um her tv at my house all of her phones she's like they're listening you gotta take it she was deep huh yeah she was deep but she's good now but it was great it was crazy to watch wow yeah but she's blackfishing sober and so blackfishing is when you try to go to the black side you try to be black i think yeah or you want you want to be perceived as black but then if anyone were to be racist you'd be like what take a makeup wipe and be like i'm white oh i see what you're saying yeah yeah i used to i think sometimes man when i was young i related to a lot of the black kids so much i would but then when it came down to one time me and this my friend devin we were fishing and uh and he was black and some white guy was throwing rocks up from this railroad track down bus we were fishing on this bank and he started calling us the n-word right and i was like not me you know i'm saying just devin you know i'm saying like you know like i was like i was down with devin until that part of that i was like i mean fuck the guy throwing rocks you know the guy's a piece of shit but at the same time like that ain't me yeah i don't include you know what i'm saying like that's when i realized i'm only there you know he was my friend and i was gonna rock with him but so you wouldn't blackfish i wouldn't blackfish yeah i would fish with blacks yeah sorry i stepped on your joke that's okay yeah i didn't realize it that's a funny joke yeah that's a good one yeah so you wouldn't blackfish no no but i would fish with the blacks yeah wait what's it like hanging out with comics are comics cool you like them you like yourself oh i don't know about that let's start with other people that's safe okay uh let me think do i like hanging out with comics yeah i think comics are intrinsically kind of low but like like or do they do a lot of stuff by themselves so i think well yeah i feel like comics always want this big like oh we're so we're so dark and sad and lonely but like are they every single one of them i don't know i i think a lot of them have a lot of them probably have a lot of like strange stuff or weird things that they that they ended up needing to go get people to look at them you know you know what i'm saying yeah i think so so i think someone probably have some dark stuff like that you know i bet someone probably have some pretty dark things so i think there's probably some truth to that But I think also now there's a lot more like people that are funny from like TikTok, from like short clips, from like different things like that.

40:06So I think you're getting like a lot more like, I don't even know if, like, I don't know if there's as many, if I'm starting out now as a comedian, I wonder, do I try and get on stage, which is where you learn to be a comedian, right? or do I just try and get in front of my phone that's true well also as because you do stand up and everything do you do you like respect the people that start on TikTok because I know a lot of stand-up comics that are like they hate people that start on TikTok and then bring a crowd to a show that's a good question I remember I got jealous when there was a lot of YouTubers there was like um roman atwood uh dennis roman and dennis were partner dennis roadie um fousey tube some of those guys were touring and going to comedy clubs right and they would do their shows during the day even a lot of times and i was envious really i mean i was jealous you know because they were having more success like you had comics you've been on the road for like nine years going to these clubs and then these guys were showing up and having their audience come see them at a comedy club so i think that's what made it a little strange first so it's the comedy club well it was like oh you're doing it at our space yeah okay but those clubs just happened to be kind of the size for the audiences they were bringing so that's i never really thought about why there was there was like in the beginning there was like some angst towards for me anyway and I think a lot of people felt that way.

41:42A lot of comedians felt that way. It was angst towards some of the vloggers. Yeah, for sure. Because it was like, fuck, their son at my club for like a five o 'clock show because some of their audience would be children. So they do a daytime show, yeah. And then they do a daytime show. But were they doing comedy, though? Or they were just getting up there and... They would get up on stage and shoot a t-shirt cannon or something, you know? Okay. Or fucking, you know, or do like a cheer. I don't know what they were doing. Yeah, like body rolls and shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

42:14Yeah, they were doing body rolls, dude. Which is way weird to do for a fucking bunch of children. So weird. They still do that. It's crazy. It's crazy. I guess there's people still body rolling on. Oh, they're still body rolling. Oh, why? I don't know. Because it sells. It works. I mean, look at them. They were selling out the comedy store and you weren't. You were up there all mad. That's true. Yeah. And I was outside, I was waiting for my show, which was at seven o 'clock that nobody was coming to. I'm like, these motherfuckers. You're out there and you're hitting it on the street trying to body roll.

42:48So yeah, yeah. Like it doesn't look natural. Put on that Nelly. So I think, I think there maybe, I think there could be some angst about it. I think at that time there was probably some angst about it. But now I think that it's, it's almost like you go there first. Yeah. A lot of comedians aren't thinking that you go to the stage first. I think there's some. If you're a comedian right now who does who's working really hard in the clubs, but you're having trouble on social media, it must be extremely frustrating. I'd be mad. I'd be mad because there's well, I mean, a lot of the stand up comics that do like TikTok first, they just have their few clips that go viral and then people will come see them and they won't be funny.

43:32Right. Yeah. That's another problem I think is scary. if you get more popular than where you can support it with your own comedy. Yeah, I see that a lot. You do? Yeah. Yeah. I went to, I see a bunch of people because I follow, I mean, I'm friends with a bunch of influencers and TikTokers, so I'll follow them on TikTok and like, I'll see their stand up on TikTok and then you go see them and it's like those same jokes that went viral. That's like their two big hits in the show and the rest is just like a lull. But I think some people, I don't even know if like a real young audience, if they even know like that there is this whole stand-up comedy thing or do they just think i'm gonna go see these two hits i'm gonna have a blast while i'm there i'm gonna capture it on my phone on socials and then that's gonna be that well yeah they must not because they keep going like the lines are around the block and stuff so i guess like a live podcast is what they think it is yeah but there's something really special about seeing um if there's somebody you watch on tiktok and social media and you enjoy him right there's somebody on a podcast or something i've sat in the audience i've like sat in the audience before and been like oh man this is so cool i watch this guy i'm involved in their life for this girl and then i get to be in the same room as them it almost sometimes there's part of it it doesn't really matter what they're saying like it'd be great if the material is also great but just being in the same room as them it's almost like you get like a moment like in in like in reality like it's cool it's cool they're always on a screen right right and then the right there it's like oh this is cool it's kind of like you for me just to be in them oh it's true right yeah yeah because we never even seen each i felt like i was like this morning i was like yeah i can't remember the last time that i saw this lady and then i was like oh i never saw this lady i never saw her i kind of felt the same way i was like i feel like i i saw this guy before but i never saw this guy yeah i never saw this guy no no um but i know some of your even just watching you like i see some just like some of your mannerisms are the same but um which makes sense because that's you um okay so what happened then you were in high school oh yeah i was in high school and and you got a boyfriend in your senior year did y 'all fall in love you think oh and then you moved to ohio for the man yeah wow so you were in love then i was in love i think so and did y 'all get engaged at all no crazy no no way but yeah i moved there i think i was pregnancy scares or not?

45:52Oh, I think I'm infertile. Okay. There you go. Yeah. I know a little no Easter over here, huh? Yeah. Yeah. It's tough. But I already got that no Easter on her. But no, no, no pregnancy scares. Um, but I was dating him for two years and I realized I don't, I don't know why I went to school for this man. I don't know why I went to Ohio out of everywhere. So I broke up with him, but I stayed in Ohio. Okay. And then I got another boyfriend in Ohio. Okay. And are you that kind of person? You jump from boyfriend to boyfriend? Yeah. Really? I'm a relationship girl. You are? Yeah. But do you leave any time?

46:28Like, is there... There's an overlap usually. No. Always an overlap. Every time. So you are, okay. That's not called an overlap. That's called, I think it's, I don't know what the term for it is now. What do they call it, Zach? Overlap. Might be cheating. It's an overlap. Yeah. They used to call it cheating okay now i call it overlap okay yeah dang that's interesting there's been a few yeah there's well there's only been a few overlaps do you let the men meet each other like in passing like is there like a moment where you get out of one car and into an like you know is there that at least give the men that moment the first there was a the first one the other was an overlap meeting really yeah no way what happened well because i usually just i just date my friends so like we'll be in the same friend group and then they'll all know each other there will always be that overlap and the guy the guy I'm dating currently usually can tell that I'm gonna want to date the friend no way really yeah but I'm saying like always it's been like three times okay yeah it's been like three overlaps but that seemed like a pretty decent amount I think like I'm not a detective or anything right I don't even know any detail I mean I know one guy he's not a detective but he'll fucking he'll find out but um when he hears this he will you know but uh But definitely.

47:47What were you talking about? Oh, yeah. Yeah, dude, you got to fucking let them meet each other. Sometimes, yeah. Yeah, just like. And it seemed like you might have a problem then. Yeah. Yeah. Do you think you do? Yeah. Well, I just have commitment issues. Oh, yeah. You know, come on. Yeah. I just have commitment issues. So I feel like I'll be in these relationships. And I'm so worried. Aren't you so worried? Do you want to get married? Not today, if that's what you're asking. No, but like eventually. Oh, yeah. I thought you were asking me. No, I have, I would like to get married. Yes. But I think if I want to get, I'm so scared you get married.

48:26And then like three weeks into the marriage, you find that person that's like, oh, that's, I should have married that guy. What? You can't do that though. That's why I don't, I know. Yeah. See, that's a problem. Well, yeah, but there's always going to be more that guys, you know? I know. But do you. Let me think about it. So you get into a mirror. All right. You walk down the aisle, everything, right? Everybody's singing. Everybody's having a blast, right? You're partying. The car pulls up. The mafia car. You get in. Takes you guys only two blocks away. Then you get back and walk back out. It's just for pictures.

49:05But still, right? You're off, right? You did the wedding thing. There's a fucking guy with a Tommy gun. Somebody stepped at us out there fucking shooting at the moon. right because he's been doing coke at the fucking nuptials but whatever everybody's fucking having a good time right and then um two weeks later you're yeah you're at a uh buca de bepa or something with your husband and you fucking see there's a waiter and you're like oh i should have married that guy yeah i don't know if it's a waiter maybe the chef something okay i'm just worried i just get worried you married the wrong person that's scary right it is yeah it's real scary um yeah i don't know did you ever go to therapy about it do you really think that or not yeah no i really think that but fuck dude because then your husband how is he always going to be able to make sure that he's the right guy then i know well i think it was because so when i was talking about earlier my parents i've never they were married for 18 years my first 18 years of my life, but I never even saw them kiss.

50:09Not one time. 18 years. I don't even think they hugged. Not even a smile. So I have this whole thing that marriage is terrible. So I'm trying to turn the leaf. I'm trying to think maybe it's okay. You're trying to evolve there. Yeah, I'm trying to evolve in that. In that aspect. You need like a springtime in your heart. Yeah. Or primavera. That's what they call it. Okay. In Spain. Primavera. I need that. Today's episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. You know, I got therapy today, actually. Just remembered, got therapy today at 6 p.m. I'm going to do that therapy. Be a therapy baby, be a therapy boy.

50:48You know, I need help. I quit pretending I don't. I quit pretending I can do everything myself. I never have, my whole life. I've always thought I'm doing this alone. I'm not. There's other people helping me, whether I realize it or not. And that's why I need to just make sure that I stick with that idea, that I'm getting help for myself. I'm not doing life alone. It's no fun and it's impossible. BetterHelp can set you up with a licensed therapist. That's right. If you're thinking of starting therapy, give BetterHelp a try. It's entirely online, designed to be convenient, flexible, and suited to your schedule.

51:25Just fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a licensed therapist and switch therapists at any time for no additional charge. Find more balance with BetterHelp. Visit BetterHelp.com slash T-H-E-O to get 10 % off your first month. That's BetterHelp help dot com slash Theo. Yeah, I only saw my mom and dad kiss one time. My dad kissed my mom on the top of her head. It was one of our birthdays or something. And my mom let him. That was a crazy thing. The whole time my dad's lips were getting close to her head, we're all like, somebody's going to get the fuck beat. and i remember reaching over and my mom had like this fancy cake cutting tool and it like it was an old-fashioned one it had these prongs that went straight down it was almost like a pick like a hair pick and there were sharp metal ones and it was like a she probably got it somebody had died and she got it right and so i knew i fucking remember reaching for that thing and it's moving it out of her way like as i saw my dad's lips towards her head i'm like somebody's gonna fucking get hurt so it's gonna die but she took it yeah i was like my dad's about to fucking lose that brain cake that he's got bro she's gonna fucking slice that thing up but she had had half a cup of champagne and she fucking took it okay so that's the only time you saw them kiss yep and that was love man that was my definition of love right there there was like weaponry there was a lot of uncomfort yeah there was a lot of uncertainty if it's okay um there was a lot of like uh tons of fear around.

53:02I mean, yeah, I think that's the closest I ever saw my parents get. And then my dad, he had to sleep on the couch. I thought he lived on the couch, right? My dad too. Really? My dad lived on the couch. Yeah. And then he moved to the basement because it was darker down there. Oh, really? Damn, dude. Yeah, and I remember I was like, the one time I was like, oh, they're doing well is when my mom would let me sit in the back seat. But like when we would travel together, usually I would sit in the front seat and my mom would sit in the back and my dad would drive. But when my mom sat in the front, I was like, oh, maybe they're doing good.

53:34This little light of mine. They're doing good. Yeah, it was good. Oh, that's cool. Yeah, moving to the basement, it's almost like because it's darker down there. It's almost like I want to kill myself, but I'm going to stay alive. Yeah, yeah. It was one of those. Yeah. Yeah. Wow, that's crazy. Yeah, I remember at Christmas, we would have to go out to the Christmas tree that was out there by my dad, right? So we're like, fucking dad is guarding the tree. but my dad was you know my dad was very old when i was born he was 70 when i was born so at this time he was like 76 or 75 right how old was your mom my mom was 32 so they had 38 years difference which is a lot of time that's a lot of time um and anyway we would have to sneak out like past my dad right and sometimes he would fucking wake up and ask us like what was going on we're like it's fucking it's christmas yeah we were trying to explain christmas to him and shit like he didn't know what the fuck was going on was he like because he was so was he like senile he was getting kind of senile yeah i remember one time we went trick-or-treating and uh we got all dressed up and we let and my dad sometimes my mom like she would make my dad do things but she knew he couldn't do them right so it was like she would kind of set him up for failure in a weird way she'd be like i need you to get the kids halloween costumes um and bring them home tonight's halloween right yeah so my dad he liked to drink sometimes and park his car in the ditch right those were like two of his favorite things to do and so he would come home with the halloween costumes and it would be shit like like me and my brother were both raggedy ann right so like just whatever he fucking found like no it was always the worst halloween costume like one can of like spray paint one time it wasn't even like the stuff you're supposed to put on the kids or whatever like for a wall oh dude one of my sisters had a fucking pigtail that that i remember mom had to cut off and we kept it for like 15 years um i had the same witch costume for like 12 years and it started not fitting anymore it was so itchy i was like please can i be something else please and then i was a milk carton i had to paper mache it it was so bad dude you're not even a witch at that point you're just a itch scratching it i was itching so bad

56:03um but then i remember we went we were finally got out and we get out and go trick-or-treat and we came back then we're like we're gonna come back to our own house we're gonna surprise dad right so we go up to the door we knock he opens the door and he just gives us candy he doesn't even fucking realize that it's us He fucking gave us candy out of the bowl. So the costumes were good. And just wish we'd just left like 22 minutes ago in the costumes that he fucking bought us, dude. He just came with you? Shut the door. Yeah, with my sister's fucking rock hard pigtail like this. You're covered in spray paint.

56:39I was like, God, he doesn't even know. That's crazy. It was interesting. So what happened then? So you're making TikToks. People are like, she's attractive. She's creative. There's something charming about her. We don't know what it is. She doesn't know what it is, but we love it, right? Yeah, I guess so. Okay. It was more the girls. The girls love me. So my whole demographic is like, I think it's 92 % female. Really? Yeah. And the newest 8 % was only since I got a boob job. Are you serious? Yeah. Guys hate me. Barstool hates me. Really? The whole demographic hates me. Yeah. I don't know why. We shouldn't have had you on then.

57:22I know. I know. That's why I'm like, why am I here? Well, Dave, I respect Dave's eye for telling him. He said this girl. No, he loves me. I mean. Okay. So Dave loves you. I brought a new demographic to Barstool. What demographic was it? All the girls. All the girls. People that had been molested, basically. Lesbian pedophiles than a black fishing sister with a Chrysler 300. That's who I brought. to buy Barstool. But no, I was the top creator at Barstool last month. So I mean, something has to be doing good. Nice. So we're right on trend then. Yeah, no, we're good. We're good. So I was like, maybe you're trying to get a TikTok audience.

58:02I don't know what you were doing with me here. Yeah, no, I don't know. I mean, I know what I'm doing. We wanted to meet you because we don't know you. and

58:19yeah we wanted to learn about you I think we're doing that. Okay. Yeah. Yeah, we just learned about Glenny Balls not long ago. And it was so much fun. It was honestly one of the funnest interviews I'd ever had. Really? Yeah. I mean, yeah, there's just something about the guy. And he came out to the show the other night out in Westbury. He had like four of his friends with him. Remind me, Zach, to send a picture, too, so we can put it in. And that was great. They were all going. They were driving, I think, Canada or something, like for some rare meat festival or something. Or something, you know.

58:49They were doing something. Somebody was opening up like a special olive shop or something somewhere. Yeah, the cheese guy is going to meet him there. Windsor, Ontario or something. Yeah, they're fucking driving along. When you meet somebody who's driving cross country for a fucking new condiment, it's fucking interesting. Yeah, that's a good episode. But there's something so charming about it. There's just something awesome about that guy. You know, he pulls girls hard, like really hot girls too. Really? Yeah, it's great. He pulls pork too, huh? That's just an old pulled pork joke. And I'm just joking, Glennie.

59:23I believe he does. Well, he's handsome, for one. And his mother loves him. There's something unique about a kid. He's a lovable guy, yeah. Very lovable. Lovable. Very fucking lovable. In fact, I don't even think... Yeah, I could see somebody being married to him and they didn't realize that it happened. It's like, oh, damn, I just loved him so much. Now we're married. Yeah. You know? Yeah, that's like the guy in passing. That's him. That's Glennie. Yeah, Glennie, yeah, there's just something real special about him. So anyway, what else were we saying? We're talking about something and then we kind of went on to that.

59:56We're talking about barstool. Let's do this. And how about if you had to, people do fuck, marry, kill all the time. But what about if you had Glenny? Okay. Right.

1:00:09Frank. Oh, we don't get along. Wait till the game. Wait till I announce all three. Glenny, Frank, and then Dave. Oh. Yeah. What the hell? I think they're, I love it. All right. Oh, my God. I'm going to kill, I'm going to kill Frank. God. I'm going to kill him. He ain't going to live that long. He's going to die. So we're going to kill him. Okay. We're not. This is you. You're the one doing it. Sorry, sorry, sorry. I'll probably marry Dave. Yeah, okay. smart you have to do a lot of Celtics games smart yeah and then uh oh I guess that leaves me with Glennie for sex that leaves me with Glennie for sex yeah it's not bad though no it's not bad what would you do it's a summer sausage thing you know yeah um would I do those three yeah

1:01:13uh Mary I don't know I don't think Dave and I would get along that well if we're married No? No. What would you butt heads about, you think? And I just think, I mean, I admire Dave. I look at Dave, honestly, as kind of like a Paul Revere type of figure. He's crazy. He's crazy, but he says what he wants to say, and he stands up for what he wants to say. If he makes mistakes, he makes mistakes. But he's brave in that sense. I really admire that about him. I'm team Dave. I love Dave. so um yeah but i don't think we could be mad i mean i don't want to be married to a man either so this game fucking sucks bro i mean yeah for me too yeah yeah but at least you got a man on the other end of it you know i guess that's true um maybe frank i don't know if frank what his like kind of habits are at the house i think he's tidy i don't know you think so you think he did a live stream from his apartment but it's when he first got it oh yeah he got a dishwasher yeah yeah but that's it is nice yeah i like having a good dishwasher let me think i would probably kill i don't want to have sex with david because i've seen some of his sex videos and some of it seems like i yeah too much it just seems a lot especially if i'm a man and he's a man you know what I'm saying?

1:02:40Like, if you do the body math, it's going to be a fucking, it's going to be, it's going to be a weird equation. So I don't want that. I don't think I want to be a part of that. Okay. So kill him? I'd have to, I guess I would have to kill him maybe. Okay. And then I'd probably marry Glenny. Yeah. And then I'd smash big Frank. Yeah. You'd rather, okay. I would just fuck that guy. So would you smash him? I think I'd have to, you know? Yeah. That's not bad. I don't think so. And I don't know him either. So it could be like, you know, you blindfold everybody, everybody, me and him. Yeah. But it seems like there's a lot of him.

1:03:19I think that's why I said that, but yeah, I think you blindfold everybody and then you just kind of hope for the best. Yeah. No, he's, yeah. He screams a lot. He's crazy. He seems kind of crazy. So yeah, I think I would just be in and out of there, man. Yeah, it's quit. Hit it and quit it. Yeah, and heavy on the quit it. Yeah, quit it. Keep them blindfolded. Get out of there. So, okay, so you quit working at the... So then did you quit college completely, and then how did you get over to New York? Yeah, I was still in school. The barstool gave me an internship. So I had an internship for like a week.

1:03:54In Ohio? Yeah. So you were like the barstool girl in Ohio? Yeah. It must have been insane. You were in college at the time? Yeah. Wow. Yeah, that was cool. People must have fucking went ape shit. Yeah, I hated it. It was so bad. I stopped going out. No way. That is when you go out. No, I hated it. I told you, I'm like so, I'm awkward. I hated it. Everyone just wanted to like take pictures and stuff. And I was, it was so awkward. Really? I hated it. Yeah. So I stayed home. And, but that's when I started my podcast. I was like, well, I have to do this if I want to do it. So I was just making a, I was making like five videos a day.

1:04:29And then I started my podcast. Okay. And then I moved to New York. And your podcast was what? Plan Brie. Plan Brie. You still have it? Yeah. Okay. I didn't know that. Yeah. And then, so then you got your own podcast going. It's on Barstool. It's on Barstool, yeah. Okay. And you moved to New York City. Yeah, I tried to do both. I tried to do school and Barstool, but I realized I was never going to get into PA school with my content. So I dropped out of school and then I moved to New York by myself. Wow. Yeah. And what did your mom say? She still doesn't get it. She doesn't? She doesn't know. She's older.

1:05:08She's like 65, so she doesn't understand what's going on. But once I started paying all my own bills, she was just like, this is good. You can do it. Okay. All good. And yeah, she still has no idea. She doesn't know what bar school is. She doesn't even know what a podcast is. Really? Yeah, she'll never hear any of this. Uh-uh. What does she do then? Is she in a facility? facility is she she got a no she's laid up she got a double knee replacement oh yeah dude you gotta fucking who talked her into that she's crazy she got a double knee replacement but she took a look around everyone else and she only she's brave she only took tylenol after it so she's been all laid up she goes to the um she goes to the y every day and swims oh i love the ones she's retired she's in there every day swimming at the y really every day oh that's cool that's what she does though but she doesn't know what i do and she's in suffolk county yeah she's in plymouth county plymouth they got a good y up there yeah handover y she loves it i love ymcas man you do you go oh we used to go all the time it was like the place we would fucking go boy it's where i learned everything yeah i used to get a day pass yeah yeah oh the poor moms would drop their kids off at the fucking ymca yeah you would walk between there and they would kick you out of there and you have to go to the library.

1:06:28I remember being in the library and being like, where can we swim? And they're like, this is a fucking library. I would sneak into the back with like the daycare, but it's like 11-year-old kids watching smaller kids. And they all have smocks on for some reason. So I just walk in and put a smock on. I was just there. And then I would sneak to the pool. And they never let you go off the diving board, though. Yeah, yeah. And they shouldn't. You know what I'm saying? Because you're going to fucking drown. Yeah, that's true. Yeah, especially if the person on the diving board looks like the same person who's about to jump off a building.

1:07:00It's really the same look. If you ever see somebody about to jump off a building, like, I don't know if I should be doing this. It's the same look as a kid that shouldn't be going off that board. He's terrified. Yeah, dude, the YMCA, man. I fell in love with a girl there one time because she had tits, right? Nobody had ever seen them. Ever. I mean, none of our friends. I remember when we came, we're like, damn, what's wrong with her, you know? I think she has cancer like on her chest, like beautiful cancer. You know, because she just had these, you know, she had them growths on her. We'd never seen it.

1:07:35And she ended up getting killed years later. Oh. I know. Wasn't cancer? I don't know what got her. That'd be crazy if it was, but. She got murdered or she. What if it was breast cancer that she died of? I hate to say that because it's very sad and it takes a lot of people, but I wouldn't be shocked that she had so much breast. How young was she with the breasts? I mean, I don't know. We didn't know what they were. Like, I remember. Were they like purple? Somebody thought she was having twins or something because you saw like two heads coming out of her body. Were there veins? We didn't see them that good.

1:08:08Damn. I mean, we drew so many pictures of them. And we fucking guessed what they were like, boy. You guessed. Yeah, like I remember we'd shake each other and be like, describe her fucking tits to me. Like, we really, really were excited, you know? We couldn't help it. We were just human males. When you're a human male, how old do you start getting excited about tits? Like when are you like, whoa? Well, I think there's two things. One, there's like a physiological part of it. Physiological? Is that a word? Physiological? Physiological. Your body, you can't help it. like you'll be like um your all your blood will run to the like all your blood will run to the front of your body if a woman's around like literally you'll feel the back of your body just kind of fucking like sag a little like you're just yeah go cold like you're so there's just you can't help that right and so and that's what happens with your wiener your wiener is just the it's like the oh it's a forerunner for it yeah it's like a it but you know on a turkey whenever gets warm enough in that thing pot it's just like that it's like this is that's like some of the blood's like hey we found a way it's just like hey this is as far as we can go you know oh yeah just yeah just an arrow that's it it's like yeah it's basically like over there yeah oh okay yeah so uh so that happens but then there's another there's like a visual thing that kind of happens i think um when somebody has breath and you start to see them you know and then you're real kind So there's that thing going on.

1:09:45I think there's two things, but I don't know what age it's at. Just whenever you hit puberty. But it can be before that if somebody gets you real visually intrigued. So you're almost intrigued from a curious standpoint. Because you know one day you're going to care. Right, or you just wonder what's going on here. Something's changing. I want to know. I'm curious what's happening. And then I was at summer camp and they had a guy. And he was dating one of the counselors. And like you said, it was through YMCA. So it was just like, yeah, they're just like the oldest kids get to fucking watch the other kids, right?

1:10:22And he would let us look down his girlfriend's shirt for a little while. No. Yeah. His girlfriend? Yeah, yeah. He like kind of got off on her or something at the park. So I remember, especially if it rained out and there wasn't anything for us to do, he'd let us get in line and look. Did you look? Yeah, I looked, dude. Dude, it was so awesome. I couldn't even see. That's how awesome it was. I was like, I would look and I was fucking. You were done. I was blinded by my own excitement for it. Like, fuck, dog. I'd be like, dude, I didn't see him. And he'd be like, you just fucking looked. I'm like, but I fucking didn't see, dude.

1:10:57You blinked. Damn, you were so excited. Oh, yeah, we were. Oh, God. We were so excited. Okay, so what happened then? So now you're in New York. You're living there. And who'd you choose to live with and how'd you find a place? uh well i moved here during covid so no one lived here okay it was the easiest time to move here it was scary though because no one was here but apartments were half the price so i moved in to the shittiest apartment it was disgusting there was like cockroaches there was holes in the wall it was so bad and i i called my best friend and i asked her to drop out of school and move to new York with me and she did now is that a best friend or is that somebody who is a product of the system like what are we looking at here um she yeah well she works at barstool now i got her a job you did yeah oh wait what's her name grace oh i think i've seen her maybe she's my um she's my co-host yeah yeah yeah yeah she's the redhead she's yeah yeah she's irish she's irish she's irish yeah yeah beautiful young lady she seems like uh you guys have a lot of good time together yeah so she's a she's a she's a down girl but it could have went really bad she was door dashing when she she moved here really so she could what do you mean knocking and running off or whatever yeah no no she was uh she was on foot delivering food oh really on foot on foot oh my god what on foot she would have to go i remember it was like super bowl sunday and she had to go from like the top of an end to like a fucking to fucking try back out on foot in her sorrel snow boots she did like she was on foot for like three hours but she only made one delivery because she had to go so far so far yeah and she still couldn't pay rent yeah no shit dude well she could have if she'd have been sponsored by north face dude how fucking far is that track that's gotta be it was a had to have been a three-hour track on foot and she would come home and she'd come home she'd be like purple it was so bad it was so bad and i'd come home like i'll get you a job one day what about you get there and they're like you forgot the sauce and then you just literally take a sword out and just take your own life right there it was close to that it was close to that yeah it was crazy but she's not door dashing anymore she i got her a job she deserves a job but i got her for her yeah i mean there should be like i think in the future so many people do door dash and stuff now you know i think there will be a competition if they're smart they'll turn into a competition where it's like how do you get this chalupa right through these different obstacles and get it to yes yeah or like some type of way to do it if they started to make like a cool of like a series of events out of it yeah like american ninja warrior yeah but something yeah like a like a course yeah through the park american ninja dory yeah daughter oh okay sorry no it's okay let's see a little big gay it's okay dory or dory or because of door dash you know yeah yes it wasn't that good it wasn't yeah Okay.

1:14:17Well, here's the thing about DoorDashing is. Do you ever DoorDash? No. I'll tell you what I did, though. I used to do pizza. I was in pizza sales, right? Okay.

1:14:34And the manager or the assistant manager on Sunday, he was a BAC, right? He's born again Christian. Oh, okay. And so we would do fake orders that came in. We'd be like, oh, we got a call in from like Ricky Gervais or something, right? In our town. It was like a small town, right? Like out on like Million Dollar Road, right? Like they had a place by us called Million Dollar Road.

1:15:03But it would be like middle of nowhere. And these were real people, real names? Celebrities, right? Okay. But he didn't know any celebrities because he was only through the church. Everything he saw was. So if you'd have been like Paul the Apostle down on Main Street, he'd have been like, oh, insane. Right. But if you were like Ricky Gervais, he had no idea. If you were like Sam Elliott, he had no idea. So he would drive off and go deliver the stuff. And we would deep fry everything in the place, like any type of meats or even pudding. If you put it in a deep fryer, it'll fry. So we'd have fried pudding, chunks, and be drinking just draft beer.

1:15:41Oh, nice. And he'd come back. We'd be so fucked up, right? We'd be just like. Off the oil. Oh, he'd come rolling back in. He'd be like, Ricky Gervais doesn't want his pie. And we were just ripped at that point. So he would just be yelling like obscenities and shit at him. And he'd get all pissed off at us. So I worked there. I had to work at, I was court ordered to work at the water treatment facility in our town. That was like a big thing. Okay. What'd you have to do? Just watch the water. Okay. Make sure it was clean. Get, you know, you would net it and stuff like that, get stuff out of it. Okay.

1:16:23Which is pretty crazy because we would miss a lot of stuff too.

1:16:28But what about yourself? I was, I worked at a fast food restaurant. I was, I was like the girl that yelled the numbers, but I was too like someone's number. You'd be like, number 45. But I was too nervous to yell them. Yeah, I was too nervous. I was so weird as a kid. I was like so insecure and scared, so I wouldn't yell it. I'd be like, number 45. Then I'd just like, I'd like find, I'd like look for people that were like looking, waiting for their order, and I'd just give it to them. Like, oh, they need it. Yeah. And then I was a nanny. I was a bottle girl. That was terrible. Really? That was terrible.

1:17:05Was it after you got your breasts or not? That was before. Really flat bottle girl. Flat bottle girl. Damn. And I refused. I was the only bottle girl. You don't have to wear those like leotards. Yeah. I refused. I just wore a dress. I just wore a dress. Really? Yeah. But I had like a big bombshell bra. So it looked like I had something going on. Right. But you were in a. Yeah. You were kind of like the. Who's. I'm trying to think of. That woman. Who sings that song. The dog days are over You know what I'm talking about? No idea Yeah, you were like the Florence and the Machine of the Bottle Girl Staff, does that make any sense, that reference, Zach?

1:17:48Okay, thanks She was kind of like She had a little bit more of a hippie vibe She was like the one hippie bottle girl Yeah, and I would always get the good tables, too Really? Yeah, I had Lil Jon I would get all the Celtics players It was fun, but I hated it the girls were mean yeah they were so mean i hated it so i quit and then um then i went to school i was a bartender um yeah that bottle girl it's a it's an interesting industry being caught up in that i think yeah it's like it's like real estate agents because everyone was like everyone's area was their like real estate and they were real they were like real protective over it yeah so if you like stepped over to the wrong side of like the dance floor, a girl would come over and she'd like, I got into a lot of tussles.

1:18:39Really? Yeah. Yeah. It was scary. It was in the, the management doesn't care. They're just like, give me all your money. And then you got to stay till six in the morning and you got to count all the money. It's a whole thing. And are people doing a lot of drugs and stuff? You think I was pretty innocent at the time. So I didn't think so, but probably. Yeah. Had to have been. That's the craziest. Yeah. Yeah. You get all drugged up and you got to count all your money and stuff and walk home. Yeah. Well, because I remember all the tables, they want you to take shots with them. Yeah. But I couldn't.

1:19:08So I was throwing them over my shoulder. And I got caught one day. And then the guy was super mad at me. He took all the tip money back. And I quit. Really? Mm-hmm. Wow. Yeah. And so now you have your podcast. Yes. You work on BFFs. Yes. Which I got to come on. You did. It was cool. It was cool. I like it on there. You did? Yeah, I would come back on. Dave hasn't invited me back on. I know. I actually heard you wanted to come back on. I didn't think you liked it. Really? Yeah, I was getting a vibe. It wasn't your vibe. No, I thought it was pretty fine. I thought that it was fine. You know, I got to meet that kid, Josh.

1:19:41I never met him. I feel like you were kind of cold. I remember telling you that, I think. Yeah. You know? I didn't mean to be. I assume you did, but that's just, you know. 45. Maybe you're just awkward, you know. That's what it is. Or maybe you're just really cold. One or the other. I know. I watched that clip and I'm like, oh, that was tough. Yeah, people are cold sometimes, you know? Yeah. Okay, so then, and you have a new show too that you guys are promoting, I just saw, right? Yeah, I just filmed a reality show. And what is that? Is that legit or is it just whatever? It's like... Oh, it must be realistic, dude.

1:20:16It's like, it's through Barstool. So Barstool does a bunch of reality shows. I've been on a few of them. I did like the most dangerous game show. They throw you in the woods. they lock you in like uh tubs of water oh wow that crazy shit but i didn't want to be on them anymore so i just i pitched i'll do one and i just um we put 10 influencers okay in a house and we just made them we made them go crazy and we made them turn on themselves turn on each other and the prize is 25 000 oh wow yeah so it's like it's not one of those real ones but so they're in it for a little bit of bread yeah and how long did they stay there for the weekend or something They said that for seven days.

1:20:58Okay. But we were filming from like 5 a.m. to like midnight. And they're all finished now? Yeah. It's all done? The finale comes out the 18th, so I don't know when this will be out. Got it. That was a crazy experience. I did it with Josh. With Josh Richards? Yeah. Do you like being, do you think, like, so what kind of stuff do you like doing? I mean, obviously you like where you are. Everything's going good. And maybe nothing needs to change. yeah sometimes there's always this pressure like what are you gonna do i know maybe i was even thinking about asking you that but what do you like to do well i just got into um i got into my first writer's room the other day actually and it was so embarrassing because they they had me in and josh richards he's doing like a sketch comedy show so i'm trying to get into more writing behind the scenes type of stuff because i don't really like being on camera and uh we're doing all this writing room the two first two hours were good and then they started asking me about like dating and like first dates and like random hookups.

1:21:58And I, I never done any of that stuff. So I just started lying. I just started lying. It was so awkward. Really? Yeah, it was so awkward. I just started making sure. It wasn't awkward for them because they thought I was telling the truth. But for me, I was just lying through my teeth and making up all these stories. And now I'm like, I got to follow the lies. Yeah, it was bad. Yeah, I guess if you, if you don't, if you just, yeah. But can't you just tell them it was a lie? What is it for? It was just for his sketch comedy show. Oh, I see. They needed research from women because it's only men on the show.

1:22:34So it's like field research. All the people that work on the show are men? Yeah. Okay. Yeah. So they brought me in to help, but I didn't have the answers type of thing. Wow. Yeah. But I don't know what I want to do in the future. Like you said, I feel like I'm kind of just chilling. Yeah. It's fun. Having a nice time. I'm having a nice time. Yeah. And what about, do you ever think about nursing again sometime down the future? PA-ing? I mean, it's a good backup plan. Yeah, I mean, like, you could do a million other things, you know, but like I have some friends that are comedians or entertainers and then once they get a break, like Joe Rogan says, one day he would like to go paint, you know, he always wanted to paint.

1:23:11He never got, I mean, everybody wants to damn paint, you know. Everybody wants to do arts and crafts. It's like, it was the funnest class at school. It's so fun. But we all, everybody got caught up doing the other classes, you know. No, I'd want to do, I'd want to have like a sanctuary, an animal sanctuary. Oh, God, dude. A big farm. What not? Why not? What fucking hashtag are you following, huh? What do you mean? Are you following gold diggers with animal sanctuaries? Are you on that? Yeah, something like that. Every gold, like there's so many chicks out there that's like, what do you want to do?

1:23:40And they're like, I want to have some free range dolphins in our yard. Like there's some bitches out there that are like, I want to help. People say raccoons are so violent. they've never treated them the way I have bitch if two raccoons fucking get near you and you're fucking Joe's juice they will beat the living shit out of you I want to have my own sanctuary I don't want to have anyone else's sanctuary okay and what kind of animals are we talking over there be honest like cows horses okay look hold on cows don't need a sanctuary dude yes they do whenever I ever pass a cow and they're fucking having a tough time oh no you save the cows that are going to be butchered nah nah son what do you want me to have you want me to have like you want me to have like exotics I want you to have an animal that needs some fucking help you know what I'm saying like a sloth maybe get him fucking hook him up with a motor skill person or something you know or like rub a little bit of gasoline in it at first something that's going to help him speed up a little but I think cows all they do they eat all day they stand there they pass gas They're having a great time.

1:24:49They're like stepdad. They're like a fucking fat stepdad, you know? I don't think, yeah, you can't have a rescue with cows in it, dude. Yes, you can. You can totally have a rescue with cows in it. Come on. They're getting slaughtered every day. Yeah, but they fucking, we need them, dog. Yeah, I mean, yeah, I know. I'm not even a vegetarian or anything. Oh, come on, dude. You can't be somebody. Imagine you break into somebody's property and you steal a cow in the middle of the night. Like, what the hell? Yeah. To save it. You know, there's not that movie where that cow gets like, that's not so I think I like your idea and I love your attitude.

1:25:28But I think part of it is just, well, the animal, I don't know. And I shouldn't be telling you it's a bad idea. It's a sweet idea. Yeah, no. So, so what, so a sloth, I guess, or maybe like, what animal needs it? Well, I tell you what animal needs to be freed or whatever is zebras. I mean they put the bars on them bitches they gotta fucking get those animals free dog damn that's true free zebras dude imagine walking around where everybody thinks you're in jail no matter where you are that's fucked yeah okay so I would do zebras okay I would do zebras see that kind of fits with you too I think like here you go there's a zebra she's rescuing it that's kind of cool I think but I would have to do like 10 I can't just do one That's fine.

1:26:15Yeah. I have to have a bunch of zebras. Really? So you want, and is that the only animal you want, or you think more animals? Well, I wanted cows, but. Oh, yeah. I'm sorry. So I guess, you know, I'm at a loss for that one. I said horses, maybe. I don't know, but they all seem like they don't need help. Well, horses, a lot of rich people are doing horses. I think there's a lot of. They treat them bad. They do? Yeah. Oh, yeah. They'd be all rich around them? Yeah. Whipping them and shit. Riding them. You're thinking of slaves. You're thinking of the wrong thing. You're reading the wrong books, man.

1:26:48But yeah, maybe I've seen some rich people's horses. There's a guy in Kentucky, and I want to have him on the podcast. He owns the horse with the best semen in it or whatever. And so there's three months out of the year where they book it five times a day, and there's just a line of cars, almost like to Field of Dreams or whatever, where they all come and park, get it, go and get pumped by this horse. and there's like a closed circuit TV where like if you're like, it's like$50 ,000 for something to have sex with this horse. Oh, I thought they were just pumping it off and bringing it. So they have sex with the horse?

1:27:23Yeah. Yeah. Oh, wow. Yeah, it's not like easy serve or whatever that thing is. I was like, what's going on? I thought they were pumping it off and then bringing the semen to wherever they needed to. No, it's not like an ice cream machine at a drive-thru. That's how it's painted in my head. okay so it's fifty thousand dollars a pump fifty thousand bucks and they go in there and they punt and they and then they do it they the animals they do it or whatever what's so good about this this guy he's won all the races he's won enough races okay it was like semen biscuit or something what's the guy's name uh secretary maybe secretariat so that's a movie oh this guy I fucked all his secretariats.

1:28:04I know that, dude. This guy is like the champion horse, right? He's just full of unlimited semen. Like if you even pet him, you get seeds, just leak and seed. And it's valuable. So there will literally be just three a day, and he's just all day. He's just sitting there. He's pumping it. God. I feel for him, too. So what's the owner of the horse? He's living lavish? Yeah, I think last year on the horse, they made like$40 million or something. What? Oh, you've got to get him on the pod. Yeah, the horse needs to come on, too. That's crazy. 40 million? Yeah. And he's just a lucky guy. He just had this horse.

1:28:38He just got lucky. Now, he's been in the system for a while, but he was able to, I think, get some horses that were other grandparents and stuff and get like a lineage. You think he's sneaky? Look that up, Zach. I think that that whole business is really sneaky from what I hear. Yeah. Like people are like sneaking around there. Horses are fucking in the middle of it. They're like, oh, let's meet these two horses up like at a, you know, behind a, I don't know, a Ben and Jerry. I don't know, not like a Benajur, but like someplace like a. Something like that. Oh, that's a sneaky business. Yeah, it's a sneaky business.

1:29:08Does the guy, does the guy that owns a horse, he's always wearing a suit? Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And he just lets the horse out like he's just letting it out to leak and then it runs behind the rest area. Yeah. And the other horse is back there.

1:29:22What were we talking about? Oh, my cows. Yeah, yeah. Your animal sanctuary. Yeah, that's just, that's just, that's a backup. But where could you do that in Southie? Could you do an animal sanctuary in Southie? Like, what would that be? I mean, I would have to get a walk. I mean, some Bruins fan is fucking walking by, just smoking a Doral, just looking in the fence like, oh, look at these motherfucking sloths, huh? Yeah, you could. I feel like it'd do well, honestly. I don't know. Those people never see that type of shit. They don't leave Southie. I don't know. They'd be like, oh, this sloth. This sloth.

1:29:59yeah they would just like keep comparing the sloth to like bad quarterbacks that they've had or bad pitchers in uh that they've had in boston yeah it'd be something like that it'd be good i feel like it'd be good for the community for the community yeah yeah i think it would they don't get to see much they don't leave you come back outside of your sloth this fuck is smoking yeah real slow um yeah i think that could be nice now i think a unique boston zoo would be really great. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Right in the city. Well, we got the Franklin zoo. They don't have much there. What happened?

1:30:35They don't have much. Really? Yeah, it's like the bottom of the barrel. We've got like two gorillas and then like hyenas. They have hyenas. But they're in like the same thing. They're like coexisting. It's sad. They don't even sell like they don't even have a concession stand or anything. Oh, damn. Really? No giraffes, nothing. like llamas. So it's like a petting zoo, but they market it as this like big zoo. But it's really just my zoo. It's healthy. Like that's what it is. It's nothing good. There's a, there's a soundtrack to this play in the sounds of like, of like big animals in the distance.

1:31:10Yeah. Yeah. It's more like, and then they just have like a, a big reptile section. Oh yeah. But it's just like, you just snakes, the garden snakes and shit. And it's always closed because Donna got bit by something. Yeah. That's cool. There's only two employees. There's something I love about Boston. And I got to go to the Wilbur there and perform there. And it was like the best place ever. Oh, it's the best. Boston people are the best, dude. Yeah, you like them? Well, I realize at your show, everyone at your shows, they look like you. You think so? There was a lot of people I was like, that looks like him.

1:31:40Even the women? Even the women. Well, I sat in front of it. It sucked. I sat in front of the only person in the whole entire place with a mohawk. The biggest fucking mohawk. It was so big and I couldn't see. I had to keep like turning to try to see you guys up on stage. But that was crazy. The Mohawk was crazy. I've never really seen one of those in real life. That was a woman. Oh, yeah. And then the rest of the guys, they kind of looked like you. It's hard to witness.

1:32:06Brad Kelly was the guy, by the way. Horse guy. Horse guy. Brad Kelly. Horse guy? He's the owner? Yeah. Brad Kelly was the horse guy. How much do they make off that horse? Does it say how much? On seed? Where does he live? Lexington, Kentucky? Franklin. Oh, wow. That's where you need to get. Yeah. You get out there with a, you start, if you start riding it, if you meet a good horse, man, you're in. Oh, wow. That's a lot of money. God, can you imagine all that money you could have? What would you do with that? With that kind of money? Yeah. Let me think. If I had as much money as, I don't know. I wouldn't tell anybody, I don't think.

1:32:42You can't. Having money is kind of embarrassing, I feel like. You think so? Do you think since you start doing well, you're embarrassed? Oh, I was always embarrassed. I was embarrassed when I had nothing as a kid And then I remember when I got a house Like I got a house in Nashville a few years ago And I was embarrassed It's a nice house right But it's nothing like Very extravagant Or You know it's a place you'd walk in like oh this is a nice house But it's not a place you'd walk in like oh this is like You know That's horse money Yeah that ain't horse money This is like that pony money that's at the fair But like the world's smallest pony yeah like tom thumb or something i saw him once out in a riverside he is small but um yeah i remember being embarrassed to even show my own home really yeah because it was something about there's just something about about it you should feel icky but it's the same icky i felt when i was a kid that i was embarrassed to show the apartment that we lived in like we had a toilet upstairs i was like falling like right off to the edge of the dinner table like this it was like this perfect brown circle on the ceiling like right near where the dinner table was dude and so if we had people over we would always like try to like lean like this way while we talked to them so their eyes wouldn't like look over at this huge like fucking piss brown circle that was coming in through the ceiling my bedroom my first bedroom growing up it was it was a closet but there was no window so like we couldn't consider it a bedroom so my mom she stapled curtains up on the wall to like make it you put a flashlight under to make it like what stuck the flashlight was stuck behind like my bed on the floor with these white curtains that you could see through you could see it was just a wall and it was i could i would never have friends where i had no friends because i was like you can't come here yeah yeah yeah if you come let's yeah and the guys are like hey i'm gonna sneak you out tonight you're like all right i'll sneak out through the window it's like damn i can't it's a brick wall like a sledgehammer oh that's so crazy dude that's wild yeah and i remember we had a bathroom there was a bathroom upstairs and a bathroom downstairs and the bathroom downstairs was right next to the dinner table so it was just like it was just the whole place was just kind of a nightmare you know it was funny though we were always making fun of each other and what else was it like over there they had a lot of stray animals in our area so you'd always if you went outside you're always dealing with animals you know in a bad way yeah it wasn't like a petting zoo it was like a threatening zoo like you just felt like threatened constantly when you walk outside it was like yeah like a couple of fucking cats that hadn't been fed would look at you like it was your fault like bitch i just got out here you know and you wouldn't want to like eat dinner and then walk out there because you think the animals could smell it on you you know so um but there would be like dobermans there'd be like just a couple of loose brothers of freaking like tripped out white dudes rolling you just didn't really know what was going on there was always somebody cutting their hair in the fucking street there was always like people burning like i lived in a neighborhood where everybody would just burn stuff in the ditch right we lived right outside of like the town limit where you couldn't burn stuff in your ditch right so it was a big thing like people were like at least we can burn shit in the ditch you know you couldn't we could okay but like four streets over they couldn't you know and like look at these city slickers you know fucking driving their trash into the over the fucking uh we were just lighting it up so i remember that that was kind of interesting we had a lot of people that couldn't read that would just break shit because they couldn't express themselves it's fair i'm trying to think of what else we had oh they'd have like writ like some veterinarian would always drive through our neighborhood and like they would since we're outside of the town limits as well they would throw a lot of like the animal carcasses and shit like out in our yard like the so we'd always be out there like doing like paleontology like playing games and shit like that like making like dinosaurs out of like the old animal parts and like burying them and then telling somebody else like i think it was a dinosaur and they would start digging and it would be like the shape of some weird animal you never even like it it was like a tail and then like one foot and then into another tail and you're like Like this animal doesn't make any sense.

1:37:04This animal just has one foot, no eyes. And two tails. Yeah, and two tails, yeah. So I think things like. That's fun. It was fun. Yeah, so like you were like, you were poor with stuff to do. Like I was just poor on like a city road. Really? Yeah, like we would smoke. We would drive scooters and we would find cigarette butts off the ground and just like smoke them because it was cool, but they were dirty and then we'd be sick for like three weeks. Yeah. And it was like, it was just not fun. I didn't have a park to go to or anything. Really? Yeah, no. So what did y 'all do? Did y 'all get a Nintendo at home or something?

1:37:37Yeah, yeah, yeah. I had a GameCube. Oh, that's good. I had a GameCube. Did you play that a lot? Yeah, Monkey Balls. Yeah, it was fun. But I didn't have anyone to play with. Really? So I was just playing it. But what age was that? But you didn't have any. What about your sisters, though? You guys played together? They were like so much older than me. Oh, yeah. And they were on drugs. Yeah. So no, they didn't. We didn't play. I was like basically an only child, I guess. with the older crazy ones that would pop in and out. And then we had my aunt and my uncle living in the basement. Nuh-uh. Were they cool?

1:38:07On the finish, but no. Really? One of my aunts kidnapped me when I was two. Oh. And I was that aunt that lived in the basement. And then she left and she went to Florida and she never came back. And my mom had to adopt her two daughters. No. Yeah. It was crazy. That is crazy. It was really crazy. So then they were around even though their mom had kidnapped you? Yeah, they stayed around. My mom adopted the two daughters. And then the mom had kidnapped me, but they found me the same day. They found me the same night. Yeah. Counts, but still. Yeah. She said she was just going to take me for a walk.

1:38:39Yeah. It was crazy. What about for Halloween and stuff? What would you guys do? For Halloween, we would drive down to the suburbs and go visit my aunt. Yeah. They had some money down there. Yeah. Boy. And that's why I was my witch, my big witch. And every year they'd be like, oh, again. Damn. And then I started doing hand-me-downs. I started taking hand-me-downs from my older cousin, Molly. but then when my dog my dad got his big mechanic job we moved down to the suburbs so i had like a split life oh so i just like pretended i was fitting in and stuff what company did he work with what who did he get a job with he worked for like the um it's called the mbta it's like the transit union of boston so it's like the train okay the buses and so he repaired all the buses and trains yeah so we had like he had like a salary right it was like oh we can move now because he wasn't a truck driver anymore, like on and off.

1:39:26Yeah. Yeah, it was cool. Did he do long haul trucking or no? Yeah, he would go. He would be gone for, I went on a couple of them with him, which was crazy. But he'd be gone for months at a time. Really? Yeah, it was cool. That's a long time. I remember sleeping in a big truck. Really? Yeah, I slept in a big truck. And I never knew the truck. They have like full beds in there. I was sleeping on a full bed and we would stop at the fairgrounds in New Jersey all the time on the way home. Dude, that had to be fun, huh? It was so fun. Those are my best memories. yeah yeah those were cool what do you remember any of the rides at the fairgrounds was it like that like just the different rides they had like the zipper and the Gravitron all of that the zipper yeah and the one where you stick to the wall yeah that shit was cool Gravitron yeah I was just talking about that last week yeah that was the one and the guy in the center was like playing rock and roll and there'd be that one crazy guy that would like start shimmying and do a flip stuck to the wall the whole time that insane guy I always wanted to be that guy yeah that was fun yeah that was fun mm-hmm what is your deal like is your deal at Barstool like Caleb's it's just kind of like a flat amount sort of thing is that okay to ask you yeah that's fine it's like Caleb's like a salary probably getting fucked but it's fine yeah but I think they do a good job of like but you enjoy it though right yeah I enjoy it so I don't even like it's probably the stupid in me but I have fun I like Barstool and with all these influencers they make their money off like brand deals so they don't know when they're getting their next checks and stuff right whereas i have a salary so it's i don't know it's nice it's really nice also it's not sometimes what's like dealing with brand stuff there's so many little things you have to it's like so many extra responsibilities that if you don't have to think about that it's really nice it's nice you can just stick to being yourself i know that uh yeah i don't have to censor anything which is cool yeah and it seems like they treat you guys good they do yeah yeah i love barstool Everyone shits on it, but I like it.

1:41:20Yeah, I don't know why everybody, I mean, I don't know a ton about it. I mean, I learned some about it from Dave, how he like went through the business and put it together and like some of the choices that they made. But it seems like a good time. It is. Yeah. People think it's very like misogynistic, but it's like run by women now. So. Is it the pan or women? Yeah. Well, no. But like the top performers at Barstool are all women. They are? Yeah. Who is it? You? oh you just won this month you said huh yeah and you have employee of the month i don't know i didn't even know about it until um i went to like i went to the acms last week and i was like why am i here why did you guys invite me and they were like because you're the top creator at barstool and i was like damn they didn't even tell me that wow but but it's not just me the chicks in the office like it's full of women so people think it's all run by men but it's not um and they have Megan making money.

1:42:14She works there. Yeah, I love her. She's cool. She's awesome. She's really funny. And her husband, I know her and her husband. Oh, he's crazy. Yeah. They're the craziest couple. They're awesome, though. Yeah, my stepdad is friends with his dad. Really? Yeah. Okay. They were friends growing up. They're still friends, but it's like, so it's kind of, yeah, that was all kind of crazy. What else was I going to ask you about? Do you have a favorite sports team that you like? Celtics oh wow so you're stoked about this then yeah this is a big time are you going to go do you think you'll get to go to any of the games no way no what why not no way I'm not going to the games I would love to but no way what do you mean no way no way like if you ask Dave he might take you to one no way yeah he might do you work there Dave me and Dave going to the game together what the fuck are we going to talk about who cares no he wouldn't take me to the game You don't think?

1:43:12Well, should I ask? I could ask him. I have BFFs after this. I'll maybe ask him. Yeah, I think you should ask him because you're from there. I am. I could understand if you weren't. But everyone at Marstall is. But that's their problem. That's true. They're not you. They're not employee of the month. Yeah. Okay. They're not employee of the month. Okay, I'll ask them. You got anything else, Zach?

1:43:36I just feel like we've had a nice chat. I think we had a nice chat. Do you think this went well? This? Yeah. Yeah. I think so. I think it's been interesting. I feel like I'll have a little bit more understanding of who you are and where you're from. And a little bit more semblance of your personality. So it's not just like when I see you, it's like I see you, but I'll still kind of have a maybe a slight somewhat, not understanding, but a little bit more clues. Okay. And what else? Watch Project Verified. Project Verified. That's my reality show. Project Verified is your reality show. Check it out.

1:44:09Check it out. And, um, what else can we think about? Anything else? We had a dude boss growing up, this kid. I'm not going to say his name because he's still alive, but he, um, he would say something and then he would say it again under his breath. Oh, one of those guys. Yeah. And we thought he was twins that had never separated. Right. So people are like, you fucking get your fucking brother out of you. People would fucking threaten to beat his brother or sister out of him. always under his breath did he get over it huh did he get over it yeah he'd get over it but it was crazy because then when people were like we're gonna beat the fuck yeah he'd be like help me and then you would hear it again oh so people were like he is in there and then it sounds like you're that that they're fucking with him like he's like being an asshole but yes it's just a problem he has yeah dude it was a fuck i feel so bad for that guy still but his mother was awesome she was a nurse.

1:45:06She was a beautiful bigger lady. Damn, she was fucking warm as could be. I love a big warm lady. Don't you? I do. What was your mother shaped like? She got a little bigger after the knees. Oh yeah, that'll slow you down, huh? Yeah. She's petite. She's like real small. That's too small for somebody. She's real small. Really? They should put her in that cage at the fair then. Yeah. Come see the smallest knee replacement. victim or whatever sorry not victim come see the most beautiful little knee replacement woman in the world um is she a pretty happy lady your mom yeah she's happy she's a happy lady she's uh yeah she's a happy lady what are some characteristics you guys that have that are similar i don't know if we have many i didn't really so she i was with my dad growing up and she was like, her, her, like, she shows me affection through getting me things or like making sure I'm good, but we're not like, I couldn't just call her and talk to her type of mom.

1:46:09Right. But I know she loves me type of thing, but I can't just be like, I don't call her and tell her what's going on. Right. Type of thing. But she's, she's a good lady. Yeah. Yeah. Interesting. Yeah. All right. Well, I don't know what else to say right now. You think we said enough of that? You think we've said enough? I think we've said enough. Two hours, is that good for you? Yeah, it's good for me. Thanks so much and I appreciate your time and congrats on your success and trying new things, trying to make a new show. And being in a place that's kind of like a man's place, I guess, but it's more women's over there too.

1:46:53Yeah, hell yeah. Yeah, thanks for sharing your entertainment with us. Yeah, thanks for having me. Now I'm just floating on the breeze And I feel I'm falling like these leaves I must be cornerstone Oh, but when I reach that ground I'll share this peace of mind I found I can feel it in my bones But it's gonna take a little bit