E468 Tucker Carlson

27:36I don't trust you anymore. Sorry. Well, I miss the days you get some fucking good pills too. I mean, there's part of that in this, you know? When a dude could give you a couple stack or twos, you know, and you'd hold up the wall over there in Hoboken for an hour, you know? I think those days are over. You got to go to fentanyl. I just don't want to do it. No, I don't think you should. Well, I'll overdose, man. I'm sober like 18 months. I would overdose easy. You're sober 18 months? One of the reasons I don't do cocaine anymore is because they fucking ruined it. Why? With the fentanyl. It used to be this baby laxative.

28:09Yeah, but I'd rather shit than die, you know? I agree with that completely. I mean, you know, I'd rather get off the toilet and be like, oh, that was hectic, than be like, you know, laying there just like, God, wish I could shit. Going blue, yeah. But I got to go to heaven. And that, by the way, is a guess. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. But that's the hope. So how's it been 18 months? it's been good, man. I love it. You know, how were the first six weeks? That's the toughest part. Oh, I know. I've been there. Oh, you have? Yeah. What did you have to get off of? Oh, you name it. Yeah. It's been 21 years, but yeah.

28:45But you still, you can drink though. I can drag a little blow. I can drink, but other than that, I'm totally sober. It's a modified separate. Okay. That's funny, but I'm not going to comment on it beyond that. That's fine. No, and no dig to Shepard. I'm a fan of Shepard. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But he's just a legend in a lot of circles from a lot of friends of mine from different colleges. How do you know all this? Dude, it's easy to just be alive and you just pay attention. Well, without commenting on that, I will say - But no, sobriety has been cool for me, man. But it was tough the first six weeks.

29:22Like, what'd you do? Yeah, I think what's tough is like having to change, having to quit some, you know? Yeah. Having to not have a beer if you need it, having to not like have something to give me a little bit of respite. Yes. That's right. From my own angst. Yes. That's a lot of it. Did you go off everything? Yeah. So I didn't have a problem with anything except for cocaine. So if I drink, I could have a drink. I'd be fine. I hated drinking. But I know if I have a drink, the only reason I'm going to have it is so I can go. I'll have four sips and then I'll go get some cocaine. And then I'll be fine.

29:54How did you deal with feeling terrible the next day? On the cocaine? Yeah. Oh, poorly, brother. begging people for Gatorade over text message. Yeah. It was horrible, dude. Yeah, and this was some of this. They didn't have that. It's a high-cost drug. Yeah. And not just on the front end, on the back end. Yeah, the next day was horrible. The things I'd have to apologize for. Yeah. What's the freakiest thing you did while on cocaine? Oh, dude, I'll tell you some. Well, the weirdest thing is what I would look for escorts on the internet, right? Whoa. Classic cocaine move there. Yeah, dude. Hunter Biden has plowed this furrow before.

30:29Oh, yeah, dude. others have been where you were. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Literally. Yeah, I think Hunter even was my plug on some of this. And so he, I would, but then they would come to my residence. I would be so scared and paranoid. I would take the money and hand it out the door because I didn't want to not pay for the, you know. The service. They drove over. Right. You know, so yeah, I would pay them and then I would just be grateful that they weren't there. So you wouldn't stiff the hooker, but then you wouldn't stiff the hooker. Yeah, well played, brother. I think, look, I just felt bad. You must have been their favorite account.

31:13Well, then sometimes, dude, I had to talk to a lady who speaks another language. That's crazy. Because then you're playing charades, you're fucking high on cocaine. You were ordering the human trafficking ones? I wouldn't say that, dude. These people were off the interstate. I would say that. But they were - Off the inner state. Yeah, they weren't like - What do they call them? Lot lizards? No, this was out of, this was, I mean, they weren't, I think these were decent ladies who were - Yeah, totally. Trying to make a dollar. I never, yeah, anyway, this didn't get in well, but - But yeah, that was kind of the toughest part because I was just looking for some kind of connection.

31:48Of course. And I just - That's a real thing what you just said. I get that. I didn't know how to get it. Because it's isolating. Drugs and alcohol are isolating. You're really about yourself when you're doing them. Part of you wants to reach out and connect with someone else. I think that's absolutely right. Yeah, I like cocaine because I needed to control how I felt immediately. That's one reason I didn't like alcohol because I was just such a control person that I needed to control how I felt immediately. So cocaine, I could do it immediately. The feeling would be there immediately. And so that's one reason that I liked it.

32:21but you never got into Xanax or alcohol or anything to help you come down. No, I wish I had. I didn't know you could do that. Oh yeah, you can do that. I mean, I don't think it's legal, but you can. So I was doing it. You're doing it wrong. I was just, you had the wrong kind of cocaine addiction. And most of the shit I was doing, I think it was Sherwin Williams. You know, this shit had, you know, I remember doing an eight ball of Matt finish, you know? So I'm like, this isn't legitimate, you know, some semi-gloss i'm like this is for fucking shutters this is outdoor with you know i've done some very questionable cocaine you know so uh what was it like for you getting to getting off of it i mean it was awful it was awful it was it was absolutely awful um but i'm so grateful that i did i'm i'm thankful my brother and i both did actually wow so it's in your family it's a janet Well, it's in my family.

33:17We're Swedish, yeah. Oh, y 'all are. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. The farther north you go on the globe, the higher percentage of people have drinking problems. I mean, that's, I think, pretty well-established fact. Look at Santa. Dude works one fucking day a year. He does. I mean, the Eskimos. No, I'm serious. And, you know. Oh, yeah, yeah. A lot of ancestors from Northern Europe. So, yeah, alcoholism is a big thing. And I needed to get off it. And I had all these children and a job on TV. and it's just not compatible with a productive, happy life at all. And I quit, and the first few months were shocking.

33:51I didn't realize. I didn't realize. Well, I had no help at all. Really? Yeah, I did it at home alone. Were you not willing to try and have help? Were you that kind of person? Well, I had a public job. I was an anchor on CNN, and so I just thought, I don't want to get into the whole, I'm going to rehab or whatever. I just didn't want to get involved with that. And it was fine. It worked great. and I've never gone back and I never would for anything. However, I didn't realize that, and I knew very little about it. This was kind of before I was using the internet. I just didn't know that much about addiction at all.

34:28And I quit and all of a sudden I had these withdrawal symptoms that were like shocking. My hands are shaking. I feel like I'm gonna freak out all the time. Super anxious, super, super anxious. I was sweating, heart palpitations. I was like, what is this? And I asked somebody, I didn't tell many people. I asked somebody, he's like, oh, you're withdrawing from alcohol. And if you start to hallucinate, that means you have the DTs, the delirium tremens, and you need to go to the hospital because you could die. I was like, what? I never got that thing, Kevin. But anyway, yeah, it was awful. But then, you know, within like, I don't know, six months, I felt great.

35:04I started smoking two cigarettes at once. I mean, my nicotine problem got a little more intense. but, uh, but I felt wonderful and I felt great ever since. Wow. And did you ever go to meetings? Did you ever get into 12 step or no? Not one time, but I love it. I have, I was just at dinner last night with Bobby Kennedy, who's been in 12 step program, Russell Brand, same thing, another friend of mine. I almost went to a meeting at Bobby's house on Tuesday. Okay. What a, what a wonderful man he is. Bobby's a neat guy, isn't he? He is. He's a very deep person and he's learned the right things. And people like that make me very pro 12 step.

35:37because they're just like, I'm not in control of my life, and they're not because nobody is. Everyone lies about it. Oh, I've got it under control. No, you don't. You have no freaking idea what you're doing. You can't extend your life by a single day. You're lying to yourself and those around you. Just admit you have no clue. You're doing the best you can. You're a totally screwed up kind of embarrassing person. You know what I mean? Okay. And be liberated. And so I strongly believe in that because it's true. It is the truth. I know, and the rest of it is such a fucking, such a sled we pull. And it's fake.

36:10And it is. It's ridiculous. As I always say to my kids, everybody knows who you really are. Everybody already knows what your bad qualities are and they love you anyway. So don't even try and hide them. I mean, I'm sure you know people who are like alcoholic or bad temper or secretly gay or whatever. Yeah. They're like, oh, no one knows. No one knows. It's like everybody knows. Are you kidding? And again, they love you anyway. So you don't need to hide it. Just be who you are. And when you are, I mean, you are so liberated. It's this massive weight coming off you. It's like, yeah, kind of fucked up, but, you know, more than some, less than others, but trying and people are like, that's great.

36:52Yeah. People are way less judgy than you think they are. Right. And there's some inverse of it, you know, where it's like we think someone's so, but then if we look at the way we look at people, we might have some jokes about it, stuff, but most of the time you have empathy. Exactly. At dinner, two nights ago, I'm sitting next to this woman and she said something about, it's a long story, but basically it was about a woman gaining weight. And I said to her, you know, I've never been in a group of just men on a hunting trip or fit, you know, where it's just men. Yeah. Where someone's like, ah, she had a fat ass.

37:26It's like men have the widest strike zone imaginable. Men like women, heterosexual men like women. They don't judge their appearance very harshly at all. They kind of tend to like all sorts of women. That's true. And if you knew how nonjudgmental men were about women's appearances, you would relax. But of course, you don't care what men think about your appearance. You only care what other women think about your appearance and they're very judgy. But it's the same principle. It's like we are less judged than we think we are. You know? Yeah. It's funny, but it's not the nature of us to think that we are.

37:59Did you tell people when you quit using cocaine? Yeah, I did, I think. Let me think. Yeah. Uh, yeah, I did. I told him, well, I got into meetings. I didn't, it was been in my family, you know, my family, a lot of my family, uh, it's in my family. So the cocaine thing, the drug, just alcohol, childhood, uh, issues. Really. A lot of it is more, a lot of my stuff comes from really intimacy disorders. Yeah. Like emote, like, uh, connectivity disorders. Um, you know, so, but then whenever anything triggers one of those connectivity disorders, uh, then my, a lot of times it would lead me to doing drugs.

38:44So, um, yeah, I, I, I, I'm, I just love it though. What I love about it is now I get to see, man, I saw a dude yesterday who just got, uh, a six month chip, you know, and the guy, man to see somebody whose life has changed you get to witness unbelievable it's unbelievable miracles i totally agree i had a friend call me this morning right and we've been friends for years and we kind of both know that we have some of the same problems and uh it was like the first time he like opened up to man and we're both sitting there just kind of crying on the phone it was just because when he opened up it just made me kind of it just made me feel like i was like i don't know i just understood him and it was like i don't know it was just so important Well, that's what intimacy is.

39:31I've always thought that we misread intimacy. We think it's when someone tells the truth about other people. It's very easy to tell the truth about other people. It's only when someone tells the truth about himself. It's only when you admit who you really are to someone else that you have intimacy. That's the measure of intimacy. If you're willing to tell someone who you really are, you are intimate with that person and vice versa. And that's totally the key. So if you want to know how many truly close relationships do I have, that's how you know how many people am i willing to admit what a schmuck i actually am too that's the number and what i love about 12 step i've never actually been to 12 step i've only heard about it actually i went i was at russell brand's house and he had a meeting yeah oh that's cool hilarious people was it i didn't stay for it i had to leave but they were come on one of the guys was smoking which i love and um just old school and and they were anyway but but i love the 12 step thing because you just like it as with christianity which i also like you admit right away that you are powerless yeah exactly you're not in control your life's unmanageable that's a nice word that they use a lot because it's like sometimes people are like man i'm not powerless but i'll be like you know things are unmanageable for me the way that they phrased everything it was just really articulate but anyway man well congrats on that yeah i think it's interesting and it gives me a better scope to handle my own life, you know?

40:55And it definitely gives me more opportunity to look at other people when I'm able to. Do you find yourself less judgmental? And what about all the guys you used to do cocaine with? Do you still talk to them? I did it by myself. Good. That's a fun way to do it. Fuck yeah. Shopping outlines at home. I'd change outfits and come back in and be a different guy. Yeah. I'm like, hey, don't do any. This is for me. You know? Just yelling at the other me. You're literally doing it alone. Oh, yeah, brother. I would do it alone, and I'd go hide it somewhere. I'd be like, I'm going to bed. I'm not doing any more.

41:33And then I would fucking get up and go find it. You know? And I would do more. It does affect your sleep patterns. Yeah, bro. I've heard that. Most of my sleep patterns was me praying, dude, that somebody would fucking pour Gatorade down my chimney. I was just wanting Gatorade. Why Gatorade? Just because it has electrolytes in it. I would be so dehydrated. So you're not much of a planner? No, no, no. You didn't go to Costco ahead of time, just get a pallet of it for home? No. No, bro. Did you have some pretty crazy nights or no? I had a few. Yeah. Hockey. Yeah. Hockey going crazy. The good news is that, I mean, it was a different, I'm 54, so.

42:17Right, so it was a different time. In the world that I started, where I started working in 91, everyone went to lunch every day. And I was a writer at a magazine and everyone went to lunch for an hour and a half every day, period. I mean, it was a different economy. It was, this was before the corporations took over everything and implanted chips on your phone to listen to your conversation, track your whereabouts. And before we became East Germany, they didn't really know where you were. And it was just a civilized place and you could just have lunch. And if you drank, it was totally within bounds to have a couple of drinks at lunch, you know, and smoke at lunch.

42:48And then that could keep going. I'm not saying it was great for productivity, but it was a better country. That's just a fact. It was, yeah, it was some fun. And so I would just say the great blessing in my life is it definitely erased my memory of a number of years. So I don't have a lot of guilt, simply because I don't really remember what I was like, but I don't think very appealing. Yeah. Not a great drunk. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. And when you drink, like, even if you're not setting out to say, use cocaine. you can wind up doing that yeah yeah oh yeah if somebody's got some cocaine you're gonna staying around them until they don't have it anymore until you have it i've heard that yeah that's true oh yeah that's me right there i did one time i was doing some cocaine at the house and people like i was like a big vest guy for about 11 months and uh vest with nothing underneath yeah just fucking that's kind of like the chippendales thing some shades yeah just just chilling in my apartment.

43:48Did you ever dance? Huh? No, I wouldn't dance. I'd make a smoothie, but, um, which is kind of like dancing, but just, but literally nothing underneath it. Just the vest. Yeah, no, no, just the vest. Yeah. Cause I was, this was in California too. The way it was, you know, weather permitting. Yeah, it's totally normal. People. I mean, I remember I grew up in California and I'd often wear a vest, a silk vest kind of against my nipples. I liked it. Dude, remember when silk came out and it was like, remember silk shirts? Oh yeah. They were so bad. I'm not going to wear, Never really? Yeah, I never wore a silk shirt in my whole life.

44:22You're a lion. No, I swear. Yeah. Never. I never fell for that. Good for you, actually. I fell for it. I never bought anything from Fila. Oh, yeah. And I never did. I never had anything that was velour. I mean, their whole epochs in fashion history, that is missed. I just totally ignored it. I've been wearing the same freaking clothes since 1984. And I mean it. Wow. I believe that, dude. If you just stay exactly the same, like someday this will be super cool. For a moment, and then we'll move on to something else. We'll go back to vests. When I was in school, it was good, man. That was a style.

44:52Yeah, you seem like you were conceived at like a Johnson and Murphy and something just fucking rolled right out of you. I don't know what that is, but I will take that as a compliment. Yeah, it's a compliment, man. My best friend Kevin likes that store. What's Kevin do? He does, I don't know. He's looking for a place right now, but his wife, he got married. But that's Johnson and Murphy. They're at the airport. He's a producer. I buy almost no clothes at the airport. But I'm not against it. So let's get into something important then, right? Did you have... I'm trying to think of where to take this thing.

45:28You see trauma? No. Trouble? Trouble hooks? Trouble, trauma, trump. Those are the fucking buzzwords. Buzzwords, yep. You make me nervous, I'm going to grab another Zinn. Do you mind? I almost want to do one, but I just don't know how I'll do with it. Why don't we wait until we're about to close because things may happen to you that you're not ready for. Okay. It gets wild, huh? It gets wild in a subtle way. It kind of grows on you. It's not like doing cocaine. Okay. It's not like firing up the pipe. Yeah. You know what I mean? Blast off or anything like that. It's a much more subtle, organic. You just all of a sudden you feel good.

46:06Yeah. Then you feel the power rising from your central nervous system and then sort of going outward through all the nerve endings down to the tips of your fingers. And then up here, it just starts crackling the synapses. Just make connections that you hadn't before. I know I'm making it sound like ayahuasca. It's a lot more subtle than that. Tuck. If you did like a tucker, a lip tucker. Yeah. I would buy that. If that was your brand of nicotine pouches. I'd like to do that because I believe in it. Tuck. Tuck-a-tuck. Yeah, tuck-a-tuck. And you could have a Native American attached to it. I love that.

46:36I'd definitely get picketed, but I'd do it anyway. Yeah, but some of them would love it. Native Americans love nicotine, dude. They certainly do. God, they love it. And I, unlike most people, I actually know some. Do you? Yes, I do. because I live near a population of Native Americans. In Maine? In Maine. And employ two and have for years, and they're really wonderful people. Spent a lot of time with them. And the two that I know very well both love tobacco, and they have every right to. Yeah, look, I think it let them love it, you know, at least leave them with tobacco. 100%. Well, they actually gave us tobacco.

47:12They did? 100%. Wow. yeah it was i mean there are a million native americans one of those terms it's like i'm not sure what passamaquoddy's have to do with hopis like it's pretty you know there was a lot of beef there was a lot of beef between native different indian tribes yeah oh yeah yeah some of them were very warlike i think is the term we use but um no they used a lot of tribes used it in in uh religious rituals and they would they would they would use it rectally oh really yeah tobacco suppositories yeah there's a ramrod get it up there oh dang huh yeah for real look it up boof and freaking that's insane what i i can't did indian yeah let's see tobacco smoke enema let's see oh there you go oh yeah look at that okay so that said it was used by okay imported from the new world.

48:04Okay. See? An insufflation of tobacco smoke into the rectum by enema was a medical treatment employed by the European physicians. Right. But also it says tobacco smoke was used by Western metal as a tool against cold and drowsiness. And drowsiness, bitch, if I'm drowsy and you're blowing smoke in my ass, I got a wrong PPO. You definitely do. And by the way, it's not even covered now. Yeah. That's crazy. No, no. That and leeches are completely ignored by the medical establishment. But yeah, it was common. The procedure was used to treat gut pain and attempts were often made. I'm not making this up.

48:43You're fact-checking me in real time. No, I love this, but applying it by enema was a technique appropriated from the North American indigenous people. Yes, that's right. Wow. See? How great is that? That's amazing. They even thought it up. I think if you're chilling around that long, you got somebody's going to blow smoke in somebody's ass. You think so? Yeah. Yeah, dude, you get people around. So like how many thousands of years does it take in the evolutionary process for someone to say, okay, we've reached this point in civilization where somebody's got to blow smoke up someone else's ass?

49:17Is that before or after the wheel? Because they never figured out the wheel. I think it's four years somebody's blowing smoke up. Really? It's quick. It's quick, yeah. I mean, I don't know. It'd be interesting to see how the first things happen like that. How were the pyramids built? I don't know. People talk about it a lot. People don't know. We don't know. How is that? And I'm not, by the way, suggesting any theory. Yeah, no. Well, look, I think - But how do we not know that? And why doesn't that make all of us humble? Like if we don't know how they built the pyramids, three or 4 ,000, or actually we don't know when the pyramids were built, to be totally honest.

49:50Yeah. If we don't know that, then we don't know shit. Yeah. Right? Oh, yeah. Someone should just say that. Yeah. Why don't we just say we don't know shit? Yes. Yeah. All wisdom begins with acknowledging what you don't know. And anyone who tells you, I know the answer, is about to lead you into, say, war with Iran or something equally crazy. Take the vax, you know what I mean? Like, that's a lie. Yeah. So never trust anybody who claims to have it all figured out because he's lying to you. Well, do you think that one of the political parties thinks that they have it all figured out more than the other?

50:25I think they both do. I mean, I think politicians, by their nature, are unwilling. by the way every once in a while you get somebody who shows up and starts to tell a portion of the truth and everyone loves him and then he's always invariably accused of someone at that point they gotta take him out yeah now like anonymous charges he to be in 1985 i can't tell you my name but it happened they just did this to russell brand yeah there's always somebody yeah they'll come out with anybody for yeah but or nobody in his case i don't think that i don't think they put a name to any of the four people who were accusing him of sexual assault i'm not shocked well now there's bot they can even i mean there's bots writing articles now i read an article the other day about my parents i'd never heard of either of the two people in the article are you sure yeah it was a bot article it was a body have you done 23 and me yeah you're positive okay i'm pretty i mean yeah you're right because you don't know dude yeah yeah that's a good point yeah yeah it's a good point yeah maybe i'm angry at the wrong woman exactly you know that's a good You're telling your shrink about the wrong mom.

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55:09I'm just trying to think. No, it's a fair question. I mean, how do you make sense of the world if you don't believe what people are telling you about the world? How can you make rational decisions if you can't be certain that the input is accurate? I can't really answer that. I know what I do, which is I don't read any of the New York Times or the Washington Post. I don't want that in my head. You know, the Washington Post or NBC News. Are they liars? I know they're liars. I've written for all three of those. I know that they lie, so I don't get anywhere near it. When you say they lied, does that mean like you write an article and you give it to your publisher, your producer, and then they say no and they change it?

55:50Or what do you? No, it means they don't assign stories on things they want to ignore. I see. And where do they get those orders from? It's all by instinct. You know, so their job is to protect the people who are in charge. You know, I mean, it's to protect the people who have power currently. The point of journalism is to challenge people who have power on behalf of the rest of the country. Right. And they've inverted the formula. And so if you work for the Washington Post, the idea is just protect Jeff Bezos and his friends at all costs. And that's what they do. So, but I'll tell you a way that I think is a good start to figuring out what's true is watch what they become hysterical about.

56:28You'll see somebody occasionally say something and people just land on him. Shut up, shut up. Let's put him in jail. Whatever that guy is saying is true. or it points in the direction of the truth. When someone says something that's like legit and say, no one's mad at the schizophrenic on the bus. You know, who's talking about whatever, the earth is flat or lizard people, which by the way, may be true. I don't even know. Yeah, fucking playing duck, duck, goose on a, yeah. Totally, nobody cares because he's not a threat to anyone because he's insane. Insane people are not a threat to the existing order because they're crazy.

57:03They're self-discrediting. But when they become hysterical about somebody and they're like, he's a conspiracy theorist without even refuting what he told you, then you know he's onto something. I mean, a hurt dog barks, right? When you have an infection, someone touches near the infection and it hurts. What does that tell you? You have an infection. Yeah. Oh, I see what you're saying. Well, do you think that's one of the reasons why Bobby Kennedy was looked at as so crazy? 100%. Yeah. And what's so funny, as I said, I saw him very recently the other night and I said to him and I saw him, I sort of follow it.

57:36I'm just interested in the reaction to Bobby Kennedy. And remember they attacked him as a crazed conspiracy nut because of the vaccines. And he said there may be a connection between the vaccines and autism. They're like, shut up! And they literally canceled his contract with the New York Times. He had a contract to write for them. They canceled it. Wow. And they just basically drummed him out of polite society. They don't talk too much about that anymore. Right. But the vaccine stuff. Because I think there is this recognition, and by the way, I'm not an expert, but that actually a lot of people were hurt.

58:05A lot of people were hurt. not just with the most recent round of mandatory vax but in earlier rounds now you could argue it was worth it you have a flu vaccine it academically supposedly prevents the flu so maybe we get it and some people get hurt but they were telling us for years nobody gets hurt well that's just a lie yeah people get hurt all the time they get hurt all the time yeah i mean a lot of vaccines it's like even the polio vaccine i i recite this a lot but they they tested the polio vaccine in our hometown where i'm from they had a primate testing facility there and um are you serious yeah and And that's where they tested the polio vaccine.

58:38You grew up in a town with a primate testing facility? Yeah. What town? Tulane National Primate Research Center. That's got to be the most depressing place in the world. Is it in New Orleans? It's his uptown? It's outside of New Orleans. No, no, no, no. This is outside of New Orleans. Yeah, they don't allow that in Autobahn Park, do they? No, no. But in our town, this is where they made it at. But that vaccine gave cervical cancer to tons of women. And they knew it when they put it out, but they'd already ordered it. they're like well fuck it we already paid for it right so exactly but so that i think that so it's it's bad to lie right and it's especially bad to lie at scale like if i lie to you about something and you know yeah but if i'm lying to 350 million people that's a that's a crime and they've done it and the problem is at this point it's like i mean i i would go to a surgeon you know because that's pretty straightforward operation i've got a knife i'm going to take this thing out or sew this up or whatever but i don't think i would go to a doctor for well we're gonna try this drug it's like maybe i would i mean i i don't know yeah i haven't had to make that choice thankfully but i would be hesitant because i don't trust them because they lied they got caught lying and they never admitted it that's that that's part of it there's never any resolution there's never any affirmation to your questioning and even if you were right there's never any about face acknowledgement But it can't get better.

1:00:01If you get in a fight with your girl, okay, and one of you behaves horribly, one of you's on, say, cocaine and says something outrageous, and you want to continue the relationship, there has to come a point where you're like, you know, I really was an asshole and I'm sorry, and I love you and I'm sorry I did that. Right. And only when you do that can it get better. It cannot be healed before you do that. It doesn't work. And that's true with public trust as well. And that's where we've gotten. It's gotten to the point. But I don't understand why they can't admit it. Like, I've been wrong about a ton of things.

1:00:27And I feel so much better when I admit it and stop pretending that I'm omniscient. I don't know everything and that's okay. Why can't they do that? Why can't Fauci just be like, wow, you know, I told you this in good faith, I was wrong and I'm sorry. He would do more for people's trust in science if he did that. He's totally incapable of that because he's a freaking sociopath, dangerous human being. He's a shitty pitcher too, you see that? Quite a shitty pitcher. And I say that as a shitty pitcher, but even I, he's got little dwarf arms, but still. Sorry. No, it's okay, man. Look at this. Let's show this shit, bro.

1:01:01God, get fucked. That dude is out of his mind, bro. He's got a mask on outside. Dude, that guy's got fucking - But it's so prima facie retarded. It's like there's a dwarf on the field with a mask on outside throwing it at the Bat Boy. Like, this is not a real country. If that guy's running it, this is a joke. First of all, the Bat Boy's 11, so he's flirting with a child. So let's call that he's flirting with a child. Let's call it what it is. Yeah, you're a freak. Now half of America needs a Tommy John surgery in their heart. Because of this dude, myocarditis right there. And there I am with a fucking slider, boy.

1:01:37Well, you don't even dick around, do you? Is that you? I've done some things, but no, not on this. Where is that? That was St. Louis. But actually, I got to throw one out for the Diamondbacks. That's why I'm wearing this jersey. How nervous were you? I was pretty nervous, I guess. It suddenly makes you feel like how old you are. You're like, fuck, I'm getting old. how old were you i'm 40 oh i was 41 and i'm 43 but i was like oh shit 43 is pretty old yeah it feels old sometimes actually does it feel old no it just feels old when you're running upstairs yeah yeah i know what i'm talking about i'm fit i'm 54 yeah i can't believe that i always run upstairs i always run upstairs just because yeah yeah yeah you're like i'll show them 100 yeah I've always been like that.

1:02:24And I'm with my wife who's very fit, like next level fit. Crazy. And she doesn't even, she'll just be prattling on, running upstairs, doesn't even. She does, huh? She's whimsical? I don't know if she's whimsical. She's just got like crazy cardio. Oh, God. Because she never stopped doing it. You know, like when you're a kid, they make you do physical fitness. And I took about 40 years off for cigarettes and stuff. And she didn't. So, yeah, it pays off, it turns out. When was your first cigarette? Do you remember it? Yeah, I remember it really well. it was delicious and my father smoked and was very he smoked unfiltered cigarettes called pell-mells he called them pell-mells oh yeah paul malls but they were extra long flavored with licorice i think made by the american tobacco company great cigarette in a red pack and we had many so that's i don't even know if there's a picture of the he smoked right there right there one down one down that right there that's the cigarette of my childhood he picked him up in the Marine Corps when he was 17, I guess they came in as K-ration and that was the cigarette of my childhood.

1:03:27There was always one smoldering in an ashtray in our kitchen and everywhere else. Anyway, but I was like when I was little, I was against it and my father really loved cigarettes and he wasn't embarrassed of it. It wasn't like, I smoke, but I feel bad about it. He was like, no. And I smoke unfiltered because you feel stripping when you're done. There's no filter. you smoke them backwards so the enemy doesn't know it's an american cigarette you burn the logo off the off the paper he yeah he really likes cigarettes and he felt sorry for people who didn't smoke so i was like maybe 13 i was in eighth grade when i started and it was it was totally where were you were you out with the boys or you was at the house and i was at school i was at school smoked one at school oh yeah it was allowed actually it was a pretty freaky With a teacher.

1:04:17I know. It sounds like it was in the 1800s. Sounds romantic, I think. It was romantic. It was great. Just a sneak. It sounds like espionage. No, no, no. It was totally open. You could smoke at school. I could smoke at school through senior year of high school. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. You could smoke as a child at school. Oh, yeah. I had parental permission, yeah. Really? I shouldn't be saying this. You know what's so funny? People would be like, yeah, I did ayahuasca, DMT, and everyone's like, it's so cool. It's like, yeah, I smoked a cigarette. What? You're a criminal. Um, but you know, I mean, I, I don't, I wouldn't, I wouldn't say smoking is a great long-term play.

1:04:52Yeah. I don't think that it is where I quit when I was 45. Cause I felt like I probably should. Yeah. It'll probably get me anyway, but I did enjoy it. I really did. I never had a bad one. You know? Yeah. There are no bad cigarettes. You're not like, Oh, this is disgusting. I never felt that way at all. Wow. I've had bad fig newtons. Like you can screw up almost any consumer product but a cigarette is remarkably consistent and it gives you what it promises you the payoff is always there that's a good point yeah the payoff is always there you know especially that first fucking drag off in the morning in the morning you know what i loved was they had a man in our area and um uh it was actually my grandmother was uh married to a man and he would light his cigarette and he would let us inhale the lit smoke up our nose when we were really young louisiana's the best isn't it god it was fucking good i think it's got the highest smoking rate of any state you know what louisiana does have it has the most people that are born there that die there that never leave there i believe that it's a cool place that's saying it's not like every other place actually no dude it is um yeah i always say like new orleans it's a good place to get oysters and murdered.

1:06:06Yeah, you get murdered and oysters. That's totally right. The thing about Louisiana, it never gets credit for, everyone talks about diversity in the melting pot. Like Louisiana actually was that long before most places. Yeah. It was, you had a bunch of different cultures there and they kind of got along, you know, sort of anyway. You still got a good mix down there. Yeah. We had a area bus called Chifuncta. That was the river and it was named after the Chifuncta Indians. Chifuncta? Yep. Is that like the Fagawi tribe? I'm not sure. That's not a real, that cannot be a real name. That's a real name, T-C-H-E-F.

1:06:39Chafuncta? Yep. Yeah, Chafuncta. It does sound like a joke, right? Chafuncta River right there in Louisiana. Yeah. It sounds like a play on words. Yeah, it does. Well, here's how they got the name. A long time ago, a Native American threw a big rock into the river, and that's the sound when it made, when it went in. Chafuncta. Oh, that's so cool. Is that true? Yeah, true story. It's pretty fascinating. but that right there is a perfect example Louisiana to me is that it's a place for great storytelling it's a great place for kind of a family yep you know so that's one story I like to tell people have dinners with their families there people have 90 minute lunch breaks people wake up get to breakfast and then do two or three things before they go to lunch I love that yeah it was part it was just that's how life was it was it wasn't all about efficiency no it wasn't so if your life is all about efficiency and every moment is being monitored and counts towards something then you're not really human you're a machine at that point aren't you i mean you're or a cog in a larger machine and that's what i think a lot of people feel like these days well and for good reason there's some chick on the internet it's a 22 year old experiencing life in the corporate world for the first time and she does this video like this is terrible i don't make any money and they treat me like shit and treat me like you know i'm not worth anything i'm not human and everyone's like shut up and work honey yeah and i watch this and i'm like no no i hope you win i hope you win i hope you oh the seeds of revolution are sprouting in my heart i just so hate that culture oh yeah that treats people like they're not people like for what yeah well i mean i think for some people in my own sense learning to be a boss and leader has been tough just because I never, you know, I just started out wanting to be a comedian.

1:08:30I wanted to sleep in. Of course. And masturbate and go. A lot, right? Be chatty. No, I didn't get crazy with it. Okay. I didn't like, yeah, I was kind of. Not compulsive or anything. No. No, I was an organized. Okay. Yeah, just. Good. Okay, that's fair. Yeah, one-off kind of guy. Yeah. Kind of like when they play the trumpet in the morning. You never got greedy, though. You never went back. Never went back greedy. Yeah, I was like, that's it. Yeah. But so I think learning to do that personally has been a little. it's been a journey for me but yeah i think with with with companies it's like how do we get away from that and is it just sometimes i think america was just this christian experiment yes that got compromised and has turned out poorly you think yes i think you're onto something and i hate to say that because a part of me doesn't really want to admit it well it's obviously true it's obviously true i mean you can't have a democracy unless it's a voluntary system people have to show a lot of restraint they have to be all in there has to be some sense of the common good you can't just be like how much can i grab it's like halloween it doesn't work if all the kids just empty the basket on the front steps you know in the first wave of trick-or-treaters no it's true though no you're right and and a democracy is very much the same way because you can take power and then just like steal everybody's money legally and so you really have to have some boundaries that you impose on yourself.

1:09:50And if, and that has to come from within, you have to have the sense that someone more powerful, like I hate to use the word, but God is watching. And if you don't have that, then it just descends into greed and selfishness, which is where we are now. Have we let, cause it's the, do you think America is still a Christian nation? No, no. What is it? Um, it's an LLC, as you said. So brilliantly, actually, again, we've entered privatized communism. It feels like to me. It gets exactly right. I mean, I don't, no one's for the free market. Everyone's for using power to hobble their competitors. You know, everyone's into, the only reason we have regulations is to create monopolies.

1:10:31The system is completely rigged and you know that you're asking, how do you get reliable information about the news? The news media want to talk about race. That's like their main thing that they want to talk about. Black, white, Hispanic, Asian. But that's actually not an interesting conversation because you can't change your race. and like people are different races and they're sort of different, but they're also very much the same. It's like not that interesting a topic to me personally. I'm not interested in talking about race. What's really interesting is that the United States of America is being looted by a small number of people who are getting away with it.

1:11:02And they don't want to talk about that. They never want to talk about economics. They never want to talk about the tax code. They never want to talk about any of that stuff ever. And that's how you know that CNBC and CNN and the New York Times, all these people are like looking out for you are actually just a Praetorian guard standing in front of the people with the most power and money and keeping the masses from asking uncomfortable questions. And so whenever anyone asks about like, well, wait a second, why do we tax people at half the rate for investing that we do for working? Literally, they pay half the tax rate.

1:11:35So you have a job and you work every day and you pay one rate, but if you just stay home and invest money and live off the interest, you pay half as much. So are we saying it's twice as virtuous to invest as it is to work? Is that what we're saying? So if you're a day trader or just trading stocks or something, you don't have to pay those taxes. Or if you're a private equity guy and you can claim that your income is interest on your investments, you pay half the taxes. So we have a tax code that discourages work and encourages parasitic behavior. Now, there are arguments on both sides, and I'm not an economist, but you don't even hear those arguments.

1:12:14because it's like, shut up, racism. Yeah. Trannies or whatever. It's all a distraction from what the real story is, which is they're looting the country. Looting. And at this point, you know, we can't repay the debt that we owe. So it's going to be like, well, unfortunately we had to sell Yellowstone. Yeah. And no, I mean, it's going to get to the point where we're auctioning - And now we sold it to Asians, you know? No, no, for real. Yeah. Where we're, I mean, what is - And then they're going to say the sale was racist too. That's going to be the craziest part. No, you're asking questions about it as racist.

1:12:42Okay. Yeah, no, you're always the racist, just to be clear. You're always the racist. Louisiana man. It wasn't David Duke from Louisiana. Shut up, Klansman. Yeah, I used to lift weights with David Duke. Oh, God. In prison? No. I can see you guys in the yard. All the Aryan Nation guys. He's like on your back as you're doing pushups. Bro, I was never in any Aryan Nation, dude, you know? Not even in prison? No, I never even went to any of their meetings or anything. I saw pamphlets or whatever, but I never holed up over there. But yeah, we shared a back fence, and he used to date this hot girl that worked at a seafood restaurant that I worked at.

1:13:20So he'd pop in there, and I'd watch him eat shrimp or whatever. What was the seafood restaurant? It was called Morton's Seafood in Madisonville, right on the river. Really? I worked over there, baby, and I was a bus boy, and they used to have raccoons coming out the wall when they'd cook duck. Look, the boarding was bad on the wall. It had rotted out, and they'd let one of us busboys get there with a broomstick. We'd have to stand there and beat the raccoons back into the wall. They're ferocious animals. Well, they loved up. Of course they do, and pizza. Oh, really? Oh, yeah. Oh, wow. You call them trash pandas where I live, and you see them outside in the trash cans.

1:13:52Oh, yeah. And they love pizza. I like pizza. Oh, yeah. Unfortunately. And, oh, yeah, you have pizza, and you, you know. Oh, boy. Yeah, they go crazy. I'd love to see. Now, that would be a good Dave Portnoy thing where he does one bite to a raccoon with a bite, you know? Have you ever seen a raccoon eat? You never gave him any duck, did you? Oh, I pulled up on him and they're always like this. Yeah, right with their hands. We didn't do it. The gayest one is the one in the recycling bin. He's always like, wait. You know? At least the other ones are in the trash. There's always that one that kind of wanders up from the recycling bin and he's wearing like a negligee of your mom's or something.

1:14:27You're like, what the fuck has that one been doing, you know? but yeah they always are like plead innocent or whatever no they do they're so clever i love them oh they're crafty yeah i've never shot one i've seen them so many times in the woods there they are yeah they love dog food yeah that's that's kind of a mangy one i've seen we have big ones where i live yeah i grew up running a lot of rabies so when one would come down the street we'd all have to go inside do a lot of people have rabies where you grew up yeah i would say it was a little there was a big scare of it when was rabies popular can you look that up please when was rabies popular oh when i was a kid it was a big thing get out the street you know there's a sick raccoon or and um but when they got cars and electricity and stuff they fixed all that i mean they just it wasn't as big of a thing but um but yeah david duke man we go to the gym sometimes and i'll say this nice guy yeah i never met him nice guy you know he never you know we just did chest and tries or whatever there was never any racial things or whatever you know but he was a very fit man i've never met him but i will say this and i'm not saying he's a fed though he's obviously a fed but every time i would get a new show i don't know anything about david duke i'm from la jolla california he wasn't quite as popular there yeah because another picture but every time i get a new show there would be some news story david duke endorses tucker girls i'd be like why you i don't know you i don't know anything about you i'm from la jolla yeah okay we don't share a common culture yeah i'm from mitt romney country 100 literally mitt romney goes to la jolla comedy store i use comedy store la jolla is one of my favorite no way my favorite comedy club in the whole country it's been there a long time it's the best i was a child really up in the village yeah yeah in fact there was a jack-in-the-box next door that i used to ride my bike to um i remember that jack it wasn't it was maybe disappeared a few years ago if it did or it closed it down for a while because they got caught selling kangaroo meat oh yeah in the 70s and i don't i don't know if that story was actually true but that's what everyone in the town thought i mean look if you can get a fucking couple grams of rue in la joia i told rue burgers that's what we called them that's so funny i would have that close look at the meat it was gray and kind of bristly and it was not beef i mean i and i think the company was owned by ralston purina at one point oh yeah and they're out of um i believe they're out of uh are they i think yeah i know they're out of the midwest um but yeah i loved it over there you'd always hear i love la jolla it's a beautiful area um but they weren't big on racism there when i was a kid yeah i don't know yeah i don't know if they hit well it's mostly white there well that's why they're not big on racism right yeah like people are expecting we can't do it no it was like rich white people oh yeah rich white people oh yeah no it seemed like rich people yeah for sure it's like yeah you feel rich even when you're driving by or you feel like people want you to leave i feel like it was it's beautiful there yeah it's really pretty it's very beautiful sad though soulless is it yes yeah no soul at all no one had a last name i mean it was obviously it's one of the prettiest places in the world.

1:17:34But yeah, it was, you know, hi, I'm Bob. I'm a Sagittarius. Like nobody had a real connection to anyone else. Everyone's just kind of passing through. And the first time I went to New Orleans, which is obviously a disgusting place, but I loved it because it was so, it was just so thick. It was just so much there and all these weird rituals and customs. There's had a culture and I just didn't grow up around that at all. And even though I didn't understand what they were doing in New Orleans and obviously I was very threatened by it because like half the town is a violent criminal right but I still liked it because I thought this is interesting in a way that nothing I grew up with was interesting at all I could totally see that yeah I think I grew up in a place that was just so you know it was just there was so much lore and stuff in our area that and I think that's just a lot of the way that Louisiana was Amos Moses is from Louisiana I I don't know, but I love that song.

1:18:28But you just picture, you know, wrestling alligators in the swamp. And where I grew up, people literally talked about the weather every single day, every day. And the weather never changed. It wasn't like we lived in Minnesota or something. It's very Truman show there in the long. It's unbelievable. Be like, well, it's gonna be 72 and partly cloudy, moving to mostly sunny in the afternoon. It's gonna be 68 overnight tomorrow. And then it would just be on an endless repeat. It was a skipping record. Did you hate that about yourself? That like, was there any self-loathing? Because I hated myself because I was poor, right?

1:19:03But does that happen on the other end of the spectrum? And I hated my neighborhood. I just felt embarrassed, right? Does that happen on the other end of the spectrum where people - No, not enough. There should be a lot more self-hatred in rich neighborhoods, I think. And I hate to say self-hatred, sorry. I was ashamed of myself. That's a better way to say it. There should be more shame. It should be more shame. Like if you've amassed$100 million from sucking the last remaining lifeblood out of some manufacturing company in the Midwest, calling it private equity, like you should hate yourself a little bit.

1:19:35You know what I mean? And there's none of that. And I think that's part of the problem. There's not enough guilt among the ruling class. There's no sense of obligation to people beneath them. And that's one of the reasons they hate them so much. That's one of the reasons that the fentanyl crisis has not even been acknowledged by Washington is because they kind of know they're responsible for it. And you wind up hating the people you've wronged. I have noticed. Like, what do you mean that you might wind up hating? If you commit a sin against somebody, if you're cruel to somebody, unfair to somebody, you cheat somebody, you wind up hating that person as a way of justifying what you did.

1:20:09And the only way to stop that is by admitting what you did and saying it out loud to the person's face and asking for his forgiveness. which again is why the 12-step model works, right? But if you don't do that, you wind up blaming the person for the crime that you committed against him. And that's one of the reasons that people who don't get sober are so angry at the world. They're pissed at their parents. You meet these people, their parents sent them to rehab six times and they're pissed at their parents. Why are you mad at your parents? They did everything they could. And the reason that junkie's mad at his parents is because he knows that he's actually the guilty party and he's committed massive crimes against them, but he can't admit it.

1:20:46so he blames them. And that is true at a macro level as well. And if your ruling class of all the richest people have gotten rich by dicking over the people beneath them, running these fascist companies that spy on their employees' phone calls and track them as they come in and out of the building and require them to work on Sundays with no overtime, and just really inhumane sweatshop-type practices, creepy Stassi stuff, those people end up having great contempt for their own employees. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, well, I think it's one of the spaces we're getting to right now in the country is people, if you're an owner of something, if you are a, well, you know what's interesting is when you say that, I recently met a guy who was a Democrat, right?

1:21:29He's like a devout Democrat, right? And he said to me, this was interesting, I'd never heard this. He said, you know, I vote for Democrats because I want there to be programs in place to keep the people that are struggling. I want to keep them. I want to satiate them just enough so they don't rebel. They don't have power. Right. And I'd never heard that. You said that out loud? Yeah, he said that to me. And I was like, that's so, I'd never heard that before. Here's your weed. Here's your porn. Just don't make a mess. Just don't make a mess so that the rest of us who don't, who aren't as unfortunate as you can still operate like we operate.

1:22:11Okay, so - At Blumheim, I just never heard that perspective. Was this on camera that the person said? No, this was just in a human conversation. There's two humans eating - Well, an inhuman conversation, really. Inhuman, yeah. I mean, like, what? Yeah, I had a salad. I don't know what he had. We're having lunch. The blood of children, probably, I would think. He was, yeah. Sounds that way. He had an O negative, yeah. Junior, yeah. I mean, that is so dark, but it's so true. And by the way, bless him for his honesty, because that is exactly what's going on. And that's not how you treat your own kids or people you love.

1:22:40You'd never say, I'm going to keep you on just enough assistance that you cannot starve to death, but that you'll be like so harried by the shittiness of your existence that you'll never challenge my power. Like that is a crime. I've never heard that. Well, that's the plan. As an American value, that was like, oh, that's never a way that I ever would thought or think. No, because you encourage self-sufficiency because that's where self-respect comes from. I've got my shit in a pile and I'm proud of myself that's the goal for an adult man and if you're preventing people from getting to that then you are committing a crime and you should be held accountable for it in my opinion but there's nobody to hold anybody accountable anymore it feels like I know well I'm very aware of that everyone's in on it well it's just so interesting how do we get out of it then?

1:23:27by saying the truth out loud I think that's the only recourse I think that's more powerful than than guns I mean I do saying truth I mean, that's what they get hysterical about. There'll be a mass shooting, and there'll be three days, we need to take all our guns away. They're not going to take your guns away, okay? Because they can't, but that's not their priority. But when somebody says something that's true, I mean, they will disappear a person for that. Like, you'll never hear from them again. And there's a reason. And the reason is nothing is a greater threat to the people running things than true words.

1:24:00And that's why they're - You mean like about Kanye, you mean? I'm not talking about, well, Kanye was disappeared. Yeah. I mean, and my view of Kanye would be, you know, if you show up on Alex Jones in a hockey mask saying you love Hitler, you're probably not really a threat to anybody, actually. I mean, are there really a lot of people who are going to watch Kanye being like, I love Hitler, and be like, wow, I love Hitler too. Yeah. No, no. No. Oh, you might be able to walk on with the devil rays maybe, you know. No, but I'm just saying, like, that wasn't, if you actually wanted to promote Hitler, and I hope no one would ever want to promote Hitler, but if you did, that would not be the way to do it.

1:24:36Right? So actually, how is Kanye a threat to anybody? I don't think he was. And by the way, he's a recording artist. He's a musician. So like in a clothing designer, he's not in charge of federal policy. So I did think, yeah, I thought that was distressing just because I don't think anybody should be silenced. If you're not committing violence against somebody, you have the right as a human being because you are not a slave you are a human being you have the right to say what you think that is that is a foundational right and if you don't have the right to say what you think then you're not a human being you're a slave like that's the acid test am i a slave or not i don't know one simple question can you say what you really think and if you can't then you're a slave super simple well now it feels like they own it used to feel like you could write what you think but they now it feels like the paper is owned right yeah so they can like even with ai coming out it's like they could even adjust what you write so you don't even fucking have a value to write anything anymore it's like hey just put in kind of how you feel we'll write what you what you're saying like it's getting to that you know i'm saying it almost starts to know it could be two years from that where it's like i've been a writer all my life and to see now machines doing that and actually doing a fairly you know serviceable job i mean writing poetry and screenplays and yeah giving me a fake father you know but upgrade or no uh a little younger than my dad but i don't know that guy seemed a little bit devious my father seemed a little happier than him um fair i'm gonna urinate real fast you're gonna urinate yeah all right like a racehorse my brother you ever owned a horse never owned a horse i'm a dog guy really you ever bet on dogs you ever put one in at the track honestly yes i have yeah in florida and in fact in florida in the 80s now that dog track has now been closed and i love dogs and i've always loved dogs yeah and it's the one in miami that's near the airport and it was the most depressing inhumane like you just wanted to send money to pita spending 20 minutes there but i did go there yes i had been drinking and probably other things and i did bet on the greyhounds and i feel bad about it yeah i do you ever ridden on greyhound i've always i've always been a sizable man i could and they buck me off every time i try really yeah wheel around and bite me yeah they're they don't it's hard to saddle a greyhound no i mean the bus service oh sorry sorry i thought you meant the dogs oh no i spent a lot of time on actually true story yeah i had a girlfriend in high school um but we went to different colleges and she went to Vanderbilt University in Nashville Tennessee and I lived in New England which is a small colder region Will Shepard over there go on and I took the bus I took a Greyhound bus from Washington DC where my parents lived to Nashville which is like 12 hours yeah and then I took one back and so this bus was going on to New York City and for some reason was 100 Puerto Rican and me and I was at the back of the bus and it left at like midnight yeah and i was drinking and smoking on the that's how long ago it was this was 1987 i'll never forget it and i fall asleep because i'm so loaded i'm taking a leak in the empty cans you know just doing what you do in a great home life dude and all of a sudden i feel this wet grainy thing on my face and these people right there in the seat right across the aisle were just like full coitus just like oh yeah playing couch ball just full blown a six sound effects everything and the guy was wearing socks and one of the socks hit my face and it was just moist and had a lot of gravel from the ground on it and i remember thinking this is the i can't wait to get off this bus it was dark it was nothing erotic about it at all oh yeah right i mean i don't know it depends on what you're you know how you are at the time i think well i was drunk and in a dead sleep and they're rolling around and she's making these animal noises like they were not at all inhibited which was kind of impressive in a way but i felt it was very much an intrusion into my space wow yeah that's fair like hey is there any zoning over here right what yeah who does yeah do we have a town planner that's a true story yeah oh that's good oh greyhound's unbelievable dude i remember one time a guy's on there right sitting by me he goes hey uh and Yeah, there was a brother on there, and he goes, hey, you want to see something?

1:29:08And I thought it was going to be his wiener, right? Because I've been on the bus before. But you said yes. Well, it was a two-hour ride. I was like, I'll fucking see it now. I'm not going to pretend. So you thought he cut a hole in the bottom of your head? Yeah, I thought something. I get it. I get it. Some wiener trick, you know? Been there, totally. The old greyhound wiener trick. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I was like, yeah, I'll see it, you know? and he had a bag of jewelry and a gun and he just robbed a jewelry store. Wow. Did you buy any? No, I didn't buy any, but he wanted me to sit there and look at it and I put on a couple of the necklaces or whatever.

1:29:43Did you act impressed? Oh, yeah. Because I was scared. And they always give the guy, you know, once you get out of jail, they give you a ticket on the fucking Greyhound. But imagine you rob a jewelry store and your getaway vehicle is a Greyhound bus. Unbelievable. You are retarded if you're doing that. You're like, we got to get out of here in seven hours. We got to get out of here. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I bought the ticket. Yeah. It's pretty cool. Dude, it was, yeah, I mean, I loved riding Greyhound. I used to work on a farm up in Mississippi, and so I would take a Greyhound bus up there, and I would ride it up there, and there was always people on there.

1:30:19What's the bathroom like on a Mississippi Greyhound bus? Ghosts on there. It was always closed, they said, you know. I was on one where, yeah, part of it was on fire. I was on one where a guy stopped to fucking meet his ex or something for like 20 minutes. And we all had a chill at an eye hop. No way. 100%. Dude, go to Greyhound Bus Twitter feed, Greyhound Bus Help, and look at their replies on there. Bro, welcome to America, bro. I love that. So it's just like every Waffle House they stop at. Oh, it's just like, the bus supposed to leave at 430, it's 970. Somebody would be like, it's 970. Boy, you have a bad watch.

1:31:01But like, it's 970, two people are pregnant. It's just the list goes on, man. Chances I'd like the people on those buses, 100%. Yeah, everything on here is unbelievable. This is, but seriously, all, drivers allowed my bag to be stolen this trip? Where's customer service? Yeah, go back one. They got a video. Let me see that video on there. This is what I do at night. I go to Greyhound Bus Help Twitter feed, and they'll show stuff. Yeah, little eight balls between the seats or different things. There's somebody. I found a gram down there between the seats. Did you ever do that? I never found any drugs on there.

1:31:37Oh, that might be somebody touching themselves. Don't let that video finish, please. But I spent a lot of time on this, man. It's insane. Greyhound Bus Help, it's called? Greyhound Bus Help. but yeah they could change it it would still work um i'm gonna urinate real fast all right so sorry i had to urinate and that's why i heard it yeah well and it's okay strong stream oh the saddest part was being little and just not being able to pee in there and i grew up around we had a lot of dudes and they would hold a lot of brothers back three or four years so you'd have a big brother in there and he'd pee with his dude mr larry right mr larry yeah he was like they'd held him back like seven times right so at that point you got to respect him you know 100 and he would urinate over your back and it just just right into the urinal dude you'd be standing there peeing right you're like a scared kid remember how scary it was your first time you had to go into the urinals as a kid no oh well i grew up in a less threatening environment oh you did because there's no one doing piss rainbows over my shoulder no that wasn't a thing he was the fucking gary payton of piss on me he would fucking shoot from deep and so you'd literally be peeing imagine this and you can't pee you're scared and then a fucking pee comes just from above and goes perfectly in that's so impressive you just feel demoralized though no but i mean the pounds per square inch just the velocity you know what i mean you think you'd almost need co2 to get that much power yeah it was impressive man it's crazy what some men can do you know or young men or adolescence.

1:33:17Yeah, there's not a lot of dribbling at that age. Yeah, yeah. Oh, there wasn't any dribbling, dude. No dribbling. It was just shooting. And then at the end, it's like, bam, off. It's like the Bellagio fountains. Like when it's done, it's done. I do respect that. So what's your, what is news like around the world? That's something I don't understand. So different. It's crazy. You don't realize. You don't realize that we live in this bizarre biosphere where you have no idea what's going on in the rest of the world. You have no idea how you're perceived, the United States is perceived. And you have no idea really your place in the global order because we're cut off from the rest of the world and we have these two extremely lame, irrelevant countries bordering us, but that's it.

1:33:59You know, Mexico and Canada, no offense, I like them both, but like nobody cares. But there are big, important countries around the world and they're very focused on the United States and they have all these views about what we're doing and those views are never expressed here. So if you're a leader in the United States, you can be like, well, we're doing this for democracy. This is the arsenal of democracy. And then you go to the countries that are directly affected by those policies and they're like, you're freaking insane. You have no idea what you're talking about. I mean, the mind blower for me this summer, we traveled all over the world, a bunch of different continents and we're still doing it because I got fired.

1:34:32So I've been stuck in a studio for all those years. So now you got to get out and about. Well, kind of. I mean, I go on vacation for two weeks a year, but that was it. you know when you do well you do a show regularly it's you're tied to where you are period you're in a studio yeah so all of a sudden i'm like wow i'm kind of free emancipated yeah for a few months and it was the summertime and anyway so we wouldn't but the shock for me was and this is not a partisan point at all at all and what does partisan mean it means like carrying water for a party like this is what republicans think or so democrats non-partisan means not this is just what i think is true and like it doesn't matter what the either party says okay what does non-partisan mean it just means not partisan it's not you're not connected to a party you're not helping either party okay but what i mean is both parties republican and democrat were saying for a year and a half ukraine is winning this war against russia yeah i remember hearing that oh yeah i mean and i still think people believe that so whatever you think of the war russia ukraine i mean you know i'm not that interested honestly because i'm not russian or ukrainian is the truth but lots of americans seem to be interested and they have their little Ukrainian flags and they're learning to pronounce Kiev as Kiev and they're doing all the steps that you need to do.

1:35:44Repeating all the dumb slogans. Slava Ukraine. Yeah, they don't, you know, whatever. Americans have this thing where they have no idea where something is, but they're like, all of a sudden, you see it now with the Middle East, well, I'm an expert, you know. It's like the Nakba. What? Stop. But anyway, but the article of faith for most Americans was that Ukraine is winning this war. So, I mean, I don't, how do I know? You know what I mean? I'm stuck in a studio. So I go over to the region, two different countries that border Ukraine. Oh, you popped over there to Ukraine? No, no, I didn't go to Ukraine.

1:36:12I don't think I'd do well in Ukraine, no. Really? Well, the government of Ukraine has attacked me by name a lot, so I feel like that was unwise. Who's their master over there, their leader? Well, the president is a guy called Vladimir Zelensky. Oh, right, that's right. He's a fucking comedian. Yeah, a very unfunny one. Yeah, do we have any videos of him doing stand-up comedy? he's he's got one where he's playing the piano with his dick i don't know if you can find that oh really yeah but yeah and actually fairly well was it at a sig app house where was that it was in ukraine somewhere oh no i think that's yeah it's a pretty common thing um there oh there he is playing piano with his penis yes is he really oh yes oh anybody can be president now well i don't know can you play the piano with your penis huh

1:37:07a little bit of baltoven that's yep kind of hacky but it's cute though that was good thank you i like that i said that just because i knew you might like it i love that i wish i'd said that but anyway so whatever i don't i don't care about these guys in any way but i go over there and i I start talking to very knowledgeable people, like the people who run these countries. And they're like, what? No. Russia has a hundred million more people than Ukraine. A hundred million. Wow. And much deeper industrial capacity. They have all these weapons factories. Like you're not going to, it's the largest country in the world by landmass.

1:37:41There's no, literally no chance, even theoretically Ukraine could beat them. But aren't they an industrial old, aren't they, aren't they like, you know, things made out of stone? Aren't they like living in the past with a lot of like technology? Well, it turns out, I mean, Or is there military advanced? Well, we always made fun of it, you know, during the Soviet period because it was super inefficient and they were all drunk and they would crash their commercial airliners all the time from drunkenness. All the time. Back to famous, their carrier, the international carrier, their national carrier is called Aeroflot.

1:38:12The Russian carrier was the Soviet carrier. And in a very, very famous crash, the pilot had his son in the cockpit with passengers on the plane. And the cockpit voice recorder proved this. and the sun just takes the yoke and just pushes it down and flies the plane right into the ground. So like people made fun correctly of Soviet technology, but it turns out they were actually pretty good at this. You know, they produced a lot of chess players. They're not stupid people at all. And neither of the Ukrainians for that matter. But anyway, the point is the Russians were never going to lose, period.

1:38:46And anyone who looked at it objectively would know that, except no one in the United States knew that. So that kind of freaked me out. I'm like, we have a big country, smart country, the most advanced country in the world, supposedly. And nobody even knows a basic fact. Who's really winning. Like Russia has 100 million more people. Of course, they're not going to lose to Ukraine. Like that's insane. And yet nobody knew that. So I thought, wow, what else don't we know? Yeah. You know, and like to the amount of lying that you can do in a world where everything is controlled. All information is controlled with the exception pretty much of Twitter because the guy who owns it has said he's not going to censor.

1:39:22yeah Elon it's nice I feel like that's one thing that I thought was that yeah maybe that's it that's what's about censorship is at least you feel like you can say things uh or that things can be shared on there because didn't do you feel I mean as someone who writes comedy does this every day do you feel freer on the platform now on Twitter yeah I feel like at least if YouTube takes me down. Oh, look at that. Comedy is legal on this platform. So Elon like specifically endorsed your right to say. Yeah, it was nice of him. We had Roseanne Barr on and she's a, I like her a lot. Oh dude, she fucking did so much for a comedy.

1:40:04She did so much for women and gays. And, uh, wait, I saw part of that. And they, uh, Hollywood threw under the fucking bus as soon as they had a chance because they're heartless. And, um, and so anyway, She was on my show and she - I saw that. And they took, tell me if I'm misremembering this. They took a line that she had and they cut out all the context and put it like on TikTok. And it made her sound like she was a crazy person or a vicious person, which she's not. Either one was. Yeah, she's a Jewish. I mean, she was born Jewish. I think she's still Jewish, right? She is. And so she said, yeah, oh, and the Holocaust never happened, right?

1:40:43She said sarcastically, right? Of course. I think she had relatives who died, didn't it? Yes. yeah very obvious right of course and they some guy on twitter assles sam i don't know what the guy's name was something's fucklstein or somebody he fucking made a big deal about it from the minneapolis fucklsteins yeah probably i know them this dude this was two weeks after right makes a big deal about or just put that clip into whatever no context so then youtube took us down took that episode down but we got to put it on twitter so that was nice at least because it was an honest place, you know? Um, but what I worry about is like, didn't some of these companies, didn't Twitter or Facebook, didn't they get in trouble for not letting like during election times, like not real information being allowed to be shared?

1:41:32Yeah. I mean, I don't know who would get them in trouble. They run everything. And, you know, my concern would be as we're getting to this election, it's very intense. No, I think they're, you know, very intense people on both sides. And if you actually had a platform that was open for everyone to say what he or she thinks, that's a massive threat to the asshole community. And I think that the, because the truth is always a threat to liars. That's just, it never changes. People are killed never for lying, ever. They're only killed for telling the truth. You're only punished for telling the truth.

1:42:05People get mad because you told the truth. Everyone should know that. So, I mean, I don't, I can't imagine the pressure that's going to come to bear on this company x now over the next year i mean it you know it's going to be without precedent i think do you think elon could be i mean there could be like even an assassination attempt on him or something i would never speculate about something like that but i just think there's like you can't you're a guy at a bar what are you going to say you know you know i i think there's going to be i would have a food taster i mean i think it's i think look the one the one thing we look if you're doing a great job at something if you're a great father, great husband, great employer, great comedian, you're not too worried because you know you're doing a good job.

1:42:48But if you're doing a bad job and the only beneficiary of your work is you and everyone else is getting screwed and they can't even afford to fill up their truck or buy groceries and you're still getting rich, you're very worried. Dictators are always worried about their own security. Okay. So what's the biggest threat to you? The biggest threat is someone calling you out. And so you have to shut down any medium where that could possibly happen. So obviously Facebook is completely controlled. Google is completely controlled. TikTok, foreign company, God knows what their agenda is. So really the only big platform that's pretty not controlled with some, apparently some limits, but in general, it's not controlled.

1:43:28It's free speech is X. I agree. So like there's a lot at stake. Legitimate leaders don't worry about this. If I'm a legitimate leader, if I'm a good father, and one of my kids is like, I want to smoke weed at the breakfast table. You're like, you can't, sorry. Because I make the rules, no weed at the breakfast table. I'm not worried about saying that because I think I'm a pretty good father. And I think my kids think I'm a pretty good father. But if I'm a terrible father who's abusing my kids, I can't let them say anything because the authorities might find out. I got to get punished for what they know.

1:43:59And that is the same attitude that every dictator has. That's why all dictators take the guns and impose censorship is the first thing they do. They don't want to throw you in prison. It's expensive. It's difficult. They don't want to execute you. They just want you to shut up and be obedient. And Elon Musk, in buying this platform and opening it up to all positions, even unpopular ones, is the single greatest threat to their hegemony, to their control. And I'm not predicting their response, but I mean, it's going to be intense, super intense. I can say that. Do you have security and that sort of thing if you were him?

1:44:30Would you have like somebody, you know, would you make sure that the Tesla truck, which is supposed to have been out for 17 years, but that it has extra bulletproofness in the glass? I would definitely include as a standard feature, not an add-on, the oil tanks that drop the oil onto the road behind you so that people pursue, when you spin out and go right into a bridge abutment or off the side of the mountain, off Mall Holland, you know what I mean? I would definitely do that. And I'd have like hidden machine guns under the side view mirrors. I'd have a death ray possibly. That would probably be a custom feature, but I would have stuff like that, yeah, for sure.

1:45:06Do you think we get fair news about, like, even the war, like, in Israel and Hamas? Like, do you think we get fair information about that? Like, Joe Rogan had a lady on recently, and she was saying that, like, the perception of what happens over there isn't the information that we get, you know? Do you see that? Think of it this way. What's at stake? People's lives, control of governments, control of land, you know, ancient rivalries and hatreds. I mean, there's so much at stake here. Oh, this is the Celtics and the Lakers from the Bible. That of course, yeah, I mean, it's very intense. And so of course there's going to be massive lying on all sides, and there is.

1:45:43And that's fine. And you go into it knowing that. I've spent a lot of time over there, and I will freely confess I don't understand a lot of the dynamics because I'm from La Jolla. I'm not from, you know, Janine or Jerusalem or Qatar. It's like I'm not from the region, okay? I don't speak the languages. but I know enough to know that there's massive lying and I think it's good to know that. The only thing that enrages me is when you hear people say, you know, you must believe me. I have no obligation to believe anybody. You have an obligation, if you want me to believe you, to prove what you're saying.

1:46:18Right. And I have a right to ask simple, fair questions. How do you know that? How can I trust that? And if you don't give me those answers, then I just don't believe you. And I don't have to believe you. And if your recourse is, you're a bad person for not believing me. Fuck you. That's my response. Fuck you. And especially in this case where my money and potentially my children's lives, well, that was a cocaine thing you just did. Yeah, one of these things got blown out of my nose every now and then I got to make sure it works. You got to open it up. Yeah. I agree with that. Respect. Just widen them out.

1:46:49There's no shame. God, it feel good. Doesn't it? God, dude. If I can feel it dripping down the back of my throat right now. Anyway, sorry to use profanity on your show, but it... somebody put on some Kesha, you know? Let's fucking rock. Is that what you listened to? I don't know what happened, dude. No, be honest. What were you listening to when you were alone? I think it was probably, yeah, some Kesha, some Traveling Wilburys. Traveling Wilburys? Maybe a little bit of a - That's the soundtrack of your private cocaine use? The Traveling Wilburys? I got a unique listen, you know? A little, maybe some Morgan Wallet, a different, you know, eclectic mix, I think.

1:47:24James Blake, maybe. What about Dustin a Baggy by Billy Strings? I've never heard that. I love Billy Strings, but I haven't heard Dustin a Baggy. Oh, it's a great tune. And it's about Dustin a Baggy. I thought it was an Irish guy. Dustin a Baggy. That's good. That's good. Dustin. Dustin, mom's pissed.

1:47:45Sorry, I'm just from Pittsburgh. Have you ever been to Boston? I've been to Pittsburgh, though. Dave Chappelle was just in Boston, man. You saw what they did to him over there? It was unbelievable. Yeah. do you think that's fair that they should because well it's not fair but it's like i don't know if you go to listen to dave chappelle these days you know he's going to talk more about a lot of stuff you know dave chappelle criticizes israel spars with crowd at boston show oh he criticized israel so i didn't know that's exactly what i mean look i wasn't there i only know what i wasn't there either but i think he made one point which i think is entirely i don't know if i agree i don't agree with Dave Chappelle on everything, of course.

1:48:22But the one point that I read that I did agree with was the United States is implicated in this and so we have a right to have an opinion on it. And that is obviously true. And anyone who tells you you don't have a right to have an opinion or you must have one specific opinion is wrong. And I think it's fair to say that. Yeah. Yeah, I think people should be able to have their opinions, you know? Yeah, because once you don't have your fucking opinion, then it's like, how do you get to a revolution? How do we get to a revolution? Because at what point do people just say, well, if you don't want my life to mean anything to me based on how you've set up the environment, at what point do you go from there to, then I am not going to play this game?

1:49:07Or how does a revolution start? They're very worried about it. That's why they're putting people in prison. I think they should be worried about it. They are worried. I'd love to fucking be on a horseback, dude. You know how you get to a revolution is by not listening to people. and not serving their interests and telling them to shut up again and again, calling them names, you know, something, you've got a legitimate question. Like, why should I support a war with the run? Shut up! You know, calling me, what? You know, I have four children of draft age. Like, why is that not a fair question for me?

1:49:34Shut up! And you do that enough. And I have recourse because I have a platform, but most people don't. And if you tell them to shut up enough, like, we don't care that you care about gas prices and your stupid pickup truck. Well, some people like their pickup trucks and they use them for work and if it's not affordable to fill it up that's a big deal for them if you're like shut up climate change pig you know your nephew ods on fentanyl and nobody cares like if you keep that up for long enough you'll make people radical and why wouldn't they be radical actually and i'm so insulated for most of it because i have enough money and i'm not in debt and my kids are grown and paid for and like i'm in a much easier position than most people.

1:50:17Right. And I feel radical just watching. Right. And so why wouldn't they be on the brink of being unreasonable? And it doesn't need to be this way. You don't have to solve all people's problems. Like some problems are very hard to solve and people know that. There's no magic button you press that ends inflation or stops fentanyl. And everyone knows that. All you need to do is express the fact and do it sincerely that you care. You acknowledge these are big problems. But when the Speaker of the House, who I know is a nice guy from your state, the new Speaker of the House comes in, and the first thing he does is issue a statement on behalf of a foreign country.

1:50:56That's the most important thing. And I'm not even against the statement, but I'm just saying, like, what bigger statement does that make? That's him, Mikey Johnson? Yeah. He's the Speaker? He is. Praise God. Damn, Mikey. He's a nice guy and I'm not against him, but I'm just saying like, if you think the welfare of another country is the most important thing for you as one of the leaders of our country, third in line to the presidency, you have lost the thread, son, because it's not. Nothing is more important for the leaders of our country than our country and how it's 350 million people are doing.

1:51:30So I was enraged by that. And people were like, oh, are you for Hamas? Of course I'm not for Hamas at all. I'm for America, actually. I shouldn't even have to answer that question. Are you for Israel or Hamas? I mean, obviously I'm for Israel over Hamas, but that's irrelevant. I'm for America and no one even asked that. And I feel deep resentment about that, that the concerns of this country are of no concern. Right, right. It feels like our concerns don't even fucking matter anymore. They don't matter. That's why it makes me wonder, are we just a shell company for Israel? Are we just a shell company for China?

1:52:03Like, where are we anymore? Like, are we just - Well, there are a lot of people who live here who really like it here. Who were born here. Oh, yeah, I love it here. Who I know you do. And I'm just saying, like, it doesn't have to be this way. You know, there are people, there are hundreds of millions of people whose ancestors are buried here and they want to stay here. They don't have another passport. And it wouldn't be hard to rally them and just say, like, you're a Democrat, you're a Republican, you're this, you're that, but we're all American. And let's have a conversation about what's best for our country.

1:52:31You would get people from all sides being like, that's right. That's the right conversation. We may not even agree, but that's the conversation we should be having. And if you don't do that, I'm just telling you, you play with fire. People go crazy. And I'm totally convinced that the mass shootings we're seeing and the massive spike in mental illness that we're seeing, which is leading to the mass shootings, these are manifestations of the frustration, the hopelessness that people feel when they realize their leaders don't care about them. I believe that. I can't prove it. But I believe it because I happen to live in a place with a lot of, people who are not kind of succeeding in the modern world.

1:53:06And they're good people and they have skills and their families have been here for hundreds of years. We should care about them. I agree. But yeah, I think our country has been compromised by people that don't care and they don't see value in that. And it feels like it's just about a bottom line or it's about, I don't know, some goal that to me seems so erroneous i can't even fathom that you wouldn't have feelings like when you're like that sackler family that's just let watching people's children die just you can make money off of a fucking pill who cares what do you eat what are you going to get another like half bathroom or something like what are you going to get exactly like i just i don't understand the goal sometimes of um of some of that or why people would think that selling someone out to such a point where they don't have any purpose where you take away their hope you know we had a guy on here talk about meaning this guy john verbecki and he was real interesting this guy is from canada and he just talks about meaning and when people don't have like um when they don't feel like they're supported by i'm gonna fuck it up but if they don't feel like they're part of a group or they don't feel like um if they're totally cut off from other people and just floating around atomized and alone.

1:54:30Right. It drives them crazy. Right. You go crazy. Yeah. And then you get a necessary confinement. Exactly. So you've basically taken so much of America by taking away like things that brought us together. Yes. And some of those things were smaller towns, like businesses in small towns. Of course. Things that made people feel of value. You know, my father went to a, you know, my father, his family was mahogany farmers. They did wood. And so I think if your father went into the woods in your town or whatever, part of a company that built tables. They were literally mahogany farmers? Yeah, and you had a table at home, and then it was your dad's company's table.

1:55:03You'd be like, we eat at our families. Of course. We build it in our town. There's some physical connection between labor and reward. Yeah. Not all theoretical and digital and bullshit. Yeah. Zoom calls and, yeah. Yeah, now it's just like, do you want to eat at this fucking Chipotle Sitgo, you know, where they're selling gas and burritos and, you know, and it just like - Is that a thing? But that's a fucking town hall of a lot of time. It's just, now everything has just been, it's a dollar general in most towns and that's what it is now. It's like, just we've killed off a lot of that. What's interesting is you drive through, I like to hunt and fish, so I've been in a lot of small towns in America because that's where the hunting and the fishing is.

1:55:39And some of these towns, and especially the county seats in rural towns, have beautiful courthouses. Beautiful. Like somebody spent a lot of money and a lot of time to make a beautiful public building. One of those hasn't been built since the Second World War. That is true. probably since the 30s, since the Depression. Wow. Your state especially. You've got a lot of great public architecture in Louisiana. None of it has been built since Huey Long was murdered. Okay? So why is that? And it's been replaced by disposable garbage in the dollar store. I'm sorry to single them out, but they are a symbol of it.

1:56:12It's so intentionally ugly. Box stores are so ugly. You're like, there's got to be a purpose behind. Architecture exists for a reason. You're sending a message when you build a building, when you build anything. and the message of box stores and dollar stores and of public, the DMV is... You mean nothing. We're not going to spend any time or any energy trying to elevate you or please your senses or build anything beautiful. It's ugly on purpose to let you know that you mean nothing. You do not count. Shut up and obey. You're an animal, actually. And I just feel like there's something very profound about that, the message that it sends.

1:56:53And everyone receives the message, whether they know it or not. You go into a DMV, what's it telling you? Wait your turn, wait for your number. And then some surly low IQ person like hassles you over. It's like, I'm a citizen of this country. Why don't you even have to have a driver's license? Give me my fucking papers and let me get out of here. How dare you speak to me that way? But you can't because she's in charge. The whole experience is designed to degrade you and make you less powerful, to take your self-respect away. I'm very upset by it. Oh, the DMV, it's almost like they have a line.

1:57:28If you come out of the closet, you get to go to the front of the line, you know? I'd be willing to do that. Yeah, but that's the kind of shit I'm saying. It's like, that's how much they want to compromise who you are or what you are. But look at that. Okay, the drop ceiling. Like there's no reason to have lighting like that. It doesn't cost more. Maybe to put some lamps or sconces or something. There's nothing more oppressive than a drop ceiling with fluorescent lighting. And there's no reason to have that. And everything is made out of vinyl and metal. There's not one natural material in there.

1:57:57Why not have wooden benches? What would that cost extra? Train stations used to have them, but they don't. Because the message there is all this shit's disposable. It'll be in a landfill in five years, and so will you. Everything about that is degrading to the citizen, and it's not an accident. We've been doing that since the day we dropped the atomic bomb on Hiroshima. That is true. Why? I mean, I have a lot of theories about it. I have no evidence to back up any of my theories, so I should just say that. I think that dropping the atomic bomb on Japan convinced the U.S. government and the Western leaders more broadly that they were God.

1:58:31They had the power to destroy whole cities. nuclear power when weaponized is the most powerful tool man's ever made and it gave people the impression that they were god and they lost all humility and all love for their fellow citizens they lost love for their fellow citizens that's what our architecture post-war architecture conveys i don't love you i don't care about you the british colonized whole countries india for example yeah they didn't love the i mean they love the indians but they thought the indians were lesser than them they did they were racist in our current understanding of that word but they built train stations in say calcutta or bombay that would blow your freaking mind there's nothing as beautiful in the united states as the train stations they built in the subcontinent in india oh yeah stunning places right stunning so like what does that tell you and these were colonial train stations built for indian subjects right look at that but they still had a lot of pride and what they built.

1:59:24They did, but people... Here, do the one in Mumbai. The Mumbai train station is like the most unbelievable. I met a Pakistani the other day. Well, that was part of India up until 1947. They have their own autonomy now. They do. They have nuclear weapons, actually. Look at that. Look at that right there. Wow. Look at that. Come on. That looks like... I mean, that's the train station in Bombay, Mumbai, India. Oh, yeah. I've been there. And it just, I sat there and it's very poorly maintained. The Indian government has done nothing to kind of preserve it, unfortunately. And they've built a lot of garbage architecture they stole from our anti-human architects.

2:00:06But like, what kind of country would build something like that? A country that cared about pleasing people. You look at that, that pleases you. You want to keep staring at it because it's beautiful. We've created nothing of beauty in the United States in 80 years. like what the hell roy lichtenstein and andy warhol that's beauty no it's not it's garbage yeah yeah it's bootleg you're getting me going baby am i yeah oh yeah dude i like your attitude well you know where there's great architecture that blew my mind milwaukee the best down by the river dude milwaukee yes is a such a beautiful city i totally agree with you i had no idea have Have you tried Cleveland?

2:00:49Uh, yeah. I mean, Cleveland obviously is famously screwed up, mistake by the lake, but it's like, look at that right there. So the Germans built it. Milwaukee was a German city, obviously. It was? Oh, yeah. That's why the beer was brewed there. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Very German city. I love, but we just, I. And they recreated Europe, the best of Europe. Yeah, Cleveland definitely, it was a bit of a different experience, I think, when I was there. Look at that. Look at that building. It's stunning. Imagine building something like that. And instead, we build glass boxes that are LEED certified. And it's like we've built nothing of value, nothing of permanence, nothing we have built in my lifetime will last.

2:01:29And rightly so. There are Roman buildings and arches. Rome. That are going to last longer. Rome fell in the 5th century. And they're still there. And that will outlast the construction of a fucking half these petcos or whatever. It's true. It's totally true. Yeah. Sorry. No, it's crazy, though. But we just, there's something, something happened. And I think, I think that's the infection that starts to get into the spirit of us, you know? And I think that's the fight that's going on inside of a lot of people. Make something beautiful. That's what we should be telling kids. Like your job in life, it's not just working for the man and paying the bills.

2:02:02It's make one thing that's beautiful, that you were proud of, that's an expression of something good inside you. Make it with your hands or with your mouth, but make it, make something beautiful. I don't know why that's, and by the way, when you say something that you think is, that you think, not others, you think is particularly funny or insightful. You're getting the truth about something. Aren't you filled with like this? Wow. Doesn't that feel like better than anything? Yeah, I think it feels like what you're supposed to be doing. Yes, that's it. Exactly. You're doing what you're supposed to be doing, what God made you to do.

2:02:35That's my feeling. And we, but that's not advice that we give at all. It's like how to be an obedient, get some stupid degree at some stupid college to be an obedient employee to some stupid asshole who runs it, who's going to mistreat you. Yeah. How do we... What's new in your world? What do you... Well, I've gone crazy. What are you doing now that's different with... You know, you got on the Twitter, right? And so I know that. And congratulations. Thank you. I think it's interesting. It's brave for people to get out of the system. A lot of people... I was expelled from the system. Oh, yeah. You got laid off from everywhere.

2:03:13I have, yeah. Was it cutbacks or why did you think? Cutbacks. No, it's not good. I love it. I'm going to use that though. There's downsizing. Just downsizing. Yeah. I'm being retrained. I'm learning to code actually. They closed the plant. I totally get it. I was on third shift and they're just, the demand was in decline. I am going to use that though next time. Why were you fired? Just downsizing. But you got out and you moved to - I was thrown out. You were thrown out. And Elon called me the day that my show was canceled. and I was grateful that he did. He called you, huh? Had you spoken to him before?

2:03:49Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. Yeah, I had, and I really liked him and I'm not a technology person, to put it mildly, like at all. Yeah, I've heard that. Yep, like almost on a crazy sort of Ted Kaczynski way, which is, I'm not defending. So who handles tech for you then? The tech people, I don't, they live in Bangalore. I don't know their names. Just kidding. No, we have super smart people. The Bangaloreans? Isn't that a movie? The Bangaloreans. No. Actually, our - Oh, Mandalorian. Most of our staff from Fox came. And Elon's, I mean, we don't work for Elon. I'm a Twitter user like everybody else. But all he said was, I'm going to keep the platform open, and people with differing views, whether I agree with them or not, are welcome on the platform.

2:04:33And that's the guarantee that I wanted and needed. And so I've been super grateful. I mean, that's all I've ever wanted, by the way, is to, I've never been a, I have made some money, but not, I never got crazy rich, but I never wanted to. That wasn't my goal at all. I mean, I guess I would like to be richer. I guess. I don't know what I would do with it exactly. Well, it's now it almost looks like a sickness too. You know, I think there should be a cap on the, the, the money acquisition thing. Yeah. There was a name for that actually. Historically it was called greed. Yeah. And then somewhere along the line, we like decide you weren't allowed to complain about greed.

2:05:07And I don't really, and cause you're against capitalism? First of all, there is no capitalism in the United States. There's no free market. Okay. The government controls everything. You can't have a business without intersecting with government and the government is used by businesses to create monopoly. So there's no free market. So let's stop lying about that. Second, I am not against capitalism. I'm for competition. I wish capitalism would return to the United States. But that doesn't mean that you can't say if I've got a billion dollars and I need 10 more, that that's your sick, actually. if that's your goal what would you do with a billion dollars i mean i don't want a billion dollars not that i'm in danger of getting it but if i was i'd be like i don't want that because then you spend your whole life worrying about losing it and your existence becomes about preserving money when your existence should be about loving the people around you and creating something beautiful those are your those are your jobs as a person in my opinion yeah well how could we put a cap on how much money people are allowed to make i guess people would find their way around I mean, the way to do it is to say it out loud.

2:06:05Again, everything changes with words. Articulate the truth. It's not an attack on capitalism, which again, does not exist in the United States. I wish it did. To say it is ugly. In fact, it's a sin to worship money. Yeah. It is. You should not be worshiping money. Worship God. Worship people around you. Worship nature even. But worshiping money is disgusting and we should not compliment people who do it. we should instead criticize them and say that's gross hey hedge fund manager that's gross yeah i'm sorry i think that no i fucking think that too man i remember like maybe a two years ago like it was like the first time i'd really made some money in my life and i thought and i remember i was in my garage and i i just was fucking heartbroken man i remember calling my brother i was crying but it didn't make you happy i thought i yeah because i well i didn't even know it was money i didn't know if it was popularity i don't know what had happened but i got into a different space in my career yeah i finally knew i could pay my mortgage for the year you know just like and i thought that that somehow in the back of my head without me even realizing it i thought that that would be the answer to everything and when it wasn't it fucking yes healed me it's this is but nobody wants to hear that also from somebody who but it's the most familiar thing i've ever heard it's like i could tell you so many stories it just made me so sad that I've just been fooled, you know, and even fooled by myself.

2:07:30Well, getting what you want is one of the saddest things that can happen to you. I mean, when you're happiest when, as a man, I'll speak for men because I am one, you have a clear mission. For now. For now. I mean, I could totally change. Oh, they'll change. If I get a better spot at the DMV. Tucker? It does change. There's something going on in the water, baby. And that's why I, if I could take a break to just promote my non-sponsors in. and these are threes, and I normally use sixes, but I appreciate the gesture, but I do think nicotine does keep your testosterone levels up. Really? I'd do one of those suppositories.

2:08:08I'm not doing a big one or anything, you know? I mean, maybe during the holidays I would. It's not like an expander. It's just a regular suppository. Okay, I would do something small, you know? Just pop a bead in or something, you know, if I'm going to be at the ballpark. I'd do probably just something, half a gram or whatever, milligrams, I don't know what it comes in. Three milligrams? Yeah, dude. But getting what you want, succeeding, that's when men fall apart. Yeah. But then also I think that there were more opportunities for success in the past, and there was more opportunities to feel value in the past.

2:08:41Like I remember when I was a kid, we used to get our name in the paper, and it made you feel so good, like your local baseball score, right? And like even if you lost, they fucking put your last name. Yeah, I get it. And then 0 for 4, right? Cried, even though put cried like in parentheses, and you're like, fuck yeah, dude. Like at least I'm on the stash. They caught you crying? Yeah. I mean, I had an appendectomy, right? And the guy who I think was closeted or whatever was our assistant coach or whatever. And he was screaming at me to get to third base. And literally my appendix had burst. Can you show me on the doll where this happened?

2:09:15Dude, I remember we had a dude bus. There's something here. I can feel it. Oh, bro. This guy's screaming at me to get to third base. My appendix burst. I'm laying in the fucking dirt, right? And that's a sign of our fucking country nowadays. They're like, get to fucking third base. You're like, I have sepsis. And nobody fucking cares, man. But they still put you in the stat sheet, you know, 0 for 4. Yeah, I think, oh, we had a dude who was touching players, and they just called him and they're like, look, you can't keep coaching if you're going to touch players. Touching him like in an affirming way?

2:09:53uh i think just extra affirming like you know two affirming like overhand you're affirming but once you turn the hand this way yeah yeah reach around not affirming yeah yeah you're doing that yeah from that's totally totally that's unaffirming dude um what do you think about where do we go does does bobby kennedy jr have any chance does a third party have any chance these days no a third party can affect the outcome for sure but the system is i mean this could change with time but the system it's it's so it's shown no sign of changing i could bore you for hours but you know ross pro ran in 92 in the 96 i remember that you know and he got clinton elected and you're the ears that was the campaign yeah fear the ears i never heard that i just made it up that was good thanks but he and he actually was was kind of impressive he was a real smart guy he was he was and he said a lot of things that turned out to be true but of course he was attacked as some kind of crazy person, but including by me, I should say.

2:10:52Damn, really? Yeah. I was used as a tool. Do you even notice you're a tool? When you're a tool like that for the - No, no, no. Wow. I was 20. I was in my early 20s, and I was writing. I was covering. First of all, people in their early 20s should not be covering anything other than like kids with appendectomies in baseball. Like that, right? Shouldn't be covering national politics in your 20s. Like, what do you know? Yeah. You don't know shit. Yeah. So you shouldn't be rendering judgment on other people. Funnel cake contests and stuff like that. 100%, 100%. You know, FFA events or whatever, but not politics.

2:11:25But anyway, I was, and I attacked him as a crazy person, and I was used by the person I was working for, who's still a public person and truly a dishonest person. But anyway, whatever. If it's Chuck Schumer, just say it. More dishonest than Chuck Schumer. Wow. Yeah. Anyway, I can't even get into it. But the point is he got 23 % or whatever. I think it was 23 that year in 90s. Ross Perot did. Oh, yeah. Wow. Dude. Because he was running basically on sort of a pre-Trump, more restrained, more academic, less Trump. But the idea was the same. Like manufacturing is dying and it's going to wreck the country.

2:12:06We need to make things. Stuff like that. Was it Bush, Perot, and Dukakis? No, who was that? No, Dukakis was 88. It was Bush, Perot, and Bill Clinton. Wow. Who was then the governor of Arkansas in 1992. It was the first race I covered. And Perot did really well, despite massive hostility from the media. Because, of course, they were protecting their bosses. The establishment. Exactly. That's exactly it. But I didn't perceive any of this. 18.9 % he got. What did he get? 18.9%. Oh, wait, 19%. I'm sorry, 19%. I'm embarrassed. Did he affect the outcome of that race? Oh, well, he won it for Clinton.

2:12:38I mean, Clinton won it, as you see on the page, at 43%. Absolutely. If Perot didn't win, do you think that Bush wins that? Of course, yeah. Absolutely. He took from Bush, yeah. Who is Kennedy taken from? What do you think? Trump. You think? Of course. There's no person who's thinking, hmm, I'm going to vote either for Joe Biden or Bobby Kennedy. I have some friends that are. No way. I swear. Really? I have some friends that have known Bobby. I mean, these are people that have known Bobby Kennedy for a long time. and but who are democrats who are like this is my guy the only reason you would vote for joe biden is because you believe there's safety in numbers you're voting for the party you're not obviously i'm not attacking biden but you're not voting for biden you're voting for the democratic party because you think when they have more power you're safer or richer or whatever that's the only reason and bobby kennedy man i mean i've never seen anybody get right to the core issues the effect in the country the way he has.

2:13:38And I don't agree with him on everything, but I mean, he names names. I mean, in a big way. Yeah, that's why I love him. I think, well, I just think he can fuck, he doesn't, I don't feel like he's in anybody's pocket. Do you feel like low key, there's some party that's like planted him in there? People say that, but that's crazy shit, I think. I mean, I feel like I know Bobby very well. And I am totally convinced just on a human level that he is an honest person. Me too. And I don't think that he would do that. and are there people in his orbit who would do that? I believe yes is the answer. But I don't think he knows about it, has anything to do with it.

2:14:15I think he's totally sincere. He's certainly not in anyone's pocket. I mean, the guy could be, his name is Bobby Kennedy. He's the son of - Oh, he could do whatever. He could do whatever. He could do whatever. And he has done. He's done a ton of great stuff with his life. He has. But I'm just saying it's very easy to be loved by everybody and to just, it's very easy to make money when everyone loves you. Bobby Kennedy could have an infinitely easier life than the one he's chosen. He's doing this because he sincerely believes it. Look at that, right? And he's under threat. I mean, I was with him on the street the other day, this week in Washington, and the security people around him were very nervous.

2:14:50He was not nervous at all, but they were. Anyway, the point is, I think Bobby's totally sincere, but he is giving a massive middle finger to the establishment, like almost as aggressively as I've ever seen anybody. Why can't we get him to a level? Because what percent does he have to get? Oh, I guess. I don't, we don't know because you don't know what has to win. We need to get that plurality. You know, we need to get more than the other two. And unfortunately, the system is set up where it's hard for a third party guy to get on all ballots. I mean, they've rigged the system against a third party challenge because they don't want that.

2:15:20Who has rigged the system? Both of the parties? Both of the parties. Yeah, of course. Of course they don't. I mean, once you have power, what's your number one goal? It's preserving it and preventing people from challenging you. You know, of course. When there's a revolution, what city should we meet up in? well, if there is a revolution, and I pray there isn't because they never end well, but if there is - But it'd be fucking fun, huh? Like the first 20 minutes when you actually storm the Bastille and free the prisoners or whatever, hang your homemade flag from the roof of the Capitol or whatever, like you - Burn the news networks is the first thing you would have to do.

2:15:55So that'd be the fun part of the revolution. I think that'd be, that would definitely be the fun part. But then it gets, then you have like show trials and famines and you have like all the downsides, but whatever, I'm not in charge. so if that happens I will be so deep in the woods surrounded by my dogs and I'll say it firearms um probably not going to hear it look let's just pretend one of your dogs is named firearms I actually have a dog called firearm yeah I have AK and 47 I got bow I got arrow I got whatever you know I got all my weapons in the woods with me um but yeah and you can even just text me and just let me know where you're going to be but I think about that sometimes But you're going to be in LA No I won't be I live in Nashville Oh you don't live in LA No I live in a place where If somebody is being weird You can shoot them Okay because if you're in LA You just get eaten Yeah Oh well here's a move You would do in LA You would get in a boat And go off the shore That would be the first move And let the other Having grown up on the Pacific Let me just say It's a little bigger Than the Chunkafunky River wherever you're from.

2:17:07Super big ocean. Yeah, and also fuck Ben and Jerry's while we're at it. I was going to say that, but go on. They're Marxists. Is it called Chunky Monkey? What's the name of your river? Chifuncta. But I love that, dude. That's the greatest name ever. But the Pacific goes on forever, and then you make it to Hawaii like six days later in your Boston whaler. Yeah, right. Well, if you've been lost at sea for six days, you deserve to show up in Hawaii, I think. It's easy to miss Hawaii, though, in the middle of the Pacific. Oh, fuck. You could, yeah, that's a long way to Thailand. Did you imagine they'd kick you up?

2:17:38They're like, you fuck, you were just close to Hawaii. You're like, what the fuck? I let my wife drive. No, the Pacific is not a good escape plan at all. Okay. No, because South you have, you know, Baja, Sonata. Right. Right? That's going to be a little chaotic. It always is. Yeah. From Los Angeles to what? The Arctic Circle? I mean, that's just like nothing. It's like Alaska. Like, there's kind of nowhere to go. yeah um but you get in the woods deep in there yeah you got a shot you got a shot and radley up in there with a couple of pups 100 you go full boot radley oh live in the hollow of a tree yeah that's it i love that me too man it sounds exciting but i think people start to think that way how and that's a sad it's interesting because it thought it just comes in my head sometimes i've thought about asking people i know i've thought about asking joe rogan where do we meet up if shit gets weird.

2:18:34And I never used to think that. I don't think Joe's going to leave his house, right? He might not, but I think everybody's got a little bit of a place. I think some people are thinking maybe it could be, I think you want to do mountainous, so I think you go Salt Lake or Denver. Broncos suck, so I don't know if I'd go there. Utah at least doesn't have a team. I don't know, but you start to think about that. You want to get up to sea level. You don't want nature beating you. So you don't want to drown out. you don't want to be in fucking Johnstown or something or Jones or whatever that place is.

2:19:05Johnstown or Jonestown. Or Jonestown. Both of them fluttered off. Both of them bad, bad, bad. Purple Kool-Aid, overflowing rivers. You don't want to go anywhere, I think is the truth. You don't want to go anywhere. You don't want to. You don't want to travel. If things go sideways, I don't think you want to be on the road. That's a good point. The two times I've been in places for brief periods where there really was no authority, What did that feel like, and where was it? One was at Katrina, right after the storm in New Orleans. Wow, you were down there, huh, bro? I was, and the other was in Baghdad in December of 2003, when it kind of, like, started to get, I felt, out of hand.

2:19:45And which one was more hectic, you think? Oh, Baghdad. But for the United States, I really, no one ever says this, I really feel like Katrina was, like, was almost unbelievable how chaotic it was. Oh, yeah. Oh, for real? I mean, yeah, I could bore you, but. Oh, I've been at a game when the Saints are fucking losing to the Falcons, and it gets fucking hectic enough. There is no one there to call, period. And then people start behaving in ways that are ridiculous. And I saw that with my own eyes. And dead people and people getting shot. Like, I saw it. I'm not guessing. And I was just like, this cannot be America.

2:20:20Like, I always thought if something bad happened, there would be, like, you just, like, call some special number, and, like, dad comes and restores order. No. No. At all. The police were looting. I saw it. Yeah. The police were looting during Katrina. So that's, anyway, whatever. My point is, I don't think you want to travel too much if you can help it. Yeah. You know, it's better to be in a place where you're just like, this is my place and I'm defending it with these firearms. But until things calm down, you know, until like electricity is restored after the MP attack or whatever. Yeah. Because that's what's going to happen.

2:20:53You'll be a nuclear attack? No, there's going to be, you know, it's pretty easy to take down a society that's digital. oh yeah once you unplug that and then when there's but that's a crazy feeling when you're like okay because your first thought is let me call somebody nope your phone isn't gonna work no calling no oil through the pipelines no food delivery god's gonna have the busiest afternoon no airlines no one on the roads dams fail like it all you know if you've if you've put everything online which because the people who run our country are so stupid they've actually done that you are so vulnerable that it's unbelievable and you're using chinese servers and switchers and like at that point you have no control you don't need to drop a nuke on anybody yeah yeah first of all if anybody's doing that shit do not nuke you don't need to yeah you don't need to let us at least enjoy the mystery of it for a little while too but people are so that doesn't mean just no door dash that means no anything and people one thing i've noticed in both the places No Stacey Dash either, huh?

2:21:56That bitch, you know? No, no Stacey Dash. You can't call any of your call girls from the interstate. Oh, thank God, dude. What if they start showing up? You're like - They will. They'll be seeking refuge at your place. Remember me? You tipped me for no service. Seeking refuge reinments. That was a tough play on words. That was a good one, though. Thank you, dude. But I think, yeah, but you wouldn't be able to use money anywhere. No. That's going to become a value. Like, it's just, it's weird we're having this conversation, but even as me listening to you talk, I am, my brain, I think, is recording this because it feels like it could be plausible.

2:22:33All you need is a couple of cops to be like, you know what? Fuck these people as well. I'm not going to fucking quit. I'm not going to quit blockading or attacking these people who I know are really struggling when I'm going home tonight and being one of them. 100%. And by the way, my kids are at home. And there's now, this happened in New Orleans during Katrina. is cops and I give them all the benefit of the doubt. You know, some of them, you do have some criminal cops down there, but you also have good guys too, you know? And the good guys are like, I'm sorry, I got a wife and kids at home. Like I'm not, and people are going nuts.

2:23:03The thing that I noticed was it took like zero time from when authority disappeared for people to get super afraid for the predators to come out and start preying on people and for everything just to fall apart, everything. And if you unplug this country, and by the way, once you decide you're going to go to war with Iran, as we've apparently the morons who run our country have decided, that is, I mean, a very likely outcome that they're going to do something like that. Really? Absolutely. Everyone's like, oh, they could send an ICBM or whatever. Why would they bother to throw a missile at the United States across the ocean when they could unplug the country?

2:23:46And then you have real casualties, mass casualties, and mass chaos, like true, true chaos. People are not prepared for this. They haven't thought it through. Our leaders have not prepared them for it at all. It's like, oh, it's on your iPhone. You don't have an iPhone, and there's no electricity, and there's no water, and there's no way to get anywhere. Come on, dude. And that could happen. That's not science fiction. That could happen soon, and we're not ready for it. And as you said, it's not a cohesive country. People are not like, oh, I'm going to help my neighbors. You don't know who your neighbors are.

2:24:18They may not speak the same language. Well, you're certainly not going to also help your government. So that's going to be the weird thing. When the government's like, people do this, you might, a lot of people are like, fuck you. I don't trust you. Totally. And people have not seen chaos. They don't know what chaos looks like. Yeah, we don't. Like when people imagine war, they imagine two lines against each other, lobbing artillery shells or rifle fire at each other. There's a certain order to that. And people can handle it. It's dangerous, but I can handle it. It makes sense to me. It's orderly.

2:24:50It's geometric. Chaos is completely different from that. Chaos is like you have no freaking idea what's happening, who's on your side, who's not, who's a threat, who isn't, where things are going. People are not designed for that. People can't handle chaos, and they go crazy. And I've only, as I said, had a taste of this a couple of times, but enough to learn. Chaos is the one thing you have to avoid, because that's when people become animals and really start behaving in ways that are inconceivable to civilized people. Oh, we're going to turn into middle monkeys real fast, dude. We're going to...

2:25:21Like in minutes. Yeah. Oh, yeah, bro. Dude, I was at a Dave & Buster's one time, right? I'm not even joking. Fucking power goes out, dude. Did you eat anyone? Bro, it was whack-a everyone in that bitch, dude. People were beating the... It was complete darkness. Right. And people... Yeah, you're fucking feeling around for whatever, you know, birthday cake or whatever you're... You don't even know what's going on. But that was created after Dave and Buster's. I know. You know? So what is your plans now? Like you're on Twitter. You're in a free space. Yes. As much as we have in today's society, you're in a free space for free speech.

2:25:59What else do you, is there like? We have some plans. I mean, some of them, I mean, if I'm being honest, include territorial expansion. We're going to invade Canada. Oh, dude, just knock. fuck no pillow fight take them in a second um no i mean i i just want to continue doing what we're doing which is just you know say that say things that can't be said in other places bring facts that maybe people haven't heard with the spirit of humility you know if you i'm having spent my whole life in washington most of it 35 years i'm very i know it's i can't believe but you know what I think a lot of people were glad that somebody was there.

2:26:41You know, it's nice to see people that get out of a space because then you're not as compromised, when people don't seem as compromised. It's totally right. No, it's totally true. But I didn't realize just how controlled my brain was by it when I was in it, because you don't, right? But anyway, but I've been around a lot of people who set out like with these grandiose plans. I'm going to change the world. Those people invariably, 100 % of the time, make the world worse. so like you know approach every task with the knowledge i have no real idea what i'm doing i don't know the long-term consequences of this i probably can't fix every problem i'm just going to try my best with humility you know to make things slightly better that's my goal make things slightly better but anyone who tells you if we pass this legislation we're gonna fix everything we're gonna fix health care forever said barack obama in 2010 as soon as he said that i was like Like, I don't even know much about healthcare.

2:27:37I'm hardly an expert. But I was like, the second you tell me you're going to fix something as complicated as, you know, one fifth of the entire US economy in one piece of legislation, fuck you. Yeah. Because you're lying, actually. Because that's impossible. And it turned out they made it worse. Of course. So I don't want to do that. Not that I even have the power to, but I just want to, you know, I just want to tell the truth and do it without being told not to. And I think that we can. and Tucker on X is your show yep right yep and do you guys have will you do you think would you ever do a show with a partner you think or anything like that I'm not going to pitch you an idea I'm just because that's usually the predecessor question or like somebody trying to pitch you an idea but do you think about that sort of thing like do you have well I mean I have a million people I would like to to work with I mean you know I like to interview people actually and a lot and I really try to be quiet while I interview them because I'm a compulsive talker, obviously.

2:28:36But I'd like a respite from that where I can just like listen. So I like to, we will have a lot of people on and we have a lot of recurring guests. But yeah, we're making a bunch of documentaries and doing stuff like that. So like a production company kind of more? Like are you expanding in that sense? Yep. Like what is that one? Ben Shapiro has one. Outkick is a company. Is that a company? Daily Wire? I don't know what Outkick is. I have a friend who works there. I think it was football, and then they... Okay. Does Jason still work there? Do you know Jason Whitlock? Yeah, I do know Jason Whitlock.

2:29:17I met him one time. So I love Jason Whitlock. He's a really neat guy. He seemed very friendly. I didn't get to talk to him much. He's a great guy and very deep. He's not a shallow person at all. Really? He's the kind of person when you're talking to him... Whitlock's... Oh, there he is right there. Whitlock will say things, and you're like, wait, what? I'm sorry, I just want to have a super shallow conversation. Like, how are you? I'm great, how are you? Because I'm shallow in some ways. And he doesn't think like that or talk like that. It's sort of like super heavy stuff out there. And it's cool.

2:29:46That'd be interesting. Sometimes I want to have deeper conversations with people, but I think I would get afraid to get into them or I don't know how to get into them without seeming like I'm being obtrusive or I don't know. With him, you don't have to worry because he does it. He's okay with it, yeah. Well, he just goes there. Immediately goes there. I like that about him. Do you ever get asked, and then we'll wrap up because I know you've been here for a while, and thanks for your time. I love it. Do you ever get asked to bring people over to Twitter? Like, is there like movement? Because I know Jon Stewart just had a show with Apple, right?

2:30:22Was that recently? Where he canceled. Yeah, he had a show with Apple. Jon Stewart. Jon Stewart. The guy from The Daily Show? From The Daily Show. what is he doing? John Stewart's show on Apple is ending. Mr. Stewart and, sorry, Apple are parting ways because of creative differences over the problem. I didn't even know he had a show on Apple, so it shows you what I know. People with the knowledge. But they had a disagreement about the episodes, the type of episodes he wanted to do. He wanted to do episodes on, can we move it down? Okay. According to a hot reporter, head of its decision to end, Apple approached Stewart directly and expressed its need for the host and his team to be aligned with the company's views on topics discussed rather than falling in line when Apple threatened to cancel the show, Stewart reportedly decided to walk.

2:31:09Stewart's intended discussions of artificial intelligence and China were a major concern for Apple. Why would they be concerned with him having episodes like that? I mean, we're assuming that's true. I hope it's true. That's a noble reason to leave. You know, if you think there's something really important that you want to cover and your boss says no, it's a good reason to quit. So I hope that that's right. Was there another time you almost quit before? Or you got laid off all the time. I mean, I didn't even know that show existed, so I don't think it was. Doing well. I don't think so. Yeah. And Stuart, obviously a talented guy.

2:31:39I knew him, you know. Yeah, he's kind of beloved. 25 years ago, yeah. I always thought he was talented. He definitely did what I think everyone does at some point, and it's important to come out of it and start to mistake yourself for like a messianic figure and just be like, no, I'm just a guy. Like, it's so important. And I've done that, so I've been there. Oh yeah, your ego is the first thing to grow. 100%. And it's very scary. You're like, dang, does God have some special reason for me? No, you will humiliate yourself. You will humiliate yourself and you'll destroy yourself. You will lose the respect of your wife and your friends if you don't pull back from that.

2:32:15Yeah. And just remember, I am an asshole. And if you don't believe that, next time you get out of the shower, walk in front of the mirror and look at yourself and be like, am I really impressive? No. No, not really. Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I saw it this morning. Did you? What'd you think? Right. Yeah. So yeah, right. Exactly. So like, it's important to do that. You know what I mean? That will keep you from thinking you're the Messiah. I don't think he has any mirrors in his house. Um, any other question that or anything you wanted to talk about? No. Okay. I know you share everything on your own show.

2:32:51I just share everything in general. Yeah. Yeah. I've enjoyed the hell out of it. Yeah, man. It's been a lot fun. I've had a great time. Yeah, me too. I appreciate it. You're the only person I've talked to in the last, well, probably ever, who one of my kids will be impressed by. They're not impressed at all. Yeah. They're impressed by you. I don't know why. You've obviously got some sort of weird magic power over younger people. And I don't know anything about that. But you don't abuse it. Well, no, that's the thing. Okay, good. I just - You're not going to start a children's crusade or anything.

2:33:20They came after our industry a couple of years ago. Oh, I didn't mean anything creepy. Okay, good. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I only know adult women. Oh, the old women like you? No, I just only know people that are legally adults. Well, of course. Okay, that's all I'm saying, dude. Because, yeah, immediately, like, you know, I remember the New York Times, like, hunted down half of our industry, you know? Oh, I noticed. I noticed. Yeah, just that vague stuff where it comes up. And I think there are a lot of creepy comedians, but not as many as there are in journalism. Yeah, there's some creatures in journalism.

2:33:52Oh. Dude, what happened? Remember the guy who jerked off in the Zoom meeting? and then they brought him back on for the interview. And he sat there and he's like, oh, you're going to cut, whack it off in a Zoom interview. I mean, it just shows you his name is Jeff Toobin. And, you know, not a stupid guy, actually. I know him and I have worked with him, but he's... Oh, yeah, dude. But his desire to be on television trumps everything else. Like if I said to you, you know, if that happened to you, you'd be like, you know what? I'm just kind of out. I'm going to do something. You know what I mean?

2:34:20I'll find something else. People know I've had issues with it. Right. Yeah. But you said you have them under control. You're not compulsive. No, I'm doing great. Just habitual, but not a problem. Yeah, just on a full moon. But imagine if you're Jeff Toobin to sit there with this female anchor on Fox and talk about that. It's like there's no shame that you won't bear. There's no shit you won't eat just to be on television. And I obviously had no respect for Jeff Toobin anyway because I know him. but I had even less after that. I mean, that was weird how God will give you your gifts. You don't fucking know what they're going to be wrapped in.

2:35:00It's like all he wanted to be was on camera. I know. And just like, there he is. You got to want the right things. You know what I mean? I think you got to get real specific with God, bro, because he's busy. I totally agree. And last thing I'll say is I think it's so important if you are publicly humiliated, and I have certainly been, and he was, of course, too, it can be a great thing. That's a great thing. Yeah. And you should treat it that way and be grateful for it. You know, that this is keeping me from becoming an even worse person than I might otherwise have been. There's nothing worse than a man who spent his entire adult life succeeding and never being humiliated.

2:35:38They become unbearable. They talk only about themselves. They can't bear to listen to you. Every time you talk, they're holding their breath until you stop so they can start up again. they become true narcissists and i just hope for jeff tobin who's really an asshole actually i'm just saying i don't know well i do i do so i just say he's like he's an asshole yeah he is but he may be less of one now yeah actually and yeah and i've certainly been an asshole a lot so i oh yeah judging you know but i do it so i i have high hopes for him yeah caught whacking off there's a massive upside potentially.

2:36:14Oh, yeah, dude. I mean, definitely. There's no way. Yeah, that guy definitely likes jerking. But yeah, anyway, Tucker Carlson, thanks so much, dude. The best. It was interesting, and I really appreciate your time. I really do. I did, and thank you for the zen. All right, yeah, you bet, brother. I might do one later. We'll see. Now I'm just floating on the breeze, and I feel I'm falling like these leaves. I must be cornerstone. Oh, but when I reach that ground I'll share this peace of mind I found I can feel it in my bones But it's gonna take