E475 Lean Christmas

28:46Yeah, what do we have here? this one says what's up with the 12 days of christmas right here let's hear it hey theo it's johnny b john and christmas is coming up and you know that song the 12 days of christmas for dude giving his his woman a bunch of stuff and he in that song he gives his woman 17 birds including 6 geese and I don't I don't think I don't think a woman wants 17 birds bro it's a euphemism dog it's a euphemism man that's what I'm saying baby they want that body bird homie that wiener

29:43that skeet swan baby you know what i'm talking about that fucking slurp warbler dog that's what they want that red build blast orio homie you feel me that skeet parakeet homie you know what i'm saying Suck me off. Suck me off. Suck me off. Suck me off. Suck me. Suck me. Suck me. Suck me off. Suck me off. That's what they talking about, baby. That bust mallard, homie. You feel me? That's what they, you know. So that's what you got to understand. It's a euphemism, man. This is a euphemism. They want that thing, baby. They want that yumin bird, dog. That nut neck body ostrich, baby. That bust mallard, homie.

30:41That's what they want. That's what they want. So you got to plan ahead there. All right, let's take another call. What up, Theo? This is Hunter. I'm just calling. I've got a bit of a dilemma right now. Do tell, brother. Onward. Recently, I was making out with this girl, and we was making out for probably one minute, and I just busted a nut right there. Oh, yeah. And I don't know what to do. So I was just calling to kind of get your guidance on that. You know, I'm just, just don't really know what to do. Oh, yeah, buddy. Well, look, that's just some nut, homie. That's all, you know, there's nothing.

31:41You're not a bad guy. You don't need to be scared or nothing. You're doing fine. um i think you might you know who knows if you if you were only making out you might have a damn your ph balance might be off or something you might have been you know be like a plus six or something you you know you might want to get your damn levels checked or something or at least have somebody do that on you while you look at a nudie mag or something you know because you know you want to make sure you're not just vibrating so much if you get around a you know a nipple that you're just uh you're just sprouting and creaming all the time for no reason you know just sprouting and creaming you know for just you know you don't want somebody to flip on a light switch in a distance and you fucking just just fucking put your own eye out with that with that bust homie that fucking bust but yeah you're doing fine buddy i think yeah you your levels might be up or down or something you might not have you might uh could have been something you ate you know if sometimes if i have some um what are they called like zesty little like a little um pieces it's like a green bean but it's fucking it's for violence you know it's like um uh peppers like a uh red peppers you know i'll shoot a robin off a fence you know if i if i start popping off after that but um you're probably gonna be fine buddy and it's okay i think god just wants to warn you says hey buddy you're gonna be really you know you're gonna be on the front lines for us because you like to shoot and just be careful so and second of all i'm proud of you man i'm proud of you for ejaculating you know too many men feel ashamed when they eat jack or whatever and you out here busting and creaming and creaming and busting over there with your lady and it's that time of year too it's winter dude if you can't if you ain't coming in the winter buddy what are you doing you know i don't think you know that's a winter sport buddy so you out there just uh just stirring your own eggs buddy do your shit daddy get out there and fucking get your shit boy bust out homie young killer but uh yeah brother i love you man and yeah you might just have that extra energy in you you ever see somebody they rub their feet on the carpet and then they come up and fucking zap you like that that might be you boy you might just have you might just your you ph balance might be a little high so we want to get that shit checked out, buddy.

34:45I have somebody take your pulse while you jerk off, you know, and see what happens to you, buddy. You're doing good. They'll love you, Daddy. Merry Christmas. Bells will be ringing. They say it's Christmas. They say it's Christmas. I love that. I love that season, man. And, um, what else? Uh, let's take a call that happens right here yo uh mr vaughn man on your recent podcast you were talking about uh you don't uh you're afraid to talk about certain topics because you don't know enough man you got to take that pressure off yourself man i don't know nothing i mean i I may even be cognitively deficient.

35:47I mean, I don't even know. You ain't got to know nothing, man. You just ask questions. You just have people on, ask questions. Do your solo episodes, just ask questions, man. You ain't got to know nothing. You're just throwing stuff out there, man. You're trying to figure it out like the rest of us. Don't worry about that, man. You just keep doing your thing. Don't be afraid. You mean a lot to a lot of people, man. you're making a big impact so the more courageous you can be the more people will follow that and that's what we need so thanks man thanks dude uh you know um you know i think

36:35yeah i don't know what i'm doing yeah yeah yeah thank you man yeah i don't know what i'm doing man i i know i'm trying but yeah i don't know what the fuck i'm doing

36:52yeah i'm just being i'm just just being a human i'm just trying my fucking best man you know most of the time anyway i don't know sometimes maybe i'm even not But yeah, I think I've just always felt so much pressure, man. I've always felt so much pressure to get it right. You better fucking get it right. You know?

37:17I've always felt like I wasn't,

37:23like I had to get it right.

37:28Or there was no value to me or to whatever. to whatever I was doing. It's like if it's not perfect,

37:39there was no value. And so I think that's still how I operate sometimes. Like I got to get everything perfectly.

37:50Yeah, and it's just impossible, man. And I'm tired of like, yeah.

37:57Thank you, man. Yeah, I just, I think I did need to hear something like that.

38:05you better get it right. That's what I would always kind of feel like to myself. You better get this right. That's the voice inside of me. It never had any patience. It never had any patience with me. The voice inside of me never had any patience with me.

38:31and then and you know what I don't have a lot of patience with myself either

38:39which is kind of both which

38:45I deserve to have some more patience with myself

38:58yeah, I deserve to have a little more patience with myself.

39:05Yeah, so thank you, man. I think I needed to hear that. I do feel like I can't do it all. I do feel like I don't know what I'm doing. I do feel like I'm trying my best. I do feel like sometimes I'm doing okay. I do feel like sometimes I'm not doing okay. I feel like...

39:27Yeah, I feel like I'm also never going to live up to the expectations that I've set for myself because I set unrealistic expectations.

39:38yeah and I think I set unrealistic expectations because

39:47because if I never meet them then I'll always be not good enough

40:00yeah yeah thanks for just making me think about questioning myself too, just asking questions. Yeah, there's nothing wrong with it if I don't know. There's nothing wrong with me if I'm not perfect. There's nothing wrong with me, you know? It's okay.

40:27Yeah, I've just always put so much pressure on myself to be perfect. I've always put so much pressure on myself to be perfect

40:41Man yeah shit makes me angry when I even think about it Like you better fucking be perfect Or you don't mean anything You know that's It's some old story in my head or something I'm not saying that right now to myself I'm saying I'm trying to just feel that story You know You better

41:04yeah like if I can be perfect I'll show them that I mean something

41:11yeah if I can just do things perfectly

41:16they'll see that I have value you know I think

41:22and then you never can do things perfectly it's impossible right and so then you're just I'm always setting myself up to not feel good enough because I make my expectations of myself unrealistic. And so I can never achieve them. And so I'm always just not enough for myself, you know?

41:49So thank you, bro. Thank you for that message. Yeah. Yeah, it's like, man, I got to get this right or I'm wasting everybody's time. That's how I feel a lot of times, too.

42:03I think that's where I'm just trying to say where some of that pressure feels like to me. It's like you're wasting everybody's time.

42:18Yeah, I wish you would. Yeah, I think that goes back to old stuff for me or whatever. You're wasting everybody's time. You better get this right. yeah look yeah i i i uh appreciate you just yeah saying that man i think sometimes i got to think about that stuff and i this year has been i think one thing it's been tough i haven't had enough time to fucking think or feel shit that i just haven't had enough time to feel anything man everything's just been so busy and i think the world's just so busy now you know i mean yesterday was one of the first times i went to a meeting at the end I went to eat with the guys at the meeting because I had some time.

42:59I was like, I don't have anything to do. Fuck, I fucking enjoyed that.

43:10Yeah, sometimes we're so damn busy we don't even fucking know. I don't even know myself. I'll get to the damn end of life and I'll sit there and be like, hey, who were you, buddy? Yeah. What'd you like to do? I'll finally start asking myself the question because I just jumped on the train. I just jumped on the zip line.

43:38Yeah, but thank you, man. Thank you for helping me think. Yeah, just ask myself questions, man. I used to love doing that, and I just, yeah, and it's just important. We got another call that came in here. Let me see what we can do. Hi, Theo. I was just wondering what the thoughts in your head sound like. Because mine sound like you. I ain't even going to lie. Me and my best friend and her dad were talking about it. And all of our thoughts sound like you. So I was just wondering what your thoughts in your head sound like. All right, bye. Jesus loves you. Oh, thank you there, little lady, little kitty cat.

44:19Jesus loves me. Thank you. I hope he does. And I hope he don't love me too much either. You know, some of these, they got these, you know, these, you know, some people like Jesus, they don't know what Jesus is doing. They just think he's being kind of zesty or whatever out there. But I don't know if I think that, you know, I just, I love him. And, yeah, I hope he loves me. But, yeah, if he shows up and he's a little too zesty, I just wonder you know if he's like you know the last supper was fucking you know I don't know I just yeah I love him just tell him I love him and yeah I don't know what the thoughts in my head I don't know my thoughts a lot of times I don't know what they sound like some of them are fucking pissed off and some of them aren't even wearing anything I'll tell you that and yeah some of my thoughts they just are like looking for me that's what i feel like my thoughts are looking for me and um i'm looking for them but we're just we can't do it so but yeah i love you thank you all right we got a call here all right so i got a question my name is big willie and uh i was wondering what's up big willy let's hear more wondering i'm trying to save up for a new dirt bike but i don't know how to get some money and so i'm just calling for that you know you know what i'm saying get any tips for me you know all right see you're trying to so thank you willy for the call um you're trying to save up for a new dirt bike but you don't know, you don't have any money, and you're calling, you're wondering how to get some money.

46:16Get a job. I think get a job, homie. That's what I would do. I'd get a fucking job, Willie. That's how they do it. You get a job. They give you some money. You get a dirt bike. You get into an accident on your dirt bike, and you are in intensive care for a long time. And that's how it works, man. That's how life works. So I think, yeah, you just got to stay on the path and fill out an application. Willie, praise God, baby. Good luck, bub. What do you call a person who speaks three languages? Trilingual, maybe? Someone who speaks two, that's bilingual. Someone who speaks one, American. Only 22 % of Americans speak a language other than English at home.

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50:03Onward. Man, I just celebrated nine months of sobriety from drugs and alcohol, man. My life's going great, you know? Let's go. It really, really is, man. I fell in love with a girl. Oh, come on. I don't know if she fell in love with me or not yet, but we're going to see. but I'm definitely in love with her let's go I don't know man I just wanted to say that man I'm thankful for you and your podcast man you bring a lot of light to a lot of people's lives gang baby that's it and Trevor got it baby nine months 36 semanas baby that's 36 weeks daddy Trevor got it, baby. Nine months. Let's go, T-Revver.

50:58And you got to say it, baby. Yes, say it. That's a part of this call I really adapted with right here. But I'm definitely in love with her. And I don't know, man. I just wanted to say that, man. And I'm thankful for you and your podcast. I just wanted to say that. That's the thing. I don't say things. I don't even speak my own damn joy sometimes. I don't even let myself hear my own joy. Yes. Say that. Say that, man. You got nine months. You found somebody you like. That's powerful, daddy. You hear that. You hear that, man. You hear that. man, I'm just, let me think about any other, man, today's episode has been just all over the place, guys.

52:00I've had to start and stop a bunch of times. It's just been a tough time for me to get like a good flow going. You know, I just feel kind of rattled and that's okay. I feel, you know, I don't know. It's okay. Everything's okay. It's okay. you know it's okay um it's been a fun year and and i'm excited to see what next year could be like and and i hope that this holiday season is something that you make nice for yourself you know i i I always realize that and always forget, too, that if I want the holidays or anything really to be special, I have to be a part of making it mean something. You know, I need to show up.

53:01I need to be activated and be a part of bringing the joy and not just expecting to take the joy or receive the joy. or I need to show up with something. It don't have to be an item or something. I mean, sometimes it can be, but if something's going to mean something, then it'll mean even more if I show up with the idea that I'm going to make this mean something. And that could be if you're going to take a ride with your child somewhere and do something nice with them or go shop, or if you're going to spend some time with your loved one and y 'all are going to go do something to just try and make a little extra effort to make it mean something.

53:58A lot of times in my life I've had opportunities to make things mean something and I'll choose to kind of just be a curmudgeon or be quiet or try not to have fun. Sometimes I get afraid to be a little bit more joyous.

54:23So I think that's something that I wish for this holiday season is that if you're like me sometimes when there's a chance to be, to joke or to have, sometimes I'll just get a, you know, I'll kind of shut down or I want to, you know, if somebody else asks me to do something, I won't want to do, you know, I only want to kind of do my ideas, you know, it's like, so I just hope that this holiday season, I'm going to try to be a little bit more like, Like if somebody else, you know, I'm going to just try to go with the flow

55:06and help the flow have a stronger current, you know, with my own attitude. That's really what I mean. I'm going to try that, you know, because it helps me too. It helps me when I get outside of myself a little bit, you know.

55:23Yeah, so I'm going to try that a little bit more this year. that's something that I'm going to look forward to do.

55:32Yeah. So instead of just continuing to ramble, I just, yeah, I want to try to show up a little bit more this Christmas and be a part of the joy a little bit more. And even if the game is on, do things that are engaging with people I care about. Take a walk with somebody or fucking tickle some little bitch. I don't care. do something that is, you know, I just want to try to contribute a little bit more this year if I can. That's one of my Christmas wishes for myself.

56:11Yeah. And that's it, dude. And that's really, really it, bro.

56:23Silverbell.

56:27silver bell it's Christmas time in the city

56:38yeah I don't know I got a bunch more things on my mind but I think I just I just I'm gonna I don't know I don't know I think I just I think I'm just gonna just sign off for the year man you know just sign off for the year we've done it's been it's been quite a year you know and just i'm glad we got to be alive this year together and um yeah yeah i really am um and that's all i got sorry to just keep dragging it i kind of it's kind of like the end of a date i feel like a little bit you don't know where you want it to you know like you're like just standing in the yard kind of talking but nobody kind of knows what's gonna happen or whatever um so that's a little bit how i feel but that's exciting because that's a little bit of energy that's like kind of fun you know and so that's a good way to close things out man um i want to let you know as always the hotline is 985-664-9503 um and yeah just thank you so much for being a part of my life and and uh for letting me be a part of your life um thank you to our producers uh zach and nick and ben and colin um for helping get this show done every year um every 52 times a year week, every week.

58:13And, yeah, thank you guys.

58:20And, yeah, I guess that's kind of it. I'm just fucking rambling. I don't know. I had an Impossible biscuit or something like seven hours ago, and then I've just been having some Celsius. so I'm basically I'm just like everybody else so that's it Merry Christmas Happy New Year's to you guys and yeah thank you for being a part of my life and letting me be a part of yours and I love you and I look forward to seeing you guys in the new year I'm upstairs be good to yourself baby gang

59:20Merry Christmas, baby.

59:26Reindeer's coming out to play. Santa Claus is packing the presents Making sure you've been behaving okay

59:41Merry Christmas, honey The snowman's dusting off his hat