E480 Tim Dillon

28:09Yeah. At some point in that, someone would go, man, this is not a good idea. We should do it another way. There's no way this works. It was impossible to do. It was unbelievable. It was tough. But for all that, he's like a remarkably well-adjusted guy. I agree. I feel like he is, I really feel like he's the best choice. Agreed. By the way, agreed. Yeah. As a human being that's going to, whether he's right or wrong about it, I would rather that someone cares and gives a fuck about whatever's going on. The guy cares that they're injecting, could be injecting trash into people. A hundred percent.

28:47Yeah. And the whole thing is like, what I like about him is that he like, he's on, he doesn't care. Right. He has nothing to lose. They've taken everything from him. They've taken everything from him. They took his father. He's out there just going, this is my truth. Right. There would be a lot more money in it if he just went along with the rest of the thing. Yeah, if he just replied to an email from Chuck Schumer. Right. He could be like, he'd have a lot easier time if he just went along with everybody else. But that's what I think is, so yeah, I agree. It's just that he's not beholding to anybody.

29:23No. He's not beholding to anybody. He could do kind of what he wants. Do you think there's any path? Because I don't even know if they'll let him on a lot of the ballots. Are they letting him? It's hard. It's hard. I think that there's rules that keep him off certain ballots. They want him to pay for his own thing. It's crazy, though. It's crazy, but they're trying to like, yeah, I mean, like, they're just trying to close ranks around Biden. They don't want. Yeah, they're really protecting Biden. A lot of these lawyers are. Because, by the way, you know, Biden has gotten to a point where it's almost a little fun now for the people around him because it is like a weekend at Bernie's.

29:58Yeah. It is kind of fun because he's like essentially just almost at the death's door. And they're all now like we're all in this together. Oh, he's like death dash. It's Death Dash. They're in it together now. So it's kind of like, we can't get out. It's kind of fun, like late nights, just propping them up, like playing with them like a puppet, and going like, we're just going to put them out on the debate stage, like giving them good drugs, injecting them. Like the injections that Biden gets before the first debate, it will be nothing you've ever heard. Teams of people. You ever see the scene in E.T.

30:31where they put a tent around and they won't let anyone near it? Before Biden walks on that debate stage, There's going to be an ET-like tent, and just people in hazmat suits are going to go in and just start injecting them with things. And then he's just going to walk out like a regular person. And then you're going to go, oh, there's shit we have no idea about. He's going to have a dip in in his cheek of children's hair. Yeah, he's going to just start boxing. He's going to come out. They're going to be like. They'll start throwing hands. They'll be like, there are drugs we've never heard. There's technology we've never heard of.

31:05There are drugs we've never heard. Oh, they're going to be pumping. They're going to be playing TI. They're going to be doing anything. They're going to be, like, they'll have a Ouija board channeling corn pop from the fucking swimming pool. They're going to be, can you imagine, like, doing debate prep with him? How nervous they're going to be? They're going to be sitting there, and they're going to be like, okay. And then they're going to call, like, the people in, like, the deep state and stuff. They're going to go, we got to really up the dose here. We're not, I mean, like, he's not responding to the regular stimuli.

31:36We need to really get in here with something really intense because he just left the room. We just asked him a question. He just walked out of the room. He doesn't know where he is. So we got to play around with a cocktail of things to just get him to a point where he stands at the podium. Put him on the AIDS meds. They're going to have him on everything you can be on. Dude, the crazy thing is they're going to have it so. He's going to be on AIDS meds. They'll have him on everything. Ketamine. Imagine the scripts they'll be practicing with him the week before. Oh, my God. It'll just be monologues from famous movies.

32:10Oh, my God. It's going to be things Tony Soprano said. They're like, if you forget, just give this speech that Tony Soprano gave to Anthony about World War II. If that's the closest you can get to this question, read this scene from The Sopranos where Tony talked about the importance of Italian-Americans during World War II. It's going to be, dude, he's going to be reading monologues from the movie Hoosiers whenever Gene Hackman tried to get Jimmy Shitwood to run the picket fence. It's going to be unbelievable. By the way, that first debate I will be watching, just like there's nothing more entertaining than that.

32:56It's the Super Bowl for someone like me to just watch that go down. It's old versus orange, baby. It's old versus orange, and it's just they're both wild. Like, Trump's going to be just popping off because now Trump's also four years older. He doesn't even care anymore. And who's more likely to even say the N-word now? It's different reasons. It's both of them. Because one could just bubble out of fucking Biden, or Trump could just fire one off that he earned back in the day. What if both presidential candidates said the N-word in a debate? Well, if they did at the same time, I think it's what we all want to hear.

33:25Yeah. Yeah, that's a good point. if they just both said it at the exact same time. Then it would just be a reset. Then the country, like at that point, if they, if Trump and Biden say the N-word at the same time in that debate, the Israelis and the Palestinians are just going to look at each other and start embracing. They'll hug because that's what we need, really. Oh, it's exactly what we need. Sure. The fact that, but if Bobby Kennedy Jr. was out there and got to debate either one of them, I think he would crush them. Bobby Kennedy Jr., I think, would absolutely, wreak havoc in a debate. He should be out there.

34:00Why can't he debate? He's an independent candidate, right? They just, these big parties try to keep everybody out because people try to get in there. Like, you know what I mean? Like, people try to get in there. Like, people just, like, I think Ben Glebe was trying to, like, run for president. So they just try to keep people out because it could get real wild. Yeah. You know, like, the third-party candidates could kind of get wild. Oh, definitely. That's true. You know, like, you'd have a bunch of, you'd have like one of the Real Housewives. You'd have an OnlyFans model. Jump on there. Some OnlyFans model would get out there.

34:35Teresa Guidesi. Yeah, for the Real Housewives, she'd get out there. You know, and so like, you'd just. Charleston White probably would be out there, hopefully. You're right. Get this bitch out there. Jeepers, huh? Wow, it looks like the fuck, it literally reminds me of, like, the Muppets went to fucking makeup. Yeah. But that's the problem. So, like, here's the thing. Like, as much as I don't think it's fair that they're keeping Bobby Kennedy out, they do need to keep certain people out. Right. Because it would just be a waste of time. Yeah, Glee brand in 2020. How did he do? I don't know. Yeah, how did he do?

35:12Did he do? I don't know. It's such a brave thing to do. Is it? That's a good question. What does brave mean? I don't know. I think it's brave if you get to a certain level. Right. But if most people don't know you did it, it's not that brave. Right, it's not, yeah. Yeah, it wasn't successful. It becomes brave. Like, Bobby Kennedy's brave. I mean, every single person that he knows, the government says died from a headache. Yeah, and people are shocked. Like, hey, why is this guy curious about these government-mandated medications? They're like, this guy should just trust his government. What's wrong with him?

35:49He won't trust his government. By the way, your aunt died. She was struck by lightning eight times in her car. Anyway, moving on. So, you know, I don't know, man. I'd like to maybe run for the governor of California, try to clean it up. Wow. Where would you start? We just had a homeless guy just threw a bird scooter through one of our producer's girlfriend's windows. I'm against that. Are you? So that's my first thing. No. I'm against it. It's getting crazy. Dude, there's a bunch of, and I told this story before, you know, some of the homeless or outdoorsmen or whatever, like new Native Americans, what some people are calling them.

36:29Yeah, that's interesting. How do the old Native Americans feel about that? Well, I don't think they should feel good about it. And I would love to see them rise up and attack. Yeah, I think that's probably, and just for YouTube, we want to be very careful. We're not going for that. Right, right. I would like to see them rise up and challenge. Challenge in an American Ninja Warrior way. day. We're going to be like, but my thing is I think with California, you just got to get the wine people up North and like Napa Valley, you got to get them involved because I think that's like where the power lies in the wine community because it's a lot of like rich white drunks.

37:05And that's like where all that, that big, that power is up there. And I would just try to get them to just kind of like focus. Right. Merlove. Yeah. You got to take the one because they're all just, that's a problem with this state is that they're all like by 3 p.m. they're hammered. One mer love. That could be your campaign. Right. One mer love. By 3 p.m. all these people are just drunk and you keep trying to explain to them, you're like, there's people throwing bird scooters and they're like, get out of here. They're just hammered and they're just drinking wine. They're eating cheese and they're living in this beautiful area and they're like, and you're telling them all these stories, you go, a woman gave birth in a, in a, in a El Pollo Loco and they're going, get out of here.

37:44And they're just getting happy. So I think we got to just focus them. Yeah. Like, I think they definitely are. It's definitely the rich looking down being like, oh, what are they up to today? They'll ask someone. That's right. They'll ask a door dasher. Hey, what are people doing down there? Yeah. They'll go, what's going on? And then like halfway through the answer, they check out. They close the door. They go, wait a minute. What? They go, yeah. You know, Vaughn supermarket. There was a guy fucking the meat. And they go, get out of here, man. I can't handle this. I'm just trying to get drunk at 4 p.m.

38:17Come on, brother. Can you see how rich I am? I'm just trying to get drunk enough to look my son in the eye. I'll have a conversation. See, I'm trying to get drunk enough to breastfeed my own child. It's a problem with how rich people are here in California. It's too rich. Well, here's one of the problems that's really true is people are so rich that they start to look at their time by the value of an hour. That's a great point. And they're like, if I spend six minutes talking to this DoorDash human, alleged human that God has said is human. That's right. Well, then that's$700 I'm losing. And also when you're like that level of rich, you can kind of just like, you shrug off an amazing amount of stuff.

38:58Yeah. Like they go, how bad is it really? You know? And then somebody go, they go, there's like 300 ,000 people on the street. And they go, is 300 ,000 a lot? Is that even Is that a lot? Because the world has like billions of people So we're talking about Only 300 ,000 people at home On the street? In India that would just be a natural afternoon Yeah they're like that's fine I don't think that's a problem And now things are getting so bad if you try to tell a rich person Not bad, it's getting like somebody who's really rich They act like you're making something up Like there was a guy last night I was driving on Santa Monica In West Hollywood And he was just running, darting because they dart across the street.

39:42What's risky for them? And they just dart across the street, and he had a skateboard with no wheels. He just had the board. Oh, yeah. And I didn't understand what that was. And he had it, and then he just, in the middle of my car, just stopped and looked at me, like hit me. Wow. And I was just like, I don't want to. I'm not trying to hit, you know? There's people looking for accidents. It's people that were just kind of like, I don't know what it was. He was like a deer in headlights. I was like, God. And I just swerved around him. But it's like people just mentally aren't together and they need help.

40:12Someone needs to help them. People are missing their wheels. They don't have their wheels. And someone needs to like step in there and help and like go like, hey, man, what's going on? But the only people that they're encountering for any sort of guidance are DoorDash people. It's DoorDash. But here's the thing, DoorDash people. And by the way, earlier on, I said you weren't human beings by guns. Forget that. Yeah, that was crazy. Because here's what I meant by that. We need you now more than ever. Amen. Because what you need to do is rise up. You are the therapists of our nation. You are the therapists of the homeless people.

40:45If there's somebody that is homeless and is having a problem on the corner, you need to put the ramen down. Put the ramen down and go address the problem. What's going on, sir? I am a DoorDash professional. Yes, I'm a licensed DoorDash. We're licensed food delivery service professional. Can I assist? Now, this person is going to be yelling and pointing at something that isn't there. Invisible, yeah. It's going to be pointing at something that in this dimension you cannot see. So you're just going to have to let him. Bear with him. Bear with him. It's not going to happen. First question, you go, are you on any medications right now?

41:30Have you taken any drugs? Yeah. You've got to ask that in a non-threatening way. 100 % and then you're going to need to you will be equipped with markers and paper you're going to need to get these people to draw a picture of what's happening of what's happening and then a separate picture to calm them down of their ancestors no for sure and here's the thing we need to give the homeless people service animals but service animals that are a little huskier they can take because it could get they need a lot of love some of the homeless people so we need to go out there with like maybe pot-bellied pigs, wild hogs.

42:07I mean, yeah. Something that has a little girth to it. Animals that got disqualified from the Iditarod. Yeah, not cute puppies. Nothing. We need chows. We need Asian animals that can handle this. Kind of tough. Slap them around. That'll be quiet in court. You need an animal that can fight it back. So that the homeless person learns to respect them. You need an animal that will be quiet in court. Yeah. You need an animal that lays down the law immediately with the homeless person and goes, I will be your emotional support thing, but if you touch me like that again, I'll kill you. I will choke you out and kill you.

42:39So sometimes those little kangaroo bears might be good. In Australia, the ones that are just - Yeah, the boxing ones? Yeah, the ones that are in the trees. Things like that where they just, you don't think of them as emotional support animals, but they have - But they know they can do it. They can do it, but they're also tough enough when the homeless person throws a fit. They're able to literally pull them down and lay on top of them. We need animals. gorillas. We need to give homeless people in LA silverback gorilla emotional support so that if they start going nuts outside of a Starbucks and we should normalize us.

43:16Normalize seeing a gorilla sitting on a homeless guy outside of a Starbucks and you just nod at that gorilla like, thank you, I know exactly what you're doing. SBGs, they're called, okay? They don't like to be referred to as their full name. But silverback gorillas, they need to be out there because Here's the problem. For a long time, Starbucks and some of these other big overlords, as I like to call them now. The corporate overlords. Overlords. They hired like Down syndrome workers. Which is nice. Which is great, but it's not, they don't have the level of jujitsu. No, they can't. That an SBG has.

43:54A Down syndrome worker, it's got to be a nice environment, like an upper middle class, nice. Like a Vineyard Vines. Like a Vineyard Vines environment, because then it's all nice. If somebody takes a little time, like there's a Down syndrome coffee shop in Georgetown in Washington, D.C., and the CIA people go in there and they're real nice to them. They're like, good day, thank you. And then they go wherever they're doing, do horrible things maybe. But the Down syndrome people, they're really sweet. Right. They're real sweet. But no, we do need some, because it can't be these social workers aren't equipped.

44:30They're not equipped anymore. And they don't want to do it. And they've also given up. A lot of them are just creating profiles, social profiles. A lot of social workers are also doing OnlyFans. So they get clients confused. You'll have a therapist log on to his Zoom and just start showing their butthole. And it's like, what is this? Because the last thing a homeless person wants to find out is like, can you imagine that? You're homeless. You've got the big cape. Yeah. And there's this guy in Tribeca where I spend some time sometimes has a big cape. Oh, I'm sure the government bought it for him.

44:59Yeah, he has like that big furry cape. Oh, yeah. And he's like kind of - They kind of bedazzle him, kind of like they do those Fabergé eggs. He's kind of like a Game of Thrones guy. And he's in the winter. He's kind of - It's not a bad look. It's kind of like a statue. But then like, you know, he's always kind of rapping to himself. He's always got his headphones. He's kind of doing that. It's back and forth. Yeah, exactly. And then his social worker comes over. He's like, hey, what's going on? And then if he's like, bitch, aren't you? And he points to her photo on OnlyFans. Immediately, she has no credibility.

45:26Yeah, aren't you chatty pussy 30? Right. You have no credibility. I'm watching you right now. Yeah. I'm watching you right now. Finger yourself. And then you come to me and you ask me what's wrong. I could ask you the same question. What is wrong? So that's where it's going to be. It's going to be homeless, only fans, social workers chatting with DoorDash professionals. Clinical DoorDash psychiatric professionals. And then we need highly trained SPGs. Yep. Highly trained. So that they know when it is and isn't appropriate to step in and calm a homeless person down by sitting on them outside of a Five Guys.

46:06Yeah, that's it too. And that is our - That's not a bad idea. That's our campaign, brother. It's not a horrible idea. What is the coffee shop with the Down Syndrome people? It's called Biddy and Bows, I believe. I don't want to go there. It's really nice. and I like to go back and forth with them in a way, in a nice way. There we go. Biddy and Bows, yeah. Human rights movement disguised as a coffee shop. It's nice, man. I go in there and I go, what's good today? Yeah. Do you like this? You know, and here's the thing, man. All Down syndrome people want to do is work for 11 or 12 hours a day. I know.

46:46They want to engage the people. They want to work. Well, they're also. And they want that human connection. Well, what's funny is they're more. And then there's people in there that don't have Down syndrome and they're very lazy. Oh, yeah. There's a lot of people in there. There's a lot of DSIs. It's like Down syndrome imposters. Yeah. Where there's people that will go in there literally put freckles on, right? This makes me nervous because everybody has Down syndrome. Not everybody. Okay, there's a few others. It's almost like... Somebody needs to... There's got to be one person. It's like Where's Waldo kind of.

47:16It is like Where's Waldo. But I think there are also lazy people. who consider themselves lobbyists in D.C. I love how if you're out of work in D.C., you're a lobbyist. And they will go in and they will put freckles on and they will. How lazy do you have to be to be in a coffee shop and look at a Down syndrome person and go, can you get that? Unbelievable. It's unbelievable. Like you're an employee and you go to somebody with Down syndrome and you go, by the way, I'm stepping out. I'm taking a break. What? I'm taking a break. You got this, right? All right. Like, it's got to be, you got to really check what your life's at.

47:55If you're going to somebody with Down syndrome and going, I got to take off tomorrow. Yeah. I can't be here. Can you handle this? It's just where, the fact that people are like, are we at the end of times? We are, we are, we have, Down syndrome people are happy. Yeah. They're working. Yeah. We, we can't even do that. No. Without crying online. Taking ketamine. Dying our hair. Taking one of our eyes out of our head. Some guy took his eye out of his head the other day for no reason. And that's crazy. Well, it's just, it's like. It's a lot. It's a lot. When you're taking your eye out. Yeah, and people are like, what the.

48:32Because by the way, no one cares. It's one of those things you do and no one cares. Yeah, you think it's going to have a big. You think it's going to be a big moment. Yeah. And it's nothing. I have two friends and their wives have, each of them has one eye. Oh, wow. Because one of them had a thing and another one had a thing. They just each don't have an eye. A lot of perverts. Everybody's perverted. Yeah. No one, no one, no one even. It's not even a big deal. Well, nobody cares anymore. No one cares anymore. Unless you're willing to really take your fucking limbs off. That's right. And put them in your own ass.

49:05Yeah. You got to do something with those limbs. You got to fucking. What just happened in the news? Wasn't there something we were looking at earlier, Nick? Oh, man arrested for faking heart attack in over 20 restaurants. I respect this. I respect this nowadays because at least this guy is even, it used to be this, you did a slip and fall in a Walmart or whatever. You got 25 ,000 and then you raised a son or whatever. But now at least this guy, a 50-year-old from Lithuania was recently arrested in Spain. at least he's willing to travel and see the world after allegedly faking heart attacks at several restaurants in order to avoid paying the bill.

49:44What's great about this to me is that this guy, you know, like is basically going out there and he knows one of them is going to be real. Yeah. Like he knows. Oh, he's playing. Because it's live by the sword, die by the sword. You know what I mean? Like it's the classic boy who cried wolf. Like he goes, one of these days, it's going to be real. But he's like, not today. Like he walks it off. There's only so many times you can try to teach your aortas to talk, and then finally they fucking yell. Because when you fake a heart attack, that's got to be a lot. Yeah. But your heart's like, hey, let's go.

50:21Maybe I should learn this. Right. So eventually it's just going to be a real one. But I love that this guy's willing to put in work. This is what you're going to have to do now to entertain the lords, the insurance lords. Yes. You're going to have to do it. What did the guy do? He just, oh, he fucking broke his leg once on a bad pothole? Fuck him. You're going to have to fake a lot of stuff. Yeah. This guy at least, he, yeah, he faked 20 heart attacks. Let's give him a couple thousand dollars, you know? And it's, we only care about a heart attack. That's how heartless we are. You have to be incapacitated.

50:54Yeah. You can't just go in and go, like, I don't have a lot of money. Yeah, I have hives or whatever. Nobody gives a fuck. No one cares. I have shingles. Yeah, I was molested. Yeah. Get fucked. No one cares. Get fucked. Can you imagine going into a place where I was molested and the waitress going, I was also molested. So what? Do you want the breadsticks? Because they're$8. They charge for bread. Go to a restaurant. They charge for bread and butter. They charge for bread and butter. You used to be able, as a homeless person, to go in, fake it out, get a little bread and butter in you. Maybe get a soup in.

51:25Yeah, lie to them like, oh, this came from home. Yeah. Yeah, just at the house, you know, looking at the remote or something. And lie. Times have changed. It is. It's interesting, man. What's going on in your world, I guess, dude? Well, I mean, you know, I'm just trying to, you know, trying to live out the dream of, you know, being grateful for being lucky enough to make people happy. Yeah. It almost feels... There's a lot to that where you got to kind of always remind yourself that you're doing a fun thing and a cool thing and you don't want to get caught up in any of the bullshit and the nonsense of it.

52:03Yeah. Yeah, it's kind of hard. Well, it's not hard, but I can see how it can happen. You almost, though, see so many celebrities and Hollywood is such an example of all of that. So I think as comedians these days, it seems like you have such a good example of the avenues not to go down. Yeah, just try to keep your head about you and get excited about what you're doing. A lot of it becomes about how big can it be? or how is there, your reps will call you, go, there's money here. Yeah. There's money, you know, and then you just got to be like, but am I happy with like the things I'm actually doing?

52:39Yeah. Am I putting stuff out that's funny? So that's like the hard part. Yeah, and who do you want, if there is somebody who really wanted to do like a television or film, you'd have to really want to do it because we're lucky enough to be able to go and perform. You'd have to really love it. There's something I really want to do. There's like one thing I've always wanted to do and I don't know how I'll do it or who I'll do it with. but it's just that one thing. Like I don't have 10 things. Yeah. And if I never get to do it, that's okay too, because I've been able to do a lot of other things, but there's just one idea.

53:08It could be a show. It could be movies. It's just one thing I've always wanted to do. And I just want to do that. And then I'd be done. You'd be good with that. I'd be good with that. So that might happen or it may not happen. And I'd also be good with it not happening. Cause I think at a certain point, you got to give it to God and go, if it doesn't happen, it doesn't happen. Yeah. Yeah. I think like David Spade and I wrote that film that maybe you would be in. I love the idea of that. That was super cool. So that would be cool. That'd be amazing. Getting to do something with Drewski, I think, would be neat.

53:32Amazing. He's so funny. But yeah, outside of that, I don't know if I have much ambition. Yeah. It would have to be something you really loved and you wanted to do it. You got to really love it because we have the ability to go out and make people happy that are right in front of us. I know. We've been so fortunate. I know. And a lot of people don't. Like, a lot of actors, you meet actors, and they're just waiting for people to call them. it used to be like actors would you know they'd be like happy now you talk to them they're like not happy they're like just kind of waiting around well everyone in Hollywood is having a I mean they're literally having a strike for their fucking for some earnings that's like the people that are trying to take their jobs away with AI the writing and even the the extra work imagine that you can't even be a fucking extra no they're just trying they want the celebrities we have now to be the last ones.

54:24They want Timothee Chalamet, who I like, and he says nice things about my comedy, apparently. He's a good man, but this twink can't be the last one. Is that Lil Mabu? It looks slightly like Lil Mabu. You know who Mabu is? Yeah. Dude, me too. He's fucking. Bro, he's fucking. I do some drill. Yeah? I started reading about drill. I tried to explain to Louis C.K. what drill rap was. Oh, it'd be hilarious to watch that. But to Chalamet, he can't be the last dude. Like, he can't be, he can't play Rosa Parks. You know what I mean? Yeah. He can't be the last actor we have. We need other people. So I think what Hollywood's doing right now, they're going like, look, Tom Hanks, give me a Margot Robbie, give me this, give me a Chalamet.

55:08Yeah, let's get a five, let's get them. They're it. This is it. We're gonna take their likeness, we're gonna put them in everything. We're gonna shut it down. We're gonna shut it down. I agree. That's how crazy they're getting. They're like, give me a Chalamet, give me a Margot Robbie give me a Michael P. Jordan give me this give me that give me whoever we got now we don't want anyone new and we're going to take their likeness and use it again so Chalamet will be like you'll be watching a movie and he'll just maybe be two or three of the characters he'll be in a subway commercial he'll be in he'll be crazy they'll just start putting him in everything he'll do Rose Parks have you heard about that it's like a drunk woman but she wouldn't leave the bus because she was drunk right and Timothee Chalamet is playing her yeah he'll be playing her Yeah, I just think that we've got to stop.

55:50Like, I like him a lot. I think he's a talented actor. Oh, unbelievable. But we can have him in everything. Right, it'll just be, yeah, I mean, Jacob B. Lordy was in Saltburn, and then he was also Elvis Presley. It's just not going to end. No, that's a different one. Huh? That's a different one. That's not the same guy? No, that's Austin Butler. Oh, no, but Priscilla, I'm sorry. Have you seen Priscilla? No, but he was in that, Lordy? Dude, Priscilla's a good movie. Yeah. I'm not all the way finished, so it might not be good. but so far it seems good. The first two thirds of it's good. I like Euphoria's great show.

56:24I haven't seen that yet. It's a great show. He was in that? He's in that. Oh, I didn't know that. I got to go down the Lordy rabbit hole. But it definitely... But I get it. He's one of them that's going to be in the... He made it in. He made it in. But it's getting fewer. It's getting far between. Or Tate McRae, I'm sure they will get... Yeah. But it's getting very few and far between. I agree that the door is shutting. The door is shutting. And they're like, we don't need... Any more. We don't need any more. We'll just take these guys. Michael B. Jordan. Yeah, just a few of these guys and then we'll...

56:54But then they're going to just start putting people in stuff that don't act. You know? They'll be like Travis Kelsey's famous. Right. Yeah, he can definitely play Count Dracula or whatever. They'll throw anybody in. You know what I mean? They might be just like, let's put them in. So I don't know. I don't know what's coming for this town. I don't know. Because some of the good actors have also, Daniel Day-Lewis just went off and he said, I'm not doing this, right? I think he lives in Ireland in like a castle or something. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, even some of the great, yeah, they're just done. Mel Gibson's done.

57:28Remember that singer Enya? Yeah. She had those songs that were like, Like that would be her song. She'd be like, She's done now. She just went, she went to a castle in Ireland. Look up her house. Look up Enya House, Ireland. You want to show you how to do it right? Wow. That's how to do it right. That's Kat Von Denya right there. You know what I mean? She just lives in a castle. She's, fuck it. She goes, I don't care about Malibu. I'm going to go live in a castle in Ireland. I don't want to have to hose down homeless people looking for a warm piece of bread outside of my gates. I don't want to have a meeting every morning with my DoorDash guards.

58:04Yeah, dude. I don't want to have to fucking peel the bird scooters out of my stepdaughter's windshields every morning. That's crazy that somebody threw a bird scooter at someone like that. What is it? Is it a mating call in certain communities? It is, I think. It actually is. Because to be honest with you, if I'm a homeless female and I see a male and he has the strength to take a bird scooter and put it through the windshield of a Civic, I go, that's someone who can protect me. Oh, I'm going to split my last pocket full of hummus with that guy. Immediately I go to him with the things I have, the vittles that I've collected throughout the day, the candy corn, the air fresheners from the car I got.

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1:02:40It's like, dude, there's nobody that doesn't know that story. Salt Burn was original. Salt Burn was great. But with Willy Wonka, here's the deal. It was a freak who liked chocolate. Everyone gets it. Yeah, and he liked, Also, let's just say it, children. There was something wrong in that. I'll say that. In that chocolate factory. And they've told this story now multiple different times. Right. And I'm creeped out every time I walk out of the theater. I go, something's not right. Well, you want a little chocolate? Like, what is this shit? You want a little chocolate? There's something. And Grandpa Joe, remember the grandparents?

1:03:18Yeah, this was good. The first one was good. It was good. The first one was good. and Sidney Poitier should have been in it though I think Sidney Poitier should have also been in it but like they're going too far well now it's just crazy remember they had the one with the Indian they were trying to be so pro-Indian one year and they put all the Indians in it that was the one with the Johnny Depp and they had every Indian with the Oompa Loompa and they did 7 ,000 instead of paying extra Indians they just they just put them in a math equation with the AI like they 3D printed Indians that's all they did that's all they did with the same little guy Can you imagine a meeting in Hollywood where they bring in one Indian guy?

1:03:54They go, you're going to play 7 ,000 Oompa Loompas, and we're sorry that we've kind of demeaned you. We're only going to pay you for one. But I do like, I've got to be honest, I do like this guy. Oh, this guy's amazing. I met him. This guy is kind of amazing. Deep Roy. I met him in a park once in Santa Monica. He is, let's be honest, the top one. Yeah, the best one. He is the Deep Roy, I think, is the best one. And he should have been Elvis. How do you fucking agree with you? How do you not make zoom in on this guy? Is that his wife? How is Deep Roy? Right there is fine. Yeah. How is... That's Elvis Presley.

1:04:28How is... That's Elvis Presley. How is this not Elvis? That is Elvis Presley. It just... That's why Hollywood, you're like, you're fucking up, man. What was he when he was in that little hat with Yoda? What is that? What was that? Oh, look at that. Now, this is... That's kind of beautiful. This is probably one of the Democrats... Who's putting this on him? Probably some Democrats. Lord. Can you see? Can we just scroll down a little? Is this like the Bohemian Grove? Can we scroll down? Oh, sorry. Can we scroll up a little? I just want to see who's putting that helmet on him. That's Nancy Pelosi.

1:05:01Yeah, probably. She's putting a Yoda mask on him. This is if you want to work in Hollywood. This is how it happens. This is the kind of sick shit they're into. But it's also, it's like the fact people have to go on strike to get fucking paid. It's crazy. When they're already out here, all the time you spend volunteering as actress to even get work and then you have to go on strike and be in a union um what was the thing that it said with deer deck a bunch of people went to um what was that uh i don't know did you see that no what happened about ridiculous is they changed the amount of episodes um they're always trying to really screw over the people in like they can't fight back yes like if you're like an extra and you were like in Batman and you were the hot dog guy you can't you can't afford the attorneys that are going to battle them you can't fight back so they're basically like we've just we've just AI'd you you're the hot dog guy and everything now and then it's like hell because then you're the famous hot dog guy people come back from the movie theater and they go that's my dad but then they have no money you have no way to contact him and he's living in the desert and it's terrible and like people just see him all the time and he's got But like, you know, he's got maybe diabetes or something.

1:06:21And he's just sitting there and they're going, you're the guy that always serves the hot dog to every superhero. He has no money, no way to even get home. He'll literally just sit there all day and put mustard on his finger. Yeah, just licking mustard in the middle of the desert, in the salt flats of the California Nevada desert, living there. And they go, this guy is a hot dog guy. And they act like he died. He doesn't even die. And they have like an in memoriam to him. Because they don't want to pay him anymore. They don't want to pay him. So they just say he died. Yeah, they get him off the bat.

1:06:50And he's screaming in a Greyhound bus station. He goes, I'm alive. You fuckers, I'm alive. And then he's on the Greyhound bus, and everybody's watching the movie. Like, that's him. Like, it's him. That's him. And he's on the way. And that's a great film, by the way. And then he's on the way to Hollywood, and then he has to kill the executives. That's kind of an interesting thing. Oh, yeah. That's not horrible. Or he has to damage the executives. We'll say that. He has to teach them a lesson. Because we've had a lot of things. I have a lot of issues. taken about a lot of things because you know there's a lot of things out there that just people misconstrued a hundred percent yeah um yeah they had uh but what was the issue with can you bring that article back up um yeah they storm ridiculous right right ridiculousness writers stormed rob jordick's office asking for a meeting but he was nowhere to be found so they straight up tried to get him yep on january 4th the writers of ridiculousness asked host and executive producer Rob Dyrdek for his support for a fair contract.

1:07:47Wow. Wow, they just want a fair contract. Apparently around 10 of the show's writers stormed Dyrdek's office but were turned away when they called and left messages no one answered. Because you know what it is? They looked at January 6th and they go, that got some results. Like, that woke people up a little bit. That got some heat. You know, that got some heat. You know, rightly or wrongly, it got some heat. So I think a lot of these writers were like, let's just storm his office right now. Yeah. And try to like. they asked host Deerdeck for support for a fair contract. Hi, my name is Ryan Connor.

1:08:16I am here. I know him. My fellow writers at Rob's office. He's a nice guy. Because we just wanted to ask him for his support in our efforts to get our first contract. He was a comic in New York City. Wow. Tried to go up.

1:08:30Oh, gosh, gosh. Sorry. Oh, no. That's okay. We called. We left a message. Nobody answered. Hi, this is the writers from Ridiculousness. We are here in the ground floor of the building. Just ask if we could talk to Rob. So it looks like they're trying to go there and get a hold of him and they can't? Is that the gist of it, Nick? That is. That's the gist. And you know that guy, Ryan Conner? Yeah, he was a nice guy. He was a comic in New York City. And I guess he moved out here, I guess became a writer. Wow. And what did that article say towards the end, Nick? Do you mind? Oh, it said, we are currently compensated at a rate well below our peers.

1:09:05Nope. well below our peers writing for WGA coverage shows like Ridiculousness. The next step is they're going to have to kidnap him. And they're going to call and they're going to go, we have him. Like we have Rob Dyrdek. And what do you want from him? Yeah. And I'm not saying that I condone that sort of thing. No, of course not. But I'm saying like the next step logically is to kidnap Rob Dyrdek. And they're going to go, hi. And he can do it like just the way he did it. He can be like, hey, this is Ryan Conner. And I just want to say we have Rob Dyrdek. We tried it the first way. We tried it your way.

1:09:38We went to the lobby. Remember that? It's like Terminator. He's in a box. He hits a box. Makes some sounds. It's me. They got me. Get by a skateboard. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He goes, we got Rob Dudek here. He's unharmed. I hit the box. Ah! Hear him? He's unarmed. But we are just trying to get a fair contract, so let's start the negotiation. Let's start it now. Let's just start it now because we have Rob at an undisclosed location. But that's the next logical step here. You have to kidnap Rob Dyrdek. You have to commandeer. You have to commandeer Rob Dyrdek. Yes. For a few days. Yes. For a few days to just get people awake.

1:10:22Awake. Because this doesn't, by the way, I see that. I see people in the lobby of the building. I go, all right. Yeah. So what? You know? But you've got to pay these people. You've got to pay them money. What does it say about the episodes, Nick? They used to do 30 in 2011 when they started, and now they're doing 336 a year, and they're not union. Wow. Well, they got to put them in a box. Yeah, I mean. Or they could do the old school move. You ever see Marshall Wooden and Soldiers? Uh-uh. Laurel and Hardy. Fat guy, thin guy. Brilliant. They nail themselves in a box. The old school move. Yeah. Troy.

1:11:02Troy. Rob Deardack. Exactly. Trojan horse. Trojan horse. Rob Deardack. They're like, he goes, oh, someone sent something, like the studio sent something nice to the house. They got a big box. It opens, and it's the whole writing staff. Yeah. Right there. There it is. Stan and Ollie. It's the whole writing staff, and then all of a sudden, but then they still, here's what's interesting about that. They actually still have to kidnap him. You're right. So it's like, forget the box. They still have to. But they still mean business. They still mean business. It's a way to get in the building. It's a way to get in the building, but they have to just say, hi, my name is Ryan Conner.

1:11:34I'm a writer at Ridiculousness and we have Rob. Yeah. We tried it your way. Yeah. And, but Rob is here and Rob is now very enthusiastic about this new contract. Aren't you Rob? Hit the cage. Rob, Rob has had a change of heart. He's actually leading the charge

1:11:58for this new contract. Right? Hit the cage. Yes, yes. Give them anything they want. We're not even asking for that, Rob, but thank you for saying that. I believe we have that quote. Yeah, that's great. You just heard. Give them anything they want. Please. I just want to leave here alive. He's being fed. We're taking care of him. No one's abusing him. I don't even think they pay people to go. I think they offered me to go on that show before, and they don't even pay you to go. It's not good if they're not paying. They don't even pay you to go be a guest on that show. Yeah. Like they say, oh, well, you get publicity out of it.

1:12:36That's what they always say about everything. We're paying you an exposure. Right. But yeah, these people are exposed. They don't have health care. That's the problem. They're exposed. They're in the elements. Yeah. You think writing 336 episodes of this show? What even is this show? They get like Snooki and someone else to... They get Snooki and then they commandeer some brother out there. Right. And, you know, it's usually like somebody that knocked up a Kardashian or something or at least came near one. And they get them to literally look at videos of people who are breaking their necks doing different stunts.

1:13:18Gotcha. And make fun of them. They say this. Right. Okay. Well, again, I... Chanel West Coast is on it. She's actually really funny. Yeah, she's really funny. I just, you know, I'm never a person for extremes, but I do believe in this rare instance, it just, bargaining power being what it is, it just, if you have them, it makes it a lot easier. Yeah, yeah, I agree. Just throwing it out. If you have them. If you have them and it, like, think about the movie Seven. Great movie Seven. Great movie. Now, the reason that everybody was so wound up in Seven is because there was a serial killer who just kept, like, leaving little notes, you know, communicating with the cops, making phone calls.

1:14:09Yeah, gossipy kind of guy. Gossipy kind of guy. But he didn't show up in the, you know, like, the office building. You know what I mean? What he was able to do is really capture people's attention by actually going, like, hey, I got the guy. I got the guy. So the reality is what they need to do is just, in a nice way, kidnap him. Yeah, I think commandeering is the term we like to use. That's correct. Commandeering someone. Commandeering someone for the purposes of a contract negotiation is great. Well, look, it's getting to that point. Yeah. I won't be – because at one point all it's going to take is the policeman to say, wait, I'm not on the side of this company.

1:14:51No, the police. I'm on the side of this person. Here's the brilliant thing about this. The police might help this. Yeah. The police actually. How is that? The police might. They might not look too hard for him. Right. They might not be looking too hard for him. Okay. Because the show, I believe, is celebrating accidents, right? Yeah. Celebrating just public lawlessness. Yeah. The cops aren't looking too hard for this guy. And plus, here's the thing. if they're not paying people for the clips that I'm using, I'm sure they're not. Right. And they're not paying guests to go on there. And I... It's probably like some guy on a stretcher and then just like a producer runs up to him and they go, do you mind if we use this on ridiculousness?

1:15:32And the guy's like... And they're like, great. That counts. Yeah. Well, you put a little of your saliva on this contract. Right. Yeah. And I remember them offering and they did not offer a payment on it. But then who's making all the money then? Probably the network. I mean, the show these days, it's only ridiculous. It's their own. What was the deal they had? And I'm all for people making money. Yeah, and I'm not trying to shit on Rob. Maybe it's just a misunderstanding, but. No, and maybe he's doing the right thing. I'm not. Right. We're not being negative. We're just saying, I'm zooming out.

1:16:07I'm zooming out that this is an overall. I don't even care who he is, who they are. I'm just talking about negotiations in general. Agreed. One person usually has all the leverage, is my point. And sometimes you have to bring a true article to the... What the writers did there, we had no imagination. Right. Which maybe means they shouldn't be getting paid. Maybe they shouldn't be getting paid. I got to be honest, I didn't see one funny thing happen. Yeah, that's a good point. There was not one funny thing those writers did. But sometimes you got to bring a real article to the negotiation table.

1:16:40What if they all dressed up like clowns? And they were like, oh, you're treating us like clowns, but bloody clowns. Or Big. Remember Big that passed away? Remember Rob and Big? What if they all dressed up like Big? And mummified Big like we came back from the grave. And Big would be ashamed of this. Big would be ashamed of the way we're being treated. Kind of like a Christmas story. Like a Christmas carol. R.I.P. Big too, man. So our thing is telling the writers to do blackface. Well, I'd go... Sure, but I'm just saying. At this point, you're desperate times. Affirmative action. desperate measures and I get it now a black writer you get they call Rob Dunduck they go listen to this the writers are mad they're in the lobby of the building here's where they fucked up Rob they're all in blackface you're off the hook you're actually fucked you don't have to pay any of them or Hollywood's so scared of everything we better pay these black writers right now that's right that's the truth that's a good point Hollywood would be like the last thing we want to do is upset the black community that's right they come in if I were black I would just sue everybody in Hollywood That's true.

1:17:43To be honest with you. That's a good point. To be honest with you. Just start suing every human being in Hollywood. Yeah, I just know that Rob has the biggest... He is... All that's on MTV is ridiculousness. I don't even know what MTV is anymore. I have no idea. But all that's on is ridiculousness. Well, good... Hey, like I said, everybody's got to do what they want to do in this world, you know? What else were we looking at, Nick? What else had you brought up? Oh, neighbors say party house in Beverly Hills is run by squatters. This is right up the same avenue we're talking about. Right. Can you, yeah, what do they say?

1:18:22Neighbors are fed up with what they're calling a problem house on the border of Beverly Hills and Bel Air. They say wild parties are being thrown there all the time by squatters. Police have been to the homes numerous times, but the homeowners, home ownership, rather, status is complicated. Eyewitness News reporter Josh Haskell has the details. Condoms and drug paraphernalia litter Beverly Grove place outside a party house located on the border of Beverly Hills in Belle Yeah, neighbors tell eyewitness news squatters have been living here for a few months throwing wild parties that they advertise and charge admission for The squatters even claimed they were raising money for the victims of the October 7th Hamas attack They're showing up at 2 and 3 in the morning with loud cars and motorcycles So it's Jewish squatters?

1:19:06That's good is it uh victims of the yeah i mean you guys see this part of it it's just a little aside police will do something the lapd has been to the home numerous times but the ownership status is complicated it was owned by disgraced dr mounir ueda who fled the united states and is reportedly living in lebanon after he was accused of playing a role in the murder of 21 year old model juliana Redding, who he had dated. Ueda has also been linked to an insurance fraud scheme. The company MDRCA Properties LLC is currently listed as the owner, but they filed for bankruptcy last year. The home is now for sale for four and a half million dollars.

1:19:46According to neighbors and their private investigator, the squatters who live here have their driver's licenses registered to this home, which has slowed the eviction process. They claim that I say I support Squatters I do because the reality of the situation Is that you You want people In one place And you want people to You know If this is a house That's owned by a guy who fled the country Because he murdered his girlfriend And by the way that's what I love about LA It just attracts good people You know what I mean just attracts like good salt of the earth. People are like, what a beautiful story about a doctor who killed.

1:20:32A 21-year-old. Some OnlyFans chick and then fled to Lebanon. Like that's, by the way, if you're a realtor in LA, you assume that's everyone you're showing a house to. You're like, you're going to live here for about five years, then you're going to kill a girl and go to Lebanon. So don't worry about the resale value. It's not a big deal. You're just here to kill one person. But if that's the case, I mean, why shouldn't squatters move into his house and enjoy it? Well, yeah, I think, look, if rich people are just going to hide. That's right, and kill people. And then you have got to get in there and spend time with them.

1:21:08Yeah. And a lot of rich people, yeah, they say they don't want you there. Right. But that's not true, buddy. No, he's in Lebanon. In their heart, too, a lot of rich people want other people to be around. They want you to be there at dinner. Yeah. They want you to live in the laundry room or wherever you see fit. Yeah. And at the end of the day, it's like if you're squatting in a property of a guy, like he has no authority to tell you what to do. He could call the house and be like, hey, that's my house. And all you have to say is, yeah, why aren't you here? That's it. Or are you on vacation? You killed a bitch and you fled to Lebanon.

1:21:44So, yeah, I'm going to swim in your pool. Yeah. I mean, no one has any moral authority in that situation. Well, you got to tell them you're saging the premises as well. I think you come in with a small. Oh, yeah. You go, we're trying to help you out. We got bleach. We're wiping everything down. We're helping you out. Dude, like we're helping you out. This is like don't tell mom the babysitter's dead.

1:22:05Oh, my God. You know what I mean? Like it's like we're throwing a huge party to cleanse the house of your murder. You're lucky that we're here for free, first of all. We're here for free. First of all, he's screaming from Lebanon. I go, first of all, let me just stop you there. You're welcome. Let's start with you're welcome, okay? Because we had a pool guy in here twice last week, okay? You're welcome. And yeah, we're having a few parties to raise money for the victims of the Hamas attack. Yeah, yeah. In your house. We're having a fundraiser. And this is where we're doing it. Look, we're raising money to make the next big mama's house, you know?

1:22:44We're trying to solve the Middle East. We're trying to raise money for the ridiculousness writers. We are doing all sorts of good. By the way, are the ridiculousness writers the ones in that house? Hopefully. Yeah, that's probably. Hopefully they're getting free rent. Because that's where they're plotting their whole thing. They're like, we're in this house. We're squatting in the house. And we're just trying to get Rob Dyrdek to pay us money so we can get apartments. So we don't have to live in this mansion of this murderer. Look, if there are extremely wealthy people out of town, and you consider them or people in your area consider them some lord or deviant or dark artist, I don't think there's anything wrong with spending time in their home.

1:23:24They have a pool. The pool didn't kill anyone. They're not even there. Did the terrorists kill someone? No. So you're basically going into a piece of real estate. I think real estate's blameless. I agree. I did not blame. I don't blame Brentwood for OJ's activities. I don't look at the house and go oh you look at this I mean they've demolished it now but like Epstein's townhouse didn't do anything wrong it's the people inside yeah and so I think if there's a house in a fancy area and you love it, get in there I think get in there and look for murderers in your area who fled because all it takes is two or three houses in a neighborhood for this to happen to you and then the property values all come down and we can all afford rents again.

1:24:14And by the way, if you live in a nice area, there are definitely a few murderers who have fled. Yeah, it's really just a matter of you doing the legwork online. 100%. Finding it. Yeah. Because it's always going to appear like, oh, nobody's been in that house for a while. I wonder why it is. And then you're going to find out, oh. Sometimes people's kids kill people and they check out. It's easy to figure out too. And a lot of times, I think, look, go through Halloween, see who doesn't have a trick-or-treating thing set up. That's a great point. And those are the first people's houses to stop in at and see what's going on.

1:24:50And eventually the government is— Go do it in my house. I'm just in Reno performing at a casino. I didn't kill anyone. So I just want to put that out there. I have a nice home. Don't come to my house because I am coming back in two days. I'm probably in Boston or something, just screaming at drunks. you think it's okay for people to get into more of the squatting and the commandeering it goes back it's a case by case because do you think so? I think it goes back to the old times where it's like when you showed up and you took some land I feel like that's the times we're getting back to and I think it's okay people can't afford rents how else do you expect people when one when seven families or whatever own half the city it's a great point I think the problem becomes like when you are squatting in a house of like I don't know somebody Like somebody who's disabled or something?

1:25:51Well no but maybe what's going on like it does I don't know you're envisioning what you're envisioning is like a family who's like down on their luck is like we're gonna squat in this house. Oh I'm also envisioning a couple of rager boys from freaking And that's fine. Like, here's the deal. I think what you're going to get, you're going to get a lot of like, you might get some, you might get some activity in that property. That's not great for the neighborhood. Oh, I think that's what I want. Okay. All right. Sure. As long as you know, what's going to go down. Yeah. As long as you know, what's going to happen.

1:26:21I want dude. It's not going to be like Christmas carols. They're doing fake Hamas, fake fundraisers. These people are doing Hamas reenactments. They've got like the pictures of the hostages. Hostages, they're just doing coke off them. I mean, oh my God. These are people, these are the kind of people we need. I think people doing puppet shows, people doing - I do think a little - Candlelit marriages. Pageantry, something fun. Renaissance fair types. Renaissance fair stuff. So that's my thing. It's like, if you are going to squat, make it an event that the community can enjoy to some degree. I agree.

1:27:00There should be a Punch and Judy show. for the kids, you know, something fun. Put on a show. Do a petting zoo. Yeah. Do something small, you know. My godson is Chinese. They always take him to petting zoo. Oh, get a Persian guy to just get on his knees and pet that dude for a couple bucks. Get a Persian guy. Get that actor, Deep Roy. Oh, yeah. Any of those people, like. Elvis. Yes, make it fun. Like, I just don't want it to be, because the squatting might just be its own way of, like, they might also just start gatekeeping it from the community. If you're squatting in a big mansion, you gotta let it be a community center I just think it's yeah that's true I agree that's all I'm saying I'm not saying don't squat I'm saying like you said do once a month you do a play you do a play you do something you do some Shakespeare you do Shakespeare in the park you do Raisin in the Sun you do a version of Raisin and everybody's gonna be hung over and you go wake up today we're doing Raisin in the Sun and people can be on book They don't have to memorize their lines.

1:28:04There's going to be people that are near overdose. You've got to get them off the floor, hand them a script, and they've got to stand out there for the local children and do Raisin in the Sun. Mr. Belvedere. Yeah, Mr. Belvedere. They've got to do something, you know, death of a salesman. Yeah, death of a salesman for sure. If you can't find one fucking dream catcher weaving lesbian to play Willie Loman. You got to get a bitch named Sky who's been on Molly, just the best Molly. Who's been to a lot of widespread panic shows. To play Willie Loman. So that at least, because then the cops won't even do anything.

1:28:51because they're just going to go, hey, man, they do plays for the community. And people write Yelp reviews and stuff, and they go, we really thought it was just a bunch of junkies partying, but my kid went there the other day, and we saw a beautiful production of Death of a Salesman with a shaman who was straight up a ayahuasca playing Willie Loman. And it was brilliant. Yeah, I think Bert, what was the guy's name in that, his son's name? I can't remember it. I don't know. That would have been great to remember. But yeah, we saw Biff and Harold. Yes, Biff and Harold. You're playing Biff. Like they're yelling at a guy.

1:29:29He's coming down the stairs. You're playing Biff today. You're doing Biff. He's like, all right. He's got the script. He's shaking. Going through the DTs. He's trying to fucking. He's just trying to do it. But that's my thing. Just make it a community center. Yes. Make it fun. Because here's what's going to happen too. The rich people, they're so rich now Eventually they're going to stop fighting you They're not even going to fly back into town No, it's going to look bad for them to fight you They're going to start talking about it in Aspen They're going to start going, we have one of our homes Yeah, it's an aquarium now One of our homes is being used by people putting their lives together And they're doing death of a salesman And they will love saying that They'll love saying that At a certain point, you have to understand the value of the media for yourself.

1:30:19That's right. It's all advertising. So you get people to say, hey, fuck these rich people. Right. Let these people live. Yeah. And that's all you need is two or three people saying that. And it's just a status symbol to go, we have so many homes, we don't even care. A few of them, we just have people squatting. They do petting zoos. Yeah. Few of our house, we got a house in Bel Air. It's a big petting zoo. Right. And it's run by this lesbian on Molly. And she just walks a bunch of kids through once a month to a petting zoo. They go, we like to give back to the community. Yeah. They go, we're not using it.

1:30:46We just got to meet Hercule Poirot the other day in character. Right. You know, we just met Hester. They just did a Hester Prynne meet and greet in the front yard. Yeah, it was brilliant. So why, you know, they go, listen, we're not going to get in the way of that. Yeah, they're doing 10 Little Indians at Christmas. That's right. We can't stop this. So if you walk in, if you walk in, if the cops walk into a squatter's house and there's just a bunch of junkies writhing on the floor, that's one thing. But if they walk in and those junkies start going, God rest ye merry gentlemen for that I eat this way.

1:31:21His brother Christ our Savior was born our good. The cops start singing. Yeah, the cops are in. Like, you know, you just have to do that. And that's Miracle on 34th Street. That's exactly right. It's a community production. That's the new Christmas movie that we pitch. Yeah. About a bunch of junkie squatters who team up with the rich landlords who are fleeing the country because they've killed their OnlyFans girlfriends to make a beautiful Christmas pageant for the community. And it's so like the whole pageant is so ridiculous. It's so crazy. It's contrived. And he's watching it from Lebanon. Yeah.

1:31:57It's got like Macaulay Culkin battling the fucking Ninja Turtles and shit in it. Oh, it's amazing. Just pop culture references. And it's absolutely beautiful. It's Iggy Azalea. It's Iggy Azalea's doing this. Playing fucking Cindy Lou Who. It's out of control. Yeah. But there's something beautiful about it. Something beautiful about it. What other news do we have going on? Nick, anything else great happening? Yeah, Jon Stewart is returning to The Daily Show only on Mondays, and also as an executive producer through the election cycle. Wow. They must have backed up the money truck. The money truck.

1:32:36You think so? Yeah. Because John also seems like a guy. He might want to do it. Right. He seems like a guy of character as well. I think he wants to do it, you know? Yeah. He wants to have a voice. It would be funny, though, if they let him do it Mondays and then Trump did it Tuesday. Yeah. You know what I mean? Just to kind of... Paramount makes the announcement. They're like, John Stewart's going to do it Mondays. Donald Trump will do it Fridays. Yeah. He will do the Daily Show Fridays. And Whitney's doing it on Wednesdays. Yeah, then Whitney's going to do it on Wednesday. Her kid's very cute.

1:33:05Is the kid cute? Cute kid, yeah. I haven't seen the kid. Yeah. He's like, he's a beautiful child. Well, she's got nice breasts. Is it a boy or girl, the kid? It's a boy with very nice breasts. Oh, wow. Okay, good. Yeah. And that shouldn't matter. I'm just saying. No, it doesn't matter at all. I wouldn't be shocked if the kid has great breasts one day. Yeah. The boy. um aww that's amazing the child has filed emancipation papers you can see him right there begging for a sip look at that he's in that's deep Roy isn't it that's not that's not a child that's deep Roy and Roy's getting look at her she's just beyond this is a new headshot this is a new headshot by the way deep Roy has pretended to be an infant is there gonna be a newspaper article Whitney Cummings' baby was actually deep ruined.

1:34:08I wouldn't be surprised. There's a lot of... Look, things are getting so tough out there, Tim. Little people are going undercover. They just had the Russian girl who faked with the family to be able to eat and survive. So they're just going to have to... And Whitney, because Whitney is... She's busy? She's busy. That's the thing with Whitney. She's a great mom and everything, but she's busy. She's got a lot going on, So she might not notice if her son is deep roid. She might not notice. She's got deep roid. Oh, you got a fucking young baby who's just in an Elvis outfit. She might like how quickly he's growing.

1:34:49And like, she might be like, my baby's so impressive. He's speaking. He's speaking Hindu. He's dressed like Elvis. Yeah, he's doing great. I've done a great job. Yeah, he's Deep Roy. He's doing fucking... And then they're going to say to her, they're going to go, at what moment Christmas did you realize that your son was actually Deep Roy? A squatter. There was a squatter in your home, Deep Roy. There's a squatter in your jeans. There was one time I was just looking at him at dinner. I was looking at him at dinner and he was telling stories about Johnny Depp from the Charlie and the Chocolate Factory movie.

1:35:34And she goes, I just looked at him in the light, hit him a certain way. I was like, are you deep-roid? Unbelievable, dude. Unreal. Unreal. Wow. We'll have a blue. Dude, but it's getting so bad. Little people are squatting as infants to eat to survive. That's how bad it is. People don't understand when it goes from grapes to grapes of wrath, man. People don't understand it, Tim. Because there are a lot of little people that can and should kind of try to pass as children. Oh, they had a guy. They get in a car on the way to Six Flags, try to be with the family. They had a guy in Indiana. If you get a chance, they looked at it.

1:36:15He was like 31, and he had primordial dwarfism, I think. Right. He went back to third grade, right? Yeah. Went to third grade, was doing pretty good. They said he wasn't even doing that good in it. Right. And I'm like, God. But their grade's not easy. That's when they start bringing out the big math textbooks. That's a good point. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, six-year-old orphan or con artist adult revisiting the strange. Oh, no, this was Natalia Grace. This was a male. But that was the Russian child. But they had a male who pretended.

1:36:52No, I would say dwarf impersonates child. Indiana. it's very it's a very interesting uh move and to me it's like something other states but and other states i feel like it's totally appropriate you know given the way things are um yeah oh but i'm just not shocked that this is but this guy went back to school and they one day the teacher saw him driving somewhere driving to an applebee's or something yeah and they that's how they bust like shouldn't you be doing your home right and then he was like no i'm actually it's a weird move to just want to go to school, but I guess he was getting fed and taken care of.

1:37:33Yeah, I think there's a lot of that. Well, it's free, then you're on the government's time. That's right. And you know what? It's like, he's like, let me try again. Yeah. Yeah, let me relive it. Like, everybody wants to kind of relive it. Oh, I'd love to go back. To me, it's like, that's also heartwarming that little people can kind of relive it. And I think if you are a little person and you do feel better around children, you should be able to go back to school. I think if you want to try it again, there's probably a lot of little people out there that go, I, like all of us, I want to run it back.

1:38:01What would you do if you ran it back, man? Oh, God, man, so much. Would you do something different, really? Well, were you outgoing in high school? Yeah, I was outgoing. I wouldn't have started cocaine at 13. Wow, that's early. That was early. Really? Yeah. It was too much. I did it for, like, until I was, like, in my early 20s, and then I cut it out. But I didn't do it, like, every day when I was 13, but, like, 13, I was smoking weed, you know, I was trying stuff, like, you track up lines of blow, and, like, you know, like not great. Like it was not good. LSD started then. I would have held off on that, you know?

1:38:33And then I would have tried to be, if I could be any archetype of person, I want it to be like a real hot, dumb person. If I could do it again, I would want to live in California and be one of those people. They're just really hot. And all they do is surf all day. Yeah. And they're just, they don't know. And like, they don't know. They're the people that will believe that. Like they, you come to them and tell them anything they believe in. They're like, oh, wow. They're like, what? Yeah. The word they always say is what. What? They go, what? What? What? What? But they have the best life in my estimation.

1:39:08So nice. They just sit on a beach, eat burritos, and they just go swimming. And then one day, the luckiest ones of them get eaten by a shark. Yeah. The luckiest ones. The ones that the gods love enough. The ones that the gods love enough are like, you can just, we'll take you now. Yeah. You know? That would be nice. I guess that's a romantic way to look at going back to high school I think just being like yeah all body just like you're sitting in class and you're so good looking people don't even care if you're learning they don't care if you're learning the teachers are kind of afraid of you you get a C plus really really hot people people just kind of let them do whatever they want just kind of let them do whatever they want if you're a really good looking person you don't even have to squat you can kind of just show up to someone's house they'll be like come on in bro Ian Somerhalder went to the high school I went to right he was the best looking guy for i think he won an award once it was like best looking guy for like 700 miles or whatever right and he was like as he would come to the first day of school right they would give him a's for the and he would leave and he would leave yeah he would not he would just they gave him he would literally get his report cards for the year yeah and he would he just looked at all the ladies just let them all know that he existed that he loved them And that was it.

1:40:24And then he would go back home. He moved out of town. He lives on a farm now. He has a farm with his wife and children. Good for him. He moved out of Hollywood anyway. Yeah. It's a good move. But God is growing up in the shadow of such beauty for men and women. Women would get their hair cut to look like him. Of course. Of course. People didn't know what to do. You had a lot of moms and stay-at-home moms and basically just people that didn't want to work. kind of, and they would all try and look like him. You had women dressing like him, wearing Abercrombie and Fitch, and the men's stuff. It was just...

1:40:59Yeah, when somebody's that good looking, you just, people try to be them without even knowing it. Yeah. Yeah. People were devastated if they didn't know him or if they didn't know somebody that knew him. Yeah. He was just that handsome. It's just... Yeah, that power. The effects of somebody that could be that good looking on a community. Yeah, of course. Because you're all just... Everybody else is ugly. Everybody else is just in comparison to him less. Yeah. And they feel it.

1:41:27What is this? Tech CEO dies after a freak accident on stage in front of crowd at company party. The company's president remains in critical condition. Did they just say he died? He just said he died. Oh, my God, dude. Yo, they don't get clickbait. They just want you in. the CEO died the president is in critical condition they were being lowered from a cage and the chains broke and they fell 15 feet in front of someone by the way no one feels bad for them well I mean a lot of people in that company were like dude come on they're lowering him from a cage what are we doing here it's just like if you want to be a lord you can't pretend to be a god on earth right you gotta stop A Chicago area tech CEO died after falling onto a stage at a packed company event in India last week.

1:42:23Vistex CEO Sanye Shah, 36, and company president Raju Datla, 52, were marking the company's Silver Jubilee celebration. What did it say happened? Both men were inside a suspended cage when the chain hole in the cage broke on one side, causing them both to fall onto the stage. at the time of the accident music was being played and Shah and Raju were waving to their staff while being lowered wow what music would you want being played while that happened do you think? it's a great question maybe Jai Ho from Slumdog Millionaire you know Jai Ho because it's kind of that fun you know Jai Ho nobody would even believe you did they'd be having so much fun that's the thing because it's like it would be such a crazy environment man.

1:43:13That it would like, even though you're dying, it's still, it's still kind of, you know, Joe. So that would be my personal choice. I love that dude. Tell me something, boy. I think I would go with that. Yeah. Bring it down. Yeah. Well, I mean, God bless, you know, it's sad. It's like, Oh, it's heartbreaking. You know, we're not laughing at it. It's just, it's one of those things where it's like, you're already the CEO. Right. Like, do you Do you need to be the Bret Hart of tech? Right. Do you need to, you know that scene in the beginning of Cats, or the end of Cats, I don't know if you've ever seen the show Cats, but they go up on this little UFO, there's a bunch of cats.

1:43:50Oh, do they really at the end? At the end, yeah, it's like a garbage can lid. There's just a bunch of cats. And they just rise because they're going to heaven, the cats, at the end. Abatable. Yeah, and for sure. But you don't need that level of theatrics when you're the CEO. You don't need that. You shouldn't be up there. The secretary should be up there. Yeah, it's like you're a CEO. These people, some of them want to kill you. Hire some squatters. Hire a squatter. That's when you go, thank you for coming. Now, Iggy Azalea. Ladies and gentlemen, let Iggy Azalea fall through the cage and die in front of your company.

1:44:29Do not die in front of your company. There's no reason for it. And if it's tech, you're supposed to be tech. You're supposed to be technologically advanced. You can't even put a fucking cage on a rope together. Like, what are you doing? Because that's not what they do. They do, like, that New Age shit. You should be a hologram. Yeah. You shouldn't be trying to do Ringling Brothers and Barclay Bailey Circus, where you, like, ride out on an elephant. They were probably like, it's India, like, we're going to get wild. Yeah. Lower cage. Jai-ho. Jai-ho. Yeah. That would have been a great idea. Do you do anything exorbitant like that?

1:45:02Do you do anything? Do you ever do any fancy stuff, Tim? like on stage? Not really. I just kind of walk out. Or just like parties and stuff. I've heard you throw some pretty wild parties. I've actually heard... I heard you have like a... Yeah. I heard like a crazy thing about parties that you throw. We had a Caitlyn Jenner one. Did you? Yeah. Well, you invited me to one of them. I invited you to all of them. You're not around. Caitlyn Jenner came, which was fun. No way she came. She came with her girlfriend who's a trans MAGA influencer. And they came and they were great because you're going around the parties to talk about how we need Donald Trump.

1:45:37And it was LA, so there were people that were just... But you can't say shit to Caitlyn because Caitlyn's like 6 '8". Caitlyn's a tough woman. She'll break your head if she wants to. Is she pretty cool? She's cool. She's like, picture this. I know this is going to blow everybody's minds. It's going to blow your mind right now. Oh, my mind's easily blown. Here's what I'll say about her. It's almost like she's a dad. Wow. You know what I mean? Oh, yeah. Like Danny Tanner or whatever. It's almost like I can almost imagine her as like a dad. It has like some dad energy. It's weird when you meet a mom who like has the vibes of like a dad.

1:46:19Like one of my aunts, because she drank with the uncles and never went to sleep. Yeah. They just called her Charlie. Oh, yeah. Even though that wasn't her name. It was Susan. But her nickname was Charlie. They go, get Charlie. Because she would drink every night until she fell down with the men. Caitlin has that vibe of like just a dad energy. Oh. Yeah. And I love her and I support her and I support. She was showing people pictures of her plane and she's just trying to live her life. That's the thing. She's just trying to live her life. Yeah, I would love to meet her. She seems like a cool lady.

1:46:51Support Trump from her plane and I respect all of it. That's her girlfriend? That's her girlfriend. Wow. Beautiful. And it's, you know, it was a Friendsgiving I had. Did Spade come too? Spade came. He didn't tell me. See, Spade's on a lot of these lists. People always say he's on that. Oh, that's her plane right there? That's her plane. So she's a pilot. She's a pilot.

1:47:19Wow, that's wild. So I like interesting people. Of course. This, to me, like a trans Trump-supporting Olympian pilot. I love that. That's a thing. That's like Tiger King. It's like our Tiger King. That's without question. Yeah. She is our tiger king. And she's free. She's already free. You know what I mean? She's already free. Dude, but imagine being, first of all, so good at being a man. You're like, fuck it. I'm so, I already did this so well. I'm going to be a woman as well. I'm going to go do this. And I'm going to be great at that. And get that, can you get that photo up of Caitlyn and Trump again?

1:47:59Because that explains. Her energy. but it explains our time maybe more than any other photo. Yeah. That is Caitlyn Jenner and Donald Trump engaged in what can only be called like a historic kind of like There's something. clasp of power. There's something in the orange, bro. I mean, that's what Lord of the Rings should have been. Should have been. That's the ring of power. She's giving him the ring of power. There you go right there. the epic handshake. Yeah, there it is. That's what I mean. The epic handshake. That's what it is. We need more blacks. That's what we need. Yes. Just overall. Oh, we agree.

1:48:42I absolutely agree. That's something that's got to happen. But I think Trump would do that if he's in office. Dude, but that's so wild to be to be. Yeah, I guess he just did so well at being a man. He's like, I want to be a woman. And now she's an amazing woman. And she's killing it as a woman. And has a beautiful girlfriend. And has a beautiful girlfriend and is killing it. And the girlfriend is a transvestite? The girlfriend is a trans Trump. Okay. She supports Trump heavily. And she's trans for Trump. Got it. Have you been to the... I was on Shane Gillis' podcast and Matt McCusker and Shane.

1:49:24How funny are those guys? The best. And they said they made a good point. We were talking about this and it's like, that's our strong MAGA is, you'll get it. It's like COVID. Matt was like, it's like COVID. You're going to get it. You can... Even the trans people will get it. You can dye your hair blue. You can go out in the street and stomp around. Eventually, one day, you're just going to get it. You'll be sitting at a McDonald's. You'll feel a scratchiness in your throat. And the next day, you'll wake up and you go, immigration is a problem. Did I just see David Spade yesterday? Yeah. And was David Smay fighting a homeless guy for a hash brown?

1:50:04You gotta go to the UFC fights. Do you like going? I'll go. I'll go. I'll go. I've never gone, but I'd love to go. I see all you guys go. I'll go. I like the spectacle of it. I dig it. I don't know a huge amount about the sport, but for sure. You would have so much stuff to talk about. I'd have a great time. You get to meet so many different people, and none of the representatives are there who ruin everything. That's right. It's just regular people. It's just cool people. Yeah. Yeah, for sure. Well, there's one. I forgot about that. That's one. Yeah, you're there a lot. That Spade took me too.

1:50:36That was fun. It's just been so fun to get to be around some of those universes. It's so fun. It's like not even, it's crazy how fun you guys seem to have. It's just been fun. I think that's one of the beautiful, the cool side effects of also that Joe Rogan had on the comedy community. Oh, huge. Was he brought both of those worlds together. Joe brought all of these different worlds together, science, fitness, nutrition, history, fighting, MMA, all that stuff, comedy. He really married all these different worlds. Yeah, people a lot of times would be like, yeah, Shane and I were just talking the other day.

1:51:13Shane Gillis and I were saying about, yeah, people were like, if he moved to Austin, was he just moving into Rogan's universe or whatever? but I just think people talk about it a lot like people say oh you're sucking Rogan's dick or whatever but he's just one of the most there's nobody like him no yeah and I don't think I think it's a it's one of the greatest clubs in the history of comedy I had some of my best sets there ever recently you know what I mean I go down there when I can it makes so much sense to be there we did a show it was me Shane Joe and Ron White was down there Brian Simpson and we did a show for like law enforcement cops that came it was just and we're making fun of them they loved it like it was just one of the most fun nights of comedy that you can have yeah and they protect the phones there's no phones so people can't just put stuff up and stuff like that that's interesting it's just run perfectly people can't take the phones out and start fucking around yeah Adam E gets down there he does a great job you can't Deep Roy can't sneak in.

1:52:19You can't turn around. You're like, it's Deep Roy out of nowhere. I have a squatter in my womb. I can't believe Whitney had a squatter in her womb. It's crazy that Deep Roy fooled her for a year. It's a solid year. Even though she saw him on his cell phone talking to other people in the backyard. She's like, I guess this is my six-year-old infant, my six-day-old infant. It's Deep Roy. You're like, I'm having kind of a busy flow this month that's Curry-esque. That had to be shocking when you have cumin in your - Miss Cummings, at what point did you realize your newborn son was deep, Roy? She's like, when he pronounced my last name as Cumans.

1:53:03I think that's probably when, dude, when they had Tandoori in my underpants. You didn't think it was strange that your four-month-old son was walking around the house on the phone with his agent? that occasionally he would wear a turban? You didn't find it strange that he first learned to walk on hot coals? You didn't think it was odd that he had a pet tiger? None of this was odd to you? What else did we have? Anything else? Yeah, what did I... Oh, what was that? Yeah, I can't believe that they said that about... Oh, and Cat Williams. What did you think about the Cat Williams fiasco? I didn't see the interview.

1:53:42I read it because I was on a plane. I read it I read the transcript because I couldn't you can't get service on a plane I just land and watch it no I just everyone was talking about I just read the transcript like it was a court case yeah he's the funniest guy to me like I his specials when I was growing up watching them oh yeah you know my friends would watch them and cry laughing like he's the funniest guy did you ever you ever met him never met him wow but like to me like his specials when I watch his specials it's the best thing ever Club Shake Shake Like, Shannon Sharpe's like the jacked Wendy Williams now, I feel like.

1:54:16For sure. No doubt, right? Where is Wendy? Well, like, we don't even know. Well, that's another people. That's another thing. A lot of the black community has said that she's been kind of, what's it called when you're commandeered, taken over, whatever? I don't know. Like, she's a - Compromised. Compromised, yeah. Like, she's a plant. Who planted her? I don't know. Right. That's the thing. Well, that's one thing Cat brought into the conversation was that a lot of folks, there's plants in the black community. That black people feel that way. Interesting. And I thought that was interesting. And now we said Rogan had unfunny comics, remember?

1:54:54Did you see that part? Yes, I saw that, yeah. I don't think that, I wouldn't take that. Well, I think Rogan, he's had so many comics that have been around him. He's had so many comics that I feel like, you know, I don't know. He probably wasn't talking about us. maybe. Or he could have been. Or he could have been. And if he was... It's nice to... It would have been you and me. It's nice to think about that he wasn't talking about us. Yeah, that's nice. You're right. What ego... No, it's just nice to imagine he was talking about someone else. Yeah, that's the best part. Because all of us, when we heard that, we're like, I'm sure he means someone else.

1:55:27Our friends, our other friends, immediately, as soon as that happened, we all went, yeah, he probably means someone else. He's talking about us. But I don't know, but we don't know. yeah I mean all it like could be anybody and also if you have so many comics come on your show over the years and comedy is so what's it called when everybody has something subjective yeah yeah yeah it's like there's so many types I'll watch and I'll watch a guy one night and I'll be like I didn't love it and I'll watch him another night and be like that was the best thing I've ever seen it goes both ways you can hate someone and love them and then love them and hate them or hate them because you love them or love them because you hate them there's like a weird cringe there's these bitches on TikTok who review restaurants in New York City and they have the most annoying voice and they go and they're like this steak fucks go cry about it or they'll be like this pasta was rubbery and overrated go cry about it I hate them but I can't stop watching you understand?

1:56:30it's like you just can't stop watching their things because it's just such an annoying pitch your voice. Yeah. And I imagine them every time they review something. Like, every time they're like, this ramen fucks. Like, I imagine... My pussy's horrible. Right. I imagine them getting thrown out of a window on the Central Park West and just getting impaled on the thing. But I still watch. Oh, yeah. I don't know. You know, maybe he was talking about others. Did you ever... Yeah, it's just interesting to think about. Yeah. Did you ever have parties? What was one? I heard, like, this crazy rumor that you would have parties where guys would have to bring a cake or like a nice dessert to the party.

1:57:10Is that a truth? No, never that. I just heard that. No, never that. That's great. I was kind of jealous of it. That's just kind of hilarious. Every party I've ever had, I have it catered. Oh, yeah? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because I would love that. I would never trust the people that we know to bring anything of value to my house. Why would I trust so that Bert Kreischer could bring an alcohol cake? He just brings a colostomy bag. Like, yeah, that's completely insane. That's a great idea. If I had a different circle of friends, it'd be a great idea. Everyone show up with like a little dessert. It'd be cool.

1:57:50But it would be fun. Like, I like that that's a rumor, and I want it to keep going. Because I'd like the rumor to be like, Tim Dillon sits on like a throne, and you have to go in and feed him. and Deep Roy is next to me and you have to give the dessert to Deep Roy. You can't look me in the eye. Deep Roy has to deal with me directly. He runs it up to your mouth. So Deep Roy just feeds it to me and then I go yes or no and if I say no, you have to leave. You have to take your whatever, your beignets and leave if I don't like it. And if you don't like it, they take whatever dessert you brought and put it on a really heavy tray.

1:58:24Yeah. Carry it, yeah. Heavy tray on the way out. And then Caitlyn Jenner comes in and she's like, you want something, baby? And then she just brings in and she just puts in an entire wedding cake. I love that. I got to meet Mel Gibson the other night. How was he, man? It was really interesting. It was at the Bobby. Bobby Kennedy had a birthday that I went to. So I went to his birthday and I got to talk with Mel Gibson for a while. I met him at a UFC fight. That's just one of the things that's crazy. Just meet the girls. Yeah, just meet people. People you'd never think to meet. And then, but yeah, it was just fascinating.

1:58:55I mean, The Patriots, one of my favorite movies ever. It's a great movie. So that was just, yeah, it was just fascinating. He's an interesting guy. He was cool. He had some funny stories. I like that Bobby Kennedy's just open to having different people there. Oh, yeah. There was all types of interesting folks over there. But that was kind of fascinating. John Stockton was there, the basketball player. Do you remember him? I remember. I don't remember. He played for the Utah Jazz. Yeah, of course. Yeah. He was like, that's him. And these people are all just there hanging out with Bobby Kennedy.

1:59:24Just in support. Yeah, friends of him. wow John you know the NBA logo was designed after him wasn't it Jerry West Jerry West I think that's what's cool about Robert Kennedy It's just he's got like an open Like you might turn around with him And like Sirhan Sirhan's there The guy who like killed his dad And Robert Kennedy's just like listen You know what I mean We're not gonna hold grudges Yeah he's willing to support the super pack He understands the vax is not great Like that would be great You just turn around and you're like Cheryl's like Sirhan's here And you know it was strange for Bobby but Sirhan is the big supporter of Bobby because he's really, Sirhan's really concerned with BlackRock buying up all the houses.

2:00:16So we leave the past in the past and Sirhan, Sirhan, get up here, you big nut. So that's what I would love to see. You big nut. That's what I would love to see. Just Cheryl and Bobby in a full-on embrace, Sirhan, Sirhan's in the middle of both of them. And Sirhan's got a Kennedy for president shirt with Mel Gibson. And she's like, he canvases for Bobby. He calls people. Hi, this is Sirhan Sirhan. Yes, the one, the same one. And I support Robert F. Kennedy Jr. Because I think the medical industrial complex should be transparent. And then like somebody on the other end of the phone, South Carolina is like, what the hell is going on in this country?

2:01:03And then somebody would literally say, they'd be like, I wasn't sure about Sirhan. I wasn't sure about Bobby Kennedy, but Sirhan Sirhan knocked on my door the other day. And if he supports him. And if he supports him, he really convinced me that this is the way to go. This is the right way to go. Yeah, dude. Bro, you're so funny, man. God, I haven't laughed this much. I don't think - We have a great time. It's a great podcast. In my whole life, dude. Well, that might be an overstatement, but this is fun. Well, I do. If we had Deep Roy to come in and finish it out, like Whitney and Deep Roy, to come in here, she would do it.

2:01:36We could text her. She'd leave her baby in her house. She'd leave it in her house. They'd be like, we got a great bid. You just come in. We got Deep Roy. Well, her baby's also charming a snake. So the baby is going to be fine. The baby's fine. Yeah. The baby's fine. Yeah, the baby's going to be fine. Yeah. But yeah, I just wonder, do you think there's any way that Bobby Kennedy could win? Well, Trump could go get arrested. I don't think it'll happen. I think a lot of the charges are bullshit. No, all the charges are really trumped up. They're all bullshit. They're all like he inflated the price of a toilet he bought in Morocco.

2:02:07It's the most ridiculous charges. But some of those, he also does have a - They're like, he said it was marble. It's actually granite. It's like, guys, remember you told us that he was like the Russian president? And they couldn't prove any of that. And now they're like, he said it was quartzite. It's just quartz. That's a man-made stone. You're like, guys, you went left on this. This didn't really work out for anybody. I wish he would have started. I would believe that he fucking, that he shicks at a couple of construction companies. A hundred percent. Countertops. A hundred percent. A hundred percent.

2:02:43Yeah, but he could have some complications with that. But Biden could pass away. Biden has passed away. Biden, we know what they're going to try to do to him. Oh, they're going to have him geppettoed up. They're going to have a fucking. Pfizer is going to get involved. They're going to get involved. And so you have this interesting scenario where you have one candidate who's maybe in jail, and the other candidate is on like an experimental new cocktail of drugs. We don't know the side effects. We have no idea what's about to happen. I mean, they could be roller skating, racism. They could levitate.

2:03:19Chewing on your tongue. We don't know what's going to happen. We don't know. And the scientists, by the way, make no mistake. Scientists at Pfizer right now are sitting there with members of the Biden campaign and going, here's the bad news. We don't know what happens after. We know it gives him energy. We know it makes him clear-headed. We know it gives him the ability to speak. What can his valves handle? What PSI can his aortas handle right now? We don't know what else happens. So we don't have an option. We're just shooting him up with this and putting him on stage. Do they have to debate each other?

2:03:55Does that have to happen? I imagine that it will. And they, I mean, you know, when it turns out, you got somebody smarter than me would know. It's happened every single election. It'd be weird if it didn't happen. It'd be very weird. Wow. It would be very weird. And what, and. But anyone could throw their hat in at the last minute. Oh, you like Bloomberg tried to do, remember that? Little Mabu. Anyone could come in and just, it's yours now. I mean, somebody could try. Bloomberg got shellacked Gavin Newsom might try even though he's hating he's like on a vineyard he's fucking he's on a vineyard somewhere just wine drunk telling people he's the president just watching home cameras making sure there's no squatters Michelle Obama could get involved I don't think she would win though she I think had some heat but it's kind of like died down well if Trump say if Trump went to a jail or something happened they made it so he couldn't run and if Biden is too old to run Kennedy if he could get in could actually fucking win that's the weirdest part dude a thousand percent but you know because i would just love to see somebody get in who fucking thinks hates all these monopolies and all of that kind of stuff like dude everything's starting to be the same like i live in nashville and like the main they had this quaint street there called 12 south right it was cute nice fun you go take a date there you go on a walk all the shops were like localized for the most part.

2:05:19And now they've just taken that and they're putting in like a rag and bone. It's just horrible, bro. It's all the same corporation. And it's all the same. In New York City they have Capital One cafes. Wow. They have people come to the bank. They're not even pretending anymore. They just want to have a latte in the bank. They go get a latte and sit down. We talk about what you owe. Let's talk about how in trouble you are. Come get a latte. Yeah. You know what that conversation is? That woman's telling her, we're going to shut it off. We'll shut it off. We'll shut the lights off. You have a young mixed lady who's applying for a, probably wants to open up a Dippin' Dots or something at the mall with her husband.

2:06:00No, somebody probably went in there and was like, I want a small business loan. And then the older woman goes, let me tell you something right now. Look at me. This coffee is the last thing you're going to buy. We're shutting it off. We're shutting it down. That's where they have Capital One Cafe so that you could come in there and drink coffee and be told you're done. They're taking you out. Have a free coffee. No, every consultation is like this guy telling her, he goes, I know it's all fun and games now, but what's going to happen is we're going to raise the rates on all your cards, your payments are going to go up, and we're going to begin to start putting liens and judgments on you.

2:06:37On your family, even. On your family, you won't be able to get a job. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You won't be able to get a job. We're going to repossess your fucking uncle. And then they give you, like, they take one of those, like the pliers, little tweezers, they just give you a little scone. Wow. Just put a scone on the plate. There you go. You're done. They just look at you and go, you're done. They go, see this? She goes, see this? That's all the mortgage payments that were frozen for you during COVID. Watch what I do to my computer. Watch how I make them triple. And this couple has no idea what's about to happen.

2:07:08She goes, you see that? We froze your mortgage. That's 18 payments. That's 18 payments that you owe. Now we're going to add on the back interest. Now watch what you owe. For$300, though, if you let us live stream while you realize that your mortgage payments are going to be, that it's all frozen. Yeah. If you let us live stream, that will take$300 off of the cost of your mortgage. I mean, this guy's like, he's like, so here's where you went into the hospital for the seizure. That's$52 ,000. You see? Now, because you put that on a credit card, you are not in what's called medical debt. You are in debt to us, and we will take it all.

2:07:48What about this Chuck Schumer guy, dude? Everybody I hear about, he just has the whole Democratic Party. He's just a Wall Street guy. But it's like health care. He just has it all fucking. Well, Chuck Schumer is one of those guys who like. It's sick. He's like the Geppetto of dirty health care. Yeah, because he's like beholden to Wall Street. and the big companies. It's just sick, man. They're all old, dude. All these boomers need to step aside. Our country's being run by like 80-year-old boomers. Well, there's no way. Everything this guy's doing, it just seems like - It's all crime. It's all crime.

2:08:25That's what I feel like. It's all crime, dude. We're being run. It's all Batman villains. Yes. It's all Batman villains. It's like Dick Tracy villain. Remember that? Like the prune? Lips. Lips manless. Yeah, and the prune. Yeah. It's like that's who, this is the prune. There's Eyebrows Harper right there. Yeah, and they're like out here telling us, can we watch whatever he's saying?

2:08:48This woman has a crazy jaw. This is about Chuck Schumer. She's got like a Matt Rife jaw. Yeah, she looks like. This woman is carved. She looks like Schwarzenegger's ex-wife, Shriver maybe? Yeah, Maria Shriver, she does have a little bit of that. She's got a very strong jaw. The nicotine pouches pose a danger to teens as they use them as an alternative to e-cigarettes. Pouch packed with problems. High levels of nicotine. So today I'm delivering a warning to parents. Fuck this guy. Now he's selling, you know he's selling vapes in the streets. Right after this press conference, he's got a garbage bag full of vapes.

2:09:28And he takes them out back and just sells them to kids. Oh yeah. By the way, he'll get like the vape people will call him and donate a lot of money to him. And like the next week he'll be out there. He'll be like, you know, kids are very stressed out. And is it the worst thing in the world that they go out and take a puff? A couple puffs off of Pineapple Father. They have the saddest names. Yeah, right. Because it's the worst thing in the world to relieve a little stress. Yeah, Watermelon Hope. You didn't get asked to your eighth grade dance. You want to go out there and just blow a little air.

2:10:00You want to suck a little cranberry prom pussy? Yeah, get a little peach smoke. Oh, this guy is, well, this right here, this is about the, are they saying they're outlawing Zins? We're at a New York net? Yeah, they want the FDA to look into it, saying they're trying to sell the children. Dude, fuck this guy. This guy, there's no, nothing about this guy, to me, seems trustworthy at all, bro. No, he's not, he doesn't care. He doesn't. You're right, he's selling something on the back end. He has some back end deal. He's like, people are coming to him going like, this Zinn stuff's fucking up our stuff.

2:10:35He's like, okay, he doesn't care. Chuck Schumer doesn't care if kids are addicted to drugs. No. He does not care at all. Nope. It's just, I mean, but he's the one I think that has a lot to do with the monopolizing of the insurance fraud. Well, you know, that's the thing, man. He's just basically like, hey, I'm here to tell you that I'm for people. And he's been in there forever. You're not supposed to be there forever. So dirty. That guy's been in there forever. Do you know how dirty you have to be to be in there forever? He's forever in there. Yeah. Get him out, man. That's the number one rule.

2:11:09Wall Street money reigns on Schumer. Yeah. $11 million on the Senate since the beginning of the year. This was 2009. This guy's been doing this forever. Wow. Imagine how much money this fucking dirtball has been making. This fucking guy has been doing this forever. If you have anything to do with this dude, to me, feels like fucking bad news, bro. And you know his niece is a comedian. Is she really? Ali Wong. Oh, I didn't even know that. And she's in beef, too. I'm obviously joking. It's not Ali Wong. It's the one with the same name. Yeah. But it's not her fault. No. It's no one's fault. Well, what he's doing is his fault.

2:11:49It's his fault. But if he gave a fuck about health. Unless she's selling vapes. Right. That'd be crazy, right? Yeah. If she's in the Zin business. Women's lib puffers. She's like selling Zin and vapes to women who've been like victims of sexual assault. She's like, they should have the right to puff. They should have the right to Zin. Puff the pain away. Yeah. Healthy sex is the flavor of it. Yeah. Healthy sex kiwi. But no, dude, if that guy thinks he's going to take Zins away, bro, he's out of his. Imagine looking at the world and going, the biggest problem is Zins. Do you know how crazy you have to be?

2:12:29It's like Gavin Newsom. They were trying to ban. I forget what they were trying to ban, but they were all going nuts about something in California. I'm like, there's people straight up on a 101 running across it with their dog in their hands. Yeah, here we go. They're banning these food chemicals, which is good. That's all nice, right? California Governor Gavin Newsom has signed a landmark law aimed at banning red dye number three and other potentially harmful food additives and consumer goods. It's like, okay, that's great. But also, like, how about we address some of the other issues? Right.

2:13:04Like, yeah, like the fact that some homeless people, I've said this before, stole a bunch of high school band equipment, right? And they live in the park. And they live in the park near me. And the problem is they're not even good. Oh, they're not good at all. But hey, the unfortunate thing for the area is that they practice at around 2.40 in the morning. And I respect the wanting to get good. Oh, look. I get it. Because we all did that when we were starting. You've got to get the reps in. But the problem is they're not together. Because sometimes people will even hear it. It's like you need a conductor.

2:13:40That's where you want to issue. They don't have it. They do not. Their conductor is not focused. They have three drums and a second chair clarinet or flautist. A lot of them have a problem with authority. Oh, dude, the middle of the night. You'll just hear, it's like, sometimes it's like Benny and the Jets or it's like, it's that Love the Way You Lie by Rihanna. It'll be like. And sometimes you hear a little bit of it and it is impressive. Like you hear the beginning of it and you go, oh, they finally got it. And then by the middle of Love the Way You Lie, everyone's doing something different.

2:14:13because the conductor is just not focused. Yeah, the conductor. We need more uppers for these conductors that are living in our parts. They got to keep time. Keep time. I want to stand there and watch me burn. Yeah, that's what it has to be. What was that article about? Was that it? Oh, but you're going to have a better. If you want to take Zins away from you, you're taking fucking Zins. The last thing that's keeping people going to college. People need to choose something at this point in their lives. We have adult males whose wives have left them. They have Zen body pillows, right? That's all they can do.

2:14:52Yeah, you can't. You'll never take our Zen. That guy, dude, you have better luck taking guns from people than Zins. Right. People need it. In fact, I think I would load a gun with Zins, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Walk into a Kappa Sig house and just fire it into the jaws of everybody in there. I'm 1 ,000 % with you. You cannot take the fucking, the last thing that they have. No, you can't. You know? It's just all dirty healthcare. I wonder how, though. That's what I don't know. They feed us poison, so we buy their cures. I don't know what the bottom says.

2:15:28It says Sirhan Sirhan supports RFK. It's been quite a time. Tim Dillon, I want to come on your show, man. Please, next week, anytime you want, let me know. I can come in two weeks that's great February like second week of February whenever you want to do it we'll do it okay yeah we have a studio in LA and New York so whichever one you want to do whichever easy LA it's great yeah thank you for having me I always have so much fun with you dude thanks so much man yeah dude it's a lot of fun just a blast ladies and gentlemen Tim Dillon thanks Tim thank you folks now I'm just floating on the breeze and I feel I'm falling like these leaves I must be cornerstone Oh, but when I reach that ground I'll share this peace of mind I found I can feel it in my bones But it's gonna take