E487 Dax Shepard

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26:41That's right, code THEO24. Subject to change, terms apply. I like to be hydrated. That's right, boy. Gosh, I like to be just all splishy, splashy on the inside. Just feeling just like a little damn ocean, baby. I love it. Liquid IV, that's who helps me. They've got great flavors like pear, white peach, and lemon lime. time. One stick of liquid IV plus 16 ounces of water hydrates better than water alone. Facts. Three times the electrolytes of the leading sports drink, no artificial sweeteners, and zero sugar. Eight vitamins and nutrients for everyday wellness, non-GMO, and free from gluten, dairy, and soy.

27:33However you hydrate, grab your Liquid IV hydration multiplier sugar-free in bulk nationwide at Costco or get 20 % off your first order when you go to liquidiv.com and use code Theo at checkout. That's 20 % off your first order when you shop Better Hydration today using promo code Theo at liquidiv.com. Yeah. My addiction was only curbed by me being broke. Right. Because you're in recovery, right? Yeah, yeah. Okay, me too. Yeah, yeah. Well, I think that's what actually turbocharged me reaching out to you. Yeah. It's like, I just liked you. And then I was talking to a friend of mine, Charlie, about you.

28:20And he's like, oh, I love him. Yeah, I listen to his podcast. He goes, you know, he's sober. I think he's like 18 months sober. And I was like, oh, wow, now I really have a reason I could reach out. That's cool, man. But yeah, I quit. Well, it was nice of you. I'm glad that you did. Yeah. Yeah. We've already had a couple of really nice text exchanges. Yeah, we have, man. We had a nice one the other day. And yeah, it's been fun, man. Yeah, I like meeting people that are in recovery. I feel a lot easier around people that are in recovery for some reason. And I don't know even what it is, if there's an immediate level of care or connection.

28:54What do you think about it? I think it's what's weird is looking back on my life. It parallels exactly who I also hung out with as a kid, which is. I only hung out with kids on welfare who also had divorced parents who also probably had violence in the household. I like being around people that I don't think are going to judge me. And in the program, everyone there is a fucking scumbag. Everyone's a piece of shit. That's why we're there. and like the great like experience you have if you go to aa and you work the steps is you're like you've made this list of things you've done wrong and you're you're you're required to tell somebody and generally it's your sponsor or whatever yeah and you're certain when you walk in there and you let them have this list of things you regret that they're gonna call the police on you or throw up in disgust with you and they look at you they're almost laughing like well that's it well you didn't fuck any animals that's like I'm impressed you haven't fucked any animals and then you're like well read the back of that second page oh shit you're right fuck I left something out but that look of like yeah me too is the most comforting thing for me yeah there'll be times when I'm in a meeting and like you're sitting there and somebody says something and you can feel this is crazy it's almost like how volleyball teams all get their period at the same time.

30:24You can feel like everybody in the room at the same time. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You ever had that happen? Oh, yeah, for sure. And you're like, it's almost like a group of fish or something. Yeah, birds all change direction. Some of the steam leaves at the same time out of every... It's got to be some physiological thing, but it's unbelievable. Yeah. Well, weirdly, I just interviewed this expert, and his book was called Super Communicators. And he was talking about them when - On armchair? Yeah. Yeah. When two people are having a conversation, and it's the same conversation. Oh, yeah. Charles Duhigg.

31:05Fuck, they're fast. It's almost too much now. It's too fast, and I feel like I'm having deja vu. It's a triggering deja vu. No, no. Keep it up. Keep it up. Don't change what you do. We'll dial them down a little. You guys have a winning recipe. but um there's basically like three different conversations conversation all conversations fall into three categories there's like there's logistical ones like what are we supposed to do next and then there's emotional ones what are you talking about for what so like a classic one would be you and your girlfriend are talking and you think you're having a conversation like um how should we fix this problem?

31:42And she, and she's having an emotional conversation. She's saying, I'm overwhelmed by this whole thing. Got it. And then so, and you can look at a brain in an fMRI and see like the part of her brain that's active is like the amygdala. And the part of your brain that's active is the neocortex. So literally you can't have the same conversation. It's like two different parts of the brain that do two different things. So you're like, well, here's how we're going to fix this, hon. You're never going to do that again. I'm going to tell it. Right. And And she's like, nothing is comforting her fear in that moment.

32:13So you guys are just like, and then the more you talk, having the two different conversations, the worse it gets for each other. So when you both are having the exact, the real same conversation and you look at people's brains in an fMRI, all of a sudden their brains become kind of indistinguishable from one another. Or another example is you can take a musician playing by themselves and then another musician playing by themselves look at their brain in an fMRI and they have a unique pattern and once they start playing together or start doing a duet their brain pattern become indistinguishable so we we will match our breathing when we're connected our heart rates will match all this crazy shit that's true start mirroring yeah this is like scientifically proven time and time again so yes that moment in a meeting it's like it's chaotic someone fought over a parking spot another guy just got broken up with blah blah blah blah this person like sledgehammers through generally for me when i've experienced it like with some moment of vulnerability like i just failed at this fucking thing and we all go like wait oh god i know exactly what it feels like to fail in that specific way yeah and now all of us have joined like the same brain pattern so i think it's not like it's not imagined.

33:32I think it's physiologically observable. And it's so powerful. It's when you realize like, oh yeah, we're social monkeys and we're supposed to be in a group like this and we're supposed to be dialed in and it feels fucking right. And then I didn't go to church or I was drugged at church. That was never a part of my life. So I don't have that kind of nostalgia for that collective experience. I know people in church have. I would go, my grandparents would take me and my brother and I would get in trouble. My Papa Bob would, you know, flick our ears and you know, it was, we were, we missed it. That's a great comparison.

34:08Like when you said, like with the birds, like how they all change at the same time. It's so crazy. Yeah. I think there's a lot of other things going on that we just don't have the ability since we only have five senses. It's hard for us to, I think there's a ton of stuff and information that's in the world, but we only have five ways of inputting it. Yeah. So we really are kind of limited as opposed to maybe, other things may have more, you know, or in the future they may have like creatures that have more or something, you know? Are you, would you consider yourself hypervigilant? I don't, do you mean like invading the Capitol or something like that?

34:45Like what? Are you talking about like people that invaded the Capitol? No, no, no, no. Um, like I'm guessing, I don't know enough about you. But if you leave, if you leave the house at 14, my guess is it wasn't like the Cleavers. Yeah. Right? Oh, yeah. I just didn't feel any connection at home. So then at a certain point, I was like, well, why am I going to stay here and let this define me? Where did you go at 14? I went and stayed with a friend. Oh, you did? Yep. One of my buddies. And their parents were fine. Yeah, their parents were pretty cool, and we had a nice time, and we're still... I still go over there when I go home.

35:16Yeah. So it's like... And their kids left like a year later, and I was still... You stayed after they left? Forever. Wait, so your buddy was a couple years older than you? He was the same age, but he... Yeah, something happened. and he drove into the neighbor's house or something. He was drinking, and then he had to leave. And so I was fucking still there. You were still there. Oh, and now I'm in his room. Now I'm fucking... You were being sponsored by him, but then he split, and they kept you. That's really funny. Did you feel weird as hell, like that first dinner? Would you eat dinner with the family?

35:45Yeah, I would eat dinner with them. We had fun, man. And your buddy was gone, and you were there. Yeah. Do you remember that first dinner? Oh, yeah, dude. I was like, well, more for us. I was just in there. But I remember the first night I closed the door. To his bedroom? No, this is my. Which was now yours. This is when I had my own bedroom there, and I closed the door, and I was like, I was like, fuck, I hadn't had my own room. I was like, this is crazy, dude. And then something, I must have had drugs on my mind at that point or something, because I remember I opened the window then and lit up a little joint, right?

36:23And I didn't realize, I guess, how like. Stinky it is. Just, yeah. I was just excited to fucking be a homeowner. You thought you had your own home. Here we go. I'm finally on my own. No, no. You have a room, Theo. Yeah. It's still in someone else's house. And his window was next to mine. And I guess his room was open. He fucking comes in there. He's like, dude, what the fuck are you doing? Yeah, yeah. We just got you in here, bro. Yeah, right. You're going to get thrown out. And then he fucking bitched me out and then took the rest of the joint. And fucking smoked it. Went in the yard. But that was fun, man.

37:00When did you start doing drugs? I think probably then. You know, around then I was smoking weed and stuff, but I wasn't doing anything heavy. And I never liked drinking or drugging. But then when I got, like, I think I just had so much issues, like, with dating and, like... Like you couldn't date and you wanted to? I don't know. I just had so many issues with it. I just... Do girls like you? not when I was young. And then I switched to a new high school when some of them did. And that was crazy. It was so scary. You're like, now what do we even do? You know? But then it was like, everything was kind of fine.

37:38I just could never be faithful in a relationship. Yeah, me neither. Really? Did you have a problem with it? Oh, fuck no. Yeah, couldn't, couldn't. It's like, when I, the longer I'm sober. What, do you spray it under my tongue? Yeah, I go under the tongue and then let it kind of soak in like you had dip in. All right. I just quit dip on the first. That's why. Well, if one of us have quit shit, we're spraying nicotine in our face. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's good. That's good for you, though. Yeah, it's great. This is the tobacco that's an issue. Yeah, elementary school for me was way too big, way too big.

38:11Most parents felt bad. They thought I had flunked a couple of grades. But you were tall? Yeah, I was just a big kid. Yeah. And I was dumb because I was dyslexic and I couldn't read. You were really dyslexic? Yeah, and I went to special ed every day for two hours with, you know, oh, they would knock at the door in the middle of class and they would go, Dax, and then they would call someone else and we'd like stand up and we'd leave and go to special ed for a couple hours. It was rough. And then, you know, I'm trying to tiptoe around the fact that most of the kids in that classroom were like in wheelchairs and everything else.

38:46So I was confused. I'm like, why am I? What's going on here? and so i was huge and dumb and i don't know too many colics oh wow there you are man wow i can't believe you found a picture that's first grade dax shepherd yeah those big teeth i haven't raised my teeth were all fucked up i was in i was in braces for like uh nine years really yeah my teeth were bad too so anyways i i was in love with so many girls in elementary school like i had huge crushes no girls like me and then thank god my brother in between fifth grade and sixth grade when i went to junior high he's like here's the situation you're shaving your sides were going spiked on top you're gonna have bangs now long and back you're a skateboarder and you're punk rock go and i just went with it and i arrived at highland junior high in the most popular girl in that junior high, Sasha.

39:43Oh, she sounds beautiful. Dude, she was so fucking beautiful. It was insane. God, dude. I'm walking down the hallway, in the sixth grade hallway, and Sasha Crossett's walking down the sixth grade hallway, and I'm like, oh my God, what's she doing here? Like, oh, that's Sasha Crossett. And she fucking handed me a note. Uh-uh. And I went into my science class, and I opened it up, and it said, will you go with me? And I was like, dude, that's the first drug. That is the first drug. I was like, what's happening? Is this a prank? Yeah. Had her phone number. Uh-uh. Went home. She was real serious. Went home and was like, dialed the phone.

40:25Remember that? Yes. And then I chatted on the phone with her for like two hours. And then we were fucking going together. In your room you chatted with her? Or did y 'all have a universal phone? That's a real question. Sixth grade, I was living at my dad's for a few months. So, yeah, I had my own room. There wasn't a phone in there, but it was easy to have privacy there. And it was a landline? Because my dad was out. He wasn't sober yet. Really? He was partying? Yeah. Oh, he was going fucking hard. Sold cars, drove a Corvette, fucking banged Coke at the bar seven days a week. Yeah, yeah. He was everything.

41:01Dude, that's so cool, man. Yeah, I remember walking. And that changed my life. Oh, that changes everything. And I liked it so fucking much. And I remember she was in eighth grade and I was in sixth grade. So we would make out at the bus before she got on the bus. I'd go to the basketball games with her. And she told me to go up her shirt. She's like, go up my shirt. And I remember going up her shirt. And I was like, her bra felt so tight. And I was like, I'm supposed to go under this bra, I think. But fuck, it's so tight it's going to hurt if I. And I was like monkeying around in there and fumbling.

41:31And then she's like, just go under my shirt. She really made me do it. Oh, she was really assertive. in there and got it and it was euphoric and it was such a high such and i didn't have it and maybe this little brother i just felt like a i could never turn down that attention if i got it i couldn't resist it yeah and of course i'm like and they don't know no one knows it's everything's fine like i'm still very nice to this person and that thing happened and then yeah just It's a terrible pattern of cheating. Yeah, the bad pattern starts, man. Yeah, I was saying, when I think back now, I've cleared up, like, dude, I quit drinking in 2004, in September of 2004.

42:12I had an opiate relapse, but in general, I haven't had, like, fucking wreckage in 19 years. Oh, that's great. And so the stuff that really plagues me now is, like, just really going back and being like, God, yeah, those girls didn't deserve, like, they deserved me. to be faithful to be like yeah shivers got to not use them to prop up my own self-esteem and then need someone again to because it doesn't last yeah oh yeah feeling great i remember walking across a gym i was at this new school i walk across the gym and some girl this girl was hot dude she was like i think she had like 30 tits oh she was so hot and she was looking at me i and i I thought I had like shit on my leg or something.

43:02Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I was literally like so fucking embarrassed. I was like, and I was walking across the gym. I could feel every step. And I was like, I've got to get across this gym. And I got to find a mirror ASAP. And I got to de-shit myself because these bitches are catching on. And then after that, like a girl like came to the office one time and kind of liked me. But before that, I'd been so nervous. Like one girl I liked in like middle school. I didn't know how to tell her. I saved up the saliva in my mouth the whole class. And after class, I ran up behind her and spit right in the back of her hair.

43:40That was your move. It was like an animal. It was like literally. I feel like a chimpanzee. When I think about it now, it's like, dude, you were an animal. You had no je ne sais quoi. You didn't. I'm afraid you didn't just shit in the hallway and stare at her as you did. But when I think Hey you! Yeah When I think about the effect Over here I love you I love you so much I love you so much I'm shitting in the hallway for you I'm shitting in the hallway for you I'm ruining myself for you I'm fully exposed God Yeah it was like It was just such an effect That kind of thing had such an effect And that became like An addiction man Just in the sense of wanting attention from women It wasn't as much like a sexual addiction for me over the years.

44:30It just was like I needed to know if there was any chance that that girl cared about me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I just needed it. You craved it. Yeah, I needed her to look at me. I just needed something. I just needed her to see me. Yeah. And then it's okay if it played out how it wanted, but I needed to at least have her see. Not be invisible. Yes. Yeah, because you feel invisible. I felt invisible all of elementary school. I'm friends with the guys that have girlfriends. My friend Trevor's with Amy. We're always together. Can you see that I'm here? I know I'm too big for everybody, but, you know.

45:07Yeah. I had a great relationship with my mom, but it kept getting punctuated by stepdads. Oh, really? So you had unlimited stepdads? Yeah, I had unlimited stepdads. Almost like unlimited shrimp over at Red Cross. Yeah, it was bottomless stepdads. The sizzler of stepdads. But so it would be like super connected and it would just be the four of us, my little sister, my brother, and my mom. And that was always perfect. But then a new guy would roll in and then it was like his program and we had to have different manners at the table. And she'd be distracted, understandably. She was like in her 20s raising three kids by herself.

45:49I have no like resentment towards her about it all. But yeah, there just, there was like, and I just fucking craved it. I wanted to be loved at all times by a woman. I still want to be. Like my needs are unrealistic. Oh, that's interesting. Like if I'm dead honest and I'm in therapy, my therapist will be like, you know, it's not Kristen's job. Like she's not your mom. She's not going to dote on you and be infatuated with your existence. And I'm like, wait, that's not. But I'm giving up so much. I'm not banging anyone. Shouldn't I be doted on and celebrated every time I walk through this door? Shouldn't there be a parade?

46:27Shouldn't my daughters, like, every day I have not left? Shouldn't they be like, God damn it, Dad. We got one of the good ones. I know your dad was out at three. But no one's proud of me. No one cares. Oh, I remember my first, like, or my second girlfriend. and we were like really in love and what age? I think this was in college and she and I, she broke up with me. She'd had it. And I remember saying, you can't break up with me. You're my mom. That's what I remember. It came out of my fucking face. Which was just a slight improvement over spitting in her hair. That's where you had matured to by the time you were in college.

47:08You can't. You're my mom. What a Freudian slip. It was a Freudian water slide, dude. But it blew It came out. It like came out. It just, I was like, you can't break up with me. You're my mom. Oh, my Lord. And I was like, and I didn't know for years what that even meant. And then once I got into recovery and started getting a look at my life, I was able to be like, wow, dude. Like I had no understanding of like how to get affection or be fair with affection or anything like that. Yeah. I mean, I didn't have a template. I didn't have a fucking idea. I didn't know. What was her response? Do you remember?

47:44I know she felt probably bad for me. Oh, good. She loved me for sure. Yeah, yeah. And she's a super loving girl. But I think she probably, years later, probably saw like, oh, that dude was not a safe. He was not ready. Yeah, that guy was not ready. No, no, he was not ready for a mature. And he's still fucking just trying to get ready. He's still not ready, but. He's trying to get ready. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But that stuff doesn't go away, man. That's the crazy thing. I thought at certain times in my life, I'd be like, oh, in a couple years, this will be gone. but it doesn't go away unless you do something about it.

48:15Yeah, I have the fantasy that to be aware of it would solve it. Like, oh, I see what's happening. I'm just trying to get, you know, I'm trying to heal. Oh, God. I could go super deep, which is like, and this is recent, and this is probably too much for your show or the dudes who listen to this. No, dude, if I cry on here one more time, I'm literally turning into the Garth Brooks of podcasting. Yeah, me too. I've been crying all the time. That's why I get in bed. I didn't cry for 30 years and now I can't make it through a day without crying. Bro, it's like. It's for fucking being sober. Yeah. It's like you don't have anything to numb it and here it is.

48:51But I also think there was a sexual component, which is like, okay, so my mom adores me. That's obvious. I was the golden child. I did not lack for a mom who believed in me or supported me or thought I was wonderful. She definitely did. But something would take her away from me. and I was smart enough to realize, oh, we can't fulfill this romantic desire of hers. Like that's something we can't fulfill. She's going to have to go get boyfriends. Right. AKA she's going to have to have a sexual relationship with people. Right. So I think in some weird way, and I think I'm just starting to understand this aspect, which is like I have to give that to any woman if I want her to stay around in a way that is world class and you don't want to go shopping for more.

49:43Like the priority I put on that part, the sexual part, I think was very outsized for what a woman would even give a shit about. Just as a little kid, I was like, oh, the only thing I don't have that my mom needs is sex. Is sexual part. And that's what I want her to stay at all times. And I don't want any of these guys to come around. So now if I'm having this experience that also feels loving and nurturing with a female, my thought is like I have to give her that thing in a way that she'll never go need it and leave me for it. God, that sounds kind of exhausting in a way. I mean, kudos to you, dude.

50:21Yeah, I don't know. That was the route I took. I was always so nervous with sex. You are. Oh, shit, you know. and it would be like, yeah, oh, dude, so, like, unbelievable. And I would just yell things out like, that was great sex, you know, just fucking hoping that you could rewrite history for her. Yeah, and it's just, oh, God, bro. Nobody has given out more bad sex, I don't think, than me. Hands down. There should be a game show, I think. and they just put like a whoop bracelet on you and it's just like, people were like, no fucking way. Oh my goodness, well, we haven't seen one this low. This is unbelievable.

51:04This is an underwine. Do you remember when they asked George Zimmerman's personal trainer on the witness stand what he would rank his physical fitness level out of 10? And George Zimmerman was the guy that shot the - Trayvon Martin. Trayvon Martin. And he had a physical trainer, which is comical in itself, but they asked the trainer, like, what would you rank, What would you give Zimmerman's physical fitness out of 10? And he said with a straight face, point A. Or some point, point something, and I was like, oh, my Lord. That is the last thing you want to hear your fucking trainer get into the decimals when trying to assess your foot.

51:45Why don't you say zero? I guess he thought if he said zero, it would be, oh, do we have it? Oh, 0.5 out of 10. Oh, my God. Wow. Woo. What he really said was zero. That was him. He's like, I got to throw a half point in to just not be so cruel. Yeah, we got to have. You know, and he's sitting there, presumably. He's like behind that desk waiting, hoping he'll see here. I hope he gives me a four. Maybe he had a high end and a low end of expectation. That'd be more shocking than the verdict The guy's like yes I'm going If he could take away one of the two things Dude yeah and you don't want to be That little flubber in prison I don't think Because those are the guys I hear that get like Kind of banged a lot around Like the holidays and stuff The holidays Why the holidays Because people are sentimental Yeah it's like the little chubby guys in prison Get fucked around the holidays That's what I've heard What holiday is the worst?

52:52Christmas? Christmas probably. Now if it's Hanukkah, it's fucking eight days long. Yeah. Very sad Jewish inmate. Hey, somebody hide fat Josh. We got to fucking make sure he doesn't get banged up. But yeah. Get him into, what do they call it when you're by yourself? Solitary confinement. Yeah, put him in solitary confinement. Yeah, man. Easter's got to be a big one, too. Yeah, there's a little bit more. Because there's a resurrection and you're feeling extra bad about you. Somebody's like, yeah, I'm going to get hard again because Jesus did. It has arisen. Buying tickets can be stressful. If you want tickets to a game, an event, there's so many sites now, you don't know what's legitimate and if your seats are going to be there when you get there.

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54:24That's nice. Terms apply. Again, create an account and redeem code WEEKEND for$20 off. Download GameTime today. Last-minute tickets, lowest price guaranteed. Wow, man. So, did you, how much times, have you been married before? It was your first marriage. Yeah, I was with, I've had three really long-term relationships. I had like a five-year that started in high school and then lasted to me living in L.A. And then I was with an incredible woman, Bree, for nine years. But that one I thought I had kind of outsmarted, which was I had already felt so fucking terrible about cheating on girls. I always got caught.

55:13Inevitably, I got caught. And those were the, I can't remember those phone calls trying to explain why it didn't, you didn't care. Was there anything worse than that? Oh, my God. Well, it's tied with driving to someone's apartment to tell them that you're breaking up. I mean, those two for me are like, I've had a lot of motorcycle injuries. I'd take them a million times before I'd ever drive to someone's apartment and just say like, I think we're in different places. Yeah, and they're like, no shit. Oh, dude, the craziest is when you go over there and you knock on the door and they open it, but they kind of walk away from the door after they open it.

55:52Oh, right. So it's just fully up for you to walk in and talk to, you know, it's like when the gig is up, dude. Oh, fuck. I hate it so much. And then, you know, you've been feeling that way for months in my case before you have the balls to drive over and fucking be honest. Yeah. And then so that drive is insufferable. insufferable and then sitting in there is so terrible but there is that feeling when you walk out the door and you've made it and you're walking to your car where you just go like oh oh thank god okay oh you do get that blast of like relief yeah and then a day later you're like i think i'm in love with her i think i love her so much and i fucked up yeah i think i really fucked up then you're insanely in love with her for a few days and then you got a like white knuckle vat just It's like it's booze or coke to not re-engage.

56:45Anywho, what were we? Oh, so when Bree and I met, we met cheating on two people. Oh, okay. Right? And I knew immediately, I'm like, I fucking love this girl. Like, oh, my God, do I love this girl. Like, I want to have kids with this girl at some point. Wow, and had you ever felt like that before or no? I guess I did the girl I was cheating on with that I had been with for five years certainly but that had run its course in that I had moved to LA to pursue this she hadn't joined me it was kind of obvious we also got kind of we got realistic about the fact that we only see each other four times a year and like that got a little it approached an open relationship or maybe even became one it kind of was just like look you're a human I'm a human I'm 20 one year 20.

57:36Oh yeah, all those children. So we were kind of grown up about that. So then when I met Bree and we met cheating, I just had this moment of honesty with her where I said like, I would like to have kids with you and make it to 30 and have kids. And I don't think you and I will make it if one of the requirements is monogamy. I just think we're fooling ourselves. If that's one of the deal breakers, we're not going to make it to the part I want to make it two where we have a kid and she was like i don't so what are you suggesting i'm like basically like i don't want to lose you over that um i'm liable to do it and i feel like you're probably liable to do it we just met cheating on each other you know two people and um there was this kind of weird intermarry uh inter intermarry whatever period where she like ended up chatting with their mom about it and all this stuff and then at some point she just came to me and said like yeah i guess if i don't know anything i don't really care and i was like yeah and i don't i have no desire to know about anything but um i'm not gonna require that from you we both were just like i'm not gonna require that from you so i was in an open relationship for nine years wow and we slept in the same bed every single night we lived together there was no like craziness mind you I was also a fucking full-blown addict during this period but if she was at home I don't know what happened when I was at home she didn't know what happened and that to some degree worked I mean definitely worked we stayed together for nine years in our 20s which is almost impossible and I love her like crazy still do we're still really good friends and both of our lives have worked out great and I wouldn't say that that was the reason ultimately we broke up but all that to say going back to like getting older being sober longer i you know i would have liked to have been someone that could have just been monogamous with her i think she deserved that i also think oh yeah i think even within the the with even within those rules i was scumbaggy like i definitely hit on her friends sometimes like i did terrible shit under the guise of like well i'm not lying about this i'm i'm i'm honest in that can be true and also you can recognize that people are hurt that you're leaving a wake of people that are bummed and hurt by you and so it's like great i didn't lie and i'm above board but people around me are kind of hurt by their experience with me i don't like how that feels yeah yeah or like bring it like around your friends and they know what you're doing just like all they all feel awkward yeah it's like what's going on here yeah that But also, I think more like how many people, because we're very open about it.

1:00:24Dude, I remember it was New Year's Eve. And I was out in the mountains with some girl and all of her friends. And then her friend and I ended up hooking up in the closet upstairs. And then a couple hours later, she's like, did you hook up with my friend in the closet? And I was like, that's the dumbest fucking thing I've ever heard of. Right. That's crazy. I was like, let the shit up. Yeah. Well, and we're all just at this. So stuff like that, I think I feel like, and some of those things I've had to like make amends for, you know, and I didn't do a ton of stuff like that. But there were certainly moments where it was like, I'd be in an instance where I had somebody I really liked and cared about.

1:01:03And there was a still a part of me that that needed to get more validation or needed to be seen, you know, and it wasn't always even about sex, but sometimes it was just like, I needed to know if I could flirt or that girl would give me some response, you know? Well, that's when you connect the dots that like, oh, because I connected these dots in sobriety, which is like. Oh, this is the exact same thing. like whether I want to acknowledge it or not this sex thing and this approval thing is identical to cocaine yeah um I had like the most visceral experience of my life that pointed that out to me well I had two um one was and I was a few years sober and I was single and I was on myspace Yeah.

1:01:51And I was on TV. Oh, my gosh. Yeah, just take that in for a second. So you were just damn Prince Charles or whatever. I was enjoying the shit out of my space. And also I hadn't looked at the sex component as potentially harmful to me yet. Yeah. But I remember a gal came over. And you were good at sex, you said? I mean, what could be more nauseating than a guy saying they're good at sex out loud? So that's just a lose-lose for me. We'll just pretend that you're okay with that. Okay. I certainly have. Some people aren't good. Some people, you know. Also, let's be honest. The more you fuck, the better you are.

1:02:30Like, you're not coming as fast. I don't know about any of that, dude. I'm sure you've had periods where you've fucked seven days in a row. No. I never. I was always too lazy to do something like that, I think. Oh, really? Yeah. You were saved by your lethargy? If they've had sex twice in a week or, yeah, I was always very like, it was like it took a while. Yeah, just like, yeah. Okay, so I need to preface this by I'm ashamed of this, what I'm about to tell you. Like, I am ashamed of this. But this is very true. I was a few years sober. I was single. Someone had come over that I had met on MySpace.

1:03:08And I was giving them a tour of the house. and I was in the first room of the tour and I had this thought that was like, oh, this tour is so long. You had a big house? No, I didn't have a big house. I was like, but then I thought, what is this? I have a very familiar feeling. Like it's unmissable, this feeling I have right now. And I like took a second to try to figure out like, I know this feeling. I know this feeling. What is this? What is this? And I was like, oh, my God. I know exactly what this is. This is sitting in my old drug dealer Tom's living room while he measured out shit and told me about his fucking day and got distracted by telling me about his day.

1:03:57And I wanted to scream just like fucking give me a bump and I'll listen to you forever. But fucking focus and give me the thing like that. That impatience. Oh, yes. Teamwork. You want teamwork. Yes. Just like knock off the bullshit. Give me the thing. And then let's talk. I'll fucking be all ears for eternity. Yeah. But that feeling is so specific to me that in that moment in the room, I realized, oh, my God, it's the same thing. I'm like, I need this woman to give me the thing I need. And I hate that. I hate that about myself. I hate that for her. I hate all of it. It's just I don't want to be insatiably needing something from somebody and dependent on them giving me the thing.

1:04:46And I was like, whoa. So that was one moment where I was like, oh, God, they're kind of the same thing. Right. And once I recognize that, I'm like, I probably have to think about it in those terms. Like, do I feel worse about myself? Are people, you know, are they benefiting from, you know, whatever. Then the other crazy thing that happened that really sealed it for me was I was monogamous. It was for the first time in like a decade. And so and then I was talking to my then girlfriend who was in Boston doing something. And she told this story about bumping into somebody I knew she cheated on her ex-boyfriend with.

1:05:24And they're all at the same hotel. I'm thinking like, well, I'm sure they fucked. Right. So I'm like, I'm mad driving. I'm driving in the car on the 405. And I had been monogamous at that point for like three months. we get in a kind of fight over that and we hang up and i just had this like swell like a swell of horniness the way you do when it's like i gotta get coke or i got whatever that really big swell and all of a sudden i was so horny and i was like i'm gonna i'm gonna text kelly i'm gonna text kelly right now and um i can stop by her i'm not supposed to because i'm Now I'm monogamous, blah, blah, blah.

1:06:04And then I just had a moment where I was like, that's interesting. You're in a fight. You feel emasculated by whatever just happened. And your body's smart enough to go, well, let's get horny. You won't have to feel any of this if you're horny and we're at Kelly's house and you're getting validated and you come, all this stuff. I was like, fuck, this is like a defense. Yeah. Because it's just like any other thing. I'm so afraid of my feelings or feeling uncomfortable. That your body created some defense. My body was ahead of me. It's like I hung up. I didn't even register what had just happened.

1:06:40And all of a sudden, I'm like, I am physically horny. It's not like I made it up. And those two things for me, I was like, yeah, this is a whole thing we got to figure out. Yeah. Wow. Man, yeah, that's the craziest part is that a lot of times it's not even you making a choice. It could be you choosing once you get the input, but your physiologicalness is dealing you the cards. And again, back to the brain, the area of your brain that's now sucking up all the blood and running the show isn't the part of your brain, your neocortex, where you would think through all the things that are going to happen after this.

1:07:22These two areas can't be doing the thinking at the same time. So once that swell of like craving comes about, this is offline. You're like, I don't, I'm never going to see tomorrow. Or that's tomorrow Dex's problem. You're right. I feel bad for him, but today's Dex is about to get fucked up and feel good. Yes. Yeah. It's like everything, the ability to have any comprehension really, or any forward thinking completely disappears. That's crazy, bro. I mean, it disappears. Yeah, it's gone. It's unbelievable. You can't access it. No. I mean, my biggest thing was just that one of the things I ran into was just commitment.

1:08:02A lot of times I would get into a relationship and then I just could not be committed. Like, I couldn't be committed. I just couldn't do it, you know? What's your explanation of that? Was it because you wanted to hook up with other girls or is it because you thought ultimately they would see that you're a piece of shit and be out? I wanted to have the option to do what I wanted to do I wanted to be You wanted it all You wanted to go to Sizzler I'm in the mood for Wings and I'm in the mood for Sale And I'm in the mood for No I just didn't I just didn't want I didn't want To have Somebody else Define me There's a part of me that really doesn't Trust Having somebody else define me in a way.

1:08:52Does that make any sense or no? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, it was like, even I remembered when I had a girlfriend, a lot of times I wouldn't even say, this is my girlfriend. I would say, this is my friend, and then their name. And a lot of that stuff I feel bad about, man, because it's not fair to them. So it was that sort of thing. It was like, I just... There's something I just had the toughest time with letting somebody else define me. But do you think... And I don't want to speak poorly of your mother, but do you think it's okay to suggest that since mom didn't have your best interest in mind, that it was going to be pretty hard for you to imagine that anyone was going to have your best interest in mind?

1:09:32I think there could be some truth to that. I just don't know.

1:09:39It's hard for me to get there in my head. Yeah. Or like intellectually, you could maybe see the thread, but it doesn't feel like anything real. Right. Yeah. And for a lot of times for me, I got to get to that feeling space, for it to activate inside of you. So I just think my mom was just super big. There just wasn't a connection there, and I really wanted it. How old were you when your dad died? I was 16, and he was very old, but he was cool. I mean, he was old. But my mom would come to the baseball games. My mom was kind of a fucking gangster in a lot of ways. She would come to the baseball games, and she would fucking scream, hit it or we're leaving from her fucking Astrovan in left field.

1:10:25And bro, I was already horrible at baseball. I was horrible. Hit it or we're leaving, she would yell. She didn't have any patience for... Fourth inning every time we were gone. Really? She would pull you. Bro, I was... Yeah. Alright, he had five chances. Let's go. She would pull me from the game. Yeah. Yeah, it sounds like she had your best interest in mind. Totally. She was just surviving, you know? Yes. Well, again, you can be sympathetic and not judgmental to it, but also acknowledge what happened. Right. And I think that's still where I'm at. Like, it's still like there's still a part of me that has like a lot of resentment.

1:11:01I think you'll have kids one day. And it'll change it all. It will. Because you'll start just, you know, subconsciously or you'll just be evaluating like, oh, wait, where was I when I was three? Like, I remember my daughter came in, our oldest daughter. This was probably a year and a half ago. She came in, and she was like, she had had a nightmare that me and Kristen got divorced, that mom and dad got divorced. And I said, okay, well, you know, what happened? Someone cheated. I think mom cheated on dad. And I said, okay, well, a couple things. I would never divorce your mom if she cheated on me.

1:11:40We would work through that. Like, that's not going to happen. But let's say it happened. What would then, what would go on? What would happen next? He's like, well, we wouldn't live together. And I'm like, yeah, but I'd buy the house next door. And I will be with you nonstop. Like, I'm not going anywhere, no matter what happens. That's not going to happen. But if that happened, I'm living next door to you. And you come and see me whenever you want. And maybe your mom will date someone that's really cool. Maybe there'll be another cool person in your life. Like, that's, we don't know what it would be.

1:12:16But while I was saying all this to her, I was looking at her and all of a sudden I was just like, oh, she's nine. By nine, I'm on my third stepdad and I've already been molested. Yeah. Like, and I'm looking at her, I'm like, no, no, she's way too little to be on her third dad. and to have been molested. Right, like jeepers. You have like a compassion for yourself because I think in my mind I'm always older than I really was or I felt with it or I knew the score. You felt responsible. Yes, and in many ways I was. And then again, I'm palling around with my brother who's five years older than me, so I was always a little bit five years ahead.

1:12:58But I look at this little girl and I think, oh yeah, that's way too many things to have happened to a nine-year-old. Wow. Right? Yeah, that's kind of interesting. And I think I probably need to get to that place in my life. I would like to. Yeah, I'm definitely like, yeah, I'm tired of kind of living in the same place sometimes, you know. So I'm just working on some of that stuff with my sponsor. What's the longest you've been with a girl? A girl, probably three years maybe. So pretty long, I feel like. And so, yeah, it'll happen. And then also I fell in love with my work, you know. That's one thing I really fell in love with.

1:13:35Like, I love to work, you know. I love to work. It's like a safe thing that I know like. How many days a year are you touring doing stand up? I don't know. Maybe a hundred and maybe a hundred shows a year. A hundred. And then you're where in Nashville the rest of the time? Yeah. Nashville or. You know, I'm building a house in Nashville. Hey, tell me that. Yeah. So you're going to be like best friends in Tennessee. This is so exciting. Maybe we should meet up in our tour buses like at Waffle House or something. Yeah. Yeah, dude, that'd be cool. What made you guys choose Nashville? Well, it started with, like, I grew up around a bazillion lakes.

1:14:16Where I'm from in Michigan, it's just lakes everywhere. Oh, so it's rural Michigan. Yeah, so I'm... Like Charlevoix? I was... Ooh, Charlevoix is so beautiful. No, not that far out. Oh, my God, have you been there? Kid Rock always talks about it all the time. No, it's preposterously beautiful. Wow. In fact, you go there and you're like, this is in the USA? say like the that area of Michigan the water is turquoise blue like the Caribbean like Torch Lake is like yeah it's so beautiful up there and they have these Petoskey stones which are all tortoise to like turtle they're impossibly beautiful flat stones for escape it's incredible but initially we were gonna I found a house I wanted to get there I kind of wanted to live out my fantasy of growing up broke driving by the houses on a certain lake and I was home visiting my best friend Aaron and I was driving by that lake and I was like oh shit son you could fucking have a house on that lake now like that happened and I was like I was weird I was like that happened?

1:15:10Was it scary though to like lean into like a newer you that like has like money and all of that and opportunity and stuff like that sometimes I think I feel a little bit like yeah like it's just like it doesn't fit well or yeah I think sometimes I feel like it doesn't fit well sometimes I feel like yeah I've talked about this before but it's like I don't want to put it's like uh I kind of like where I am yeah but is it that or is it that you're afraid I'm afraid what people will think of me yes so I have that too like I'm from a very blue collar half the town was on welfare there's a fight in school three or four times a day you know violent drunk blue collar place.

1:15:58It's the last suburb out of Detroit. Like the union kind of. What's that? Like a union? Yes. Yes. Everyone's parents were in the UAW where I grew up. But it's the last suburb out of Detroit before it turns to just cornfields. So it's like if you went east, it got like more and more built up. But if you went west of where I was from, it was just past years. The kids got on my bus with horse shit all over their boots from shovel and shit. So it was like Muir? Is that near? I went to Muir Junior High. No, you didn't. Yes. M-U-I-R? What? M-U-I-R? Yeah. Why do you know Muir? Billy Strangs was just on here, and he grew up in Muir.

1:16:35No. Oh, he's an amazing guitarist. I just watched it. You posted a clip like a few days ago of it. Yeah. Yeah, and he was talking about shitting on a heated seat at the Sunset Tower. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, so same. So I'm the same thing. Wow, interesting. I hated rich people. Yeah. I grew up, I hated rich people. They were the enemy, right? I still hate them. Yeah. I know. No, that's hard to come to peace with for me, which is like, at what point are you just a fraud? Because you're a rich dude now. And I can't identify with that because I hated rich people. They were the enemy. They were the people that made you feel shitty and that looked down on you.

1:17:12Yeah, well, we had a veterinarian, dude. And he, like, our street, like, was like, people would go from, like, town and they would cut through our neighborhood to go to, like, kind of, like, the nicer area where people lived at. Yeah. And he was like a veterinarian, and he would throw out like the dead animal stuff in our ditch all the time. Oh, wow. And like, yeah, he would literally stop a fucking black Mercedes. Drop off six or seven cats. Oh, he's just dropping off a bunch of fucking Bichon carcasses and just hitting the road up there to Richville, and we would all get out there and yell and call them queer or whatever.

1:17:46And then fry up the food. Totally. And thank Jesus for the meal. No, we would throw like the bones at each other. We would make like dinosaurs out of the bones and hide them and shit and fucking. But I think something like that. Yeah, there was. Well, the rich were always an enemy, you know? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You always had to have an enemy, you know? So I think there's still good enemies to find out there. And maybe they're not all rich. Maybe it's just more about like greed or like. Well, the thing that I'm entertaining is like, yeah, that's going to happen. people who are my people are going to hate me because I'm rich.

1:18:25What can I do about that? Like that's their thing, just like it was my thing. And to pretend I'm something other than I'm not feels like an even bigger contradiction or hypocrisy. Yeah. Right? Like I got to be realistic. I still feel very comfortable in the shit, though. Most comfortable. Yeah. And so I think if you met me, whatever you thought or you were mad about, I don't think you would feel that way. Yeah. Because I'm not above anyone. I got some paper, and I fucking love it, and I want to keep it. Yeah. That's all I wanted. I've fucking been working so hard to get that fucking paper. I didn't want to be a rich guy, but I wanted the paper more than anyone else I ever met in my life.

1:19:15Oh, that's interesting. Yeah, and I think also being rich can be like an attitude, too. I think that's a lot of it. It's like there was something about the attitude of it. Nepotism, shit like that I don't like. I didn't like. That's some of the shit I just, I don't know. I still have a chip on my shoulder about like the kind of East Coast, blue bloody, these schools, the dress. But, dude, I went to vacation this year with my kids in Martha's Vineyard. Right, so yeah. And I'm like, well, what are we going to do here? How are we going to play this? We're going to act like you can't be there and act like you don't go there.

1:19:54And my wife was like, why do you want to go to Martha's Vineyard? And I'm like, those Kennedys could go anywhere. The Kennedys were the gangsters of all gangsters. They could go anywhere. If they went there and set up shop, there has to be something there. I see what you're saying. Like, I got to see why the people that could have done anything landed there. Oh, that's interesting. I was like curious. And I went there and was like, oh, yeah, no shit, people. It was fucking incredible. Is it nice? Yes. Wow. And again, this is what I tell myself. What's nice about it is like, hey, it's just fucking gorgeous.

1:20:26Have you been to Daytona Beach? A million times. That's where we go for our winter break. My mom would drive us in a van and we would sleep in the van down at Daytona. Yeah, I hadn't been there before. It blew my mind. But a different vibe than Martha's Vineyard. Yeah, yeah. I can imagine that. Did you go to Ron John down on Cocoa Beach? Ron John's surf shop. Yeah, I've been over there, dude. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I've been over there. It was all about getting the Ron John shirt when I was a kid. Yeah, that was the best. And the sand is so hard packed in Daytona that my brother and I remember going there.

1:20:57This is what always happened. We would drive down in a van, the four of us. We'd sleep in the van, and it would always be the shittiest weather that Florida had the whole year. We'd be leaving Michigan in the snow, and then we would get there all excited, and then it would be like 49. So one day we were there. It was raining. It was cold as hell. But the scene was so hard packed that my brother and I were on our skateboards, and we had, like, windbreakers. And the wind just pushed us down the beach on our skateboards, like, flying. One of my greatest memories of my whole life. That's such a good feeling, dude.

1:21:28Yeah, yeah. Skateboarding on the beach. I don't even know how you would do it. Oh, on the boardwalk. No, on the sand. Oh, wow. I know people listening would probably not believe this. Yeah, I don't believe it. A, everyone drives on it. So it's just like really packed out. And then if it rains, it was just like being on concrete. Damn. Yeah. Oh, what a moment. Yeah, what's Martha's Vineyards like? I think of it as like there's ducks kind of. There are ducks. You're going to find all variety of waterfowl there. Yeah, and there's a lot of. But I'll tell you the thing that I'll say. They do have a restriction on how big of a house you can build there.

1:22:03so like this place versus um the hamptons right so the hamptons attracts billionaires martha's vineyard is millionaires i know that's a stupid distinction to make but for me still with this weird class warfare thing i was like okay well there's no yachts out here there's no people with like 40 000 square foot houses and everyone's no one's flashy everyone drives around in like vintage cars there's no like bentley's and shit it's like everyone's an old Cherokee and stuff. You got Michelle and Barry. They got a spot. Their house looks to be bigger than the square footage allotment. Yeah, that definitely looks like it's 11 ,000 square feet.

1:22:46Yeah, it looks like there was at least a kickback of a bedroom or two. Yeah, that might be some kind of presidential clause. Yeah, Bobby Kennedy's always up there. He always talks about it and just growing up there. Yeah, they have the, what is it, Kenny? Kenny Bunkport? There it is. Is that their whole thing? Yeah, so you cross a little bridge out of Martha's Vineyard into a tinier island that's called Hyannisport? Yes. That's where Ted Kennedy crashed. No. Yeah. Oh, man. There's not a single stoplight on the whole island. Yeah. It's just all stop signs. Do you think they'd put one in after what happened to Ted Kennedy?

1:23:25You would think they would have put cameras everywhere. Yeah, dude. Oh, I can't believe that. Yeah, I can't even imagine you pull up and somebody's just making salmon or whatever on the porch. Fresh salmon they just hossed in. But, yeah, I think maybe your money thing is a little bit like you'd be betraying. It's just interesting to see what it's like. Okay, well, I never had any money. Now I have some money. Yeah. What's this like, you know? I mean, the nicest part is being able to eat whatever you want. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's the best, dude. And you go to a restaurant and you know that you can pay the tab if your friends want to eat.

1:24:02Yeah, the two, there's three things that will make me feel rich. Because I was in L.A. for 10 years trying to get a job acting in Clinton. So I was living on eight grand a year for like a decade in Santa Monica. So, like, I could never order pizza. I wanted pizza so fucking bad. I could just barely stay drunk on my budget. And then I had to really be entertaining to the dudes who had Coke. But where was I going with that? 8 ,000. Oh, so now when I order pizza, I'm like, yeah, four. My wife said, we need one. I'm like, we'll get four. We'll get four. And I feel so rich that I can order any fucking amount of pizzas I want.

1:24:44The other thing is I go to the gas station, and I'm not even sure what it is a gallon. and I love that feeling. I used to fill up my fucking Honda Civic like halfway. Yeah. And if it was 10 cents more, I was stressed. So just getting gas, I feel like a bazillionaire. Yeah. And then the other thing is a second fridge with beverages in it. That's what like kids I grew up with that were rich. They had another fridge in their garage with all kinds of beverages. So those three things have me feeling like a Rockefeller. Dude, we had this cereal closet. We ate cereal probably, I would say, 400 nights a year.

1:25:23Okay. Uh-huh. And I remember we had this cereal closet, and sometimes if you were hungry, my mom would literally put you in there. There was no light in there. There was 26 boxes of cereal in there. And she'd be like, don't come out until you are full. And you'd just go in there in the dark and fucking eat cereal. And would you eat it with milk in a bowl? No, you just fucking get your hand in there and enjoy yourself like a fucking man, boy. Right, right. But that kind of shit I loved, man. They just said, I just saw something the other day about the endless shrimp. They were having people ruined it.

1:25:54Oh, how? They were losing money. Oh. Yeah. Red lobster. Oh, here it is. Endless shrimp is financially ruining red lobster. I lived for a fucking endless anything when I was broke. Yeah, endless tits. Dude, my fucking buddy's mom had. I remember that broke for sure, dude. Oh, she had those. Yeah, you had to get up early and feed those tits. Those things had milk in them, you know? Lobster. In an earnings report in early November, Ludovic Regis. Oh, my God. They lost$11 million keeping shrimp out. Let me see. I think, like, every company in the world is now operating like a startup. They think it's a good idea to just be hemorrhaging money the whole time and just grow, grow, grow.

1:26:42They're like, fuck it. We'll worry about this later. We need more Red Lobsters on every corner. The Thai Union Group, which owns Red Lobster, announced that its ultimate endless shrimp deal, which is normally a limited time offer, but was added to the daily menu in June. Wow. Was it exceedingly popular? So popular it caused the restaurant to post an operating loss of more than$11 million. How would you not, after a week, look at the books and be like, hey, the shrimp has to end? Yeah. I don't know how it took them to the end of the year. We want to keep it on the menu, the guy says. And, of course, we need to be much more careful regarding what are the entry points and what is the price point we're offering.

1:27:23Now, for$25, guests can choose two shrimp-centric options. When they are ready for more, they can order additional shrimp selections. We had a place called The Big Shrimp over there. And people would go there and fucking they had a— Ooh, Cheddar Bay Biscuits, though. Oh, those things are good. Those are incredible. Do you remember the first time you ate at Red Lobster? Mine's crystal clear. We had a place called The Big Shrimp. Oh, okay. And it was not a Red Lobster, and they had a huge – they had like a stuffed shrimp mascot or whatever outside on Friday night. And people would always just drive by and just like call them a homosexual or whatever.

1:28:04It was pretty sad, you know, and they shouldn't have, but we did it. So it was like – Yeah, yeah. It was just that kind of shit. I try to explain to people, like, when I grew up littering, not only was littering, it wasn't a thing. Littering? Littering. Yeah. Like, my mom's a good person, and we would stop. Like, sometimes we would drive to Toronto. As soon as we got over the bridge in Windsor, we would stop at McDonald's because they had special Canadian bacon. And we'd get everything right, and we'd be driving in the car, and we'd, like, all eat, and then we'd pack the bag back up. My mom would roll out the window and just shove the whole thing out.

1:28:38And no one ever, like, it was a non-thing. It was like she spit out the window. Yes, it was. In 1982, every third car was shoving an enormous bag of fucking trash out their window. And no one thought about it. Like, my mom's not a heathen. Yeah, no. She would never do that now. I would never do that now. But, yeah, you just, every time you were done with something in your car, you'd be like, right out the window. Didn't care. Cigarettes, the whole nine. It was so liberating. I miss it. Yeah. Oh, there was definitely something nice about back then. Oh, yeah. Natural Resources and Environmental Protection Act.

1:29:17Causing litter. They made it illegal in Michigan in 1994. Wow. Well, there you go. 94, I'm talking about 82 going to Toronto. I'm sure the Canadians were ahead of us a little bit, but probably not until 89. This is when nature was looking for a sip of orange soda. Yeah, maybe we told ourselves, like, the deer eat that bag and everything. They'll eat it all right up. yeah that was fun man i remember um yeah i remember my buddy william's dad would take us to mcdonald's sometimes and getting that orange soda i'm not good at tasting when you're a kid it's never tasted as good it's still good but it's not yeah there's nothing like when you're a kid and you're drinking orange soda and having a hamburger do you remember the enormous they had like these um barrel coolers like a kid might have a birthday party and they'd get the mcdonald's barrel cooler with the orange soda in it no i never saw that oh yeah i went to a couple birthday parties that had that just like a keg of orange soda oh is it even soda it's an orange drink it's orange something yeah oh there it is you don't recognize that i never saw that by the way that'd be a cool retro thing to have at the house that'd be so sick man i might add that to the list of a extra fridge with drinks and then a mcdonald's barrel i remember getting um my mom would always She's like, you guys should study the menu and make sure you get, like, the best thing or whatever.

1:30:38And we're like, what the fuck are you talking about? Like, we're at fucking McDonald's. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That would have been a McDLT when I was a kid. She always tried to make it so fancy or whatever. And afterwards, sometimes we would go to get a dessert somewhere else at this cookie shop. And they had, like, regular cookies that were kind of for kids. And they had a couple of cookies that were, like, for adults. It's like maybe like eclair, but just like fancy looking. Cannoli? Yeah, just shit like that was not for kids. Right, right, right. And every now and then you would get one and you would just, oh, a biscuit or whatever that's.

1:31:15Biscotti. Biscotti. The perfect trap. It looks like it's good. You get it and it's fucking horrible. And you hate yourself for the rest of the day. Oh, yeah. That is terrible. I was thinking of something else for a second. Every time I got a biscotti, I just wanted to fucking climb inside of my own dick, man. I hated biscotti. And I still hate it. The second you put it in your mouth, you're completely parched. It's just like a sponge. And you have to pretend it's good to your siblings and they're enjoying their shit. Right, they're fancy. Yes, they're enjoying their legitimate cookie. Back to the money, though.

1:31:49Yeah. Did you covet it or was it something you never were that obsessed with? No, I think, I mean, obviously I think everybody, you want to have some success. There's varying levels, though. Like, I've met kids that grew up in the same way I did, and they're not obsessed with it. I don't know how. My wife has zero interest in money. Yeah. None. She doesn't think about it, could care less. I can't relate to that at all. But it's not like she grew up rich. She's from Michigan, too. I don't like being taken advantage of. So I do like to do business, I guess, as well as I can. You know? so that kind of thing you know but I guess my thing is just like well if I have so money then what am I supposed to do with it well you're supposed to save it so you're safe right so that when you can't do this anymore and they knock on the door and go this was a big mistake we should have never been letting you do this which they probably will soon do you live with that fear I do like I record in the attic of my house and I'm just always for armchair you do yeah yeah wow that's cool there's a garage that's like separate and then above it is a little attic.

1:32:53It's like 105 years old. And I'm always waiting to hear like, hey, we're so sorry, but you didn't really think you could have something this good and successful, right? It's like, you know, you don't deserve this, right? And I'd be like, yeah, I guess you're right. I think that sounds right. Yeah, there was some bad paperwork or whatever. I had this, the first house. Oh yeah, that's a picture of the attic. Why am I so close? Oh, that's like the maybe first episode. Yeah. I'm sitting way too close to Ashton. I don't even have a lazy boy up there yet, but that's The Attic. Oh, that was Ashton Kim on Y 'all's podcast?

1:33:30Or there's Pete Wentz. See, now I've got, but also I was so close. Pete Wentz is from the music. Fall Out Boy. Yeah. But now we got lazy boys and we're pretty separated. Do you still want to do acting and stuff? Do you like, you've been in some cool movies with Josh Duhamel. He's a buddy of mine. Oh, he is? That makes sense. Yeah, he's a neat guy. Yeah, I love him. He's a very for real person. Yeah. Yeah. He's a special dude. He's almost afflicted with being so handsome. It's maddening. I did a movie. I met him because we all did a movie together when in Rome. He was playing my wife's love interest, and I was playing an underwear model.

1:34:15And, yeah, I was like, look at this guy. He's probably never thought about how his hair looks. He's never even thought about it. He's never thought about if he was in good shape. He's just in great shape. It looks so effortless. You know, a lot of people look very self-conscious when they look good. Or they put some effort into it. It's like, this guy's trying to not look great, and it's not possible. He's the real deal. And he's a big boy. Look at him. He's a big guy. What is he, 6 '4", maybe? 6 '70", or something. 6 '75". And look at those streaks of gray, my God. Yeah, he's almost a fly. I have some friends that are good looking and they're like, no.

1:34:57But Josh is almost afflicted with me. He's like almost afraid to show his face. He's trying to downplay it. Yeah, he's so modest about it. All I would do is walk up and down the street and then see if girls turned and looked at me. That's all I would do. I couldn't be trusted with that level of handsomeness for sure. I did enough wreckage not looking like that but then you wonder because I have a couple friends that are so fucking good looking and they've always been so good looking and girls have always liked them and they're not they seem a little disinterested and being in women yeah not like they're gay just they're like it's kind of a given like for you and I we see someone we're like oh that girl would never like me I'm going to make her laugh and I'm going to put on a show and I'm going to do this and I'm going to go dance and I'm going to do all this.

1:35:44And like there's, maybe I could, maybe I could get in there. Yeah. It's like a huge challenge. Yeah, I'm going to learn French. I remember all that shit. Yeah. And then an enormous reward if you get it. But I think they look and they're like, yeah, that gal would like me. Of course she would. Every girl so far has liked me. So there's no challenge. Being undefeated with women. That'd be crazy. The craziest, also if you're so good looking, if you want to see something good looking, just look in the mirror like, yes why get a whole other person why involve yes totally why inconvenience yourself just hold up a fucking mirror in bed dude that's exactly do you remember being a kid and you're like your hair would look good like i had all these collics yeah me too i hated how i look we looked at that picture of me the collics are everywhere right so once in a blue moon my hair would feather correctly yeah and i was just looking at me like fuck I'd give anything if my hair would stay like this forever like I remember trying to make deals with God like this is fine like if this is the hair I have to just keep it like this forever I don't ever need to change it we got this we finally got our the feather looks right and it was oh it was a girl I was so ashamed I think I was so I just had no self-confidence if a girl looked at me I literally couldn't fucking handle it you could I had to be like, I must look fucking horrible.

1:37:11I spent as much time as I could going into the bathroom making sure I looked at least decent. And I had the worst acne. And the acne, the kind where if you smiled... Some would pop. Yeah, like... So then you're just sitting there like this. You could like, you sneeze and fucking... Oh, this is hilarious. Oh, man. Fog, bro. It's so dumb. That's such a bummer. I didn't... I had pimples. I had a good amount, but I didn't have... I don't think you call it like acne. Oh, I had the kind that were like so... Cystic? Yeah, they were like in your bones or something. Sure, you had to go see a surgeon. What the fuck?

1:37:46And metastasize into your bones. Oh, and they gave you, all they had was... Your back hurt. It was so severe. All they had was oxy pads, right? Yeah. And they burned your face. They made your whole face fucking burn, right? Yeah, and you'd scrub. Oh, you would scrub and you'd like tomorrow's... You feel so guilty. It's gotta be your fault. You gotta like pain yourself. Yeah, that was it. I never thought about it. I thought it was my fault or something. And you would just scrub and you would be like, tomorrow this is going to be so much better. It just made it way oilier and way worse. It was fucking...

1:38:19Then they took you to get this shit. There was this yellow stuff you would put on and had this blotter. From the doctor? Yes, we went to the doctor. And it made all your skin peel off of your face. It was like an acid wash. So then people were like, this guy doesn't have acne. This guy was in a fire. Yeah. This guy's a zombie. Yeah, this guy. His skin's peeling off. Oh, man. It's rough being a kid, isn't it? It was so rough. And then sometimes you'd wake up and one of your arms was a little longer. You'd be like, what the fuck?

1:39:00or you'd see your buddy and his fucking chin would be like seven inches long what the fuck it was last week having an ian that was me between eighth grade and ninth grade so again i had this cool muir junior high i have my basketball physical i had to take to do eighth grade basketball and then i have the ninth grade one i did not make the team in ninth grade but in In eighth grade, I was 5 '11 and 159. Tall. And then in ninth grade, I was 6 '3, 149. So I lost 10 pounds. Meth. Grew four inches. I had a terrible, I was still following my brother's directions. And he was in a perm phase, so he convinced me to get a perm on top.

1:39:46And it was super long in back. Really? Yeah. I had a perm on top. And it was crazy long. The back wasn't perm, right? So it was just fucking straight. But up top had a lot of body. And then my nose just got huge. And my chin retracted. And I got super tall and skinny. And I was just like. And I went to a new high school. From like. What a creature. You were a creature. I was. I crawled out of a swamp. And I had life so good at Muir. Like girls liked me. I had a ton of friends. And then I just showed up at this other high school. and I look fucking nuts. John Muir, junior high. Is it based on the John Muir Trail or no?

1:40:28That's the Redwoods guy. No, mine is Margaret E. Muir. I think we're confusing Muirs. My school is Margaret E. Muir in Milford, Michigan, which I heard, sadly, they just closed down. You know, I've never wanted to go to a high school reunion, but I got the idea last year. I'm like, I want to host a junior high reunion because that was the sweet spot. Yeah, junior high was, dude. It was so fun. I had a Spree. Do you remember Sprees? Sprees the candies? No. This might be me being five years older. It was a moped, a Honda Spree. And I lived miles away from my friends. So it's like all of a sudden I had a Spree.

1:41:05My dad bought it for me in a drunken stupor. He felt bad about something and bought it for me. Oh, yeah. And so there's a Spree. My dad used to get us hot dogs all the time. That was his I'm sorry's. Sometimes you'd come in and there'd be like six hot dogs for you Because he would get He would drink too He would drink and he would park his He had like a thunderbird or something He would park it in the ditch a lot of times Outside of our house And I think our mom actually dug the ditch so he would land in it They were kind of at odds But I had that black spree you saw With a very sexy purple writing So I was like I was mobile in 7th grade I could go anywhere That one in the upper corner.

1:41:46Look how sexy that thing is. So I was, by the way, that vanilla colored one's really good looking. That's beautiful. Now that I'm older and more mature, I would like that vanilla one. But I could ride everywhere. I had girlfriends. I could go to their houses while their parents were at work. It was such a perfect time. Dude, I remember they had a girl that lived close enough to me, and I remember walking down there one time because she would kind of sometimes let people touch her breasts or whatever. Yeah, yeah. And I loved it. I think this is rural shit that people don't really relate to. Yeah.

1:42:19But I think we heard her. It wasn't. Yeah, she'd be like, hey, come over and touch my brain. There were a lot of girls like that in my time. Yeah. And this girl was big, like big bone, like built like a tree almost. And so you could run and hide behind her like that with a buddy, you know, like on different sides of her, you know? And she just had the hardest chest and tits and everything. I remember a guy used to be like, I can't even. Way hard. Just. Help me out with that adjective. Oh, they were just very rock hard. Yeah, really? She was just she was a lot mostly bone probably in her sternum in her breast.

1:42:51Maybe. Oh, she was fucking a real she was mostly sternum. She was tusks. Oh, yeah. You're Michigan and Milford are about 100 miles from each other. But that is where Billy strings from. You're Michigan. Oh, population six sixty. Oh, so that's a city. So my mirror is a junior high in that I went to. Okay, got it. Margaret E. Muir. But anyways, so I had this fantasy, and I'm still best friends with my best friend who I met at Muir Junior High in sixth grade, Aaron Weekly. And so we, both of us, that was the highlight of our life. He's a recovering addict, too. Yeah. We went hard together. Oh, Gary.

1:43:27He stretched it out another 14 years. I don't know how he did it. Oh. Woo. But we wanted to throw this thing, but we had to consider, like, certainly a lot of guys are going to want to kick our ass at this thing. Oh, the Junior High thing? Yeah, from my town. Yeah. There's certainly some dudes who are not thrilled that I grew up and married Kristen Bell. Maybe they wanted to kick my ass in junior high, but a lot of dudes got enormous. You think so? Prison, yeah. You think some people would really be upset, you think? Yeah, I'm pretty certain of it. So then we were like, how are we going to have this thing and not have to fight?

1:44:03We don't want to do that, but it seems highly likely. Have you been to a high school reunion? and did any guy get pissed? Yeah, I've been to stuff like that. We did a nice dinner recently. Yeah, there is something you just don't want people to feel that you're different than them, you know? That's one of my biggest things is just trying to make sure that my buddies and stuff, as much as I can, don't feel that I think I'm different than them. Yeah, you think you're better. Yeah, and to try to check my thoughts, too, and see what's going on with me so that I'm cognizant of that. My ego is one of my biggest fears, you know?

1:44:37Because it grows. You don't even know it's growing. Next thing you know, you're just a complete asshole. Like I will be stressed out and be angry sometimes, but I don't know if I get into the ego space as much, but I get into the overwhelmed space a lot. But yeah, I think a lot of my friends from where I'm from have been pretty stoked about just podcasts and the people we get to talk to and stuff like that. Oh, dude, I was thinking of you on Friday because I watched the Ric Flair doc. Oh, yeah. the 30 for 30 on Ric Flair. And I was like, oh, right. I remember you had him on. That was unbelievable.

1:45:14Unreal. Just being able to, yeah, spend time with a piece of your own life like that. Uh huh. Like Michael Landon, I would love to spend time with, but he's dead. And, uh, that's your dude, Michael Landon. Yeah. That's an interesting choice. I love Michael Landon. We loved him. He was supposed to come to our town. He was supposed to come to the rodeo once, but he didn't show up or whatever. My mom was all pissed because she even went down there to see him. She did. okay this is kind of psychological and you want to well I think he was first to come what project did you fall in love with Michael Landon from?

1:45:50Highway to Heaven? both at the same time Highway to Heaven with Victor French and then also with Victor French when he was on Little House on the Prairie I met Nellie Olsen one time at Chase what a fucking head of hair my goodness that's amazing you kind of do you think you're subconsciously trying to have the same hair? Maybe today I am a little bit. The hair is fucking... My Lord, what I would have done with that hair. Oh, dude, I'm not even gay and I would have definitely kissed this dude. That guy's beautiful. I would have done whatever he wanted to do if he would have let me just do this through the top of the hair.

1:46:27Like, what's the price? That dude's better looking than 80 % of the girls I've ever dated. Which is crazy. do you enjoy podcasting more now like what do you feel like for yourself how free did you get when that started because you started podcasting a lot of people weren't doing it yeah but I also felt late to it like there were like Maren was already there Chris Hardwick was already huge like I definitely felt like I'm a poser that I'm starting a podcast we just had our 6 year anniversary last week you're beyond that I looked at you. You've been podcasting for like eight years. Oh, wow. Minimally.

1:47:06Eight? Jesus Christ. Yeah, so you were already doing it. I felt self-conscious like, oh, this is so embarrassing. I'm about to do this. Was it embarrassing in your acting world or in that Hollywood world? Did it feel like kind of a weird thing to do kind of? Because sometimes, you know, people are always a little weary sometimes. I think they're less weary now, but people at the, I think, five or six years ago. Felt like it was below. Yeah, just like, what am I doing, you know? I didn't have that fear. I had more the fear of like, what does Maren think? What does Chris Hardwick think? Like the people who have already done it and proven, what does Rogan think?

1:47:43Like this is embarrassing that I'm now trying to hop into this thing that they've all been doing for years. But weirdly, yeah, now people will act like I was somehow early because then, of course, there was a much bigger wave after we started. But I love it so much. I don't have any desire to act. I haven't acted in a couple years, I guess, now. I'm so fulfilled. I am on four shows a week, and I produce six shows a week. Oh, wow. I didn't know you guys were doing all of that. Yeah. So it's very, like, consuming. Well, thank you so much for taking the time today, dude. Oh, my God. I wanted to be on so bad.

1:48:19That's awesome, man. But I love it. Do you love it? Yeah, I love it. I just love it. I love wanting to learn more. I love the scary part. I think I've evolved as a human because of it. which is like I was kind of happy where I was. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It was working just fine. Yeah, I think I was enjoying myself, and it's like I don't know if I've gotten like – I mean, I've just learned. You can't help but learn more from listening to people, you know. Well, I do – so Mondays on our show is celebrities, and then Thursdays is experts, so like scientists and fucking startup people. You name it.

1:48:56Bill Gates has been on. Wow. Well, who was last? You just saw I had that Pulitzer Prize winning author who's written this book on communication. So Thursdays is constantly someone really challenging that's super duper smart. And yeah, I feel like I'm still at college, but I don't ever have to go to class. I don't have to write an exam paper. I just, the smartest people in the world come. Bill Gates has sat down and chatted with me. What was he like, dude? Because he gets such a rap. Everybody thinks he's like this lizard. He thinks that people think he has children in his basement and he's drinking them of adrenal chrome to stay young.

1:49:40Which is so comical because I've both interviewed him a couple times. And just look at him. It's not working. He's aging very expectedly. Like if Bill Gates looked 36, I could see where you would have that conspiracy theory. but he looks fucking his age. Wow, yeah. Right? God bless him. He looks exactly how he should. What does he seem like? I think I get worried when people have so much control. That's the one thing that I think about, like wealth and stuff. It's like I feel like they should put a cap on how much wealth and control somebody could have. Because here's what I wondered is, say if one person makes so much money, does that mean other people don't have that money to make?

1:50:20No. So that's, I think a lot of people have this zero sum thought of how the economy works, but that's not the case. People invent shit and grow the economy. So like my favorite biography I've ever read in my life, everyone should read it. It's called Titan. It's about John D. Rockefeller and it's about him building standard oil. And so this dude, John D. Rockefeller, when he became a hundred millionaire, that had never existed. Wow. The economy was so small at that point that I think they say that out of every dollar that existed in America, he had like 50 cents of it. Wow. So all these inventions, all these products, they all just swell it.

1:51:04So it kind of has an infinite ceiling. But I think people think of it as like we're at a ceiling and they got this. But that's not actually our GDP swells and swells and swells and everyone has. But John D. Rockefeller took all that money, and he started mid-career, like in his 40s. He was like, I want to solve everything now. The South, what's going on in the South? Oh, people think Southerners are lazy. Why do they think they're lazy? He deploys a team of scientists. They figure out, oh, like 40 % of the people in the South have hookworm from walking barefoot. When hookworm gets in your body, it overtakes your intestines.

1:51:44It saps all your energy. They have no energy because they're not taking in the nutrients from their food. He's like, we got to eradicate hookworm from the South. Worms were stealing the vitamins? Just this growth inside your intestines prevented the nutrients from absorbing. So he sends out a team of people to educate everyone in the South to A, wear shoes. And then there's a very simple cure for it, which is like, I think, an iodine regiment. So he also sets up free iodine regiment to get rid of. He eradicates hookworm. There was no such thing as research science before John D. Rockefeller. He's like, all we have is these doctors.

1:52:18They graduate from all these different schools. No one knows what degree is what. There's no standard. And then he said, well, what's the best medical facility in the world? It's Johns Hopkins Hospital. He paid them to come up with a curriculum, and then he went to every medical school in America and said, I will pay you if you adopt this curriculum so that our doctors all have a standard level. of aptitude. So he created that. And then he created medical research that didn't exist, where scientists are in a lab actually studying pathogens and coming up with... So he spent his whole life... At the point that he died, he had probably saved more Americans than any other human being.

1:53:00Bill Gates is Rockefeller. You should watch the doc, Bill's Brain, on Netflix. Does he seem... He might have autism or something. Does it seem like it, maybe? That seems like he probably has some divergence. My friend said he has it. Yeah. I'm not qualified to diagnose it, but my guess is he's probably on some spectrum of some neurodivergence. Yeah. Now, what is that? I don't know. Well, and a lot of people are now some of the greatest. It's almost like where we're heading as a species is people that have some form of autism are now able to capitulate or something or conceptualize the next thing that we need as a society or something that the rest of us can't do.

1:53:38It's almost crazy how something that 20 years ago was considered probably more of a deficit is now considered like, if this guy doesn't have a little bit of autism, we're not letting him near the counter, you know? Well, I just, my guest I interviewed last Friday, it hasn't aired yet, but she is a neurodivergent expert. She herself is neurodivergent, which was a really interesting interview because I've never really interviewed someone that was just very open about that. What does it mean, neurodivergent? So that could be dyslexia, ADHD, autism, hyperlexia. You know, there's a bunch of things that would.

1:54:13It just means that you're not, quote, the normal. Right. But one in five people in America is neurodivergent. Really? Yeah. So 20 % of us are. I am because I'm dyslexic, so I qualify for that. But, yes, she was saying the things that a lot of neurodivergent people add to a company is like they don't fall for group thinking. I see what's going on. They're like they don't mind pointing out that, no, no, that's actually not right. There's like some helpful disagreeability that they just they don't get along. They don't they've been so on the outside growing up. They're so used to that dynamic of feeling awkward and people not embracing them that for them to point out the clear, obvious thing in the room is no problem.

1:55:01It's easy for them. Yeah. Because they've been sitting there watching the whole time anyway. Top five most valuable companies in the world right now. Autism. Well, Microsoft, Bill Gates. I don't know. He's probably neurodivergent. Probably 20%. Elon Musk is admittedly autistic. Google, Sergey, and the other gentleman. I don't know. But, you know, these are all... Bezos, definitely. He's coming up a little bit tismed out. And then that other guy, what's the last one? It's not Baskin-Robbins. What's in, like, another huge company? Oh, Berkshire Hathaway. Yeah, maybe. Warren Buffett. Warren Buffett.

1:55:37Now, he seems just, like, kind of old-fashioned. Although, there's a great doc on him, too, Warren Buffett. Yes, it's fascinating. I've got to watch some more of these, man. And talk about a dude that's kind of living the way you... He was forever the richest man in the world. He drives the same 1987 Cherokee that he's always had. He lives in the same 5 ,000-square-foot brick home he bought in Omaha, Nebraska when he and his wife got married. You're like, what's the point of having all this money? But he, again, I'm not a fucking doctor. I'm not going to label him something. But in the doc, he can sit at his kitchen table and just go through a pile of documents like this.

1:56:16And he's fascinating reading these spreadsheets and doing this analysis. And when his wife left at some point, she wanted to spend time on the West Coast. She told her neighbor friend, will you check in and make sure he eats? Because he'll forget to eat. He won't eat. So that woman started coming over and making him dinner. And then she moved in. No way. And now they're lovers. And then the original wife, everyone was happy. The original wife died of cancer. He was with her a lot. And then he's still with this woman. and you're like, this is a cool doc. I mean, who knows what. Wow, that's interesting.

1:56:49I didn't know that about him. I got to do some more learning, man. Well, you have more time than you've probably ever had. Yeah. The last 18 months. Yeah. We want to get her on. You had her on Brene Brown. Oh, yeah, yeah. I want to talk to more people that are good about thinking about, like, navigating, like, different things, like grief, shame, stuff like that. Like, I want to have some other aspects of that, you know. Well, Brene Brown, her like knockout punch sentence that stuck with me is guilt is I did something bad. Shame is I am something bad. And like, that's a great thing to run through my head when I'm spiraling.

1:57:29Like, what am I actually feeling right now? Are you afraid you'll like potentially lose some of your audience by going down that road? No, not at all. Oh, that's good. I think people are curious about stuff, you know, and I'm curious. Yeah. You know, I think one of the reasons I was so late, I got on antidepressants when I was 20. And so I didn't realize that that kept so many of my feelings in a fucking cage that because one of the few years ago, I was like, dude, why am I having it feel like so much more feelings than some other people sometimes? And then I was like, oh, because you've regularly been on that medicine for 17 years, you know?

1:58:04And so you got it. Well, also fucked up, right? Yeah. And in part of it. At least, like, yeah, not in recovery, not getting to be able to get a little bit of a glance of myself. But what was your preferred substance? Cocaine. Yeah. Oh, yeah. What a drug. I just had Bateman on last week. Oh, I love him. He's fascinating to look at. He has one of those faces. You can tell why he's an actor because it's just the most everything about it is so engaging and interesting. Yes. You could just stare at it. Yeah. It's interesting when you're just like he just. Yeah. Do some thinking for me, Bateman. I'll watch.

1:58:37take your time too yeah yeah but he was a hoover admittedly uh loved to party yeah yeah yeah and so we were talking and i said do you ever do you ever i said i'm not gonna do this but i was directing chips and i was talking to an actor on the uh movie and she said that she and her boyfriend had gone and stayed at cocaine hotel in columbia i was like cocaine hotel what's cocaine hotel. She's like, it's a, it's, do you know about the cocaine hotel? It's everywhere. It's on the tables everywhere you go in the rooms at the thing. It's a, it's a hotel to do cocaine. And I said, do you ever Bateman, do you ever think about just spending a few days down at cocaine?

1:59:19He's like, well, I don't know. I mean, there's so much shit in Coke now. And I said, no, no, I think this is farm to table Coke. I think the guys are stomping on it in the backyard and And then bringing it in a dustpan and then dropping it off. I think this is as medicinal and pure as it is. Well, that's what we need in this country. Dude, make Coke great again. Farm to table. We need farm to table cocaine. We do. You got your vegetables. We did that. You got your farm to table vegetables. Now let's. It's sad that a kid can't get some decent cocaine in this country. It really is. Yeah. You knew you were going to be huffing some baby laxative and some acetylene or whatever.

1:59:55You knew that. But now it's different. But Dax, we'll have to catch up again sometime, man. Yeah, yeah. I would love it. I'd love to have you on ours as well. Yeah, man. I'd love to come on, dude. I appreciate that. We'll take a little break. We'll recharge. We'll get curious about each other again. Think about some things that we could investigate. I don't want to have too high hopes. About Nashville? You know what they say in our program? Expectations are resentments under construction. You know that one? Yeah. That's a good one. Do you like it? Yeah. I like that. Expectations are resentments under construction.

2:00:25Yeah. But with that said, I'm still going to allow myself to have really huge expectations. We got to get out on a fucking boat on the lake. Dude, now that's some fun stuff. Some barbecuing on a fucking pontoon boat. Good fishing out there. What else is there? Cannonballs. People are so nice, too. It's very nice. It's a small city. It doesn't feel like super big. What side of town do you live? Do you live by Franklin? No, I live just right on the edge of town of Nashville. Meade? Nine minutes from downtown. You don't want to tell anyone? I don't live in Bellmead. No, I just live in like, it's called, what is my neighbor called?

2:01:04Oak Hill or something. Okay. There's not a real hill there, but I think there used to be, but somebody stole it or something. But it's good. I got nice neighbors and I got, you know, but the zoning there is getting a little bit weird. They're just, but, you know, it's a city in progress. I love it. I love it. Yeah. I'm excited. I go down there and I'm like, oh yeah. People are still happy to be in this country. And they're having fun. Yeah. And I miss that. Do you miss, was there a reason that you wanted to not, or take a break from acting or not act? Was there like a, were things not as funny as it used to be?

2:01:38Or was there? Yeah. I was on the verge of telling you this thing. I would have not put all this together, but I had this guest on, Adam Grant. He's a behavioral psychologist at Wharton. He writes a bunch of shit. He's like a thinker. We've had him on a few times. and I was we were talking about my story was okay I spent two and a half years making chips it came out it didn't open well and I was like fuck what are we doing now I thought for sure I'd be writing directing for the next 10 years that was my identity I'm a writer director blah blah blah and I'm like what are we doing now and then I was depressed and then I started the podcasts in the mists of all that right and I was the my story was like yeah be flexible don't get too set on something if something shows up like just run at it and see what happens and he said well do you think these things are so different and I go yeah a podcast and acting and shit yeah I think that's a lot different and he said well what's your favorite part of acting I was like I was like, hanging out at Video Village and shooting the shit with the other actors and the directors and the writers.

2:02:42That's my favorite part of Hollywood. All these people have moved from some town. They were on fire, and I get to hang with them. Shooting the shit at Video Village, where they watch playback and everything. Yeah, videos where after you do a shot, you'll go there and just look at the shot with the director sometimes. And he'll say, you did this and blocked him there. She'll say, don't walk over there. Whatever it is, I said, that's what I love about acting. and he said, well, don't you think you've just made Video Village in your attic? Like, don't you just sit here and now actress come over and you do your favorite part of acting, which is like shooting the shit at Video Village?

2:03:18I was like, oh, damn, I guess that is what happened. I kind of weeded out all the stuff. I didn't want to do wardrobe fittings and auditions and all this stuff, and now I just get my favorite part, which is like hanging with other creative people and chatting. Yeah, dude, that's cool. Yeah, that's interesting because, yeah, sometimes I get, people will talk about, do you want to do this? Do you want to do that? And sometimes there may be like a friend or two you want to do something cool with. But the best thing about it would be that you get to hang out with that friend. The other shit would just get in the way of the hang.

2:03:47Yeah, it feels like a nightmare, some of it. You're like, well, I just want to, you know. Yeah, I don't want to talk to a second AD about a wardrobe fitting across town for two hours. Yeah, I just want to hang with David Spade and fucking cut up. Dude, I'd love to come on sometime, man. Yeah, let's do it. I appreciate you making time for us today, dude. and I know we're kind of all over the place, but we're just getting to know each other. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We'll do another one that's more cohesive, maybe. I doubt we'll. Maybe not, though. I bet we'll be able to make that happen. I'm already in my head thinking about 26 stories I started that I never finished.

2:04:17Like, why I didn't buy the house in Michigan? I was going to buy a lake house in Michigan. Man, fuck that. Yeah, I can think of a bunch of stuff. I'm sure when I listen back, I'll be like, dude, you should have figured some stuff out, man. All right, well, this is off to a raucous start. Yeah. I can only imagine what's going to happen in Nashville. I mean, my lord. Well, you have a family. I don't. So, yeah, I'll probably just be milling around in y 'all's yard. Yeah, but we'll get out on the pontoon with some shotguns and start slinging skeet. I shot my first shotgun out there. In Nashville? Yeah, Kid Rocks.

2:04:49I was in the backyard. He'll have a bunch of people over sometimes, and they had a fucking skeet thing. He just kept shooting it off the cliff, and we were just popping them off. It was cool. But, yeah, it's a fun place, man. Just a lot of nice people there Yeah Dax Shepard, thanks so much, man Oh my god, thanks for having me Yeah, I appreciate it, bro Nice to meet you You too

2:05:30But it's gonna take