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34:11Born without one. Wow. Minus$250 ,000 when I was born. That's how much a kidney costs. I looked it up the other day. Is it? $250 ,000. Gosh. Quarter mil. Quarter ticket there. Would you get one? If we could get you one? Yeah, I would take one. You would? I would take one. If they don't need it or something, yeah, I would like to have two. I don't know if I have one mega one or if there's just a blank spot in the middle of my gut. Or they're back here. um yeah i don't know does it feel any different than the other side or whatever sometimes if i don't drink water it hurts to pee but i don't know if that's my kidney or my wiener you gotta get some but we gotta get you some water man oh no somebody's got to i've been drinking all day oh yeah i've been i've been working on it i'm trying to trying to fix these things yeah get some oil in the car it's like it's like driving a car without oil my fucking brain's got black smoke in it right now man i'm about to freaking pass out oh my gosh bro we're gonna need to have triple a pull up in here dude yeah um bro you gotta um yeah we gotta get some water in you um what did you play but i saw you playing athletics and um i saw you playing uh football online yeah so you played football i played football but i went to like a private school for a year and i played there and so it's all white huh oh yeah it was uh it was definitely The wide receivers were dual sport athletes in soccer, so it was pretty easy.

35:42120-pound wide receivers, throwing them around. I was pretty thick back then. I was like 205 when I was in. Really? So you were lifting a lot of weights? Yeah. My parents, I have a thing where, especially during school, if they ever gave me, when When I was younger, I would go and like if they put their card on a lunch line, we'd have Chick-fil-A and stuff in there. So I'd get like two or three Chick-fil-A sandwiches. They cut me off. And then like fast forward, went to private school. Part of it is like the meal plan or whatever. Now, I took advantage of it like no other. Why they just they have a lot more unlimited meal kind of style?

36:24It's just like, you know, if I wouldn't pack my lunch, really. So if I would just show up kind of hungry and then fucking kind of mill around like a raccoon between my friends. Yeah. When I was in middle school, there was one kid named Bryce, but he was a nice guy. But if you asked him nicely enough, he'd buy you a chicken sandwich every day. Really? Yeah. Every day? Every day. Mr. Brycey, if he ever sees this. Thank you, Brycey. We'll drop his last name. Yeah. Bryce, thank you. I owe you Chick-fil-A brother for a long time it sounds like oh yeah I was getting how many meals did you pull off that fella probably three sandwiches a week at least 30 weeks and it was probably over the course of five years or four years that's 450 sandwiches man I feel bad now I probably owe him some chicken minis or something I owe him a whole chicken, a whole farm here definitely now I heard the chicken at Chick-fil-A is kind of fucked up so I can't get him back the right way sorry for cussing no there's a lot of people what happened to the chicken at Chick-fil-A let's bring that up and yeah we'll have to do something nice for Bryce man maybe we'll see if we can't get something sent over to him you have his address or anything?

37:44I have no clue I know he's a triplet so we hit one of the three it's more of his pops that I owe he's a great guy but I owe his pops well this is the kind of shit i don't know his pops wiener stutters okay i made three of the same one of these one of these it just dangles a little bit well it just anybody who's making three of the same kid bro like we get it oh yeah quiet down three-headed dragon yeah yeah yeah i don't believe in twins and triplets right where i'm from if people was twins it would make them fight until one of them won you know and that was the one that everybody talked to yeah um what does it say citing diminishing chicken supply chick-fil-a will back off its pledge never to serve chicken that was fed antibiotics wow so instead it will embrace a looser industry standard no antibiotics important to human medicine so i guess it can't have like chicken that's on like i guess a z-pack or whatever or uh some of those chickens probably on xanax now it's 20 24 now well especially some of the flooding in that area i remember when it flooded in our area And my buddy's mom got on pills after that and quit working.

38:58So, yeah, I'm sure a lot of this chicken is... Something to do with the pills. They're probably on Adderall now. That's probably why they're so skinny. They're all out there. Everyone thinks chickens are stupid. They're just wired to shit. They're on 50 milligrams of good stuff there. Oh, they'll make an egg in eight minutes now. They'll cook it for you, too. They'll fucking start putting it on the grill for you. How do you want it? How do you want it, brother? Start flipping that thing. Oh, they're serving it a lot. Yeah, I think that's true. If a chicken's on Adderall, it could serve that egg anyway.

39:34Why don't we cut out the middleman of the chef and get a chicken to serve the egg ready to order? I like that idea. It's probably humane there. I don't care, actually. I eat regs regardless. regardless. I eat a lot of meat. Do you? Well, this would save you time. I mean, I think, imagine you, a chicken can do that boil or scramble would be crazy, I guess. They've got to be able to know how to boil water there. They've been on Earth for as long as we have, so it's pretty... If we could heat their bodies up enough in a safe environment where they don't pass away, but they're able to serve. I like that idea.

40:18We'd buy like a YMCA with a sauna already in there. Put them in the sauna. Let them work out. Let them use the equipment. Maybe give them some library books. I think if we had like TED Talks going 24-7, they'd probably start gaining some information there. Oh, I think there's no way they're not going to pick things up. Oh, they probably pick stuff up without us knowing. Yeah. Little crazy little claws there. Oh, I can only imagine if I were a little fucking chicken. That's the thing about chicken. and they're just like that's how they they're like that then when they're on the Adderall it's like mmm when it turns more like a hummingbird mmm that's all it is they probably that's a good that's a good business plan there we need to trademark that stuff before it's it before it's gone yeah well I'm sure it'll be gone the second somebody hears it they're gonna it's already gone that's the problem with today yeah it's gonna be like the I forget the name of it but probably a war crime to give chickens amphetamines well it's just sad that chick-fil-a is resorting to getting this bootleg chicken and a lot of the chicken has probably been through you know has complex trauma it's probably who knows where it's from probably it could be memphis it could be eastst louis who knows where a lot of these animals are coming from now yeah well from all over all over all over the world there's chicago too oh yeah i mean just some of the us choosing to have different chicken that's going to change everybody.

41:46It's going to change marriages. There are marriages out there that are based solely on the fact that twice a week they eat Chick-fil-A together. That's true. My aunt actually got proposed to in a canes box. She did not like that idea. In a canes? Inside of a canes? Open it up. It was on the Texas toast. No way. Guess what? It was the worst idea. The forever combo? It was a short marriage, though. She's very buried now. Lovely lady. Is she? Yeah. Yes, sir. Happy and, you know. Yeah, I mean, yeah, I think, where were you? Would you do it at a Cane's? What is the best fast food or quick dining, as they like to say, place to get married at, you think?

42:35Is Chili's count? Is Chili's fast? No, that's not fast enough. That's high class dining pass. I mean, it's good food. if you can get liquor there it probably doesn't count well no Chili's is great I think it's just a lot Chili's is a place you can meet women easily I think oh yeah so I think if it's a place you can probably easily meet women that then it's not applicable Chili's kind of reminds me of this is my first time going on Broadway but it's like I see two groups of people it's either super young chicks or super old chicks it's like the young chicks are partying the older people are like going to war museums or something that's how Chick-fil-A is at the bar or not the Chili's is at the bar it's a mixed bag out there Chili's is a great place to go back to in your hometown and make love to someone that you didn't get to talk to in high school rekindle a flame there two for twenty two for twenty get it rolling you know get a nap with it I'll tell you what you ever made love after half and mozzarella sticks shit just sits in you it's like a gumball machine you gotta shake me and twist me to get that shit out of me brother yeah that's love man it's i wonder how many relationships have been started at some of these different types of food chains um chill oh couples are getting engaged at chili's okay so i guess it's a thing now oh it is oh that's good actually because yeah because sometimes it's so hard to decide where to get engaged at and a lot of public parks and everything are very dangerous now.

44:07Yeah. And so, yeah, there's some couples right there getting engaged. Where would you, where would you get engaged? I think I'd go old school. I'd go inside of a McDonald's. That's good. That's a good start. Maybe the drive-thru. Think about it in the drive-thru. Go in when you... Yeah, don't give her much time. That way, if you pop out from behind the drive-thru sign, and she's like, yeah, I would like a McWhatever. Yeah, and you have a proposing with the shit traps? Yeah, and you're like, oh, do you want this McHusband? And you pop out from behind there. That's that Chick-fil-A chicken. That Chick-fil-A chicken makes you make some irrational decisions now.

44:47Or you want this McPrenup, and you just roll out from behind the sign. It's on the receipt. Sign the receipt, lady. Lovely lady, though. Maybe a Waffle House. I bet Waffle House got it. That's got a loyal crowd there. It's like Cracker Barrel. Yeah, Waffle House, I think people would cheer you on as well. They're going to be like, we want this love. We want these MFers. Somebody would yell MFers or even queers at you sometimes. We can bleep that out, but people will yell. We love these queers, even if it's straight people getting married. Oh, here's one right here. We can actually watch this one.

45:20Look at this. Walthouse is a Valentine's Day tradition for John and Julie. Oh, that's cute, huh? That is cute. A real man. Look, baby. It takes a real man to make Walthouse. I'm taking notes here. with Max. Yeah. And I just have one question. Are we? Will you marry me? Wow.

45:43Oh, you put it on a waffle. You guys can't see, but the waiter, who's a male waiter at Waffle House, which you don't even see very often, which you have to pay extra to get, brought it over and it was a ring, a wedding ring, opened in a box on a waffle. That is a way to do it there. Oh. Because here's the thing. You're going to want that waffle a little bit. So you're going to say yes just to get a little bit ahead of that waffle. Yeah. You either got to eat it or you got to frame it or something. Probably turn into something crazy. Yeah. Where would you go, you think? I guess Chili's. That's a good answer, huh?

46:17Chili's. I like Chili's. Maybe, I don't know. I got engaged last weekend at Vegas. So maybe do that again. You got really engaged? It was, I don't know if it's real yet, but it's, we did get, married. She was offered an acceptance. It's a legal contract. I'm going to find out how much money she makes. I'll bring up her ass. There you go. I need a cut on that Snapchat, please. Dang. And is she a Snapchat artist or something? No, fitness lady. Wow. And where'd you meet her online? My brother set me up. Nick Narasino. Oh, yeah. I met Nick. I met him at the fight. Did he set you up with a gal? Yeah, that's what we did the day before.

47:00she wasn't with me at the fight so things are rough sledding rough sledding no bad start out the gate it lots of turbulence like captain sully i hit a geese at takeoff we're we're in the water someone come get us wow but it's uh you know loving loving the married life yeah it seems like it man yeah because um that's a big challenge dude i think is getting married and being willing to be married. I've had friends that get married and then they'll come over the next day and be like, dude, fuck. They'll be like, fuck, man, I'm married. That's why I don't like anything long term. Keep everything month to month.

47:42A month to month contract. That's another business idea there. This heart is month to month. Exactly. I can love you as long as I can think. Yeah, I can love you as long as this electric bill lasts. Oh, yeah. Love you as long as it takes me to get to you By foot, by land or sea Oh, I saw in Vegas you got a Lamborghini Did you really get that? I did get a Lamborghini No way, bro I'll tell you what, it looks pretty there Oh, that's beautiful Steve is such a nice guy, huh? Oh, I love Steve It is awesome He's built with such a unique joy inside of him Yeah, he's a great person to be around He is Yeah It literally is like being around the sun, kind of Yeah It's like the sun just is like hanging out with you You get positive energy off them.

48:28Always good vibes. He surprised you with this? We walked outside to Red Rock and it was sitting out there. I had no clue what was going on. Have you driven it at all? Not yet. It's actually coming from North Carolina and it's going to be in Houston when I get back. No way. Yep. What do you even do with the Lamborghini then? Because if you get home, where are you going to? I'm putting it in my garage. Houston has a lot of potholes. So if I fuck up that A rem or a fender I don't know if I'm Shelling out the cash for that thing I'll just have a Fucked up sports car in there It'll look cool though I think it does I'll just leave the garage open 24-7 Try to get the hot dog walkers You wanna see something?

49:10You wanna see some horses? Yeah if you just sit in there And floor it Oh you did that a couple times It was cool Yeah dude We had a guy that used to ride They had these girls by us That were twins I think Or something was wrong with one of them but they would uh sit on the back of this like mustang it was a convertible and this guy would always drive around like he was cool and then um he one time like uh floored it and they both fell off oh my god yeah it's like those people that do the wheelies on on quads and fall off or yeah yeah that's that's that's a dangerous game there yeah yeah it's a little bit risky man yeah but yeah new car ownership is definitely interesting but a car You can't even hide anywhere, Skit.

49:52Oh, yeah. I'll tell you, the insurance ain't going to be cheap, brother. Not after my first crash, too. What's up, brother? These rates, brother. Yeah. They're like, oh, you totaled a Tacoma. What is the next thing you want on your ticket? It's a Lamborghini, sir. Aviator Lamborghini. Look at that thing. It's got wings on it. That's going to be a big uptick, huh? I know. I'm going to, I'll probably ride it a couple times. or keep it in the neighborhood, just Sunday drive. Yeah, Sunday drive. That's the move. Yeah. Ooh, you could do last laps for like women, like senior citizen women that are like have dementia or whatever.

50:32Oh, yeah. They have that where somebody will come and take them in a, like on a last lap or whatever. Oh, yeah, like a NASCAR little do-around. Yeah, just something, you know, just so the, yeah, so they can feel that, you know, just feel fun, hang their head out the window or whatever. See the sun again? Usually, if they tuck them away in those houses. Just have one last orbit around the neighborhood. You got to go through an airlock to get to grandma. It's usually not a good time. Yeah, one last run through the wind before the Lord brings them home. There's one of it right there. Last lap. 83-year-old man's birthday wish to ride in a Lamborghini comes true.

51:15Dude, you could do this for so many people. I would do that. That all have prunes and oranges and cottage cheese in there for them. All that stuff. And they can hang their head out the window, too. I think it makes them feel good, too. I think that would be wonderful, man. But the only thing about a yellow Lamborghini is it's also a, I think it's kind of like a gay beacon or whatever. Oh, yeah. So it's definitely going to attract a lot of gay men out there. Hey, take any eyeballs. That's the purposes for attention here. That's it. You got to take what you can get. Look at this. They're taking pictures of the car.

51:50They probably got some hot friends. There we go. Everything works out there. Good thing it's black, too. It's black? Yeah. Oh, I thought it was yellow. So we took a picture with that one, and then he's sending me one. Oh, so the one you're getting is black. All black, brother. Yeah, because yellow is, look at there. You go right there, and there's a young man already sitting on that one. Shirtless. Yeah. And that guy is looking to meet another guy, probably. Maybe not. I'm not saying that. probably got tape over his nipples probably chafing chafing i'm just saying because yeah dude i remember the first time we had a gay guy in our neighborhood or a dude we he said he told he was the emt or whatever and he had me and my buddies doing like um cpr on each other right practicing well then there was a fire in our neighborhood and somebody got burned and so somebody's like we got to run over to mr gary's house he's an emt he can help and somebody's like that dude's not an EMT, dude.

52:46He's just kind of, you know, he's just a gay dude that's always perving on people. Dude. Like, oh, shit. Oh, my gosh. That's pretty... Well, then what about these certificates he gave us for CPR? Oh, you're full certified there. Yeah, these bitches aren't worth anything. You gave him more than lips. You gave him a little tongue in there, brother. He's trying to breathe. I didn't do anything. This one kid, William, he was a fucking weirdo. But yeah, we shouldn't have been over there, but it doesn't matter. But he ended up having a vehicle like that, you know? And this other guy named Big Roy would always play Navy with us at his house.

53:19He had one of those big bathtubs. Yeah. Oh, my. A bathtub? And we would play Navy over there. There you go. You got underwater torpedoes. Hey, look. Hey, look. Dude, it was just, yeah. I was just like, I was barely enlisted, so. You were just part-time? Yeah. Coast Guard, I think that is. Yeah, that's it. Coast Guard. He's almost in there. You never left the port. I was Coast Guard, bro. I was in active duty. There you go. Helicopter ride. Swinging that thing around. What else can we talk about? I'll take you for a ride. Are you going to drive it? Well, my first two days are scheduled already.

54:00Got some ladies. Yeah. One of the ladies I'm with right now. Yeah. Oh, she's beautiful. Beautiful ladies. Look at this. Hard at work. Her name is? Well, just not saying. BG. BG, yeah. There we go. um that's a yeah that's a good name and i think she seems like a nice person she is a nice person yeah tell you what i'm fucking light-headed i ate like a bird yesterday eat with her i was trying not to eat too much and you know yeah it was great and do you like yeah what's that like now because you're meeting more ladies and stuff more ladies get to see you yeah has that been kind of nerve-wracking to go from like like were you comfortable like growing up were you comfortable talking with ladies and stuff?

54:44I was not very good. I just always had a group of friends or whatever. And probably had too high hopes with a lot of ladies. So it was usually flying solo. Oh, yeah. But I also, when I go out, I like to go ham, I guess. So it's like I like to move light. You know, moving solo, getting through cracks and stuff like that. That's how you like to travel, kind of? Oh, yeah. I just like to do your own thing. Yeah. Like I just like even before I'm doing something like if like this I like to pace around or something and sort of do that with other people. Yeah. And so now it's a little different though because you can meet it's easier to meet ladies now because they can see you without you having to be you know they get they see you online they see on socials it's easier.

55:28Yeah. And and it's hard to get on Tinder when you're sketch or whatever because then it's like. It's like a How do you get on Tinder with your with a persona or whatever. Right. Yeah. That's why I'm talking to all the ladies from where I live. Are you? Yes, sir. That's who that is over there. That's a lady. Look at her. She looks nice, looks better than the guy that you brought. He's handsome, but it's different. Look at that. That's a great haircut. Yeah, beautiful guy. Barbara took it up high, didn't he? Yeah, Barbara definitely. Fresh chop, brother. Guy Fieri on the top. of military sides. Yeah.

56:09It has an upstairs. Yeah, it does. This haircut has an upstairs. It's a penthouse. Penthouse shop there. It's going to be more expensive to heat. That heat bill is probably expensive on that motherfucker. Don't worry. It's cold in the winter. It's hot in the summer. Don't worry. It's just a remodeled attic. Yes, sir. Thank you, brother. This episode is brought to you by State Farm. Checking off the boxes on your to-do list is a great feeling. And when it comes to checking off coverage, a State Farm agent can help you choose an option that's right for you. Whether you prefer talking in person, on the phone, or using the award-winning app, it's nice knowing you have help finding coverage that best fits your needs.

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59:22You can get up to 60 % off at babbel.com slash T-H-E-O spelled B-A-B-B-E-L dot com slash Theo. Rules and restrictions may apply. Today's episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. You know, I'm somebody who's gotten help for countless things, as you know, from listening to this podcast. And I remember a time when I was really down and I was in pretty immediate need of receiving some mental health therapy. And I contacted BetterHelp. and within no time I was on the phone with a therapist and that offered me some just immediately I started to feel better. If you're thinking of starting therapy, give BetterHelp a try.

1:00:17It's entirely online. It's designed to be convenient, flexible, and suited to your schedule. Just fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a licensed therapist and you can switch therapists at any time. And I want to recommend that you do that if you try with a therapist and you feel like, hey, this may not be the one for me, try another one, see how it goes. Find your sweet spot with your mental health with BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com slash Theo today to get 10 % off your first month. That's betterhelp, H-E-L-P.com slash Theo. this episode is sponsored by better help um yeah when you think about love and stuff like that have you been in love you think before uh like with no not really i just uh i don't really not dating someone is like it's like hard to define love like i love people love all by people but like it's like love like that no not yet and were you dating anybody in high school and stuff or no?

1:01:22No, I was, I moved high school when I went to that private school and then I went back so it was kind of just like, all random timing then when I was in college I had transferred to four colleges so it was kind of bouncing around Were you getting kicked out or what were you doing? I was just homesick so like I went to Mississippi State it was too far so I moved to OU, that was I was underperforming what I was paying I was like Like, I went to Texas State from there because it was like I was doing a business, but I was like not even like really doing great at it. So I was like, I might as well pay less.

1:01:59Like, I don't need to need a degree or whatever. Yeah, I don't need to do poorly, expensively. Exactly. You know, I'd rather, you know. And yeah, you were just homesick kind of dude. When I went to, I went to University of Arizona the first semester I went to college and I was so homesick. Oh, really? Bro, it was horrible. I bet. That's a culture shock there from the bayou to the parishes to the... Yeah, it was, dude. It was just like a lot of people with sunburn and a lot of like violencia and like Mexican people like just beating each other up and like abandoned car washes and stuff. Beautiful area.

1:02:37Tire shops and... Yeah, just a lot of people. Yeah, yeah, dude. A lot of like Mexican people just threatening to fucking change your tires. You know, like just... Amigo. Yeah, love my Hispanics. Hey, ¿qué pasa, hermano? Yes, sir. Sí, señor. So you went to those schools. Were you really homesick? I was homesick, and then I loved Texas State, and then COVID happened, and I was just like... Oh, so then you're home. I got my real estate license, started working with my dad, and then was like, just didn't... I wasn't really good at school, so I was like, no, I'm just going to do this. Yeah. And then I somehow got here.

1:03:14And what are your parents? Are they still married? Is he still married? Is he still paying off a college bill? I will probably have to, not have to, but hopefully one day give him a little cash back there. Yeah. Yeah, I need to give him some free play. Oh, yeah. I think they deserve probably something. Yeah, yeah. Like a skateboard or something? Yeah. Something probably less dangerous for them. The supreme one. Yeah, now we're talking. Put a sticker on it. Even a skateboard you just put on the wall in the room. A longboard. Yeah. That or maybe a line bike. Or a two-seater, one of those two-seater bikes.

1:03:48Oh, yeah. Dude, my step-parents used to always go ride on that, man, and everybody in the neighborhood would call them and just yell out queers at them and stuff. And I was like, what are we doing? Oh, my gosh. I'll tell you what. I would take a sidecar for sure. Those are actually really hard to drive. Yeah, and those are harder to be seen on, I feel like, than driving. Who cares if you can drive it or not? I just feel like being seen on that is unbelievable. That's like a bike helmet If my dad ever wears a bike helmet dude I'm out I wouldn't trust the driver on the front of that thing You're sitting there Especially if it's your husband or something Because spouses are always getting rid of their husbands Look at these two guys right here A couple of Vietnamese guys biking

1:04:35So you've never really been in love yet then So you didn't start dating until after Yesterday was probably my first real date Yes sir No way. And he's helping me out here. Let's go. Look at that. Go. Let's go. Bro, your first date. And where did you guys go? We went to Eddie V's. Oh, it's nice there. Eddie V's. They have table calls in there. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. It was fine dining. We had some steak. Had like two bites of it. Everyone's trying to stay light. Yeah. The date doesn't eat much, huh? No. She felt some pressure, I guess. Hey, look. yeah a lot of they don't want to yeah i think women don't i think well sorry to interrupt you go on tell me more about the date so we went to eddie v's and then we went out on broadway uh that was fun and then that was it go to some bars some bars we were bar hopping and um yeah the bars here were pretty crazy so it was uh it was fun time we had definitely we both needed ivs in the morning so really yeah and was it a i don't even want to be inappropriate what did you would Was it like sleep in the same bed type of date or was it like a...

1:05:46Same room. Gentleman. Yes, sir. I'll respect that. Yes, sir. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Here we go. You don't need to score all the way in the first half. Come on. It's a first inning here. Look, I feel you. Here we go. I love your attitude, man. Wow, dude. Did it feel like romantic? How were you feeling? I was feeling butterflies. Butterflies with a little bit of the beer shit. I drank on a flight. It was getting to me. You drank on the flight. Oh, I just don't like flying, so I drink a little bit when I fly. Yeah. Or maybe a lot, but whatever I'm feeling, depending on how long the flight is. A lot of stepdads and aggressive business lesbians will drink on flights, I notice.

1:06:27I'm on flights all the time. Yeah. Wow, brother. And so you've had a couple drinks. You get there. Did you go pick her up, or how did you guys do it? Same flight. You came together? Oh, yeah. Wait, so you knew her already? Oh, yeah. Oh, I thought you said this was the first date. Well, the first date, but first time, it's a lifelong friend. Not lifelong, more later in life. Okay, a later in life friend. And you're only, how old are you? 25. Oh, yeah, so it's a new friend. Yeah, pretty new, yeah. Pretty new, I was calling it. New love, it's like puppy love. Oh, yeah, oh, I love it. It can't even catch a Frisbee in its mouth yet.

1:07:03Yeah, exactly. We were stumbling, don't know how to hold hands, don't know how to walk together. I was trying to open doors. It's pretty hard when they're a fast walker. Calm down. So I come back here. I'm on camera here. Please. Oh, wow. So did it feel like there was, it must've felt awesome, huh? It was awesome. Tell you what, I'd do it again. Night two. Day two. This could be it. Another night. I know. This is, well, now it's getting to the back half, so I might have to hit the panic button on the, no, I'm just kidding. that's true the second day but also it's the best it's like if it still feels good that's the best thing oh yeah i think you're right the worst move is to try to like play all your cards and like be like the hero on the first night or whatever yeah you know that's a rookie move really that's a move i like to well impress her very well in the beginning and then next time we hang out it's probably not gonna be as good that's what i'm saying there we go eddie v's first time yeah Cracker Barrel next time There we go Breakfast Breakfast food Nothing wrong with biscuits and gravy Biscuits and boobies I'm just kidding Dude, yeah Do you remember even feeling like Were you ever Did you ever have like a crush On one of your teachers or anything?

1:08:18I had some You know what You know what I was gonna say? Dude, when it comes to Taking girls for love For dinner You gotta get them Seafood, bro That's exactly You're speaking the language here Really? Eggs Not eggs What do you call it? crab. Yeah, some people say eggs are the seafood of a farm anyway. Oh, yeah. But, yeah, women love seafood, man, because women love to go to the beach. Seafood lives right outside of the beach. Yeah, that's about as romantic as it gets. I remember one time, yeah, I took this girl to seafood. We went to lunch, and oh, and then after, I had like a big crush on this girl, and I tried to hold her hand, and she wouldn't hold my hand.

1:08:59Oh, that's brutal. oh i was like give me back my fucking crab cake oh yeah you're gonna start giving it a heimlich give me it back please yeah that's lump crab yeah that's a whole that's king crab brother we need that shit back yeah this ain't queen crab mama we're pulling this out of you oh yeah we we got that we did hit the wrong person here um so yeah that's something i know if you women like seafood and and they just like it dude you buy a girl a fish dinner get her a couple um uh fish medallions or however they cut it up they love it man you know what i thought i wonder if it would be cool to date a mermaid or not that would be cool half half real half fake well just their mermaid what is a mermaid made out of how much is it human and how much of is it fish.

1:09:56Can you bring that up please? I'm guessing 45%. No, not 45%. It'd probably be 60 % fish. Yeah. I'm guessing more 60 % fish. Do you have a crush on any mermaids or something? No, I was just thinking about it. What it would really be like. There's always these romantic ideas of a mermaid. But no one ever really thinks about the day-to-day of it. You're not going to be able to bring her home. There's not going to be any... I mean, there'll be some intimacy, but there's no... She doesn't have a lower... So there's just... She's dressed sexy. Fish scales are like latex. Yeah, that's true. Great touch.

1:10:41Great feeling. They're just a fish from the bottom, so you'd have to... I think there's a lot of... You could probably ride on her back underwater. That would be pretty cool. That would be cool. look at that I guess there's some highlights of it but then what would happen is you'd fall in love you'd bring her home you'd get her a tank oh you'd get her a tank that's the only way you could do it yeah yeah that or a swimming pool yeah and look yeah maybe maybe like the fifth year anniversary you get her a pool or whatever I don't think you start with a pool right out of the gate yeah I love swim up bars it's like we dine at a swim up bar every time that works that works here you go you ever been to a swim up bar Oh, yeah.

1:11:21I like sitting there. And it's the craziest place where people can just pee on each other, like, secretly. I always pee in the pool. No guilt. No survivor's remorse. Sorry. Yeah. Dude, our forefathers died for us to be able to pee in pools. Exactly. Exactly. Like the young heroes that we are. Blood, sweat, and piss. That's it, man. Oh, yeah. See, this would be a relationship. You'd be the bartender, and she would be the one on the other side. I think the bartenders probably know. you give a guy four drinks and he doesn't move, he's pissing the whole time. He's letting it rip. Yeah, they should actually have like a little piss cop or whatever that swims up.

1:12:00Oh, yeah. Maybe a catheter or something. Something, yeah, that you can attach right in. Like an IV you just put in the main vein. That'd probably work. Okay, so what else were we talking about? Oh, yeah, being in love, dude. Did you ever, so what about first loves that you had? Obviously, you love your mom. in like a mother-son way. Yep. And you, did you ever have a crush on a teacher or anything like that? I had some really good looking teachers, actually. Oh, yeah. I was in second grade, though. She was Miss Oklahoma. She was an absolute smoke show. Miss Oklahoma. Set the scene. So you get in there, huh?

1:12:35It's regular education? I did, it went over in my head. My dad, when we got out of there, he's like, your teachers are pretty hot. And I was like, oh, yeah. That's right. That was more just trying to get in and out. Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah, when school's tough, you're not thinking about it. Yeah, you got to stay focused on the grades. Now, was this regular education sketch, or what type of energy was it? Oh, it was public education. Oh, wow. Oh, yeah. She was two years removed from Miss Oklahoma's second-grade teacher. And you're in public education, so you're playing for the Raiders over there. Oh, yeah.

1:13:10Pretty good school. Pretty good school. It was more of like, I don't know, a great time. And were there times, did you notice when you started to feel something for her, Connor, or when you had like in a... You know, it was probably some dreams, probably some thoughts, but it was, you know, I wish it could happen type thing. Yeah. What about you? You ever been in love with a teacher? Yeah, we had this lady. I think, I feel like her name was like Miss Breast or whatever. I don't even know what her name was. That's how much like breast that she had. And she would wear, she wore like, she would button all the way up to here with like a doily on the necklace you know what a doily is?

1:13:52what's that? show a doily if you can please the neck would have it was like that around the top like it had like a very formal looking oh like a pilgrim yes that's perfect yes it was like a pilgrim with knowledge there you go and she would come over by my desk and help me with math and her breasts were so warm and like it just felt like it felt like kind of when you go into like a Domino's or something and they're just baking it and everybody's pretty excited, you know, like a new Domino's. Yeah. Yeah, it was just that good, warm feeling and she would help me with my math and I would like mess up the math so she would stay there.

1:14:35It would be like eight divided by four and I'd put like 6 ,000 or whatever. That's a good way to do it. That's a good way to do it. You got to keep them somehow. Oh, I just stayed right there, man. That's a good call. I might have to steal that one yeah bro so that was I think the first time that I was like really into like a teacher or something oh yeah and I loved that you know oh yeah she had the toughest bra too her bra was like a damn it's like a bullpen trying to hold back trying to hold back some dogs there trying to hold back some puppies and a couple relief pictures it was like it was just it was made by like DeWalt or something it was a serious bra Yeah, it had some, looked like they were about to pop or something.

1:15:16It was like a 40-pound test on it, I think. Sometimes they look like they open up like a missile silo. Like you just... Yeah. Come out with a claw. That's a cool attachment there. So I just remember her and I just, God, I had a big crush on her. I had a crush on a lot of teachers, though. I think it was, yeah, I think because they were around you and they would help you do stuff. There was something kind of hot about it. Yeah. there's a lot of hot teachers out there and now a lot of them are making love with the students that's true we missed out on that trend there run it back if I could have a time machine table for two please one more chance please god dude I don't know if I would have been one of the students that had enough confidence to hit on the teacher like really hit on her oh really kids stand up got a waistband Oh, yeah.

1:16:11Pitching a tent. Well, the saddest thing would be when you would go up to ask a question or something by the teacher, and then you would get an erection. Yeah. And then you had to walk back. So people would start learning a moonwalk and shit. Just things so you couldn't tell that they had an erection while they were walking back to their desk. Yeah. You'd get up like you're trying to hide something. wait something's over here or somebody would just walk like this like just any way to like camouflage when i but my secret if if you see me in the morning and i'm holding a blanket in front of me morning wood just that's that's what that is that's oh i'm just holding this walk walking around fix it it's like get your gun in your whole skin so you're not doing magic or anything that yeah no not magic you just waistband it i'll tell you you forget about it talk it in forget about it.

1:17:06You forget about it. Top of your dick gets real cold and purple. It gets frostbite. You just headless dragon there. Oh, man. Dude, I used to want to mail my dick to a starving country or whatever to feed some of the children. Isn't that crazy? Oh, really? It's a hunk of meat there? I would have dreams about it. You know, I'd give them more like a mini corn dog if I gave them some. It's more of a delicacy than a, it's more of a delicacy than an amount here. yeah they're like hey this isn't even tipping the scales guys hey there's there's nothing rotting on my thing it's just uh you know no no weird things going on just shoot you straight yeah that's a good thing that is really the best thing about a basic regular smallish wiener it's like hey we're not playing any games here right we know it's not a escalator whatever we just know this is a two-door sedan yeah and it'll get you from a to b it's a it's perfect for practice it's like a kicking tee boop sit there pick it up you know get it hopefully practice later no just kidding hey sorry for cursing sorry for sorry for everything there we go so you go to school so now you're just sketchman so now you are a Lamborghini owner nearsighted right water deficient water deficient very positive very positive um talented thank you brother energetic thank you sir handsome hopeful so now what do you feel like like do you feel like like are there things that you feel like you want to do now because now you have somewhat of a platform oh yeah well like have you started to think about that has it been kind of scary like what's some of that like because I think there's a lot of people out there who dream to be in like a position where, okay, I'm creating stuff online and it starts to, people start to absorb it.

1:19:01Yeah. Well, my first thing I'm going to do, we're launching merch. We plan on donating the proceeds to a charity. It's going to be our first shirt. And then besides that, I take everything a day at a time. So it's more of a, I know I want to travel. I want to meet people. And that's more of my goal than the money side of things. but that's kind of what I got planned right now I would love to go to Ireland or something like that are you Dutch or whatever I'm pretty Hispanic and native and English oh wow my mom's 50 % Hispanic Hispanic native and English my mom's side of the family her parents were like migrational pickers and stuff like that.

1:19:49They would travel from like up and down the country to pick different types of fruits and stuff like that. Ooh, I love that. Yeah. I love picking fruit. My grandma used to grow strawberries. Oh, really? Yeah, and we would pick them. We weren't like... I don't really like strawberries, actually. What? I don't really like fruits or vegetables. I mostly eat chicken. Really? Yeah, chicken's like my safe food. If I know I want to feel good, I eat chicken. Oh, yeah. That's like a lot of adolescents eat McNuggets all the time. Dude, I run up a check at Chick-fil-A, and then they fucked up the chicken.

1:20:21Now I've got to find a new spot here. I need to find something that does give me heartburn. Nashville hot chicken. Feels great coming in. Comes out like dragon's breath. Yeah, I think it's a risky move having that. Yeah, those farts have their own climate. It's like a tropical storm. It's a real butt party, I think. Yeah. It's like a dangerous butt party. It's like someone brought a gun to a fun party. Yeah. plaques go burst it you might you might plaques go burst that thing in there little calf shot can't be dancing too much with a stick in your pocket same thing goes with waistband it can't be can't be doing too much you got to keep it pretty it's mostly in the shoulders when you have it in the waistband oh that's a good point yeah you can't you get too high or low you you might reveal it yeah yeah and a magician never reveals his tracks true you know it's the art of deception and illusion it's like you're taking a picture take it from a good point of view take it with a selfie i'll disappoint some people yeah if you're taking dick pics with a drone then i think you just have a small dick oh yeah i think that's crazy take it with a gopro that's probably the probably do the most favors compare it to a GoPro dude you're so you're so interesting yeah you bet man I love you bro thanks man

1:21:48it's neat to see somebody that is unique you know people think that that's because everybody sometimes people feel unique and it's like not a cool unique it's like I feel unique but they'll mispresent it to themselves like I feel like something isn't I'm not the same as everybody else yeah but instead of thinking oh I'm unique they think oh I'm not the same as I'm not I'm almost I'm different or I'm less than you know but you just are like oh I'm unique this is who I am and then to see how much everybody is really interested in like really uh how much that brings warmth to people it's pretty that's awesome that's like kind of the thing that i think we want to see thank you yeah because i i just wanted to when i started i i just wanted to take i had like small ticks or whatever i'd do this with my fingers when i'm excited or whatever but it was more of like taking off the barriers and that's where the hand motions was like like it was like getting that energy out and like letting it letting it fly but there was a time last year and I just like had a prayer where I was like I want to be happy I want to travel and I want to meet people and God answered me like crazy like really yeah wow and you really were praying that yeah no he humbled me for sure wow man that's powerful huh yeah no power and prayer yeah I believe that too man 100 yeah thanks for saying that it's important and you were just you were to pray you were thinking this is my prayer this is what i would like yeah not what i didn't know it was streaming i didn't i just streaming came out of randomness i didn't even that wasn't like directly after i just remember that prayer was like like that was like my turning point yeah it's like put put your eyes on the lord brother hey i'm looking for the lord i always i always am yeah and i'll say i'm looking for the lord and somebody told me hey the lord ain't lost Yeah.

1:23:48True that. True that, brother. Follow the light. Follow the light. I know. It's yeah. That's such a good statement, man. And to put your wishes into the Lord, too. Not like I want like, you know, like I want to get a new Jaguar or I want to get a new. You know, one of those color printers for our mobile home or whatever. Yeah. But like a real like what is your real wishes, you know? And a lot of times it is to be happy, to feel of use. Yeah. You know? Yeah. Stuff like that's good. That's exactly kind of like you find your purpose. Yeah. God has your purpose. You just got to. He's just waiting there.

1:24:27He's poking and prodding. He's working on you. He's like an IV. Sometimes you got to stick that thing a couple times, find the right vein, you know, get your stuff rolling in the right direction. Yeah. Yeah. Sometimes you got to get your oil changed by the Lord. Exactly there. new tires too brother new tires thank you Jesus thank you Jesus do you think of yourself as like a role model or what do you kind of think of yourself as is it weird to think of yourself as something because even that is like a little bit of like our ego getting a little wild you know it's weird because like that's where people go like oh he's humble or whatever it's like it's easy to be humble on camera but it's like the more I've like met people and the younger I've seen them the more I go like well I should definitely watch what I'm putting out there and saying but yeah like it's It's definitely weird to think like any type of role model because it's like, I'm just playing video games.

1:25:18Brother, do not take my financial advice. I would put you in the dirt like a stick of the mud. Yeah, dude. This guy answered two emails a day. Dude, I'm not your guy. With good morning, thanks. Yeah, good morning and thanks, brother. There you go. I'm just letting them know I'm alive. That's their way of – That's it. Man, that green circle was never lit up on my thing. keep it vague good morning thanks maybe a chat soon yeah always from the phone too never at the computer i'll send some emails just you're in a completely different state i'm here brother so that's it that's where we're at that's where sketch is now you see yourself on yeah sports players we were at the cardinals yesterday doing batting practice and a lot of them are doing some your terms and signals and things.

1:26:09Yeah, it's amazing. It's crazy. Hey, the Cardinals, shout out to them in St. Louis. Yeah, they're doing pretty swell. The Brewers were there too, man. But yeah, it's just kind of fascinating to see the effect. I think that's an interesting thing too. It's making people feel like, oh, I can have an effect on one person or a lot of people by being myself. Yeah, and that's what was crazy was like the what's up, brother, the special, all that stuff was like, I was like not expecting it it was more like I was just making shit up as I'm doing stuff like half of them are like audible calls like Tuesday or whatever like that just like means get on the ball but I was just like I was talking to my to my quarterback or whatever on the field but I got that from when I when I first started I was used to uh I did my first stream I had like 12 people like it was mostly my friends and stuff but uh I turned off the announcer on Madden and send the games and uh that that that's how i kind of started getting into it like you know to announce it like it's a game and then we had a line on it and like some of them would bet it and stuff and like it's pretty fun all of them go to like overtime it's pretty cool oh so all the games you would and you would just you could emcee your own game like you could be your own so you can like take two teams no one's playing with them you just turn off the announcer and then it was just me announcing and it was like a it's like a random football game you just get to watch the game yeah oh that's pretty cool we did it and um i did it for like a tournament and the way we see you picked your teams and then we seeded it that's how you had your draft order for the fantasy draft oh nice and you guys would just watch it play out yeah it was it was exhausting though those games are like 30 minutes and i did probably 20 of them yeah it seems it seems like a really it seems like somebody who doesn't is not getting a lot of emails at work yeah no that is that is too much free time there i'll tell you what um how do you meet people to play online on madden do you just meet people like i know you can just like set up with a guy and you both have your screen names and stuff right so that's how you just do you just meet strangers do you do you randomly pick people or what do you do more like dm stuff and then i usually like to talk to people before then because i was like you didn't have to roast him a little bit so like let him i'm assuming all of them no doubt but like um it's more like my content like with like madden and stuff is more banter with the boys.

1:28:28So it's kind of like couch shit talk and stuff. So it's like people that they're all random so it's like I'll just literally whoever I talk to first on the phone or whatever and then I'm like hey, you want to do this tomorrow? And then you line it up? Yeah. I've gotten to play with like Tyreek Hill, Sauce Gardner, Vontaze Perfect, Hunter Dickinson. Wow. Yeah, a lot of athletes but it's pretty fun. And do you guys play for money or anything or no? Yeah, we'll do like gifted subs or whatever, which like 25 gifted subs is like$150 or something like that. But, I mean, we could do like for like 10 subs, which is like 50 bucks or something like, you know, just stuff to do stuff.

1:29:12But it makes it a little more fun having skin in the game. Oh, I think so. I think that's what it's about. Flesh on the table. It means something. Do you think there's a team in the NFL that could use a guy like you right now on the field? on the field and be honest with me yeah yo definitely probably probably the Jets and you can say the Saints probably the Jets they need some wide receivers and the Saints the Saints are in trouble they're your team they're not doing great yeah who is their quarterback it's probably a truck driver or something we got substitute teachers running routes out there a lot of good questions Miss Breast is probably the teacher over there a lot of good questions man a lot of questions that need to be answered.

1:29:57Yeah. I could see you pulling up for the Jets, man. Getting a 10-day contract. 10-day? Fuck it, give me a half a year. What? Half a million. We haven't even seen your work yet. We saw you to get sight unseen. Purchase, you know. Hey, look. You don't get to take the toys out of the box, brother. You got to buy it in the store. Then you got to take it home. Hey, buy this land, homie. There you go. Hey, please. What about land modeling? What if they had models for land? Say you take some people out to some land, and there's a couple of just legit bitches. Legit bitches, not just bitches. Legit bitches walking across and modeling that land.

1:30:35That's perfect. I mean, some of them do that. It's literally, instead of like that, it's like ranches with deer, showing the does and stuff. Like, oh, look at this. But doing that, have it like a car wash type thing. Yeah. Hot chicks mowing the lawn. Yeah. That would be perfect. It's not a bad idea. There's no way if I'm even a little horny, I'm not giving me a quarter acre. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Get you a – fuck it. You don't need water and sewer. It's just raw land, brother. We'll figure it out. We're living on love. Yeah. That's how you sell the shit around the tracks. That's it, dude. Better fertilizer.

1:31:09Yeah. There's some car tires on that thing you got to dig up out of the ground. Yeah, just help them with their nature work. Thank you, sir. What's the proper etiquette on Madden if you're blowing somebody out? How do you end a game? Do you end it early? do you guys decide? Like, what happens there? I usually just, that's rare for me to blow someone out, but I usually, like, just leave the game if it's a random person. But when I'm playing with other people, like, I usually just, we finish the game or we'll restart another one. Usually, like, 21 points or something like that when it gets, you know, when the cheeks are getting a little too rosy.

1:31:42Slapping that ass. Um, when, so you're gonna do maybe a second date? Looks like it. Shane Gil's today. Oh, Oh, you're going tonight? Yes, sir. Dude, I'm going. No way. Yeah. What time? I don't know. I could probably take you if you need, but if not, I'll meet you over there. Yeah. No, he's like, we're going at 7. Y 'all are? Yeah. Oh, then that's when I'll go. Oh, shit. Yeah, I might even jump on stage with him. Oh, that'd be sick. Yeah, dude, that'd be great. Have you been to the Ryman to see him? No, is it pretty cool? I saw a bus saying it was one of the most historic places or something like that.

1:32:15It's pretty legendary. Yeah, it's very historic. Yeah. Yeah. I'm sure you played at a lot of crazy places like that. Where's your favorite place you played? Some interesting places. Oh, let me think. I don't know. We just went to Australia and did some shows recently, and it was really awesome. Oh, that's crazy. Yeah. How was that? How was that? Different crowd? Trip over to Bobby? It was great, dude. We got to do this cool show. Can you bring up the show with, have you seen this show called Beautiful Tasty Beautiful? No. There's two guys. one of them is one of them has Down Syndrome. Oh yeah, I saw this.

1:32:51But you can't tell them. Yeah. It's a secret. But yeah, I went on their show and it's a cooking show. That's awesome. That was one of my favorite things that I got to do. They live in Australia? Yeah. Oh, that's cool. One of them has Down Syndrome. One of them is just in a fraternity. Okay. But they're excellent. I think he was a Pike or something, something that had more pills. The pill poppers. Is that what you know him as, too? Oh, no. Pike gets fight. I'm not confirming or denying. I'm just saying. I don't know. I might have the whole chapter come after me. I don't remember. Wait, I got it.

1:33:35We'll come for it. I don't know. So that was something that was really cool that I got to do. Yeah, I don't know. Just podcasting is neat, getting to meet different people. But yeah, performing, yeah. Some great places. We're going to London in a couple of weeks to do some shows. That is awesome. Yeah, just things like that. I just can't even believe it. Yeah. You know? When did you start doing stuff? How old were you? Like six years ago, I started doing podcasting. And that's when comedy got busy. But I've been doing comedy for like 15 years, probably 17 years. And you're in your lower 20s? yeah I started when I was 24 the same time I started look at us I'm looking at myself now Council of Ricks here yeah sorry it looks like this shit went left I don't know what happened wide left fucking teed off and hit a fucking house got a window bill yeah what else what's in the news let's hit a couple news topics man oh this was Drake yeah I don't know if I cared about this that much did you see that yeah it came out with a diss track right of who

1:34:56I miss the days a lot of rappers used to actually shoot each other oh yeah they do still it's just they it happens sooner before they get big it's bad it's bad yeah that's the problem now yeah These guys, you have to wait until you get bigger to do it. Yeah. You can't. Yeah, you've got guys that have put out, you know, a half a mixtape, and they're just popping off on each other. Yeah. We had some legends in Houston died too soon. Yeah. Rest in peace, Kenny Liu. He's gone? Yeah. Unfortunately, him and another dude, Ghost Magneto, they're great guys, but Street Life stuff. Street Life got them, huh?

1:35:36It's sad. Yeah. It is. It's pretty wild. Go inside. I'll tell you what. You've been in the streets much? No. I'm an inside dog. Inside cat. I like the kiddo. I like the kiddo. I don't like to hang out with the big dogs. It's okay, man. Tell you what. Walk and look here. That's why I wear these Air Bonarx. No one wants to rip these things off my feet. It's like, shit, you can have them, brother. Take them. Take them. Please leave in them. Yeah. They had this video of Tupac that I did see when he was young. Apparently, he was allegedly a homosexual male. And I didn't know that. My name is Tupac Shakur, and I attend Tampa Bay High School.

1:36:18And I'm 17 years old. Do you like being 17? It's like 17 is such a weird age. It's such a in the middle age. You're not 18 yet, and you're older than 16. But I like him. It's nice. It's interesting because they never really, like, push him like that. They always just kind of, like, the energy about him is always just a little bit more, that he was like a gangster rapper. Yeah. You know? Maybe it's, sometimes they take videos out of context. That could be true. I mean, this could be AI. It could be. But even then, I think like, it's just interesting. I think for years, I've never heard anybody say this and then now everybody's been talking about this video.

1:36:57Yeah, people like to say that stuff now. Yeah. Everybody, yeah, the second somebody has any success, also they're gay. There's also like a lot of like new black gay people like since like the Diddy thing, suddenly everybody who's black is accusing everybody else of being gay, I feel like. Yeah. It's just kind of wild. I think a lot of that stuff just in the black community right now is kind of wild, you know? Yeah. With a lot of just everybody's accusing each other of being gay. I think in two generations, everybody is going to be bisexual. I think it's - Like the frogs? I think, yeah. Like the rich, too much runoff.

1:37:28Yeah. Too much runoff and it's an amphetamine chickens. Dude, that's where I think we're headed. I think it's just like everybody is going to be, that's where it's going to be. Ying and yang. Yeah. Look at that. That'd be it. Just teamwork. Anything else in the news that was going on? Oh, New York City proposes rat birth control to reduce population. That is disgusting. Huh. The war on rats. It's hard to imagine. What in the hell? But recent viral videos show a city overwhelmed with rodents. You got the pizza. You got the pizza. They're seen taking over sidewalks. Living on subway platforms. Oh, this is rats in New York.

1:38:07Well, here's what they should do. They should organize them and get them to work together, work with the community. There's too many rats. They've been trying this for years to get rid of them. It's getting worse. There were rats. They saw rats playing double dutch the other day somewhere. It's getting bad. Those are the ones that are gaining too much knowledge. They're in subways because they're taking public transportation. They're pretty smart, motherfuckers. Sorry for cussing, but... No, look. If they're at a library, too. I mean, this is crazy. Look how many rats. Rat population 2018 to 2022 is gone from 2.2 million to 3 million rats now in New York City.

1:38:44What year is that that it starts to spike yet? 2020. What happened? It's COVID. It was either COVID babies. Biden or COVID. I wonder if maybe COVID, like when everything slowed down, they just had a chance to like. Everyone stopped eating bats and rats. So they started going up. Well, it makes you wonder how many restaurants were serving rat that suddenly didn't have any clientele anymore. Yeah. Rail chicken. Anchorman 2. Anchorman 2. Dude, I can't believe you're going to get out there for your second date, man. Front row. Front row. She got great tickets. Are you going to take front row with the show?

1:39:24Great tickets. To Shane Gillis? Have you guys ever seen him before? Have you ever been to a comedy show before? That's like her celebrity crush. I'm going to have to tank him or something. Hey, put the glasses on her then. Let something fly there. Put the glasses on her, you know. I will. They'd probably knock off a couple points there. Yeah, I'm sure he's, yeah. I've seen Shane up close. Shane's a handsome guy. It's a very, it's just a unique type of handsome, you know. Yeah. What else? Any other news? Was there one more news story that was good? I'm trying to think of something that happened.

1:40:00Red Lobster's coming under? No way. Is it really? Losing millions on endless shrimp? Oh, yeah. They should have took a book out of Carnival Cruise Lines. $22 million loss for the year.

1:40:16Because of endless shrimp. You can't do endless shrimp. That's a trap. Well, especially a lot of brothers and sisters, if they go on a date, they love endless shrimp. Oh, I would dine and dash. Dine and dash. A couple of those, get free pounds. Yeah. Oh, if the shrimp is endless, I'm standing on business. That's what a lot of people say. I love that. I love that. Get nice and lubed up, too, with a couple drinks. It turns into a crock pot. You just got shit wishing to wash in there. Dude, so now that you're in the dating world, do you feel like you're going to start dating different ethnicities?

1:40:48Do you feel like there's anything? Are you just kind of... Open to all. Open to all. Look at me. Yeah. I'm like the UN. I'm just here to make love. I mean, I'm a peacemaker. Peacemaker here.

1:41:03dude thank you so much for um yeah just making me laugh man i appreciate you coming and spending time so you have so you have uh yes you have merch coming out um some of that's going to go to charity that's really amazing um you're taking it a day at a time day at a time right yes sir you got your second date ever coming up yes sir back to back wow look at this 94 95 rockets here there we go shit hit the fan after that so tomorrow's gonna be scary might be 20 years of nothing hey you could hit a drought man that's why you gotta load up water pray for rain keep a jug on you and pray for rain hey it's crazy to see a dehydrated guy praying for rain try to get it somehow hey it's just the world we're in nowadays everything you want is right in front of you hey i think you're really really right um what thoughts do you have any for anybody anybody out there like um oh dude i saw um i was thinking because you don't have autism what do you have you have anything no i don't have anything um you're just a regular guy regular dude just like have a quirk or whatever but it's like more like i just when i'm doing my stuff like i just like get nervous or whatever so like i just don't really like i'm trying to hide it with like i'd be like yeah but that's crazier yeah to me yeah it's way harder so like doing this shit and like doing whatever like you know it makes me feel better yeah like you know like i don't know it's yeah i like it yeah it's good yeah it's perfect yeah just running just keeping the things there you go i'd move the hands like you know it's like a orchestra you're just trying to think think through and you're keeping energy moving through you yeah that's exactly what i like that like i'll pinch my wiener if I get scared or if I'm trying to think.

1:42:54Here you go. I'll clench my butthole when I get scared. So opposites attract. Here you go. There you go. It's like closing the vault. That's why we're here today. Dude, they were checking for people with autism at the mall the other day. Have you ever seen anything like that? No. They had like a pop-up booth or something and they were I guess they can check for it at the mall or whatever. It's like a photo booth. Go in there or something. Yeah, it just develops a thing. You're like, oh, this guy. Yeah. Whoop. You're green, brother. No, and yeah, a lady was even doing like one of those pen tests with somebody or whatever.

1:43:30Oh, yeah. I was like, I don't think that's, I don't think that person has autism or whatever. Might as well just be drunk. Yeah. Check him. He's got some funky shoes on. Some guy goes, some guy has to walk home because he can't drive. His wife's like, what's wrong? And he's like, I have autism. Yeah, like an angry drunk too. He's drinking nothing but fireball and pissing his pants, mad at the world. Tuesday, Tuesday. Tuesday, Tuesday. Sketchman, have fun. I'll see you at Shane Gillis tonight. And yeah, I just hope to get to see you in the future, man. Thanks for being somebody, yeah, that makes it just seem like, hey, no matter who I am, I can just kind of be, you know?

1:44:11Yes, sir. And I can have some confidence in myself. And yeah, and I can just have a good time. you know yes sir thanks for coming and spending time and just making me laugh man it's really thank you for having me the hospitality has been amazing you know someone I've looked up to for a while and it's amazing to be here and thank you for having me yeah you bet brother yes sir brother yeah and okay great man thanks yeah thanks for coming man and I'll see you at the show tonight yes sir sounds fun alright sounds good brother alright brother thank you brother bye brother now I'm just floating on the breeze and I feel I'm falling like these leaves I must be cornerstone oh but when I reach that ground I'll share this peace of mind I found I can feel it in my bones but it's gonna take