E499 Celeste Barber

28:02But isn't that what boys do? Don't they just sort it out themselves? In some tribes, the brother will teach the younger brother how to masturbate. So it doesn't seem like a shameful thing. It seems like this is a way that things are done in our culture. Yeah, right. Are those tribes also in Ireland?

28:30I'm not sure they could be. Again, if it's a taught thing. In all my experience, you boys just figure it the fuck out. But you don't, though. That's the problem. You just go out into the woods or you go into like some corner. Go out to the woods. Or you hide in a hamper at a friend's house, you know. In their mom's bathroom. Oh, 100%. We had this one kid, bro. If you ever needed him, he was in my one buddy, had a hot mom. He was in their hamper all the time. Oh, my God. Crack it open, he'd be in there. Oh, God. you got a fucked up mate just making organic beverages dude that guy was a real dirt ball and he still is honestly i think he's buying bars um i want to update everybody that uh we had a lawsuit from kai the hitchhiker you might be familiar um and finally it has taken seven months, but Morgan & Morgan helped get our case dismissed.

29:33So thank you, Morgan & Morgan. And that's what it is, Kai. That's the law. If you're ever injured, you can check out Morgan & Morgan. Morgan & Morgan is America's largest injury law firm. They have over 100 offices nationwide and more than 800 lawyers. With over$15 billion recovered for over 300 ,000 clients, Morgan & Morgan has a proven track record of fighting to get you full and fair compensation. Morgan & Morgan has been fighting for the people for over 35 years. They have your back just like they had ours during tough times and when you need a little bit of help. Whistling underwater Water is hard, but submitting an injury claim with Morgan & Morgan is easy.

30:22If you're ever injured, you can check out Morgan & Morgan. Their fee is free unless they win. For more information, go to forthepeople.com slash this past weekend or dial pound law pound 529 from your cell phone. That's forthepeople.com slash this past weekend or pound law pound 529 from your cell. This is a paid advertisement. Are you struggling with keeping your website up to date and running your business? Well, you're not alone. Now you can binge all the web design and digital marketing you want with Modify. Modify helps you with unlimited web design and redesigns, unlimited website updates, and 24-7 support, including digital advertising.

31:18Plus, you get a designated designer. Consider updating your existing website or getting a new one. They've made mine, and I'm thankful for them. Visit Modify, M-O-D-I-P-H-Y dot com slash Theo for 50 % off the last website you'll ever need. That's right. Unlimited web design and redesigns. Unlimited website updates. 24-7 support. Digital advertising included. Plus, you get a designated designer. Go to modiphy.com slash Theo for 50 % off the last website you'll ever need. I saw that the Just for Laughs festival, speaking of comedy festivals, was going out of business. Did you ever go with that? I did Montreal a couple of times.

32:08You did? Yeah. I only heard that the other day. 2024 Just for Laughs comedy festival canceled. Company seeks credit or protection. wow um can yeah it keeps rolling is that just in montreal because we have one in australia we have in sydney jfl has that been canceled good question the montreal company that operates the just for last comedy festival has canceled the 2024 edition of the event wow so 2024 montreal is canceled which when is sorry what i'm learning things today when is it usually on i should know i've played it. I believe it's in... In like a few months, right? So that's late to cancel.

32:46Like, is everyone... Fuck that. They must have made it just realize it's not going to work. A formal process under Canada's... has cancelled the 2024 edition of the event after filing a notice of intention to make a proposal to creditors. 75 people were laid off Tuesday morning, according to a festival spokesperson who called the company's financial situation unsustainable. Yeah, festivals are tricky. The company cited lost revenues during the two years of the global pandemic and challenges facing the media industry, particularly reduced budgets at networks and streaming platforms as reasons for restructuring.

33:19Wow. It's kind of wild when things like that start to go away. Um, but I think like things like just for laughs, they're not as much of a launching pad for entertainment anymore for, for comedians. And that not, um, it's not a money-making vehicle. Like I don't, and I've always found it quite weird. I don't really do festivals again because you know i didn't come up through stand-up but that idea of going there's 300 shows on over four days yes too much in two two streets two blocks and each comedian's got to try and push their own fucking show up against that like i didn't i always found it kind of weird and i know so many of my mates do those festivals like it's fucking impossible to sell, try and sell out even, you know, 300 seats.

34:09It's impossible because my mates down the street, it's just, yeah, it's really hard. It's like every venue in the world is selling tickets on the same night. It almost does seem kind of ridiculous. It's like, what if all your major sports teams played on the same night? Exactly. Well, they'd never do that with sport. No, not sacred sport, but with the arts and comedy. Fucking hell, figure it out, you weirdos. We don't give a shit. Sport. we went to a Sydney Swans game yesterday yeah good yeah like it yeah it was cool AFL yeah AFL it's like soccer and rugby kind of a little bit it's um yeah rugby union do you mean not rugby league I don't know I couldn't tell what the it's kind of an interesting sport you can't tell what sport it is it seems like they're trying to play every sport at once and they're incredible like I don't really follow AFL but when I do see it and you know talking to people who love it they're incredible fucking athletes they just never stop just pinning it around and throwing and kicking like it's not you run you stop you sit you go again like it's non-stop it's amazing to watch yeah it kind of has like a soccer aspect because it keeps moving do your boys play sports or no?

35:24yeah my oldest boy loves rugby league but I've pulled him well he's not going to do it for a year he wants to you know get your shit together so we started doing rugby union instead i fucking hate it what is rugby union what's the difference um oh can someone else bring this up here we go rugby league is i don't know how to describe the difference because if you watch it it looks very similar there's everyone listening who knows sports is going to be like this bitch trying to tell us about fucking union listen up fellas this is how it is no it's international women's day um you're good. I know I'm bored because it's sport.

36:00Well, there you go. Did you play sports when you were growing up? No. Really? I danced. You did? Yeah. You were a trained dancer? Sure. Not trained, but like as a kid, dance, you know, every day of my life up until I was 16, fucking loved it. Oh, it's beautiful. Well, my main goal in life was to be a Janet Jackson backup dancer. Oh. I love her so much. God, it's so beautiful. Yeah. I have never met her before. I've had dreams where I've met Tito Jackson oh how'd that go yeah it was like at a recovery meeting but I still got to meet I got introduced to him twice in these dreams? yeah it's very specific yeah I'm obsessed with Janet I saw her 1998 velvet rope tour in Brisbane changed my fucking life where were you at?

36:51where was my seat? like row Z seat 87 would have a better seat in the fucking car park. I didn't care. And what were you wearing? Just your young breasts? Yeah, just baby tits and jeans. I don't know if we can say that. We probably won't say that, I reckon. I'm happy to stay for the edit, if that helps. I'm available all of a sudden. No, I'm obsessed with her, but even more so her backup dancers. Yeah, because it's so much to be a backup dancer because you're right there. You're right on the cusp of the star. You're smelling their fucking breath. If they fart, you're in it. Absolutely. But you need to know your place.

37:32Yeah. So you need to know that when Janet breaks off from the group and does her thing, that's when you can go and, you know, fucking go ham. But when she comes back, you've got to make sure you fall in line. I think a lot about Taylor Swift's backup dancers. I think about them a lot. I went and saw her a few weeks ago. You did? Yeah. And did you go alone? No, I took my nine-year-old niece. Beautiful. yeah I'm pretty amazing do you think some women went alone no no I think people went in fucking cults together to that with their cauldrons oh fucking hell no I don't think there was anyone there alone and if they went alone they didn't leave alone it was a lot but I think about her backup dancers because she's on tour at the moment biggest tour in history and Beyonce's on tour biggest tour in history and you just fucking know that taylor swift backup dancers also auditioned for that beyonce tour that's that's tough there's a lot of skipping around they come out on push bikes they bring out pumpkins and do like liturgical it's a it's i was like you don't notice half the shit they do next thing you know one of them yeah just has like a um they'll have a stuffed animal they'll have a bassinet a hundred percent you know one of them will have a drum one and we'll be just, you know, landing their ass on the other one or something.

38:55And before you know it, it just, they have to keep it moving. But I really noticed it. And I really noticed the backup dancers when Taylor would dance with them. I'm like, oh, I want to re-corry that. And be right there. Taylor's unbelievable. I'm obsessed with her. I think she's incredible. Is she a dancer? No. Mate, she's not a dancer. But she is a hype woman. Yeah. and she dances in front of 100 ,000 people the way that I used to dance in my bedroom alone when I was nine and I have fucking respect for that. That's what I think it is. I think even when you see her just like at other shows, you see her dancing, you see her having a good time.

39:32She's all teeth and elbows. Yeah. But you go, great. I love that for you. Yeah. Those backup dancers. You can tell they're like... You think some of them are like, that could be me. Do you think some of them have to leave the tour because their ego gets too big? That must happen. I reckon some of them have to do a drop-in dance class once a week just to really hone their craft because they're not getting it on stage. Yeah, they have to dumb it down almost, huh? Maybe, yeah. You got to be careful with what you say about Taylor because the Swifties will come for you and skin you alive. Really? Are they bad here?

40:02I'm not worried for you. I'm fucking worried for me. You talked about tits on a baby. You're already fucked. If I go for Taylor. I don't think we should, yeah. No, that's good. Look, I'm okay with a lot of surgeries. I don't think that's one of them. No, Taylor, yeah, I think she's great. I just don't know if she's a dancer. Some of the stuff you see at the shows is you will see a lot of people filming their child trying to get their child on to like, look, Taylor, this is little Dino or whatever. Phoebe, yeah. Yeah, you know, yeah, this is Chloe and she's your, you know. Biggest fan. Biggest fan and she's like eating a bowl of fucking glitter or something.

40:44Yeah, tears and resentment. three and a half hour concert wow fucking hell that's a lot I went to the bathroom at one point and I came back to my niece and I said oh Taylor's she got changed during this song and my niece went uh no it's a different song and I went it's fucking not it's all the same I thought it was the same song she's like no it's a completely different song oh yeah yeah I was so hi one time I went to Green Day and the opening band performed and I thought that was Green Day and I was who was the opening band Dua Lipa I think it was like Chingy or something oh wow did you leave after it that was great that was great there's heaps of cabs available like an uber this is awesome I was on my way out um what else is going on oh yeah so one thing that people love about you obviously so much is just like like bucking like the beauty trend and like take on beauty in like such a ridiculous way.

41:45Is it like beauty kind of or is it just like what is like the fulcrum of like what you feel like you kind of like to pinpoint? Because you have so many videos of shit that's like yeah like somebody in the rain drinking a soap. Just like things that's like that normally they make it look all sexy and erotic you know. And you just kind of make it look like real humans like what if we all did this? Yeah I think because. Kind of like Taylor Swift's dancing. exactly the same Taylor and I are the same we're exactly the same we're like in dance um I think just that whole idea of unrealistic ideals of women being sold as realistic yeah like before social media you know you get a magazine or whatever you see in the media magazine drawing or something yeah you're like oh it's Cindy Crawford being fucking amazing she's on a motorbike, in a bikini, on an Empire State building, drinking a Pepsi.

42:45You know what that is. It's an edited thing and that's what it's been sold as. Then social media came out and similar ideas are being pushed. But it's like, this is what I look like, dropping the kids off at school. Or like, this is my morning routine. And it's 4am and she's in a bikini and she's doing yoga on a beach. She's got a green juice and her kids are gorgeous and just doing school drop-off. I'm like, bitch, that's not what fucking school drop-off looks like. That idea of it being sold is, it just. It's trash. It's, it's just, you know, it's fucking hard because then when you get it on your phone, you already hate yourself and it's 3am and you're breastfeeding your child who won't fucking breastfeed, but you have to breastfeed them because if you don't breastfeed them, you're a shit mom.

43:31You may as well give them a fucking meth pipe because that's something else we have to be doing. And he's also 11, which is a little crazy. Exactly. And he fucking hates It's you. Yeah. And you're scrolling through your phone and then you see these images and they get into that psyche. I was like, that's bullshit. Oh, yeah. It's like, why do I have to feel bad suddenly? I already feel bad, but at least I could put the fucking magazine down or turn the fucking TV off. Yeah. And then we get these in our hands and you put that down, you'll fucking explode. And they just peppered. And I was like, no, I call bullshit to that.

44:04I call absolute bullshit to that. I still do. Yeah. And then here's the worst part is I think that then your brain starts to feel bad or something. Then you release some like thing into your breast milk and now your kid fucking feels bad. Yeah, absolutely. Your kid's all fucking pissed or whatever. 100%. Because some chick with no kids is fucking, you know, showing her tits in your toaster oven or whatever making breakfast. Yeah, exactly. She's not making that breakfast. but I also wanted to show the other like I'm sure there are people out there that do sail on a yacht to drop their kids off to school in bikinis and incredible not everyone's like that and that's not represented it's not represented so kind of true huh why do we get afraid I think to share whatever is probably really real I guess I think it's shifting though yeah I and I think maybe because it's boring it's not aspirational and we have to constantly especially if you know in the public eye or in the media got to be aspirational someone asked me in an interview yesterday well what's next you know you're gonna well too are you doing this you're doing that so i'm gonna lie the fuck down yeah that's what i want to do i want to try and figure out how to live one day without anxiety and sleep for longer than four hours like that's a goal of mine doesn't always have to be i'm gonna do this and do that can do this and that's the stuff of social media too yeah well i think there's it definitely creates a world of like i have to do something else yeah what's next what's next because people have seen it next seen it next seen it now even like in tv now with streamers consume television on streaming services the way we consume tiktok and we and this is one of the crazy things that happen you start to not even value you don't even realize how much production goes into television stuff.

46:01So people don't even value it as much anymore. They value it as like, if this doesn't get my attention pretty quick or I'm not in, I move on. It's almost like you scroll past it. And to think that that much production and time and creativity and everything would go into a program and you would just scroll right past it. It's one of the reasons I think why like even JFL are saying that there's problems because there's just tightening budgets at all those places because they they can't figure out how to make it um where people are sticking around you know yeah and people want everything for free but that's that's you know that's what the industry and you know society social media all that sort of stuff is put out there it's like if you don't binge this show in two days you're a fucking idiot because we've got 40 other shows that are coming up that everyone else is watching You have to kind of keep up watching it.

46:56And if you don't, well, then aren't you a loser? How dare you watch one episode a day, fuckhead? That's the whole thing. And then it totally – Yeah, who cares if your children can't read this fucking second episode of Griselda, you little bitch? Bridgerton 65 is coming out. You're not onto it yet. Yeah. And I think that really dilutes the quality of what we see because, Bridgerton for example you watch that it drops and you binge it in two days and then everyone loves it and they're like you have to make another one so instead of going alright well let's go and develop some scripts we'll get some writers out oh we're gonna you know what draft do you usually shoot on oh 10th draft fuck that second draft shooting draft go go Elizabeth needs yellow fever or whoever the characters are and just absolutely dilute the quality of it put Bridgerton in a fucking coma and let's fucking keep it moving.

47:51Episode one, but episode two, fucking bring them out. Keep going. Yeah, things start to lose quality because we want things so fast. Yeah. It used to be, you know, it's always been a tough industry and challenging. I kind of like that about it, but it's fucking brutal now. Like, and what is the acting side? Yeah, trying to get - That seems impossible. Trying to, like I had a show on Netflix that went really well. It fucking killed. Yeah, well made. Yeah, it went really well and it didn't get renewed. And they said because of numbers, but the numbers were really good. You just have to keep up and you can only control that so much.

48:33And a lot of these people making those choices have no idea. Are accountants. Well, they are just – yeah, they have no idea what's cool. And that's one of the also one of the things that I do like about people being able to make their own content and have their own voice is because those people thought they knew everything. Yeah. And they don't know shit. No. And now their old festivals are falling apart. Their networks are making shit that nobody's paying attention to. I think it's I think it's part of the problem. I mean, I'm probably a little jaded, too. you know similar thing happened to me but it's like um they tried to get so woke i don't know and in the u.s like the comedy central got so woke and everything they put on people that weren't even fucking comedians making shows just like and it and then now they'll like give they want to come and offer you like five hundred dollars to come make a show with them yeah get fucked yeah like yeah with your special absolutely yeah they're like we're gonna give you 16 cents for your special i'm like the one that i sold out worldwide and made a fuck ton of money on you can't have that you can't have that yeah did that feel kind of scary because I guess when you're an actor getting a show is such a huge thing it was awesome I fucking loved it I have to watch it I haven't seen it I just saw that I know that you did it I was executive producer on it as well which I fucking loved did you get one of those little chairs with the black back on it no I didn't I should have got that I got an ego though massive ego from it I just loved it.

50:11I was, you know, it was a show that was built around me. It was a dream situation. It was a book that was then turned into a show and they wanted to build it around me and had awesome people on it and we made it. It was fucking wicked. I loved it. I loved it. I loved the story as well of being a woman, 41 now, you know, on screen being big and loud and flawed and annoying and weird and exciting. and then before we're talking about audiences and people come up to me in the street and just like women they're like i fucking saw myself in that character we don't see that much right and so i love that so i really really would have loved to have extended that and given more to that story and seen more in that character as well as being the lead in a fucking show for a second season an executive producer like i'm not hiding that i enjoyed that yeah so the whole experience was awesome well it sounds like it I want to go back and watch it I like some Australian shows I like Bondi Rescue and I like you know Chris Lilley shows yeah have you seen all of your stuff like from the beginning I think I've seen everything the problem is well Netflix took half of their they used to have it up have you seen Summer Heights High yeah and have you seen We Can Be Heroes stop looking at my dick yeah fuck you miss Sorry for saying fuck you, miss.

51:38Mr. G, Mr. G. Oh, it's so good. She's a naughty girl with a bad habit. A bad habit for drugs. Ecstasy. Ecstasy. I fucking love him. Did you see We Can Be Heroes? That was his first one. We can be heroes. No, we have Australian of the Year in Australia. Yes, I have seen it. It takes place at a school as well. Well, it's all, again, different characters all over Australia who were nominated to be Australian of the Year. Yes. And he plays all of them. It's worth watching. I'll have to go back and watch it again. Yeah, go and find it for sure. It's great. Yeah, the only place I can find Samurai Thai was on like YouTube in like, and it's somebody else watching it on their television and then putting the episode up.

52:22Yeah. Where was it? It's very Vietnamese. Where was it? Was it on Netflix? No, this was on YouTube. It used to be somewhere good. But remember, they tried to cancel him here. That was the dumbest shit ever. He's a fucking legend. Chris is hilarious. Yeah, I don't know. I kind of dropped off after Summer Heights High for no fucking reason. I just, I didn't really see much of that stuff after that. That was so good. Hang on, yes, I did. What was it? Year 12s. And Nathan, those brothers. Fuck, that was funny. Nathan, like screaming and he's next to me. And what about when the other kid comes up that's like a better dancer than him?

53:02It was so fucking crazy. Mr. G, that character and Jermaine so good God, that was so good that was like the Seinfeld of Australia I feel like in a way yeah because it's so on the nose and perfect you're like, could anything get more perfect than that? I got to meet him once I got to meet him once and I was so, yeah was it awesome meeting him? I've never met him Yeah, it was awesome. He came on the podcast last time I was in Australia. Great. Yeah, it was super. I came downstairs in the hotel and he's just kind of standing off to the side kind of. Like kind of has this like kind of like shyness, I guess, curious kind of guy.

53:48I'm interested that he did your podcast because I don't think he does much, does he? I don't think he does a lot of stuff like that. I don't think he does anything. I felt super stoked about it. I'm going to try to get to say hey to him before I leave town. He said he's out of town right now, but. Yeah, right. He's a funny guy Yeah Did you ever do Like see Kath and Kim Kath and Kim Kath and Kim It's another Australian show That's fucking brilliant I haven't seen it It's about like suburban Australia Sean and Marley I like Have you seen them No It's like Recipes And Down Syndrome Basically It's like a little Is it Australian Yeah It's good I didn't know that Yeah it's quality Formed content Good telly Good telly Sean is more Bit of bit He can get a little agitated sometimes if the vegetables aren't right.

54:35Hang on, wait. Is this a TV or YouTube? This is YouTube. It's really great. Let me, yeah, let's, so Sean and Marley, one of them has Down syndrome, I believe. And I believe they are, I don't know if they're Christian or not, but they're Asian. Well, we can't watch it, but they're great, though, if you could see them. Yeah, well, have a look for sure. What else are you thinking about? what else am I thinking about? My kid's got a football game this afternoon. Are you going to make it? No, the second half. Yeah, mom. Yeah. He said to me on the phone, he's like, mom, will you make it to the game?

55:13My nine year old. I went, look, my flight gets in like 20 minutes before you start. Cause that's okay. You can just come to the second half. I was like, you're the fucking best man. That was nice of him. He's the, like he's fucking wicked. Dude. My mom would sit in the third, out in the outfield in the van. and she would say, hit it or we're leaving. And she would fucking lay on the horn. What did you play? Play baseball. Right. Hit it or we're leaving. And we would. Oh. Because she didn't want to wait for the second time for the batters to go around. She's got shit to do. Because I didn't get to play much in the field.

55:45They would put me out there, but it was like, they didn't want me out there. Did you like it? I didn't like it. What, being in the outfield or playing at all? I just didn't like being out there, I guess. I don't know. There was things I didn't like about it, I guess. I don't like the heat out there you always feel like you're supposed to do yard work you feel like a farmer out there with all this land in like left field you don't have any seed you don't have any mules with your own thoughts that's never good when you've got depression you're like this farm sucks I'm just wondering where the nearest fucking bridge is this isn't good for me and they're long games right?

56:20baseball, long it's like cricket, fucking long cricket seems unbelievably ridiculous it seems like they shouldn't do it That's what it seems like to Americans. And it also seems like they don't really do it. I'm like, you don't do fucking much. Yeah. And then all of a sudden something happens and everyone shits themselves. Like, no, like four people of the 50 ,000 people that are fucking standing out there playing get excited for 10 minutes and everyone goes home. Yeah. And it's all across the news. What happened? And it lasts for like three days too. Yeah. Isn't there like a 10-day test? Yeah, it goes forever.

56:54That's crazy. There's like an Indian. It kind of reminds me of an Indian wedding. A lot of Indian weddings are like that. Yeah, but they look fun. Oh, yeah. I think it's a lot more fun than a game of cricket, probably. I think anything is a lot more fun than a game of fucking cricket. Thank you. I really do. I've been wanting to say that, but I think I always be afraid to say it because I'm like, oh, people are going to get pissed, cricket. Yeah, you probably can't say it. Fuck that, man. I'll say this. The shit looks fucking ridiculous. The helmet looks absolutely insane. It looks unbelievably bad.

57:25How do you feel about American football then? because they look like fucking idiots. You know what? I think I kind of agree with you. There's this clip on YouTube of NFL players watching rugby league games and because it's fucking brutal league, like they have some padding. Oh, yeah, rugby seems way more. But they run at each other and they just, you know, demolish each other. That's why all my kids are doing it. But it's really funny footage of these massive NFL players going, What the fuck? They can't believe it. Really? Yeah. I mean, that's illegal. That's a spear tackle. Ten in the bin.

58:08Oh fuck Oh my god It's so full on. Look out, mate, behind you. Oh, my God. It makes my penis hurt. Yeah, it should. It makes my penis hurt. Fuck. Good God. And then he's got to get him. Oh, it's really brutal. Yeah, when I see a lot of pain, I feel it in my genitalia. Yeah, right. Is that a weird thing you think that happens to people? I think men just talking about their genitalia in general is kind of weird. Yeah. Sorry about that. That's okay. At Sierra, discover great deals on top brand workout gear, like high-quality walking shoes, which might lead to another discovery. 40 ,000 steps, baby.

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1:01:59The links will be on the YouTube. And again, there's no commitment when you reach out to them. but I promise you only something positive will come from you reaching out and figuring out what type of health, if any could benefit you thank you yeah, how weird is it, I guess if your child's going through puberty you gotta fuck, do you have to sit down with them? what do parents do? do you ever talk with your husband about how to do that? yeah, it goes like this fucking talk to him that's how I do it really? I try and talk to them. We got an email from his school saying, just so you know, this term we're doing like sex ed, we're going to be talking about.

1:02:42Yeah. And I said to my son, sucked in, you're going to get it at school. We do. We try and talk to it, but they know fucking our kids know shit. Yeah, they know. But I think sex ed is when it gets really weird because then it's like somebody is talking about it and everybody's in the same room at the same time and they had a doll i remember they passed around like a doll in our class which was crazy i'm like people are like abusing this doll kind of like and there was a male doll and a female doll like i'm but i think it's because you remember that energy did you have to go to sex ed i i don't remember it at all what yeah i don't remember maybe i wasn't at school when it was We have this thing in Australia called Healthy Harold and this fucking van comes around to each school.

1:03:35And Harold is the character. He's a giraffe and you go into the Healthy Harold van and they have like figurines and it's like, this is what a uterus looks like. Or like this is what like skin can, like skin or, you know, like eyes. Oh, it's like a little petting zoo. See, but then I remember Healthy Harold comes, it's a lot, and then Healthy Harold comes back and then they talk about sex ed and I didn't, maybe I didn't go, isn't that weird? I don't remember the whole, you know. Healthy Harold. Condom on a banana thing. I don't remember any of that. Maybe I just skipped it. Well, that's pretty interesting that they use a giraffe to do it.

1:04:23and he comes around. And my poppy's name was Harold as well. So I was like, I'm fucking good not learning about this in a weird dark van. We are getting into a van, I think, but that's happened to a lot of, a lot of people have gotten into a van. And learn a lot of shit. Learn a lot of shit in a van. Actually, it's not a bad idea. Almost like an ice cream truck that just goes around with facts about sex. Yeah. You just need to get parents to sign off on it. Yeah. You're laughing. Yeah. We do try to talk to my boy a bit about it. but yeah like that's that's the thing I would wonder and what's the school saying like beware like it's I think that no puberty month or whatever yeah it's not they're like you think it's International Women's Day it's not it's we're teaching your kid about shit oh I know so it was just kind of letting us know that they're gonna be talking about a menstrual cycle no yeah I'm full on at home with that with my boys I'm in a house full of dicks so I'm like I talk about that a lot I'm like I've got my period getting my period Everyone look alive and like my, everyone gird your loins.

1:05:24Cause yeah, here's, I'm firing some fucking warning shots. Cause it's not looking good for any of you guys for a while. But now my nine year old will be like, um, did you want something to, if I'm like, I've got my period. Do you want something? Yeah. I got good kids. Wow. Yeah. Raising good boys. That's beautiful. Yeah. That's sweet. That's nice. I also have heard my husband walk into the kitchen and say to my boys, boys, it's fucking back off. Get out of here. I can hear her whispering Get out of here She's not It's not good Take it easy today guys Yeah Wow Yeah And will you guys have any more children you think?

1:05:59No No Oh so less No I've got a hundred I'm good I do have my So And I'm really busy with work And I'm like Maybe if I just have a baby I don't have to do any of this Yeah I need to stop And just have a baby Because that's easy People have babies all the time I think just so they can get out of work maybe get out of work or something or not have to do something men do that, women don't do that you think? yeah, that's a men thing so men are like, oh I'll have this baby let's have a kid, it's just easy and the woman's like, yeah sure, then she does it she's like, I fucking hate you man, hate everything about you men will do that huh?

1:06:38fuck dude, we're sick we're sick man I do think about that though sometimes and my youngest really wants me to have another baby because he wants to be a big brother but I'm hoping my stepdaughters will hurry up and get pregnant I'm like that will work for me as long as somebody kind of fulfills that space a little bit I think that's super important what else was I saying oh there was a bunch of beauty tips I was going to ask you because so many things you went through about beauty and different things we were talking about like a lot of your videos do you have a that's not me this is not you no but go on bring that back up though what is some of these I just wanted to think what do you think about some of these new ones that people are doing.

1:07:21Nose blush. What, you just make your nose pink? Yeah, I think it's sweeping bright blush across your face, onto your nose. Highlight, I don't, who wants to highlight the bridge of their nose? I think it started probably with COVID or something, probably because people were sick anyway. So I think people were like, I might as well fucking look really bad. Snail skin, fuck off. That's not a thing. Snail skincare, yeah, this is where, I guess, yeah, people are putting snails and this must be a, this is Asian thing, yeah, popularizing Korea spread across Asia. The texture of the snail slime on your face is already giving us the heebie-jeebies.

1:08:00Actually, a snail on your face would feel fucking wild, huh? Yeah, I could feel that in a very specific part of my spine. That's weird. It would be the actual, for me, the slow movement of the snail. I'm just not interested. I'm happy. I would rather look like a hat full of assholes then fucking sit through that. I'm not doing that. And it's not even a movement. It's just a casual... Yeah. Like... Never ending. Yeah. Oh, almost seems kind of nice. I think it depends on where you put it at. Yeah. That was quite nice. Yeah, like I don't know if it's soothing or not though. Flower beads. You know what my friend Caleb told me?

1:08:40He told me that there's the neatest thing I've ever heard. That you can look at anything and know what it will feel like on your tongue because when you were a baby you put everything in your mouth what I can look at anything like you can look at anything like material or anything and you can know what it would feel like on your tongue yeah right that's kind of cool it's crazy you can look at anything you're like but he said it's because you tried everything when you were a child that doesn't kind of check out because like when I look at those lights I know how it feels on my tongue but that's not because I shove lights in my face as a baby maybe not but do you shove certain it's just like did we taste every fabric you know what I'm saying did we taste every surface without even you know yeah sand all that shit yeah yeah yeah because it's weird you can once I start thinking about it yeah now I'm kind of freaking out a little bit like looking around like how does our tongue know everything and I think sometimes I said this to my kids the other day sometimes when I've got so much on and because I've got ADHD as well, when I'm really overwhelmed, I can feel the front part of my brain.

1:09:52I can actually feel it. And when I think about that, I'm like, what other parts of me, if I think hard enough about them, can I feel that you don't usually think about? Do you know what I mean? Like the same with if I had a drink of water or something free and then someone tried to talk to me and I had to answer them and I couldn't swallow. And I was like, going, hang on. And then I went, I forgot how to fucking swallow all of a sudden because, don't say that, because you don't have to think about swallowing, right? It just happens. So when you do think about it, you forget how to do it. I'm boring myself, but sometimes I can feel the front part of my brain when I'm overthinking.

1:10:33And I feel it's the same thing about that tongue thing. I don't usually think that I can feel my tongue until I think about it. Yeah. We're going to put this part on the calm app to put people to sleep. Yeah, welcome to calm app. We would make a good calm app episode. Jesus Christ. Welcome to calm app. Celeste's going to tell you about the front part of her fucking brain to put you to sleep. You're in a beautiful open field. What's that, a bird? What does that feel like on your tongue? Calm down. Dude, if we made a calm app episode, that'd be so fire. Yeah It'd be so good wouldn't it It would be so Harry Styles is on it He's on there doing call map shit Yeah but it's fucking great Because he reads you Like a story And at the beginning of it He's like Hello Harry Styles here I'm gonna read you a story And I'm like Fuck alright Harry Why don't you read me a little story It's really nice Wow Yeah Yeah that would be good I'm trying to think of some good ones I would like to hear maybe from Randy Quaid, maybe.

1:11:38LeBron does one too. He does? Yeah, it's good. I feel like if Kai Sinat did one, it would be pretty fucking fire too. But yeah, I don't know what his would be like, maybe. That would be great if everybody started making those. Lots of people that do them. Yeah. Like I was quite surprised when I saw it. Like, fuck, there must be money in that. Do you do any impressions or impersonations kind of? I'm not that talented, unfortunately. Did you ever try them? Like try to work on it for a while or think about it? No, no, not really. I kind of, I had a little moment of wanting to do SNL back in the day before anyone gave a shit about who I was.

1:12:14But I was like, I'm not really good at that stuff. I fucking think it's amazing though, people that do it. It blows my mind. Did you see Shane Gillis on there? No, who's that? He's an American comedian. He's like a really entertaining guy, very funny. He just, he had gotten kicked off of the show. Like they had hired him. As like a cast member. they hired him as a cast member a while like three years ago and then the next day they looked at some old episode from a podcast or something and said something on it and they took him off they said we changed our minds and then he blew up since then and he has like a huge career and now they just had him back as a guest oh wow did he host?

1:12:55yeah he hosted so I thought it was interesting I thought he was going to say at the last minute fuck you can't make it guys Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, wow. I kind of wish that he would, but I don't know if that's just like a petty part of me that wished that. I have that in me as well. Yeah. Sometimes that petty part of you just shows up, you know? Oh, God, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, quite a lot for me. I could be quite petty. Does it feel like, Jesus. Air conditioning. Yeah. Does it feel, is it really, you think? What? Like now when you think about it, because you've been traveling a lot, right? You're in hotels.

1:13:30You're on planes. It just like my voice is busted. And when I tour, the same thing. It's the air conditioning. It's just cold, synthetic air. It's never right, is it? No. That's why when I get hotel rooms, I always try to get like an open a fucking window. Yeah? Because it's been, like I say, four days I've been in a hotel or in a car or anything like that. You know, studios are cold. So, yeah, it just busts my voice. Sometimes when I go to certain places, I'll stay in a place that doesn't have any air condition. Mm-hmm. and at first you're like, this sucks. Yeah. But by like the second night, you kind of get into like this real natural sort of pattern kind of.

1:14:06Yeah. And your body kind of self-regulates itself with heat and everything. It's so much better for you. But yeah, it just, it buckles my voice. I'm actually going to have some free water. Did you see, well, you said you have ADHD, huh? Mm-hmm. And how'd you get it? I just bought it at the store. Just go and fucking pick it up. So it's not something that's developed? No, born with it. Well, I don't think I was born with it. I was diagnosed at 16. Being medicated on and off forever. I fucking hate it. You really? Yeah. I really struggle with it. I find it really hard. Like how do you notice it?

1:14:45Because sometimes I wonder how do you notice it? Like where do you notice it? Because 16 is kind of a young age to diagnose somebody with something, but that's how we do it. And especially in the 90s as well. Like it's everywhere now, which is great. You know, people talk about it so much now. But back then ADHD was just like, shut up and sit down, have a pill, fuck off. It's not just a hyperactivity thing. It's lacking in dopamine and all that. And I just run in circles. I can't grab a thought. I find it as I get older, it's kind of getting harder. It's weird. like as I say I'm medicated for it but um I get the medication makes me anxious so it's like well which fucking devil do you choose to hang out with yeah you're gonna be like well I'll just be scattered and full-on or not as scattered not as full-on but anxious as fuck and I don't know if it's a career thing as well you know with more success and all that with so much going on and so much demand but I find it hard to cop a break with it it bums me hard see all this stuff online and people like ADHD you know it's I find it's like my superpower and I'm like fuck you I don't find that at all people again I think it might be a social media thing it's like it's great it means I can do that and do that and do that and do that I'm like I I can't do that or that or half of that or any of that.

1:16:17And, and, and I've got a heap of people that work for me and I fucking hate them all because they don't do enough for me. They do it. Like, it's just, I find it exhausting and it's the dopamine thing. I don't, we don't produce dopamine, that fucking drug that makes you happy. Damn. And it, it's, it's just, it's hard. I find it really, really hard. so people with ADHD don't produce dopamine I think we just I think it's harder it's a lot harder for us to produce dopamine like 10 times harder I think it is and I really feel that on a fucking cellular level trying to write a stand up show like you need the dopamine you need the excitement I need a brain that can work that can go that's funny, that's funny, bring it in People with ADHD have at least one defective gene Oh damn, your shit's messed up Yeah, we're fucking The DRD2 Gene makes it difficult for neurons to respond to dopamine The neurotransmitter that is involved in feelings of pleasure And the regulation of attention Wow Can you please tell me what See, I have to read it again Can you please tell me what the DRD2 gene is?

1:17:36Is that just I wonder if that's what's in Ritlin dopamine receptor d2 also known as d2r is a protein that in humans is encoded by the drd2 gene um yeah dopamine the dopamine d2 receptor is the main receptor for most anti-psychotic drugs the structure of dr2 and complex with the atypical it's not helping me no it's so many words for me right now? Yeah, it's a lot. Pretty, pretty pictures though. You reckon I've got 80 days? I did. I was like, they look like streamers. That's what I thought when I looked at. Yeah, because I just, I'd say, what if I take an antidepressants? I got off like three months ago and then I just got back on like two days ago.

1:18:20I just couldn't take it anymore. I was on antidepressants. Coming off though, I actually, my last standup show, I talk a lot about that. That's no fucking joke coming off those. Did you find it really hard? Yeah, I found it hard. I found the harder part for me is realizing that I have to go back on right now. Because I think I didn't want to have to be back on. And traveling in Australia has been, it's just been tough. It's been tough to like, I had a good pattern of like fitness and stuff at home. And I've still been doing well, but just not as organized. Your sleep patterns get off. So it put me in like a real, I got into like, I got real angry.

1:19:00and then I got like in a real tough spot and I just didn't know what else to do. So I was like, I think I just have to get back on them. So I think part of me was really bummed out that I had to. Yeah. Yeah, I understand that. I remember when I had to go, I was on them, then I went off and went back on them and I thought the same thing. I was like, I don't want to be trapped on it. I felt trapped on antidepressants. Yeah. It takes so long to come off them. like coming off that like takes six weeks and I have to wean yourself off. I was like, I just, I don't want to have to do that again. Well, I got on them like 20 years ago.

1:19:37So I'm like, have I just, and the tough part is I don't have a lot of feelings. I'll have feelings, but it's hard to know what they are because the antidepressants kind of just make everything feel the same. Right. And then a lot of times some feelings I don't process. So I get in this tough spot where I'll get off the antidepressants so I can have some feelings. Right. But then sometimes if I'm not careful, there's some pitfalls and that can get pretty deep. And so it's just tough because it's like, well, I want to get married or something one day. And so I start thinking, well, I don't even know how I feel about people sometimes.

1:20:13If I'm dating, it's hard for me to even know because it's just hard for me to access my feelings. Yeah, they're numbing, aren't they? Blunting. They blunt. Yeah, everything kind of feels the same. It's like, oh man, I just saw that dog get hit by a bus. Or do I like Sharon? Yeah, exactly. It's the same feeling. You're trying. So I was like, I have to get off of these or I'm just going to be stuck in this cycle of not knowing how I feel about someone, you know? Yeah. But then it's just gotten too steep recently. So I'm going to get back on. I am back on now. And then maybe I'll get off whenever I get back home.

1:20:47See, when I'm touring, I'm in the best routine. Isn't that weird? Wow. When I'm at home, I'm so fucking scattered with the kids and life. And I think because I probably have my husband there as well. I'm like, help. And is a husband helpful or is a husband not helpful? No, he's brilliant. Let's get to the bottom of it. Yeah, that's the only reason I'm here. Really? Yeah. Always with the children. To tell you how great my, yeah. Damn. He's all time. No, he's brilliant. Is it hard to love somebody after you're like married for a while? Or does it get different kind of? it's not hard to love him we've been together for 20 years oh wow i think i mean he's the only thing i've committed to and not i'm not i just mean person i mean thing i adhd you can't i don't know how to yeah really really really crave stability yet i'm fucking terrified by it but I need it.

1:21:49So it's, and I have that with him. So it's different. Sure. But it's, it's, I'm, I love, yeah, stability. And I get that from him. Oh, that's nice. It's so great. Was it hard to make that decision? Yeah. Cause I think I have like a tough time with commitment. I just, it's like fucking the last thing I want to do. Well, I think I'm a goal-oriented person as well. So, like, I kind of met him and went, let's go. I also fell pregnant, so we got married. Oh, you did? Yeah, but we were together for… Two months. Yeah. Week and a half. No, eight years. Wow. Yeah, ages. Long distance. We've always been long distance.

1:22:37You have? Yeah. Something kind of nice about it. It's almost sort of a romantic and long distance. Like, you're coming back from war. Yeah. he's going off with the troops or whatever absolutely he's at home making things for me making it nice making the weapons yeah making the pie that I eat when I come in and so now with touring and being away for work we're kind of used to it yeah do Australian comedians feel like they have to go to America you have to get that American audience is there like a feeling like that I don't think so I mean for me yes because my audience is there because of the internet but there's some fucking brilliant Australian comics, some of my favourite, that are here and are killing it here and don't have to go anywhere.

1:23:20Oh, that's nice. I mean, I'm sure they probably want to go do what they want to do but they're killing it here. They don't need to. It's a smaller pool as well. So, you know, a lot of our comedians are all on TV as well. They get great jobs on telly. They don't need to worry about fucking off over there. Yeah. Yeah. I know. It's so nice here. It's so safe. That's the craziest thing. it's like you can go somewhere and you're not going to get killed. Well, yeah, by a gun, you might buy a fucking shark. Yeah, yeah, but you're going to notice that your pants are getting wet first before you're like.

1:23:52Yeah, when you go swimming in the ocean, you're like, today might be the fucking day. Yeah, but not just walking down the street. Yeah, you're not milling in a park and it's some fucking. Yeah, exactly. Tarantula just runs at your face. Some dope shark just rolls up on you, you know. Fucking alligator comes after you. Oh, we have a, yeah, it's one of our most dangerous animals over there. is just homeless people and drugs and the gun. Can you imagine if guns were all over your country? I fucking can't. When I'm over there, I'm in the States, I'm like, we rolled into a place when I was doing a show on the last tour and 500 meters down the street there was a shooting at the local mall.

1:24:33Yeah. I was like, are we alerting authorities to get me the fuck out of here? Like, you know, it's the biggest thing in the world for us. It's the biggest. If there's a shooting, we're in New South Wales. If there's a shooting in fucking Queensland, I'm telling you, siren alarms will go off here. Oh, yeah. And I remember then these women came to my show that night and I do a meet and greet after and it's that thing as well. Do I talk about it when I get on stage? What do I do? It was so close by. Like three people were fucking shot and killed. Sorry, I didn't know they were dying. No, but like, it's like, what the fuck?

1:25:10Yeah. And then I, you know, you make the decision not to talk about it because it's like I'm giving you guys an hour of laughter and I don't want to be that Australian that comes in and goes, you guys are fucked. And then I did a meet and greet and there was this group of women after. And they were carrying a casket. Yeah. And I was like, that's really full on with what happened and they just glazed over. They didn't care. Well, no, they just, you have to because they're going to put their kids on a fucking school bus the next day and send them off to school. It's like, yeah, anyway, do you miss your kids when you travel without them?

1:25:42I'm like, oh, you guys have different coping mechanisms than we have. It's built different. Oh, well, no, it's gotten extremely just severe and bizarre over there. It blows my mind. People are like wishing their children well and like getting them like Kevlar and stuff for Christmas and like bullet resistant things. It's just. And all the debates that go on after there's a shooting, they're like, well, you know why this is. because some random man had an issue once with his mother and found, and I'm like, what's the end of that sentence? A gun. You fuckheads. Like, what the fuck? I agree with you, but how would you get rid?

1:26:23That's the problem is at this point, there's no. No, you're fucked. You're so far in with your NRA and everyone's all up in everyone. Yeah, it's like, how would you get all the guns? Well, we did a buyback system in Australia. You did? We had a mass shooting, Port Arthur, 96, was it? Oh. And it was the greatest mass shooting we've had in this country. And then our government did a buyback system. You got$300 for everyone who brought in their fucking guns. And they fucking, sure, there's psychos who were like, no one gets my gun. But we did a buyback system. In America, I bet you would get 20 ,000 guns.

1:27:01Shot in the face. hey I have an idea fuck off okay yeah you would get you're right shot in the fucking face

1:27:13you gotta cut all this out cause now I'm terrified when I go to America I'm gonna shot in the fucking face no you're not getting shot I sent a DM to Pablo Escobar's wife when she got out of prison and I haven't been killed yet so I didn't know I thought she was single I thought oh you sent it like a fucking DM I mean I didn't say like oh I thought you were like congratulations he's out I wish you both all the best now that, oh, dude. I just said, hola, mama. But still, I think, yeah, people could perceive that wrong. But, like, I, yeah, you're going to be fine. But, yeah, it's so crazy. You don't realize how less stress I feel being here.

1:27:47It's like I don't even want to go back. Part of me doesn't even want. It's so fucking scary. You don't realize that there's always this thought in the back of your head that somebody's going to just fucking. He's got a gun, I think, all the time. And the shooters are the worst. They show up, they kill 19 people. They're just trying to shoot one guy. Fucking hell. They have the worst aim. We've got to start training these kids to shoot better. I'm going to stay out of that one. I reckon I got in and out. I'm doing everything I can to get the fuck out of this now. Cancel my tour. I'm not going. I don't even care.

1:28:20I don't know what the solution is. But yes. I do. Fucking guns. I agree with you, but how do you get rid of them? because the criminals are not going to turn them in and the guy that's afraid the criminal isn't going to turn it in isn't going to turn it in. Don't you have incentives to buy guns over there? You open a bank account, you get a gun. Maybe start there. People don't want, yeah, nobody would. It's just too ingrained in the culture. Yeah, no one's going to like it. It's like having a belly button. Right? If you try to take somebody's fucking belly button. You get shot in the face. People would be pretty TO'd or pissed off.

1:28:56I'm sure you have. It's very popular. Jim Jefferies bit on gun control in America. It's good. He's so good. He's such a legend. Have you gotten to meet him? No. That bit he does is fucking brilliant. It terrifies me though when I'm over there. It's very scary. It terrifies us. It's really not cool. I run my mouth. I run my mouth a lot. When I get there, I'm like, well, I can't because I don't know. But you guys are charming. I mean, you guys are like when the rare white wombat comes to the zoo or whatever. Is that hard? I feel like that's what it's like when Australians come. People want to go see what's going on.

1:29:34Look at them. They're in the cage. Yeah, you're fun. You got your fun. Give them a celery, you know? Are they all British? I just feel like people are so intrigued about seeing you guys. But there is a peacefulness over here. What else is it about it? Have you been to New Zealand? yeah we went to New Zealand that's where it's at I fucking love NZ it's beautiful I love it over there very unique magical I'd move there in a heartbeat we went to Auckland as well and you meet people who

1:30:08are saying making sounds and they don't know what they're saying or there's they're using only vowels I met people who use only vowels zero consonants you're like wow come fucking out you look like a fucking witch then oh I saw a guy he sprained his fucking spine trying to finish a sentence I think you just maybe ran into someone who happened to be on fucking ice like that doesn't that's how New Zealanders speak it could have been like the one dude who's on fucking meth in the street you rock up and talk to there could have been some trankies going on let's bring up that one video of this girl.

1:30:51You see this video of this young lady? It's so funny. When you're putting your mind to it, you know exactly what to do indoors. How was that for you? Oh, it was amazing. I mean, it was such a strong race. We were all running so fast, multiple running in the 50s, so I knew I had to go out fast. I'd look in front of me, so I wanted to be in front and I could hear how far she was behind me. I don't... Hang on. Where's she from? What accent is that? I can't get past it. That's Disney's, bro. She's from Disney. Oh, boy. Sorry, can you play? Let's play it again. Is that all right if we could play it again?

1:31:27For the children. I just need to fucking know. Again, you know what I can feel right now? The front part of my fucking brain. Mind to me. You know exactly what to do. She's British. Indoors. How was that for you? What are you? It was amazing. I mean, it was such a strong race. We were all running so fast, multiple running in the 50s, so I knew I had to go out fast. I'd leak in front of me, so I wanted to be in front, and I could hear how far she was behind me, I was like, okay, this is how we keep going. And this crowd is so amazing. Her mate's like, you've put the mic on the wrong, bitch. That's Mickey Mouse.

1:31:58When she's not doing that, she's a suit operator at fucking Disneyland of Mickey Mouse. She's got to be. That's amazing. See? You can convince yourself Mickey Mouse has just broken the 400-meter indoor world record. Fans react as Femke Bowl. Femke Bowl's interview. Oh, Glasgow. She's Scottish. Glasgow. Have you toured over there in the UK? Yeah. Oh, boy. Yeah. But I've never been so tired. I've just been like... Right? That was fucking great. I know. With the American... Oh, hang on. American cartoon character. The Dutch runner in the world championships with a world record of 49.24 seconds in the 400, but blew past the timing again in Glasgow.

1:32:43What happened? I want to know what happened 30 seconds before that interview. Did she rock up? And they were like, let's do an interview. And her mate was like. It was amazing. Her mate was like, I don't reckon we need to do an interview. I reckon we're good. But Mickey Mouse was like, oh, I have a crack. And they're like, oh, we've already achieved so much. We just nailed it. She's like, you guys never let me do interviews. Can I do an interview? And they're like, all right. Gird your loins. Here she is. It's a small world after all. That's crazy, man. That's funny. Any other news, guys? Anything else that's going on?

1:33:16No, that's the only thing that's going on in the world. fucking Mickey Mouse went for a run. I mean, there's other bigger stuff we could talk about.

1:33:25Oh, yeah. They went to the zoo. Oh, yeah. I saw that. Great. Well done. Not surprised. It's something you, I think it's like an Australian tradition coming here and going to the zoo, huh? Yeah, I think so. It's a pretty cool zoo. Oh, it's pretty. It's like a sanctuary as well. They do conservation. They do some fucking great work there. I thought it was way hands on. I was kind of surprised. And yeah, it's like you really get close to some animalia. The Kelsey man has a brother. Is that correct? And did he just retire from something? Yeah. He plays football. He played for the NFL for the Philadelphia Eagles.

1:33:58Is that the same team as the other Kelsey man? No, different brother. That just won the Super Bowl? No. Because I saw his press conference. Very tear-filled. I thought his mother had died. It was a lot of tears. I was like, we all fucking retire? What happened? It meant a lot to him. But it's everywhere. He went through a lot of stuff. He went through like also he talked about like his family. He got real deep into it. I think sometimes it's almost you wonder though like are they trying to get them to do more now? I thought it was very genuine and touching. But yeah, he had a lot of. Look, I thought it was very genuine and very touching.

1:34:36I just didn't need to hear it. I was like maybe on a podcast like, you know, you're going on later and having a chat to someone about. But it went on and on. We had no cousins. It was just me and my brother and we just – I was like, just come out and make the announcement. All right, I'm done. It's been a great season. It's been a great 40 years that I've been playing catch-ups. I was like, bitch, you're still fucking crying. Like it just went on for me. International Women's Day, so disrespectful. Oh, that's a good point on International Women's Day. Do you think that people are less emotional in Australia?

1:35:07No, I think we're still pretty emotional. Yeah? Yeah, I just don't think we have as much media attention on it. like you know what I mean and especially him it's kind of interesting the side effects of like cause I've always thought Travis Kelsey like darker women right that's always been the I don't know the man like if he ate an Oreo he would just eat the sides oh right well he's not now not now I mean now he's going heavy cream he's going full cream so it's just I think a lot of people I think there's a lot of like a lot of people wondering the reality behind that like is it real you know and you don't know with the media you don't know what their strategy is you don't know what their plan is you know they could easily approach people and say this is what we want to do yeah well Australia shat themselves when he flew in for one of her concerts well yeah that's the crazy part I just wonder what his life is going to be like now because that's a level I feel like of fame that's kind of like miserable every interview is asking about her every and it will be for the rest of his life it's Taylor Swift you can't fight that I wonder if you think about that before you but maybe you don't, I don't know, I'm just thinking out loud you know I mean if you're really in love you don't that's what I was going to say, if you love something you're like fuck whatever, who cares but I think if you go in with it with an idea of it being an arrangement, then it's different So maybe it is love.

1:36:42Do you know what I mean? If you love someone, you just go into it and then you find yourself in interviews always talking about them, always talking about your relationship. Yeah. Gosh. Gosh. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy, that level of fame. Fuck. I couldn't do it. Yeah. Could you? It feels like a lot. No. No. No. No, it already, sometimes it's weird when it starts to feel like your own name doesn't even belong to you anymore. Does that make any sense to you? It makes absolute sense to me. Even when I'm on a fucking phone call, calling, you know, my kid's school. Hi, Celeste Barber. Shut up.

1:37:21I feel like I'm going, can I speak to so-and-so? Or, yeah, even saying my name now feels kind of weird. Or when my mates are like, we will get a table somewhere. They're like, say Celeste Barber. Like, no. And they're like, we do? What do you fucking mean you do? You're not even there? I'm not there. I'm in America. How do you mean you've got the fucking table at Nobu in Sydney? They're like, no, it's fine. And then they just spend the whole time at dinner going, she's coming.

1:37:49That's actually a great idea. Yeah. If you're waiting for a table out there, make sure you say. Adele. Yeah. Adele. You get a table with Adele. Well, I'm glad I got to have a table for a little while today with Celeste Barber. Thanks for meeting up. I know you have a lot going on and I know you have to go home to your son's birthday. Yeah. And his football game. No, it was good. It was good to come in. It was good to me. I happy we made it work. Thanks for moving it as well. I know you had to move it around a bit for me. I appreciate it. That's all right. I'm glad that we got to. Yeah. I was trying to learn as much as I could about Australia, but I think we talked about Australia some, huh?

1:38:23Yeah. You're going to do like Great Barrier Reef or Great Ocean Road, any of those sort of things while you're here? I think the next time I come, I'm going to come back one more time. And make it a thing. Yeah. just one more time before you die well I don't know I mean I might come back more than that I used to have a dream I would meet my wife in Australia yeah right but I think a lot of people romanticize stuff like that you know yeah there's nothing wrong with that yeah no it'd be nice but you never know but I think the first time I came I did shows like and it was like travel show the same day that sort of thing it was way too hard on me it's too much that's what my last tour I did that it's way too hard and so this time we slowed it down and it's been awesome.

1:39:03Got to be at the Gold Coast and see different places and spend a little bit more time in different cities. But then it also gets kind of long. You know, you're gone for three weeks and you're like... Yeah. But my biggest audiences are in Australia. Yeah, right. Mine are in the States. Look at that. Wow. Isn't that weird? Yeah, that's the goal, isn't it? To slow it down so you can kind of live and enjoy work. But like I was saying, I can't with fucking kids and living so far away. Where did you go on the Gold Coast? We went to Paradise Cove or something Surfers Paradise Surfers yeah It was good we got some electric bikes And we got to ride out onto the water Like onto the beach It was unreal Might have been the neatest thing I've ever done I literally felt like I was on the moon Which we've never been new Fucking magic beaches we have up there That's where I live up there Really?

1:39:54It's just like Yeah I know it was so fucking good I just wanted to just rip my fucking penis off and just throw it in the water that's how I felt really oh you might find your wife up there who knows yeah for some reason when I'm having a good time I literally want to rip my penis off and just throw it into whatever I'm having fun at kangaroo just whip it at a kangaroo at a sanctuary nah those kangaroos are too dangerous yeah they'll fuck you up alright Celeste Baba people can watch your special on Netflix they can check out your tour now will this also be coming to the States? yeah I'm there 2nd of May Netflix is a joke and then touring for 2 months May, June buy fucking tickets CelesteBaba.com please I've enjoyed spending time with her I'm sure you guys will too and thank you so much and happy birthday to your son how old is he going to be?

1:40:5110 oh wow it's such a big age yeah double digits god he's growing up His name's Buddy. It is a real name for someone. It's fucking Buddy. Wow. That's the best thing about Australia. People have names like Buddy and Poppy and Lily. Yeah. In America when we're there and my other son's name is Lou. They're like, hey, Buddy. And Lou's like, no, that's him. And Buddy's like, how does everyone know my name in America? In America we have names like Bullet and Casket. And fucking Stud and Tard. And Cock. And Chunk.

1:41:27All right. Cheers, Celeste. Thank you. Now I'm just floating on the breeze And I feel I'm falling like these leaves I must be cornerstone Oh, but when I reach that ground I'll share this peace of mind I found I can feel it in my bones But it's gonna take... Amen.