E504 Matt McCusker

25:55There's a lot of them. I think they're always going on, too. Just terrible. Oh, there's one in Wyoming? Genocide Warning in Manupur, India? Okay, Israel and Hamas is up there. Genocide Watch, Turkey's Obstruction of Aid to Kurds. Genocide Alerts. This is currently from GenocideAlerts.com. That's a website? That's kind of... Who bought that? This is fucking unbelievable. Imagine if you bought that. What kind of world do we live in? Does this show up on your whoop bracelet or something? This is unbelievable that we have a website called Genocide Alerts now. That's crazy. So you wake up in the morning and you check.

26:32Genocide emergencies and warnings, 2024. Current alerts. Israel, Hamas, and Gaza. Manupur, India. I'm looking for the PayPal link at the bottom. Yeah. That would be like$7 ,500. We'll keep fighting these.

26:51yeah dude there's more oh that's 2022 okay so there's not too too many just i just wonder i wonder if we get accurate news about it too though that's a thing i mean yeah it's pretty tough man it's like coming out of a usually some sort of dictatorship on one side or the other yeah dude i don't know what's going on like if you ask me about like texas politics i'm like i don't know i have no clue you need to know it today's episode is sponsored by PrizePix. That's how you pick them. If you like firing on sports like I do, PrizePix is the best daily fantasy sports app for you. What I like about it is that it's unique.

27:27You can fire on all your favorite sports like NBA, UFC, NHL, and many more. But instead of choosing teams, you choose individual players. Now, each player has a set projection, and you either choose more or less than the set projection. For example, if you think Luka Doncic is going to have more than 17 rebounds, then you're like me. While if you think Josh Hart is going to have less than nine points, you would choose that. If you are smart with sports and you know what players are going to perform on what nights, PrizePix is the best app for you. Download the app and use code Theo. PrizePix will match your deposit up to$100.

28:13You can get in there, you can pick them, and you can enjoy it. That's PrizePix. Pick them and enjoy it. This episode is sponsored by Blue Chew. That's right. Let's talk about sex, fellas. If you're having sex, some of you aren't, you can take Blue Chew as well. You don't have to be engaging in sex. You can just take them and watch your body work, baby. Remember the days when you were always ready to go? Now you can increase your performance and get that extra confidence in bed. I'm talking about BlueChew.com. BlueChew is a unique online service that delivers the same active ingredients as Viagra, Cialis, and Levitra, but in chewable tablets and at a fraction of the cost.

28:58The best part, it's all done online, so no doctor's visits. no awkward conversations and no waiting in line at the pharmacy. Does it work? Yep. Do you think you need it? It's up to you, but I like popping them and chewing my way to some decent wiener. You can do it. Blue Chew wants to help you have better sex, and we've got the special deal for our listeners. Try Blue Chew free when you use our promo code Theo at checkout. Just pay$5 shipping. that's bluechew.com promo code THEO to receive your first month free visit bluechew.com for more details and important safety information and we thank Blue Chew for sponsoring the podcast Matt McCusker you're a podcaster and a comedian you started out obviously working in ice cream you started out working in theft it was theft, ice cream, retail what retail did you work at?

29:51it was really just Brewster's and the candy place I did, my family did construction, so I did more construction growing up, but it was like, I got a couple retail. I kind of did almost every, I worked in an office for a couple months, did retail, did construction, pizza delivery. Did pizza delivery. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I was pretty chill. Pizza delivery was pretty crazy, dude. Yeah, I was delivering pizza in a bad neighborhood, too, and that's like scary as fuck. I had multiple, I had multiple instances where I had like same time a pie with the cash. It was crazy. Oh, my God. Yeah, it was not good.

30:25I used to cook. I was the cook, too, so I would cook. I was there by myself. I would cook, and then I would lock the store, then go deliver a pizza, and have to, like, think, all right, let me see that. It was crazy. It was unbelievable. You're basically a one-man business. Why were you working for somebody else? It was my cousin's shop. He started a pizza shop, dude, and I was like, yeah, I'll do it. And I had quit the office job. I was at a sales job, and I quit that. I was like, dude, I can't do this anymore. Did you ever sell telemarketing? Did you ever sell like Tony Little Gazelle freestylers to people on like – my buddy used to do that.

30:58My buddy had to work for his dad one summer and his dad owned like a call center and he had to call and sell with his Tony Little – Oh, he was doing those. Dude, he had to sell Tony Little Gazelle freestylers, dude. And it's basically just like – it's almost like a – it's like a swing set for people who could be – and I don't like to say this word out loud, but retarded. Yeah, yeah, yeah. it's a swing set. It's like a bi-leg, bi-pedal swing set for people that could be retarded. It's like for people that are afraid to ski, right? It's basically, it's like this. So it's like wives that want to leave.

31:30I remember those things. It's like, so you can practice as a wife leaving your husband. It's like, that's how you would go, right? It's like every wife that wanted to leave their husband, but they were afraid they would just get on this for an hour. Yeah, he would just pied piper them away. Yeah, that thing's crazy. My buddy had to cold call people and try to sell it to them. So dude, but also they had numbers that would go in that people would call in and uh we would call in all the time dude and he had to do like a like a 30 second preamble right when you call dude we would just he would do it and we'd be like quit did you ever do a call center no man i worked at um we had a pizza place too i worked at one called bj's and uh and then there was another one born again crustions it was a pizza.

32:16Dude, that's nice. It was pretty cool. It was like this church that started a little Italian pie area. Dude, I sold Italian food door to door with a dude, right? There was this guy my mom went on a date with and he was like, he wasn't even Italian. He just had a mustache. That's kind of the part of the South we were in. If somebody had a mustache, they were Italian. We're like, what do you mean? He has a cleft. So anyway, but I had to go door to door with him and I was just like his assistant or something. I would get like two bucks, but he would just sell like Italian, like frozen stuff to wives or whatever.

32:55And then dude, I swear, sometimes I kind of remember this. He would just leave me alone for, I know he was like talking to these wives, like just like dirty business. But let's get into it. I sidetracked it. So Matt, so you got, so that's what you were working in. Yeah. I was doing, you know, I grew up mainly doing construction with odd jobs. And then I went to school for psychology. And then I tried to, well, I did. I dropped my psychology major and then switched to business. Just because my friends were in business. So I was like, I'm going to go chill with my friends. So I switched my whole major to be in class with my friends.

33:30Really? Yeah. It wasn't good. It wasn't a good idea. Looking back on it, I'm like, damn, I fucked up. Because psychology is like, you got to go to school for like seven more years. And I was like, fuck that. Like all my friends were in business. I'm like, I'm just going to do that. So I was like, I'm going to go to school for business. And I assumed if I went to school for business, I'd automatically make$100 ,000 a year. That's what I told myself. I'm like, yeah, I'll make 100 G's for sure. And like 2008 came, the real estate market collapsed. But I, no, I started doing standup when I was like 23 in Philly.

34:00Okay. So I would do it. What I would do is I'd do standup for like six months and I'd be like, fuck this and stop. Do it for like nine months, fuck this and stop. And I just did that forever and ever and ever. So, and then me and Shane started the podcast. and I had still been doing stand-up. Back then I was doing stand-up a lot. So I just got divorced. Oh, you did? Yeah, I made a really, when I was younger, I was like 26 or 27. I like got engaged when I was younger and I was like, no more of this bullshit or funny business. I'm going to put my best foot forward and be a husband. And I just fucking failed, dude.

34:30Like I couldn't do it. I for real thought, I just thought that's what you do. I'm like, yeah, it's time to, you know, quit fucking around. I like try to get, I was like a personal trainer at LA Fitness. I was like selling weed. He's like, it was bad. It was bad, dude. Damn, dude. It was bad. Wow. Well, you're entrepreneurial, it sounds like. True. Yeah. My family are all entrepreneurial. My dad owned his own business. They all did their own thing. So I grew up with that. That was just kind of drilled into me. Like, you have to work for yourself. Wow. Yeah. Which is cool. That's kind of cool. Yeah.

34:59But they also, everyone works like, working 60 hours a week was like the norm. My dad was always like, 40 hours is part-time. He's like, if you do 40-hour weeks, you're a part-timer. Yeah. I was like, hell yeah. Somebody said Jesus only worked like 30 hours a week. Who said that? Huh? Who said that? That's like pretty. Bring it up. I know a lot of people have said it. That's kind of bullshit. How many hours a week did Jesus work? Look it up. 30 kind of is the perfect. Dude, I could tell you a lot of shit, dude. I heard honestly Frederick Douglass like dudes, bro. What? Yeah. And nobody wants to say that shit.

35:33Frederick Douglass. Damn, really? Yeah. Are you breaking it? I don't want to out the dude, but. Free at last. True. I mean, hey. It took me, I had to go through like my database of people. I thought at first to talk about Michael Douglas. And then I went, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Different guy, different guy. Damn, he was fucking different. Totally different guy. Possibly fucking way different. He was possibly fucking dudes. That's crazy. I mean, I get it. It's not that crazy, though. No, it's not. Because think about it. If you're like, I'm going to do something different. I don't want to have slavery, right?

36:07I don't want to. I'm going to lead my people to a different direction. Yeah. And especially a lot of more men, I think. What percentage of slaves were males? That's a good point. Never thought about that. Also, he was an outside-the-box thinker. He was, you know. Right. So he was like, you know what else I might say? Literally. Okay. Whoa. It was 179. Damn, that's like China. For every 100 females. It's like China. So that's definitely a good way to meet dudes, probably. Yeah. Sausage party. So, yeah, the Underground Railroad was a sausage party, dude. That's fucking bullshit. That's fucking bullshit.

36:41No, that's fucking bullshit. Yeah, that is bullshit, dude, because, yeah, that's crazy. The fucking Underground Railroad was a sausage party. Oh, I bet dudes were hooking up, bro. Probably, yeah, once they got, yeah. Especially going to, like, the East Coast, you get there. It was probably, like, liberal Zelle back then. It was, like, liberal. It was probably not at all, but, yeah, that's fucked up. I didn't know the ratio was so off. I assumed it was one-to-one. Me too. Yeah, you just kind of think that. Isn't that funny? Your brain just kind of thinks that. Yeah, but like, why? If you really think about that for like two more seconds, you're like, uh, what happened?

37:16Like, there's a reason, like China has suppressed female births. They're like, how did that work out? You know, there's no way they were being born at that rate of male to female. Right, they just chose to suppress it. Yeah, that's fucked up. Apparently in Rome, they used to just throw babies in the trash like nothing. Huh. In Sparta, there was like a badge of honor. If your kid came out like a little bit defective, you were supposed to just like toss them in the trash and everyone would be like, nice. No way. Because they're like, that's how we'll keep us strong. Yeah. Well. Shout out to the Jews.

37:46The Jews were people back then who were like, that's wrong. And they didn't do it. They would tell people not to do it? Yeah. They're like, you don't throw kids out like that. Dude, this Jewish lady used to drop her kids off at the McDonald's in our town and fucking they would stay there all day long. Really? Yeah. Those kids were there every day. And I think one of them was mentally disabled or something. So people were always saying that like she dropped them off there and it wasn't cool, you know? Yeah, that's not nice at all. But I think, yeah, even a couple of someone, I think more than one of them might have been mentally disabled.

38:14But also most of our town was fucking mentally disabled, dude. Like you don't realize when other people are like mentally disabled people stay in one area and fuck, you know? Yeah. So all that's going to happen over time of that area is just like a quagmire of intellectual cul-de-sac-ing, you know? Yeah, dude. Dude, especially when you find out about, like, Asperger's, I've come to the, well, I've actually, it was, like, brought to my attention, I kind of believe, my one cousin. I think my entire family has Asperger's. Like, my entire, like, a touch of it. And, like, she explained this, and I was like, damn, dude, you're right, we all have Asperger's.

38:55Yeah. And I was like, you know, kind of, it's good to know. Not, you know, I'm not trying to jump on the bandwagon, but it's like, I'm talking about, like, just a tiny spider bite. Like, a little, we definitely. Just enough. Just enough, dude. Just some fucking freckles on the cerebellum. Because we go to family parties. It's just data dumps. It's just like you're sitting there like waiting to tell someone what you're into. And they're like, oh, this week I actually did like I paved a patio. And they're like, oh, cool. Actually, my podcast. And we just, everyone just data dumps on each other. And everyone's like, all right, later.

39:23It goes home. Yeah, I feel that, dude. It's tight. It's kind of nice. Yeah, it's definitely times are changing. Things are blurring. I mean, we have illegal aliens are going to be the lifeguards at the swimming pool. That guy's crazy, dude. I almost fucking love the dude now, though. He's like, we have so many open lifeguard positions and, hmm, so many good swimmers that are illegal aliens. Dude, it's such a funny— Yeah, he didn't even have to go into that detail. He could have been like, yeah, we're going to open it up. Apparently, I read a book and they said we're going to have to start actually enticing immigrants.

39:58Once the baby boomers die, RIP, we're going to have a huge population dip. So our immigration policy in like 2040 will most likely be us begging immigrants to come or competing with other countries who have severe population dips. Like Europe, Canada, China is going to get crushed. We're going to be courting immigrants from like Africa and Latin America. Really? Like, please come here. Yeah, that's what the guy said. That blows my mind. Dude, the population dip is going to be crazy in like 40 years. He said there's going to be houses that are just going to drop because we have so many houses. Once baby boomers, there's so many more baby boomers than the other generations.

40:33But what are you talking about? Because people have been saying that overpopulation is going to be an issue. That's the thing. It's not at all. It's not going to be whatsoever. Well, this is the first time I'm hearing of that. Yeah, it's kind of good news. I mean, it's kind of cool. Yeah, but it's also, I'm just realizing that the last time I heard it was somebody just told me it. And then now you're just telling me this. So it's like. I'm telling you, overpopulation is a myth. We're not going to be over. Is it over, which, what are we doing right now? Overpopulation or underpopulation? according to the U.S.

40:58Census Bureau the civilian non-institutionalized population has grown in a rate of 1.1 % over the past 40 years. Yeah, that's baby boomers. Okay. And then once they die the developing world is still having kids like that but all of like Canada, Europe, Asia like no one, any developed country has maybe one to two kids per household and the baby boomers are having like five. So you just do that math and it's just like the population just spikes. The brothers are smashing though, dude. A lot of them are definitely having some fucking kids. Yeah, for sure. There's definitely, you know, but they're on average.

41:29But yeah, they're definitely, they're crushing it. And the Mexies are smashing, dude. Smashing up. And they should. Yeah. They should. Oh, definitely, dude. I don't know how they do it. Usually if I come up from a hard day's work, the last thing I want to do is fucking smash. Yeah, it's tough. I don't even want to jerk off sometimes. That's how sad I am. After a hard day at work? Yeah, it's like I won't even jerk myself off. It's like. Yeah. But I guess that's good, probably. There's nothing sadder than somebody jerking off kind of. Yeah, it's really, it's weird, especially before work. Jerking off before work is just like, it's pretty tough.

42:01First of all, if you do that, your whoop bracelet should let the cops know.

42:09There's no reason. They track you like the COVID tracker. Everyone's phone dings like this guy just fapped. That would be terrible. There's no way we're far from that, though. Dude, once they get something in our body that can detect like, Because we don't do a lot. We're hungry. We yerk off. We have cancer, right? It's like we're not doing a lot of crazy shit, you know? They could figure – and with your phone data. I'm paranoid still because they say they're just looking – they're like tracking your facial expressions and what you're looking at at all times. Damn. Takes one rogue engineer to be like, bang, got him.

42:43And you're just – you on your camera like, ooh, ooh. With what you're looking at, just print it out, and they can be like, bam. Oh, they watched you watch porn, you mean? I mean, they could. Apparently, all of our data is being watched, but it's being watched in mass. But you would think, like, if I'm Zuck, I could definitely be like, okay, where is he at? And get, like, your IP address. If you give them your IP address, they can go on your computer from their computer. I'm going to change your mind then. Yeah. You got to use a VPN, I guess, but. Yeah, but the VPNs, a lot of them are made by Facebook in those companies.

43:14Yeah, that makes sense. Of course they're going to make a VPN. Remember Signal and all those? Like, did you ever use those, like, burner phone apps on your phone? Yeah, still use them. So there was one in Europe that was like the app to use if you're up to no good. And it was just set up by the government. And they caught people committing murders and ordering hit men and shit. It's like, yo, we got a safe line. I need you to kill a guy. And the government just collected all of it and just busted everybody. It makes no sense because people who sell drugs are like, hit me up on Signal. And you're like, dude, they can get this.

43:44Like, no, it's encrypted. It's like, yeah, I guess, man. The craziest thing that happened on Signal. I got on a Signal one time. Someone was like, you got to get on Signal. And I accidentally hit the thing where it's like, let all your contacts know you're on signal or whatever. So, dude, I got for like four days. I fucking people were like, what are you up to? Just crazy shit, huh? It is funny to see who's turned. When you open signal, you see who of your contacts are in signal. You're like, all right, that's what's up. You just get to find out who's living kind of a seedy, a little, doing something seedy.

44:15Yeah, who's willing to risk it all. Yeah. yeah there's like signal we chat but yeah that's and it's a funny thing people just have total faith and like hit me up on signal yeah all right man but dude imagine you're screaming for help in a pool and the guy who fucking is supposed to help you doesn't even speak english dude he thinks you're just doing a fucking tiktok dance or something i mean they'd probably be on it though they would probably jump down yeah i mean dude i i'm all in favor of that because i've been burnt too many times by lack of lifeguards, but it's just, God damn it, that it's such a, it's such a strike, politically, it's just such a strange cause, it's like, all right, bro, I feel you, we can get into lifeguarding, but we have, where I live, there's no lifeguards, we have like neighborhood pools, no lifeguards, it's pretty tight.

45:08Yeah, going to a pool by yourself, dude, I remember, yeah, being at a pool by myself once, and I think I got nervous or whatever, So I went to masturbate. They had like a little pool house in there, you know? And some guy peeked in the bathroom when I was in there. What? Yeah. And then I was like, oh, my God, dude. It made me so nervous. And then I had to go back out. It was just me and him just swimming in the pool together for a while, dude. No. Yeah, this dude would just blatantly see me masturbating in Atlanta. Oh, man. I will say jerking off fresh out the pool kind of hits different. If you get out of a pool and you jerk off, it's slightly different.

45:49Something that has to do with, like, getting a lot of sunlight and then jerking off. I swear by this. Like, leaving the beach at, like, lunchtime. To jerk off? That's insane. Whoop bracelet. That is fucking... I've done it. I'll be honest. I've done it. Dude, what? It's crazy, dude. Skin's all warm. It's nice. Yeah, I guess there is different cool times to do it, huh? Yeah. To a full moon. People used to do it a lot when I was growing up. Full moon would be nice. That would be definitely the day after that people would be just warped, fucking just did like, gave it all they had. They're having them.

46:22So how did you meet Shane? Because you and Shane started Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast, which is, last year was the highest grossing podcast on Patreon. Yeah, it's crazy. It's insane. It's unbelievable. When you start them, like you check the data and be like, oh my God, oh my God. Then at one point you stop checking and you see your number one, you're like, what the fuck? I love, it just, it's surreal. But we met, so we were both doing standup. It was 2014. I had won Philly's Funniest. He comes 2015, so I'm like thinking I'm hot shit. A white guy, the Caitlin Clark of Philly, huh? Yeah, yeah.

46:50I love it. Well, he came in, and I think he won it 2015. So we met in 2014. I just won it. I'm like really feeling myself. So I'm at a show. It's funny because I'm like, dude, this is crazy. So when I go to a show, it's above an ice cream parlor. So I'm just lording out above the ice cream parlor. Leveling up literally. Yeah, yeah. It was funny, too, because I think the owner was crazy. It was a whole debacle. But so I've he had just moved from Harrisburg and no one knew who he was. So he came from Harrisburg and I'm watching him and he was headlining and I'm going to come on a horseback or something.

47:23I mean, the story of Shane Gillis has to be. Well, it was crazy because, again, never seen him ever in my life. Yeah. Watching him do stand up in 2014. And I'm going, holy fuck, this dude is so fun. He had back then. I remember specifically he did a joke. I don't remember what it was exactly. It was a very sensitive topic. Like, lost the crowd. And I was like, oh, I guess he's done. Dude, two minutes later, crowd's cracking up. He brought him back. And I was like, whoa. And then we started talking after that. Like that famous burr set in Philly. Dude, it was crazy. And then we, like, started talking after the show.

47:57I was like, dude, that was awesome. And then he showed me a video of a guy getting eaten by a bear. And then I showed him a video of a guy jumping off a roof. And we just totally clicked up. So that was real. That's how we met. and then we started, we got a house together with a couple other comedians pretty shortly afterwards. See, and girls say guys are hard to figure out. I feel like it's like, meet me above an ice cream parlor. That's what I'm saying. Show me a video of something eating something else. I'll show you a video of an animal attacking something. Dude, and we're good. And let's start a family.

48:26Yeah, and I was like, freshly divorced, air mattress. I think actually we met before I'd gotten totally divorced. Did you lose a lot of stuff in the divorce? I had nothing. Fuck yeah. Yeah, I always hear people like, oh, she took so much from me. And I'm like, bro, I had no, it was embarrassing. I wish I lost stuff in the divorce, dude. I had nothing. You're still sending her stuff every now and then? I should, man. It was real. It's fucked up. But I just didn't, I didn't have anything. But I like. Do you remember the day you left in the divorce? Dude, it's the saddest day. It's for real the saddest.

48:55Because she's a nice, she was a nice lady. She sounds beautiful. She was a very nice lady. I just, I couldn't do it, dude. Like, it was one of those things where I was living a life that it wasn't my life. It's the only way I can explain it. Like I wasn't, I was meant to do other stuff. I could feel it. And it was just like, I tried my best to get jobs. And I'm like, dude, I can go straight and narrow. Let's get a regular job. That's all I want to do. My dad was like that. Like have work at a place, come home, have kids. I was all for that. I just couldn't, I was like warped. I couldn't do it.

49:22I tried. So you really tried. You made as much of an effort as you could. As I could. But I learned I was severely handicapped in terms of like relating to like, I didn't, You don't realize how bad it is until you live with a woman for a couple years. Handicapped at what? I'm sorry I stepped on you. Like emotional relation and trying to see things from other people's perspectives. I was totally unequipped, but the day I left, Frill was one of the saddest. It was the saddest things ever. I was crying. Where were you? I was in Roxborough, so in Philadelphia, just some area of Philly. It was cool.

49:52I liked the house. We had a dog. Yeah, we had a dog together. And who did the dog come in your car or stayed? It stayed. It was her dog first, to be fair. But uh Yeah she was She was really nice man It was just like Did you talk about Taking the dog? Nah man I wasn't gonna do that That would've been heartless To be like When you said bye Like was there a hug What was that kind of like Final kind of moment like? Just sad It was just like Goodbye You know Did she come out And walk you out Or you said bye inside? She was kicking around So it was kind of like There was a last glance And it was It was real It was like It's etched into my memory It was one of like The saddest days of my life Fuck Because I had never really Felt anything about stuff like that Like my relationships before that Were like I would just develop a girlfriend be like hooking up and then I'd be like oh fuck I got a girlfriend and you know it was like very very disassociated I just go through the motions this I was like trying to put my best foot forward that was like the first time I really like I was like oh I get what people are talking about like with experiencing like serious heartbreak and all that stuff just burnt you down yeah crushed me it for real it it fucking crushed me because I had you crying before you got in the car or did I was crying I was crying on the way when I left I wasn't crying before I got in the car then I was crying on the way it's hard to get the key in the thing sometimes if you're really fucking crying Yeah, dude, I was crying.

51:00And you get the first, get in reverse and all that shit. It was brutal. I'd wait until I'm in forward before I cry. Yeah, and then I had to walk the dog every day because I was like, look, I'll come up and walk the dog while you're at work. I didn't want her to stress about anything. So I would go back in the house during work. No one would be there, and I'd walk the dog, and it was just consumed with guilt and just horrible feelings. Just wandering through your old life like a fucking ghost. Yeah, for real. And I loved the dog, too. And the dog looked, did the dog know, you think? I don't know.

51:26It was definitely pumped to see me. It was always kind of pumped to see me, but I don't know. I couldn't tell. It sounds like it was maybe an SAE or something. What's SAE? Sigma Alpha Epsilon. It just sounds like the dog was in a frat or something. It didn't have any fucking, just pump to see you guys. It was pump. Okay. I would take it for a nice walk. Oh, yeah, it's definitely a pike or something. It was definitely a pike. But yeah, it was for real. It was a big eye-opener for me, though, man. That's when I started being like, okay, like there's, because when you're younger, you're just so in your own head where you're like, I'm the only person with feelings that matter in this world.

51:55And then you like really encounter like the depths of somebody else's. and you're like, oh, this is like serious to like just fuck around with people's lives. So it was a big eye-opener for me. So I did the air mattress on my brother's house for a while. That's heavy, dude. It reminds me, I was in love with a girl in high school, right? When I was a senior and I was in there and I remember I decided I was going to go away to school in University of Arizona. And some people, where I'm from, had never even heard of Arizona, right? They didn't believe in it. People like I showed it on a map and they just, you know, they just called me a map f*** it.

52:27You know, like it was crazy. Some of the stuff that was happening. And, um, I remember just like, she and I were like crying, like in her living room or whatever. Yeah. Um, oh, her mom let me, this was crazy. Her mom let me stay over the last time I was there. Right. But her mom's like, no funny business. You guys can sleep in the same room, like in the family room. Right. What's that about? I don't know, dude, but here's the crazy part. So anyway, somebody started some funny business. And then I'm walking to go get some water or something or get some piss out of my wiener or something. And her mom's sitting right there in a chair.

53:10What? Yeah. Fuck, man. I still feel horrible about that. And you could see that my wiener was still like wienering. Yeah, you're pumped up. Yeah. Oh, God. My wiener was like, it's a party, it's a party, it's a party. And I was young. Did you say anything? You know, huh? Did you say anything? No, but I still feel how she felt. Yeah. I can still feel it. But she loved me. She loved, the mom loved me. And so she had like some respect for me. She knew that I really loved her daughter. That's warped though, that she knew what you guys were, you know, she has to have some sense. But at least she was close enough there in the distance, almost like a bird mom, you know?

53:45Like, hey, I'm going to hang, I'm going to, you can stay in the nest, but I'm going to be right here on the branch. Just in case anybody falls out and breaks a wing or something. You should get a Russian and be like, yo, slow down. Yeah, just in case somebody fucking, yeah. I have to put a worm in the wrong place, you know. But what happened was then the next day I told her, I buy it like this gas station. It was this big sad thing and we're both like bawling, crying, dude. Yeah, fuck. And then I drove off and my fucking car overheated like 600 feet from the gas station, dude. And I had to fucking call her dad to come help me, dude.

54:17That fucking sucks. Because when your car overheats, you think if I drive faster, it starts to cool down your engine. Yeah. But, yeah, that shit sucks. That's embarrassing. Oh, it was horrible, dude. I remember pouring cold water through the fucking air vents trying to get it in that way. I've tried to do that a bunch of times. It sucks, man. It just drips out. Just, yeah, that shit of just that heartbreak, dude. Yeah, I had a real low point the one day when I was—Shane was laughing about this when I was telling him, but I, like, had a real low point driving home the one day from walking the dog.

54:46I'm crying. I would cry every day. I'm crying on the way home driving down Kelly Drive. And that's like in Philly, that's a big outdoor green area. People jog up and down there. And some dude have really short shorts on. And I stopped at a light and he looked in the car and I looked at him and was like, F***. I was crying. Oh, that's the Philadelphia National Anthem, dude. Calling some other dude a f***. He was looking in the car and I was like, F***, what are you looking at? I tried to slam his shorts and I was just visibly bawling. And I was like, it's a low point. I remember just being like, what the f*** was that all about, dude?

55:18Dude, a straight dude crying, that's a hot dude to a gay dude, bro. True, true. He was probably just a dude wearing regular athletic gear. He might not even be gay. Yeah, that's true. I like to think I didn't hate crime a guy while I was crying, but I think he was straight. The guy was straight as hell. The guy was so straight. He said short shorts. Dude, I remember one time. I was fucking crying. Yeah. Oh, obviously, he's in the wrong. Yeah. Dude, I remember one time I was driving and I'd been drinking, right? Because it was, I think it was daytime or whatever. and I'm cruising and the cop had pulled somebody else over on the side of the road and he sees me literally just drinking out of a vodka bottle no shirt dude right just ripping it in a 1984 Ford Escort had the passenger seat stolen out of it right so anyway I'm cruising dude he points at me he's like pull over dude he's like he's dealing with that ticket so I pull over and then I'm like fuck this dude I'm out of here and then I just pulled off dude you got away?

56:18yeah they never caught me it's funny he was like yes come here I'm gonna give you a DUI when I'm done with this dude a lot of guys get away from cops I've heard of a couple people but nah I just take off and it's like I thought everyone gets caught who does that but yeah people get away a lot of cops want you to just get home safely I think in the end and sometimes they gauge on how to do it it's so funny just to be like fuck this I'm out of here you can be a better you in 2024 with Babbel, the science-backed language learning app that actually works. I've started using Babbel. I'm enjoying my time with it.

56:53I'm not fluent. I'm not even, I don't even think I could communicate if I got abducted or anything yet, but with my captors, but one day I'll be able to. Babbel's quick 10-minute lessons are handcrafted by over 200 language experts to help you start speaking a new language in as little as three weeks. Babbel is designed by real people for real conversations. Studies from Yale, Michigan, State University, and others continue to prove Babbel is better. One study found that using Babbel for 15 hours is equivalent to a full semester at college. I believe that. I went to college and I didn't learn.

57:34Babbel has over 60 million subscriptions sold. Here's a special deal for our listeners. Right now, get up to 60 % off your Babbel subscription, but only for our listeners at babbel.com slash Theo. That's right. Get up to 60 % off at babbel.com slash T-H-E-O. That's B-A-B-B-E-L dot com slash Theo. Rules and restrictions may apply. You know, we got sued by Clyde the hitchhiker. No, Kai the hitchhiker. He came at us with all he had. He sent us probably 11 letters in the mail and different types of charts, all type of things. And he kept suing us and we kept beating him. And we use Morgan and Morgan.

58:20That's who did it. Thank you guys at Morgan and Morgan. They are America's largest injury law firm. They have over 100 offices nationwide and more than 800 lawyers. With over$15 billion recovered for over 300 ,000 clients, Morgan & Morgan has a proven track record of fighting to get you full and fair compensation. That's right. Morgan & Morgan have been fighting for the people for over 35 years, and they fought for us. If you're ever injured, have an injury, you can check out Morgan & Morgan. Their fee is free unless they win. For more information, go to forthepeople.com slash this past weekend or dial pound law pound 529 from your cell phone.

59:11That's forthepeople.com slash this past weekend or dial pound law pound 529 from your cell. this is a paid advertisement so you um so you you and shane start the podcast you met in philly and shane you and shane start the podcast in philly or in philly yeah in philly and then he at one point he went to new york because i had i like got to the space where i was like i like podcasting better than stand-up because i was just frustrated we're the same city all the time i'm in philadelphia doing the same shows all the time and i i like either host or feature i I think back then I might have been featuring.

59:48I forget. But it was like the same thing. I'd meet a headliner. They'd be miserable. And I'm like, is this my fate? Like, it's just like you just, because a lot of the headliners I met hosting were for real miserable. Yeah. Like very sad, very disgruntled. And I'd be like, whatever. So I got disillusioned with stand-up. And I was like, I just want to do podcasting. And then at one point I was like, I want to pursue psychology. So when he went to New York, I went back and got my master's in social work. Because I did again. I was like, dude. You dropped back in and got it. Yeah. If I and it's this is the way my mind works.

1:00:17I was like I want to get back into psychology What's the easiest way to do it to do like talk therapy and I looked it up in social work If you get your master's and then work under somebody you can get licensed and open your own practice Wow So I went to school for social work while shane was kind of blowing up in new york and we're still doing the podcast I was still doing what by train or something every now and then he would come to philly back then Yeah, it was crazy. That's hard. It's insane because I and then eventually I started driving in new york But for a while he was coming to philly every week I was just kind of like, okay, cool.

1:00:43I didn't make that drive like that. So when I started driving to New York, I was like, dude, you were doing this for two years. This is insane. He did it for a long time? He did it for like a year or two. No way. Yeah, man. He's the man. That is a hard thing. People don't understand that type of a commute. That's an insane commute. I mean, how far is that commute? Two hours on a good day. And if it gets traffic, you're kind of like two hours, 33.

1:01:34Yeah it sucks And he calls you a f***. I have the audacity, dude. It's crazy. To call you a f***. It's unbelievable. He must have just laughed like, all right, man, whatever that guy's got going on. Well, everybody nowadays just calls everybody a f***. It's like, I feel like if you try to do CPR, somebody's dying, right? And they're like, f***. Get off me. They'd rather die. They'll use their last breath these days. Especially in New Jersey, dude. Somebody will use their last breath to call somebody a f***. Oh, yeah. It was, I mean, it was heavy, dude. F*** was polite back then. That was like the handkerchief around your neck being like, f***.

1:02:10That's like kind of. Look at this beautiful f***. But no, man, I went to school for social work. And then it was funny because I'm doing it. And I was, again, confronting the fact that I can't really be a normal, polite society. Because you drop into a regular job type place. And you feel like an alien. Especially the longer you do stand-up and other things. It's like you just feel out of place. So I did it. And I liked it. It was cool. It was a cool experience. but it was like very, uh, you know, like Jordan Peterson came out and it was like, the schools are out of control. They're losing her.

1:02:41Dude. I also would watch a lot of Jordan Peterson at the time. And I was like, I'm kind of curious to see if that's real. So I, and then when I went back to school, I was like, dude, he was totally right. It was insane. Just tell like, um, woke they gotten. Oh dude, it was great. Like you, you'd be in class and a lady for no reason would just be like, well, we'd be talking about like social issues. And she'd be like, I would never call the cops on a black guy ever. And I'm sitting there and I'm like, I couldn't help it. I'd be like, ever? What if he was beating up a woman? Like, why ever? It's crazy.

1:03:06So I would get in a lot of those kind of arguments in school. And then. And I'll even text the cops. I'm even meeting a black guy sometimes. The what? I'll text the cops. True. But, you know, just so you know. Yeah. FYI, meeting a couple of brothers. Yeah. Chill. I'll keep you updated. Dude, it was crazy. I went there and it was just, you know, it was that kind of stuff. And I'm like, all right, keep your head down and chill. But I couldn't help it. I kept, like, arguing with people in class. It was kind of fun, honestly. and then uh dude it's they're like 24 year olds being like this is what I think and you'd be like that's what you fucking and you could just smash them yeah that's what you fucking think I'm fucking you don't know shit yeah dude you don't know shit about the world you've ever fucking broken your heart in somebody else's but no then I did that and then Shane got the SNL thing right at the tail end of my schooling and were you bummed about that or excited I was pumped I've always been stoked like that but when he got when he got the SNL I was like, hell yeah.

1:04:01And he goes, buckle up. They're going through the podcast. And I was like, I didn't know what he was talking about. I'm like, yeah, whatever. It's not that bad. And then that whole thing blew up. So I was like in school, like, because I would get mentioned in bylines of like podcasts with and nobody put it together until very towards the very end. A girl in my class had read the article and was like, that's you. And they try to kick me out of school. That guy hates Chinese people or whatever. Yeah. And all the proof was, you know, I had been arguing against their, you know, in my idea, you know, it was kind of like unrealistic liberal values.

1:04:32So I'd been like, you guys don't know shit about anything. Fuck that. Fuck that. And I'd been arguing the flip side of their coin the entire time. So when they saw that, they're like, bingo. And they tried to kick me out. Smoking gun. Yeah, they got me. But it was like, and then I had to stay. It was honestly one of my favorite experiences ever. I had to go before the board of the school. And I got to do one of those like trial by. Oh, that's cool, man. Just other adults. I've been looking forward to that. You wore a suit? No. I just wore my regular clothes. But it's like that court fantasy where you get to represent yourself in court.

1:05:01Open your briefcase. Nothing in there. So I had to have that experience. Two waters in there. Two Fiji's. So I got to do that. And then it was just like I finished. COVID happened. So everything kind of just chilled. We finished the last month or so online anyway. So it was like. Yeah. That was cool. Did you believe in COVID or not at the time? No. I didn't do. My whole family didn't either. Like, my mom was like, like, let's hang outside that one time. And then after that, she was like, come inside. This is bold. None of my family got vaccinated. Like, none of my mom, my uncles, nobody got it.

1:05:33Except for, like, anyone who worked in the medical field. Dude, I had a buddy broke into a CVS and got, like, 30 inoculations. Dude, he was addicted to, um, inoculations or whatever, dude. This motherfucker hasn't had a sniffle in, like, six years, dude. He's good. He's set. Oh, this guy, yeah. I was just sketched out by the whole thing. I was like, dude, it's new. I'm like a hypochondriac as it is, and I'm way less scared of viruses than medical interventions. First, I didn't think it was real. Yeah. But then I'm like, oh, people are really dying, so there must be something real. But then also it seemed like they messed up and killed a lot of people with respirators that would not have died.

1:06:10Yeah, I remember hearing about that. Yeah, I got it. Did you get it? I don't know if I got it or not. I remember I couldn't smell for about 11 months. Really? But I don't know. Oh, yeah, and I had the antibodies. When I went to Rogan's One time I got tested I had the antibodies So I must have had it That's tight Yeah you probably got it At some point But yeah I got it I got rocked But it was only for like Two days It was a bad fever And then I coughed up Like weird liquids For like a month Then I was fine So My wife was pregnant At the time So I'm like Your wife was pregnant She was pregnant So then it was kind of A medical experiment Like should I get it And I'm like I don't know what this shit is So we were all just like Dude let's just chill Take a chill Let's get the fucking antibodies And just roll a doctor And you have I've met you You have a darker wife Yeah Pretty much Yeah Safe to say that Safe to say Yeah Beautiful lady Very charming Bridget Is that her name?

1:07:02Brittany Brittany Yeah Brittany Is that her name? Yeah

1:07:10Yeah Was that Did that And did Like just growing up In Philly Lead you to that You think? Dude I don't know Kind of a chocolatey bride Since I was a little kid, it's almost, there's, my only theory is, because in grade school, I like dated a Mexican lady. And I've dated everybody. I've dated, you know, like white ladies, everything. But that was definitely, you know, that was something I was drawn to were black women forever. But my only theory is my mom was like super Christian. She still is super Catholic. So she blocked like MTV, VH1, all the music channels. Except for BET because she didn't know it existed.

1:07:42So that was the only music channel I had growing up. So in my formative years, I just watched rap video after rap video, and I think it might have had some sort of effect. Yeah. So that's my only thing. Bitch better have my money. Yeah, wow, that's so interesting, dude. Yeah, dude, I remember I made love to a woman who was pretty much black. Right. And, yeah, it was definitely, there was like more in the muscle or something. I don't know. Yeah, you felt you were impressed by the experience. What do you say? Pretty much. She said she was black. I believed her. True. True. You know, I'm not fucking looking at paperwork or whatever.

1:08:25I'm not fucking proving. Yeah, no. My boot bracelet was like, black. You know? It pops up on there. Yeah, I just, you know what? For me, they definitely won out for me as well. They won my heart. Collectively, they won my heart. Really? Yeah. I just, I don't know what it was, man. It was just like, yeah, you like what you like, you know? Oh, yeah. I think I was afraid probably of black girls growing up. They had a lot of the black girls in our town and stuff would get knocked up by the black guys at a young age. Yeah. So all of our black girls disappeared at around 13 years old and got pregnant.

1:08:55Yeah. And then they come back and they're just different or they just like, yeah, they have a child now or they have like baby milk on their shoulder or whatever. and also I think they had to defend themselves against like a like black like dudes in their town or whatever that were like trying to you know get with them when they were young yeah so I think they were more into the whole like communicating with guys nature so I think like a lot of times they would um like they were just more advanced like the black kids in our school were more sexually advanced they just had sex earlier and stuff so I think that was intimidating the black girls were intimidating because they had more experience yeah it's funny sometimes you talk to a black guy he's like I got hit when I was 10 and you're like what like for real sorry dude sorry it's okay this place just went out of business we're good it's true you do hear that a lot you're not wrong it is crazy bro if somebody put my wiener okay that god made for me that I kept in my pants for him if somebody put that in their mouth when I was 10 years old dude oh my god I would have over oh I would have lit a fire in our yard and made smoke signals it's over for god to come help us it's over it's over it would I would I don't know how it's crazy I would have hit him with a wrench or something I just that would have scared me so much so that's what so but yeah so that was kind of crazy sorry I don't know if I spit on you or not but yeah that was good it anyway um yeah that yeah that that that kind of stuff's pretty crazy and then um i know i get the intimidation factor i do get but i i always uh whenever i have i like will see people and i always just assume i always see like softer sides of it's something i've had my whole life where i can see like kind of like i don't know i always can see people's softer nature because people present one way then you're like with them oh yeah like it's totally different thing oh i would marry a black lady i believe or semi-black or whatever for sure off black i mean there's so many i mean i've long been of the belief that um we're gonna it's it's a beige future right in four generations everybody's going to be beige yeah everybody that's still alive or whatever we're all going to be beige bitcoins um true you know that will have no sense of faith or hope anymore but that's where we'll be true um at least we'll be able to text each other online so i think i think we might be in for like a massive spiritual awakening though it's coming there's rumblings I can detect rumblings I like that attitude man there was one thing I was gonna say what were we just talking about being married having a black wife oh yeah I would date a black woman I would marry a black woman I would date a black woman I would probably maybe marry a black woman I think when I was a kid I thought that that wasn't a real possibility or anything That makes sense, yeah.

1:11:57But as an adult, I see that, oh, that's a possibility. Like, I think also just from where I was from, they didn't have, like, a lot of interracial dating at the time, you know? It was even, like, you know, I lived in, like, the Philadelphia suburbs. So it was, like, very, very, very white where I was growing up. But, like, even in college, some of my friends would come up to me and be like, that's crazy, dude. They, like, couldn't wrap their head around it. And it wasn't, like, a hateful thing. They're just, like, it was just a mind blower. They'd be like, bro, that's crazy. The funny thing to me, though, is black dudes are always like, hey, man, you scared to date a black chick?

1:12:28And I'm like, you aren't dating a black chick. Every fucking black dude isn't dating a black chick. But the first thing they say is, oh, you scared of some of that black chick? They get hyped on you. When they see you with a black chick, they'll get hyped. And then sometimes they'll be like, you're an easy target. I can kind of like, I'll fuck with you. Or they'll do like a hard check out on your baby. You have to just go nuts. You got to get white boy crazy. Yeah. So if they do like a damn, you have to be like, what's your fucking price? You have to spaz because you can't tolerate that. So I've gone white boy crazy a couple of times.

1:12:59Yeah, you're like, I'm over here doing your job, motherfucker. Well, dude, apparently black women and Asian men are the, like Asian women tend to date outside the race a lot. Black men date outside the race a lot. But black women and Asian men tend to not date outside the race a lot. So like the yin and yang twins or whatever? Like what are you saying? No, they're just. So black and Asian do not date. Well, black men will date outside the race where traditionally black women tend to not date outside the race. Oh, wow. So it's just that. And Asian women date white guys a lot, but a lot of Asian men don't date outside of the race.

1:13:29So it kind of like fucks you up in the dating pool. Yeah. So, but yeah, I think black women are coming around though. But yeah, they were, they were fiercely loyal. It's still, you get a little, people are, you know, it does. Some people don't like it, obviously. You know, you get people are like big into like black love where they're like, it's not the same. And I'm like, whatever, man, that's your thing. Yeah. it's not, yeah, but, yeah, it's not your fault. Exactly. I don't feel any kind of way about it, but it's just like, you know, celebrate that if you want, that's fine, you know, but it's like...

1:13:56Dude, I remember the first time I, like, even, like, I was working out with a buddy of mine, a black guy, right, and he, like, touched my hand, he was helping spot me or something, and I was like, damn, I never even touched a black dude's hand or nothing. They have beautiful nails, too. Dude, there's, like, a level of, like, black coolness where you grow one pinky nail long so you can crack a blunt with your long pinky nail. Oh, wow. Yeah, it was like a evolution of the coke now. But you can kind of just... Oh, that's cool. Yeah, you can just crack a blunt with a long pinky nail. Oh, being black, definitely, there's a lot of parts that seem super fun about it and then there's some parts and I'm kind of like, man, that part, that is not for me.

1:14:29I couldn't handle that. It's definitely, I think it's easier than a black dude dating a white chick. Because everyone's just kind of like, you know, people just, people just kind of like, wait first, when you first meet him, we'll like kind of giggle and be like, oh, you like black girl, you know, shit like that and like kind of dap you up and you're like, sweet. different now, but back in the day, being a black dude at a white family party, there was definitely some uncles hitting you with icicles in the eyes, just glaring at you. What you doing over there? My one friend was a black dude, and he was dating a white chick, and he said her brother would ask him weird shit, being like, what do you think?

1:15:03He would get drunk and be like, he was a wrestler, and he'd be like, let's wrestle right now. He'd be like, bro, chill, man. We don't have to do this. Yeah. Yeah, it was so... That dude's gay, probably, but... I think black dudes aren't threatened by white dudes as much as white dudes might be threatened by black guys. Well, yeah, because they don't have to be because they can always beat up white dudes. Yeah. Bigger dicks. Statistically, bigger dicks can beat you up. Some of that's a rumor, first of all, I've heard. But a lot of the ones on the internet, yes. They've done condom sizing studies.

1:15:32And it's not as much of a difference as you think, but there's a difference. Dude, the last thing I would want to have is some big old long dick bothering me all day, dude. I hear you on that. Yeah. I'm high and tight. I'm ready for acting. I'm ready for action at all times. I'm ready for action at all times. Oh, I'm fucking, I got that John Stockton on me, dude. I'll help you out, bro. I'll try to assist you in whatever you're headed. I'm here, dude. I'm ready to run. I'm in sport mode. What was I just going to ask about? Yeah, well, there's a lot. There's definitely some white comics married to black women.

1:16:05I think TJ Miller, I believe. Gary Owens. Gary Owens, yeah. Who else? You, Bill Burr Yeah, Bill Burr Bill Maher Bill Maher's ever married to a black lady? Oh, he loves Dating It's crazy He loves That was a head-to-head That was a black wife head-to-head Bill Maher and Bill Burr They were both dressed pretty good too They both were black wife affected And they got They argued over like Israel and Palestine Oh, they did? Yeah, there was like a fucking viral clip Really? Let's hear it They fucking It's kind of funny Let's hear it no burns ruthless what is black wife affected let me get that and then let's watch the clip just when you start dressing better cause your wife's black and they really don't tolerate like if you're not dressed well like they'll I fought a long I hold it down you know I still wear kind of like bummy stuff but they'll wear on you yeah black people like to look nice yeah it's important it's very important and like and at weddings it's the opposite like you have to dance if you don't dance at a wedding people are like what the fuck's your problem really white wedding you sit in a chair the whole time oh yeah it's a lot of pressure to dance yeah you can gamble on your phone even You can do whatever you want.

1:17:10Yeah, you're like, I object, you know? But you're just so gay, sister, whatever, you can't help but yell it. Look at these guys. Let's see what happens here. I mean, dude. Demonstrating for Hamas? They are in with the terrorists? They were for the Palestinians. Well, it's sort of the same cause. Why, are you? I'm on the side of the kids. Yeah, that's easy to say. You know, no one wants to see kids dead. This is a war. That was very brave of you to say that. This is a war. He sounds like he has no feelings. I'm the one who knows he's brave on this. No, pat yourself on the back. It's easy to say I'm for the kids.

1:17:51Who's not for the kids? It comes down to real hard-nosed decisions. Like a country. Stop talking like you're a general. A country got attacked. Israel got attacked. I'm not saying that they didn't have a right to go back. I'm just sitting there going like, how do I look at. We're the only country in the world that they get attacked. and then as soon as they counterattack, it's like, well, we got to stop this shit now. Don't attack them. There's a very simple solution to all this problem in the Middle East. Stop attacking Israel. Hey, you just solved it. Stop attacking Israel. You just solved it.

1:18:19I actually did. There you go. That's fantastic. Anyway. All right. We don't need to get on to that. Apparently, this was a whole episode of them fighting. Let's go to Russia and the Ukraine. How do you solve that one, Bill? Let me hear your hard-nosed decision. Well, I think some of that's bullshit because I think some of the people, they are, I don't know. it feels like they had to elect the Hamas because they don't have any other choice. Yeah, true. But I guess you always have a choice in who you elect. I don't think, also, I don't think you can go against, I don't think you can, can you vocally oppose Hamas in Palestine?

1:18:49That's a good question. It might be kind of risky. I don't know. That's the thing. The worst part is this will be on some historical record and we don't know how it'll play out. We could be like basically on either side promoting the Nazis. You know what I'm saying? Right. Yeah. You don't know the long play of it, you know. But to me, it's like if somebody says free a place, that's the place that needs to be free usually. Yeah, true. You know what I'm saying? You don't hear free Israel. I've said this before. You don't hear free Kentucky. You don't hear free America. You're starting – you're kind of hearing a little bit.

1:19:19You don't hear, you know. You hear free Cuba. You hear free Palestine. If that's the chant, it's like that's usually the place that needs to be free, right? Yeah, that's a fair point. That's a tough one to be like, well, hold on a second. What are they up to? Yeah, it feels bad. Right. You're like, well, what do they do? I don't know. My heart just tells me, and I don't know, my heart's, I'm re-hearted. But my heart just tells me that it's just unfair. That's what it feels like to me. But then I don't know a lot about it. I got to get some people on that no more. I mean, I think the war is totally unfair.

1:19:52They're getting, they're totally unmatched. I mean, dude, imagine if you're fighting somebody and then someone gave you$90 billion. You're going to crush them. So, yeah. Yeah, I don't know why we're funding that. I know. That's my one point of contention where it's like, but then they'll go, well, we need them there because they helped stabilize the region, blah, blah, blah. But it's like, dude, 90 bill. It's fucked up. They're fine. They're good. Yeah, they're set up. But again, it's like, yeah, I don't fucking know. But that's the one thing that disheartened me because they passed a new bill.

1:20:19It's like$90 billion to Ukraine. Well, they're using Biden as a fucking human merry-go-round or whatever. That dude's over there like, my son got murdered. My son was a four-star general at Arby's, you know? Yeah. My black guy at the swimming pool stabbed my son, you know? He's like, what the fuck is he even talking about, dude? He sounds like outtakes from a fucking Larry David episode. That's what he sounds like. Dude, we were talking about it yesterday on our podcast where he's, RFK Jr. was like, dude, I forget the time span, but if there's a nuclear threat in the middle of the night, They got to wake Joe Biden up and he's got like maybe 30 seconds to make a call.

1:21:02How fucked up is that? How terrifying is that? He's got to walk down a hallway and be like, what's going on from sleep? And be like, this is what we're doing. Oh my God. I hope that's not the case. There has to be people in the White House being like, bro, chill. We'll do it. Relax. There's no way that guy's making a decision. There's no way that guy is doing anything. Imagine him trying to eat. This is what I imagine a lot. Him trying to eat a piece of Kraft Singles cheese. There should be footage of that. Like, dude, prove it. Open one of those. Yeah, that's the litmus test. If you can't successfully open, eat, and swallow a Kraft Singles, then you're fucking out of here, my guy.

1:21:48Yeah, no nuclear codes at all. Yeah, you're out of here. And everybody's always like the nuclear codes. The nuclear codes are the algorithms of the internet. Those are the fucking nuclear codes that are killing our humanity and our being, it feels like. Yeah, it's pretty bad. Do you guys have children? Yeah, we have kids. Yeah, we have two little kids. So your father, is this— I thought I was getting lumped in with Biden. I was like, yeah, I think we both have kids. Yeah, no. No, yeah, I'm a father. I have two daughters, two little kids. One will be two in a couple weeks and a four-year-old. Wow.

1:22:18Yeah, it's the best. It is? Yeah, it's very, very taxing, but it really is the best. You hear a lot of guys when they have kids, they get all crazy. They're like, dude, if there was a button right now that I had to hit to kill myself or her, I'd fucking hit it and kill myself. It's like, you don't have to go that hard. Yeah, dude. That's chill out, dude. You're a manager, first of all, at a Jimmy John's. Yeah. Oh, that's your family right there. Yeah, that's my family. Oh, dang. Those girls are cute, huh? They're cuties, man. That's so cool. But yeah, so when you're a dad or you're a parent, I guess, in general, it's like you live your whole life for yourself before you have kids.

1:22:52You're just, you know, every single person is just narcissistically self-obsessed. It's just the way we are. Yeah, I am. Everybody. No, every single person is. And people are like, I'm not. It's like, yes, you are. Oh, so it's something you don't even realize until you have a child, you mean? Well, it's like, I think so. Hopefully you realize. If you don't realize it, that can be tough. But it's like, and it's not a put down or a slam. It's like as an organism, we have to be primarily obsessed with ourselves. Oh, it'd be really weird if I was taking care of some kids that weren't mine. That's what I'm saying.

1:23:18Like it just, just as a person, like if there's a dangerous situation, our bodies are designed to preserve ourselves and to advance our own interests. It's just, it's a law of nature. So then when you have a kid, you start that drive, it gets frustrated over and over and over on a daily basis. And you either like come to grips with that and like reorient yourself around stuff outside of yourself, or I think it just explodes your brain. You just completely fail. Yeah. It's pretty tough. It's a pretty tough job, but it's, it's the best dude. waking up every morning become every morning now is like it's the same thing over and over like the kids wake up you get them breakfast and it for me it put me on like a nice schedule because i was just kind of floating around so damn it's cool did you plan on um having a baby or was it a surprise yeah we were like both like fuck it let's have a kid it wasn't like super planned out but we were like we weren't trying not to and then she got pregnant i was like oh shit fuck and it's just like, ugh.

1:24:13And at the, um, do you, yeah, does it feel like you have mixed kids or does it feel like you just have children? It feels like you have kids. You don't really, we don't really like, because then when you have kids, you get kids books. So you get like different kids books. Now there's been a lot of like political and racial ideology that's been pumped into kids books. Not all of it's bad. Some of it's like, you know, love your hair or shit like that. Right. Then you get like some political stuff. So like I've been kind of like, I'll like screen out some of the books, if they're like too political, I'll just like show them pictures like oh look at this lady yeah like horton hears a harriet tubman or whatever and you're like yeah yeah this feels a little yeah it's like yeah anything that's like overtly super political i'm just like um you know i'm like i'm not i'll just like point to the pictures and make up a story and you know it's like say they're they're little kids you don't have to like yeah you just don't i don't like i'm not like against people knowing that stuff it's just like dude this kid's trying to figure out like squares and circles they don't need to like comprehend systemic inequalities yet.

1:25:08They can get that. That'll be later. It's anti-racist baby. That book is crazy. Feminist baby is crazy. Feminist baby is kind of crazy too. Feminist baby is pretty crazy. Oh yeah, it's feminist, dude. It's a baby, dude. We can't even make it. Yeah, babies are initially obsessed with the mother too. They have to be, bro. It's a survival. Yeah, it's a survival thing. If some gay baby came over trying to slurp on my chest, dude, I'd fucking put him to bed early. Yeah, it's true. I would put that fucking fat McNugget to bed early, dude. The crazy thing about being a baby is you can be as fat as you want and people fucking love you, dude.

1:25:45It's almost like the Yokozuna in Japan, you know? Yeah, true. That's actually, that's a fair point. Actually, people love fat babies, man. Babies, women squeeze their cheeks and they're like, well, you're so fat. Women are crazy, too, because when you have a kid, they like the smell of their baby poop. I've heard this from multiple women. Like, it smells like buttered popcorn. Dude, it's so gross. it's disgusting. But, no, having kids is cool, man. It's like, definitely for me at least, it kind of rocked me to the foundation on one level. But then you're still your normal self. But you're just hyper aware because like, I used to have an anger problem.

1:26:16Like I would fucking break glasses. Really? Oh, I was so bad. What do you think it was from? I have an anger problem. We have an anger guy coming on in a couple weeks. Do you really? Yeah. I don't, dude, I don't know. I mean, I can go into depth. I think I could venture a guess that was like, sometimes in households, there's like certain emotions aren't on display and anger can certainly become a primary emotion if you're like in a household where people aren't exactly talking and sharing feelings everything gets bottled up so then every feeling gets channeled into anger eventually so it just becomes like you just becomes natural to you just to fucking spaz so i was just a spaz i don't know i come from a long line of ir spazes so i would just like especially like you know in the early stages of our relationship you get into those like those arguments where you're just like i don't you get so disoriented because you're like I don't know if I'm right I don't know if I'm wrong and you just start to spaz and I would be doing the dishes and just be like like smash a glass but then like yeah once you have like that kind of shit has to stop once you have kids or you can just keep going and terrify them so you gotta like you know I'd have to like really I had to rein that in that would break their heart too dude it'd just be so scary dude it's so good as I can remember as a kid like seeing your parents yell was like fuck dude just was shitty my dad yeah was like he was so old he was probably when I finally could get a good look at him He was probably about 76.

1:27:30Damn. And he would drink sometimes, and he would park his car in the ditch outside of our house. Yeah. It's not a good look when you see that car in the ditch. You're like, fuck. We thought it was so funny, dude. And, dude, one time our aunt came to visit, and she was like 91 years old, dude. It was my dad's sister. We had never even seen anybody this fucking old. Really? She just rolled up? Yeah, she came to visit. And I think she was 90 or 91. And we were just like, what is going on? That's wild. She couldn't even talk to us. Damn. So how old was your dad when he had you? He was 70. He was an older guy.

1:28:09But it was just, it was so bizarre. She couldn't even talk to us. But she painted us some pictures, I remember. That's kind of cool. It was really nice of her. Damn. She painted like wildflowers from, I think, Mississippi or something. That's pretty, that's nice. Yeah. It was very sweet of her. But yeah, to answer your question, that was kind of it. Like you just, you get kind of like, you just, if you see spazzing, you're like, yeah, this is just how I handle stuff. And then you just start spazzing. And then like, you know, if you don't learn how to like logically process, whatever that surge of emotion is, it's just like, I'm going to fucking spaz.

1:28:37I still, I'm still guilty of it. Yeah. Like I'll like kick, if we have like a empty paper bag, I'll fucking, everyone leaves. I'll just fucking kick that bitch. Kick it as hard as I fucking get. I'll kick that motherfucker too. I also stopped talking. I was talking to my dogs real mean too. I would like, I'd walk my dogs and they yank my arm. I'd be like, you motherfucker, knock it off. And I had to like chill with that. I can't do that but yeah it was hazing huh well dude if you get your shoulder yanked it's like my dog's like 60 pounds yeah one of them yanks your shoulder and you're not expecting it it is the most infuriating thing but then if someone sees you doing that they're like this guy in my house you could hit dogs in my house it was like just that's where we were at oh yeah Philly kids got beat that's Michael Vick country yeah kids if you're bad you got hit if the dog was bad of course the dog got hit too so I like thought it was normal to hit dogs yeah I learned that it's not dude Dogs used to patrol our neighborhood, attack kids, attack people, male people, GAYs.

1:29:32Everybody, dude. They would bite everybody, dude. Let's watch the rest of that birthing. Did we watch his part? I want to see what he said back. Or just see what he said. I want to see what he said. The solution to all this problem in the Middle East, stop attacking Israel. Hey, you just solved it. Stop attacking Israel. You just solved it. I actually did. There you go. That's fantastic. Anyway. All right. We don't need to get on to that. Let's go to Russia and the Ukraine. How do you solve that one, Bill? Let me hear your hard-nosed decision about that. Well, let me ask you a question. How is war still legal?

1:30:02All this shit that's been canceled. Legal. Why is that still fucking legal? Great point. Would you like a real answer to that? So I stole the war's answer, by the way. For something to be illegal, you have to have the capacity to enforce it. And you can't enforce against war or else you have to go to war with the country that's going to war. and we don't want to go to war with Russia over Ukraine. What would be the sense of making it illegal? Oh, that's really going to stop Putin. No. To stop people from going to war, you have to also put boots... You just can't sit down and talk it out. Why can't Putin do a podcast with the head guy?

1:30:36Like, you just solved the Middle East on a podcast. Why can't they solve what they're doing on a podcast? This is why this is not your thing. This is my thing. It's not your thing. It's what you... It is my thing. It isn't your thing. This is not your thing. It isn't. that guy that has a fantasy football team and thinks he's a fucking gm that's exactly what it is like why am i fucking listening to you like you like you've done something that's hilarious yeah bill mara hasn't done shit dude well he was super woke and then he pandered when he realized his audience was leaving he definitely got more centrist you think that's what it was he flipped i certainly think that to him it was a financial thing yeah that he got way more centrist because i started seeing like he was like every all these idiots are wrong you're taking horse medicine or whatever.

1:31:20Yeah. And then you've certainly seen him come back over to the other side. He flipped big time. I mean, I was delighted to see him flip like that, but I get what you're saying. If you, if you start getting enough hate now, you can just like measure it in real time. You see it and you're like, Oh fuck these guys. Dude, if you go on YouTube, almost every comment is like, fuck this. Some gradient of like, you know, whether it's Trump or like almost 80 % of comments are like Trump rules. It's like mostly some reason, like conservative people commenting. I don't know if it's like bots or what. Yeah.

1:31:46It's like, if you were to watch that clip, actually, I think I did read that a lot of people were slamming Marr being like what a smug fucking blow yeah I just my mom never liked him and she never really said anything to me but I remember saying that my mom doesn't like Bill Marr at all I don't like Bill Marr he doesn't seem respectful to women that's what I remember she said to me that's fair I think that's fair for her to say especially back in the you know yeah I don't know I've never met him you know I just know no I haven't either I'm just joking but no I just know he did flip flop hard I remember just being I was delighted I was like yes it was funny Yeah, because you needed some host.

1:32:19Every host was all like really, it seemed like not. They just all had the same exact plan. It was like, remember when they played that video? Dude, that was crazy. Remember that video? All talking at once? Yeah. All talking about every channel, talking about the same thing. It was like, at a certain point, you can't think we all think we just live in some, like people are going to notice. Yeah. Right? And it almost seems like we're so dumb. We didn't notice. That was fucked up, man. That like, that bugged me out. And is this a real video? Yeah, that's a real thing. I think so. I mean, that'd be crazy to fake that.

1:32:51Fox San Antonio's Jessica Headley. And I'm Ryan Wolf. Our greatest responsibility is to serve our Treasure Valley communities. The El Paso, Las Cruces communities. Eastern Iowa communities. Mid-Michigan communities. We are extremely proud of the quality, balanced journalism that CBS4 News produces. But we are concerned about trouble and trying to be responsible. One-sided news stories plaguing our country. Plaguing our country. The sharing of biased and false news has become all too common on social media. More alarming, some media outlets publish these same fake stories without checking facts first.

1:33:26The sharing of biased and false news has become all too common on social media. I mean... They definitely have a script. People are writing scripts. Well, it's just that they're all owned by the same three or four companies now. It's like, it's like, it's the same reason why it's, everything's just kind of the same. It's like, it's all Panera bread. It's just the same seven companies own everything. Of course. So when people are finally like, you can't just expect that people don't have something inside of them that detects what, when something is inauthentic, I think. And that's the last piece of you probably to go.

1:34:04Is that part of you that? Yeah. Well, I think the, I think people underestimate the vast majority of people. And it's like a tough thing to think about. Just really don't think for themselves that much. Yeah. I think it's true. And then it's like, you know, you can really just kind of pump a message out. I agree. It'll land with a huge majority of people. I mean, they figured this out. I think it was Bernays. It was like Freud's nephew did that whole book propaganda. They like studied this. I'm like, dude, you can convince people of anything. Freud's nephew must have been balling too because. Yeah.

1:34:31Yeah. He's like my uncle's fucking Freud. He must have been smashing. Yeah, dude. Apparently he convinced women to smoke cigarettes. Women didn't smoke cigarettes until there was a company that was like, we got to drive up our sales. And he like, he's like, I got it. and he just had like a famous actress smoke a cigarette at a parade. Wow. And cigarette sales of women just fucking spiked. Crazy. That is crazy, dude. I wish I wouldn't smoke. Yeah, man, Armageddon, dude. Good for Burfer speaking up, though, at least. Burfer going after Bill Maher. Yeah, it was funny. He's very entertaining with all that stuff.

1:35:07Like, what are you, a fucking general? It's like, fuck, that's funny. Perfect line to a general. Yeah. But yeah, apparently he was like nasty though. He did it the whole time. Burr did? Yeah, apparently, yeah. They had like a super cut of just him just fucking leveling him the entire time. So that's tough. And you know, especially Bill Maher, like you were saying, he's, I don't think he's equipped for that kind of cut fight really. Because he's like going into like the issues that, you know, from his perspective, like let's talk about this from a macro perspective. And Burr's like, you're a fucking loser.

1:35:35And you're like, fuck, fuck, dude. God damn it, dude. God Burr is fucking incredible dude He's funny as fuck He's one of none dude That's how rare he is He's nasty as fuck but yeah he crushed him man He's a He's a big COVID guy too I noticed that he was like number one COVID guy Who's Omar? Bill Burr He was pro COVID? Yeah pro COVID pro mask pro vax Which is his prerogative whatever But at least he's his free thinker He's able to think for both sides of things It's not always just one side of things Oh, yeah, he does. He does a good job of that. His appearances on Conan are really funny. And COVID, like, I didn't know if it was real at first, but then when people are dying, I was like, oh, something's really going on here.

1:36:19And then people I started to know got sick. Because first it just came from the news. You were like, people are getting this thing. It was kind of invisible. You couldn't really see it. Yeah. You know. We had like a bola before that. We had a couple of little things, but they were like, this is it. But I remember just looking at the stats and being like, I don't think I have to worry about this. That was my only gripe about it. It's like, dude, you could have like preserved the elderly, let the obese chill. And anyone who was like younger and not like had emphysema should have been able to just do their thing the entire time.

1:36:48Yeah. They were like, hide your fat friends and everything. They were like making all these crazy rules. Dude, my friend would go and get his groceries delivered in his yard, have the guy set him out there. He would go out there with a fucking pressure washer and pressure wash his fucking groceries, dude. Yeah, that's crazy. In a hazmat suit. I'm like, dude, you are a pussy, dude. Yeah. I would rather die next to a couple things of Ritz crackers in front of my son than ever see him let me hazmat suit down. Dude. Some miracle whip and some fucking oatmeal squares. Dude, and that was a crazy thing because I had my first daughter right at the beginning of COVID.

1:37:33so we were in school and like the parents were trying to make the kids like dude fucking two year olds there's like a daycare like early childhood education trying to make them wear masks all day and it was like bro give it up they're not keeping these on all day and also for a two year old who's virtually at zero risk you're gonna tell them in their formative years like there's a giant virus and we're all dying like dude let them chill you can tell them like people are getting sick but like dude they were mask on all the times and where's the virus now dude that's a thing it's gone dude it's fucking gone bro exactly you don't hear about it the vax cards that shit didn't like what was that for now and now the people that have it they don't know if Mike gets sick and you know now I believe you can't trust I don't know I don't want to get down the road I just think people hear so much of it they're probably sick yeah I mean also it's a throwback now but yeah they were funny too because they were just a piece of paper yeah so you could just fake them like and there was no penalty if you faked one there was no criminal penalty I don't think yeah I had four fake ones dude yeah I got in a different country on fake ones.

1:38:34Because they would just look at it. I'd have a picture on my phone and be like, here it is. And they'd be like, cool, man. I'm like, this is fucking ridiculous. So dumb, man. What else happened in the news, guys? Let me see. Peru classified transgender, non-binary, and intersex people as mentally ill. Peru. Wow. What did they say why? That's a good question. I mean, Peru's a Christian nation. I do know that. but I'm not saying that justifies it. I'm just laying that groundwork. The controversial decision was made to ensure the country's public health services could guarantee full coverage of medical attention for mental health for the trans community, Peruvian health ministry explained.

1:39:15That makes sense. In order to bill insurance, it has to be some sort of mental disorder. Oh, so it's a helpful thing. They did kind of a nice thing. Being gay was a straight-up mental disorder in the 70s. It was listed in the book that was like that. There's a book that's called the DSM that has every mental disorder, and every year people have to argue like what's still won what isn't like how long you know blah blah but yeah being gay in like the 70s was like a metal it was like a clinical metal metal sort of well of course i mean it had to seem like it if you think about it imagine you're hanging out somewhere right yeah and you're just sitting there with your buddy or something you're watching like um the cubs or something watching andre dawson and your buddy keeps fucking putting his hand on your leg right true and you tell him like you know hey mark what's up your hand keeps moving over here is something wrong with your elbow is something wrong with your shoulder you have to call 9-1-1 is something wrong with your bicep and he's like no i'm fine and it keeps happening and then it starts rubbing on your chest or whatever you're like this dude doesn't understand that something's wrong with you're going to think then that he's mentally disabled true it's a fair point it's actually a fair point yeah even he would probably think in the beginning he'd be like some guys i'm sure were like the hell what is going on could you imagine oh god 50s being like I just want to suck my boss's dick so bad.

1:40:30Yeah. There's no one in the world you could turn to. And be like, look, man, I want to suck my boss's dick more than anything. Everybody's like, get the fuck out of here right now. People would beat your ass. Yeah, or people would just be like, dude, you're crazy. You would have to think you're crazy because if you didn't even know about being gay, imagine you never even heard about being gay. Yeah. You've just seen your parents, and suddenly you're being gay, right? Yeah, dude. Or you look at like your brother, your neighbor, your male neighbor. God damn. And you just like kind of start fucking feeling some type of way about them.

1:41:04Yeah, man. Light a candle for no reason. It must have been crazy. I've never envied that, man. They used to do lobotomies to un-gay people. They used to do. Really? Yeah. They would do lobotomies thinking that it could help them. Damn. Cut the gay part out. But so actually they did it all. It was a positive thing. That article made it sound like it was negative, huh? Yeah, see, I could be wrong, but that's what it sounded like in order for them to get help. Or, like, if they want to, it's something you can bill. Is that right, Nick? Are we in the right field here of it? Yeah, I think Matt's right.

1:41:35But I do think people are just running with the headline and being like, Peru's. Peru's fucked up, yeah. Yeah, and then, like, the conservative side's like, fuck yeah, Peru. Right, people will just read the headline. That'll be it. And the conservative's like, fuck yeah, Peru. Who was that speaker? They had a guy who was speaking yesterday. It was the kicker from Harrison Bucker. Yeah, you see this? This was going around. He was speaking at a Catholic school, Benedict College. Congratulations on an amazing accomplishment. You should be proud of all that you have achieved to this point in your young lives.

1:42:10I want to speak directly to you briefly because I think it is you, the women, who have had the most diabolical lies told to you. How many of you are sitting here now about to cross this stage and are thinking about all the promotions and titles you are going to get in your career? Some of you may go on to lead successful careers in the world, but I would venture to guess that the majority of you are most excited about your marriage and the children you will bring into this world. I can tell you that my beautiful wife, Isabel, would be the first to say that her life truly started when she began living her vocation as a wife and as a mother.

1:42:45I'm on this stage today and able to be the man I am because I have a wife who leans into her vocation. I'm beyond blessed with the many talents God has given me, but it cannot be overstated that all of my success is made possible. Because a girl I met in band class back in middle school would convert to the faith. You love middle school, huh? And embrace one of the most important titles of all. hole maker okay it's a kind of a sweet heartfelt thing it's just like he may have he shouldn't might have you know ran that by I think it's a nice sentiment that he's trying to go for but it's also like dude well he's yeah he's saying that well first of all I wonder if our school does it look at home making because we live a lot of people are divorced now people are raised with only one parent yeah you know my mother had to work all the time you know your dad so then your mom has to do both jobs or your dad has to do both jobs a lot of times if you're not able to see both parents um it's not a safe place for even an animal to be raised with a single parent yeah and we promote it it feels like a lot with our society dude it's impossible they used to do that social work school like there's no difference we'd have in a single parent and two it's like yeah what the fuck are you talking about so different gigantic difference it's dude it'd be impossible if i had to raise kids by myself, it's, it's real.

1:44:14It's, you can't, it's hard to do. I'm not gonna say you can't do it, but it's like, it is so fucking hard. It's crazy. So yeah, I don't think that this, I definitely understand where, this at a Christian college is Benedictine. It sounds like a Christian. Okay. So it's not that crazy. Right. My thing, it's, it's kind of like, I do feel like, you know, know people do hear hate hearing this but i there is some truth to that in terms of like i i do think it's uh i i just feel sad if a woman does like it's all like you know it has a jammed in her head that she has to like rise at a fortune 500 company and slowly is like damn i kind of wish i had like having kids is more meaningful than being like an insurance salesman you know like in terms of experience so yeah i feel like it's like it's a thing women have it's an insecurity that if they don't work, they're somehow have been brainwashed into like some old, like, you know, outdated value system that like they should fight against it.

1:45:09But, you know, in reality, I do think that a lot of women, you know, would probably like to not be at their job and like, you know, be at home doing stuff. It's a fucking, it is a job. It's a massive, insane undertaking. Well, it's a job that's being, that's not getting done right now. Yeah. It feels like in our country. Yeah. because it's almost like a, like, dude, women, like, they're allergic to, like, minivans. Like, if you show a woman a minivan, they'll spaz. Like, no, I'd never drive that. Then they'll drive, like, a crossover, which is just a fucking minivan in disguise. Yeah, you can't tell them it's a minivan now.

1:45:38You can't. They'll spaz. But there is something almost... Even at night, a crossover kind of, like, takes its fucking sides off and a minivan pops out as a cigarette. God. But, yeah, again, it's like... I'm in uniform all day. Yeah, I would never tell a woman, like, you can't work. No, you can do whatever you want. Of course. Of course. Well, I also think some of it isn't over. Like there was a time where women like were abused in the workplace. They were taken advantage of. They were used for sex to get promotions. They were promised promotions and not given them. They had no they would go to court, but the men in town had the power and they would influence the judges.

1:46:14There was no it's a fucking nightmare. It's been a nightmare for women to get the equality that they needed for sure. Also to just have money, really, which was the power. Yeah. Right. It's definitely been a hell of a journey. But, yeah, I wonder sometimes if the pendulum will swing back some and you will have more women that are just like, I want to be a homemaker and I want to be a good mom and create a good household. and a lot of the women in our society, I think they're a reflection of men. I think we don't realize that a lot of times. If your wife is happy, not all the time, but they're a reflection of men.

1:46:57Does that make any sense? It does. It makes total sense, man. If you love your wife and you lift her up, then she lives that way. yeah you know and if as a father you do that probably with your daughters they live that way yeah you know i always sometimes feel like they're they're they're a reflection of the men in their lives yeah it's true man it's hard too especially like you know with any job it's just hard to like remember like okay yeah because you get so wrapped up in your job you're like oh i have to like set up like a culture in this house and make sure everyone's okay and like do stuff because you get you get into a thing where you're just like, all right, I'm done my work.

1:47:36I'm going to go home. We're going to watch TV. We're going to chill. And I totally get that. But yeah, it's, it takes a lot of effort and no one's really incentivizing you toward that effort. Like with work, everyone's like, you know, they're dangling carrots over your face all, you know, all day long. But for having kids and like raising a family, it's totally up to you to be like, here's how we're going to do this. And it's difficult. But I do think women got sold an idea that like they have to be kick-ass businesswomen and like anything less than that is like a failure and like a disgrace for like the women's struggle.

1:48:03And it's like, well, I think that, I think the women's struggle helped and people finding out like, Oh yeah, people were pretty miserable to women for a long time. Now they just let them do whatever they, whatever they really want to do. Let them do. I get why people are mad at that, but I still am like, that's not a bad thing. And he's genuinely thinks he's trying to help people, man. He's not trying to make a dick like stay at home, bitch. Yeah. At one point, Buckner mentioned the word pride then clarified that he wasn't talking about the deadly sin sort of pride that has an entire month dedicated to it, about the true God-centered pride that is cooperating with the Holy Ghost to glorify him.

1:48:33Okay, so he really, so he's just a devout, he's a devout Christian or Catholic maybe. I mean, that's the, the thing is about some of this, it's like you can't go to a devout Catholic and expect non-devout Catholic shit, you know? That's what I love about like the way the media covers a lot of this stuff. It's like, yeah, most people might not agree with the guy or some people might not. Yeah. But you can't go to a chocolate shop and get pissed when somebody fucking gives you some chocolate. True. Yeah. That guy's a devout Catholic. Then that's what he believes. It's like. It was a safe space. He was in a safe space.

1:49:08And, you know, it's like if my dad sat in like a liberal safe space, he'd be incensed. He'd freak. Yeah. So it's like, yeah, he doesn't go there. So it's like, yeah, I get it. It's like, dude, I get if you're gay, that would piss you off. But if you're not gay, you're like, whatever. And if you're like super Christian, you're like, fuck yeah. It all depends on what you're up to. Right. Like there's people for everybody, you know, but we act like sometimes the media acts like there's not people for everybody in a way. They only want to create. But then that's their job. Yeah. Maybe I'm being a downer today.

1:49:35No, you're not being a downer. It is like, I mean, we're having like, dude, there's a guy, Ken Wilber, who writes, I think it's like the best take on this I've ever heard about how historically human beings have gone through just different levels of just consciousness, consciousness, where it's like, like originally the thing that like motivated humans, like the highest ideal is just being powerful and dominating others. Like if you're a Roman, if you're like, you know, like Alexander the Great, if you went and fucked up a whole bunch of people, you were the, like you would be like, God loves me.

1:50:06This is awesome. And then we kind of evolved into like Christianity and all that, you know, whatever that was kind of like, actually, you know, we should be nicer to each other. And then we came up like, we should be nice to other Christians and like kind of fuck everybody else. And we went from like, they call it like power gods to mythic membership. And then from mythic membership to the scientific worldview. And they're saying the last one, the newest worldview has been this kind of like woke kind of postmodern woke ideology. And now we have people at different levels of this and they're all just entrenched in their worldview and fighting each other.

1:50:35And he's like, it's just going to go on, you know, until people are just like, all right, fuck it. And they transcend all of them. Like, look, you do your thing. I get it. I don't agree. But like, I don't hate you because of it. Yeah, that's the part. Yeah, I think hating people because of it's bizarre to me. but I'm not shot like a Christian guy at a Christian college said some really Christian shit. He did. So it's like that to me, it's not even fucking news. You know, it's like, let him be who he wants to be. You know, he said, I love my wife and I'm not gay. It's like, yeah, that's for sure.

1:51:06Right. Yeah. I'm not, yeah. I'm not saying I agree with everything the guy says or anything, but let him speak. It's like, yeah, I think the guy should be able to speak. You said a little bit ago that you think there's like a faith wave that's starting up. I think so. Can I pee real quick? I'm about to I for real might pee my pants on camera. Go pee. And we're almost done anyway. That was like a 5 a.m. pee, dude. That was like five minutes long. Amen. Alright. Sorry about that. No worries. It was a good pee. Thank you. I saw you in there. You were peeing and I came in and then when I left, you were still peeing.

1:51:39I laughed. Yeah. It was crazy. I was embarrassed about how long I was peeing for. I was like, come on, dude. Hurry up. Yeah, there is that weird thing. It's like, it's so funny. You'll get embarrassed if you can't pee. Yeah. And then you'll get embarrassed if you're peeing too long because people, even if you're standing there facing the urinal with your wiener, people will be like, that dude's taking a shit. Yeah. True. Like, this fucking dude is taking a shit. Or you'll think the people outside think you're taking a shit. Like, at what point do people think you're taking a shit? Look that up.

1:52:09Shitting in a urinal is crazy, too. That's a wild move. Shitting in a urinal is insane, man. It should be treason. You should get hung. Yeah, I mean, look. You should be shot by a firing squad. It's like the highest offense. Well, no, it means you should be allowed to be a lifeguard, dude. Okay, obviously. According to Scientific American, mammals that weigh more than six and a half pounds, that's us, take about 21 seconds to urinate, plus or minus 13 seconds. Whoa, you see that last part? Oh, no, when you pass the stool, the relaxation of the stronger anal sphincter decreases tension and the weaker urinary sphincter.

1:52:45Allowing urine to pass at the same time. Okay. That's true. What does that fact mean, that you can pee while you poop? I don't think you can, huh? I don't think, I've never done it. I think it's saying that when you pee, you'll pee. If you pee while you poop, the fucking cops will show up. Who does that? Where in Philadelphia? That's crazy. I've never heard anyone successfully do it. That's crazy, dude. If I, I would never do that, dude. Yeah, I live by a church, dude. They would know immediately when I went in there. and like he up he did it um you were talking about faith man you think there's going to be like um people need something i i do think that not having faith is there's something that's not how people the rest of this seems fucking aimless life starts to seem kind of aimless and purposeless that's the thing yeah yeah i don't i honestly like you know it was like like bill maher was all about this way back in the day when he did religious where he went around and like debated like conservative baptist christians down south and was like you actually think a guy in the sky and it's like that whole argument's ridiculous but it was cool to be atheistic back when like there were still kind of like a stronghold of religion but now like we've lost it all and it's dude it's terrifying to be like we're just totally alone we're like a cosmic mistake that's just like here like a fucking amoeba just eating and shitting it's i think now that it's completely collapsed it'll get rebuilt in a i think a more thoughtful kind of way where it isn't like you know a literal interpretation if that's people's thing whatever but there's like there it's evolved a lot in terms of like the concept of god what it could possibly mean like the consciousness in the universe they're just and then like you take like the eastern stuff that's kind of blending in and then you add youtube which is like now people can learn about anything and kind of reconceptualize their own connection to god rather than just kind of like being in sunday school and you know and having someone just being like this is how this works because there's like with religion and again this is more just ken wilber stuff um he talks about there's like translative religions where it's like them he's a human being ken wilber yeah he's a human being for he's he's dude his stuff i think he's one of the smartest guys out there still alive yeah he's still alive he lives i think he lives in boulder he's he's uh 75 but yeah so he he talks about let's keep that in the list bro he would be a fantastic get um but he talks about this how a lot of the religion people grew up with here is like translative where just kind of like here's how the universe was built and here's what happened then and like it doesn't there's no process toward um like transforming yourself he's like there's translative and then there's transformative religion a lot of the eastern stuff is more about like transforming yourself but then that you know whatever so like i think within within here if people can like kind of start to learn about there are pathways to transform yourself over an entire lifetime to make you a more loving person and like you know you can tap it whatever i don't know i'm like out of my element.

1:55:38Yeah, you sound insane a little but I also think that you're a very smart guy and a super communicative guy, man. But I think, yeah, I think there is, it is getting, I was just joking. No, it's funny. And I do, I lose the thread hard on myself. Oh, I hate that, dude. Dude, it happens to me all the time. I swear, I'm like, I'm right there. It's the worst, bro. It's like when you tell people to come over, you're going to show them something and there's nothing there. But it's like 30 feet away. I can feel it. That's the problem. I can feel it. I just can't put it into work. Oh, yeah, dude. Imagine how Biden feels in this fucking nothing.

1:56:11I make fun of him all the time. I'm just as bad as him. I'm like, oh, and then, uh. But they're like, when you do learn about stuff like that. Dude, imagine when he closes his eyes, he just sees it. It's just like a pigeon eating a caramel or whatever. There's nothing in there. It's crazy. He's obviously just being used, obviously, by the new Jim Henson, whoever those people are. But no, there is something about religion. there is something about like, uh, yeah, having faith, having, believing in something that's greater than us. And yeah, I think maybe we get away from like the word it's like not as locked into the words of things, but more about, um, the feeling and what it means to be human.

1:56:49Um, and then also like, if you use certain religions, if, if, if Christianity or, um, Muhammadism or whatever is your pathway to believe in faith, then that's just your, that's your pathway. you know I think getting past the point of like thinking that no one else can have another pathway too like um that seems kind of outdated you know that's the Ken Wilber guy so that's that's an example of mythic membership where you're like my group has absolute direct access to reality everyone else is wrong and he says what we'll all get to eventually is called tier two thinking where you go like I can see where you're coming from this is kind of my thing I what you're doing sick we're all kind of doing you know the same thing in essence with like different you know we got like different clothes on in terms of our thoughts.

1:57:31We're all doing the same thing. But yeah, dude, it's like, there's like, dude, if without, I think if you're, if you're religious, like actually religious, like you'd have like a spirit, real spiritual connection. I think on average you live like eight years longer. Yeah. It's crazy. The study and the studies are just like irrefutable. Oh, well imagine just the only thing that you cared about. I mean, I even noticed as I get older, it's like, I don't have a family, right? I don't have a wife or children. Um, I'm at home sometimes and I'm like, what am I even doing? Yeah. Yeah. I've done that myself where you sit there and you're like, what am I going to do now?

1:58:01What is the purpose of any, or what is like, like there's purposeful stuff that happens in moments and things to think about and enjoy. And I'm not being like a downer about myself or about my life, but just like, well, yeah, what there isn't, there must be something greater than just this. And so, yeah, I think family helps you see that, um, believing in something, getting up every day and believing that the universe cares about you. I think having a society that reflects that we care about each other and that we care about the universe and that it cares about us too, you know? Yeah, it's not that crazy to be like, we somehow, consciousness emerged within our heads.

1:58:39Why would it not be something prevalent? Like, why would it not be in the universe itself? Like, the universe at whole isn't conscious, but somehow out of unconsciousness, we have consciousness. Yeah. It gets real crazy. It is. It's total cap. But it's like a cap as fuck, dude. It's not like a universe that can't think made something that could think I'm saying and designed itself perfectly. It's unbelievable that So yeah, that's for me the older I've gotten. I've been like You know, and that's why they call it faith It's like I can't prove it but it's like I will definitely hedge my bets on like dude the universe It's it's on.

1:59:13It's also like it's like a like an ant trying to explain Florida to like they can't and they can't comprehend Florida. But like, for some reason, humans have this inkling that there is something beyond themselves. And it's totally universal too. That's a good point, dude. Totally universal in human beings throughout pretty much all of time. Yeah, you'd have to, how could you trick? You could never, and it's not even like, I don't even know a ton about religion, but if I look up at the fucking sky at night, I feel like there's something happening here. Exactly. What it is ain't exactly here. Exactly.

1:59:47You go, I am that sky. There's a man with a gun over there. And now we're back in Philadelphia. Guys, Matt McCusker. Thank you so much, Congratulations. Everybody loves you so much. I'm so grateful that you and Shane have each other and have been on this journey together. And yeah, just thanks for coming and spending time with us today. Thanks for having me, man. Awesome. Thank you. Now I'm just floating on the breeze and I feel I'm falling like these leaves I must be cornerstone oh but when I reach that ground I'll share this peace of mind I found I can feel it in my bones but it's gonna tell you Yeah, but don't get that too much too bad for me・