E519 Pauly Shore

24:45Blues Brothers. That makes sense, right? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's cool. Okay, so go on back into the laugh. There's the Blues Brothers. But there's something about laughter, man. And like, it was just, it was like magic. It was like, how do I do magic from over here? Like make you feel a certain way, but I don't need to go over. I just, it's like, what do you do? And laughter was that if you could get somebody, you'd say something. And they went from whatever their state was and they laughed. I was like, oh, that's real. That's authentic. It's authentic. I can rely. That is, they couldn't have faked that.

25:17You can tell if they do. Yes, exactly. So you're from the bayou though, right? So it was something like that. So you're from the bio. Oh, this is good, dude. This is like a theme thing. What? Oh, wow. Oh, wow. So you don't have shades on there? Yeah, the shades, we can edit them in. They're clear. Oh, you edit them in? Oh, that's sick. So this is... Jackie Onassis. Take your old records off the shelves. Okay, so... All right. So that was something that was fascinating to me. Dude, I want to know this. Who came by this store, right? who came by the store, Paulie, over the years? Like, I mean, what about when Jim Carrey came?

25:56Were you guys just like, what? Like, who came and it was just something so novel? Did you ever see a popcorn machine put popcorn out? You know, where pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop. That was like the store back in the, you know, in the 70s, 80s, and 90s. Yeah. It felt like that. You know, my mom was the center. She was the center colonel. You know what I mean? So, yeah. So, boom. You got Jim Carrey, boom. You got Dice, boom. You got fucking Arsenio, boom. You got Roseanne, boom. You got Eddie Murphy, boom. You got Richard, boom. You got Robin, boom. It was just like boom, boom. But everyone was doing drugs and everyone was drinking.

26:37And it was just like normal. And Sam Kennison was the man. It was part of society. It was very common. That's why when Tommy Lee was here, he was here, I guess, earlier or whatever. he was part of that whole thing because him and Sam Kennison were very close. They were? Yeah, very close. Fuck, wish I'd have done it. And then also Vince Neil who I talked to about a month ago he lives in Nashville. Yeah. Do you know that? Yeah. Because you live in Nashville. I see him sometimes. Yeah, and he says he's got a huge he's the only one that's still not sober. Everyone else is sober. Yeah. And Vince is like, no, fuck that.

27:10I'm like, cool, I'm hanging out with you. Yeah, dude. Vince is fucking wild, bro. Yeah, there you go. Oh, that's so cool. What about the story with Kenison and Lebov? Did you know about all that? Oh, very much so. Yeah, that's a wild story. Take me through some of that story. Okay, so basically there was a comedian for you young TikTokers out there that are obsessed with my friend Theo Vaughn. Just so you know, Vaughn is a French articulation that comes from the south of France in an island called Brindisi. So just look that up. That's where his last name is, Theo Vaughn. Vaughn. Yeah, and my family originally is from Mogadishu, actually.

27:51Yes, Mogadishu, which is in the Swiss Alps. Yep. Swiss Alps. High as you can go up there. Yeah, so it's just up, up, up, up, up. That's where his mom popped you out. Come on up. That's what mom would say. Yep, come on up. It'd take a month. Yep. So just to do the quick version, there's a comedian named Sam Kennison. He was on fire. His best friend name was named Carl Lebeau. Think about Amir K., you know? and you guys are doing drugs and getting fucked up and blah, blah, blah. And Amir K is married and Amir K has a wife and you fuck his wife and then you get her pregnant and then you die. And then Amir K has your baby and then Amir K winds up having to pay for your baby.

28:43And he thinks it's his baby his whole life. No, because it looks like fucking you. But they never got a blood test, I don't think, until later, right? Until kind of later, yeah. So for 16 years, I think. 18 years. Carl was paying for the baby. Carl was supporting the child and thinking it was his daughter. Yeah. But it was fucked up. And I still haven't met the kid. Wow. And I really want to meet the kid. That'd be pretty fascinating. We should get her on this fucking show. I wish we could zoom right now with her. How sick would that be? Sam Kennison's, she's like, what? Oh, you know, being an adult has its high points.

29:25I'll say that. You can eat ice cream for dinner. You can sit in your car and have your dang waffle in there if you want. Eat it with your hands. God, that's nice. But it's not all fun. You also have to do your taxes and figure out what's for dinner. and you have to make doctor's appointments. But for that, there's ZocDoc, the healthcare app that makes adulting that much easier. That's right. ZocDoc is a free app and website where you can search and compare high-quality in-network doctors, choose the right one for your needs, and click to instantly book an appointment. Finally, there's a way to do that easily.

30:08We're talking about in-network appointments with more than 100 ,000 healthcare providers across every specialty, from mental health to dental health, eye care to skin care, and much more. Plus, ZocDoc appointments happen fast, typically within just 24 to 72 hours of booking. You can even score same-day appointments. You know, I hate looking for doctors the old way. It's confusing. and you got three windows open on your computer and ZocDoc, that's the way I'm doing it. So stop putting off those doctor's appointments and go to ZocDoc.com slash Theo to find and instantly book a top rated doctor today.

30:48That's Z-O-C-D-O-C.com slash T-H-E-O. ZocDoc.com slash Is pornography causing a problem in your life? That's a good question. It's a real question. It has in mind. It has at certain periods in my life, watching porno and everything and watching porno was making me, it was ruining my life. It was ruining my life, man. Made me feel just so much shame. That's what it did. Well, watching pornography has become commonplace today. and oftentimes men will use porno to numb the pain of loneliness, boredom, anxiety, and depression. That's why I want to introduce you to my friend, Stephen Walt. Steve is the founder of Valor Recovery.

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32:26And again, there's no commitment when you reach out to them. But I promise you, only something positive will come from you reaching out and figuring out what type of help, if any, could benefit you. Thank you. But, yeah, so. That was wild. And Carl got a fucking, Carl got the, he had a tough one. He had a tough run. I got to put my glasses back on. Thanks. Yeah, but Carl had a tough run, and he was genius. He was a great... Carl was great. I would see him down in Texas, down at Randy Butler's clubs down there, and I would see him perform down there sometimes and cross paths. Nice guy. Yeah. People loved him.

33:10Yeah, he was special. There was another guy named Mitchell Walters who also died. You know Carl died, right? Yeah. Yeah, and Mitchell Walters died too. He was fucking hilarious. He had the fucking funniest 12 minutes of material. Really? bring him up this guy was fucking hilarious wow we did shows in Vegas this was in the late 80s and and we were at the Dunes Hotel and it was the Sam Kennison and the Outlaws of Comedy Mitchell what was his name Mitchell Walters yeah this guy oh wow beautiful huh he was fucking hilarious trans or no no he wasn't trans Indian huh no I don't know what he was but he was fucking hilarious oh see there's a picture with him and Sam and Billy Idol on the left up there.

33:55Yeah, there you go. So before one of the shows at the Dunes, this was the late 80s. This is when Sam Kennison was getting sued by United Artists for not showing up on his movie set, Atuk. So Mitchell Walters comes up to me before the show and I said, Mitchell, we're going to hang out after the show, right? And he goes, yeah, absolutely. Me and you We're going to party, package, package, party. And then when the show started and then the show finished and I went to go hang out with him and I'm like, yo, let's fucking hang out. He's like, get the fuck away from me, golden boy. Go hang out with your fucking mother.

34:30I don't have time for this shit. Because in between the show, he went out and did coke and he fucking gambled and he lost everything. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Damn. Yeah. That one show lost it all. Yeah, he lost a lot. And how did he pass away? I think he had some type of internal, like, you know, I don't want to say it was cancer or something like that, but he wasn't too healthy. Damn, bro. Yeah. But he was a really funny cat as well, though. It's kind of a dangerous, it's a dice roll doing comedy because you're really, you're at a, because comedy club is just a bar attached to a stage. That's all it is.

35:07It's a bar, so it's like. You have access to everything. Yeah, and you have access to everything, and you perform at night, so you're at work at night. People have just gotten out of a crowd. They're on a high. You're on a high. It's like, yeah, it's like you're just, there's so much temptation that's right there. So much possibility for, um, to get in trouble. So how, so how's it going for you now? How are you feeling these days? Um, I feel okay. I think I feel like a lot of responsibility sometimes, you know, so that's, it's not as much fun sometimes, I guess, cause you have a little, you feel like you have more responsibility, but, um, but then sometimes I got to remember, Hey man, just take it easy.

35:40just do your best be yourself try your best uh and just try to be honest about you know whenever you can about what's going on you know um so some of that's been pretty interesting i think just that the boom we're having in comedy has been really that's been a real blessing because i think the news kind of shot itself in the dick over the past five years or something kind of like nobody knows what's news or what's real anymore so everything's such a joke anyway that I think people are like, well, at least I know these are jokes. Yeah. And then what do you think about like doing something on stage or doing something or this or whatever, and then people comment on this as opposed to the old days where you just do a TV show and no one would comment.

36:24Right. Except for they would just come up to you at like a diner and say, oh, I saw you on Married with Children or some shit. Yeah. But like this is instant. Do you read the comments? Sometimes I'll look at some of them. Sometimes the producers will send me some to watch. you know it's good luck it's like do you want to open a box that's that's something can hurt your feelings i don't know you know yeah i think that's kind of some of the dangerous part now if it's something super funny a lot of times they'll make sure that i see it you know yeah sometimes if somebody makes funny really good what do you think about what happened to jack black and his partner recently he's not his partner you know well no because he said he's homosexual the what he's homosexual no i don't know no no what happened was i think they said something about Donald Trump.

37:04Oh, I didn't even see that. Oh, with Tristan D or whatever the guy's name is? Snake D or whatever? No, his partner said something. Oh, yeah, he said I wish I wouldn't have missed him. Yeah, I think that's fucking kind of classless, I think. I wouldn't say that about a president. No, no. Did you But isn't it wild that like you can ad-lib something like that and then it's a wrap for a while? It's crazy, right? And yes, it was terrible, you know, that he said that and that you don't say that and you don't even joke about that. But I mean, but also it's like, that's how he feels. I just think it's a kind of a, and it had just had like, yeah, it's just kind of, people don't want that.

37:45People are confused. So what do you think about Kamala these days? This is pretty, it's going to be, no, but the whole thing is going to be like a great, it's going to be political theater. I think, oh, it is. It's going to be like, it's all it is now. Yes. I think politics is just... Political theater. It's a shell company for the big business. It's a fucking... It's like a puppets. It's a puppet theater, it seems like to me. Well, I think... I don't know if Kamala doesn't have it to win. I don't think that. I don't think anyone is going to beat Trump, to be honest. I think Bobby Kennedy, I feel like, has a lot of great points to talk about and stuff.

38:26I think he's very fascinating. I think he, you know, you believe that he wants to get in there and do something different. Why is it so many people don't want to run for president? Like The Rock, for instance. People have talked about The Rock. Like he's gorgeous. He's big. He's handsome. He's a huge, huge star. Like, you know, like I think Trump fans and then also the liberal audience would fucking go, oh, my God, that's fucking The Rock. That's our guy. Yeah. Because obviously, like, would you ever run for anything like that? like think about it for a second like not right now yeah but I'm like you know you're 44 you said I'm 44 44 so look about when you're 54 yeah you know what I mean after you kind of like wanted to chill like would you ever get into politics maybe I would run for a VP or something if they let you so you'd be a vice president be cool because vice president you just get to stand in the back and be like this right that'd be cool vice president you just get to fucking chill bro have you ever been to the White House sure they wanna thug you just get to fucking and they're like, what does the vice president say?

39:28He just gets to say some crazy shit, bro. And you know what I'm saying? He gets to say, hey, China, we bout this shit, bro. And then it just goes viral, and then you're fucking having a blast, dude. And you can party with chicks or whatever. Your wife can be fucking cool. Your kids can be on the front lawn fucking juggling or fucking smoking behind the statues or whatever. I think that part would be pretty fun. And there's no pressure. Everybody knows the vice president's a food gives a fuck anyway. They didn't let anybody be the vice president. Yeah. But now she's, because Joe Biden timbered.

40:02Yeah. Timbered, you know what I mean? And that pissed me off. Joe should have fucking hung in there. Yeah, until he fell really hard. You know what they should have done? Here's what they should have done with him. Because he didn't want to bail. You know what I mean? He didn't want to bail. No, they told him so long he was the president. He finally, when they said, no, no, you're not the president, he's like, I am the president. He believed it. No, what they should have done is they should have told him that, Mr. President, there's mold in the White House. We need to move you to a hotel. Move him to a hotel for three or four days.

40:31Then take all his pictures and all the different things that are in the White House and put him in another White House. And then move him back into that and say, this is your place. He won't know that it's not his place. And then just say, you're the president. But he just like plug in other TVs and shit. He's like, don't I have anything to do today? Like, no, you're good. Yeah. They're like, no, your dog just bit somebody. Now eat some ice cream. But I felt bad because he was, you know. He was being puppeted, it felt like. Yeah, but he was also, I've been around, like, my mom, for instance. My mom wasn't well, you know, towards, you know, the last good 10 years.

41:03She was, you know. Have some dementia. Yes, she had that whole thing. So I was, that was affecting me watching Joe reminding me of my mom. And your grandparents or people's watching grandparents. It's not fucking funny. Oh, if you did that to her. Yeah, I mean, my father was 70 when I was born, so he was an old man. Oh, shit. So I can totally relate to the sense of like, it felt like somebody was being taken advantage of a little bit. And that really, I don't care what side of things you're on, but that to me just felt, it must look cringe to people in the world if that's how we're willing to do with our senior citizens.

41:35And then also like every time he walked off a plane, wasn't cool. Like it felt like he was going to fall. Yeah. And it wasn't cool. And it's like, you know, I didn't want to see that. Right. You know what I mean? I'm glad that nothing bad happened. That's a good point, huh? All those little stages they put them on. The scariest thing for a senior citizen next to more than one Ottoman in a room is a little stage, dude, because there's nowhere really to go except for down. Yeah, just stairs. Yeah, one stair, two stairs. Yeah, so that shit was bunk, dude. What do you think? And it looks like almost they tried to kill Trump.

42:11Someone did. It didn't work. And so then Biden, they're like, well, if that doesn't work, then Biden has to step down because he has to put somebody that can try to win. I don't know if that's true, but it looks a little bit like that. What do you think happened? What do you think? I think he's a sicko, that little kid. Oh, you think it was just the kid acting alone? Yeah, it was a sicko, yeah. I think so. I think it was just a sicko. You know, it's like a lot of these school shooters are, you know what I mean? They're not all up there. I mean, who's going to take a gun and go shoot up a school?

42:42it's just disgusting so it's like for someone to do that it's just repulsive and I don't know I mean no comment it's just sad the kids are fucked up oh it's heartbreaking and then the kid is dead now and you wonder did somebody get to this kid and inspire him to do that the thing about having another shooter because some people think there's another shooter but you would have had to have had then somebody had to have hired the kid They have to know the kid's going to do it. Yeah, and I don't think that happened. I think he's just a wacko that knew Trump was, you know what I mean? Going to be speaking.

43:20But then it's unbelievable that the Secret Service wasn't able to, like, if people— Because they were checking their Instagram. Yeah, probably. Absolutely. You know, they're just self-involved with their own bullshit, and they weren't focused on the whole thing. Either way, you know, I like—you know, at night, you know, I was fucking with you the other night when we were texting each other. I said I gotta go I'm going to sleep I'm watching Fox News you know what I mean I just you know I started watching Fox News with my mom she loved it really yeah she loved it she would just watch Bill O 'Reilly and then she'd see the Fox News anchors which the fuck is her horse teeth she's got fucking horse teeth Pauly you know with all the Fox News anchor girls she'd always get angry what the fuck is she looking at you know what I mean she's got She looks like a horse face.

44:09She would say that. It was fucking hilarious. So I would watch, I would always watch, you know, the news with her. We'd watch CNN. We'd watch Fox. Any other shows y 'all would watch together? Game shows or anything? Tommy would bring over comedians sometimes. Tommy, the old talent guy. Yeah, he'd bring over comedians. What do you think of him? You know, shit like that. I miss Tommy kind of. Yeah. What do you mean kind of? I miss him. Yeah. He was fun. He was a great guy. He was there when I got there. He was such a character, you know, how he kind of like, you know. Well, he was funny because he said he stayed.

44:43You're doing it, man. You're doing it. Yeah, him and his girl Steph, they stayed at the Hyatt. And he says, well, it seems like the comedy store is calling me. It's right down there. They want me. They want me to run the comedy store. Don't you understand? Well, that's how it is. That's how your mother wanted it, Pauly. Listen to your mother. she's the queen you know what I mean pretty cool what do you think of his relationship with your mom what do you think it was like it was good it was good I mean he used to do shit with my mom that you're not supposed to do for someone that you're working used to carry her up the stairs I mean she would literally call him up help me up I can't get up you know and it was you know she would be working the cover booth and then Steve Renazzisi would have to come in and that's when he stole the money but that was another conversation that was supposed to be funny anyways alright no I think yeah it's like Like, yeah, because I never knew exactly what happened.

45:37I just knew that. So what happened was is my mom didn't trust a lot of people. Right. You know, and my mom loved Tommy, you know, because, you know, she just, you know, she took to certain people. You know, my mom took to certain people and she really liked him and she trusted him. So when she couldn't get up the stairs, you know, because she would try to get up the stairs, you know, she would call the store and she'd say, can you help me up the stairs? And then he'd be like, Mitzi, I can't. You know what I mean? I'm here in the cover booth. There's people. I need help up the fucking stairs. Let's go.

46:12And then that's when Tommy would get Renazizi or someone or someone to sit in Benji or whoever. And they'd sit in and she would go and I would be there and I would like, you know, help bring her up the stairs. And then he would sit with her for a long time and watch the TV and sometimes not even go back to work. So he did stuff that you weren't supposed to do as an employee. but that's what my mom was. That's what the store was. The store was always about, you know, helping people. And if you stole, you stole, that's on you, you know? Yeah. You know, so. And was that ever proven that he did it?

46:46I don't, I don't know. I wasn't involved. Yeah. I wasn't. Yeah. I just heard things and you're like, well, what even happened? You know, and you never got to really hear his side of it, I feel like either, you know, but, but, um, yeah. So, but yeah, you know, um, you had, so recently Richard Simmons passed away. Yes. Were you guys ever, and I know you were trying to do, you did a great video kind of auditioning to play him. Yes. And did you guys ever come to a real conclusion? Did you ever get to actually talk with him about it? I never, I reached out to him. I've known him since I was little.

47:26I sent him flowers on Valentine's Day. This is a short film. Oh, this short film is called Court Jester. And I love him and I love his story. And I want to do his biopic. So we did this short film and it did really well for me. We were at Park City with it and people just loved it. Play something right there. Oh, by halfway into this, I believe that it's him. Yeah.

48:15it really seems like him Paul that's great yeah so um and he was from Louisiana actually yes he was Him and his brother Lenny, yeah. And so now since he's passed, is there a – would you still try to do it? Like I don't know if that's against the grain or whatever or is that just – can his estate hire you to do it? Well, here's the deal in reality. First of all, I'm just an actor. Okay, I'm not a lawyer. you know, but from what I've learned from being in this process that if you're a public figure, it's called an unauthorized biopic. So for instance, they happen every day. So I mean, the Pam and Tommy Hulu special or Hulu series was unauthorized.

49:06Oh, wow. So people can just make it. They do stuff all the time that way. So as long as you don't do something mean, you know, as long as I do it nice, like this piece is nice. Right, you're not defaming him. Yeah, you're not defaming him, then I'll be fine. So I'm in bed with a producer named Mark Walper, W-O-L-P-E-R, not Wahlberg. And he's been in the game for about 50 years, him and his family. They have a deal at Warner Brothers and I have a great writer named Jordan Allen Dutton who's writing the script. So I'm moving forward with it. And then, but my instinct is like, your instinct is get his estate to kind of be involved, you know, give them some money, but we'll see.

49:47I'm kind of at the place where I just want to make the movie and I just want to kind of do good by him and not defame him. And that's kind of my come from from the beginning. And it was never about making fun of anything else. Richard saved lives. He saved lives and he helped people, and that's kind of where my come from is. And at the end of the day, yeah, I'm a comic, but I'm a fucking actor. You know what I mean? I've started in a lot of movies, and that's my main thing. And that's why I still sell tickets. I don't sell tickets because of my Netflix special or, you know, I'm selling tickets because of this, because I've touched people with my films.

50:26And so this is, is, is lines up. It's kind of like God gave me a softball. I mean, this is like a really great opportunity for me and I'm going to do it and it's going to happen. And we're getting the financing together right now. That's kind of where we are in the process. but I got a great producer that I've been in bed with on this for about six months and we've got a great writer we've got a great story we've got a great pitch and he's writing the script right now wow so yeah so it's happening yeah and I think you know you say if you had passed away and you knew before you passed away you were like I don't know if I want this guy to make this thing about me or to be in it and who knows if maybe also Richard Simmons was feeling embarrassed about himself he you know sometimes it's like I just want to go away if he knew he was sick there's just so many little, but then if you did pass away and then somebody made something, it was really honoring you and you got to see it.

51:13I wonder how you would feel. I feel like I would probably feel like, man, that's pretty cool. Yeah. Well, that's how I feel. Yeah. You know, I feel that he would see it just like he probably saw this and like, he touched people's lives. Yeah, absolutely. And at the end of the day, you know, publicly he came out and he says, I don't yeah what did he say bring it up he says I don't approve of Pauly Shore playing me in a biopic and then he says he says I want Tom Cruz to play me so obviously so I mean you know that's a funny joke by the way you know what I mean that's actually you know what I mean but here's another thing Theo like how do we know this was even him writing this shit oh how do we even know he was writing this shit this could be some twink that he met at the airport or one of his handlers You don't fucking know.

52:01It was probably a twink that he met at the airport. Let's be realistic. It's LA. What does it say? I just read that a man that I don't know is writing a script about bio. I do not approve of this movie. I'm in talks with the major studio to create my own biopic. Meanwhile, you know, he passes. Right. So obviously he did. You got to read your own room of your life. Like if you're passing away. You're not writing that type of stuff. No. You're fucking worried about trying to live. Yeah, dude. You're fucking counting T-cells, homie. you're not over here fucking milling around your typewriter. So that's another thing I want to get to the bottom.

52:33I want to get to the bottom line because, you know, I love Richard and I know Richard loves me and I know Richard loves my mom. And I know that I don't have a fucking bad bone in my body. Yeah. And my come from is all about love and, and, and, you know, and putting it out in a positive, positive way. And I don't know, and I don't believe that he's the one that wrote all this stuff that, that, you know, and if anything, I got him out. meaning like I got him to just speak because he'd been so recluse for so long yeah people hadn't heard from him in a long time bring up some of the videos where he helped women lose some weight I mean he was the first kind of influencer he was like a professional wrestler that never wrestled but danced the fat off of the midwest and other parts of America and he made it fun yes the Ellen stuff is great yeah yeah there he is look at the party off the pounds right there i remember my grandmother had party off the pounds dude and i would sit and watch her move to this hilarious before she hated me but still look at him Everybody.

53:40High. Hey, come dance with me. Come dance with me. Come on. Can you come dance too? Exhale. That's it. And again, five, six, it's like Teletubbies. Cause he was, he was chubby too. Yeah. And you know what would happen is he would, he would get involved with a relationship with like a, an, an oversized woman. And then after the woman lost all the weight, then Richard would just like give them the Irish goodbye. and just like spatch and just like peace out. Like he only wanted them for their weight? Yeah, just kind of wanted them while they were chubby. And you're not talking about a sexual relationship?

54:20No, no, no, no, not at all. Just like helping someone. You know, it's kind of like if you were chubby and I helped you and Pauly Shore helped you and then all of a sudden I got you skinny and you're calling me and I'm like, you know, I'm done with you. Like onto the next, like Superman. Onto the next. I needed somewhere else. Yeah, exactly. Exactly, and he did do an Irish goodbye. Now, he loved men, though. I don't know if he did. That's a good point. Was he ever married? Let's look that up. No, he never really was either or. That's a great question. And maybe he was just like a piece of moon rock or something.

54:58Where he, born Milton Teagle Simmons down there in New Orleans, Louisiana, on July the 12th. And he died July the 13th. Did you ever see him when you were in Louisiana? I never did. No? I met, I think, one of his great-granddaughters one time somewhere, and she was trying to. Come to one of your shows? Trying to give me a BJ, honestly. A BJ, BJ. But this was, who knows what was going on. But he went to ULL down there, and then he went to Florida State University. But no children, it says, I don't think, huh? No, he had a whole bunch of dogs. That was like his big thing. But I remember as a kid growing up, when Richard Simmons was coming on Letterman or Howard Stern or Ellen, you would wait.

55:44When Letterman was like, yo, come out next, it's Richard Simmons. You're like, oh, fuck. And he would come out and he would just kill. He would kill harder than a comedian on the sofa. He brought an energy with him. He was a real piece of energy that man. Now, if it's homosexuality, would you be willing to do those type of scenes in it if you had to, to honor him? If you were the other guy. oh sorry oh you're talking to me looks like I just got a part huh the weasel and the rat bro this is good that's cross pollination so you're acting though too you're in some movies and stuff right what do you like about acting you're trying to not talk about yourself but that's okay that's sweet of you to change the subject Paul you do a good job making about other people David Spade and I wrote a movie and we're trying to get financing for it Huh.

56:36Cool. Have you acted a lot? Yeah, some. A little bit. I love acting. Acting's fucking hard. Yeah. Which I love. Well, I mean, dude, in the 90s and early 2000s, you were, some people say the biggest star in the world. Did you feel like that? In my 20s, yeah, I felt like that. Because I was doing a lot. I was doing a lot. That's why I said to you at the comedy store, it was like six months ago, I said, you're like me. back when I was, you know, but you're in your 40s. I was in my 20s. I can't even imagine. Yeah, it was crazy. I did albums. I did, you know, movies, HBO specials. What helped you get your break?

57:14Do you feel like your mom helped you? No. Do you feel like it was only, is that a weird question? I don't mean to be rude. No, no, that's not rude at all. I don't know. No. No, MTV. Oh, I know that. My mom didn't get me on MTV. I got me on MTV. Yeah, oh, 100%. I mean, they saw me and they're like, fuck, this kid's funny. And I got on MTV and it just, it took off. And then from there Jeffrey Katzenberg found me And he was running Disney At the time And he fucking just Wrote all these movies for me And they all did well for me Do you remember Like would they come And see you at the store Or did you have to go to meetings What was that like Both Both I had my manager Michael Rotenberg From Three Arts That was your manager Yeah for eight years Yeah he was my manager The whole time Michael's a cool dude Really fucking cool That's my homie What's up Michael What's up Michael What's up Michael Rotenberg I call him Crisco You do Crisco Cause he's so greasy bro He's so greasy Rodenberg is cool, man.

58:02I like his, we have a similar sense of humor. And I, yeah, so he, he ran my, ran my shit, him and Adam Bennett from CAA. Yeah. Yeah, CAA ran my stuff for those. It was like Willy Wonka. I'm sorry I asked you if your mom helped you get it. No, I don't care. I know this wasn't cool though. Okay, well you can cut that part out. You can leave it in. I just feel a little bad. I just, I don't know why I said that. Well, I guess it's a hard business and people take whatever, whoever can help you sometimes it's good not that you didn't stand here's what I meant it's not that you didn't stand on your own talent that's what I mean yeah I think what we need to do is take a silence you know how like you sound like if someone dies yeah you do a silence and then you know yeah and let's put these hats on too yeah yeah hats in the glasses just for asking me if my mom got me in the show business let's just take a time for a you know what I mean yeah let's do five seconds huh just like but you gotta breathe think of ayahuasca I know we do that sometimes up in the hills so you know here we go Theo and myself are taking a little moment to get that energy out of the room that he put in there, thinking that my mom, Mitzi Shore, the owner of the biggest comedy club in the world, got me my break in the entertainment business.

59:20Wait, there's still some bad energy. Just anything, Theo, you want to add? BLM, homie. Okay, we got it out. That was good. All right. No, but it was just, it was, they saw me do stand-up. They saw, do, you know, I would, MTV. MTV was the thing. All right, but was there a call that you got one of you and you were like, okay, this is getting fucking crazy. Well, after Encino Man came out and it was a big hit for me and then we rolled into Son-in-Law and it was just like boom, boom, and they brought me around the world. You know, you know what I used to do, I used to do when I used to, when we used to do shows, I used to never have people sitting.

1:00:02It was always festival. seating. So I always had a band open for me, like the Spin Doctors. They would open for me. And then I would come out and do 45 minutes people standing. And in between my jokes, I would stage dive. Oh, and then just come back to the stage. Exactly. I would stage dive. I would stage dive, and then I would come back and then do more jokes. That's kind of how it was. But it was called Festival seating. You remember when I was a kid, you'd go to those concerts where there's no seats. I love how they call it festival seating. There's no seats. There's no seats. And then I'd bring the band back out and then I would sing songs.

1:00:46And I had this one song that was a hit song on MTV called Lisa Lisa, the one I adore. Do you remember it? I'm a stony crusty dude with the mop on top. My melon's fully tweaked, but I'll never stop. Stop trying to wheeze the nugs from coast to coast. The ones with the cones are the ones I dig the most. Sing Lisa, Lisa. Lisa, Lisa. Stony body major. Stony body major. Yeah, that's how we remember it, man. It sounds pretty good. It was pretty cool. Did anybody ever remake it? There it is. Turn that shit up. Crank that shit. Whoa, look at the fucking lamb mess on her. Turn it up. Look at this shit.

1:01:30Here we go. Look at this.

1:01:39But I'll never stop. Stop trying to reach the nugs. Come on. The ones with the cones. Lisa, Lisa. Lisa, Lisa. Make sure. Lisa, Lisa. Oh. Bro, it seems like, hold on, it seems like you just made this video so you could smash a lot of these shits, bro. Be honest, dude. No, it was a song based off of my ex-girlfriend. Yeah, have you seen the front nuts on that one lady, dude? Yeah, she was. You're odd, huh? She was in the Firehouse video. Really? Remember Firehouse? I'd fucking burn a house down to fucking. I know, she was. Dude, yeah, if you put a hose, yeah. I'd hose them things off for sure. She was cute.

1:02:24She seemed like a great woman, that's what I meant. Yes. But, yeah, so. And did you ever make love to this woman? Um, I'm not sure. I think we, her name was Heather. Heather. Heather Parkhurst. Very, very cool. Cool, cool friend. Very cool friend. Okay. I'm just saying. She was. She was cool. Oh, I believe all that. Dude, you know where we used to go? That was fucking insane. Yeah, tell me that. Holy fuck, dude. Let's put our hats on real quick, too. Yeah, our hat goes back on. Fuck, dude. It was, uh, it was, uh, Don Barris was the host. Fuck, what was it called? I wonder what it was called, the evening at the...

1:03:01No, it was... The Sinking of the Cerebellum. No, it was... Ding Dong Show? No, not the Ding Dong Show. This is way before. This was... Fuck, I forgot the name. It wasn't like Retard Wednesdays or something. No, it was Mud Wrestling. It was Mud Wrestling. It was the Tropicana. Oh, in Vegas. No, the Tropicana here in Hollywood. It was right off of Hollywood Boulevard. I didn't even know that. But he used to host this thing, and the girls would come out, and it would be mud wrestling. Yeah. And Don hosted it. It was fucking hilarious, dude. He had, Don is, Don is, yeah, I wouldn't f*** Don, that's for sure.

1:03:41No, but it was a big deal. I mean, I blessed him. I wouldn't f*** him because he's a man. That's why. But mud wrestling was a big deal back in the 90s. That's what I mean, yeah. That's how it was, yeah. Do you think, do you think Trump will be the next president? Mm. I don't want to say anything. I mean, I don't want to say anything about it. I like watching it and just kind of being a fan of the political theater. Yeah, it's a good point. I like just watching it and not know. I mean, no one knows what the fuck's going to happen. But I know there's going to be some, it's going to be a real fight.

1:04:18It's kind of like UFC fight, but for, you know, because it's basically they're fighting for the most powerful job in the world. So they're going to go after each other pretty fucking hard. Yeah. I mean, and they're completely different. I mean, she's like a prosecutor for like sex trafficking or something, isn't she? Yeah. I mean, I don't know. Isn't she like San Francisco? I don't know. I thought she was an undercover cop or something. What was her original job? She was a district attorney previously. District attorney. But didn't she like, wasn't she a prosecutor? Yes. Like, so she would prosecute on behalf of, I think, like the Bay Area.

1:04:52Oh, like CSI? I don't know. Huh. Yeah, I don't know. But either way, she's not a fan of Trump. Right. So, yeah, it's going to be a good battle. And he's not a fan of hers. So it's going to be fun to watch. Did you ever get to party with Trump back in the day anyway? I did see him a lot back in the day. Yeah, absolutely. And what kind of guy did he see? Like, if he saw me, he would fucking laugh. Yeah. Like, he'd be like, fuck, Pauly Shore. He'd be like, you're still alive? What the fuck? How the fuck are you still around? He was cool. He was, the first time I used to see him was in Daytona Beach.

1:05:23And this was back in the 90s. and this was when we did Spring Break for MTV and all that, and you had Rodney Dangerfield, Vince Neil was down there, John Lovitz, and Ron Rice was the owner of Hawaiian Tropics. That's when the hard tits came out. Remember that? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Remember when hard-ass tits came out? Yes, and Fabio, remember Fabio? Yeah. He was around, that was around like Al. People would look at my tits, and they'd look like, you could, like, you went like that, and it was like, Yeah, yeah. Like, and he touched it, and fucking squeaked. Yeah. They're like, damn, what are they making out of fucking?

1:05:54They would lean over and you'd see these bags. They'd be hanging out. Yeah. And they would look like, yeah. It was almost like somebody had made them out of dish gloves or something. They were like. Right. If you pulled a shirt on them, you could hear them like. It was just like, Taylor bitches are plastic, bro. Yeah. This one girl I was dating, this one girl, her boobs started moving, bro. Oh, yeah. Yeah, he wound up on her back. Oh, wow. But it was cool, though, because when I was doing Behind Doggy Style, they're right there, bro, easy access.

1:06:30Chinese. Chinese is cool. Chinese is good, dude. Chinese is cool. So, yeah, so that's right. Some of that is the moon, too, wherever the moon is. That's what's neat about some of those. Wherever the moon is, that's where their tits will go. Yeah. And that's beautiful. A lot of you guys know we started off with our first advertiser ever was Gray Block Pizza. Get that hitter, baby. And the owner of Gray Block Pizza, my friend Thomas, evolved his business up in Oregon to start Blue Cube Baths. And he sent me one, and it's absolutely beautiful. A wonderful cold plunge, the best cold plunge in the market.

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1:07:57That's right. They're giving one away. They will announce the giveaway soon. So follow them at Blue Cube Baths. And we wish them the best of luck and thank them for supporting the podcast so early on. But yeah, I would see him at the Daytona Beach, the Hawaiian Tropic parties. What did he seem like? This is my number one thing about Donald Trump, right? I've met him a few times, but not had a chance to really engage with him, right? So you get an idea of him, but you're always like, well, what is he like? Like, you know, like you, if I never got to talk to you, I would have, you know, some general thoughts, but I wouldn't really know, well, what is he like?

1:08:36Like, do you know what he's like? Like, is he like a business guy? Is he just like a fun guy that plays tennis? Like, I think I wish I knew more about how he is. Does that make any sense? Yeah, no, I never had those type of conversations where I'm like, oh, yeah, I remember one time we talked about this. It was always like kind of like when I'd see Hugh Hefner. I would never really engage in a conversation with him. I'd always kind of wave, shake his hand. You know what I mean? So with Trump, it was like the same thing. Do you miss those parties over there? Was that fun? It was fun because it was before the whole social media thing.

1:09:08But it's kind of like even driving down Sunset Boulevard now is fucking depressing. You know, the store is the only thing that's fucking popping. You know what I mean? Yeah, a lot of shit is just fucking insane. Yeah, but you drive down Sunset on a Saturday night, there's nothing. It's just tumbleweed. It is quiet, huh? People don't go out anymore because people are scared. They don't want to be around the photos and the videos and, you know what I mean? So the parties are in the house. People stay in. And also COVID as well, people shifted and stayed in that. Unlike if you go to Texas or Florida where people don't give a fuck.

1:09:39Oh, the second I got to Tennessee, yeah, people were spitting in each other's mouths and shit. You know what I'm saying? The kind of shit America's about, you know? Yeah. Recycling. But here in LA, it's just like, it's, you know. It has gotten quieter, huh? Yeah. The word is joy. There's not a lot of joy in like Hollywood anymore. There's no like fun. Although Silver Lake, Echo Park, Los Feliz, Hipster. Those are fucking fun, dude. Like that whole area, East Hollywood, is fucking, it's fun. Yeah. Yeah. It is interesting that Hollywood, it's kind of quieter now. Yeah. And even when I went to...

1:10:16Where is everybody? They're not going out. Or they moved. They moved. And even just in your life, have you seen it just change so much? I think after COVID. After COVID and all that, it just shifted into a different time. Because when Rogan and them were at the store, that was crazy too. Remember that? I mean, you go on a Tuesday night, bro, and it was insane. yeah um here's a video how bad hollywood is what is this this is a guy saying how bad it is in hollywood it's not fun it's not joyful he's talking about uh just the industry and what they're making right now so i wonder if that's pretty bad here in hollywood and now we have some numbers to back it up uh film la has just released their report on on location and stage based production data let's take a look at what this means production in la is down uh way way way down.

1:11:10From just last year, feature films are down 3.3 % versus a five-year average. As we know things were bad already, it is 23.8 % down. Commercials are even worse. Over a five-year average, 36.1 % down. Television is down 45.8%. And whatever other is, is down 20%. So like industrial films, short films, just everything. Reality TV looks insane. The purple line here There's reality. There's COVID. There's the strike. There's where reality TV is in L.A. right now. So as you can see, just across the board, everything is down. All in all, versus a five-year average, production shoot days in Los Angeles, California, the home of the film industry, are down 33.4%.

1:11:52Wow. So I got a little curious when I went to the Bureau of Labor Statistics to get the numbers on unemployment rates in the motion picture and television industry. Now, they do lump the sound recording industries in with this, but as you can see, it's not good. that is a 16.1 percent unemployment rate in the motion picture and television industry and that is from june so that is not counting the massive layoffs that just occurred again at warner brothers discovery and it's definitely not counting all the ones that are about to come yeah but so i mean they're just interesting and i'm not saying all this is like exact but i'm just i saw this the other day and i was like wow yeah i wonder if there's just not as many people here as well well it's also the business has shifted yeah you know the business has shifted to this i mean look how many millions of people watch you doing this.

1:12:34You know what I mean? So it's not, you know, everything. And look at the OnlyFans girls. I mean, you probably know a lot of women that, you know, back in the day, if you were a pretty girl and you had to come to LA, you're Maxim, Playboy, Penthouse, Hustler, FHM. And that was it. You had to get in one of those. Now, no one needs those. And now you've got all these influencers doing and making money. so everything has shifted you know so i think since 2015 16 17 you know the business has shifted and then guys like mark walbert moved to vegas so they're starting to do a whole studio out there so make their own thing yeah doing their own thing so people are saying like hey you don't need to live in la and especially because there's everyone's in a zoom world now you know one goes to fucking meetings anymore i feel bad for people that own office buildings i mean think about it I mean, how big of a nut is that CAA building?

1:13:26You've been in there. Yeah. It's fucking massive. It's huge in there. You know how much that is for rent? And the agent's probably like, I don't feel like going in. I'm going to get sick or I'm going to stay home. And they just let them. Look at that. Yeah. And then a lot of new agencies kind of started up when social media started. Or when TikTok and people popped up on Instagram, they joined groups like Shots have you heard of them? who owned Shots or who started Shots? S-H-O-T-S but it's the wild west but that became like the agency it was like a new, you know what I'm saying because CA and they weren't even on board different agencies weren't even seeing this sort of thing you know yeah so there you go Shots Podcast Network Shots Podcast Network worked as a company.

1:14:20Oh, founded by John Shahidi. I didn't even know that. And Sam Shahidi. I know these guys. The company was originally founded as a software development company, um, in 2009. Um, in November, 2019, Spotify announced a suite of podcasts and included a partnership with shots podcast network. Um, but yes, groups like shots became the representatives for, uh, for a lot of talent. And so they weren't even working with agents, you know, the original agencies anymore, the big agencies. Yeah. You know, it's, it's, it's changed. It's completely changed. Yeah, the other day someone was like, do you want to be in a movie?

1:14:53And I was like, is it going to be 40 seconds long? And is it going to be on TikTok? That's hilarious. Yeah. Kids can't even watch a movie without taking a pill now, some kids. They're like, mom, give me two pills. I'm going to watch a movie. Give me half a cup. No, I can't. That's the same with me. I got to have a pill when I watch my movies too. No, but it's true. You're watching the news, and then you're watching your Netflix, then you're on your Instagram, and you're looking at your thing. It's fucked up. But it is the way it is. It's like he's got us. Steve Jobs got us. He won, huh? Yeah, he got us.

1:15:25I mean, we're basically, we're this. And it's just the way it is. You know what I mean? And the wildest part, Paulie, I think one thing is that Pete, some people for years have been like, you think we'll live forever. You think it'll be a time where we'll live forever. And now I do, but it's not in the way we think. It's going to be in a digitized way. It's like eventually from this episode alone, they'll be able to make a you and a me that can exist in some virtual world where you could talk to us anytime. This is good. We could be in Japan tomorrow. Oh, yeah. This is going to Sona. Hey, huh?

1:16:00Sayonara. Sayonara. Los tits. Los tits. You know, it's about the numbers. It's about the eyeballs. You know, you, Joe, Tony, Shane Gillis, you know, all these guys, like you fucking tapped into it. You know what I mean? Yeah. I mean, you don't need all that shit. because at the end of the day, everyone's coming after you now. I mean, they see the tickets you're selling. They see the numbers that this is. You know what I mean? It's fucking crazy. Like, if you wanted to star in your own Theo Vaughn series, like fucking everybody, what's the guy? Everybody loves Randy or whatever? Yeah, the Randy Redwoods.

1:16:35No, the fucking. Rick Springfield in it? Who was in it? No, you know what I'm saying. What the fuck? Hey, Ramona. Everybody loves Raymond. Oh, Tires? No, the guy. No, not. No, no. The guy that starred in the Christmas movies Oh I know who you're talking about David Quaid No Ernest Saves Christmas Oh yeah Yeah put up Ernest Ernest Saves Christmas You're the next guy Let me produce these movies It'll be good Never the main Look at There you go See this is what you gotta do Hey come on dude This will be Dude you're the modern day fucking Ernest bro No that guy was a BLM activist dude Look at this guy How great would this be We could do Fucking Theo Saves Christmas Theo fucking goes to, you know, on vacation.

1:17:17Theo saves$40, too. Chinese, go to his IMDB. Yeah, here we go. See, we can just take your head out, take your head out and put your fucking, his head out, and put your, like, what is this? Ernest saves Christmas. Ernest goes to camp. So just change the name. Fucking Theo saves Christmas. Theo goes to jail. Ernest goes to rehab, I could do. You know what I'm saying, dude? Ernest goes to detox. Dude, I would do a series of these, bro. That's what I'm saying, dude. Ernest goes to remedial reading. Ernest goes to court. Ernest goes to Africa. Theo goes to Africa. Theo goes to the army. This is you, bro.

1:17:55If Ernest goes to Africa, Ernest goes to the AIDS clinic, dude, probably. I'm guessing, and no offense to Africa, those are rumors, and a lot of that's on Reddit. So what do you think? I mean, can you guys Photoshop Theo's head on top of his head? Well, that's the thing. They're just going to be able to, as long as they license you or whatever, they can put you in a movie, dude. But yeah, but we got to do it for you. You're hot right now. This could be good. I don't know. Scroll up to the top. Yeah, you don't want to fucking do a David Spade movie. Do fucking Theo's scared of stupid. Theo's scared of stupid is perfect.

1:18:29I mean, you could just do your face. Put his face back up there. Put his dumb face. Dude, can you do black face in the future? Let's be honest. No, no, no, no, no, no. We don't want to do that. Here, put his face back up. Not now, dude. Look at this. Wait, here we go. At least we should be able to do Native American face, right? Yeah, see this guy. Do this face right here. Do it. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Hold on. Yeah. I mean, that's a fucking hit, dude. I don't know. I don't think it would look anything I like. You got to do a series of movies. This is great. It's perfect timing. I don't know, man.

1:19:01Go straight to YouTube. I like just being here each week. But maybe, I don't know. I mean, the thing about space, I notice it's like, this is what I heard about movies. It's fun if you're with your friends, dude And if you have to be somewhere Stuck somewhere for a while And it's not your friend Or you want to sit there every night and have dinner Then it just seems like it's not as fun, you know Yeah, that's why I could never be in that movie Because Dave's in it Really? We're not friends Y 'all aren't? No, fuck that guy No, I'm just kidding No, he's my friend I met him You know I met him I did a movie with George Burns No way From the Gods Must Be Crazy?

1:19:34No, it was called 18 Again George Burns You remember George Burns? Yeah, from The Gods Must Be Crazy, wasn't he? The old guy. Here, put up George Burns, 18 again, right there. So this is George Burns. This was my first movie ever. George Burns was a comedian back in the day. Oh, yeah, I know he was George Burns. He lived about 98 years old. Yeah, that guy. So I did this movie. See this guy on the left? His name's Charlie Schlatter. So I played Charlie Schlatter's best friend in 18 again. Oh. Yeah, so that's where I met George Burns, and that's when I met David Spade, because David Spade was best friends with Charlie Schlatter.

1:20:08So I've known David Spade since I was 19. Wow. David's, I mean, how has he always had so much luck with the ladies? Be honest, man. I don't know. He's sexy. Oh, David's a close friend of mine. I think he's handsome. He's one of the funniest guys. Yes. But how did he get so much? I mean, there's a lot of guys that are like that. That's true. Not like him. He's special. But how does he, the guy's, you know. Yeah, he's good. He's like the David Copperfield of straight dudes, man. Yeah, he's a gorgeous man. Yeah. He's a gorgeous man. Well, is that true? Look, there you go. See? You got to put Theo goes to school, though.

1:20:49Yeah, these guys are fired. Yeah, you know what I'm saying? Look, they have one job. They left Ernest on the thing. I'm joking, I'm joking, man. Oh, put Theo goes to BLM rally, too, dude. I'll fucking roll up at that bitch, dude. Huh? I say we do a series of fucking Ernest movies and just change it to Theo and just do the same fucking script. No one's going to know. The kids aren't going to remember this fucking guy. Dude, most people can't even see that far. How far can people see usually? What do you mean? I'm just saying, like, how far can somebody see? What does that mean? The average sight distance for a person with normal vision is about three miles.

1:21:32Get fucked, dude When standing on a flat surface With their eyes about 5 feet above the ground That is bullshit I thought it was like 70 feet or something Why are you asking this question? I'm not sure exactly, I guess We were just talking about David Spade, Average Reed Oh Whatever, man, we'll move it along When Bobby Lee came, what was it like when you saw him first? Because a lot of people, you know Are like, what is it, you know? He was just adorable I mean, he was - You remember him? Yeah, I discovered him. You know I discovered him. I didn't know it. You didn't know that. I didn't. Yeah, yeah.

1:22:08No, I found him. Where'd you see him at? Panda Express. He was getting some orange chicken. No, I saw him naked at a Korean spa. Oh, yeah. No, for real. I saw him at - He's from San Diego. Yeah. In a - He's from Petaluma. Yeah, a restaurant called Brockton Villa, and he was like a server there. And you just saw him. And I was there with my mom. I think I was there with my mom or my brothers or something. And I said, yo, you're fucking hilarious. Come to the comedy store. So I got him a gig at the comedy store. He was taking tickets. In La Jolla? Yeah, in La Jolla. The comedy store there. And you just thought he was funny from the interactions?

1:22:47Yeah, just because he was adorable. And then he started taking tickets at the La Jolla room and then he started going up on open mic night and then I would see him down there and every time I'd come down there and play, you know, I'd kind of put him up in front of me. And then eventually I took him on the road and then he became a paid regular at the Riviera Hotel in Las Vegas when my mom was there to see me. And he opened for me at the Riviera Hotel in the late nineties. And then, um, and that's when my mom made him a paid regular. She says, you're funny, you can work the store. Right then. Yeah.

1:23:22And then, um, yeah. So I discovered, yeah. That's awesome. You did all that for him yeah and then he opened for me for eight years he toured with me for eight years opened for me on the bus and the whole thing kind of like Ari yeah you know Amir they opened for you he just opened for me we did merch I got I got videos of him fucking chicks yeah yeah it's fucking great I'm gonna release them the next time he's got something coming out you know oh yeah yeah oh this was guest house wow so you guys went through all that together what was he like then And what ethnicity was he? Because people were like, what is he?

1:23:56He's Korean. He's not Korean? I don't know. Bring up Korea. You think he's from Thailand or something? I don't know. He looks more like Osaka to me or whatever. Huh. But I don't know. Yeah, so I've written some scripts with him. I got a great script called Captured, where I capture him and put him in a cage in my backyard. Oh, yeah. And we did this. He's done a lot of stuff with me. He's in guest house. Back there feeding him pine nuts. He's an interesting guy, you know? Yeah. He's one of a kind. Would he sleep all day back then or was he more of a morning person? Because he's devolved into a nighttime.

1:24:35He's awake like five hours a day. It's definitely a very specific style of living. Yeah. I don't know. He would hide from me a lot. He'd always hide from me. One time he cried on the road with me. he cried because uh i wanted it was um we were in detroit and that'll do it and uh sorry no no we were in detroit and uh you know the the road manager gives everyone their their hotel keys you know so bobby goes to his key and i just followed him in his room and he's like what are you doing i'm like i'm staying with you tonight you know i'm gonna stay with you in the room and he wasn't into that and i'm like no dude because i don't have anyone i'm lonely i want to I don't want to go back to my room by myself.

1:25:19Yeah. And I, you know, and then he started crying. And then when he cried, I just left. But, yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah. He's definitely. And the crazy thing about him crying, it's like one tear gets in his eye and it's. Yeah. Yeah. It's full. He's doing great now, too. It's full. But again, I told him, I said, dude, it's going to happen for you. He was always neurotic. Really? Yeah. Well, yeah. Yeah, he was, you know, before his podcast, he was just trying to figure, he barely was selling out comedy clubs. Wow. You know what I mean? I've always, he's one guy who could never change a word from his set, and I would walk every single time.

1:25:59Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's just, actually, when he walks up, it's already, the setup is already there. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And not in a negative way, the setup is already there. Yeah, no, I love Bobby. Bobby is very, very close with him. I do see him at the Korean spa sometimes. He gets really fucking freaked out when I go again. Really? Yeah. He showed his butthole to some kids somewhere. I don't know where that was at. I'm trying to remember. I don't know if there's a video of that. It was definitely a drawing of it. Yeah, but he's a good dude, you know? Oh, yeah. Yeah, he's doing good. Yeah, he's doing good.

1:26:32You know who else is doing good? Jesus Trejo. He's doing good, too. He's always been so funny. Yeah, so he opened for me for eight years, too. Dang. Eight years, yeah. A lot of these guys. Eight years in opener. Ari Shafir opened for me. Rick Ingram opened for me. All these guys. Yeah, it's cool. I love bringing those guys out on the show. Yeah, that's one cool thing about the store is just like, it's just, I don't know. Once you get in there and you make your way through and you've been there for a while and you know who's who and you kind of, you develop your own little relationship with the space and the people you love to see and people come and go and the people that work there.

1:27:09And it's like, it is just such a universe. You know, we're lucky to be able to have a workplace that has a lot of joy and like different people at it. And it's fun. Like imagine you get to go to work and it's actually, you can say what you want. You're encouraged. There's no real HR. In fact, HR is like, HR is encouraging you to fucking say crazy shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I never thought about that, man. That's such a crazy blessing, dude. Do you think your mother felt very achieved with her with the comedy club?

1:27:41Yeah. I mean, she's, you know, and that's, you know, the way that it's still, the way that it's left right now is exactly how she left it, which is awesome. You know, she just put her stamp on it. She's leave it alone. Don't fuck with it. And, you know, and just like, you know, the rooms are set up the way there are and different than the laugh factor, different than the improv, different vibes. Those are great clubs. But, you know, she kind of created the black and the red and all that stuff and, you know, and created that space. So, you know. It's pretty tight. Yeah, you wouldn't want it to change.

1:28:13Was there ever a chance that it was going to be sold at some point? I don't know. I don't think we would ever sell it. You know what I mean? I think just kind of leave it. You know, it's got to be a, what's it called? A Hollywood or a landmark or what's it called? Grandfather. What's it called? Oh, yeah. It's like a - Historical landmark. Yeah, historical landmark. Yeah, at some point, huh? Yeah, I think so. Yeah, it's a good point. I remember somebody, I don't know if I saw a drawing somewhere, that a hotel had drawn around it. They were going to build and leave it intact as is on the ground.

1:28:46That's kind of cool. And build up and just, you know, it was like a 20-story hotel and it would be right under exactly the same. I remember seeing a, somebody had put that together. I don't know if it was an, I think it was an architect drawing. I don't know if it was actually considered at one point, but I thought I remembered seeing that somewhere.

1:29:05What, when you, when you look at your life and like maybe having a family, do you have any children? My dog. That's like Scott. Your brother is the same, huh? Yes. Do you have children? Scott's got a dog. You know, he's got a dog. Yeah, I got a dog. I don't know. I mean, that's a whole other podcast. Okay. That's like a fucking, you know what I mean? No, we'll do it. That's like a whole other fucking. That's a good point. You know what I mean? That's a whole, there you go. That's my dog, Buster. Oh, that's cute. Yeah. When you look at guys like Brody Stevens, right? Who have had, who, what a shock was that?

1:29:41Is that, do you feel like things like that happen with suicide amongst comedians and stuff that happens? I mean, Jack Knight, remember Jack Knight? Who is that? Bring up Jack Knight. Who is he? So funny. Great energy. You remember Jack Knight? Huh. Remember seeing him? Yeah. I think two years ago he took his life. Huh. I mean, one of the funniest young men. Heartbreaking. Yeah, sometimes it's hard to get your mind to just fucking relax. You know what I mean? And I think it's important. It sounds kind of corny, but I think it's really important that everyone focuses on what they have as opposed to what they don't have.

1:30:28And I think that is, like, the key. You know, like, you've got to focus on your blessings. You know? as opposed to, you know. Yeah, because the other way is a trap because there's no end to, you can like, focusing on what you don't have and try to, I mean, I fall into it all the time, you know, but it's just a, it's such a trap or wanting more and then not even enjoying. The saddest thing I think is sometimes when I look back on certain moments in my life and I'm like, man, I wish I had enjoyed that a little more. Just by being present or just by sitting there quietly or by. Letting it in. Yeah.

1:31:04Yeah. And so what are you doing with all your money? I've been saving some money. Some? I mean, fuck, everyone sees the arenas. Like you fucking Tom Segura. Not arenas, dude. Segura, fucking Bird. Oh, those guys have been making some money, dude. I mean, what do you, I mean, Jesus Christ, dude. I wouldn't know what to do with that. I mean, it's crazy. Oh, dude. You got to put it away, bro. Oh, I see. You can, I mean, you don't spend on yourself just like me. Yeah. Right? You got a Jeep or. yeah I got a Jeep Cherokee like I don't like I've never been that guy either I felt embarrassed inviting people over to my apartment when I was a kid because I was ashamed of it and I feel embarrassed sometimes I have a house in Nashville it's a nice home and it's it's not like an estate or anything but I feel ashamed even sometimes showing that it's like I just I don't know Yeah, I'm trying to rent out my house now too.

1:32:04Oh, yeah, it's a beautiful home. Yeah, I'm trying to rent out the house too. With all that, what's that like terracotta? Yeah, terracotta tile. God. No, just because it's like you said, like I'm just one guy with my dog. You know, and then I have a condo in Vegas. You know, I kind of - Yeah, you live there a lot. Yeah, I stock you at the Resorts World. So I see your poster there all the time. So I, you know, it's right there. So I have like a one bedroom condo and I got all my shit there. And it feels more comfortable than my house in LA. Yeah. Because, you know, I'm just one guy. You know, the older you get, the realize the less you need.

1:32:36I don't want to be that guy that's by himself with his dog in this big house. You know what I mean? So I just don't like living in a big house. You know, it's not who I am. Yeah, I think some things that are kind of, this is kind of fucking emo and sad and is definitely going to be accused of light homosexuality. But, yeah, like sometimes I'll lay in bed at night and like just the space in my bed, it feels fucking lonesome, you know? But then sometimes if a girl wanted to stay over, I'd be like, I don't know if I like having somebody stay over. Right. So it's like I just... Yeah. Everything with me...

1:33:11Well, I'll sleep in the other room. All right. Yeah, yeah. No, if a girl stays at night, I'm like, I'm going to go peace out in the other room. Okay. But when you sleep alone at night, how do you sleep? Okay, here's what I do. So first I wash my face, brush my teeth, put in my retainers, put on a Breathe Right strip on my nose, right? Okay. I want all the oats. Is that from all the coke? I don't know what it's from. It could be just from having a big nose. It could be from cocaine. It could be a mix of things. It could be from Satan. Who knows what happened? So you put the stuff on here. Put the thing on, and then I'll lay down, put a pillow between my legs, get another pillow that I hold on to, set the air conditioner at 69, because I don't want to be too crazy, and then...

1:33:56And then you start 69ing your pillow? And I'll pee. I will pee right before I go to sleep and hope I don't have to pee all night that's my goal is to not have to pee all night and then what about sleep medication be honest I'll take a couple melatonin chewies and then I'll take there's a pill from my doctor it's a a Xanax? no no ambient? no it's so light it's like fucking it's just basically like it's like a little queer nugget I mean this thing wouldn't And then why is it that you think you need to take the melatonin and this pill from the doctor? Wait, stop. Wait three seconds to answer. Think about it.

1:34:38Why do you have to take that in order to sleep? Is it a psychological thing? Do you really feel like it really mellows you out? Or do you think that it mellows you out? I think it mellows me out. Really? And I got to shut it down. Especially after a show, right? Oh, yeah. Fuck. And right now I am, I think I'm 64 days off of masturbation and 60 days off of porn, 64 days off pornography and 57 days off of masturbation. So then you were doing it a lot? Not a lot, but I had done it for countless years, yeah. Yeah, but back when you were young, even in your 40s, you're jerking off all the time? Really?

1:35:14Yeah. Don't you like to save your cum? I mean, yeah, I like to store up for winter or whatever, I guess. I don't know, but it's like - Yeah, because if you're going to cum with a chick, you want a lot to cum out. I don't want to get crazy. I don't want her to be like, God, we got to, you know, ruining the curtains. When you have sex with a girl, do you put a condom on or does she put it on if she tells you to put it on? Look, if people want to use a condom, we let them use them, you know? Who's we? I don't know who we are, your honor. I don't know who we are, okay? Talk to my attorney right now.

1:35:42And then sometimes you put it in and then they're like, yo, you're having sex with girls without condoms? You're like, oh, what are you talking about? That's fucking right. I don't know what you're talking about. I don't know what you're talking about either, bro. That's crazy, dude. That's why this is going a different way. Okay. How long were your parents separated? Do you remember? Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. We're not going to my fucking parents all of a sudden. Okay, sorry, sorry. We're talking about you fucking your pillow. Dude, do you remember the first time you ever had sex or not? Wait, wait, wait, wait.

1:36:08Let's go back to your sleep situation. Okay. We're going back three seconds. I'm laying there. Got all my stuff. Oh, and then I'll put stuff in my hair to try and keep my hair healthy. So just like type of? Copper foam. There's like a foam you can get online. What about Propecia? I take Finasteride pill. I take Propecia. Oh, yeah, you're taking the store-bought one. I take the freelance one or whatever. What's the freelance one? It's the one that you can get out the guy's van or whatever down there. Oh, wow. Finasteride. Oh, I should get some of it. Is it a pill? It's the same thing you're taking.

1:36:39It's just the generic version. You're rich. Why don't you get the real Propecia? Yeah, but I'm fucking used to just the off-market pills. What about the generic Cialis? Oh, dude, I took the stuff from India for a while. It would make my legs sweat. So generic Cialis? It was just like an Indian. Do you take the Cialis or the Viagra? It was just that fucking ramp maker from India, baby. That thing will fucking, good Lord, son. Really? Oh, you could fucking knit a scarf with that thing. What's it called? That thing will whistle for a cab, baby. It was a website. It went under. It was off this gambling site or whatever.

1:37:18but I used to get them. It would take forever to get the pills. They'd come in this package and they had like... Do you ever get massages? Yeah. Who's your masseuse? You don't have to tell me the guy's name or the girl's name. It's a man. So yeah, he comes over to the house with the table? No, no, no. I go to his place. It's off Westwood Boulevard. Why don't you have him come to your house with the table? I got a guy, dude. He's strong as fuck. No, I got a guy. He's great. Dude, I don't need some guy to come over and touch me, dude. You know what I'm saying? Wait, touching your house is different than touching at his facility?

1:37:47Who gives a fuck? You think I'm fucking Protestant or something, dude? I'm good, bro. Yeah, I'd rather at least... Then I can leave. Otherwise, I have to tell the guy to... Yeah, I don't want some guy touching me at my fucking house, dude. Really? No. Huh. No, dude. Even if he's a professional masseuse and he just came from David Geffen's house? Dude, a professional masseuse is just some guy that printed something off the internet, dude. No, I got a guy who's really strong. Really strong. Okay, but how about this? And he comes to my house, and he has a table, and he's coming at night. Because I'm flying to Raleigh tomorrow, so I want to get a little deep tissue before.

1:38:24But you tell me this. Say you go look online. We have nobody. I don't look online. Okay. I don't look online for masseuses. No way. No, I just get it from a referral. You ask a homie that's like, hey, do you want to get a masseuse? Oh, yeah, this girl, she's really strong, da, da, da, da. And you ask someone, you just get it that way. You're right. I got a strong guy coming to the house okay okay you win dude look I like going to see this guy I will say this my guy where's your house where do you live I live in Nashville but in no out here Westwood so you have a place out in Westwood I have an apartment in Westwood yeah huh okay I'll send him to your house for me I'll buy a masseuse for you I'll buy the masseuse for you and then go do it and then tell me if you fucking like it okay and he's strong as fuck is he very strong I want very strong I want somebody who just yeah No, he'll get in there.

1:39:13He's fucking good, dude. Okay. Yeah. I'll do that. Yeah, my present for you. Really? Yes, because at the end of the day, you're up there on stage, you're traveling, you're making people laugh, you got to take care of your shoulders. What about the spa? You go to the Russian bathhouse? But I do start getting steam room. Now I do do that. Yeah. So the Korean spa. I do start getting steam room now and it's good. I went yesterday. Yeah, you have to. I didn't realize I needed to take care of myself. Dude, I do all the time. I go five days a week. Fuck, I didn't know that. Dude, I fucking, it killed me, dude.

1:39:45My hair got thin, all kind of stuff, because I wasn't taking care of myself. I just didn't know. Yes. And in Vegas, there's a place called Imperial Spa. I've heard of that. Yeah. And it's good. It's Korean spa. But also, there's all those spas and the cold plunge and all that shit. Yeah. You got to do that. I got a cold plunge at home. My friend makes a good cold plunge, and he gave me one as a gift. And he was my first sponsor ever on my podcast. He used to own a pizza place here. Oh, wow. My friend Thomas used to run a place called Gray Block Pizza, and then he moved to Bend, Oregon and started making cold plunges out there with his buddies.

1:40:18Beautiful. Yeah, because it's all about sweating. What about the workout? What do you do with that? I'm going to get a trainer two days a week, and then I'll go myself probably one or two days a week. I'll do a little bit of yoga too. Stretch lab? Do you go to get stretched? No, I do my own yoga. That's good. Chiropractor? No, but I need to go this morning. I was looking at myself. I was like, Jesus. I got a good chiropractor. here too really really good yeah i was looking at my body in the mirror i was like jesus what is that you know it just seemed like it was like fucking like it was like yeah you gotta do that shit my whole my whole body look he just wasn't sure you know what i'm like 10 years older than you yeah so it's like you know this is the age where you got to start really doing yeah that's the most important thing and sweating yeah yeah do it all yeah i'm starting to learn a little bit more of that um now you can only get kind of so famous right like fame is different now it feels like everybody's pretty popular kind of everybody is yeah because there's so much see stuff to see quickly it used to be you had to go see a movie and then those people would be famous but now in the time it would take you to watch a movie you can look at 200 different people and all of them have a level of achievement to you um do you feel like you got fame at like the best time yeah I mean I was it was I think it was the last great decade of it I mean if you look at the 60s 70s 80s 90s that was all kind of similar and then once reality reality shows hit you know the real world I think that was like the first reality show which was in like in the mid 90s yeah I think that's when things got fucked up yeah yeah no um it was you know it was pretty it's so crazy You know?

1:41:58Like, did you ever get to party with, like, Michael Jackson? No, I met him once. You did? Yeah, I met him once. But it wasn't like we hung out. It was just like a high type thing. But, I mean, back in the MTV days, I met a lot of, you know, pretty cool. But do you remember the sound of his voice or anything or no? Hi. Hi. What's going on? Hi, Pauly. I like your music video show. It's very cute. Really? Yeah. He was fucking amazing. Yeah. I mean, God. Yeah, he was like, you know, you look at guys like Bruno Mars, super talented, but not Michael Jackson or Prince. You know, these guys were like, you know, another level.

1:42:37Yeah. And they had a level of mystery. And it was like, yeah. But yeah, there was just so much. I don't know. But also MTV was the biggest thing in the world. Yeah, it was the biggest thing in the world. It was the only thing between. The kids watched. Yeah. Oh, you're watching MTV. come over let's watch MTV yeah let's watch MTV you're crazy remember TRL oh yeah Total Request Live yeah and who was the host on it Carson Daly Carson Daly yeah and he would toss to like Britney Spears or Korn Limp Bizkit you know Wyclef yeah this was like one of the last great eras here Britney Spears you ever get to party with her huh not really um no not really She's in her own thing She did steal my table recently in Las Vegas Oh she showed up at a club?

1:43:32Oh no I was having dinner at Catch In Vegas over at the Aria And I went to the bathroom And then she fucking I guess She hit some security guy And then she went in And I come back to my fucking table And she's sitting in my table By herself? No she's with her boyfriend or husband Look at this right here She keeps getting different husbands or whatever Yeah Yeah so Look she touches this guy And the security hits her in the face Wow Yeah

1:44:05Maybe one more time And then she runs into The catch And I didn't care You know what I mean It's not like I'm Get out of my table But she ran into catch Because she was probably embarrassed Yeah and she went in there And I was like Alright just give me my fanny pack You can have the table I don't care And did she say anything or no? She said sorry, it's all good Wasn't a big deal How did she seem, okay? She seemed buzzed Yeah You know, but she's from where you're from Oh dude, you can get buzzed down there Right? Oh, just looking at your cousin, yeah Get you hard, or not hard, buzzed I meant Yeah, no, no, down Louisiana There's no comedy clubs in Louisiana Isn't that crazy?

1:44:46Do you remember there used to be the Baton Rouge Funny Bone? Did you ever go to it? Yes Bro that place had a strip club across the street Yeah yeah yeah Yeah we used to do comedy down there back in the day I played a lot of clubs back there Back in the 90s New Orleans didn't even have a club The what? New Orleans doesn't have a comedy club This is where it was Oh across the street Oh wow Right there That was it The Funny Bone Baby Baton Rouge Funny Bone And um Rest in Peace Is that the strip club? The penthouse? That's hilarious Yeah that was it Oh my god Danny Bennington Ave Baby that's where I got my start Right over there Yeah And then Yeah dude What happened to me I went to the store I was on the porch One time right Getting a beer I was just coming out here And Tommy comes out And he's like Well Well Well Haven't seen you In a while Right And bro I'd never been there I think he had me Confused with somebody Oh that's fucking hilarious He's like Like, why don't you come in tomorrow?

1:45:48I'll give you a spot. Right. Like, all right, fuck. What year was this? Shit, I don't even know. 2017, maybe? No, no, that's insane. No, 2007. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, sorry, dude. What the fuck? 17. My calendar's broken. Pauly Shore. Yeah, man. I'm glad we got to sit down finally. Me too. I would love to talk again, but we'll talk about the relationship stuff one day. Yeah, because I think we're similar. There's like a lot. It's tough. You know what I mean? Yeah. You know, and there's also something nice about being alone, you know, and having that space. Yeah, and that grows over time, too. Yeah, you know, and you always get people asking the same thing, which is what you asked me, do you want kids?

1:46:36And there's like a long pause. And like, with the right situation, I think I would. I'd be a good dad. I know I'd be a good dad. And everyone says that to me. Yeah. You know, because I love my, not to compare my dog to a kid, but I treat my dog great and I love being with him and I feel like it's my kid. Yeah. You know, so, yeah. And then also another thing is like my parents are deceased and I don't have that. Right. So it's like, you know, so you start a new life, you know, because I'm an orphan, you know, you know. Yeah. And I want to, you know, start a new life and look at my next 20, 30 years and I think it would be cool to have a kid, you know.

1:47:11Yeah. But again, like it's got to be, you know. and make them laugh dude that would be cool yeah make your kid laugh all the time or what if they don't even laugh at your jokes you're like damn hilarious that'd be even funnier that would be fucking funnier gosh but um yeah it would be really nice man it would be really really nice it's tough though because I think as a comedian part of you is still a kid in some ways you know I think it's a part of that that we don't let go of and it's so for some of us or for me for sure is your parents still with us it's tough to evolve yeah my mother's still alive And your dad?

1:47:44And my dad is dead, but he'd be alive if he could. And then you have brothers and sisters? Yeah, I got three brothers and sisters. They've all had children, or two of them have had kids. Okay, so how's that? So there's been kids. It's fun. Being an uncle's great. So then, yeah, I saw you on your Instagram when you were home with them. Yeah, we had a blast. Do you have nieces and nephews? Yes, I do. Oh, good. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Peter has some children? Yep. Oh, that's cool. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, yeah. We'll see. It's cool. We'll see. But anyways. it's possible Paulie Shore man thank you so much dude I really appreciate it can I plug my stuff real quick yeah let's do it we'll plug it at the beginning for you too what is it it's my podcast it's called the PMS Podcast Show love to have you on it it's over at Jam in the Van oh yeah which is awesome and then I have my one man show called Stick with the Dancing which is in the Richard Simmons biopic of course we're gonna be doing that as well that video is so impressive if you haven't gotten a chance to see it we played a little bit of it here but uh Court Gesture yeah god it's amazing dude thank you Yeah, and best of all.

1:48:42That's cool, man. Congratulations, dude, on staying creative. And just on your propensity to be hopeful and positive for other people. That's really a nice gift to have, you know? Yeah. And then also, just so you know, I didn't say this, but we sleep the same. I do the same thing. Pillow between my legs, 69 degrees, shit in my hair, stuff on my eyes, you know? Semen in my, you know, right here. That's good. You forgot that. Shiny. Shiny. Later, dudes.