E545 Stavros Halkias

33:26You want less drag if you're a swimmer. That's not a big thing. You want those Roy Jones juniors, you know? Dude, why don't they have Roy Jones junior mints? That's a great idea. Roy Jones junior mints. I've been kidding anymore. yep they'll knock out bad breath yeah done and done dude yeah something chocolatey that knocks out bad yeah yeah yeah yeah i love that just a hint of chocolate oh um well so that movie is out now people go check it out yeah please go see please please go see it congratulations man thank you dude and yeah i think it's you know so it's cool to support you know it's obviously my movie i i believe it i believe in a lot but it's like anytime creative people that you like make shit outside of a system.

34:05I think it's kind of important to go support that shit. Yeah, well, it's kind of like a new realm, you know? And also, some movies that are billion-dollar movies are horrible. There was one Ryan Gosling with it. My mom and I went and saw it. It was horrible. Yeah. I went and saw something the other night. It was A Chance in Time or something. Can you look it up for me? We Live in Time. There you go. Well, here's what I don't love about it. Is that bad? I like those actors. It was sweet. It was cute. But every shot was so close on their faces. After a while, you're like, where's all the money they spent on sets?

34:42You can't even see the set. So what starts to happen for me, I notice in movies, is they shoot things so tight nowadays. Right? Like, it's just this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And your brain, there's no, like your imagination, if there's more going on, your imagination has to process things on the screen. Yeah. So your imagination is interested in what's going on. but if there's nothing to even really think about it's so dumbed down everything is this tight you're not you're just kind of like you just start to lose interest because i think there's a part of you that's not working you know yeah yeah it's like when they shoot comedies now it's like they shoot everything so tight and it's just about you don't you don't see people's body language stuff they just i feel like they miss out on a lot of things um just because they think we need it to be so simple yeah well i think that is another thing that i learned about movies which i didn't think about at all is that it is such a visual you think it's about the writing you think it's about your jokes especially being a comic you're like it's all about the writing it's all about the jokes and you don't think about like it's a visual medium it's like a bunch of interesting pictures strung together ultimately is what it is and it was interesting to like like talk to our cinematographer and a scene that i thought was like pretty straightforward just two people talking kind of what you're describing just faces he's like nah let's fucking play it why don't you guys lean on the car why don't we make it a little more interesting and like that was a fucking sick part of it to like yeah i because you don't think about that i just think about the jokes and i just think about my words getting laughs and then it's cool to watch a movie and be like oh you just do something with your face and that's a laugh and you just fucking you run funny and that's a laugh you know what i mean and it's like that was a cool thing again i love comedy so much and i'm just trying to figure out every way to be funny and i think like yeah what you're saying of like making it interesting having the visuals being really interesting that's a huge a huge again it's a cool learning experience and that's what i i don't know if you feel this way but it's like that's the nice thing about oh yeah about like learning you shit is just how can we be funny and like the the time i felt the most engaged in my life was like when i was an open mic or learning how to do comedy yeah and it's cool to get the chance to make a movie and like feel like I don't know dick.

36:55I'm a fucking dumb as shit. Let's figure out how to make all this stuff. I'm a recovering Greek. I'll never kick that. I had a Yido yesterday, bro. I had such a Yido yesterday, dude. I'll never. Sorry, man. I thought you had some time under your belt.

37:15You know, sometimes I put on them nighttime underpants. You know what I'm talking about. because who sleeps naked, baby? A criminal, that's who, not I. Tommy John's, that's what I'm wearing. I like Tommy John's. I like them male negligees they got for you, them underpants, because they smooth. You can feel them and they feel good. God, you can't even believe you're feeling yourself when you got them TJs on, baby, them Tommy John's. God, they feel so good. I want them on right now. I'll put them all over myself. What I love about him is the waistband isn't super tight on him. Some underpants, you get him the waistband so tight.

37:58So I have one sip of water and then I got to go pee-pee. I don't like doing that. Tommy John lets you feel comfortable and casual inside of your own skin. Exclusively for our listeners, you can shop Tommy John's amazing Black Friday sale early right now. Save 30 % off site-wide only at tommyjohn.com slash theo with code theo. That's 30 % off for a limited time. Excuse me. That's 30 % off for a limited time at tommyjohn.com slash theo with code theo. See site for details. They say first impressions are important. What about lasting impressions? That's where Blue Chew comes in, boy. Snack your weight of that wiener, baby.

38:52Blue Chew helps men have longer lasting and stronger erections so you can perform at your very best. Don't you want to have that baby cane on you, you feel me? Blue Chew is an online service that delivers the same active ingredients as Cialis, Levitra, and Viagra. And those aren't urban women's names. Those are other medicines. Does it work? Mm-hmm. I didn't even say that. My wiener did. Blue Chew wants you to have the confidence to perform at your best. So discover your options at bluechew.com. And we've got a special deal for our listeners. Try Blue Chew free when you use our promo code Theo at checkout.

39:44Just pay $5 shipping. That's B-L-U-E-C-H-E-W.com. Promo code Theo to receive your first month free. Visit BlueChew.com for more details and important safety information. And we thank Blue Chew for sponsoring the podcast. You have an annual calendar due, which is pretty crazy. Is that coming out soon? That's out now. It is. That's out now. Yes, the 2025. Oh, it's already out. You can already buy it, the 2025. Look at the calf on this guy. You like that, dude? Look at the kettlebell you're hiding there. It's popping, brother. Yeah. Wow, you got that Rogan head down there. Nuts and calves. That's all I got.

40:24Oh. Nuts and calves. And is this real? Yeah, I'm on fucking Mount Everest right there. That's me. That's some beautiful, some of it's real, some of it is the work of my brilliant producer, Benjamin Buttcheeks, Benny Buttcheeks, Ben O 'Brien, who also directed my special. He helps me with the calendar as well. That's Square Timber, of course. The Get Headsby, that's you right there. Wow. Now, if you zoom in on those, there's a lot of fun in the background. A lot of fun things to see, right? The set, right? It adds to it. Moby Cock. Do you? less jizzables wow oh the different books on their bookshelf a lot of easter eggs in here a lot of easter eggs a lot of easter eggs and then we have halloween right there oh yeah and this is very chelsea lynn you guys she has a calendar as well i yes i saw that she had that i've been i uh i've been doing a nude this was the first thing that was successful in my career before i had anything going on i would i sold a nude calendar when i was like basically a feature I was opening for Bobby Kelly.

41:33And dude, this was the first thing that ever made me money. I've been doing a calendar for legitimately, probably I think nine years. Really? Yeah. Okay. And I used to print, I used to print them myself. I used to sell them out of my fucking Honda civic. And now it's like, and now it makes a shit ton of money, but I would make like a couple, like back in the day, I'd make a couple thousand bucks. And I was like, I'm fucking rich, dude. And the headliner starts to hate you. He tells you, that was always a thing. The headliner and the feature selling stuff. Well, that's why, I mean, Bobby was the man and he knew me and I was like then and he was cool with it and I also would just like I would just fucking sell it on Instagram and like mail it personally to people.

42:11Oh for sure. Like I had no. All that. Just like sell it out of the back of my fucking trunk at like I would be headlining shitty little fucking you know like a restaurant in Frederick, Maryland. Oh it would just be 12 Polaroids of your cock or whatever. And you just wrote a different month on each one. you're like but what if you only had a lemon polaroid it's like january february spring june july august um do you ever audition other men to be in it because i was wondering if there should be more i mean you do a great job right thank you but would there ever be the possibility to creating a something around the idea of getting other men in there interesting a diversity of body types.

42:55Yeah. I don't know. I've never considered. I did think at one point to get to make it like a collaborative calendar where every month there's like a guest that's a different type of person, you know, like maybe men, maybe women, some non-binary motherfuckers, just some different body types. Yeah. Sagittarius, whatever, dude. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Get them all. Barbecue lovers, whatever yeah yeah some yeah for sure some centaurs uh some uh oh yeah half short legs yep yeah long life short legs that is true the taller you are the the quicker you die is it that's what i'm saying timber yeah short people live longer bring them down yeah yeah enjoy all that pussy six six guys yeah must be nice dude now i'm not gonna go into the obesity metrics right now we're just gonna keep it we're just gonna keep it just on height yeah i'm gonna take my winds where i can get them brother this ain't about me dude this is not about me some people say fat some people say foundational that's right yeah a good foundation you're not knocking me over in the wind it would be cool if you got guys on there just get like you could get a lot of union workers sure i'd love to get yeah you're right i should get lay them down put some grapes on their chest yeah yeah yeah absolutely dude grateful and that'll fucking that'll greek out any union worker sure i think they're close i think you show them a little you know any of the most hard edged union worker you show them a little bit of the forbidden fruit of what it can be like to be to be a fat uh you know just you they would trade in a heartbeat oh some rubenesque cement yes yes yes yes yes absolutely that's what we should that's what we should figure out here we should set up a situation where it's like look we got dms coming in yeah we're not going to be able to fuck everybody who wants to fuck us we don't want to fuck everybody who wants to fuck us right what do you mean what are you saying i'm saying both of us i feel like have uh i'm sure you're d i don't check my dms too much i'm with dms coming in i'm saying i'm saying i'll say there's women young ladies that want to you know are attracted to a style of guy older ladies across the board we're not going to fuck all of them we should be able to find in my case rubenesque you know union workers in your case i don't you know i don't know exactly no guys that run rehabs or you know like guys that run rehabs or i don't know i've been offered a couple free 30-day stays i'll tell you that but you know little mullet guys you know what i mean Theo style gentleman.

45:30Neighbors of farmers. Neighbors of farmers. Yeah, they don't do any farming themselves, but they got the same zip code. They got farmland zip code, but they don't own a tractor. Oh, but they'll sit on their porch and look at the other guy's place and be like, oh, look at these soil f**ks over there. You know? So yeah, there's... We should be able to hand them off some of the DMs. That's all I'm saying. I think that would be a nice thing to do. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, like donate a DM to someone. Donate a DM, almost like create love connections, you know? Ooh, I would love to see a dating site if you would put one together.

46:03I'd love to do that. I'd love to host a dating show, actually. That would be awesome. You'd be so good at it. That would be awesome. That could be maybe your next movie. You host a dating show and then you find love somehow. I love that. A little romantic comedy. Yeah, I remember you saying one time about like, one of the reasons that you got on a comedy was for dating, right? A lot of guys do. Without question. Okay. And I think maybe - And is that still a good reason? Do you feel like, like, what's that evolved like a little bit, you know, or to get laid? Like, does that work? You know, and what's the dangers also of having sex in some places, some regions of the country?

46:35The regional dangers of coitus? Yeah. I'm just saying if you're ever in the bus belt, you know, well, you can't let it fly like Adam West used to. I'm definitely using condoms. I'll put it that way. I guess the dangers of the bus, you don't want to get stuck in the bus belt. Yeah. You can have a nice visit, but you don't want to be a father that has to check in court ordered once a month at the bus belt. That's the biggest danger. Especially if it's a layover to get to your child. Yeah. Oh, no, dude. How many children lose out on a father because there's a layover? Right. Because JetBlue doesn't want to fucking fly direct to Akron.

47:12Oh, dude. And we just used Akron in a joke last week. It was just crazy that you did as well. Because we did show in Akron. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We were there at the same. That's why I thought of it. That was fun as shit. That was fun. But yeah, what are the side effects now as you see that? You've been out in the world over there, you know, glazing. Sure, sure, sure, sure, sure, sure. You know, glazing the, you know, different. Literal glazing, not the metaphorical, like sort of pumping somebody up. Yeah, yeah. You mean actually glazing? Yeah, just, yeah, or, you know, whatever they call it. Letting it fly.

47:45Yeah, filling the, you know, doing the manicotti or whatever. Yeah, filling the manicotti up. Yeah.

47:53Yeah. You've been more cream in the cannoli. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Absolutely. I got you, brother. But yeah. And what is it, what does it look like over time? Do you feel like, Oh, cause that gets not good. Not good at all. I mean, that's, that's something I'm facing kind of, I don't know if it's head on. I don't know if I, it's one of those things. There's a couple things remaining in my life that I feel like I need to conquer. And that's long-term health. Like I have, I took a lot of time off and I lost some weight this year. I lost like 45 pounds, but in the month that I've been shooting tires, promoting the movie, doing standup again, fucking I've gained 10 pounds.

48:34You know what I mean? Yeah. Cause you look more organized. Your body does. Thank you. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It was a, it was a mess before it was like, uh, when you go, remember when you just that show where they would open up random storage units. yeah that's kind of what my body was like you never knew once the shirt comes off you don't know what you're gonna get you know what i mean there's a little more now you open up a store junior at least it's got some rusty shelves that all the all the all the stuff is in in little boxes curios yeah okay it's a cabinet of curios there's a little something you know absolutely uh i've been working out and so i still am lifting weights and stuff and i feel better i i literally city biked over here from from queens uh yeah because you're a little wet when you got I had a sweat.

49:15I was fucking city biking, listening to Sexy Red, you know, the In Sexy We Trust. A lot of bangers on that. Nothing like listening to bad bitches when you're working out, in my experience. Because it puts me in that headspace, you know? Of that, like, you know, there's something a little more, there's something a little more you know, sure. She's back. I love She's Back. Honestly, the one about the gentleman being outside, I don't remember which uh i don't remember which one it is it's sort of like uh you know uh an anthem for for the gals to get ready maybe it's outside outside yeah it's basically a song about hey gals uh you know look real hot there's a bunch of sexy gentlemen outside and even though i don't want to fuck the guys yeah i could gender flip that and be like fellas yeah there's whores to be gotten let's fucking put on our nice shirt let's get out there there's opportunity there's opportunity to be gotten yeah because i'll go in the bathroom sometimes at a bar and there'll be guys in there and i'll yell like fucking piss and get back out there yeah boys yeah come on you've been shut you've been shut down three times in a row actually maybe go home and now that i think of it you're kind of fucking the vibes up i just thought about it for a second please leave both the ratio and the vibes are being fucked up by you I'm more like a you pissies ass grant when I'm in there I'll just start telling them get back out there what do you mean what do you mean you coked up you little queer what do you mean there's no way your dick works remember people used to slap people like that I really want to do that once in my life like the three stooges you could be in one of the three stooges absolutely I would love to I would love to do some physical comedy but I would also love to bring one of my friends to his senses when he's having a psychotic break with a nice get yourself together man that would feel awesome yeah yeah get yourself together man the markets are closed yeah and that's all it used to take yeah you didn't have to send someone to a fucking mental institution you slapped them once in a public street simpler times different now did he go home and hit his wife not deal with any of the mental issues probably we can't say we don't know maybe it is better again on second thought there wasn't a lot of accurate reporting right we don't know the numbers do you what was that like taking a year you took a year off stand-up yeah was it a year it was about six months but yeah i didn't tour from february until i had like one date but you still practice or no no i was i didn't i didn't do any stand-up um and it was it was fun the thing that sucks is it was awesome like i felt peaceful i didn't have to travel every fucking week being unemployed yeah it was yeah exactly it felt like that i would i would go on long walks i would fucking go to i would go to like fucking the supermarket and just see what was on it's like what's on special today i had like i've never heard somebody say i'll go on long walks yeah through the soup to the supermarket to the supermarket.

52:22Not through. No, no, no. I'm like, here's this guy who's fucking... I'm pulling up to a fucking Safeway and I'm hitting all the aisles at the grocery store. It's like, oh, what do you mean there's not a mile marker by the graham crackers? The way they have old people walk through malls, they have fat people walk through grocery stores. Like, come on, these are your favorite things, little buddy. You pass the ice cream eight times, you get a lick, you get a fucking thing, a halo top. No, I would fucking walk by the water I was in Baltimore. I would take long ass walks. I would buy like one piece of meat, grill it up, eat it with some veggies.

52:57It was a beautiful, beautiful, simple life. But I also love, that's the other thing is like, and I did stand up. I was like, damn, this is awesome. Yeah. But I think the lesson is to not do three things at once. It's a lot. So I think like next year when I tour, I'm not doing anything else. Like right now I made the mistake of going from nothing to tires, the movie coming out. uh my back to my stand up back to my podcast i'm also i have a tour that i'm announcing i think actually probably if it comes out next week it'll be then but the dream boat tour i'm doing a big all across like on the water i yeah that would be fucking sick i should have done that i should have chartered a sailboat but no it's more of a metaphor metaphorically the dream boat tour.

53:41Can you imagine fucking chartering a sailboat to go to your shows? That would be fucking awesome. They're like, where's Cyrus? He's on the horn. Yeah, the Horn of Africa. He got caught. The gales of November came early and caught him. He's marooned off Vancouver Island. Off the Seychelles. Yeah, he only sold 40 tickets through the Suez Canal. but he's still gotta go he's still gotta go are the greeks the blacks of are some people say some people say that the greeks are the blacks of europe bring up someone

54:31google no people say that all the time i'm serious man

54:41you'll be wandering past an olive shop and you'll you'll hear the door will open and you'll hear somebody are you talking about your internal monologue theo are you talking about every time you see a greek person that's what you think i'm just saying there is a lot of people call them black olives okay that's all i'm saying there's a lot of conversation about black sure sure hey i'll take i'll take that with pride black people are the cool they they're they're making cool they're the culture drivers of america without question filters in some ways i guess that's you know maybe ancient greece what's democracy if not the original hip-hop yeah you know what i mean how everything filtered out from that kind of you know the same way love it when you call me big sorry yeah yeah the same way music's been taking from black people forever everyone's kind of been taking our shit between philosophy democracy from ever.

55:36He's a Pompeo. Pompeo, I believe, was that the Roman Empire? Don't be a hater. Fuck Rome. They took our whole shit. Some people think it's in Greece. So, don't kill our trees. That Louisiana public school system. Cheaper globes. Cheaper globes if they're from 1820. 30 countries.

56:05They mash Europe together. Yeah. So no comment on that, huh? I say I'll take that. Like I said, you know, I had a joke in my special where if you think of it, really, I think Greeks are probably the most light-skinned Arabs. It's really what we have more cultural. We're pretty similar people. Loud, you know what I mean? Like loud, kind of flashy, you know what I mean? but I think people British people loved England or England loved ancient Greece so much that they were like we got to make them white because then white people were you know what I mean like ancient Greece was white when in reality I think we're probably light-skinned Arabs yeah very loud you know touchy-feely you know what I mean like it just it's the same vibe the gold jewel you know I'm wearing jewels yeah you know what I mean yeah for sure yeah warm intense people we're not we're less you know i feel like great what's that like grapes grapes is a very middle eastern food we'll take grapes we'll take grapes dates all that type of shit oh yeah a date's nice and me personally i like i like that kind of that kind of that style of woman as well nice curly hair big nose type of situation yeah anywhere from like you know you go spain to the middle east kind of i met a beautiful greek girl one time in florida oh okay and got popped a couple wiener pills or something.

57:28This is early when the gas stations just had them. Sure, sure, sure. What are we talking about? Stree Overlord? Rhino? This was before Rhino. Wow. This was like I think these were healthy dose or something. Yeah, yeah. Or The Last Captain, I think what it was called. It was like these were hopeful ones, you know. Love it, love it, love it. And I remember I took a couple of them. And then I was like trying to make out this girl and my nose started bleeding. right onto her chest, dude. What a shame. That could have been your wife, dude. She was so cool, too. She's something about a curly-haired woman, dude.

58:07I agree. I actually, my favorite. Yeah, you know they're crazy if their hair had to come out like that. You know? You would have been a great 17th century doctor. Well, you can tell. She's suffering from bouts of insanity. Look at her hair. Look at the wave in her hair. My God. Look at the printout here. she's lying look how far apart her eyes are that's a space for deceit that's the deceit zone right here i guess she's just homeless let's calm down but they look at uh they it's like the um you're a lie detector test yeah yeah yeah what else is it wow the boner pills huh yeah bro i took most of my life because i just had so much anxiety oh dude believe me say i'm lucky that i only caught the tail end of the of the uh gas station era horrible now you can get them online pretty easily but i also want in the in between one time i convinced i had an old italian doctor and i convinced him i had some other i read that like if you have some kind of prostate issue you can also take cialis to like relieve that i I just kind of read it as like, I was doing my research.

59:23Yeah, for sure. And I was like, dude, I think my fucking prostate's fucked up. Acting up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. My prostate's acting up. It's picking up radio stations. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, and he was like, and he had to put his finger on my ass. And he realized the prostate was fine. But then he was like. okay, I give you the cup. but he knew what I wanted, which is also like, why did you have to put your finger up my ass? But I guess he just was hoping I was onto something. And then he was like, listen, I give you this and no more. But he was like, he knew I was just, I was like 20. He had short fingers, wide fingers up.

1:00:02Like, come on. He was fucking awesome. And he just gave me a couple of dick pills and dude, those were like, that was my Holy grail. I had like a sample pack of Cialis and I fucking, oh so when that yeah when those sample cialis and stuff hit the streets they were breaking people's windows to get those i went when i first went to college i went and lived with my buddy's dad he had a viagra prescription right he lived in a one bedroom apartment where the fuck were you living on the couch yeah yeah that's awesome and we would take turns like sleeping on the couch with a bed right and so and there was you and his dad and the reason i did was because he got of boner appeal subscriptions right so you could so i could siphon a little yeah yeah yeah but he only got like eight of them and i'm like fuck it's so hard to steal out of eight because you can kind of like the third day you can pull one you're like oh he got drunk he took two you know but then you have to cut one directly in half like well how did one yeah just get just taken in half yeah you got to take it in half you got to make that last oh yeah and then but that's a fun that's a fun kind of Passover parable.

1:01:11It was horrible. Making the one dick pill last 12 days. Just nibbling on it just a little bit. We had one can of oil and we made it last for 64 days. Yeah, yeah, yeah. One dick pill. 100 milligram Viagra. We made it last for 12 weeks. We each took one lick of it. Me and my friend's dad. Shabbat shalom. Shabbat shalom. How long were you living with your friend's father? Six months, one semester of school. God. How were you crazed that semester? Here's the crazy part, we had a wall, there was like a half wall, there was a loft, the bedroom was a loft and there was a living room. It was a nice building, they did have a pool at the building, that was pretty cool.

1:01:57And I was learning to play guitar at the time and so I would go in there, he'd have some, every now and then he'd have a chick stare over and I'd go in there and play. Love that. Teas and healing. The song about Eric Clapton's son dying. That's what it's about. Yeah. That's the song you would play while the guy was getting pussy. It's about his fucking son falling out of a window. What? Yeah. No way. How old was his son? Was he in the military? No, he was like a little ass kid, dude. It's a tragic song. Oh, dude. Sorry. Sorry, Eric. Is that what happens to the live? He's alive, yeah. Oh, man. So your friend's dad, who's giving you shelter, is getting pussy with one of his eight Viagras.

1:02:47And he has to battle that Viagra's up against that old man's LED. And the saddest song, one of the saddest songs of the 90s. A poor rendition, by the way. There's no way you were good at it. You're butchering it, and it's sad as shit. If I saw you knew. Bink, bink. Oh, sorry, sorry. Bink, bink, bink. Bink, bink. Oh, so my bad. Bink, bink, bink, bink, bink. What you know? My name. Dude, but I would go in there and one time after a couple, they would request me to come back in. Wow. You were the fucking, you were the music for them fucking. Usually post-coital they would bring me in. Post-coital.

1:03:29And I also then eventually played Every Rose Has Its Thorn. I rocked that form a little bit. And I did eventually a widespread panic. Okay, nice. Yeah, that's good, man. So that was just the three songs spread. Yeah, fucking rattle that up. Very poor rendition. A lot of hand beating on the fucking... Sure, bonk, bonk, bonk. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Try and dress it up. You can barely play guitar. Nibble on a Viagra to keep me going. Yeah, like a mouse with a little piece of cheese. And that dude was hammering, dude. And I was having so much sexual issues and shit. He'd be in there just fucking. I almost have a decent of cinnamon there.

1:04:09I'd be like, just go up the hill, man. Come on. Climb up his bunk bed. Climb up the top bunk. Turn around. That's a very interesting living room. It was crazy, dude. Roommate dynamic. And we had an eclipse. His son had an eclipse because this dude was struggling. His son had an eclipse. Yeah. Mitsubishi Eclipse, but it wouldn't turn off, right? You couldn't turn it off. So you had to just - Siphon gas? No, you just had to keep putting gas. So we'd keep like - Hold on, hold on. It never turned off. You could, but you'd have to, fuck it. It was so hard to get back on. So we would just, we'd keep like extra cans of gas at the fucking parking space.

1:04:48We had an underground parking space. Yeah, that was it, but it was a green one. That's a nice car, man. I remember the Eclipse. It was a green one, and it had good rims on it too. if they have that oh not that green that is very more of a sea foam yeah i would go with that one to the right of the of the horizontal one of the vertical one left left right there nice something like that yeah dude oh yeah not as nice as that but yeah we get the idea yeah but that bitch uh we would keep a couple cans of gas because it got great mileage you could fucking keep it going. I don't know how good the mileage is if you have to keep the gas just to keep it running.

1:05:29I would drive that bitch over. I went to Loyola University. I'd drive that bitch. Loyola where? There's one in New Orleans? In New Orleans, yeah. And since you kept it running, people didn't, you could park in a weird spot and be like, oh, the guy's just coming and going. And how long would it be there idling? Fucking two hours. I'd fucking be in class. I'd be in class, dude. but it was kind of nice right when you got to it got right in sure sure sure you don't have the fucking that hassle of doing this turning your fucking forefinger one inch but it was a flex to the lady like damn that guy's a chauffeur keep it running like it's him it's you from the past but that's my chauffeur sorry guys my ride's here no one stole it huh No.

1:06:22They respected the eclipse. I guess. I mean, sometimes I would put the flashers on. I think it's like, there's a lot of reverse psychology there, you know? It's a lot of General Sherman. Hiding in plain sight. Yeah, very much. Yep, yep, yep. Very much of the Ongonquins, how they behaved. I love the idea. And how old was that guy at the time? Is that depressing to think about? Probably 52. Okay. Handsome, pretty good at tennis. Handsome. He could wear short shorts. Love that. He's a foundational guy. Foundational. Plus size guy? Middle size. Middle size. Mid-size. Yeah. Love that. I see. I love to drink.

1:06:56He's a vodka, orange juice guy in the morning, even. Morning drinker. And I guess a divorced man. Yeah. If he was hammered. I lived with his family before that. Before? Well, through the divorce? Yeah. And then he got you in the divorce? He's like, how the fuck did I end up with my son's adult friend in the divorce? This bitch got the house. I got Theo playing fucking Tears of Heaven while I'm trying to keep a heart on.

1:07:25Meanwhile, you can barely hear the song because there's a Mitsubishi eclipse riding outside the window. The fumes are coming up through the underground garage. You have fucking poison. You have CO2 poisoning.

1:07:41Oh, man, dude. That's fucking awesome. That's crazy, dude. Was that your weirdest? That was probably one of my craziest living situations, but I always lived for cheap, man. I slept in my buddy's bed for probably seven months out in Los Angeles when I first got out there. I lived in this little cupboard that was in a living room. They had like these two cupboard doors and it was like four, three feet high, four feet wide. Just the bed? No, there was no bed in there. It was just a floor, right? But it was long and it was like probably eight feet deep. So it was perfect. Like I'm going to bed, boom, get in there.

1:08:15Like a bird, little bird house or whatever. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And sometimes I come out right on the hour, you know? Right, right, right. Boo, boo, boo, boo. But I was always sharing, dude. I slept on my buddy's floor for$150 in college in a sleeping bag. And I'd fucking yell at him and complain about shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But he needed the money. It's so fucking funny. I did this day. I similarly, I convinced my friends to give me a shitty room in their house in Baltimore. I lived for 300 bucks a month. I had a room. They were just like, I was literally living on the, my go-to meal was beans and eggs.

1:08:52Oh, yeah. I would bake them and put them on one sheet. And that way I could just use the sheet as my plate. I wouldn't have to do dishes. I just, after I'm done eating the beans and eggs. Into the washing machine. Yeah. Directly into the washing machine with the condoms from the 18th century. Yeah. And hanging off the fucking clothesline. don't mind if I please hang them let the neighbors see they were fully operational no one eighth of a Viagra needed this episode is brought to you by better help better help when your mental health is unsure you know what it's like ever been driving a car and one of the tires is shaking well sometimes that kind of stuff is happening in your brain or in your emotions or in your attitude.

1:09:44Just notice when you got that, when you got a bad wheel on your carriage, baby, on your brain carriage, when you got that baby wheel on there and that thing's shaking, buddy, rattling, leaves your whole brain a rattling. If your brain or your feelings or how you're operating in your world are uncomfortable or they're not keeping your ride smooth, well, BetterHelp can help. If you're thinking of starting therapy, give BetterHelp a try. It's entirely online. It's designed to be convenient, flexible, and suited to your schedule. Just fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a licensed therapist and switch therapists at any time for no additional charge.

1:10:25Let the gratitude flow with BetterHelp. Visit BetterHelp.com slash Theo today to get 10 % off your first month. that's better help.com slashth e o there are some things in life that are okay to be a total crapshoot like trying a new type of milk in your coffee or maybe trying a pasta sauce that you're not familiar with but finding the right doctor shouldn't be a total crapshoot and with zoc doc It's not because you've got more options than you know. ZocDoc, that's what I want to tell you about. It's a free app and website where you can search and compare high quality in-network doctors. Choose the right one for your needs and click to instantly book an appointment.

1:11:21We're talking about in-network appointments with more than 100 ,000 healthcare providers across every specialty, from mental health to dental health, eye care to skin care, and much more. Plus, ZocDoc appointments happen fast, typically within just 24 to 72 hours of booking. You can even score same-day appointments. Hooray, ZocDoc. I hate waiting for appointments, man, and I've used ZocDoc, and it's helpful. So you should stop putting off your doctor's appointments and go to ZocDoc.com slash T-H-E-O to find and instantly book a top-rated doctor today. That's Z-O-C-D-O-C.com slash T-H-E-O. ZocDoc.com slash T-H-E-O.

1:12:15What did I see in the news? Oh, I saw, did you see that Mark Wahlberg restaurant? Wahlbergers? It burned down though. He had a new restaurant. A fancy one? Let me see. Mark Wahlberg's new restaurant in Las Vegas burns down opening day. Opening day? Wow. Mark Wahlberg was excited about today because he's supposed to open up his new restaurant, Fletcher Cantina. Fletcher. It was going up in flames just hours ago. Check this out. This is Town Square, and it's obviously fully involved with fire here. And we have gotten a ton of emails to this station inviting the cameras out because Mark Wahlberg was going to be there around 430 this afternoon.

1:12:50Oh, no. Oh, no. You can see the flames inside. They were going to get the oversized scissors out and welcome everyone in for the grand opening. Oh, no. So obviously that's not happening today. Wow, the defrauded, dude. You think that's just a plate of fajitas that was sizzling too much? You think that got a little out of control? That's a great point. Do we know it's not just a really intense fajita? It is Fletcher Cantina, after all. Go back and show that window right there. That does look. Yeah. And they spray that flavor on it, smoke or whatever. Like Greece, we have a... Yeah, that could be...

1:13:31Maybe a flambe. We do a saganaki, Greek people, the cheese you set on fire. Oh, yeah. A lot of different stuff it could be. I don't think we should draw conclusions right away. Yeah, dude, that's crazy. I thought it was a burger shop he was doing, but that's wild. They're going Mexican now. Fletcher. Yeah. It doesn't sound... I got to be honest, it does not sound appealing. Fletcher. It sounds too much like flesh. Fletcher. Yeah, I hear just a regular person like, I'm going to Fletcher. Fletcher Cantina? No, thanks. Yeah, it's kind of bizarre. Cantina I'm okay with. He's done some interesting things.

1:14:02You know, he had an alcohol, but then he said he didn't drink, and then he came out with a tequila, which I thought was kind of wild. Interesting, interesting. What do you think that's about? I don't know. I think it was just when celebrities were coming out with tequilas. It was purely a business move. Yeah, like when George Clooney came out with one. Sure. One time I was in Toronto. I'm sitting there. It's like probably 1230 or something a.m. I'm just sitting on my computer in the lobby, dude. Hoping to meet my wife or whatever. You're in the lobby at 1230 on your computer. Desperate for attention.

1:14:29Probably. I don't know. That's fucking awesome. I can't remember why. After a show, you're just there. I think I was doing shows, yeah. Gotcha. I was just hanging out. Because, yeah, it's funny. After shows, you don't want to go to bars and shit. Yeah, it's like you go to a bar, you're going to see a lot of people in the show. Sometimes it can be overwhelming. Definitely. And then if I don't drink, it's hard to be there. So it's like there's nowhere you usually go. Sure. No, that's true. restaurants are closed usually yep so then you can go to like a gas station sometimes ice cream or your hotel sure but i'm sitting there and i feel something on my neck right here and it's fucking mark walberg dude pretending to have a gun yeah he's like caught you slipping you know or however you know failed the the keep it on your channel or caught lacking challenge yeah yes you failed the caught lacking challenge it was like mark walberg i was like look at this fucking boondock saint out here.

1:15:21Was he in that movie? He was not. Oh, damn. No one of the jokes didn't land. But he does embody the spirit of the boondock saints. He thought he was in it. He thought he was in it. But I said that and then he invited me the next day to his tequila opening. He was actually really nice. He had a nice group of friends. Really chill. He seems nice, but it's also like that level of fame where people start to go insane in a polite way. It doesn't seem sinister, but it's insane to wake up at three in the morning to work out yeah and play golf and like it's just crazy and like 3 15 yeah go to 3 15 wake up pray for one hour i mean i know you know whatever this i don't know if you yeah 2 30 i mean that's not a time to wake up 2 30 a.m wake up 2 45 a.m crypto prayer yeah 3 15 breakfast 3 40 to 5 15 workout that's a long workout that's a lot post-workout meal only two hours after breakfast that's wild shower he gets an hour and a half for shower that can't be real right hey dude i have definitely taking some sad showers yeah but that's not when you're fucking when you when you're a regimented like planning an hour and a half shower you don't plan hour and a half showers you're so fucked up that you take an hour and a half shower i've taken some of those too theo i'm not judging but that's when i'm hung over as fuck and i'm like should i just fucking do drugs at 7 a.m like that's like that you're spending 45 minutes convincing yourself not to take pills yeah that's what those long showers are man they're not thinking about the lord and my fucking bicep girls i'm so high i should go in the shower yeah yeah yeah maybe if i'm in the shower i won't purchase a prostitute that's what that Maybe if my hands are wet, I can't fucking use my phone.

1:17:14So I won't fucking buy pussy and hate myself the second I nut. That's what that shower is about. That shower is not reflecting on your 3.15 a.m. breakfast. And look, we're cross-promoting our own lives here with yours, Mark. Yeah, yeah. We're not talking about Mark Wahlberg. This is from the hearts. We're putting a little of the personal into this riff. yeah yeah but yeah it's just gotta be but you open a restaurant dude opening day and that thing cooked yeah that's crazy but that you know i think um i'm trying to think anything good burnt down by us when i was growing up oh any good fires i don't know if we had i only have hate crimes in my neighborhood which are not fun to talk about just idiots that didn't understand that indian people weren't like after 9-11 some fucking idiot in baltimore person get Yeah.

1:18:10They just burnt, just a guy, a Sikh guy who wore a turban. He's like, he's Osama bin Laden. So I'm going to fucking burn down his fucking mini Mart. You're like, that's fucking, that guy's a librarian. Yeah. That guy runs a seven 11, the library in the middle of it. Yeah. Literally. He was like a fucking nice guy. I just went to a nice Indian restaurant here the other day called bungalow. Nice. I love that. I like a nice Indian. Yeah, there it is. This indie. Oh, uh vic vicas vicas is the chef there vicas dude he let us sit at the chef's table they put a little table i love that right by the kitchen it was it's fancy but it's not crazy fancy um i gotta get this guy on the podcast it was just fascinating to like uh eat indian food learn like just about some of the energy and why they have certain things it was that looks awesome i'll check it out ton of indian people and he said a lot of indian people don't go out to dinner because a lot of them cook at home yeah and they always want they always believe their cooking is better than other places.

1:19:09I get that. I understand that. I mean, I do not believe that at my place. Well, what's your, the traditional, uh, smoothie. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. A Slim Jim quesadilla. That's what you grew up on. And nobody can make these better than my mom. Owl meat fried rice. A little bit of squab in there. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. holidays yeah yeah maybe a nice maybe a nice possum rib roast yeah a little bit of pigeon we call it huh a little bit of fucking uh sidewalk oysters you know what i'm talking about um what were we just talking about uh the indian people will not go out to eat right but that restaurant was really great man went there that was kind of cool i love that i went i was in england i was in london and i had indian food and it was so incredible yeah they're there yeah well you know that's the one upside to the fucking the british empire it's like if they brought indian food along if they fucked up india the least i can do is go enjoy a nice meal yeah as a result you know they're there either way yeah so but it was good as fuck it was uh you'd be a good indian i think thank you man yeah thank you i appreciate that 100 man yeah yeah i've got some buddha qualities i just think um Um, yeah, they would herald you.

1:20:32Well, they do respect the cow. So I have a bull kind of like a bull. Yeah, I think they would just. Yes, I've kind of like a bull. You could like an Indian sumo wrestler. I would love that. Yeah, we can start one of your another movies. It's like you go to India to be the first Indian sumo. Put you in some semi off brown face. Yeah. I don't know about that. I don't know. Yeah. Maybe I'll just get a nice tan. Huh? I can get pretty crispy, dude. Can you? Greek Mediterranean blood. Maybe that's it. Maybe that's what happens. I get such a tan that someone mistakes me for an Indian. Signs you up. Signs me up to be the first Indian sumo wrestler.

1:21:07And there we go. India's first female sumo wrestler defying odds and empowering women. Hetal Dave is her name. Shout out to Hetal. Hetal Dave's journey in sumo wrestling is not just about personal triumph. It's about rewriting what's possible for women in India. Love that. Push them around, Hetal. Love interest? Yeah, I could smash an Indian sumo wrestling woman. No problem. That's love, dude. That's love, absolutely. I can't really tell. I'm going to say yes. I'm going to give it a hesitant yes from that picture that I would smash. I mean, for the movie, that she could be your last. Yeah, and I'm saying, you know, I want to do it for real.

1:21:44Let's see what happens, huh? Yeah, let's see what kind of sparks fly on set. Yeah, dude. That's all it is, dude. You think of romance maybe is possible between you and Spade? Maybe you guys just have like a become gay later in life. No, there's a gay. There's, I think Tim Dillon might be in it. Okay. Small part. Who do you think sucks who off then? Not it.

1:22:10TBD, bro. To be David.

1:22:19TBD to be Dave.

1:22:23so we'll see what god wants out of those guys yeah um yeah i could see tim doing that what about what about the election over there happened man did people go crazy out here in new york do you feel any of that energy i where was i i just felt so glad that i was filming um i don't know taping yeah we were taping we're doing tires you're in tires right um how exciting is that too tires fucking rules yeah i mean what's it like between second season and the first season over Is the set different? Set's not different. Same. But we, yeah, we're in the same spot. And I think it's going to be fucking great.

1:22:58I mean, the first season, I didn't even know. When I agreed to do it, I thought it was going on YouTube. It was like Shane texted me. There was no agents involved. There was nothing. He was like, hey, we're doing this thing. They didn't have scripts. We were kind of writing shit as we were going. I was supposed to have a small part. And we just had so much fun doing it. They kept adding. It was so fun. and we felt like we were just making a fun web series. You know what I mean? Like, because I loved, Gillian Keeves was so fucking funny. Their sketches were so good. And I almost was in one and then it like fell through.

1:23:28And so I just wanted a chance to work with those guys. So when Shane hit me up, I was like, I don't need to know shit. Let's just fucking do it. And it's insane that this thing that we did in, honestly, dude, we did it in a few weeks. And then we did like a couple days of reshoots and it was a fucking show that was top 10 on Netflix for like two weeks. It's insane. My mom liked it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And so, and so I think, I mean, we've been shooting from, I think we started in October and we end in the middle of December. And so it's, you know, much more time. They actually had a real writer's room.

1:24:03They went over the scripts. We have, I don't want to, you know, I'm the least important. I don't want to give away too much, but there's like a bunch of cool actors in it. You play the brother, right? I play, I'm basically like they're, I'm basically like. Or the dad, the other manager? No, no, I'm the guy who's not in the family, basically. I'm the guy who's like, it's like a family tire shop, and I'm like the kind of middle manager GM who's just kind of in the middle of it. You can't tell if I'm good at my job or not. Oh, yeah, yeah. I'm just kind of a pig. Again, pretty hard role. A horny idiot.

1:24:34It was really hard for me to get into the character. But it's going to be fucking good, man. I mean, and those guys are great. I mean. Is it shot on sticks or is it shot like The Office? I've seen it. It's just been probably four months. Both. I mean, it depends. But it's mostly, I would say it's mostly handheld. They have some, you know, steady shots. But no, it's, we have, the whole crew is fucking awesome. Oh, it's so much fun. And that girl in it is so good. Kyla crushes it. Well, that's what's awesome about like, you got to love Shane because he legit brought his friends along. Yeah. In like a very Sandler way.

1:25:10But the second he could, like Steve Gerben, who is, you know. So good. He's the man. He's the lead. but it's like they did open mics together. You know what I mean? Like that whole crew, Kyle, the same thing. And McKeever who directs it is so fucking good. He's such a great director. Shane's a great actor. And it's, it's awesome. It's just great to see that kind of shit. And that's funny shit. And it's again, and people saying queers, people fixing tires. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, he's country was founded. Right, right, right, right, right. Misogynist fixing tires. Yes. Yes, you're going to have to deal with a little bit of misogyny, but we're going to get you back out on the road.

1:25:48Yeah, it's like, you want the chassis tightened up or not? That's been the story of our history. But yeah, I mean, if you're setting us some shit in a tire shop, that's how those motherfuckers behave. You know what I mean? Like, you got to be realistic about it. Do you think there's like a trans male swimmer in there or something? Yeah, ooh, that would be interesting. We need these better tires. Yeah, that would be good. These tires ain't tiring enough. On the way to the, maybe on the way to the meet. Yeah. You know what I mean? Bring them in, get the fellas. Ooh, Reginald has a magic tire. Yeah.

1:26:24You're like, what the fuck is happening? No. You need a fucking, all people want is just art to reflect life, man. Yeah. Let's be realistic. And if your thing is set in a tire shop, that's how those guys have to behave. Yeah. I'll watch the trans swimmer show. Yeah. That's fun. and they can go do, you know, they can fucking talk the way they actually talk. And if you have tired guys, talk the way they talk. That's what you just need. I think that's people just want the reality of stuff. Yeah. Yeah. I agree. And those guys are funny as shit. My dad's a contractor. Those guys are hilarious. Growing up around these fucking morons.

1:27:01They're stupid as shit. And they rag on each other so much. Oh, yeah. It's fucking awesome. It's great. And the office was sent in an office. And yeah, you can't really say wild shit in an office. So it can be a little bit more mainstream. But if you're going to do some shit in a family owned tire shop, it's like anything goes there. We're talking. Yeah, that is the wild west. Yeah, absolutely. A family owned like. That's the Gaza Strip of fucking humanity. There's no oversight. Yeah. There's no oversight. No matter what, no matter how many reports the UN writes, you're not stopping that. You're not stopping the fucking family-owned tire shop from saying racist shit.

1:27:40You just can't do it. That's how it goes. Same thing with diners. I mean, you can't. Don't let a teenager work in a Greek diner, okay? Just don't do it. Don't let the hostess work for some guy. The evil variant of me from a different universe that has same hair, open black polo, you know what I mean? you don't want him fucking you don't want him sexually harassing the hostess you know what i mean no well i just as long as the guy who's making my food has has a like a thing of toilet paper stuffed up one of his nostrils i don't give a fuck as long as one of the line cooks is going through active withdrawals hey you want your egg scrambled yeah just by his hand just holding there with a spatula greek restaurant same thing look there might be some chest hair on your lamb chops but it's going to be the best lamb chop you've ever had in your life.

1:28:36You really want to get the fucking food safety people involved in this? You want a bland, hairless lamb chop? Be my guest. God, lamb, huh? The pussy of beef. I agree. Gamey. It really is kind of. It's good as fuck. You're like, what part of the lamb is this? This is good, dude. Oh, I love a nice fucking lamb chop. How does it feel? you're kind of you've become a staple of your favorite football team how does that kind of feel that we're that's awesome i love the ravens it's fucking sick uh and i have a show i have a show at the lyric uh which is i did it last year i did a bunch of shows this year i'm doing a couple for the holidays it's fucking nuts to go to your fate the team you grew up rooting for and it's like they fucking put me on the jumbotron dude you get a big pop i got to fucking yeah you get to i got to meet players i get to meet this guy what player is that's real fan dan oh okay who is uh yeah oh he does the r-a-v-e-n-e-s dance he gets to go he gets it going he's got some yeah yeah yeah yeah i would yeah the chaperone version chapel raven dude chapel raven that's me dude and yeah they put this on the ravens instagram account the official ravens instagram account let me put on fucking a helmet yeah you gotta rip a dart on there next time they wouldn't let me they wouldn't let me uh mention guns or suboxone yeah which is crazy also suboxone wilson is a player there too which is great on the edge great on the edge not allowed dude bro the saints have um the saint that someone keeps tweeting about the pope keeps accidentally tweeting about the New Orleans Saints.

1:30:24Can you see where you can find that? That's fucking awesome. Are you an LSU guy? Are you a Saints guy? I'm a Saints guy, but they've been under-delivering for the past few years. And that's been... Pope Francis keeps accidentally tweeting about the New Orleans Saints. So that's where we are. The hashtag Saints are formed by the Beatitudes. Poor, meek, merciful, hungering, and thirsting for justice, seeking peace. Okay, yeah. So they had some issues with the refs. Yeah. Yeah, I think the post went up before the Saints lost to the lowly Carolina Panthers, marking their seventh favorite team. God is not on your side.

1:31:01They took it out, but in the actual tweet, it was showing the Saints logo every time he hashtagged Saints.

1:31:11Wow. Thank you for your prayers, Ponce, if we need them.

1:31:17What? Interesting. But that, now does that prove, there it is, does that prove that the Catholic God is not real? Because a tweet from Pope Francis doesn't even get you to beat the fucking Panthers. That's a good point. I'd like to see, you know, a Muslim guy tweet about you. I'd like to see, this is a good way to see who wins. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is how we can tell who's right. Yeah. Each religion tweets about New Orleans Saints. Tweeters, start your fingers. And they rattle off. And they rattle off. And you see who really gets. Is it Islam? Is it Judaism? Buddhism. Each week they all get a shot.

1:31:49They all get a shot. Wiccan. Catholicism. Wiccan. Yeah. Get some fucking fat bitches with black lipstick to put a curse on your opponent. Tear out a raven's heart. Oh, dude. One time I was walking on the beach in like Destin, Florida at night and we were like, we were kids and we got to go to the beach. And I met this girl out there, pretty Ruben-esque girl. Love that. And so she's like, I want you to hold me in the water or whatever. And it was like, I'd hidden like a bottle of wine that I told him someone in the sand earlier in the day. So I'm out there literally digging in the fucking sand by myself under like probably pretty decent moonlight.

1:32:26Right. Sure. Sure. Fucking digging in there. And like I'm one of those like like watching the Grunion run or whatever. Like I'm a pregnant turtle trying to see how many of your babies make it to see. Literally, I'm just looking for a bottle of Zinfandel putting my hand in. and then she came up and we had a couple sips out of where we're talking and stuff. And she's like, I want you to hold me in the water. So then we're out in the fucking water, dude. Love that. Kissing. It was fucking ridiculous. Was she any Wiccan? Yeah, and she was Wiccan. Yeah. Interesting. That's what I was about to say. Interesting.

1:32:55Did she do any chants or enchantments to you? No, she just said some stuff. She didn't believe in this and that and she was Wiccan. Interesting. And that she had to be pregnant by a certain time or whatever. And you didn't oblige. You're like, I'm out. You want this white tail or not? I was like, this Zinfandel is got to fucking go, Zinfandel. Did you encounter any like, because I think about like New Orleans, they have some spooky shit, any witches, any like voodoo shit? Did you ever encounter any of that stuff? I stole money one time off of an altar there. Oh, no. And my life was bad for like seven months.

1:33:36Swear to God. I believe you, dude. Here's the crazy part. I sold the money and then used the money to buy peanut butter M &M's, right?

1:33:46Hexed for peanut butter M &M's. And so that was horrible. And I finally, and I was on the road for a while. And then I finally got back home and I put them, I went and put twice as much money back. And it was all good after that? When we grew up, there was a lot of prot, like there was like snake fucking Protestants, you know? Sure, sure, sure, sure, sure. Now, hold on. What kind of altar and where was this altar? This was in the French Quarter, like on the edge of the French Quarter. gotcha and it was just kind of out there yeah they just had a thing put together and it's interesting how many different that because greek people have like when somebody that we have like the kind of like a little altar for like your past loved ones and if you think about it it is even though we're greek orthodox that's so clearly like a a pagan ritual you put a little altar for the for the deceased that's not in like christianity anywhere it's just you know but i wonder well i wonder if we should spend more time communicating with the deceased you know like Like, helping relieve, you know, or is there anything that they need to tell us?

1:34:39It's like, we're just, like, fucking beat, you know. Like, once they clock out, we're like, you are off the fucking. Yeah. We're going to Mangiano's. Yeah. Having some pasta in your memory, and that's it. Yeah. They just, like, because the Mexicans do that every year. Yeah, that's true. You know, they let all the, you know. Let them out for one last fiesta. Yeah. Like, on MS 31st or whatever. Halloween night, they let all of, like, their family members come back, you know. You ever see Coco? The movie about that? Yeah, I think Joey Diaz is. Oh, no, that's something. Joey Diaz is in Coco. I thought he was in it.

1:35:15That's awesome. Fucking tremendous, kid. You got to deal with your generational trauma, you cocksucker.

1:35:22Stop depending on your grandfather to turn your life around. That's awesome. I think I did try to watch this on a plane or whatever. This legitimately destroyed me when I saw it. what happened was so me and my brothers um we had a tradition where we would uh take some kind of hallucinogenic whatever big like uh hollywood release was out that you know like a big fun action movie or like like star the first the first time we did it was the new star wars prequels where it was like we didn't give a fuck about star wars that much but yeah take some fucking acid you watch star wars oh yeah it's gonna be fucking awesome so we would do that on Christmas or around Christmas.

1:36:00You'll sore fight your stepfather. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You really, you really will actually. It did cause some issues. Surprise attack with a catalytic converter out there. So we did that. And then one year we were going to, it was Aquaman was coming out. Oh yeah. Forgot to buy fucking tickets ahead of time. Thought for sure there's no way, you know, Aquaman's going to be sold out. And then we forget. So it's sold out. We get there. I'm already on acid. Oh my God. And we're like, all right, let's just get back to the house ASAP. We're all fucking on acid. We didn't have, we couldn't. So then my brother's like, um, Coco is pretty like colorful.

1:36:38This could be fun. Dude. It's a story all about family. Like my best friend's mom had just died. We were like, it's a story all about like family. And dude, I'm just tripping my nuts off. Just sobbing and being like, dude, I thought I was going to watch Jason Momoa fight a fucking punch a fish in the head and now I'm thinking about my dead grandparents and if they're proud of me or not it was so fucked up dude and then my brother I was like sobbing so much afterwards my brother was like alright man and he just put on Thor Ragnarok for me to just fucking calm down like I was a fucking baby here's your fucking dumb movie cause I would watch that on acid a bunch that was a fun thing i would do sometimes he puts on wendy weatherfoot on youtube yeah he puts on softcore pornography with huge titted women's like here you go buddy your favorite stuff wendy weatherfoot is a children's oh no sorry i was just thinking i don't know what wendy weatherfoot is i was just going into stuff i liked yeah wendy weatherfoot is a nature-based animation series on youtube if you like children in nature you might like it right that would have been a better thing to calm me down yeah but yeah it was fucked up how much cocoa on acid when i was not emotionally ready to deal with it how fucking destroyed me dude destroyed me but you know acid is just such a wild thing that they make yeah because first you're like you're telling me this little bitty square of paper this is gonna do shit is gonna remodel the way I experience the world.

1:38:19Completely fuck my brain up. Is going to make me hide behind the car in your yard and cry about how your parents met each other? I don't know, guys. Same thing. The last one we did was Avatar. And I literally was fucking crying at that, too. But that was more like the movie was affecting me. I was like, oh, fuck, dude. The fucking little guy's going to die. I was fucking crying. And like moments before I was laughing at what a stupid movie it was. And then they kill a character. I'm like, oh, he's fucking dead, bro. My brothers were just laughing at me. They weren't as fucked up as I was. And it's just the attendant is just shining a flashlight right in your eyes.

1:39:03You give him your license. That's when you're fucked up at the movies. Yeah. You give him your license. You hand the guy your driver's license. The guy just shining a light on you. Dude, I've been watching all those, like, around the holidays, I'll start watching a lot of those military people come home videos. Oh, that'll fucking do it to you for sure. Surprised at the school? While we look for that one more time, I was on acid at the movies. I was, the people in the theater thought I was a special need, because I was like - And what was it? What gave it, or what gave them the impression? I was again on, I was actually on mushrooms and acid at the time.

1:39:41And it was a packed one. And you know, you're familiar with Babu Frick. He's a little Star Wars guy. He's a little Star Wars Muppet. Okay. And every time Babu Frick would come on, I would be like, yeah, I would be so happy. Oh, you loved him? Because I was so on acid. I was so, that I kind of returned to being a fucking baby. Oh, yeah. And so he was just a cute little Muppet guy. And every time he'd come on, I'd be like, yeah, Babu Frick. Babu Frick. I couldn't stop laughing. and people were mad and they looked at me and then i saw i saw them be like like their faces softened because they go this guy's special needs there's like there's no way they thought i was like some teenager they just looked around it's like there's no way a man this old and fat is not special needs if he's reacting to babu freak this way and then and they looked at my brother my brother was like sorry and they were like oh no it's fine dude i uh i don't even know what to say now some memorable acid you're not an acid on me and my buddy well i've told this story recently it's just one that i remember but we uh we went to the waffl house in our town right and we got there like 4 30 in the morning and there was a gay um or there was a homosexual urban male in there waiter we'd never seen a gay black guy right wow how old were you we were probably 14.

1:41:09okay that's big yeah it was big dude we're very excited that's some of the funnest but we're that's one of the funnest type of guys in the world oh we're so high yeah and we're so we're so high that all we can do is fucking laugh on hallucinogenics or yeah we're taking some lsd cool and so we went there because it was open it's the only place that had lights out where you could be somewhere and be young and not have to as long as you were buying food you had a yes Legal reason to be there. Yes, yes, yes. I'm legally here for breakfast, right? Yes, yes, yes. Well, we started laughing so hard. Your honor, may I use the hash browns defense?

1:41:41I'd like to enter the hash browns defense. Sorry, go ahead. No, it's... So you guys are fucked up? Oh, and we're so fucked up, my buddy starts laughing so hard and starts fucking choking. He's laughing so hard. The guy, the widow starts giving him the fucking... Heimlich? Heimlich maneuver, dude. So there's a... Bro, I laughed. Awesome. I fuck my that's I mean that would destroy me my body was coming out of my fucking body yeah I was doing like this I was like and my buddy's just getting fucking remodeled by this breakfast brother dude just fucking reshaping him bro smothered him fucking and what style of gay guy are we talking does he have like eyeliner on small but strong small but strong yeah small but strong like um just posture and the way he talks what do you mean what was your shift with his words had flair on oh but didn't need to have it right right that's not mandated like he had so much on you almost thought he was like one of those people that blows up the balloons or whatever yeah yeah he's selling them he's like he's like yeah blow up some breakfast yeah he's being fun yeah he's being fun great attitude great guy great attitude saved your friend's life yeah I went to SNL the other night, too.

1:42:54That was pretty cool. Oh, hell yeah. Went to Saubur. Fuck yes, dude. That was awesome. It was cool just to be there. You ever been there? I've never been there, no. I want to go. And I have, I mean, I have friends who are on the show now. And, like, it would be cool to go. But I just, you know, always traveling. Never here. Saturday. It's a hard night to be. They'll probably ask you to do it this year, I bet. No. I don't think so. I'd love to. Would you? I would absolutely love to. Yeah. I mean, I don't want to fuck. You know, it seems like. because I have friends who are on the show and it's like seems like a hard job.

1:43:22That's the thing. As much as stressful as it is to like have to put out shit constantly and be touring like you're still your own boss. I can't imagine as that's a great you know that's a huge comedy show that people still watch but you're somebody's fucking employee. Yeah. I can't imagine doing that anymore dude. Even if it's a cool fucking job just being worried about my performance at work. I can't do that shit dude. That's fucking crazy. but I would love to it's a dream to host it that's why I say like I work for myself and I'm a hard person to work for yeah absolutely I'm my own boss and my boss is a fucking idiot and my boss is an asshole my boss is an asshole he's a closet and homosexual as well hey that's a lie okay if I saw you in Houston if your name is mark and we hooked up in houston hold on guys let me start over you can't help it the dad just

1:44:29god that was so but i had to play in the dark and that was a challenge i remember that's good for your understanding of the fretboard yeah you know it's more intuitive it's more uh yeah snl it was cool to see well burr bill burr dropped into a lot of the characters he like the acting part where you're like doing the characters he did a really great job he's a good actor man yeah he really like try you know it's like because some of it was like kind of you would think it's a little cheesy or whatever but he like you know you got to commit right there you know what i mean like sketch comedy in general is a little is a little cheesy but if you're gonna do it you gotta fucking do it yeah what i mean it was cool mcgee played oh yeah um that was pretty dope i'm trying to think of what else happened any uh go to the after part or anything like that i didn't go yeah i heard that it's interesting they line up like limos and people all from the show go get in the limos and they're just waiting outside and it takes everybody to the after party interesting so a show of force yeah kind of like how north korea has a bunch of tanks and stuff snl's like we got 12 limos yeah don't fuck with us we got what we got 12 limos going to the dave and busters in time square yeah yeah and all of our drivers are addicted to porn if you're in north korea you see that that's awesome dude salute to those guys That, they made a big mistake.

1:45:43Once someone gets a little taste of pornography, you tell me they're going to go back to no porn, this could legitimately lead to the toppling of the North Korean regime. Little dabble do you, dude. North Korea soldiers in Russia gain internet access, view lewd videos. This is from UkrainianWorldCongress.org. Where the fuck are you getting your news, man? The same place everybody is, dude. CanadianWorldCongress.org? What the fuck is this? This is a website we made a half hour ago. This is all news now. It's whatever you want it to be. A usually reliable source. This is from this article. Tells me that the North Korean soldiers who have deployed to Russia have never had unfettered access to the internet before.

1:46:31As a result, they're gorging on pornography. Gorging on pornography. Wow. That's awesome. Gorging is crazy. Gorging means the equipment. What's gorging like the equivalent of, because I've gorged on food. Yeah. Probably mouth open, use a couple of phones going at once.

1:46:50I don't think it's their best soldiers. I think they're sending expendable guys. There's no way Kim Jong-un is sending his best boys out there. They're sending the form boys. He might want to get the masturbators out of his ranks. He might have sent the masturbators out. 100%. Let's zoom in on a couple of these guys. He looks awesome. Look at that fit, bro. Wow. I want to dress like that for real. You can do that, man. I need those pants. I need that fucking leather jacket. Is that goat leather? Yeah, yeah. Where do they get it from? It's shiny. He's looking awesome. Oh, he looks great. I think especially over the years.

1:47:25He's really figured his look out. He's come into his own. They say he gets massages every day. Interesting. And facials too. I'd love that. I would love to live like that. I would love a massage. Look how high the one dude is on porn. Right above your cursor to the right. Zoom in on that guy. Right there. Right there. Zoom in on that guy right there. There we go. I can't go in here. Oh, you can't. Sorry. Enhance. Let's get a shot of that guy. The hats are pretty high. Great hats.

1:47:58I've watched that much porn before. Where one of my ears turns really red. That's crazy, man. Yeah. That's a lot. Because he's lost all the blood from that ear and it's gone translucent because that's all a pump into his cock. It's all being used, brother. All non-essential blood is being redirected to your dick when you see porn for the first time in 40 years. Oh, dude, I remember at school when I would have to take tests, I would fucking tie my legs off like this to keep the blood up by my brain. Oh, smart, dude. So I'd be able to have more oxygen in my brain to help me think. What did you find out about that?

1:48:33Who told you about that? Was that just, you know what I mean? Just a good idea. Just a good idea. Did it work? Yeah. I think it was pretty good. Pretty good student, you know? I love that, dude. Yeah, it was fun, man. Just being alive back then. Yeah. Fucking beautiful leg skin. Oh, yeah. What's the leg skin looking like these days? You don't really show off the gams too much. I don't that much, yeah. I mean, I put them away today. That's not bad. You know? That's not bad. I mean, yeah. Yeah, they won't be in Westminster, but, you know, they won't be in the dog show. But I do, I think if I get in the gym for a couple weeks, I'll show them, you know?

1:49:05Please do. I will. thank you man please do see that's the thing that's a blessing of being a foundational man yeah yeah we got some thick and i'm even hiding the calves too i would what bothers me is i love i'm a little too milky white up here oh you got those four five walls right there baby those things are category three yeah oh yeah you could hang out you could hide two bitches behind you could you could you could take shelter behind my calves no problem i would love that yeah dude What else is happening, man? Anything else? What else do you want to talk about? Police seized a goat from an 11-year-old girl on a$300 ,000 settlement.

1:49:41What is up with cops taking fucking animals, dude? Yeah, something happened with a squirrel, too. I don't understand why people are fucking... It's just bureaucratic. Who gives a fuck? Good for this girl. She won$300 ,000. Now, I don't know all the facts. Hopefully this goat wasn't biting people's dicks off or whatever. it turns out the goat was a fucking piece of shit but if he was just a nice little goat vanessa shakib yeah it's tough to know um the goat was seized by sheriffs go back to the top a little bit sheriff's deputy in 2022 while living at a north carolina farm and was later slaughtered why did they eat him as outlined in court documents you can't slaughter a goat for no For no reason.

1:50:26No, not for no fucking reason. What cop's like, nah, we're getting this guy out of here. And the ghost is just like. Yeah. The sheriff's deputy did nothing that enforced the law. Yeah, right. Who knows if this is even right. And then they got this squirrel or whatever. He did something. Some dumb bitch snitched. They shouldn't have killed Peanut. But the bitch who snitched is obviously the biggest villain in here. But also the cops overstepping. Cops love killing a fucking animal when they can, man. They do. They'll shoot people's dogs for no reason. They just fucking like killing shit. Quiet him down.

1:50:59It's just a fucking parakeet. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He had a gun. Yeah. The Barrett had a gun. Oh, man. What do you think of the world right now? Do things feel okay now to you? Are you scared? Not really. Because I know there's the election, right? Yes. What are people truly scared of, do you think, when they talk about Trump? because but what is it i kind of start to wonder what do people be scared of i can tell you right i mean the thing so for me you know i didn't love either candidate here um i didn't i really didn't understand being enthusiastic about either candidate um i think you know i'm not a trump guy obviously i think he is dangerous and the things that i'm scared of the most and the thing that made me that made me lean towards kamala was more than anything was the supreme court and that it would be, if it's put under like far right control for the next however long.

1:51:58We've already seen, you know, women's right to, you know, over their bodies, the abortion, you know, Roe v. Wade's been overturned, which I think is really dangerous. That's going to like really affect women's health care. Already in states that banned it, you see they're getting less just general OBGYN care because it's more dangerous to be a doctor in those states. So we don't think about shit that trickles down. So like, it's harder to get just general healthcare, let alone abortion in Texas now for women. And that's only going to get harder in rural States. And I think for me, that was the number one issue.

1:52:31That's really fucking scary to me. Especially with the border being open and they're letting rapists in. You know what I'm saying though? It's like, you're just, well, yeah. I mean, I don't know if it's the best time to repeal that. Yeah. If we're going to follow your logic and you claim they got rapists coming in maybe we should also keep abortion but you know i think we got plenty of homegrown rapists too but you know yeah yeah yeah we've got our own sure we've got some some heirloom american rapists for sure um jesus but i think i think that's my the number one thing that scares me is about that because it's not only that's the first step and i think you can really see stuff that we take for granted is progress gay marriage is another thing there's a really weird cultural i think this is what happens anytime uh the party that's backed by the you know the powers that be big business the rich people the richest people in the world want far-right politicians and i think if they still absolutely without question i feel like tech is now i i just feel like the party is a was the huge is a huge trump that's a good point i think rich people will support whoever's in power, number one, but they want to transfer wealth from the poor to the rich.

1:53:47They've been really good at doing it. The biggest issue, I think the reason the Democrats lost is because they pretend that there is no problem. It's like, that's fucking crazy. You have to tell people that, yes, there are issues here. Shit is more expensive. I think inflation, I think a big part of inflation is that companies realize they can just charge you more and say it's somebody else's fault. A lot of it's price gouging. That's, you know, that's fucking true. And the, but you should, everything gets so much more expensive. And companies are, some of it is just real inflation, but some of it is companies are hiding behind inflation.

1:54:22And like, there was no Democrats did nothing to stop price gouging, right? They didn't even say they were going to do it. You can't tell people that things are going good when they're just clearly not. And there were just no, it sucks because they offered the Democratic Party has become like they were going after fucking Dick Cheney and who's like it was so bizarre it's crazy because they're going after policy-wise you know moderates Republican Republican people who most working-class people don't agree with uh the economic stuff that they're saying and then culturally it's not it bothers me when you become a a party of like tattletales it's like it's become a party of like middle managers that want to get mad at you if you say the wrong thing.

1:55:08And it's like, that's not fucking, that's not the most important issue. The most important issue for people is that things are fucking more, they have no healthcare. Wage inequality is out of fucking control. We're not, people's wages have not kept pace with how much bosses are earning. Well, yeah, well, what percent, I mean, Bernie Sanders said greatly that he thought if AI starts to happen for companies, right? So companies are making more money because of AI because they don't need people, right? then some of that money should go to the employees of course as opposed and cut it cut down their hours for the week now you give them a better life instead of just making it where well fucking well we don't need you anymore yeah you know so you don't get anything and we keep all the fucking profits and i do think i mean i think we talked about a little bit last time where it's like ai is a tool to fucking do creative shit it's so weird when it's like it should be making normal people's lives easier.

1:56:02It shouldn't just be for rich people to be able to charge less. Like there should be some protections for workers and we should be able to like, you know, you should be able to fucking buy a house, all these fucking regular issues that weren't really hit on. It was just, well, you got to vote for us because the other person's worse. And even though I think that is true, that's not a winning message. That's nothing, especially when the other side is offering they're at least saying shit's bad well yeah they're saying it's for the wrong reasons i don't think it's immigrants fault it's definitely not fucking trans people aren't the people buying up houses and not letting you buy it you know what i mean like i don't but at least they're saying something's wrong and they're saying some fucked up shit in my opinion they're trying to make it culture war stuff they're trying to divide people who should be on the same side by saying uh oh gay people are bad trans people are bad when it's like the people trying to fuck you are rich people.

1:56:56That's how it's always been. That's the fucking, that's a tale as old as time. And it's weird. Some people think they're going to be fucking billionaires when it's like they don't make off crypto or whatever. And they're like, well, when I'm that rich, I don't want to be taxed. And it's like, you fucking don't. You live in, you're sharing a loft bedroom with your friend's dad who's taking dick pills. You don't have to worry about fucking tax rates going up on you. Don't bet on yourself now. Bet on yourself right now, man. How about we raise some fucking taxes on the richest people and you get some fucking health care?

1:57:32It just, I don't know, man. No, maybe I shouldn't have asked. It's a lot. It's a lot. It's frustrating because I, but even having said all that, I think what people are scared of the most with Trump is just, yeah, man, the Supreme Court being taken over by like ideologically really right wing. because now the Senate is Republican and there's like, you know, taken over by that. That's scary. That is scary to me because we could see a lot of stuff rolled back that is that we take for granted as fundamental and stuff that's just progress. We can argue over like, you know, economic issues, whatever.

1:58:07But some of those things that does scare me. Yeah. And it's like gay, like women's rights are being rolled back. Oh, it would be so wild if you got groups in there that were like, well, you can't do gay in any way. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We're taking away gay marriage. But then you'd have to pretend they're straight again. Yeah, back in the closet, boys. Like, oh, come on. I just threw away all my straight. I just threw away all my Dockers. I just threw away all my fucking plaid shirts. I just fucking burned all my Doc Martens. And just lay in bed holding my high school girlfriend. Gay guys and lesbians have to get married again?

1:58:47and then fuck other fuck on the side hey you know what there was something admiral about those days though look you got you got i respect getting a nut anyway against the against everything well just the hard work just the you know the effort that people put into being gay sure whereas now fucking some dude's just like all day being gay just willy fucking nilly just burning the gay handle at both ends. Doing Pilates. He's the only guy in the class. Which is the gayest thing you do. I used to have a gay roommate for about four months. He would chew gum in his fucking sleep. I was like, what is going on?

1:59:22Did he have a defined jawline? He was a figure skater. He could jump over a Toyota Tercel, the front. Wow. Just the front. Side to side. Couldn't go all the way. That's insane. He could jump literally at an angle. Oh, he'd do the spin, the axle. It was crazy. That's awesome. He could axle over a figure skater. Yeah. Where'd you meet him? We met him. Um, we were shopping. My buddy and I were shopping for firewood and we met him at a Vons one afternoon. We just moved to Los Angeles. He was doing tricks in the parking lot. Yeah. He was just doing that fucking piero. Your buddy's like, Hey pal, ease off the Tercel.

1:59:57I just, I just got rid of the Mitsubishi. I can turn this fucking car off. The last thing I need is a gay heel going through my windshield. yeah i tone it down tone it down hey just buff he's just buffing it with his feet as he passes over well i do think some things that uh i do i will say this though also donald trump campaigned harder than fucking anyone for a 78 year old man yeah it's unbelievable yeah i mean i think he loves the attention of campaigning. You know what I mean? But to even do it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I just can't even believe - I mean that like blew my mind just how um how much he could do you know I think that's his favorite part, though.

2:00:44You saw him. He was electric on the fucking mic, bro. Yeah. He loves crushing, dude. He loves getting in front of this crowd, just fucking riffing. Dude, you think that motherfucker wants to be in meetings? Or you think he wants to be talking to the Nelk boys about how he used to get pussy in the 80s or whatever the fuck he was doing? That's the part he likes. He doesn't want to listen to fucking reports about fucking stats and numbers and shit. No, he wants to eat a Big Mac, drink a Diet Coke, and go on bussing with the boys. He's like, Tara Fawcett. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Cut the mics. Let me tell you a little something.

2:01:23Suzanne Summers. Yeah, yeah. Funny. I will say, I think one of the funniest guys I've ever had, though. Entertaining. Without question. That's the thing. I'm not going to sit here and tell you he's not fucking. He's funny as shit, which is, I think, why things are so. That's why he was able to sneak through. If somebody was saying the exact same shit with no humor at all, it would be horrifying. It would be. It's fucking crazy. He says insane shit, but it's funny as fuck, and he seems gay. That's the other thing. He's a New York gay guy who happens to be straight, I guess. Well, he behaves. I mean, come on.

2:01:57His mannerisms, his little pursing of the... He behaves like a gay guy is what I'm saying. He's got a queen. He seems like a gay guy from Queens. He's from Queens. He has like that little hair. You didn't put him in Queens in that story. His fucking spray tan. No, he's from Queens. Oh, he is? Yeah, yeah, yeah. The spray tan. I'm saying I don't think he's gay, but he does have gay mannerisms. Okay, well, this isn't. Doing this. Doing this. Like his little fucking. Where are the gays for Trump? That was the best. Like, where are they? They're here. Yeah, yeah, yeah. A couple of gays for Trump. Where are the squirrels for Trump?

2:02:32They're here. Look at them. Where's my African-American? Blacks for Trump. I'm glad there's two of them right there. Let them loose. Let them loose, guys. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know if somebody whispers in his ear. Good to see you, boys. Harriet Tubman's here. Dude, the best was he brought up Nicky Jam. He thought it was a woman. He's like, Nicky Jam is here. Beautiful. And it's a fucking dude. Some dude off Instagram. Some guy named Nicky Jam. Some dude with a mouthful of Zandros up there. just fucking spitting stay awake juice into the fucking audience no he's so but that like i'm not gonna sit here and tell you the guys he's so fucking funny i went like i but so it's a court so that's one thing that because i i just hear that a lot people like i'm so scared like what are you fucking like that's a part of i just never believe the government's gonna affect my life that much i agree with you the president the presidential the president doesn't have that much power.

2:03:32And if it wasn't for the Supreme Court, I would be like, who really gives a fuck? The Democrats didn't run any kind of coherent campaign. They don't want to, I hope, I hope this will make, because look, I, my politics are further left than that. I'm not a Democrat registered. Bernie is the only guy I liked in a long time because I thought he was the only human being who was like a real person of integrity. I think Donald Trump just is a, the idea that he's different from politicians. It's crazy. He's a rich guy who had, you know, he grew up rich. He's a class president for sure. Yeah. And it's like his dad, you know, he was like his dad was a fucking slumlord.

2:04:08He's just a rich guy who's fucked over people on deals forever. He's I don't like I, you know, I have class issues, right? I don't I tend to not trust super rich guys. And and I don't see how he's going to do anything different. I think it's naive to think he's going to be different than I understand not trusting the Democratic establishment. But it's like to me trump's funny but he is he's a fucking billionaire propped up by other billionaires that's i think he's part of just the the complex that runs our country and i don't think he's any different right the only person that i like it's gonna be a challenge to see if he is like i mean they'll think you know he's already that's the other weird thing he was already we're talking about him like he's this shaking up force he was already fucking president oh yeah it's not he's not new that's what's weird both of them were both that both of them were that that was a fallacy both of them had it was like and Kamala's like it'll be different like well it's fucking I know and that's home and make it different right now and that's why absolutely you're in off you're in power right now do something god knows joe ain't doing shit that guy's been having ice cream for six months and they pretended and when they that's what that's what lost me as a democrat when they that's when they lost me was when they lied about or when they just I just didn't like when they treated that old man yeah you know it's not fucking cool because then he believes he's doing great.

2:05:24Totally. So he wakes up every day. He's listening to the music. He's fucking riding for his bike. He's looking for fucking. Yeah. What are they doing here? He's looking awesome. What is it? Honestly, dude. Is this the end of an amazing race? Yeah. To heaven? It looks like he's just about to finish a fucking marathon. Yeah. But he just got out of his car. And they're still pretending every day. They just told him the other day, he's the fucking mayor of Wisconsin. And he's like. And they're giving him unlimited. some cheese curds yeah unlimited ice cream and milk well and that's why i agree with you i think they made a fucking huge mistake in running him again like when he ran the first time it's like i get it people were scared of another thing of trump so like put some fucking you know put some middle of the road ass democrat but then they should have had an open primary like yeah just like a railroaded thing people could actually vote on the issues they care about and they just didn't do that and and she even had an opportunity to if she came out with any fucking um you know i'm just pissed off she didn't release any new music yeah there was nothing you let's say that was all remixes and nobody likes biden yeah and you can't just hit and she's trying to go after blacks with a mixtape you got a fucking little production yeah it was she dropped a lot of diss tracks yeah but no yeah nothing you no yeah just didn't hit yeah but look man i think it's just crazy how um I don't know.

2:06:48It'll be interesting. It's a lot of pressure to see. I'm most excited about RFK. And J.D. Vance was super cool when he came on the podcast. He's a human. Trump's hard to get to know. I don't know that J.D. Vance, to me, he seems like a traditional just say whatever it takes to get elected snake, to be honest with you. I know, you know, you had him on. He was cool here. But he was a guy who said he hated Trump. He said some fucked up shit about women. Like, I just think he's a, and venture capitalist guys are fucking worms to begin with. I don't trust J.D. Vance at all. I think he's a piece of shit also.

2:07:20So, yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, just, I think he's a cut in the, regular ass Republican that'll say any fucking fucked up thing to get into power. He sucked Trump's cock after saying he was, he called him Hitler or whatever. And he made a complete turn when he realized it was politically advantageous to be on Trump's side. I think he also is just a run-of-the-mill piece of shit politician like I just do and that's the thing I think all politicians is a weird thing to be right but that's what I'm saying that that's what I'm saying is like I've never been excited about the politics I've been excited about was Obama when I was 18 same I voted for Obama and I think he did have a real opportunity to do something and it turned out he didn't really do shit and then and then he did yeah but that's the thing that always happens.

2:08:07Yeah. At least that was something that was like, and I think part of that was Obama was just too inexperienced. I think if he had a little more, you know, he didn't know what he was doing with the Senate. The healthcare thing got completely fucked and universal healthcare didn't end up. I had Obamacare. It was bad. They didn't, they ended up. They sent me some cups. I still have some set of cups they sent me. Nice, dude. You got a mug? Huh? That's the, yeah. No, it's like, kind of like some plastic cups of it. I still use them. yeah but he got worked over by thinking he could um actually uh you know find common ground with the republicans they should have just rammed the legislation down their throat they had both both houses at the time anyway whatever yeah the and the only person i was excited about was bernie because i think he was actually in that run in 2016 he was like he would have been cool would have been cool but the democrats shut that shit down i hey man well one i like dance as a guy seem like a nice guy yeah i know that like like he's like you know they say like peter teal is like the guy that got him in office that sort of thing yeah but then you start to see that all these guys have backers will things be different with some of these guys i don't know i think but one thing that's cool is that we both like bernie i like bernie yeah yeah i would have voted for bernie see that's the is i think those ideas unite people because he's just saying like look we have issues to deal with there's real issues we're not going to pretend shit's good when it's not.

2:09:32And let's find real ways to do it that everybody gets. And every that's real equality. He wants to help everyone because it's not about, it's not, it's not a fucking, it's not about like, you know, cultural shit. It's about economic shit. And more people are disaffected because of the, you know, people at the top. And I think that's a message that everyone can agree with. And I think when, when people aren't looking at things ideologically, if you just ask them about issues people agree on a lot of fucking issues i say they want to be able to fucking buy a house they want to be able to afford shit and they want to be able to fucking you know get health care how many people do we know like i have you know i know people extended extended family stuff like that that are struggling off shit that they shouldn't because somebody got sick and it derails your whole fucking family we talk about all the time it's fucked up the number one cause of i mean we say this all the time now because it's one of the few facts i know but the number one cause of bankruptcy in America is medical debt.

2:10:27Crazy. And so it's a fucking, the whole system is a money laundering scam. Yeah. And I don't know why that hasn't changed. And you would think at some point, one of these fucking groups would be able to change the shit, you know? I mean, there is so much money in politics and I was - Right, but it's just, it's so, people are so fed up with the fucking system. I just, you almost want there to be a war to end it all or whatever. I know what you mean, man. You know what I'm saying? I do know what you mean and some people do believe that. Some people think there's no way. Something has to change because this is not changing over time, right?

2:10:59Yeah, some people believe revolution is the only way to fucking do it. Hey, Tony tried to start one. That was the main reason Shane said it too on his podcast. It would have been so funny to be able to blame Tony if Kamala won. It would have just been like, you bombed so hard that the part of your candidate fucking lost. How fun would that be to tell Tony for the rest of his life. That's actually the thing I'm most pissed off about. Supreme Court is number two after being able to mock Tony for the rest of my life. That's what I regret the most about the election. He was sweating. I was out there and watched it with him.

2:11:42He was sweating, man. I think we could do, I know that we could do better in this country about making useful things. I was just looking the other day in Japan. Is it in Japan where they have the sidewalks turn power a fucking building you're walking by them the fucking building's powered by people walking on that's fucking cool yeah our infrastructure is so fucked too it's like how trains don't even work high speed rail we need like our trains if you're on a train the other day it got robbed by a bunch of people on horseback like the amtrak's getting the fucking the 310 to yuma treatment it's unreal dude you go to the post office you go in there you're like yeah i'm looking for this package you get a piece of paper the guy comes back two days later and asks you who the fuck you are right you're like where have you been i know dude what is even going on it's crazy it's crazy it's falling around dude yeah but it's like meanwhile we have all these homeless people wandering around town if you put them all in an area yeah and set up one of these because this floor in japan turns footsteps into electricity play a bit of it there so you're thinking man even walking generates electricity.

2:12:52Tokyo Metro. I don't like this guy's voice. The trains are powered. Look at that. But if you can get 50 or 70 homeless people to power a Jamba Juice or something. I agree with you, dude. How fucking great would that be? They come out, they dance for 12 minutes or whatever. And bam. It's exercise for them. It's good electricity. The blender's cut on in there. And they get a free smoothie for their trouble. What do we do? but instead everybody's like they need pills you know it's like fucking no that's it that's a perfect example though of homelessness it's like give them homes yeah we have the we know what it takes like get make fucking apartment buildings and like that has been shown to work and most people just don't have access but there is all this weird like you will create non-profits to to help the homeless that cost more than just getting them little apartment recipe books yeah Yeah, yeah, yeah.

2:13:48And they'll just keep busting them back and forth in different cities. Like, it's basically political parties play Red Rover with them. I know. What they should do is instead of busting them, sign them up for Southwest miles. Yeah. And then they get some fucking miles out of it. Give them a Southwest credit card every time you ship them from Texas to New York to fucking wherever the fuck. And then they can go on vacation. You know, they can earn some miles. You're not going to cough about the cabin. Yeah. I'm just hacking up a fucking dead sparrow in his throat. I only say that because I was in San Francisco one time.

2:14:21My guy threw a fucking bird at me for no reason. Oh my God. Yeah. It was a sparrow. It was small enough. Small enough. It could have been a, a warbler, but I'm going to get him back. We'll see. You put an air tag in his, in his bindle. You're tracking him. You're going to get him back. Every time I close my eyes, I still see what he looks like. That's horrifying. Birds to me are unsettling. creatures. To have one thrown at you is very tough. The dirtiest surprise. Yeah. Starburst Mission, the new movie. Let's start a cult. Let's start a cult. Out on VOD right now. Go to Apple, Amazon, wherever you like to rent movies.

2:14:58Go check it out, please. I'm begging you. We got the calendar. We have a new tour coming out, the Dreamboat tour. And yeah, I really appreciate you having me on, dude. It's always so fun. This is my favorite podcast to do. It's so much fucking fun. Really, dude? I love it. You're the best to riff with. Thanks so much, man. I'm going to come back in December so I can do yours in. Please, yeah. Would love to have you. And I remember I didn't even know you were the guy from Comptown that I liked. That was so fun, dude. You're like, I met that guy once. I was like, it was me, dude. That's crazy, dude.

2:15:25But I love that. That's awesome. Would it be? We'll fucking play some Clapton. I'll have you play a little guitar while I get my dick sucked. It'll be like old times, dude. Just take those old records off the shelf. Thank you, Sal. You're the man, dude. Now I'm just floating on the breeze. And I feel I'm falling like these leaves I must be cornerstone Oh, but when I reach that ground I'll share this peace of mind I found I can feel it in my bones But it's gonna take...