Comedian DESTROYS Every Triggernometry Guest - Tony Lapidus

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18:13Francis Foster:Tucka Carson, this has been a long time coming. Thanks for coming on the show. Why is everything Israel's fault? Well, I don't think there's any doubt that everything is Israel's fault. Like, everything. But look, I mean, I think it's really clear. And we know that because I've spoken to preeminent historians of everything, actually. Like who? Well, like Daryl Cooper. Do you have a problem with him? He's one of the most prominent historians ever. He's not a pseudo-historian. He's real. Is he? He's not revisionist. He's real. Right. And so I know that everything is Israel's fault, even though I don't ever think I've actually said that even now.

18:50I don't think there's words that have left my lips. I don't think I've ever said that. Right. And so, I mean, even this coffee is actually kind of cold. Israel. I tried to tie my shoelaces this morning, and I realized it was quite difficult. And guess what? Blue and white shoes. Yeah. Was that real? That is Israel. That is Israel. That's just a fact. And I'm not going to apologize for that either, by the way. And it's not only everyday life that it's Israel. It's also, it's not even only in politics. It's everything that I do. I just see Israel everywhere. And I just see it. I'm like, like I took my dogs for a walk the other day.

19:25And one of them suddenly got sick and I said, oh my God, are you okay? And I looked down and she said, woof. And I got closer. I said, is everything okay? And suddenly I heard saying, Israel did this to me. Israel did this to me. I really want you to think about that as Christians, actually. I mean, it's unbelievable, right? Yeah, it is kind of hard to believe. Well, I'm not going to apologize for it. It's just a fact. It's just a fact, and it's out there on the Internet. I'm not making this up. I also heard, actually, I love going for walks, as I say, with my dogs, my wife. Bless my wife. I love my wife.

19:57I really do. I didn't know what I'd do without her. And I heard this kind of twittering from a bird. It sounded like a beeper. And it turns out, actually, that it exploded because Israel had planted a pager, an explosive pager, in one of the birds and exploded because they thought it was Hezbollah. Hezbollah. And no, actually, it was Israel. So Israel is actually killing the birds and making my dogs sick.

20:24Francis Foster:Israel is making your dogs sick. Speaking of dogs and things being sick, have you been scratched by any more demons lately? Because I know it's a big thing. Well, this is just another thing that people laugh at, and I know you don't believe it, but it's true. It happens just to be a fact, actually. And if you don't believe me, ask Daryl Cooper. So I woke up. I've told the story a few times, but I don't mind telling you again what the actual, what the coincidence of it is. So I woke up, and I found that I'd had, I went to bed, obviously, with four hunting dogs and bears and tigers, and I woke up with scratches.

20:53And my wife looked at me, and she said, oh, my God, I think you've been scratched by a demon. I said, really? What? Turns out it's really normal, actually. And it happens all the time. And I lifted my arm up, and my wife noticed that I had scratch marks here. And she said, I think we should count them. And there were 74 of them. And at the time, do you know how old Israel was? 74. We also counted on the second side, and there were two giant scratch marks that were the exact shape of Ben Shapiro's eyebrows. So it was Ben Shapiro in Israel, obviously, I think.

21:26Francis Foster:Ben Shapiro scratched you during the night. Well, I don't think, I think the evidence is just out there. You can look that up. I don't have to convince you of anything, actually. Well, I'm not... You've repeatedly said you want to apologize, but no one's asked you to apologize. I'm not going to apologize for anything! I'm not going to apologize for anything, ever! I don't even know what an apology means, absolutely. What even is an apology? Do you even know what that means? Yeah, I do. What's an apology? It's when you say sorry. I think we have to define what we mean by apologies. I'm defining it.

21:54It's when you say sorry. Well, no, actually, it's... No, it's not actually when you say sorry. It's when you actually regret what you're saying, and you mean it. Oh, so you do know what an apology is? Well, no, I don't know. I don't even know what you just asked. Are we even here now? It's me, I'm here. No, I'm not going to apologize for anything. All right, can I ask you another question? Well, of course, when you open free speech and dialogue, you can ask questions. We love asking questions, right? Yeah, I thought so.

22:21Francis Foster:What's your favorite thing about Qatar? Well, Qatar, for me, represents the American dream, actually. It is a place where, and I know everybody's going to hear that, They're going to say, Qatar! Yeah, I do love Qatar. And I recently bought a property there, actually. I don't know if you heard about it. It's a beautiful place, beautiful culture. And as a proud, ashamed American, I go there all the time. And I'm not ashamed to say that because that's my way of saying, fuck you. I'm allowed to do it as an American. I have more in common with Qataris than I do most Americans. And I'm proud to say that as a proud, ashamed American.

22:55Just like when I come to England, actually, I have more in common with a Pakistani driver than I do with any of the English people. And I'm allowed to say that because I'm British.

23:04Francis Foster:What do you have in common with a Pakistani driver? Just everything. Everything. The way we dress, the way we think. The way we both go to Qatar. Qatar.

23:15And that's really it. I don't think I really need to say. Also, the Christian thing. I have a lot in common with Pakistani cab drivers. There's a lot of overlap. Sharia Law, are you a fan? I think Sharia Law was better than OnlyFans. better than pornography. I'd rather have Sharia law than forcing all women. Oh my God, we're the OnlyFans. No, we don't want that. I would rather, way rather, go and live in Qatar under Sharia law or have it here. And I don't think there's anything wrong with that. And by the way, Daryl Cooper agrees with me on that.

23:49Konstantin Kisin:Are Israel controlling everyone and everything, Tucker? I really don't think there's any doubt about that, actually. I think it's really clear if you look at everything. And by the way, I don't even know if it's true. I just like to ask questions. And I think that Donald Trump is a real slave to Israel. I think that's clear, right? I don't think there's any doubt about that anymore. I don't think he takes any... I don't think he makes any decisions that are not controlled by Israel. I mean, he went to attack Maduro. Maduro! We're all scared of Maduro! And the way that he supports Ukraine and doesn't like Putin, apparently.

24:25I mean, he says he gets on with him, but he continues to back Ukraine. And I know a lot of people hear that, and they'll just think that I'm saying, I love Putin. Putin! Putin! I don't love Putin, actually. I don't love Maduro. I love Qatar more than I do America. But I do think that Israel is basically responsible for all of it. And I just don't think there's any doubt about that.

24:46Konstantin Kisin:So are we being controlled by Israel? Well, who paid you to ask that question? I think that's the real thing. And also, what color shirt is that? And what color skin are you? It's an Israeli shirt. It is. It is. Yeah. Right. And what color skin are you? I'm just asking questions. It's pretty pale. Yeah. It's very similar to the Israeli flag. Are you scared? If you say white, I'm a racist. What color skin are you? White. White. Right? Mm-hmm. Yes. You're wearing the colors of the Israeli flag. You're totally controlled. You probably took 7K even to ask me that. Right? I don't know what to say about you, actually.

25:24But you're probably controlled. He probably controls you. Israel controls him. And that's how it works. I know that because I've actually been there. I've been to Washington. I've seen how this works. It is a drip kind of control where the people at the top control and they're controlling him. He's controlling you, actually. So, yeah, you are controlled by Israel. I don't think there's any doubt about that.

25:46Konstantin Kisin:This is a question I really wanted to ask. Do you think, moving on, that Churchill is the greatest villain of World War II? Well, I think that there's no doubt about that either. You're asking me questions where there is actually, no doubt. Churchill was the chief villain. I mean, he bombed the Nazis. I know people are going to hear that and say, Nazi! Nazi! No, he is the chief villain of World War II. He did not have to bomb the Nazis. I don't believe in bombing anybody. I don't believe in killing anybody. It includes Germans. It includes Nazis, actually. I'm not a Nazi. And also, you have to remember as well that he was the one that dragged Roosevelt into the war.

26:18He dragged him in. I don't think you know about that because you've probably never spoken to the preeminent historian of World War II. I have a lot of times, actually. I've read his books. And that was against his will. Roosevelt didn't want to get involved in a war? What? To kill Nazis? Who were overtaking the continent of Europe? Like, people were really scared of that? Really? You think that people really cared about that? No, he was a chief villain, and there was no need for that. But it wasn't just Churchill. You have to remember also that it was actually David Ben-Gurion. He actually convinced Churchill to drag Roosevelt into the war.

26:53So it was Israel as well, actually.

26:56Francis Foster:Wait, Israel was created in 1948? Well, that doesn't matter. It doesn't matter, does it? Doesn't it? I'm asking questions. I'm allowed to ask questions. And Ben-Gurion existed before 1948. He actually wanted the war to go on so that he could get more sympathy and then establish the state of Israel so that he could control the United States of America, which would then control Francis, which would then control you and your entire podcast. And it's not even a conspiracy to say that, actually. And you have to remember as well, David Ben-Grayon, he undermined D.A. He was undermining it. Yeah. And he caused Pearl Harbor.

27:29Who do you think got the Japanese to bomb? You think it was just the Japanese? The bad Japanese? No, it wasn't. Of course not. It was Israel. Well, it was David Ben-Grayon. Of course. It's just a fact. It's out there. I'm not making it up.

27:47Francis Foster:Definitely not. Definitely not making it up. You can check that up on the internet. What do you mean that? Well, some people have said that your obsession with Israel is more about Jews. Oh, it's not the Jews. I know a lot of people say that because they want to say, shut up! Shut up, Nazi! No, it's nothing to do with Jews. I don't have a problem with the Jews. I have a problem with a stupid country that is claiming to be Jewish. It had nothing to do with Judaism, actually. Just a fact. And nobody disputes that at all. You're just quoting lines now from Bibi Netanyahu? like your boss? Who's your boss?

28:22He is your boss, isn't he? Why don't you just come out and admit it? You know how I know that? Candace told me. I put more currency in Candace Owens' podcasts than anything that you've ever said. If she tells me that you're controlled by Israel, I believe her. You know why? Feelings. She has a feeling. And I don't doubt that.

28:44Francis Foster:So what's the one thing we're not talking about that we should be? I hate to say it. Israel. I hate to say it. We're not talking about it. I don't want to talk about Israel. People are like, oh, you're an anti-Semite. Shut up. I don't want to talk about Israel. I don't care about stupid Israel. I don't want to talk about Ben Shapiro either, actually, to Israel. What are your thoughts on Ben Shapiro? I feel sorry for him. I really do. I really feel sorry for him. I think that Ben Shapiro is one of the worst podcasters ever. He's been blown up, juiced his numbers, made out like he's kind of talented, has opinions.

29:18None of them are really his own, and he's a slave. And actually, he's not even a slave, actually. He's the master of slaves. He controls everybody. You can't get a mortgage because of Ben Shapiro. Your Taco Bells, the price of your Taco Bell is actually going up because of Ben Shapiro. And he says, shut up, shut up, eat your Taco Bell. It's all Ben Shapiro. You have to live outside of New York City where your grandfathers and your grandparents grew up? What? That's Ben Shapiro. He says, get out. You can't afford it, peasant. What is that? He's literally the worst. He's worse than anything under my shoe.

29:51And I mean that. He's actually worse than Mark Levin. I didn't think that was possible. Tucker, what's going on with that laugh? Oh, the laugh?

30:03Yeah, substances will do that, actually. A lot of substances will do that when you consume a lot of alcohol and other kinds of things. But the truth is, I never really talk about this. And I will now. Basically, when I believe something and I've said something so outrageous, I just laugh it off. As if you've never really heard me say it, as if I didn't mean it. So when somebody says, like, you're anti-Semite.

30:30I'm not an anti-Semite. Never have been. Don't believe in that. Don't believe in blood guilt at all. Like, at all. And I don't love Maduro. Maduro, I don't love Putin. Putin. I know you love Putin. I know maybe you love Putin. I don't love Putin. I don't care what anybody says. And so when I say that I don't love Putin and I go, it kind of means I do, actually. It kind of means I do. That's right. Same as when people say, shut up, Nazi. You're anti-Semite. You're a Nazi. No, I'm not a Nazi at all. And I don't love Nick Fuentes.

31:11Francis Foster:Patrick, but David, welcome back to Trigonometry. My pleasure to be here. Right. So, what did you think? Wait, wait, did you just call me Rod? I said right. Right. Oh, right. Right. Yeah. That's what I said. I say cat. Right. You want to say it? Right. Right. Right. Right. Yeah. You can proceed with the question that you want to ask. Right.

31:38Konstantin Kisin:So, Patrick, what did you make of Kansas' debate with Andrew Wilson? So, do you want to know what I thought? I know that a lot of people were complaining about that, right? A lot of people were complaining. They were saying that, you know, you took too much money or they took too much money. I want to tell you something. I don't know if you're ready for this, but here's where I'm going with this. I don't know if you're ready for this. Are you ready for this? Right? Absolutely. Say right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Yeah. So I actually think that debate was one of the most important things that has happened in this decade.

32:06And the reason for that is because everybody got to see what are the facts. They heard facts from Candace. They heard facts from Andrew Wilson. I respect both of them. And the most important thing is that everybody was baptized. Baptized is key, right? Candace, she was able to baptize everybody with her part of the argument. And guess what? Andrew was able to do the same. I thought it was insightful. I think it was the most important debate. And I don't think there's anything even close to that. And I was just talking to Adam about this. And he agreed. I was actually just sitting for dinner with one of my millionaire friends the other day.

32:39And he even said, you know who really wins from all of this? The markets. guy.

32:45Konstantin Kisin:And how much were you paid for the debate? So here's the thing. You ready for this? I wasn't paid anything. They said to me, you want$1 million,$2 million,$3 million. I said, you know what? I don't want a thing. All I want is to be able to advertise what's most important because I'm doing this for Charlie Kirk. I'm doing this for the markets. I'm doing this for the people at home. And I said that all I wanted was for her to get$300 ,000. And I wanted Andrew Wilson to get subscribers that was to remember Charlie, how Charlie would want to be remembered, obviously. And I wanted to advertise a shoe that blends comfort, function, and luxury.

33:24A shoe. The future looks bright. Shoe. Bright. Looks bright.

33:31Konstantin Kisin:And do you think you did a good job? You know what I think? And I was discussing this also with Vinny before. I think that no other moderator would have done what I did, right? Because I don't think if anybody else had debated that, there would have been more ads, right? I don't think that there would have been a lot more ads. I don't think the people were interested in seeing anything except the ads that I was showing, which was for the Futurist Bride shoe. They could have been made fast and could have been made cheap. I chose neither, so I went to Tuscany, Italy to make my Futurist Bride shoe ride.

34:03And I think I did a fantastic job.

34:07Francis Foster:Okay, would you say Candace is the best debater in the world? I would say that Candace is very talented. She came calm. She came collected. I respected what she said. I respected that she brought her facts and she backed it up with evidence such as her dreams and feelings and vibes. I respected that. And also, I think that a lot of people don't talk about this when it comes to Candace Owens. She actually is one of the most talented negotiators. And I know that because I'm a businessman, you know, I'm worth hundreds of millions of dollars, 100 million, 2 million, 300 million dollars. But I didn't want the money.

34:38I didn't want anything for it. But she's one of the most fantastic negotiators because I'll tell you this, and I've never revealed this to anybody. Are you ready for this? So when she said, I want to do this for Charlie, because my priority and her priority is Charlie and the memory of Charlie Kirk, she wanted to start, she said she wanted to start at$2 million from Andrew Wilson, right? And I realized after she settled for$300 ,000 to remember Charlie, right? That's what she did. And she knew from the beginning that we were going to settle at$300 ,000. So she started so high, she went up a little bit, then she went up a little bit, up a bit, then she went down a little bit, then she went up a little bit, then she came down.

35:19And she settled. And you know what? I think that the real winner in all of this is, it's Erica Kirk. Erica Kirk has now got to see the facts. They debated it. They had it out. I respect that. And so I think she's a very talented person. And I'm pleased for her for$300 that she made out of this guy. So you all did this for Charlie the entire thing was for Charlie. I didn't want a penny for it I just wanted to advertise I just thought that it was important for the world to see a shoe that could that combines comfort function and luxury a Shooter could have been made anywhere else. It could have been made faster than sheep.

35:55I chose neither You know about that if you want to buy any for me after this the future is right we can do this I thought that was the most important thing and you know what I made hundreds of millions of dollars You know why I did that you ready for this I did it for Charlie.

36:11Francis Foster:Patrick, thank you for coming back on the show. What's the one thing we're not talking about that we really should be? I think we're not talking about the markets enough. I think we should be talking about how the markets are going up a little bit and going down a little bit. I think a lot of people also are not talking about how they don't hear me out. People need to hear me out. They need to wait in suspense and hear my point. Right. That's it. The TriggerNometry Merge Store is built on Shopify because the moment someone's actually ready to pay, Shopify makes sure they can. And if they've bought before, their details are already saved, so it's one tap and done.

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37:12Francis Foster:Douglas Murray, welcome back to Trigonometry. Pleasure to be back with you. So, how do you reflect back on your debate with Dave Smith? Well, I mean, first of all, I think we should insist at the outset of calling him by his real named comic Dave Smith. I mean, what does he know about anything? That was a long, long time ago. He should not be platformed for anything except on how to be an expert on being a comedian, never actually writing anything funny. I mean, has he ever been to any of these places he ever opines about? I don't think he has. Have you been? Well, of course I've been, but he's never been anywhere.

37:59We'll get to where I've been in a moment. But as far as I can tell, he's only ever been to America. He's never been to Israel. He's never been to the Gaza. What does he know about Hamas? He doesn't know anything about... I mean, his level of intellect is so low that he would literally make a dumb and dumber, even dumber if they had to listen to him.

38:26Francis Foster:So coming back to have you been, have you been? Well of course I've been. I've been to a lot of it. I don't like to talk about anywhere, even in passing, unless I've at least been there. Have you ever been? That's the question. Have you ever been? Have you been to any of the places about which you opine? I don't think so. I've been to Israel. I've dined with Prime Minister Netanyahu. I've been to the IDF headquarters in Tel Aviv. I've sat in the chair of Yair Sinwar. I've been to these places. I don't think anybody should be talking about anything unless they've at least been there. No. No.

39:07Konstantin Kisin:So Douglas, this is a question I've wanted to ask you for the longest time. Who is your favourite member of the LGBTQIA plus community? I suppose it's rather like asking which of Comic David Smith's jokes are the worst of so many to choose from. I mean, if I really had to choose which is the worst cretin of that little so-called community, I mean, it would have to be Owen Jones, wouldn't it? It's too bad that there isn't an F in LGBTQ, the freak, which he would, of course, exclusively occupy. I mean, he's just another one of these people whose rationale is so unfathomable to me. I mean, he seems to be hell-bent on positioning himself as the architect of importing the equivalent of Chop Chop Square into London, of which he, of course, would be the first victim for obvious reasons.

40:07He's like a little hare attempting to ingratiate himself with the wolf. His thought process is unfathomable to me. And he's totally repellent. Totally repellent.

40:20Konstantin Kisin:Well, on that very subject, how much would we have to pay here at Trigg to get you to go on a date with Owen? We'll crowdfund it. Yeah. Oh, I mean, it's a very strange kind of question, that, isn't it? I mean, I suppose it's a very strange line of questioning. I suppose it's kind of like me asking you, respectively, who would you rather go? and how much would I have to pay you to go on a date with, in your case, Leonid Brezhnev, or in your case, Nicolas Maduro, although I suppose I have a sneaky suspicion that you would like to meet with Nicolas Maduro in some capacity if only to remind him that you two are Venezuelan.

40:55But no, truthfully, I mean, no amount of money could get me. I mean, what would that date even look like? I can see it now, picture it now for two hours, sitting across a dinner table from Owen Jones, the reprehensible Owen Jones as he harangues me on why the tablecloths are racist for being white. No, I wouldn't do that. I mean, I don't know what the amount is exactly, but I will say this, and this is very difficult to admit publicly. I think rather than go on a date with Owen Jones, I'd probably rather sit through an entire set of comic Dave Smith or be lectured to on the art of sanity by Candace Owens, all of which are enough to make one want to wrap a 50 kilogram weight around your head and dive into the deepest part of the Pacific headfirst.

41:45I can see it now. The headlines would be the strange death of Douglas Murray.

41:56Konstantin Kisin:Gary's Economics, it's been a long time coming, but welcome to the show. So firstly, why are you quitting public life? Because I'm tired. I'm tired. Listen, I'm going to be honest, right? When you have come from being the most unprofitable peasant in Vilford to being the most profitable trader in Citibank, it is tiring. I cannot carry this cross alone. The peasants have got to do it. The peasants have got to get the poor people at home, like you, have got to get your act together and tax the rich. I'm tired. I'm quitting. So why are you back? Why are you doing this interview? you? Because I got tired of quitting.

42:37I got tired of quitting. Listen, if I don't come back into the podcast space and my campaign, listen, I don't need to do this, right? I could be like playing Crusader King Sioux, traveling in fucking Japan. I don't need to be here. By the way, I learn a lot more history in economics from Crusader King Sioux. But I'm coming back to save the peasants at home. I'm a bit like Robin Hood, right? I don't I am the one that speaks truth to power and cause for taxing the super rich. You've got to tax the super rich. Otherwise, I'm just going to get tired again.

43:14Konstantin Kisin:How often do you get tired? I just get tired all the time. Listen, first it started with Gary's economics, which now we should name Mr. Trigonomics or whatever. But I got tired of Quittinomics. Quittinomics is tiring. When you have learned everything that there is to know in economics, right, And you are Citibank's most profitable trader And also you've got a degree from LSE at Oxford Listen, I'm going to be honest It's all time I don't need to be here I don't even want to be here I'm doing it for you Thank you Gary, I appreciate that So if wealth taxes don't work Should we still implement them?

43:58What is the alternative? Listen, what is the alternative? if you don't start taxing the super rich now, right? Listen, how much passive income do you make? On this question, how much passive income do you make? Just being here, it's hundreds of thousands of pounds, right? You've got to be taxed. You've got to be taxed.

44:16Francis Foster:We don't make any passive income. What are you talking about? You make passive income just from when you are sitting there on your YouTube channel. I don't know how it works. Right. Right? You are not doing anything. That is passive income. So you're saying you make hundreds of thousands of pounds on passive income. I'm saying that you, listen. I'm going to be honest. I do not want to just tax the rich because I hate the rich. I don't have a problem with the rich. I own a lot of fucking assets, right? How many? How wealthy are you? So I'm calling for a tax on the super rich of anything above 10 million pounds.

44:5010 million pounds. And what's your wealth? 9 million, 999 pounds, 99 pence. So listen, I'm part of the Patriot Millionaires. I, if I could, I would pay tax. Listen, I want to get taxed. I want to get a fucking government, don't tax me.

45:07Francis Foster:You know there's a website the government has where you can go and pay tax voluntarily if you feel strongly about needing to pay more tax. But I'm tired. Too tired of that. Listen, it's not like I could be anywhere that I want. It's not like I'm going to start going out, trying to sign up, saying tax me, tax me, tax me. No, what the government needs is a system in place to just get taxing people like me, making millions of pounds. It is hard making millions of pounds. I don't want to make millions of pounds. I don't want it. So? I'm doing it for you.

45:40Konstantin Kisin:You're doing it for me. I'm doing it for both of you and the peasants at home. And the peasants at home. So you're worth£9 ,999 ,999.99. Precisely, yeah. And what is the threshold that you want to bring in? £10 million. Why is that, Gary? That's the fair way to do it. Listen, that is the difference between... Listen, you two laugh at it, but that is the difference between super rich and rich. I don't know how much you're worth. I would estimate about£20 million. You should be paying... Which percent? Otherwise, listen, the richer you're going to get richer, the poorer you're going to get poorer.

46:22It is very simple. And then the consequences is I'm going to own everything. I don't want to own everything. I'm tired of it.

46:29Francis Foster:So, Gary, this is a question I've always wanted to ask you, mate. Why do you dress like you're homeless? Well, listen, when I wrote my book, which you should buy, not to make me any more millions of pounds, I don't want it, I called my sister, right? And she was like, listen, you've got to be a dickhead. Till I appeal to the peasants, the poor people, the scum, you've got to be you've got to be a dickhead so i actually own all the clothes at home right i if you go into the high street now the reality is you will not find any clothes because i know i can own all of them and but i don't have to wear them i own all of the clothes and assets you'll get from the high street you will not find any because because i'm so rich i can just buy everything but i want to remind all the i suppose it is my job to just act like a peasant so i dress like a homeless person look like a dickhead sound like a dickhead and despite that still be city bank's most profitable trader with a degree from an nsc in oxford oh gary one of the things i found interesting is right you're quitting because you're tired because the work is too much why is one youtube video a week too much work listen i'm going to be honest right when i was at oxford i was doing one essay a week one essay a week on economics but the poor are getting poorer the rich get richer and i decided i didn't want to give it to the professors anymore because they honestly they didn't know i had some awkward work the professors at oxford knew a call about economics and tax inequality.

48:12So I remember I would see all these professors and these little Oxford wankers, right, wearing a little cape. So I decided I was going to make a YouTube channel. I made a YouTube channel. Obviously, I was getting 20 ,000 new subscribers a day, making millions of pounds. People subscribed to the Patreon, where I make millions of pounds. Don't want those millions of pounds. And honestly, it just became the Gary Stevenson show. I didn't want it anymore. You know, I don't need to do this. I can just go to fucking Japan, play Crusader Kingsu. It just became too much, so I quit. Did you enjoy a time at Oxford?

48:47That is just Oxford wankers who don't understand economics. You know, I just rock up. Everywhere in Oxford, right, they make you wear that little Oxford wanker cape. I just go in my ACs and my little hoodie, my beanie hat or whatever, and they charge me 30 fucking grand. I want my fucking money back. Not that I need it.

49:09Francis Foster:So Gary, what's the one thing we're not talking about that we really should be? How tired I am. It is a real thing. Being tired is something that... People talk about mental health, people talk about tax inequality, I'm talking about that. I can't do it alone. I'm like Jesus. I'm like a prophet for Citibank. Now I'm like a prophet for the peasants. And being tired is a real thing. I think you've got to have a little bit of sympathy for that. Alright mate, thanks for coming on, can I have a biscuit? No, these are mine, I own these fucking biscuits

49:44Konstantin Kisin:James O 'Brien, what a pleasure it is to have you on the show Are you right about everything? Yes, I find it utterly discombobulating that you would even ask such a racist question I mean, I wrote a book on this a few years ago called How to Always Be Right and I'm currently writing a sequel, which probably YouTube wannabe black shirts should consider reading. It's called How to Stop Being Far Right About Absolutely Everything. I don't remember the last time that anybody called in on national radio and proved me wrong about anything, whether that was about Brexit, Brexit, Brexit, Brexit, or the birth that is a curse of Nigel Farage, or Donald Trump, who is responsible for absolutely everything that goes wrong in this world, up to and including, spoiler alert, the fact that I was forced against my will when I was a child to go to a private school.

50:38And ten minutes past ten is not even the time, mate.

50:45Konstantin Kisin:James, what's the most dangerous thing in society? Is it the grooming gangs or is it the people exploiting the grooming gangs? I don't think that you could even argue that it's the grooming gangs which do not actually even exist or they are of course radically exaggerated by wannabe stormtroopers like yourselves. I mean it's absolutely discombobulating that you'd make an exaggeration like that of such a gargantuan scale. We are of course at the moment facing an economic crisis unprecedented as a result of Brexit so I don't think you could argue. Ergo we are of course worse off for it but Do you two care about it?

51:23Of course you don't. Of course you don't. You couldn't give a sausage, not a flying fig, not a scintilla. You couldn't care less about the consequences of your racist actions. Questions, could you?

51:34Konstantin Kisin:Well, why do you hate Brexit so much? I think it is good. Well, we all know the reason for that. It has brought out of the woodwork all of the fascists, all of the racists, all of the bigots, all of the footballification, the people who you either stand with as we are white, we are right, we are white. I mean, what else is there to say about it? I don't think I've necessarily said enough about it on national radio, but I don't think there's anything really to like.

52:01Francis Foster:And are you worried about climate change? Well, it'd be far less worried about it if you two would stop spewing your bilge and bile every single day with your verbal pollution and ripping a hole through the ozone layer. We're ripping a hole in ozone layer. Well, I think that's an ineluctable fact, mate. I don't think anybody would dispute that. I mean, you constantly spew off information, which, spoiler alert, you get from your Aunty Doris' Facebook page. You know, I think we should do a phone-in. Should we consider doing a phone-in about whether you two should just reduce your verbal pollution to net zero?

52:39Should we do that? 0345 60 60 973. And you will get through. The lines are open now. You will get through, unless, of course, you are a disgusting, bilious, toxic dump of a human being like the two people in front of me from trigonometry. And of course, unless you are one of the 51.9 % who voted Brexit the fascists, and that's not an opinion, that's just counting me. So the question that I have for callers today is, should Constantine Kissin and Francis Foster stop speaking altogether? And how does it make you feel when they do? How does it make you feel?

53:18Francis Foster:James, how do you manage to stay so humble? When it's time to admit that I'm a mug, basically, when I know that I've been taken for a mug. Like with Jason Ardy? With Jason Ardy, although I wouldn't do anything differently necessarily. I wouldn't do a single thing differently. That is humility at its finest. I don't know why I would have to. I mean, I quite literally went from drinking from the largest mug on national radio to actually being the largest mug on national radio. And I think it's important to accept when you're wrong, which is never in my case. And you've talked about fascism a lot in this interview.

53:55Francis Foster:Yes, yes. Why would you say everyone's become a fascist now? Well, because they are. And I think the onus is on you, mate, to actually prove me wrong, which you would never do, because I am never wrong. You know, talking of mugs, if I look down at this mug and I remove you two from it, your faces from it, what do you see from that? It'd be a red circle. What do you see from that? Have you guessed it yet? No. Swastika. It's almost, you're onto something there. It's almost the colours of National Socialism in Germany. What do you think of that? Red and white. I'm going to repeat that again. Oh, thank you.

54:30I said if I remove your face, not your hair. Again, I can never be wrong.

54:34Francis Foster:Right. So you'd get red, black and white. Do I need to say any more than that? Does that not prove my point? that I'm 100 % right and you two are fascists.

54:48Konstantin Kisin:What does fascism mean, James? I think you epitomise fascism.

54:57You're making me late for the headlines, mate.

55:01Francis Foster:James, thank you for coming on the show. What would you say is the one thing we're not talking about that we really should be? Brexit. We don't talk about Brexit enough. I think really we should be. And how all the callers that call in are bilious, toxic dumps of human beings. Holly Watts is here with your headlines, mate. What I'm about to show you should make a few very expensive brands quite uncomfortable because it proves how much of the price tag is just the name. Most of you are skeptical of marketing on principle and you're usually right to be. So here is a product built on the opposite idea.

55:39Francis Foster:This episode is sponsored by dupe.com and the idea behind it is refreshingly simple. A lot of what you're paying for when you buy expensive furniture, clothes or accessories isn't quality. It's the name on the label and the marketing that got you to that page in the first place. dupe.com finds you the same look, the same quality, often made in the same factory, for a fraction of the price. You paste in the link to whatever it is you are eyeing or upload a photo of it and dupe shows you close matches that cost significantly less. We've actually been using dupe here at Trigonometry. We searched Dupe for equipment we would have paid thousands of pounds for, and what it found instead was something that did the same job for hundreds.

56:18Francis Foster:Using dupe.com is genuinely simple. Go to dupe.com, paste a product link, or upload a photo, and it'll show you similar items for a lot less. There's an app and a browser extension too if you want it even easier. No account needed, completely free. dupe.com, go find yourself a better price.

56:41Konstantin Kisin:Piers Morgan, welcome back to Trigonometry. First question is, do you feel like your humility has got in the way of your success? Well, hang on, hang on, hang on. First of all, I just want to say, I've noticed that you two are wearing makeup, right? I'm not wearing any makeup at all. So you're looks maxing, aren't you? You know where I learned that from, don't you? Special guest of mine, Clavicular. Do you know him? Yeah, you're a fan. Well, listen, I've got a son that's his age. He thinks I'm really cool. I'm going to have a beer with him, actually. Come on, 20 years old. Says I'm quite handsome.

57:11Says I know how to moo. Look at this. Do you know what mewing is? What's that? So listen, you talk about whether humility is ruined. I know what you're referring to, right? What you're referring to essentially is that I upload on Instagram. Hang on, don't interrupt. I upload on Instagram every single restaurant that nobody else can afford, right? Hang on, hang on, hang on. You know what I mean? I upload every single one because I'm trying to remind people that if they're like me and they just wake up, which is of course the name of one of my books, available in all fine bookstores everywhere, they can also be like me.

57:50You wish you were like me, don't you? You can see it in your eyes.

57:56Konstantin Kisin:I suppose the question on everybody's lips is, what are your thoughts on Nigel Farage? Well, I'll tell you what I think of him. He's a treacherous little worm. I'll tell you why. He tried, and you both know it. I had an interview with Donald Trump. Good friend of mine, by the way. I had an interview. I'm friends with a lot of people. Every time someone dies, I upload an image of them with me. So I had an interview with Donald Trump and that little treacherous worm tried to sabotage it thinking that he's better friends with him than me and that's claptrap. That's a bullshit. You know that right?

58:31That's a bullshit. Who won the US Apprentice? Me. Did he? No. You wish you won it didn't you? Could you do that? By the way, do you condemn Nigel Farage?

58:43Francis Foster:For what? Well just condemn him. We just randomly condemn Nigel Farage. Yeah, condemn him. Five million quid, or randomly, can be for any reason. What he did to me, treacherous little worm. Condemn him, do you condemn him or not? Hang on, hang on. Simple question, do you condemn Nigel Farage or not? No. No. Well, I don't think we can continue this conversation then. Well, hang on. No, you hang on. Don't tell me to hang on. No, I tell people to hang on. You hang on for me, right? Right. Do you condemn Hamas?

59:16Konstantin Kisin:Yes, I condemn Hamas. You condemn Hamas. What about you? I absolutely condemn Hamas. All right. Okay. Continue. Do you condemn Israel? Hmm. Well, I'll tell you what it is about Israel, right? Nobody's been more pro-Israel than me. I've also sat on the fence with all of it, right? Because I think it's important, cutting-edge journalism, which I suppose we'll get to in a moment. I'm not going to condemn Israel. I'm also not going to condone it.

59:38Francis Foster:No. So, speaking of journalism, do you think your YouTube channel is cutting-edge journalism? Well, I think it is. And I think everybody sees that. And the reason for that is as follows. Everybody knows that I believe in free speech, right? Uncensored for a reason. So I think the best way to have interviews and conduct interviews

59:56Konstantin Kisin:is have five lunatics screaming over each other. Well, hang on! So nobody can hear, right? Nobody can hear a word that they're saying. And I've got some of the best guests. Not only Clavicula, we spoke about. Brilliant guests. We've also got people like Rabbi Schmooling, absolute pleasure to look at and to hear. Got people like Andrew Tate, who are pints on absolutely everything, knowing absolutely nothing about absolutely anything. Right? Then we've got people like Dave Smith, whose knowledge, as you two know, is unmatched. Doesn't think like a little girl at all. Cutting-edge journalism. Who is your favourite journalist, Piers?

1:00:29Well, it's me, obviously. Least unexpected answer in history. My brother, who's a colonel in the armed forces, agrees with me. What do you think of that? What do you think of that? I'll tell you why I'm the best one, because nobody, nobody in the journalist business delegates like I do. I've been saying for a long time that Israel needs to open its border, right? I've been calling for that, right? You know that. Now, if Israel opens the Gaza border, I'd be the very first to delegate somebody to go and check it out. And then I'd get behind my desk and I'd talk about it. I'd tell you about it. I wouldn't go there.

1:01:03No. Why should I? Not only that, I also bring you aesthetic beauty. Did you see when I touched Ronaldo's abs? Did you see that? What do you think of that? What do you think of it? Who else has touched Ronaldo's abs? Quite a lot of people, I imagine.

1:01:20Konstantin Kisin:Yeah, mainly Ronaldo, actually. Mainly him, yeah. Not everyone gets aroused by it. I do. Ronaldo does. I'm not ashamed of it.

1:01:28Francis Foster:Speaking of beauty and being aroused, would you have a go on a day with Meghan Markle? Absolutely not. No way. You know what? She stalked me. She sent me messages non-stop begging me to go out. She was begging for it, basically on her knees. I said, I don't want to be whipped where I'm from. I'm a man, right? Alpha male. I'm not a wuss, but I do know a gingerbread prince who wants to be whipped. So I shut her in a taxi and I said, go and whip him. But what do you think of that? Meghan Markle wanted me. I inspire you.

1:02:01Konstantin Kisin:I mean, there's a lot of people, Piers, who say that you really fancy her and that's the way that you behaved the way that you did with her. No, no. It's not true. She fancied me. She wouldn't stop. I think it was my slim-fitted shirts that she was attracted to. I've been working out recently. What do you think of this? I've been working out. Haven't you? Mm-hmm. Can you tell? Hang on. Can you tell?

1:02:24Francis Foster:Piers. Piers. Hang on. Continue. Piers. Hang on. Go. Am I allowed to talk now? Oh, yeah. You sure? Well, I can censor or unsensor you, of course. Makes sense. What's the final thing? See, I can't even ask the question now. You interrupted me so many times. What's the thing that we're not talking about that we really shouldn't be? Cristiano Ronaldo's abs and my brother who was a colonel in the armed forces. My brother was a colonel in the armed forces. Really? Yeah, nobody talks about it.

1:03:03Konstantin Kisin:Russell Brand, welcome to Trigonometry How long have you been a Christian for and did it have anything to do with the allegation? Before I answer that question I would like to take this opportunity to penetrate both of you with a little bit of prayer to the Lord so I'd like you to do me a favour and just grope your hands together and just flaccidate yourselves and close your eyes and do not open them until I've instrucated you after I've whispered prayer into the Lord's ear hole. Heavenly Father, shine both of your breasts on these two podcasters, Francis Foster and Constantine Kissing, and forgive them for they know not what they do.

1:03:42They do not know what they do. And I wonder if you could provide them, Lord, with the wisdomisation and wankulation to prevent them, to prevent them from falling for the titillating temptations that are made against them to put before me a clitony of questions that have been put before them and squirt me with those questions that have been put before them, no doubt, by a big farmer and big government, which are designed, of course, to assassinate my character, with which you have impregnated me. Lord, please give me the strength to be their rock. Please let us be there for one another, to support one another, to guide one another, so that when they open their eyes upon my instruction, they may accept, as I exclaim, that I am, by God's grace, their new Lord.

1:04:22You may now open your eyes.

1:04:29You may now proceed to procreate your question

1:04:32Konstantin Kisin:Well, I guess you didn't answer my first question, Russell Which is a lot of people are looking at your newfound conversion to Christianity And thinking to themselves, well, does it have anything to do with the impending court case? Well, listen, becoming a Christian is not something that I think that you actually do I don't think I became a Christian, I think I was born a Christian I guess you could say people would describe it as a born-again Christian. But the truth is, it is only when you understand and realize, without the sweet milk of the Lord, you're not able to germinate, you're not able to inseminate people and fertilize the world with his love and his word and wankify it.

1:05:11So it's not that I take offense or anything like that by the question, ultimately, we're here to have a dialogue, all of us. But I do take a little bit of cumbridge with the idea that I may have actually converted to Christianity in order to deflect or distract from any of my cases. You've got to understand, I'm a very different person to what I was a few years ago. I was a wankager. I'm a very different person now. I'm a God-fearing, testicularising man. And I've elevated to make it my life's missionary to amplify his word and fertilise the world with his word in a moment of love and passion.

1:05:46Konstantin Kisin:Do you have anything to say about the court case? You're facing serious allegations, Russell. After I become a Christian in seven days, right, I was able to internalise and understand that this is not actually a trial by social media or media or even the criminal justice system or the authorities that be. No, rather, this is a trial that has been sentient to me by God himself, a trial. What a thing to embrace, what a thing to love and to cherish. So I'm no longer frightened of the long rod of the Lord. I actually welcome the long, hard and swelled rod of the Lord to spanky-ate me if I need that.

1:06:20We could all do a little bit of a spiritual spankylation now and again. And that is what I want from the Lord. See, you've got to understand, essentially, by making that little change in that moment of meditation, what I'm able to do, that mind shift, I'm able, I believe, to lubricate this entire process. I'm able to thrust myself into the spotlight of God, which is, I like to call it, the spiritual G-spot.

1:06:43Konstantin Kisin:And do you think these allegations... Yes. Lord save these two poor souls engineered in an attempt to silence you in your message? Well it's no coincidence to me and it's nothing new to me that the government would try to silence me what I've actually been describing this as recently is that I believe that this is part of a governmental threesome strategy that has been employed against me so the first part of the threesome strategy is the accusation itself being allegated against me, that allegation is there in order to scare people in order to convince people that they need protection or condomization.

1:07:19They need that protection. That's what they need. And that is the ultimate thing which is going to convince people to perform certain acts that under normal circumstances they wouldn't necessarily perform. And so once they've got you there, they've got you in the second part of the threesome strategy, that is control. They convince you that you need protecting from somebody like me, and then you need to be controlled. So they've got you in that position, physically, literally, and metaphorically, bent over on all fours, stripped down to your bare nakedity so they can perform their final action and thrust themselves into you and that final action is something which I actually talk about in my book how I become a Christian in seven days there's actually a chapter on it it's called total sexpropriation and condomination they completely condominate you and that so I'm no stranger to all of this strategy it's nothing new to me I know that the government and wants me to not speak out against big government it doesn't want me to speak out against big pharma it doesn't want me to speak out against the industrial military climax.

1:08:12It doesn't want me to. It doesn't want me to scrotimize against any of these people. And now that I've labiated myself, I realise that I will continue to act. It doesn't matter what they try and do to silence me. I will continue to act as God's fallopian tube, his little conduit to fertilise this world with love and passion,

1:08:32Francis Foster:spiritual passion. Do you think it's possible that you're a bit of a narcissist, Russell? I think it's an interesting question. I think back in the day when I was a wankager, I think maybe I was a little bit of a narcissist. I think that narcissism is always very confusing to me when I was growing up because I used to see, I used to look at politics and I'd see you had all these isms. You had progressivism, liberalism, conservatism, you know, fascism, communism and all that. I also found it a little bit quick-psychated. And so what I actually did, I thought, well, there's no ideology that suits the head of this, which is what I was when I was a wankager.

1:09:07So I created the wankology of wankism.

1:09:10Francis Foster:Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, Russell, sorry. I'm getting a bit lost in the linguistics here. You're very, you know, articulate. Yes, yes. What did you, you were a what, sorry? I was a wankist. What's a wankist? It's someone who, it's a hedonist. It was more in my salacious date. Ah, it's a hedonist. Yeah, it's someone who, exactly. Oh, OK. I love how this communication with love, I love you at the moment. I really do. I'm taking this moment to love you and looking at you, loving you, and praying for you. I'll forgive you. Feels very authentic, thank you. It's very authentic. Let me just take a moment.

1:09:44I love you. Thank you. So what was I saying? So I traded in wankism for fankism. I'm now creating my new ideology because I appreciate the blessings that the Lord himself has given me, the bona fide blessings. So yeah, I've traded that in now. Was I a bit of a narcissist? Yeah, maybe it was a little bit of a wank plank

1:10:02Francis Foster:of my wankyology, but not anymore. And would you like to still be making Hollywood movies? Wanky-lutely not. You see, I want nothing to do with Hollywood because, listen, back when I was writing, I did enjoy it, but I don't crave those things anymore. I don't want superficial things. I don't want money. It's not interesting to me, all these things that really don't mean much. They give you a little bit of instant gratification. having said that there was something interesting that happened that I don't really talk about too publicly very often but I will I will share it with you lads just because I'm I'm forgiving both of you at the moment I will say that I did submit a script recently to Hollywood some agents that were talking to me back in the day they don't talk to me anymore I submitted a script where I thought well what if I write something that's going to do good that's going to spread love that's going to warn people about the impending threats that are surrounding us artificial intelligence, humanoids, robots, things that we cannot even comprehend, let alone understand.

1:10:58So what if I write something like that now to do good in the world? And I actually wanted it as a warning. I wanted it to be like kind of warning people, like a spin-off of The Terminator, that we're about to be enslaved to a master. And I think they actually liked, the agents actually liked it in Hollywood, but I don't think they accepted it, probably because of the name that I wanted to come up with.

1:11:15Konstantin Kisin:What's the name? Masturbator. You know, Russell, you keep saying that you forgive us? Why do you need to forgive us? What have we done wrong? It's about vaselineating this conversation, making it very durexability, making it very durable. And I feel that from forgiveness, you can learn to love me. I can actually inseminate you with holy water right now. And I do that mentally and spiritually. I do that mentally and spiritually. I'm not talking about in a physical space. Those days are behind me. I'm talking about in a spiritual place. And I actually am inseminating you with holy water right now.

1:11:46And I'm praying for you and I love you and I think that everything that we do right now think about all the joy that we're bringing to the world right now think about that imagine if you hadn't asked me that question right now I wouldn't have been able to copulate you which is what I do do you you seem a bit

1:12:01Konstantin Kisin:obsessed with sex to me Russell do you reckon that's a fair criticism that was just they were back in my days like I said when I was a wankager wankily not anymore and I think there's quite a wanktagonistic question that you're asking me there I really do I think now it's not about sex Of course, the Lord encourages sex, but in a spiritual way. And that's how I feel about you. I want to have spiritual sex with both of you now on this table, please. Do you think you're a bit of a cult leader, Russell? I think I'm the only person who has spoken out against the COVID-19 vaccine. And I think people follow me.

1:12:35And I think that is what the big government doesn't like. That is what the big tech companies don't like. The industrial ministry climax, like I said earlier, that is what they don't like. So people follow me. And what do they do? they ban me they stop me from talking they stop me trying to silenify me that's what they try and do but they're not going to succeed because I love them too much

1:12:52Francis Foster:and even if they do I will do it with a smile and Russell final question as you know on the show is always the same what's the one thing we're not talking about that we should be certainly how to become a Christian in seven days that by reading that I want to say on a serious note you will learn to condomise yourself when I say condomise yourself I mean protect yourselves You will surround your entire being, your entire body with protection, a layer of protection And you'll be able to think about your words You'll be able to think about the consequences of your words and actions in some other people's cases Court cases

1:13:28Konstantin Kisin:Russell, final question actually for me is what's your favourite Bible passage and why? Right, I was happy that you asked that

1:13:39Francis Foster:Russell, I can't help noticing that's not a Bible is a copy of The Wealth of Nations by Adam Smith. Yeah. And I think it's important to read out my favourite passage from that, if you'll allow me. It was put upon the same footing with gold and silver mines which the Lord, without a special clause in the charter of the Lord's word and his shepherd, were never supposed to be comprehended with sexual being in the general grant of the lands, the fertile lands and the eggs. though mines of lead, copper, tin and coal were as things of smaller consequences condomination smaller consequences that's why you should read my book how to become a Christian in seven days thanks for coming on my pleasure my spiritual insemination pleasure

1:14:34Francis Foster:Elon, we've been trying to make this happen for a very long time Thanks for coming on the show. Yeah, yeah, it's my pleasure. Well, it's great to have you on. Would you say autism is your superpower? I'd say that having autism allows you to say pretty much whatever you want and get away with it. And when you also have the world's largest social media platform and the biggest in the universe, you're all kind of screwed. So, yeah, autism is a superpower. Superpower. Awesome. And how are you able to do all the things that you do and still be on Twitter 24-7? An ex, sorry. Sorry. Yes. So when people ask me that, I always just say, I'm not actually human.

1:15:36When you're kind of made up of humanoid and South African human and artificial intelligence, you're actually able to do a lot more than people think. So yeah, autism, humanoid, and artificial intelligence, not being human. That's kind of how I'm able to do it.

1:16:01Francis Foster:And a personal question, if I may. How many kids do you have? It's kind of like my bank balance. You can't really calculate. I could have another one right now. I can actually hear in the artificial intelligence that is in me now that I have another one right now. Probably in the trillions.

1:16:23I'd also like to admonish you for even asking questions that really don't concern you. As the richest man in the world, I can just tell you to go fuck yourself. You can? Yeah, that's what I'm going to do. Awesome, go fuck yourself.

1:16:42Konstantin Kisin:I mean, what is it like being the richest man in the world? Well, that's the beauty of it. You can just tell everybody to go fuck themselves. And you don't really have to worry about it. Also, it kind of gives me the time that I need to focus on things that are really important, like stand-up comedy. Yeah, I get to... I'm just sort of a joke now. Yeah, I'm going to test my material on you now. So what do you call a place in space on Mars where really cool people hang out? Mars bar.

1:17:28Yeah, it's a really awesome comedy. I just thought of another one, too. I just thought, so what do you call a bank balance of a trillion dollars? an elongated bank balance I'm going to tweet that post it, sorry, awesome joke

1:17:56comments back, yeah

1:17:57Konstantin Kisin:Why do you support Restore? I think I support the people who actually want to make the United Kingdom great again and reverse some of the things that your governments have done over the years, and I think Restore is the only party that's going to do that. I mean, look at what your country has become. Look at Luton, where my friend Tom Robinson is from. I mean, it used to be a paradise, and now it is the Luton. Great joke. Only the British would understand that. And I just thought of another joke actually, can I test that? So an Englishman, an Irishman, a Scotsman and a Welshman walk into a bar in Luton.

1:18:54And they say, we want a drink. And the bartender says, no, please leave. And they say, why, we just want a drink. And he says, no, you don't understand, we don't serve foreigners. because the British people are foreigners in Luton now. So, yeah, awesome job.

1:19:17Konstantin Kisin:And finally, just a personal question for you, Elon. I mean, how many baby mamas do you have at the moment? It's another thing that I don't actually even have the answer to. And again, I'd like to admonish you for asking things that are just personal. And again, I will tell you to go fuck yourself. You couldn't even calculate it, even if you wanted to. You couldn't do it. The only thing that could do that would be a special chip of artificial intelligence that's lodged in my brain.

1:19:52Francis Foster:Elon, what's the one thing we're not talking about that we should be?

1:20:01Yeah, that's a good question. Probably AOC and the left, and also the trans movement, the woke mind virus that has destroyed our planet and universe. And what about AOC? She tried to come on to me a few times and some bullshit, and I just... I mean, she looks pretty good. But I'm not particularly interested in her anymore.

1:20:36Konstantin Kisin:Would you have a baby with AOC? If I had a baby with AOC, I just thought of another joke. What do you call a baby born to AOC and Elon Musk? A trillion dollar baby. Yeah, any baby born to Elon Musk, actually. So, yeah, awesome joke.

1:21:07Francis Foster:President Trump, welcome to Trigonometry. First question, why are you the greatest president in history? Because I've done so much for the country, and you know that better than anybody. We have the ballroom. We're fixing the ballroom. The ballroom's going to get done, and you know that. You know, we've had the UFC. We had the UFC fight. You guys saw that, right? Yeah. Yeah, we had that. We had that. It was just an incredible event. Some say the likes of which the world has never seen, actually, when you think about it. And it's not even close. And we're just getting so much done. You know, things that people never thought were possible.

1:21:42They thought it was never possible. But it is possible. And I'm getting it done. And the most important thing, you know what it is, right? The ballroom. We've got to get the ballroom. I was going to say the Middle East. No, no, no, no. Why don't you just shut your mouth for a minute? Why don't you just be quiet? Why don't you be quiet and listen to your favorite president? It's the ballroom. The American people, they voted for it, and they won it more than anything. They don't want all these other things. They don't want to talk about the Middle East. That's people like you on your stupid podcast.

1:22:12Just putting the war effort down because you're a bad person, actually.

1:22:16Francis Foster:How are you going to bring peace to the Middle East, though? Well, I actually already have, and everybody knows that. A lot of people are saying it, except you and you. You know, they have the Abraham, of course. You're familiar with that, right? Maybe you've heard of it, a little thing called the Abraham, of course. They probably haven't even heard of it. So much nicer to say Abraham than Abraham, right? I have Hamas. You know, they're calling me up every day. They say, sir, sir, there's too much peace here in the Middle East. There's too much peace. We can't deal with it. I say, no, you're going to have peace.

1:22:48You know, we created the Board of Peace. And actually Hamas is starting to get a little bit bored of peace, actually. So I already have done that. And when you think about it as well, the Straits of Hormuz and the Iranian army totally and utterly obliterated. And the Straits of Hormuz isn't the Straits of Hormuz anymore. No, no, it's the Straits of America.

1:23:09Francis Foster:Yeah, that's true. That's true, actually. It's still closed, though, right? No, it's totally open. You know, that's just a nasty question. You're such a nasty guy. we've opened it and there's more shipping you know they thought it was going to be closed they thought this isn't going to open again I got it open you understand that or are you a stupid person are you stupid I don't think so you just must be a dumb person the Straits of America is open and you know that better than anybody you see he doesn't want to say it he doesn't want to say it but he knows it's true right no yeah he doesn't want to say it he doesn't want to do you feel the war the Iran war was a good idea Yeah, I do.

1:23:51I do. Actually, I think it was a very good idea. Look, it's very simple. Iran can never be allowed a nuclear weapon. And you know, I hear all this negative talk on your podcast. You've been very nasty to me, both of you, actually, saying it was a bad idea. Oh, Donald Trump shouldn't have done this. No, no. I had to do it. And, you know, I also hear negativity about the Russia. Remember that little war, Russia and Ukraine, Ukraine? Let me ask you a question. You're from Moscow originally, right? I've done my research on you. Why didn't you tell me about what Putin was going to do? Why didn't you tell me about it?

1:24:26Like the Japanese, they never told me about Pearl Harbor. You could have done it. And as for you, you know, you're Venezuelan. I called you. I said to you, I said, do you know where Maduro is? Do you remember that phone call? I called it the perfect phone call. It was a perfect phone call actually And it's not even close And you said to me No no no sir You sounded like Emmanuel Macron You said no no sir Can I give you the coordinates I didn't even want your help I didn't need your help But you were very nasty to me And the Iranian war has been a wonderful success And it's winding down anyway by the way You're such nasty people

1:25:02Konstantin Kisin:We've been trying to get you on trigonometry for so long That's right Why is it taking you so long? Well, because you've been so nasty. We've been nasty. You've been so bad. You've been so bad, the both of you, and all you do is spread bad news. And half the time it's not even fake. And your ratings are terrible, by the way. Why should I give you ratings? You call me up and you say, sir, sir, please. We want you to come and trigger normatry. I'm actually doing this as a favor to a friend. I don't want to be here for you. You don't really deserve it. You're actually worse than Rosie O'Donnell. Yeah, and it's pretty bad.

1:25:37Yeah, you're worse. You're worse, actually. Some say worse. A lot of people are saying that, actually. And you know that better than anybody. Why are we worse than Rosie O'Donnell? I'm actually genuinely offended. Because you're just disgusting people. And she was also disgusting. She was also a disgusting person and is a disgusting person. Look, Iran could never be allowed a nuclear weapon, right? So we have to go to war with them. And all you do is just talk badly about it. I don't appreciate that very much at all. And I will tear the hell out of you, by the way. He thinks I'm joking. I'm not joking at all.

1:26:12I will tear the hell out of you.

1:26:13Konstantin Kisin:I don't think you're joking. I think you're being deadly serious, Mr President. By the way, the studio's a shithole. What's wrong with the studio? It reminds me of some of these shithole countries that we have to do business with. It's just quite similar. I don't know. I just get a bad feeling about it. Just a bad feeling.

1:26:30Francis Foster:I thought it was the greatest studio in the world. No, it's a shithole. It's a shit. Yeah. You should have granite. You should have marble. You should have gold. You don't have any of that. It's fake, actually. Everything about it is fake. In fact, you're fake. Whiff? Yeah. You're not even here. You're fake.

1:26:45Konstantin Kisin:Are you even happy to be in the UK, Mr. President? Well, I will say that it's not recognized. It's not recognizable. That I will say. And you know that better than anybody. You walk down the street, I don't know who I'm looking at. Everybody is a man or a woman or they claim to be a man or a woman. You have men in women's sports here, right? And your new prime minister, I mean, your old one, he was not Churchill. That I will say. I think your new one's worse. We'll agree with you on that. I think he's worse, actually.

1:27:13Francis Foster:It's a very good point, Mr. President. The only thing that would be worse is if you two ever run for politics. You better not do that. Yeah. We won't.

1:27:21Konstantin Kisin:No, we definitely won't. I mean, I'm quite taken aback by that. You're in a state of shock. I'm in a state of shock. You're in a state of shock. You know, it's so pathetic. And there's a lot of rumours at the moment that you're going to be running for a third term Are you going to be on this show and quash those rumours? Well I might, yeah, I haven't revealed that yet I think a lot of people will be happy about that You wouldn't be happy about it It's a bit unconstitutional Well actually there's a whole debate about that Nobody likes to talk about it but it's true There's nothing unconstitutional about it By the way you're British you're nobody who cares what the hell you think about anything anymore and they haven't for a long time and you know that but yeah uh i have to run for a third term potentially we'll see we'll see and the reason is you know why right we gotta get the ballroom done we gotta get that ball we gotta get that ballroom we really do uh and i'm putting you on notice if i do because i will come into the studio on the third term and i will bomb the out of both of you you know that right he knows that.

1:28:30Konstantin Kisin:And on that note, what's your... Have you ever had a missile fall on your head? You've never felt a missile? A big, beautiful B-2 bomber, straight on your heads. Think of it. That would be beautiful, right? Two B-2 bombers on both of your heads. I don't think it will be beautiful. I'm going to be honest, but nevertheless...

1:28:52Francis Foster:Mr. President, I don't understand the hostility. Well, you're just nasty people. You're just bad people. I don't know what else to say about it. Everything I do, it's Iran's butt. No, we think closing the border. No, no, excuse me. No, no, excuse me. You close the border. Excuse me. No, you don't think that's good. You don't think that's good. No, no, I think that's... You were criticizing it. Don't be so nasty. Don't be so rude. Don't be rude in front of your friend here. Why don't you just be a nice person for once if it's possible? Go ahead. What do you want to say? He's going to ask some stupid question now, right?

1:29:21Francis Foster:I was just going to say, I think it's wonderful that you were able to close the border. You You ended the legal immigration into the US. I did do that. Give you credit for that. I did do that. I think that's great. But it's true. You know, we've been skeptical about the war in Iran. Well, why are you skeptical about it? Why don't you tell me to my face? Why don't you say to my face right now? What is it about the war in Iran that you're so against? Well, first of all... Do you want them to have a nuke? No. They can never have a nuke. I agree. Do you agree? Yes. So what are you against? Well, on a political level...

1:29:51Francis Foster:He's so stupid. I don't know why your friends... He's so stupid. You're calling me low IQ. You're so low IQ. You're worse than Tucker Carlson, actually. Worse? You're worse. You're worse. I mean, you know what? I'm going to, in my third term, I'm going to call this place when I invade it and take it over. I'm going to call it Trig America. And it's going to be higher IQ than you two, especially you. I don't know why you hang out with him. You're so low IQ. Who would you replace us with? That's a good question. Probably Jared Kushner and Steve Whitcomb. I probably would. but you were saying why you're against it and you can continue.

1:30:26Francis Foster:So on a political level, you said yourself you might lose the midterms and then you'll be impeached but also in a practical sense you're clearly losing the war. Well again, how am I losing the war? The war is won. It's won. It's over. So why is it so ongoing? It's not ongoing. That's fake news. Look, when you think about it I have beaten Iran and I've beaten and beaten and beaten the hell out of them. And people say, oh, no, it's over. And people should say, well, maybe you should use a new condom or maybe you're going to hit them again. There's no need. The straits are open. Shipping is better than it's ever been before.

1:31:04And it's way better, by the way. And it's not even close. Your prices are down. People are getting eggs. People are getting eggs now. People are eating eggs in abundance. There's so many eggs. So many eggs are coming through the Straits of America from Iran, right? Nobody thought that was possible. You never thought that was possible.

1:31:20Francis Foster:I didn't realize we imported eggs from Iran. Well, we do, quite frankly. And we actually import everything. It's not from Iran anymore. Very soon it's going to be America. It's going to be another state, 52nd state after Canada, actually, when you count that. Or actually 53rd when you count Greenland. It's going to be a beautiful thing. So you better watch it. I'm putting you on notice. You both better watch it, right?

1:31:45Konstantin Kisin:And what's the one thing that we're not talking about, Mr. President, that we should be? What a terrific job I'm doing. What a terrific job I'm doing. People don't like to talk about what a fantastic job I'm doing. They don't like to say it. You know why, right? No. Because they're worried about the elections. You have the Democrats. I call them Democrats. You two are like Democrats. Low IQ. If you were an American, you'd be Democrats. That I will say. Or you'd probably be with Tucker Carlson and probably even more low IQ than him or Candace Kooky. I call her Kooky Candace, right?

1:32:17Francis Foster:Yeah, we don't like her or Tucker either. Well, then we can agree on that. We can be friends on that. At least we can have a bit of an agreement. But, yeah, they don't want me to run again. And they don't want to cooperate. They're so dumb.

1:32:32Konstantin Kisin:Have you enjoyed this interview, Mr. President? Well, I will say that you've given me a fair hearing. I will say that I don't think you did when I'm not here, which says something about you two. You're basically cowards. But I think, yeah, I think it's been pleasant. But I won't come again. I wouldn't come here again, no, no. I mean, England is totally unrecognisable. I don't know where I am even half the time. And your coffee is terrible, by the way. In fact, your mugs are terrible. Everything about you is terrible. Quite frankly.

1:33:08Tommy Robinson, welcome back to Shigunomashi. Yeah, pleasure to be here.

1:33:14Francis Foster:So what didn't we talk about the first time we had you on there? we should have talked about. We didn't talk about my friends from Luton. I'm a journalist from Luton. I had a friend called Abdullah Duck. He was Donald Duck in the past. He was a mate of mine. Converted to radical Islam. Now he's Donald Abdullah Duck. We don't talk about that. I only know this because I'm a journalist. Other mates of mine. We don't talk about him. Mohammed Gizmo. Just used to be Gizmo from the Gremlins. He's now Mohammed Gizmo. He's a fucking terrorist, mate.

1:33:46Konstantin Kisin:Why are you worried about Islam and its effect on our country, Tommy? Never said that. All I've ever said, I've said that radical Islam is the problem. People are coming up to me in the street saying, do you want to fight? Why are you saying this about Islam? I don't actually say anything about Islam. If you look at everything that I've said, I've actually said only good things about Islam. I just don't know radical Islam. That's all. I know that because I'm from Luton.

1:34:11Francis Foster:Tommy, you've obviously got into a lot of altercations and fights and you seem to have kind of, you know, jumpy energy a little bit. I'm from Luton. I'm not perfect. That's a fair point. So what's your question? I was just going to say, you know, do you seek out the confrontation? Are you a violent person by nature? I've got to walk up. Listen, I'm from Luton, so I'm not perfect. I grew up as a lad. Fighting was a thing. But when I'm in the street walking on my own, I've got to film everything. People don't understand. I don't walk around security. People come up to me and want to fight. If they want to fight, I will do it.

1:34:47But I'm trying to avoid it. I don't try to get in fucking fights, mate. People come up to me in a confrontation because they don't like my journalism. Because they know it's too good. And they don't want my rallies. So, yeah.

1:34:59Konstantin Kisin:There seems to be a lot of sniffing going on here, Tommy. There's a lot of people who've insinuated it might be something a bit nefarious. What would you say? People from Luton sniff. Especially journalists from Luton. We sniff. And how do you see yourself? Do you see yourself as a freedom fighter, an activist, a journalist? What are you, Tommy? So a lot of the journalism that I do is online. All the stuff that I do, all the tweets and all that, people call it hate. Thanks to Elon Musk, I've got free speech again. Got to remember, I was put in solitary confinement. Sniffing. I was put in solitary confinement.

1:35:35Now that I'm out, I think my goal is just to wake people up. That's all my goals. Just wake people up. That's it.

1:35:44Francis Foster:I'll be voting for Rupert Lowe. So, yeah. Would you ever go back to Luton? I always go back to Luton. Luton's my hometown. I fucking love Luton. But when I was growing up in Luton, there was about three mosques. Now there's about one million of them. So, yeah. I don't exaggerate. Nothing that I say online is exaggerated. So, yeah. Believe what you want.

1:36:09Konstantin Kisin:Tommy, final question's always the same. What's the one thing we're not talking about that we really should be? Radical Islam and Donald Abdullah Duck, a mate of mine who converted to radical Islam. That's it.

1:36:24Francis Foster:So Francis, welcome back. It's been a while since we did one of these. How have you been and what have you made of, you know, everything that's been going on? Well, first of all, I just want to say that I hate Argentina. I hate Argentina. They're lying. The cheating. And we don't talk about it enough. Nobody's talking about the arrogance about Argentina. And also what's been going on in the news with Andy Burnham. Has he ended homelessness? No. Has he delivered on any of the things that he says he will? Of course he hasn't. And we don't talk about it. And his first PMQs. Absolutely awful. He should probably read my book.

1:37:10Uneducated.

1:37:12Konstantin Kisin:So Constantine, how do you see the political situation in the UK at the moment? I think it's a shit show, mate I think it's only getting worse And it's interesting because if you speak to people like Peter Hitchens You realise, actually, Peter was kind of right about everything I don't know whether you agree with that But I think Peter was right about everything And then you look at what's been happening in the news I don't know whether you watch the brain rot of the Candace Owens and Andrew Wilson debate But it was literally just her talking about facts As if they weren't facts but really they were just her fucking feelings.

1:37:43It takes me a lot of restraint on X not to respond to things like saying Candice is a complete cunt. I have to restrain myself all the time, but I managed to do it.

1:37:53Konstantin Kisin:So, who is the worst? Is it Candice? Is it Tucker? Is it Nick Fuentes? I mean, they're all just as bad as each other. They're all kooky. You've got kooky Candice, you've got nasty Nick, and who was the other one? Tucker. I don't think I even want to. I mean, he's just a coke head. I mean, he's clearly just a coke head. He's just on lines all the time. And we've actually seen that in the studio today, haven't we?

1:38:24Francis Foster:Tony Lapidus, thank you for all those hilarious impressions. Thanks for coming on, mate. My pleasure. Thank you for having me. Yeah, it was really, really good. How did you get so good at all of these different characters? Well, I've been doing impressions since I was about the size of this mug. um you know they started all starts in the playground all starts with uh you took a lot of beatings when you're a many beatings oh no you should have seen the other guys um but i you know it all starts in the playground a lot of family members um anybody who got too close to me made the mistake of getting too close to me uh got impersonated and that's and so that's why the teachers absolutely hated me growing up um but the pupils my classmates liked me so yeah

1:39:04Konstantin Kisin:just for that and how do you create a really good impression what is it what is the art of a good impression um i think firstly it's always the voice um but in in my case particularly i think one of the things i'm i'm quite good at is uh embodying the people yeah and changing my face almost that's why i i try to like so when i when i did um milo you know his entire face changes um And when I do some boxers and people like that, I change my face for Tyson Fury and the people I imitate in the sports world. And I always think that even where sometimes the voice might be lacking a little bit, if you move your body like them, if you change your facial expressions like them, you can really make up for that.

1:39:50You can really compensate for that. But the goal is always the voice. So for me, it's not actually about studying them. I don't try and study them. What I do is I listen to them. I started off listening to your podcast, just listening out of a matter of interest. And eventually something just kind of clicks. Some you can't even do in the beginning, but the more you just listen, just absorb them, suddenly, if you look at, for example, the Peter Hitchens impression that I did, my very first one just isn't the same one as it is now, and that applies for a lot of them. So it's just about letting it in and then realizing.

1:40:23You talk to yourself a lot as well, which makes people think you're mad.

1:40:26Francis Foster:Yeah, Peter Hitchens is really good. There was actually a question, I think, from our supporters on Substack, which was which one of us is harder to do an impression of. And I have to say, I think it must be me. Your Francis seems to me like a lot more on the money. Yeah, I think you're right. I think you're right. I actually remember your very first reaction to my impression of you. You said, why do I sound American? Yeah. I don't know whether I still do. Well, I don't think you do in the bit that we did for Substack. I don't think your me sounds American. Oh, okay. I think there's something about me that's just a bit...

1:40:58Francis Foster:hard to imitate or bland or whatever no but but again you're somebody who i i think i do your body language better than i do the voice yeah um i think people can see what i'm getting at with the voice even if it's not 100 percent um i think people see i think people people online have actually very nice and encouraging you know they'll say like this one's improving that one's improved they've always liked yours yours is yours has just been easier the body language is is is actually funny because why exaggerate i mean i tell you you're not constantly doing that with your glasses i've just made you do that for no reason um i have picked up on little things that that you'll say that we're not talking about enough but there's a part of me that actually doesn't like doing them and i'll tell you why because i always feel that once people have heard that it's kind of it's almost a bit of a mirror being held up to them and i don't want to make you reluctant to say we don't you're from venezuela not that i could have caused that right i take no responsibility for that um but there are certain phrases i think uh but i think I think you are definitely the harder one to crack.

1:41:57Konstantin Kisin:I find it interesting that people react badly to them because to me, number one, it's a sign that you kind of made it when people are doing impersonations of you and people recognise the impersonation. And two, it's a compliment that people take the time, like impressionists take the time, in order to create what they think is an impression of you. Yeah, I agree. I think I remember the very first one I did of James O 'Brien many years ago at the height of Brexit He gave me a few shout outs He actually, it's on there somewhere on YouTube somewhere Of him saying I was Mike Yarwood level I was very proud of that kind of thing And I just think that the problem when you do political impressions And I do now But it was the war that got me into political impressions The Israel-Hamas war Before that I just had a whole bank of them I never did them I just did sports ones I got into this to do basically boxing and TV shows but with political impressions sometimes people will see them the the victim the target and they'll probably think this is a reflection of his opinions and the truth is it isn't always the truth is sometimes it is and sometimes it's just a pinch of both um and so sometimes you know they'll take something that I've said I could do an impression of Russell Brand and very easily he could hear what I'm saying think I'm making fun of him or finding him guilty or I could do Andrew Tate and they'll think, oh, this reflects how he feels about me.

1:43:20Any of them. But it isn't always. So some of them don't always like it.

1:43:24Francis Foster:He's actually a massive Andrew Tate and Russell Brand fan. Who is? Me?

1:43:29Konstantin Kisin:Yeah, I'm actually a massive fan of them. Clearly. Yeah, yeah. I was going to say, you've got to do, before we go, you've got to do, have you seen his Tyson Fury?

1:43:38Francis Foster:No. It's amazing. I don't understand why we didn't ask him to do it before. Well, because this was meant to be political. Yeah. And what you do is a lot of politics. And so when you're doing Tyson Fury as well, yeah, you've got to stick your jaw out a little bit like that. You know what I'm talking about. And you've got to sniff and you've got to breathe in through your teeth. Yeah, because so far no one's knocked my teeth out, so I'm able to breathe in through them. And when you're the best heavyweight champion in the world, what's ever lived in history, yeah, you can call yourself a gypsy king.

1:44:07So when you're the best Venezuelan what's ever lived in heavyweight history, you can call yourself the king of Venezuela. Maybe you can actually overtake, overthrow. and overtake Maduro. Maybe he can do that. I don't know. I don't know what I'll say.

1:44:20Francis Foster:Can you do a Dana White? He sounds so good when I do it to myself. No. I can do some others that I've been getting a go. Which ones? But not harsh judgment here, right? These are works in progress. My David Starkey is one that I'm working on, but there's an overlap between him and Douglas Murray, and you'll say, you've got to admit that there is a certain element of revenge in what you've done. But anyway, we won't get into that. That's very good. Yeah, that's the basis of it. That's the basis of it. What others didn't we talk? The Lex Friedman one's always a popular one. Lex Friedman, you know, one of your peers, podcaster, who always talks about love and is always talking about aliens and loves aliens and loves everybody and only wants to see the world of peace.

1:45:12Have you ever read George Orwell's 1984 or Animal Farm? That's basically in a nutshell. And is there anyone else? Oh, Hunter Biden. Okay, let's do it. Hunter Biden is someone I'm working on at the moment. I watched an interview with him and Nick Fuentes recently.

1:45:29Francis Foster:There's some fucking company. Yeah, oh, I'm going to do it. Oh, the Mediha-san. Let's get to Mediha-san in a second. Nick Fuentes, Norman Finkelstein. The list goes on. Nick wonders when he's having this conversation and for some reason Hunter Biden keeps saying to him, this is where you lose me, Nick. This is where you lose me. The whole thing you said about the cookies, Nick, it was hurtful. You can understand. I don't think you meant it, Nick. And he did mean it. You know, the things he said, he just keeps saying that to him. It'll be funny once I stick a fake podcast together. Of course, I do the medikasan.

1:46:01Which, what's best of you? Any of you read Zateo? You've never read Zateo, have you? I conduct polls in Zertaya all the time. I've been talking about this since 2015. I've spoken about this and I've published things online. Neither of you are familiar with it. I do. Anyway, that's the Mehdi Hassan one. But very hard to do because he speaks so fast.

1:46:18Francis Foster:Well, Tony, it's so great having you on. The really funny, great impressions. Where can people find your work? Thank you. And tell everybody. We'll make sure to do a YouTube collab so people can find you. Well, first of all, thank you to both of you for having me on. Really appreciate the shot. Really appreciate just hosting me. so Tony Lapidus YouTube my YouTube page is the one I'm also on Instagram and on TikTok and on X my political impressions are mainly on X and YouTube and it's more sporty on Instagram and TikTok but there's also plenty of that there so the more the merrier support get behind me now while it's still early right Tony thanks for coming on thank you and head on over to triggerpod.co.uk we'll see some more impressions and answers to your questions D.

1:47:03Francis Foster:Mr. Hitchens, after reading every word you've ever written, I still don't know your position on drugs. Do you have any strong opinions on drugs? Wouldn't you agree that most people would be happier if they occasionally indulged in drugs?