Why Wealthy People Ask Other Wealthy People Who to Hire

0:01Hello, this is Mark Satterfield, and welcome to the Velvet Rope Playbook. Tonight's chapter, Why Wealthy People Ask Other Wealthy People Who to Hire. Eleanor Whitcomb did not find Adrian Bell through Google. She found him during lunch. Eleanor was 58, had inherited a minority interest in her family's manufacturing company, and later increased her wealth considerably by investing in commercial real estate. She lived in Greenwich, spent part of the winter in Palm Beach, and served on the boards of two cultural institutions whose annual galas required considerably more planning than some corporate mergers.

0:38She was also about to purchase an important collection of 20th century photography. The collection included several museum-quality works, carried an asking price well into the seven figures, and came with a collection of questions Eleanor did not feel qualified to answer. Was the provenance reliable? Were the works priced appropriately? Which pieces were likely to retain their importance, and perhaps most importantly, was she buying a significant collection or merely an expensive one? Eleanor needed an independent art advisor, so she called her friend Margaret Hollis. Margaret had been collecting contemporary art for more than 20 years and possessed the sort of collection that museum curators occasionally requested permission to borrow from.

1:24Eleanor did not ask Margaret to explain how art advisors worked, she asked a much simpler question. Who do you use? Margaret gave her Adrian Bell's name. And before Adrian had spoken to Eleanor, shown her his credentials, or explained his approach, something extremely valuable had already happened. Eleanor trusted him more than she had five minutes earlier. Not completely, of course. Affluent people do not generally hand strangers several millions of dollars simply because a friend mentioned them over grilled salmon, but Adrian was no longer simply another art advisor. He was Margaret's art advisor, and that distinction mattered.

2:05This is one of the most powerful forces in affluent marketing, although it's frequently described too casually as a referral. It's more than that. It's peer validation. Eleanor didn't merely believe Margaret knew a competent professional. she believed Margaret understood what someone in Eleanor's position required. Margaret owned important art. She dealt with sophisticated galleries. She understood the difference between buying something attractive and acquiring something culturally significant. She had similar expectations, similar financial resources, and similar things at stake. So when Margaret trusted Adrian, Eleanor could reasonably think, someone like me trusts this person.

2:48That's a much more persuasive statement than three anonymous people on internet gave him five stars. Online reviews can be useful. Testimonials can be valuable. Credentials matter. But affluent clients often place special weight on recommendations from people they consider their peers because those recommendations answer questions ordinary social proof can't. Will this person understand my standards? Will they be discreet? Will they be comfortable dealing with the complexity of my situation? Will I have to explain why certain details matter to me? And perhaps most importantly, is this someone people in my world already trust?

3:29Margaret's recommendation quietly answered all of those questions. That doesn't mean Eleanor skipped her due diligence. She looked at Adrian's background. She reviewed several collections he had helped assemble. She spoke with him at length. But she entered those conversations from a very different starting point. Adrian wasn't trying to persuade a skeptical stranger to take him seriously. He was confirming a favorable impression that had already been created for him. That's an unusually advantageous position from which to sell anything. It also explains why affluent prospects often appear to move through the buying process differently.

4:08Someone outside that world may begin by searching broadly, comparing options, and gradually narrowing the field. An affluent prospect may begin with a much smaller list, consisting of two or three names supplied by people they already trust. In other words, the first and perhaps most important round of evaluation takes place before you even know there's an opportunity. Someone asks, who do you know? And either your name comes up or it doesn't. This changes the marketing question. Most professionals ask, how do I get my message in front of more wealthy people? That's not a bad question, but it isn't the only one.

4:47A potentially more valuable question is, how do I become the person wealthy clients recommend to one another? And there are several parts to that. First, you need to deliver an experience worth mentioning. Competence is the minimum requirement. Affluent clients generally expect you to be good at what you do. That alone may not give them a particularly interesting reason to talk to you. But perhaps you noticed something everyone else missed. Perhaps you made a complicated process feel unusually easy. Perhaps you're more responsive, more thoughtful, or more discreet than people expected. Perhaps you protect them from an expensive mistake.

5:26Those are the experiences that become stories. Margaret didn't recommend Adrian because he described himself as client-focused. She recommended him because several years earlier he had advised her not to purchase a highly promoted painting that every dealer in the room seemed eager to sell her. Six months later, serious questions emerged about the work's provenance. Adrian had saved Margaret from an expensive and embarrassing mistake. That was the story she remembered, and it was the story she told Eleanor. Second, you need relationships with people who already possess the trust of affluent clients.

6:06Depending on your business, these people might be attorneys, accountants, wealth advisors, luxury real estate professionals, family office executives, or any of the other specialists serving the same market. The objective isn't to corner them at an event and announce that you appreciate referrals. that usually produces a sort of expression people reserve for someone who has asked them to borrow money. The objective is to become useful, credible, and memorable enough that when one of their clients asks for your help, your name feels like a safe and intelligent answer. Third, you need to become known for something distinctive.

6:42General competence is difficult to describe and even harder to recommend, but people can easily remember she's the person who handles complicated art acquisitions for families building serious collections. Or, he's the person collectors call before buying something expensive enough to regret. Specificity makes your name easier to retrieve when the right conversation occurs. And that matters because referrals rarely happen when someone is studying a directory of trusted professionals. They happen in conversation, at lunch, on the golf course, during a board meeting, on the phone when a friend says, we're considering this.

7:21Do you know anyone? Your positioning needs to be clear enough that someone can remember you in that moment and explain why you're relevant in a single sentence, which raises the practical question. How do you actually become that person? You don't do it by asking more people for referrals. You do it by making yourself unusually easy to recommend. Start by deciding what you want the sentence about you to be. If one of your best clients were having lunch tomorrow and a friend mentioned a problem you could solve, what would you want your client to say? Not, I know somebody who's pretty good. That's not much of an endorsement.

7:57You want something closer to, you need to talk to Sarah. She specializes in exactly that. Or, before you do anything, call Michael. He saved me from making a very expensive mistake. That's the sentence you're trying to earn. Then give people a reason to remember it. Share useful ideas with your clients, even when you're not trying to sell them something. Stay in touch after the engagement is over. Introduce them to people they might benefit from knowing. Send them something occasionally and say, saw this and thought of you. And perhaps most importantly, create what I call referral-worthy moments.

8:34Do something during the relationship that's sufficiently thoughtful, valuable, or unexpected that your client has a story to tell about you. because people don't usually recommend a list of credentials. They recommend a story. I called him on Friday afternoon and he had the problem solved before Monday. She told me not to buy it even though she would have made more money if I had. He spotted something nobody else noticed. Those stories travel. And there's one more thing. Look at the people who already surround your ideal clients. Who does your client already trust? Who gets their phone call when they need an attorney, an accountant, an advisor, or someone to solve an unusual problem.

9:14Those are the relationships worth developing, not because you're going to ask these people to send you business, but because you want them to understand what you're exceptionally good at and what someone should be introducing to you about. Over time, something interesting begins to happen. You stop being someone who's constantly looking for affluent prospects. You become the person people who already know affluent prospects think of when the right problem comes up. That's a much better place to be. And there's another reason these relationships are so valuable. One affluent client can be worth considerably more than the business they personally give you.

9:51They may introduce you to their attorney, their business partner, their brother-in-law, the chairman of a foundation, or three friends who have similar needs as they do. Affluent people often move within overlapping circles of trust. Once you become accepted inside one of those circles, each successful engagement can create the conditions for the next one. But there's an important warning there. You can't manufacture peer validation by simply collecting wealthy clients and asking them to provide names. The recommendation has to feel deserved. People with substantial reputations are careful about lending those reputations to someone else.

10:28When Margaret recommended Adrian, she wasn't merely transferring contact information, she was placing a small portion of her own judgment on the line. If Adrian performed badly, Eleanor wouldn't only question Adrian, she might question Margaret's recommendation. That's why affluent people tend to recommend professionals they trust deeply rather than people they merely know. And it's why your work has to justify the social risk someone takes when they introduce you. So the next time you're thinking about how to attract more wealthy clients don't focus exclusively on reaching more strangers, ask yourself, what would make one of my best clients eager to mention me to someone like them?

11:07Is there something memorable about the experience you delivered? Do you have a story about the value you created? Because a recommendation isn't generated only by satisfaction. It requires memory. Someone has to remember you exactly the right moment. Eleanor ultimately hired Adrienne, not because Margaret made the decision for her. Margaret made the decision easier. She removed some of the uncertainty, established Adrian's relevance, and gave Eleanor a reason to begin the conversation with trust rather than skepticism. It allowed her to thank someone whose judgment I respect and whose situation resembles mine has already decided this person is worth trusting.

11:48And in a market where trust is often more valuable than attention. That's an extraordinary venture. So more ideas about how the affluent clients choose to trust and how you can become the person they seek out, go visit getwealthyclients.com. Once you're there, you'll find all my books, my programs, and hey, even information about how you can work with me personally. And one last thing, if you're enjoying the Velvet Rope Playbook, make sure you subscribe so we can stay in touch and you don't miss the next episode. And if you know someone who's very good at what they do, but could be doing a better job of attracting affluent clients, pass this episode along.

12:24Don't need to make a big production out of it. Just say, thought you might find this useful. That's how most good ideas and most valuable introductions tend to travel. This is Mark Satterfield. Hope you found this chapter of the Velvet Rope Playbook helpful. I'll be back at you soon with something new. But until then, bye for now.