The Worst Apprentice Interviews Ever & Our Worst Interview Stories

0:00Welcome to another episode of Trench Tips where this week we'll be reacting to those horrible interviews from The Apprentice that make you think, why on earth has this person made it this far? My name's Zach Thompson, this is Jack Frimstone and we are the second best salespeople in the country. Which one's second? I'll let you decide. Jack, what have you got for us? This is how not to start an interview So if you've ever watched The Apprentice You know the interviews are the best bit Let's see how not to start an interview Okay Yoo-hoo Yoo-hoo Sorry Oh, I love Claude Claude is the best Yoo-hoo It's the mirror from him Yoo-hoo Yoo-hoo Yoo-hoo Oh, it's so, so good Have you ever intro'd yourself wrong in an interview?

0:55Maybe not an interview. I've introduced myself as Zach a lot of times recently. As Zach? Yeah. Do you not remember? We were on a call with a client and they were like, we're going to do some intros. And I think I was like knackered with the newborn baby. I went, yeah, I'm Zach. I'm with the director. They were staring at me. He's Zach and you're Jack. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Wow. You've been so tired you forgot your own name. What's the, when I say the worst, when I say the worst interview, I'm getting excited now. When I say the worst interview you've ever had, where does your mind go automatically? I know where your mind goes.

1:34I knew what you were going to say. Yeah! There's two bits from that interview. So I once interviewed for read.co.uk, the UK's number one job site. I got him the interview. I got you the interview. You got me the interview. Jack was working there. He was smashing it with all his mates. They were all like, it's so easy. And we, you know, we know a lot of cool people there and we make loads of money. I was like, wow, it sounds great. Just left uni. So the first thing that didn't land properly, he said, what would you mate say about you? We know that Jack works here. How would they describe you? I said, they probably said, I've got a big head.

2:07Oh, what? Like, you're really confident and arrogant. I went, no, no, no. Like, I physically got a really big head. And these two people sat in front of me that didn't laugh at all. And then I'd hurt my jaw. So it was like really clicking and sore. and the way to soothe it was to have chewing gum. If I had chewing gum in, it was sound. And they fed back to you, didn't they, afterwards and said, we're not going to hire him because he had chewing gum in. He had chewing gum. And weirdly, I mean, it's not that weird, but I also think it is weird. One of the guys that interviewed you is our famous porn star.

2:39No way. Lexington Steele. No, he's genuine. His porn star name is Danny Tudix. Anyway. Do you have two dicks? No, no. And I don't know why. I think it's one is so good that they named it twice or something like that. Sounds like a Shakespeare's on it. And one of my favorites, I remember I was interviewing for a recruitment job after a recruitment job, recruitment, recruitment. And I got to the end, I was like, I'm not doing recruitment. I hate it. I still had an interview and I went there. And they asked me the same question. You've spared memory there. What would your friend say about you? And I was being very droll, very deadpan.

3:18And I'd say, I said, they probably sound the funniest bloke that I've ever met. And they went, all right, then tell us a joke. I went, okay. Ask me if I'm a lemon. He went, are you a lemon? And I went, no. And he just looked at me and went, let's just leave this interview now. Right, should we have to end it? That was enough to end it. Should we watch another one? Yeah, let's watch another one. You're going to, this one's called the most brutal apprentice interview ever. and you know who it is, it's your mate. It's your mate from LinkedIn. No, no, not that mate, a different one. Come on, Joe, you can do this.

3:55Oh, Joseph Valentine, Valtellini, whatever he's called. So, you read Lord Sugar's book a few years ago and you say you didn't sleep for weeks. Is that right? It's right. What it did for me was gave me the inspiration to start my business. I thought, hang on a minute, all I need to do is get my own van, make a sign, get a name, start a business, I can do it myself. And then within a couple of days, I was ready to go. Well, that's either a very sincere tribute to the power of his words or it's the most blatant attempt to butter him up I've ever heard. Yeah. I've actually got a copy of his book. So maybe a little test here.

4:39I love it. Is that true? Is that true? both both two great follows those two for two different reasons mike suit a friend of the podcast really good episode actually bollock jack well we're not we've never told the story this is this is the perfect opportunity to tell the mike suit story you tell it because i know that you get so much joy from me being bollocks in your life so go on right so mike suitor from the apprentice really wonderful guy we had him on the podcast he was a really nice guy but obviously his reputation precedes him. We were quite nervous about having him on the podcast. So we go downstairs to meet him at the studio we use in Putney and he came up, we shook our hands and he went if I'd known it was here I wouldn't have fucking come.

5:27And we both laughed and then we were like oh he's not laughing. Well it's in London. And he went no it fucking isn't. He was just in very very far West London. And since then, he's taught us a valuable lesson, hasn't he? He always makes sure that people really, really know where the studio is. And to his credit, as soon as he walked in and saw that it was a proper setup, he was very nice and he apologised afterwards and stuff. But how better to get introduced to Mike Suter than putting you straight on your toes? I loved it. Because it was like the time Noel Gallagher told me to fuck off. And I went home and I saw my mum.

6:06She was like, how was that blow from The Apprentice? was like, I got genuinely bollocked by the guy that bollocks people. So it was... Yes! Yes! This is the bit. Yeah, you're doing the bit. Right, so that means that we should definitely watch Mike Suter's best bit. You ready for it? Easily. Oh, mate. Come on. You sure? No, I haven't. So your first week is somewhere that you've never been. No, so that was the choice that I decided based on the way in which people are booking holidays and the fact is becoming more and more popular. Okay, well listen, can you point it out for me please? There's a pin.

6:46Right. And here's a globe. I use something called Google. This is way before my time. I'd like you to use something called a globe. It shouldn't be that difficult. Where's the resort you've been taking a while? I'm going to go in. Wait. So let's go in there. Is that anywhere good? Oh, I would say you are about 600 miles away. That's around about Greece. Okay, where did you say it? Zurch and Beach is right up here. The point is, I've never seen that. A globe. I've never looked at it on a globe. You'd panic, wouldn't you? You would panic so hard. He's got an ability. Maybe you've learned it from him.

7:28But you've got this great thing with people where when they present something to you, you'll go, well, give me an example. And when they can't, when they can't, you always go like, go on, just keep going. You must have an example of that. You wouldn't have brought it up. And oftentimes they don't. Or when they say something vague or whatever. And that's exactly that. And they're like, oh, you've told me something. Just show me quickly. Yeah, prove it. Or you just prove it. You're just a liar of bullshit. The worst one that I do, and I've stopped doing it because it's so mean, people say I really love the podcast and my favourite follow up question is what's your favourite episode what's your favourite episode you can't say Rory Sutherland the uh is so good I want to do a little midform now I want to tell you about this week's sponsor of the episode are you ready for this it's PROSPEO.io but they have a new feature out so you know like back in the day yeah what can i tell you all about it because i know that you're sat there thinking i don't know what this new feature is and i've got claude littler in my ears right now so let me just pause claude littler this cord is so loud coming claude coming claude right um it's mad all the apprentice best bits are all mike salter and so the the prospio the the new feature that's coming out basically you know if you've ever used any like data tool it's clickbox it's clickbox now because of ai the new features that's coming out with prospio you type it in i'm looking for ceos that have just received funding in b2b space bang list done no way it sounded pretty sexy and i know you're thinking can i just use that yeah you could just use that and they've got a webinar that's coming up the link is in the description we want to see you there but i think right now use prospo.io and back to the full episode is that great to see you yes it is yes it is really really good really good great read very seamless thanks man um right i'm gonna i'm gonna share and let's see if we can get through some This one's called the hardest interview question ever.

9:52While this is loading and we're getting this all ready to go. But maybe while you figure that out, we can ask you at the same time, what's the hardest interview question you've ever been asked? Such a powerful question. Thanks, Juan. Oh, I tell you why. I tell you why I didn't get a job once. you'll like this I told them I was really really good at maths it was for an interview at Woucher and then they asked me to do some basic mental arithmetics in my head where it'd be like if you gave a 10 % discount it was this this and this what would the discount be I'm just sat there going and you know when you feel the sweat dripping down your head and you're like I don't know what the answer is to this this is really painful You're fucking with me, mate.

10:43I've had that same thing, but I interviewed for recruitment jobs right after uni. And I got through to the final stages. When I was where people got asked to leave throughout it, and I was the last one there. And they were like, all right, let's just a few tests just to make sure you can think it's all easy stuff now. There's a bit of spelling and do I know my own name and stuff. And then it was like, right, and let's just work out your commission. and it was mate it's embarrassing it was like if you made like let's say it was 10 000 pound for the business what would 20 percent of that be and i'm bad at maths right and i'd probably not work that percentage since about year eight or nine and then was like 22 i'm going poor yeah good uh and i just couldn't think how to work out percent it's weird i've never made that mistake i've known i knew from that day forward but i was just like trying to just blag it in by time like you don't know how to do it here no i don't know oh you think you can just say something i know it's gonna be a lot of money and i'm gonna spend it so well oh yeah yeah yeah but how much yeah i just sent you one on teams if you want to share your screen that'd be great and we'll have another one coming up to you soon i'm gonna tell you about the time in the meantime i'm gonna tell you about the time where uh i did an interview uh once for jc to cow and um we had to we had to play like a guessing game of who are you and i took it a little bit too literal and i did an impression of candy west i started dancing on the tables calling everyone psychos oh god i'm so tired i've just been talking to qualified prospects all day without any wait time how have you been doing it because i've been cold calling people on my mobile and i reckon i've spoke to one person no no no stop that right now and use nooks.ai why what what what does nooks do it finds me the right people to call and it calls them and it connects with them over and over and over again so you're saying it's nooks.ai and i can just be speaking to qualified decision makers all the time no other better connection right wow nooks.ai what's the weirdest interview you've held whilst at least we have a meeting oh my god mate you know the one we interviewed we interviewed someone once who kept referring to themselves in the third person and she worked in events and we were asking what was the question that we asked tell us about that she said she said yeah i've worked in events in the past and blah blah blah i said okay could you could you give me an example you know me i love an example and she said well an event is when two people get together so it could be you and zach hanging out together i was like no sorry i know what an event is i i know no i know what an event is i just an example of an event you've done she likes to skateboard that was it she kept referring to us having the third person yeah what does what does sarah like to do in her spare time like that.

13:57It was brilliant and then the feedback was yeah I thought it went well but Jack and Zach kept pissing themselves all the way through it really got us. Zach Thompson a task for this week I'm starting with one but if you've got one please send it over. Okay it's a simple one this week I want you to comment on this podcast and then share one of our previous episodes and And tag us. It can be on Instagram, it can be on LinkedIn, it can be on X, wherever you use social media the most. Tag us. And the first three people who comment on this and tag us somewhere else on social sharing an episode, we're going to give£500 to.

14:42That's really generous. We do this every week. We do this every week. So, yeah, first person to do that. First three people to do that. There's money to be made. Thank you, guys. Have a lovely week. We'll see you soon.

14:56Exnie wonderer.