Rebel Royals

0:00Rebecca Lavoie:I'm Rebecca Lavoie and this is You Can't Make This Up.

0:14Rebecca Lavoie:You Can't Make This Up is the podcast where we uncover the true stories behind your favorite Netflix documentaries and films. On today's episode, we take a closer look at the Netflix documentary film Rebel Royals. A lot of people expected me to be a certain way and live up to what I'm supposed to be. And I don't. You know, I choose differently. And it's so amazing to be seen by somebody who didn't judge me. Today we're talking to Martha Louise and shaman Durek Verrett. She grew up as the daughter of the King of Norway. While living a low-key life as a divorced mother of three, Martha Louise discovered her true love, Durek Verrett, an American shaman who claims they met in a past life.

0:58Rebecca Lavoie:Now, as the couple plans what amounts to a royal wedding, they show the world what love and companionship look like within their unorthodox and controversial relationship. The Netflix documentary Rebel Royals offers an intimate look at the unlikely romance between a Norwegian princess and a mystic from California. The spiritual couple navigates issues of class, race, and national identity as they prepare for a grand wedding among the Scandinavian fjords. They address critics in the press and the public who view their union as an oddity and reveal what life looks like for two unconventional soulmates.

1:33They're painting me to look like I'm some scam artist fraud who's come to take their princess by using black magic because they don't want a shaman who's black and bisexual marrying their princess.

1:56Rebecca Lavoie:Martha Louise and Shaman Durek Verrett, welcome to You Can't Make This Up. Thank you so much. Thank you. It's a pleasure to be here. You already live a very high profile life. Martha, why did you agree to take part in this documentary? I think it's a wonderful opportunity to show our love to the world. And for me, you know, there's so much going on in the world right now that's negative and maybe scary for some people that for me is just so nice and sweet to show our love and have a counterbalance to all of that. Because love is the most important thing in the world. Derek, can you tell us more about how the two of you met?

2:34So I was told by a friend, my friend Milana Snow, that she wanted to set me up with someone if I wasn't seeing anyone. I had come out of a relationship for a long time and I was being single and I said, you know what, it'd be really nice to connect. But that wasn't my energy at the time. She kept writing me, writing me. And then I finally got it back to her and made the appointment to me. And then she told me that it was a princess. And then I canceled the appointment. Yeah, immediately. you know because i just didn't know she was going to be able to do to understand me or connect with me and i was just really focused on being shaman derek and being there for the people so it took months it took months yeah yes so then i flew to canada and met up with my friend dave asfrey and spent time with him at alphabase and his person who was helping with his company the person who was running his company her name is selena she told me she had a dream that i was running from something.

3:32And we basically figured out that I was running from meeting Martha. So she came in and she walked in and that looked into her eyes and I got flashed into another dimension where I saw us in another life. And in that life, she was a dark skinned woman looking at me and Nubian woman staring at me and going, I found you. And then I flashed back and she was in the room in front of me. And I said something in regards to like something where we were destined to meet before time. And I think that came out of my mouth because when I was a kid, I had many psychics throughout my life told me I was going to be married to the princess of Norway.

4:11And I blocked it out for years and years and years and years. And finally, it happened. That's why that came out of my mouth. But she can tell you the rest. yeah and I walked in the door after he he cut off a few dates and I didn't even know that it was a date just that I was going to meet him and then we I walked in and you know somehow sometimes you just recognize people although you've never met them and it was those kind of that kind of moment and I just looked at him and I was like oh I met you before and he was like yes we were destined to meet way before we were born i was like oh lord and but then we had a really good conversation so it was nice when she was talking about him she had like stars in her eyes so i was like what is this seeing their love was so cute because they both acted like teenagers and i'm like okay you guys are meant for each other when he started dating Princess Marta.

5:15Rebecca Lavoie:I was like, oh my God, my whole life I thought my uncle's gay. Wow, uncle, got some game. Martha Louise, in the documentary, you describe growing up knowing that you were different from the other members of the royal family. How did you feel you were different? I don't think I meant different from the, maybe also from the family, but like in general different because like I was so sensitive. I knew what people were feeling, you know, what they, if they were lying or not, what if they've had a, an argument with their spouse, I knew. And I, when I was little, I would go and I was like, your husband will, and you will be okay.

5:52And people would be like scared of me, you know, because I knew these things that I wasn't supposed to know. So I felt very different, but up to a certain age, like until I started school, I think I thought everybody had this thing that they could see things in other people and feel their pains or their emotions. And it was very confusing because I didn't know if it was theirs or mine or what that was. So that's why when I suddenly understood that not everybody was like this and not everybody saw what I saw in other people, I was like, oh, how are you a human being without doing that? And that's why I felt different.

6:33And I felt kind of lonely in that situation because I didn't have anybody else I knew who was like me.

6:41Rebecca Lavoie:Yeah. Is that how you got interested in the spiritual world? Because you understood things other people didn't understand? I think I've always had that connection to spirit and get information from spirit. And also had a very strong intuition on my life. So I have kind of been intrigued by that part of me and why I am like that when nobody else is like that around me or what is this? And then through my life, I met people who have helped me understand that part of me. And then I finally came home in the sense that when I started going more deep into the spirituality, into healing and energy readings and the such, Then I suddenly felt that I came home and I was like, oh, this is something that I really want to do.

7:34And I really understand how this works. And that's when I started my spiritual center here in Norway and helped other people get in connection and in contact with their own intuition and their own truth.

7:47Rebecca Lavoie:Durek, can you talk about your first visit to Norway, what that was like? Because we do learn a little bit about how it was a little bit of a culture shock, right? Can I just start by saying that I warned him? I said to him, you know, because I started, you know, I was like, are you sure that this is what you want? Because it's going to be really hard. The press is really tough and it's going to be quite challenging, you know. And he's like, yes, I've been dealing with lots of press before and it's going to be fine. Don't worry. You know, the thing is, and I love that my wife says that because my wife always likes to take the piss out of me because she likes to watch me.

8:31I think that I know everything and then I really don't, you know, which I think is so amazing about her. That's why I love her because she always calls me on my stuff. But I was so bold headed in believing because I have been in the press before. Israel, this place, that place. I've been in the press. Like, how bad can it be, you know? And when I got there, she had called me before I got on the airplane and said, there might be some press. And so I was with my niece, Alexandra, who's my manager and my other niece who runs all my medium to Natalia, which was her gift for her graduation for college.

9:04And I say, why don't you come on this journey with us? And we got off the plans like, oh, yeah, there's going to be a little bit of press waiting for us. But no big deal. We'll just get our bags and go. No, I come out and it was like a storm of press. This is my first time.

9:20Rebecca Lavoie:Have you met Martha Ferris? Not yet, but I'm looking forward to it. From the moment I stepped foot in Norway, I was surrounded by, I think, 40 cameras and people chasing me through the airport. It was overwhelming. Martha was outside waiting with the bags and she was putting the bags in the car and they were asking her questions. And I thought, OK, we're done. It's over. But it wasn't over. Uh, literally every second I walked out on the street, there was someone hiding behind a van, taking pictures of me, uh, cameras in my face everywhere I want. There are times where me, my niece were running down the street from them and we were thinking, how can we hide?

9:58Because they were everywhere, you know? And I didn't understand the capacity of what she was saying. And then she goes to me, you know what we call this? And I'm like, what do you call it? And And she's like, we call this a fire christening. Yeah, a fire christening. But it was also quite a lot of interviews because we were doing a tour at the time. And we did quite a lot of interviews. And they were also like very hardcore interviews. Which I'd never experienced. Right.

10:28Rebecca Lavoie:So, Martha, do you see your story? I mean, I think that, you know, you guys come from a different world initially. You obviously connected very strongly when you first met. did you feel as if this was some sort of Romeo and Juliet situation? Romeo and Juliet situation? You mean when they die at the end?

10:53Okay. No, what she means like Shakespeare, you know? I understand. I was just pulling her leg. You know, when you meet somebody who really understands you, who you can go in all direction with, who has the humor, the depth, the wisdom. I just felt so at home with Shaman Durek. And I was just, it just felt so true and real. And I was just like, this is it. I just know it. And I'm a person who always follows my heart. So it felt very easy that this was the person, of course, I was in love with. Although we did go through the rounds, you know, with is this something he really wants? Because there are people who can't handle their situation and it's important to, you know, really think through when you want to go out with me because it's a lot from the press here in Norway.

11:51Rebecca Lavoie:Shaman Durek, there is this great man on the street interview where a guy describes the idea of your relationship. What's his name? Durek. Durek. What time you see the shaman or something? That's tight. That means that anyone has a shot with a princess. What was your reaction when you saw that? Yeah, I don't necessarily agree with that. Yeah. Because I think that you have to get to a certain maturity, a certain level of responsibility, giving up a certain amount of your freedom, to being in that life. It's not like I can go do the things that I used to do when I wasn't in that relationship with her.

12:40Also, she has three kids. That's why I'm very old school, why I needed time, where she was more open to engaging in the relationship. I needed some time. And what was so lovely about my wife is that she gave me the time I needed to soul search myself. Because when you enter into a relationship with a woman, who has kids. So that was one thought. And then the other thought was her life, what it means to be in that family and what I had to give up to be in that family for myself, the criticism, the ridicule, the press, you know, what does it entail? What does it mean for me in my life? Am I still going to be able to be Shaman Dirk, which is the core of who I am, right?

13:21All of that is, it plays a role. So when the guy was saying what he was saying, it's no, it's not that easy to, You know, it's maybe tight. Yes. But there's a lot that you have to surrender and a lot of maturity that you have to gain and a lot of challenges you have to go through when you're entering into a family that's already set up and a relationship with kids that are already set up. And then where do you fit in in all of that when your cultures are completely different? Right. I think that a lot of people can relate to what you're saying right now. Absolutely. With coming into a family and there's so many people who have that experience, you know, coming into an already said family.

14:03And you've been amazing in that way, babe, where you've really taken in and asked how can I come in and support you in this instead of coming in and overriding, you know, our structure of family.

14:22Rebecca Lavoie:The documentary lays out this concept of what it is to be Norwegian. Martha Louise, can you describe the concept of Janteloven and whether or not it suits Derek? Oh, yeah, it suits him like a glove. No, it doesn't. That's sarcasm, by the way. Got it. I always have to say that because Derek doesn't always understand sarcasm. Noted. Noted. Also explained in the documentary. But yes, Janteloven is the law of Jante. It was in a novel at some point. And it's a law that describes that you're not allowed to think that you're better than anybody else. These are the rules of Janteloven. You're not to think you are anything special.

15:04You're not to imagine yourself better than we are. You're not to think you know more than we do. You're not to think you are more important than we are.

15:14Rebecca Lavoie:you're not to think you are good at anything you're not to think anyone cares about you in general the rules or the rules in brackets are about you not standing out you not shining be humble don't think that you're better than anybody else and for a certain american or for americans in general i think it's totally opposite of what your culture is because your culture is more like I am who I am and I have to shine my light. And if I don't trust myself, nobody else will. And if I have to speak up about myself and nobody else will. So in our culture in Norway or in Scandinavia in general, it's very much like you're not supposed to talk good about yourself.

16:05You're not supposed to present you in a good light. It's like if you're an amazing football player, for example, or a soccer player, and you say, yeah, I play a little bit of football. I play a little bit of soccer or, you know, and I, when I started coming to America and people ask me like, what do you do? And what have you done in your life? Like, yeah, I've done a bit of writing. You know, I was on the Norwegian team and I have a small clothing line at the moment. I've also had a spiritual center and I, and I'm an author and I stand up for women's rights. That's basically what Durek was like, no, that's not how you present yourself.

16:42You are a champion horseback rider because I did ride the World Cups, you know, in show jumping. And you are not just an author. You are a bestselling author. You don't just have a clothesline. You have an amazing clothesline. It's international. And, you know, like it's so different the way you present yourself in the Scandinavian countries and in America that I really had to practice for a long time to be able to like understand how I'm supposed to say, because to us, it's like too much. And I think that's also a bit of the culture clash for Durek coming to Norway too, because just by him being American and just saying hi on the street, just saying hi or sitting next to somebody, you know, saying, hey, how's your day?

17:34People here are like, what? Why are you speaking to me?

17:39Rebecca Lavoie:So Durek, as a person of color, I'm curious, how do you have a meaningful conversation about race in a nation that's more than 80 % white? I think the difficulty in Norway is that when I say that there's racism, they get offended and upset because they don't want to look at what that means. They just think, I think every time someone's upset with me, I think they're racist. That's not true. I think a lot of reason why people have issues with me is because of the press constantly creating stories about me that are untrue and not from my own words. And so therefore, they continue to polarize that in society.

18:19But the racism is real. I've dealt with it. I experienced it. I've had death threats. I've had people do that. But it's not about being a victim. It's not about, oh, woe is me. I'm a victim. You know, I'm going to use the race card. No, it's about me drawing awareness to something that needs to shine the light on. That's what I do in life. I shine the light on the darkness or places that need the light. And racism is all over the world. But I've lived in so many countries of the world and have been in the press, in the media. I've never experienced that kind of racism like I have in Norway. But racism is something that I have to even educate some of my friends on, my Norwegian friends who are here.

18:59I have to educate them on what it means. And Marca can speak more about that when it comes to why that is. But it's like they think racism means just saying the N-word or whatever. Right. And that's not what racism is to me because I come from America. So I see the nuances that others don't see. And I do have those conversations. And I think that's what's also different because in Norway, I think racism, like Durek says, it's very much about saying the N-word or being offensive to people of color. But we don't understand the nuances that you understand in America very well. Like, you know, just the nuances of always telling a bad joke about a person of color or, you know, walking on the street and always crossing the road, clutching your purse, all these very basic traits that you in America understand is racism.

19:59We don't, all of us don't know that that is actually racism and that it is the person of color who is the expert on this and not us white people. And I think we're still in the, in the field because every time when, when Durek says this is racist or this is, they always say, oh, you're pulling the race card. And that's not really true. And we have to start listening to people of color about what racism actually is. And the people who can show that to us and actually make us evolve through that is people of color who know what racism means.

20:37Rebecca Lavoie:You both have a singularly unique situation, I think. Perhaps the only other people in the world who could imagine what it's like to walk in your shoes are Harry and Meghan Markle, maybe. And it was only when Harry and Meghan went into the press with Oprah did I get a message from the king saying, do you feel that we treated you the same way? You came in as the first mixed-race person to marry into the family, and yours was a different story. Did you think about that at all? Well, I thought about it because they made me think about it. What is it like to be part of such a small club? I mean, do you feel ever like it's difficult to get people to understand?

21:23Rebecca Lavoie:But can you just talk about that? I've been a bit bewildered about that people say that I have to be under a spell or that I have to be dumb or that he is a narcissist. He manipulates me. You know, I am a weak person who is like coming to this, I must be so infatuated and so in love and blinded by love and all these things that I've heard, you know, but it's actually because Dirk is an amazing person. He is my soulmate and we have a fantastic relationship and I love him more, you know, like than anybody else apart from my kids, I have to say. And that's as simple as it is. He is a perfect fit for me and vice versa, I hope.

22:10And there's nothing more or less to it. You hope. I know. I tell you, I love you every day. I massage your feet. I bring you flowers. You're supposed to come in and just say, yes, of course, my love. Yes, of course, my love.

22:28I want to add to what my wife is saying, because I know what question you're asking. And then going into it a little bit more is not just the fact that we're in a interracial relationship. It's also the fact of the position you play in the world and you chose me. That's really difficult for people to grasp. It's nothing that anyone has ever seen. So when we're talking about, you were talking about Harry and Meghan, that was difficult for people to grasp then when it was in Meghan's position. Now it's even more difficult because you're a female, you know, and I'm a male. You could choose any man in the world you want.

23:06You can choose to be with a person who's in your same family class, or you could choose to be with a big CEO, or you could choose to be with, you know, anybody. But you chose me. And that really is a contrast for people.

23:20Rebecca Lavoie:Shaman Dirk, I have to ask because I think it's hard to watch this documentary and not be curious about, you know, how normal your life might be behind closed doors. I mean, like, what did you do for dinner last night? Do you sit on the couch together and watch Netflix? Like, would you describe your relationship as like the kind of relationship that everybody should have? Yeah. You know, for me, I am a very, I would say, uber romantic. And so for me, it's all about my wife. You know, like I just like to be there for my wife and the kids. And so for me, you know. He's amazing. He always shows up for me in all different areas.