Elena Cardone: The Mindset Shift That Built a Billion-Dollar Business | Entrepreneurship | YAPClassic

23:09Hala Taha:Less stress, less time, more results. When you need the right person to cut through the chaos, this is a job for Indeed sponsored jobs. And listeners of this show will get a$75 sponsored job credit to help get your job the premium status that it deserves at Indeed.com slash podcast. Again, that's Indeed.com slash podcast. Just go to Indeed.com slash podcast right now and support our show by saying you heard about Indeed on this podcast. Indeed.com slash podcast. Terms and conditions apply. Need to hire? This is a job for Indeed sponsored jobs. Well, I don't think you should settle. I don't think you should compromise.

23:44What I would suggest is somebody write down, write, you want to come up with perfect? You shouldn't deviate from that. Write the perfect person. You know, and you're talking about trivial. I wrote over 100 characteristics. This is before I got together with Grant. Over 100 characteristics of what I wanted in the perfect man. And it started with 6 '2 and green eyes. Every single item on the rest of the list was Grant except for the first two, 6 '2 and green eyes. And I only said 6 '2 because I had other guys not want me to wear heels. It really wasn't because I had a consideration. And green eyes, I like green eyes.

24:20I should have just said charming and accept me for my height.

24:23Hala Taha:You know what I mean? I wouldn't have pigeonholed me into being blind, right? Because I was looking for 6 '2 and green eyes. So what I would say is write it all down, right? You want monogamy. You want ethically ambitious. all the traits, trustworthiness, monogamy, wants a family, write everything that you want, you know, that's going to build me up, that's going to support me, show active interest in the success of me, likes women and children, protects women and children, write everything down. I wrote all of that, has a great relationship, is in drama, is proud to have me with him, you know, blah, blah, blah, write every single thing on your list.

24:58But here's the catcher. when you write that list, because after I wrote all the list of what I wanted in a man, because before that I was like, I'm going to be this dedicated single woman forever. I don't need a man for anything. And, you know, I really thought that was going to be my life. I didn't even get married until I was 30. So, you know, and I wouldn't have until Grant sort of proposed. And then I was like, oh my God. But anyway, so after you write the list of what you want, turn around, if this actually became the man of your dreams. I saw when I wrote that list, I said, if this man actually exists, I could be with this man for the rest of my life.

25:38I wrote on there, like sexually compatible, like, you know, adventurous, fun. We fall in love with each other for, you know, all the stuff that I wanted. If he existed, this man existed, I could be with him. But now if this man existed from his point of view, from the perfect man, what are his qualities? What does he want in a woman? And I wrote them down. He would want monogamy. He would want someone who doesn't excessively drink alcohol, doesn't do drugs, wants to have a family. You see what I'm saying? Like is trustworthy, does what they say, isn't a drama queen, takes care of themselves physically.

26:23Trust me, every man wants that. Don't kid yourself. Don't be like, oh, he should love me just the way I am. Write what he would really want on his ideal scene. And when I did that, I realized at the time, this is back in time, right? 20 plus years ago. I saw how off I was. I was excessively drinking alcohol. I was hanging out in the clubs. I didn't want a family. I didn't want to be married. It wasn't that list that I even considered it. So then I started to go work on myself. How can I improve myself rather than thinking I'm entitled to this perfect person? How can you get yourself in your own ethical, moral code?

27:03How can you get yourself to be the woman that that man would attract? Do you know what I'm saying? I did that and that's when we kind of found each other almost immediately because I became comparable magnitude to the thing that I wanted. Now I could also speak on, you know, the emasculation and the this and the that of the men. And also let's have the woman take responsibility for her role in that only because I've been there and I did that. So I used to have, I'm this strong, independent, powerful woman. I never needed to depend on a man for anything. I had all my own expenses. I dated a couple of these guys, right?

27:41They lived with me. I don't need you for anything. I made all my decisions. You don't tell me what to do. I'm doing this with or without you. I made more money than them. But guess what that did? That attitude of not wanting to be needed or who wants to feel like that? I don't want to feel not needed. I don't want to feel in a relationship that Grant's going to not include me and go do whatever and whenever. So that made it so they wanted to go out and like cheat because they want to go be with a woman that does need them or care about them or, you know, is excited by them. They, I made it seem like I could care less.

28:19So I don't think that it's the fact that you make more money that emasculates the man. I feel like it's your attitude toward them and not including them in on the cycle. Not that you need to ask them how you spend your money, but it's a way that you treat them. That's inclusive. And there's a way that y 'all can come together and work out who you are as a couple, not just I am this with or without you, who were we as a couple? Who do we represent? Are we the winning couple? What are our goals? What are our dreams? What do we want to accomplish together? And then figure out who does what in the relationships based on your strengths and weaknesses, not male, female, on how you're going to get there.

29:00Because if I'm the big breadwinner in the family and I'm the female, but I have this guy who's supporting me and setting up and getting me everything that I need to run all the behind the scenes operations so that we, me can get there. He's equally as valuable. You understand? So it's about figuring it out and not caring about what the outside world is, but how you each contribute to the win and to the success of both of y 'all as a couple. Yeah. I've actually talked to couples where the woman is the big breadwinner and the guy is running the whole organization and her follow-up and administration where she gets to go out and be the artist and, you know, she's a sculptor, she's a famous person, whatever, blah, blah, blah.

29:42But you know what I'm saying? They don't have inner conflict because they have their thing worked out and so grooved in. They're intertwined with each other going for goals together.

29:53Hala Taha:Yeah. I feel like this is such a great segue to talk about your own experience with Grant. I learned that you guys had a different dynamic before the 2008 recession and after. And I think this illustrates exactly what you're saying so perfectly. Yeah. Well, we married in 2004. Again, I had it just ingrained in me. I wasn't trying to prove a point. It was just ingrained to me to be this strong, powerful, independent woman, never depend on a man for anything. That was just what was always sitting there. It wasn't spoken. It just lived in me. So for the first four years, I mean, Grant and I had, I had my goals.

30:30He had his goals. We had never come together and said, who are we as a couple? What do we represent and where do we want to go together? It was always me, him. So I would go out and produce and he would go out and produce and we'd come home and fight and battle because I was like, you're not going to tell me what to do. And I've lived on my own this whole time. And you don't own me just because you have more money than me. And I'm not going to make you a meal because you want a meal. I'm going to make you a meal because I want to make a meal, you know, just weird psycho stuff. I mean, this is the man I am married to and I am having issues with like making the man a meal, like that's messed up.

31:06Like how about support? Like just feed somebody who's hungry, you know what I'm saying? Without making it mean this. So we fought each other. So we build, build, build, and kind of tear it apart at night because we were playing small, bickering small. I was fighting, he was fighting tit for tat. Who's gonna get to be the boss? Who's this? Who's that? After 2008, different story. I'm pregnant with our first child. We're under a lawsuit. Economic collapse occurs. We're on the verge of losing everything financially. Now, what are you going to do? Now I had to take on the big gulf and say, wow, you know what?

31:40Why can't I depend on the man that I trusted and loved enough to marry? Why can't I depend on him? Why does society want to say, oh, you're codependent? Well, I am married. I am codependent on him. He is codependent on me. I show up for him. He shows up for me. I like that. I don't want to do this game alone. I want to build with somebody. I want to be able to depend on somebody who's got my back and vice versa. I had to go through all of this in my head. You know, I believe there's strengths in numbers. You know, I believe in the power of two and the power of more, you know? So that's after 2008, I was like, okay, this is when I had the idea.

32:22Who are we? Where are we going? What do we want to build? What does our empire look like in the future? It was very, this was the vision, but it did not look like that back then. And I took a big risk and I said, I'm betting on you, Grant. I'm trading in the acting career. I'm gonna come in and run background support. I'm gonna have your back. I'm gonna make you a meal. I'm gonna do whatever it takes for us to get ourselves out of this. You know, you need me to this, that, boom, boom, boom. I got you. Make connections, have a vision, hammer you to get going, not complain when you're out working too hard, never saying wins, enough, enough.

32:56Just keep pushing. Let's go, let's go, let's go. wins, celebrate the wins. Like I'm going to be your cheerleader. And that's what I did. And that's when everything started to just go zoom, zoom. We started to make major strides. We were no longer fighting. I had a role and he had a role and he doesn't show up 50 and I show up 50. I show up a hundred and he shows up a hundred. That's how we do our relationship. Whether we're fighting, we're arguing, we're mad. We hate each other that day. It doesn't matter. I'm showing up in the relationship 100%. And so is he. And that's the way we've been able to be so successful.

33:32Hala Taha:Yeah. And I definitely want to get into, you know, what it means to build an empire and all that. But before we get into that, there's a recession that everybody says is coming up. And so I'd love to hear your advice in terms of how couples and like should deal with that. What should they talk about and get aligned with? Because a lot of people break apart when the going gets tough. Right. You know, they should just become very aware. We're in a recession. It's happening. Even if it doesn't just be there, go there. Okay. What do we need to do? Economize. Okay. Let's shut out all the excess spending, which you should anyway, you're violating one of the principles that we, we know about money, you know, get on the same page on money.

34:08Where, where are we going to go? It's who's got my money. It's always a who, who's got your money. Who's going to, who can you exchange products and services with? It's a who it's people. How do you network? How do you get on the communication lines of the world? What can y 'all do to meet? How can you do 10x the amount of work? You know, now's the time to pour it on, not retreat. Now's the time to be around a 10x mindset. Now's the time to stay away from toxic people and small minded people. Now's the time to step away from the news and stop hearing the news. Accept it. Make your battle plan.

34:46Grant and I have three rules to money. One, you know how to earn it, right? Number two, you know how to store. It doesn't mean save. You save it in a bank, the money's going to zero. It's depreciating in value. Store it. And then number three, you store it so that you can invest it into a passive income asset. That's what Grant and I have done. We earn income. All earned income either goes to self-enhancement, back into myself and my business, not back into Chanel, not back into Gucci, not back into a nice car. It's sacrifice. Pay the price today so you can pay any price in the future. That's it.

35:22Be strict. Be disciplined. This is what Grant and I did for a decade before social media and you couldn't see us paying the price. We paid the price. What are you willing to give up in order to get where you wanted to go? We weren't doing fancy parties, dinners, no loaf time. We were working, hustling, right? Earned income either goes back into self, self-enhancement business, the rest gets stored, Okay, and that's it. Boom, boom, boom. Stored, stored. Then you get enough income producing asset. We created a fund, Cardone Capital. Anyone can invest, accredited, non-accredited. You can invest with us and have a piece of this from day one, income producing asset that either delivers a dividend monthly or quarterly, depending on how you came in as an investor.

36:08and that money, okay? And that money, number three, the passive income is what you spend on your Gucci, in our case, planes, because we've amassed such a mass fortune of it or an extra home or a this or a that. That's what, but until then we're in sacrifice phase. So if you can get into alignment on those three things and know how to do your finances and make agreements on, you know what? Now's the time we're gonna dig in. And even if we don't financially grow in the next year, but we grow spiritually, we grow in awareness, we grow with investing in whatever it is that you do in your business.

36:50You invest in your network that when the floodgates open, you're so far ahead of everybody else because you've had your discipline in for the last year. You know, people always ask me, what would you do if you lost all your money? I'm like, yeah, so it wouldn't take me nearly as long to get it the second time. The first time. Why? Because you can't take away what I know. You can't take away my connections. You can't take away my, my intelligence, my, my grit, my confidence, my discipline. You, you know, that's been earned. So now is the time to get together and say, you know what? Now is the time where we can get stronger, where we can fortify.

37:27Others are going to fail. Let's make a commitment to be the winning couple. Let's make a commitment to get on the other side of this so that we can help other people who are just like us. Start with a commitment. Reaffirm it. Every week, have your little, your meetings to powwow, to keep each other energized. Set small goals along the way, small little targets that you can hit along the way to feel good.

37:50Hala Taha:Yeah. So your story is so fascinating because a lot of people would think that you might be upset that you're leaving behind such a great modeling and acting career. But actually, you ended up still being in the spotlight, being very famous. And almost it's like you took a different path to get to the same place that you wanted to be. And to me, that's such a powerful lesson because a lot of people are so fixated on this one outcome of this is what I need to pursue my dream. This is the one outcome. But really, there's so many ways you can get to what you really want, which I think for you is like making an impact, you know, being known.

38:29Hala Taha:So, and so I'd love to hear your thoughts on that. Creativity follows commitment, you know? And once you make a commitment and you're open to the possibility, and once you know what you want, you know your purpose, all of a sudden you can start to see opportunities everywhere. And when you get out of the little tunnel vision, in my case, for me, I thought, the only thing I knew how to do was an acting career. What else can I do? I never went to college, never thought I was one of those smart chicks, you know? I thought that was the only thing. I had my whole identity wrapped up into it. It was very hard to make the move.

39:02And exactly what you said. Now, as I just made this commitment, I've used everything along the way. I've just used it all. But if I had that closed mindset, I wouldn't even be able to see. I use now that I was able to support Grant and to turn that into my superhero. That is my power. I'm not ashamed by that. other women have, in my case, I'm only speaking about my case. So I'm assuming that because I feel it, there have to be other women out there that feel the same way. But in the beginning, you know, I was this power woman. I moved to Los Angeles. I was the actress. I was this, I was that to come and then take a support role and figure out what all of that means.

39:44Like, oh, you can kind of want to shrink and shrivel. I was like, no, I've got to own this. I am the support. I did do this, own it. And now I'm on the forefront, empowering other women, owning and, you know, I'm building a real estate group with EXP where I have over 730 agents in my organization. I'm helping other powerful people build their empires. How? By doing the same thing that I did for Grant, offering infrastructure, mindset and support. Stop trying to fight it. These are your assets. Just embrace them and use them. Yeah.

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45:03Empires require people. No one can build an empire alone. So it's a metaphor for your life, right? This isn't the solopreneur. This is the empire. And my role, of course, in every empire that you have, you should be the king and the queen of your empire. And there's empires within the empires. My executive assistant, she gets to be the queen of her empire. And as the king and the queen, that means our relationship is the most sacred of the entire empire. Meaning I don't go to my friends and I metaphorically call them the chambermaids in this book as an example to say, if you're with the queen and you're with a king and that's the top, how can you go to anyone below you and ask advice about being with the king when they've never been with the king.

45:53They can't give you the advice. And why are you nattering and criticizing and complaining the king? And why would the king do that for the queen? And when you are allowed to seek your own counsel with each other and you protect each other, you're able to, the rest of the empire filters down and follows suit. So now I can work out my disagreements with my husband in private and I don't have to have dumped onto my friends that now have a negative outlook with him. I make up with him. They still have the negative outlook. Then I get with them. They have the negative outlook. I have to defend them or they bring up something that I've already hashed out and then I go home and refight all over again.

46:34Why? I don't do that. So an empire is about abundance. It's abundance in confidence. It's abundance in resources, finances, people. It's abundance on the mission. It's about wearing the crown, something that's greater than yourself. It's about something in your purpose being so important that you can be willing to feel scared or sad or lazy, but you'll still do it anyway because you have to do it for the crown, for the people, for the purpose, for the cause. It gets you going. It's being willing to think bigger than just yourself.

47:15Hala Taha:Yeah. So one of the things that I'm curious about is how you get your children involved in this empire. It's very interesting that you guys bring them up on stage. You don't see many successful couples even putting their kids on camera, but you guys have decided that your entire family is going to be this role model family in the limelight. I want to understand how you get buy-in from your kids to come along this journey. Well, I've just indoctrinated them from when they're very early, very young. You know, I've always tried to respect them as spiritual beings that are in little bodies. Not that they're adults, not that they've earned adult rights, but that their spiritual beings are not children.

47:55They can understand, not like dumb, you know, but like that they can actually understand. So I've communicated, look, Grant and I are superheroes and we want to make a difference for the better and we want to impact lives. And Grant wants to, you know, help financial literacy and help people take care of their finances and it helps their families. And, you know, me, I want to restore the family dynamic to society. And I want to empower women because I believe we're powerful and we can make a difference and make change on the planet. And so do you want to be a part of that? We ask them. We don't make them.

48:29We didn't decide. We invited them to participate. Do you want to be a part of this team that makes a difference for the better? Yes, yes, I want to be a superhero. You know, they're little, right? Great. This is how you can do this. You can show up with us at events. You can dance on the stage. You can pass out the flyers. You can, you know, sometimes when we have to leave you behind because we have to go do an event when you're okay, when the nanny is watching you and I don't have to worry about you and I can give to that audience and then they can take it home and then they can go make their lives better for their kids.

49:03You're contributing. Do you realize you're not there, but you're contributing because you let us go. distraction-free, that is a way you are exchanging with us. So I let them see that they can exchange from a very young age. And now, as you can see, they're 13. Sabrina's on a trip with Grant today about meeting with a very big group for apartments and whatnot. And she does the real estate king with them. And they do 10X Kids. And they're putting together a show, Mini Moguls, together. And, you know, they speak at Grant Cardone Foundation to other children. Like, you know, they've taken an active role because they've been allowed to contribute and exchange with as much as they're willing to do.

49:47I feel like that's so beautiful. You want to help. Your kids want to help, you know? Like, it's just understanding that, you know, it might not look like in the form that you're used to. So, you know, from a very young age, if the kid sees you on the computer all day long and they come over and they start pounding on your computer, as difficult as it may be to not be like, stop it, what are you doing? You just ruined my document. But being and having the intellect enough to realize the kid is coming over who loves you so much and is trying to contribute. They're trying to help you by pounding on your computer.

50:25They want to contribute. So, you know, from a young age, it was, oh, wow, thank you so much. Wow, that was amazing. They're like, yay, you know, feel all great. And you take your computer and undo all the little marks that they made and, you know, continue. But it's allowing, it's about parents recognizing like even a smile or a performance or a dinner they want to make you. I remember they made us dinners and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches or whatever. It's like it's allowing them to to discharge that debt that they feel. Can you imagine a kid has been given everything? They can't do anything.

51:04They want to feel even from young ages that they are self-determined, that they can do things, that they can give back and they can contribute. And it's important for parents to recognize and allow their children to contribute.

51:18Hala Taha:I love that. So my last question before we start to close this out is really about you being a role model. Um, you know, people think it's easy to just get on camera every day to always sort of make the right decisions to always, you know, hold yourself with a certain amount of honor and grace, but it's not easy to be a role model. I know that I've got a lot of fans on LinkedIn, for example, and sometimes I want to respond to a mean comment or did, but then I remember I'm a, I'm a role model to so many people that are looking up to me and you have it, you know, a hundred times as most people. So I'd love to understand how you deal with that.

51:54Oh, so that's very easy. Like, you know, you mentioned wanting to respond to somebody. I have all those impulses too. What helps me in those situations, it isn't really necessarily that, and I should maybe look and say, wait, I'm a role model here. But I don't. What I do is I go, look, my purpose is so big. I'm trying to restore the value of family dynamic to the world. I'm trying to empower women to empower themselves, to empower their families, their communities. And I feel like I'm so far from having that goal achieved on this planet that I can't waste a second if that's the goal. And then every time somebody says something negative about me, I go chase it down.

52:39What am I doing right now? I'm going down this rabbit hole. that enemy, that hater has now successfully distracted me from achieving my target because I'm off my target and I'm onto them. And now I'm flowing power. Somebody like me, somebody like you who has power, who has influence. Now I've put my attention, your attention, your power onto them and I'm flowing them power, even if it's a negative comment or whatever. Like, like, can you imagine the flow of power you just gave them and how much they receive by pulling you off of your agenda. So I don't engage because I can't afford to engage. I am so busy trying to get my mission accomplished.

53:23That saves me. Now, if somebody tries to, and it's a rare circumstance, the real enemy who tries to threaten my family, our staff, our investors, somebody who's really evil intention, not somebody that's just going to say I look like, oh God, what do they call me? A drag queen. They say I look like a drag queen, whatever. The people that want to, or say that I'm a gold digger or a trophy wife. They try to say these, which all of which I use to my benefit in the end. But, you know, I'm not talking about comments like that. I'm talking about real threats or those, those people, I am not afraid to come off of my post, you know, my job.

54:06And I'm not afraid to make an example out of them and for all to see, because I want people to know I do fight for my friends. I do fight for my group. You're not allowed to harm me, my family, my people. It won't happen on my watch. And it only happens about maybe once every five years, but I'm not afraid to stab those people in a public arena because I don't want, I want people to know what the threat is for coming after me and my group. But that's rare. The haters, they're like barking dogs on a, on a, on the wheel of a fire truck. Like is the fire truck who's trying to put out a fire going to stop to kick the dog away from biting the tire?

54:49No, you're going to keep going and the dog's going to tire out. And all the haters do because they can't even match your energy. They don't. All the energy that they have is to try to bring you down. Yeah. You know, and when that fails, they peter out. Yeah.

55:06Hala Taha:I love what you're saying. You're basically saying save your energy for when it really matters and all that little stuff, just let it slide off your back because you don't want to feed your energy. Give them your good energy. Right. Because that's what they want. They want to bring you down. That's right. And The best revenge is to flourish and prosper. It's the best revenge. It's the best for all involved. The more you succeed, the less hate you have for those people, you know, and it actually heals you from actually wanting revenge, you know, and you're doing good for the world. So the solution to everything is to flourish and prosper.

55:43Hala Taha:So Elena, I want to be respectful of your time. I know we have just a couple of minutes left. So I end my interviews with the same couple of questions. The first one is, what is one actionable thing that our young and profiters can do today to become more profitable tomorrow? Profitable. You know, stop studying the self-proclaimed experts and really start getting mentors. Study the big guys, the big guys. Study what is Elon Musk doing? How do they take on debt? How do they use debt? What are they doing? Like model them. What are the greats doing? So find the people and study what they're doing.

56:24Study the people that have the statistic in the area of which you want to succeed in and go deep on everything that they do. Learn everything that they do and stop trying to get pieces here and there and just study it deep until you master that one thing.

56:41Hala Taha:I love that advice. Nice. And what is your secret to profiting in life? And this doesn't have to be related to financially profiting can be profiting in relationships, for example, anything. The secrets of profiting for me is I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm huge on this. I don't live from the past into the present. That's normal. I don't like normal. I live from the future to the present. So I look at where I want to go, who I want to be, who I want to be around, what do I want in my life? and I reverse engineer and take the actions necessary in order to become that person that I wanna be in the future. And so that's where I'm always looking from.

57:21I'm living from now from my future self, not my past. When I disconnected from that, I really started to profit and have gains. Otherwise, I was looking at the past. I don't wanna buy this program because the last program didn't work and I failed. Well, I'm not the same person. Maybe I do the new program in a new unit of time and this time it works. Every time I compared myself to the pastor, this relationship's not going to work because the last relationship didn't work. Everything from the past, the past, I could never get ahead. Once I finally said, this is who I am. I want to know about finances.

57:53I want to be a good speaker. I want to be confident. I want to be competent. Every single course I've done since then has worked because I go, I need to have X, Y, and Z. Once I get through check, check, check, check, then I get to be that girl, that girl that I want. So every single thing that I do has impact meaning. I know it's going to work because I see who I'm supposed to be. I just have to get through the checklist of all my action items and then I get to have. It is a complete game changer.

58:22Hala Taha:I love that you're bringing this up. I just had a conversation with Ben Hardy and our whole conversation was about future self. And he told me something that I want to just share with my listeners really quick because it's related with what you just said. But basically, it's like you're not your future self yet. You're not your past self. We only are who we are in this moment. Your past self is dead. People who hurt you in the past, they're not the same people anymore. They've had new experiences. They think differently. They're doing different things. They have different jobs. It's literally the person who broke your heart, the person who fired you.

58:54Hala Taha:You can't stay mad at them because they're not the same person. That person doesn't exist anymore. So the past doesn't even matter anymore. And if you spend your time there, you're never going to get to where you want to go. So all you can do is be in your present self and work on your future self. So true. It's been a game changer for me. I like that advice. Thank you so much, Elena. I really appreciate having you on the show. And thanks for coming on. Oh, it's been an honor. Thank you so much for having me and introducing me to all your amazing audience. Thank you.