developing personal style, advice session

0:00Emma Chamberlain:Welcome back to Advice Session, a series here on Anything Goes where you send in your current dilemmas or anything that you want advice on, and then I give you my unprofessional advice. And today's topic is personal style, which I find to be a complex topic because personal style is sort of undefinable. Like there is a definition for the term personal style, but personal style is undefinable. It's unique to the person wearing the clothing. It's unique to the person who has the style. That's the whole point. And so that's what makes it sort of complicated to discuss. There's no guide to personal style because only you can figure out your personal style.

0:47Emma Chamberlain:I mean, one can give tips and tricks on how to discover one's personal style, but there's no step-by-step guide because it's such a personal experience in such a personal form of expression. But I will say the topic of personal style has only become more complicated as trend cycles have sped up, causing fatigue among people who enjoy fashion to the point where now personal style has become a trend as a response to trend cycles being impossible to keep up with, which kind of goes against the entire ethos of what personal style is, because the whole point of personal style is that it rejects trends.

1:31Emma Chamberlain:It's unique to one's own character and taste. But now that personal style is a trend, what personal style is has become even harder to define, to point out, to recognize, because there are certain people out there who have taken this sort of trend of personal style and found themselves in it. But there's also some people who have decided to copy people on the internet who have a very distinct personal style and then label that as their own personal style, if that makes sense. And I don't think there's anything wrong with that, right? Like, I don't, I don't think there's anything morally wrong with following trends.

2:15Emma Chamberlain:I really don't. Like, if that's a hobby for you, if that's something you're really passionate about, really excited about and something that you can do somewhat responsibly from a consumer perspective, like not over-consuming or whatever. Even if you're over, who am I to judge? I'm not going to tell people what to do or what's right and wrong. Like I just, it's not my place. But my point in saying all of this is personal style has become more complicated of a topic than ever because the concept of personal style is trendy, if that makes sense. This episode is presented to you by eBay. We all have that piece.

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3:28Emma Chamberlain:eBay, things people love. I like to believe that I've found my personal style. I would like to believe that. I went through this journey over the last few years of looking at my closet, analyzing my style, acknowledging that it's sort of a hot mess. I had way too many clothes and I had no defined sense of style. I just kind of would wear whatever. I would kind of just throw shit at the wall and see if it stuck. I collected a large amount of clothing to give me maximum options when getting dressed so that every day I could wear something completely unique. But it sort of backfired, didn't really work out, just left me wearing outfits half the time that I wasn't really happy with.

4:13Emma Chamberlain:And I also came to the conclusion that having that many pieces of clothing was toxic and bad for a bazillion different reasons. And so I went through my closet, got rid of, I'm not kidding, 90 % of the clothes that I had and really defined what my personal style is at this point in my life. And I feel pretty confident in it. Like I feel like it's the most consistent it's ever been, but I'm not 100 % sure that I have it all figured out. Even though I feel like I have a good sense of what my personal style is today, I'm young and who knows what I'm going to like in five years. It might remain consistent.

4:52Emma Chamberlain:It might completely change. And I might five years down the line realize, oh wait, now this is my personal style. Who knows? So I don't think I have it all figured out, but I definitely have it more figured out now than I ever have before in a very tangible way. Like my closet, I have a very specific color palette. I have a lot of silhouettes that I gravitate towards. Like I feel like to me, it feels cohesive and it feels like me. So as always, take my advice with a grain of salt. I still have a lot of learning and growing to do in the fashion department. I mean, I have a lot of learning and growing to do in every department.

5:27Emma Chamberlain:And that's exciting to me. But I have to preface with that because I'm about to give advice. And so I need to tell you where I'm at before you go ahead and take my advice. You know what I mean? Well, without further ado, let's get into it. Okay. Somebody said, I'm shifting from a very young style and I want to become more mature and sophisticated, but I have no idea how. I think the first thing you have to do is understand what makes style feel juvenile versus mature. I mean, I think we all have sort of a basic idea of what feels young, juvenile, immature versus mature and sophisticated. I think if it's a goal for you to mature your style, you need to clearly define it in your mind.

6:13Emma Chamberlain:You need to have a very clear understanding of what feels juvenile and what feels mature. I would say in my head, Personally, when I think of immature juvenile clothing, I think of bright clothing, bright colors. I think of busyness, lots of little random details. I think of trendy things. And I think of basic silhouettes. 11-year-olds don't need to wear like a tailored coat or like a tailored pair of dress pants. I feel like when you're young, you know, oftentimes you're wearing simple silhouettes, right? That's easy for parents to buy for their kids, easy for young adults to pick out for themselves.

7:01Emma Chamberlain:And I'm not saying tailored as in like tailored pieces that were taken to a tailor to professionally hem and cinch and blah, blah, blah. I mean pieces that have more complex tailoring that caters to the body shape more. When I think of mature clothing, I think of a thoughtful color palette, not necessarily a dull or neutral color palette, but colors that make sense together, colors that complement each other. I think that you can have a mature style that is bright and colorful and exciting, but I think the difference between a mature color palette and an immature color palette is the thoughtfulness and the balance that goes into the outfit.

7:44Emma Chamberlain:Like when you're, I don't know, 14 years old, you'll put like a bright pink pair of pants on with like white t-shirt that has a massive like rainbow graphic on it. And you'll wear like blue shoes and it's just like a, I don't know, you'll just do random shit because you're a kid and you don't, your taste isn't developed yet. You'll just put a bunch of fun, bright things together and call it a day because you don't know any better. The older you get, the more that feels uneducated and it feels more immature. I think mature clothing is often more refined and timeless, not necessarily more simple, but less busy, less chaotic, less graphic heavy, pattern heavy.

8:28Emma Chamberlain:I mean, I guess sometimes, you know, there's mature clothing that has patterns, But it's more refined. It's more timeless. Maybe the intrigue is in subtle details rather than like a bright graphic of like a dog on the T-shirt or I don't know, some sort of glittery decal, you know, instead of that, it's more simple, right? Like perhaps a classic pattern like stripes, perhaps a simple white shirt that has beautiful, ruffly sleeves and ties on the front and maybe some button details. Like the intrigue is still there, but it's in a much more refined, timeless way. And then last but not least, I think mature clothing is more tailored, you know, instead of simple silhouettes, like a simple pair of jeans, a simple t-shirt.

9:19Emma Chamberlain:When I think of mature clothing, I think of the perfect t-shirt. I think of a really beautifully fitting pair of jeans. I think of gorgeous boxy coat with big shoulders or a beautiful pair of pants that are perfectly tight around the waist and the thighs, but maybe have a nice flare, like a bit more shape. That's kind of how I separate immature versus mature, but that can be a really helpful step in this process. I briefly interrupt this episode to let you know that this episode is brought to you by State Farm. Insurance may all seem the same on the surface but having insurance isn't the same as having State Farm.

10:00Emma Chamberlain:It's like a friend telling you that they've got tea only for them to mean like tea tea, you know, English breakfast, peppermint green, not the juicy gossip you were expecting. You wouldn't sit there pretending you're satisfied with hot water and leaves so don't settle for just any insurance. When it comes to getting the help you need, State Farm is the real deal. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. Now back to the episode. This episode is brought to you by eBay. Tell me if I'm alone here, but shopping used to feel more fun before all the algorithm fed blah and the endless sea of dupes. But I have a confession.

10:37Emma Chamberlain:I found that fun feeling again on eBay. It's not mindless scrolling. It's a fashion pursuit. And when you score that rare sneaker or that bag you've been manifesting, it's a rush. eBay has millions of pre-loved finds from hundreds of brands backed by eBay authenticity guarantee. eBay, things people love. Now, when it comes to building a more mature wardrobe, that's also a personal journey, but I have some tips. Number one, I think until you've built out a mature wardrobe, stick to the basic pieces that you have in your closet. The most timeless, the most simple stuff that you have. T-shirts, jeans, plain pants.

11:24Emma Chamberlain:The easiest way to mature your style is to simplify your style until you have the time to find those pieces that are interesting but also mature. I think simplicity is a great first step. Almost everybody has simple pieces in their closet, even if you have an immature collection of clothing. And by the way, immature is often used as an insult, but I'm not using it as an insult here. It's like more of just like a fact, like young style, juvenile style, but immature is just rolling off the tongue for me. So that's why I'm saying it. But I think the first step in the right direction without even having to buy anything is to just start wearing your more simple pieces.

12:05Emma Chamberlain:And I know that that can sometimes feel boring, but if you're excited about the idea of maturing your style, I think this can be a wonderful first step. The next step I would say would be to analyze your current immature wardrobe to figure out what colors and shapes you already know that you like, because it's not a good idea had to go out and just start shopping. You want to kind of get a plan. I wish I would have done this when I was younger. I wish I would have thought more about my personal style as an adult before going out and shopping for myself as an adult. But I didn't, I don't know, I didn't even think to do that.

12:44Emma Chamberlain:And if I could go back, I would. So I would say the first step in trying to figure out who you are as a mature, stylish person would be to look at what you already like. Like, what's your favorite shirt? Maybe it's a super bright blue sweater that has like a dog on it and there's like, and the dog has like a rainbow on it, whatever. Okay. Well, now you know that you like crew neck sweaters and you like the color blue on you, you know, let's say your favorite pair of pants is like a pair of bedazzled flare jeans, like the miss me jeans or like true religion type jeans. Like maybe that's your favorite pair of pants.

13:20Emma Chamberlain:Well, now you know that you like, you know, flare, like pants that flare. You like the way that they look on you. I don't know. Analyze what you already have and what you think looks good on you and start to get an understanding of what you like. But then from there, go on Pinterest. In this episode, I'm going to be telling you to go on Pinterest a lot, but I think it's really helpful to make a Pinterest board, some sort of collection of images. You don't necessarily have to go on Pinterest. You could buy magazines and cut pictures out. You could go on Google images. You could read a fashion book, like make a board of stuff that you like.

13:56Emma Chamberlain:I think when you're making a board for inspiration, you don't necessarily need to like make every single thing you add to your mood board. Perfect. I think just having a defined board of what you like is good enough. And then from there, you can analyze what you've added to your board and then go from there. You know what I'm saying? Because I don't think the right idea is to make a mood board and then buy everything you put on the mood board. A mood board is the most helpful, not really for like exact things that are on it, but rather just a vibe, a feeling, a color palette. It's more for recognizing reoccurring themes, items, colors, vibes, etc.

14:43Emma Chamberlain:So once you've sort of analyzed your own closet and made some sort of mood board, then I think it's time to start shopping in person. But I don't mean actually shopping in person. I don't mean actually buying things necessarily. I mean, just spending every other weekend or so going out and trying on clothes. Try new silhouettes you've never tried before. Try on colors and be honest with yourself and start to learn about what you like on you. Now that you have a clear understanding of what you like not on you and a little bit on you from what you, you know, used to wear when you were younger, now it's time to figure out, okay, wait, what kind of mature clothes do I actually like on me?

15:20Emma Chamberlain:And I think experimenting in person, trying on clothes, touching clothes is incredibly helpful. When you're in a new phase of your fashion journey, it's so important to experiment without commitment. Don't just start ordering stuff online. Go in person and try things on and really critically think about how you feel about the things that you're trying on. Does it feel like you? Does it look good on you? Ask yourself these questions and be honest with yourself. This is a journey that takes time. If you try to rush it, you'll end up with a closet full of stuff that doesn't feel like you, or you'll end up with a closet full of stuff that maybe isn't perfect.

15:57Emma Chamberlain:Like you end up with stuff that's kind of uncomfortable or maybe a little itchy. Like if you try to rush the process, you'll end up with a wardrobe that you regret later. It needs to be a slow, experimental process. And in this process of sort of trying things on, experimenting, every once in a while, you might stumble upon a piece that's perfect. You're like, wait, this is so me. It fits perfectly. It's so comfortable. I love the way it feels. It matches the vibe of my mood board that I made. And it looks really good on me. Like, this is just great. This is perfect. I'm going to get it. That's going to happen every once in a a while.

16:32Emma Chamberlain:But it's not going to happen every time you go shopping. Like it probably won't. And so your expectation should be, I'm just experimenting. I think going into shopping, you should have the mindset of, I'm just trying to figure out what looks good on me and is mature. And then you will end up finding good pieces as well. And then I think this journey continues for years. It's not something that happens overnight. If this is something that is important to you and exciting to you, it's something that you're going to continue for the rest of your life, collecting pieces that are perfect and are you and feel mature.

17:06Emma Chamberlain:That's my suggestion. Moving on. Somebody said, how do I figure out what style looks good on me and feels like me? So we've already sort of discussed this with the last thing, but we didn't really get into it, okay? Because this is its own sort of dilemma. When it comes to figuring out what looks good, there's a few things that you can do. Number one, look at photos of yourself and try on clothes that you already have and really analyze what looks good on you. It sounds so obvious, but like, I can't tell you how many years it took for me to make the connection between what I like not on me and what I like on me.

17:53Emma Chamberlain:I used to have so many pieces of clothing in my closet that looked genuinely terrible on me, but I bought them because I liked them off of me, you know, and I can't tell you how many times I've like put something on and looked in the mirror and been like, I don't know that this looks really good, but I like the outfit. So I guess I'll wear it. And then I've ended up being kind of disappointed. It took me a very long time to learn the practice of analyzing how something looks on me, being honest with myself about whether or not it's flattering. But I think it's a mindset shift of like realizing that just because you like something on a mannequin doesn't mean you're going to like it on yourself.

18:30Emma Chamberlain:Just because you like something you saw on Pinterest doesn't mean you're going to like it on yourself. And so I think trying clothes on in your closet, holding things up and seeing what colors look the best on you, looking at past photos and looking at what colors and silhouettes look the most flattering. I can't even tell you how long it took me to learn that, you know? And now I know what looks good on me and I know what to avoid. I had this epiphany about it one day as though it wasn't obvious. It's weird. We don't tend to think about clothing that way as much, especially in the age of the internet when, you know, we're taking inspiration from people we see on social media.

19:08Emma Chamberlain:We're making Pinterest boards. We're shopping online. A lot of our shopping and picking out of clothing is not really about how it looks and feels on us. It's about how it looks on others, how it's marketed to us. Do you know what I'm saying? And then when it comes to figuring out what feels like you, I would say, number one, again, make a mood board. It is so helpful. Now, I will say mood boards are composed usually of somewhat trendy imagery, right? Like a lot of the images we see on Pinterest, on Instagram, in magazines, there's a lot of trendy stuff out there. But I still think it's really valuable to make a mood board because then you can, as I mentioned earlier, start to pick up on patterns, colors that you're gravitating towards, silhouettes that you're gravitating towards, a vibe that you're gravitating towards.

19:59Emma Chamberlain:But then from there, there's a question of how do you personalize it? How do you make it feel you? Every time you put on an outfit, every time you're trying on a piece at a store, every time you're scrolling online and you find something that you like, you need to ask yourself why you like it. Do you like it because you saw something similar on Pinterest and you thought it looked really good on that person and it's trendy and it's in and you'll fit in if you wear it? Or do you like it because it feels like you? It's something that when you look at it, you're like, oh, that actually properly represents me as a person in a weird way.

20:44Emma Chamberlain:Now, it's hard because it's not that obvious what a piece of clothing is trying to say. Like if you're wearing a band tee for your favorite band, yeah, that obviously sends a message to other people that you like this band. But like a black and white striped sweater doesn't have an obvious message. Do you know what I'm saying? It's a black and white sweater. But to me, when I think of a black and white striped sweater, personally, I think of like creepy Tim Burton movies. I think of maybe a little bit punk edgy a little bit, not a lot, but like a little bit. It feels kind of artsy to me, though, too, a little bit like black and white stripes can feel, you know, a few different ways, but I could see it feeling any one of those vibes or say like a classic pair of raw denim jeans.

21:35Emma Chamberlain:What does that say? I mean, they're classic. They're timeless. They're also sophisticated in the way that they're raw denim and they're very sharp and they're not worn in. And, you know, they're very sort of they're an elegant sort of pair of pants. There's something about a pair of raw denim pants that feels like going to the library. I don't know why, you know, whatever. When I when I these are just examples of how I perceive clothing and what they say to me when you're shopping, you know, when you're putting together an outfit, you need to ask yourself, does what the clothing say align with you as a person?

22:12Emma Chamberlain:Or do you just like it because it's trendy and because other people are wearing it and because it's like the cool thing to have right now? You know, does it actually is there some sort of personal connection with how this particular pair of clothing reads with you or no. And I think once you look at clothing in that sort of way, you can begin to recognize what feels like you and what doesn't. But that's sort of a sixth sense that I think you develop over time. The more you think about clothing and style and fashion, I think the more that you get into it, the more that sixth sense sort of strengthens.

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24:47Emma Chamberlain:Two good creamers are available in sweet cream, roasted vanilla, and lavender. So which are you trying first? Find two good creamers at your local retailer in the creamer aisle. Another tip would be to pay attention to what makes you feel the most confident. There's an undeniable link between wearing clothing that feels like you and confidence. You know, when I'm wearing an outfit that doesn't feel like me, which happens sometimes, like it happens to everybody. Sometimes I'll put something together and I'll be like, oh, I really like this. And then maybe it doesn't feel fully like me. And I realize that, you know, a few hours into wearing it, I'm like, this doesn't feel like me.

25:23Emma Chamberlain:That's fine. That's normal. That's a part of experimenting, right? But pay attention to what makes you feel the most confident because I think what makes you feel the most confident is what feels the most you. Last but not least, I think it can be helpful to examine your personality and then connect your personality to clothing. Allow that to guide you in picking out clothing. Now, when I say personality, I obviously mean who you are. Are you shy? Are you introverted? Or are you outgoing and extroverted? Are you angsty? Or are you kind and soft and warm? You know, are you rebellious or are you a rule follower?

26:05Emma Chamberlain:Try to figure out which elements of yourself you feel the most confident about, you want to display the most, and then find clothing that feels like that. Like if you're a rebel and that's something you're really proud of, then wear rebellious clothing. But beyond that, when it comes to analyzing your personality, also pay attention to the things that you like. What are your favorite movies? What's your favorite type of music to listen to. Pay attention to your taste in everything else. And again, let that guide you in finding clothes that feel like you. You know, if you really like pop music, right?

26:43Emma Chamberlain:Pop music tends to be light and bright. Maybe that means that your vibe is like a cute, simple dress. I don't fucking know, but you know what I'm saying? It's like, I think a lot of times our taste is pretty consistent, you know, and it all kind of make sense together a lot of times, or there's through lines or whatever. And I think that can, again, help guide you when it comes to shopping. Like for me, for example, I can give a great example of how my taste in other things impacts my taste in clothing. Like I personally love creepy animated movies. Like I love Coraline. You know, I love the aesthetic of like the Nightmare Before Christmas and all of those different types of movies.