the lies i tell myself

29:17And that is really hard to accept. It is really hard to accept when you've been rejected. It's incredibly challenging. It takes a huge toll on your confidence. It's a tough one. And so it's not fun to admit when you're not over it, because in some ways that's sort of an admittance of the rejection that you've experienced in a way. If you still miss them, that's a painful reminder that you've been rejected. Whereas if you're over it, in a way, that's a power position. You're like, I'm over it and I'm rejecting them. I'm over it. I'm rejecting them. Now I'm rejecting them. I don't care anymore. You know, it's really, it's uncomfortable.

30:02And it's even more challenging when you're out and you're dating and perhaps you've met somebody new and maybe you started to date them. But deep down, you're still not over it. And you're like, fuck, I want to be fully present, but I can't because I'm still caught up in this. But all I want to do is be moved on so that I can, you know, start my new life or whatever. But it just takes time. And I think a lot of us don't want to admit how much time it takes. And so I've told that lie to myself many times. I mean, I guess just twice, really. More than twice, but like really badly twice. Moving on, another lie that I tell myself is that if I buy this book and I leave it on my nightstand, inevitably I'll read it.

30:50Obviously I'll read it. I have like five books on my nightstand right now that I've bought in the last six months that I have not picked up. And the reason for that is, listen, I have excuses for why I haven't read them. But I actually think that those excuses are further lies, which concerns me. I'll tell you my excuse and then we can decide together if I'm lying to myself. My excuse for why I have not read those books is because I've been honestly working too much. And reading to me is not, it's not, the books that I bought that I put on my nightstand are educational. They're not escapism. And I've been working so much that the thought of like reading to me is just further work in a way, which will be appealing to me at some point, but it's not to me right now because by the end of the day, I've expended my brain.

31:42Like I don't have anything left. I can't do anything else hard. You know, I need to just escape into something, whether that's a YouTube video or just going to bed. So that's my excuse. I do think that's a lie in a way. Like I do think I'm lying to myself. I could make time to read those books if I really wanted to, but I'm choosing not to, right? But the initial lie, let's go back to the lie, okay? The lie is if I buy a book and put it on my nightstand, I'll read it. That's just not true because what I know about books, and listen, I'm not the most, I'm not the biggest reader, okay? I read sometimes, but I'm not the biggest reader at all.

32:23But I go through phases. I think the truth of a book is that it needs to come to you at the right time for you to want to read it. Just simply needs to be the right time, especially with something educational that you're going to teach yourself about voluntarily, right? Obviously, when it's a school book, you got to read it. You're at school. But when you're in the classroom of life, okay, and you can read a book whenever you want, an educational book. I think it can be hard to motivate unless you pick it up at the right time, you know, and you have kind of a hunger for that particular topic. And I just don't have an appetite for learning about the particular topics that are on my nightstand right now.

33:03I just don't have that appetite. And so I think the expectation that like by having them there, I'll read them is just unrealistic because for whatever reason, I just don't have the appetite for those right now. But then I think when this becomes detrimental is that I have these books on my nightstand, right, that I bought because I really want to learn about these things eventually. And so I'm keeping them on my nightstand because I want to motivate myself to read them. But the problem is they are not speaking to me right now. So I'm not picking them up. But the issue with that is now I'm just not reading anything.

33:38whereas if I were to say you know what these books aren't speaking to me right now I'm gonna go put them in my book collection keep them there until I'm ready for them and in the meantime I'm gonna go look through my book collection and find something that is speaking to me and I'm gonna put that on my nightstand and so when I have a moment where reading is appealing to me at least I'm reading something because I think reading books is very important but it is hard to motivate now more than ever, very hard. It's very, very hard for most of us to read. There are so many other things that are much more dopaminergic.

34:13You know, is that even a word? I say that word all the time and I actually have never Googled it. So I don't know. I think I used it right. So I'm just going to pretend that I did. Yeah. So I need to be much more intentional about the books that I keep on my nightstand so that I actually read more, you know, instead of being like, you know what, I'm going to be disciplined and harsh with myself. And I'm going to put these books on my nightstand, I'm going to buy them, because these are things I need to learn about. And I'm going to put them on my nightstand. And I'm going to read them, because I need to learn about these things right now.

34:46Instead of doing that, which fails every time, I'm just going to start maybe, you know, I can collect books. But instead of putting them on my nightstand and convincing myself, I'm going to read them just because they're there. I'm going to be more intentional about the books I keep on my nightstand. That's what I'm gonna start doing. Okay, moving on. Another lie that I tell myself is that every guy that talks to me, looks at me even, is in love with me. It's so embarrassing that I do this. It's really embarrassing. Like I barely wanted to include this on the list. I didn't want to admit to it.

35:21But this is a lie that I tell myself. I kid you not. It's not good. I feel like that's like a narcissistic trait. Like, I feel like that's a sign of narcissism. Like, I feel like this is not like this is a red flag about me. You know what I mean? We should all hold up the red flag. This is bad. But at least I'm aware of it. And I know that it's like kind of ridiculous and narcissistic. This is not to say that sometimes they're not in love with me, like maybe, but like, okay, I'll give you, you know, I'll tell you a story. This proves that I'm a little delulu. okay one time I was at a bar in New York out of my out of my element and I walk in I'm sitting at the bar with my friends and this very gorgeous very gorgeous guy comes in gorge gorge I was like whoa that is a hot guy okay and I couldn't help it I was looking I had to look a little which can go a long way if you look and you can get a little eye contact for a second sometimes that can start a conversation later you know what I mean it's like a little message you know it is so I was doing a little looking and then I looked away whatever and I was like we like locked eyes for maybe one second or like or it was either that or like I looked and then I looked away and then I could feel that he looked at me and I was like I'm so fucking in it was like I'm in I'm so in he wants to marry me he wants to be with me forever he is at K Jewelers getting me a ring tonight.

36:56He's breaking in to the jewelers to get me a ring because that's how fucking obsessed with me he is. He can't stop thinking about me. He just laid eyes on me and for the rest of his life, he will never stop thinking about me. This is how I'm thinking in my head. Okay. Going, going, going, spiraling. Spiraling, if you will. Positive spiral. Well, delusional spiral, but fun spiral. And I'm like, okay, I'm going to look away. Obviously, I have to like, you know, play hard again. I'm just not going to look again for like at least 10 minutes, you know, like got to seem busy, busy, busy because that works wonders with boys.

37:31And so I wasn't looking and I'm just minding my own business. Eventually I decide, all right, I got to shoot my shot again. Let me just look back. Shooting my shot for me, by the way, is looking. That's it. Because I do not flirt very well. Actually, I think I flirt. Actually, I know I don't flirt very well. I'm very subtle and very dry and very scared, but it works in its own little way. So I decide to do some heavy hitting flirting, Emma style, look back. He has a boyfriend. They are very romantic. He's fully in a relationship and he's gay. He could be bi. So maybe he thought I was hot and he wanted this, but he was fully in a relationship.

38:10He, that was a, that was a miscalc for me, to be honest. Do you know what I mean? Like I really miscalced. Is there a chance? Is there a slim chance that maybe? No, I, to be honest that I don't think so. I think I miscalculated on that one. Um, so yeah, it's fine. Yeah. I've actually also had that with like guys that I found out later were married and stuff, but see, I guess even in relationship, you never really know, Like you never really know, you know, even if you end up seeing them with their partner or whatever, it's like you still don't really know. But moving on. Okay, the next lie I tell myself is that I need to be alone majority of the time to maintain a creative output.

38:57I need to be alone 95 % of the time to be creative. And I do think to an extent that being alone is important for my creative process. It absolutely is because a lot of the things that I do and I make, I make by myself. You know, I record these podcast episodes by myself. I film and edit my YouTube videos. Oftentimes, well, I do the editing, especially by myself. I do the conceptualizing of YouTube videos by myself. I do a lot of brainstorming for concepts for Chamberlain Coffee by myself. I'm a control freak and I like to do things by myself. And a lot of times I do need to be by myself to come up with ideas.

39:34But I think to a certain extent, that's healthy. And then beyond that, it actually becomes unhealthy. And I'm actually stifling my creativity by not involving other people. And so that's a lie I tell myself, that being alone is crucial. And I think, again, this one's complicated because to an extent that's true. But I think I take it beyond. And I'll spend an entire week completely by myself in my creative bubble talking to almost no one. And that means not talking to people on a creative level, like not collaborating with anybody, but also just not talking to anyone in general. Because that's the thing about this lie.

40:12I believe I need to be alone, not only creatively, meaning I need to work on projects alone with no creative partners, but also I believe that I need to be alone away from friends, away from people in general to be creative. And the truth is, when it comes to creative collaborators, that can be incredibly helpful sometimes to have somebody to bounce ideas off of. Again, is it always the answer? No, but I could probably do a little bit more of that. Also, if you're not living your life outside with people, you will run out of creative ideas. And I know that that's true, but I will lie to myself and convince myself that going outside, spending time with people, being in the world is getting in the way of me being creative because it's wasting time.

41:00But that's not true. You know, a lot of my inspiration for things comes from lived experience with other people. So I guess the lie is that I need to be alone all the time when I really just need to be alone some of the time. And that's something I really need to work on like right now, because I have been alone a lot in the last few months, a lot. And for a while, it was working for me, you know, and I was getting so much done and I was being so creative. But then at a certain point, I just became kind of empty. And I need to, I don't know, but it's hard because I'm so type A and I'm so obsessed with, I'm a workaholic in a way.

41:44and so it's hard for me at times to justify like involving other people or taking time away from working on things creatively to live my life like that's really hard for me because by nature I'm a workaholic if you will that's what everybody in my life calls me there like everyone is like Emma is a workaholic and needs help and I do need help a little bit but it's something I'm actively working on because that lie is harmful. And it actually ultimately long-term gets in the way of my creativity. There can be little bursts where it works and I can get away with it, but it all comes crashing down eventually.

42:23You know, we need other people. Creative people need other people. The creative process is a solitary experience a lot of times, but that can't be the entirety of a creative person's life. And I will convince myself at times that it needs that needs to be my life. And it's not true. The next lie I tell myself is that I'm just going to post on Instagram really quick. No big deal. Just going to open up Instagram. Just going to open up the app. Just going to do a little posty posty. Just going to post really quick. Going to post something. And then right after I post it, I might read comments for a second.

42:56Heart some of my favorites, maybe respond to a few, you know, because that's really fun. And then I'm going to stick to my boundaries and I'm going to close the app and I'm going to put my phone down and I'm not going to scroll, scroll, scroll because I know myself and I know that that makes me feel anxious and not so good. And you know what I do in reality? I scroll, scroll, scroll. Next thing I know, I am on like Cheez-Its Instagram page. Next thing I know, I'm looking through Hailey Bieber's photo dump. This is just my life. This is just life. Next thing I know, I'm on my explore page watching reels.

43:32Next thing I know, it's been an hour. And I'm still watching reels. You know, it's, that is a lie I tell myself. And honestly, like, it's not that I never let myself scroll and like look through Hayley Bieber's photo dump and go on Cheez-It's Instagram and look at reels sometimes because I don't think it's like, I do think that it's important that I'm not completely out of the loop. Like, I definitely look sometimes. But I need to admit to myself that every time I open the app, I will be scrolling a little bit. Even if I think I'm just going to go post and then I'm going to put the phone down, that's not true.

44:07And so I should honestly go into every time I post, go into the app knowing I will be scrolling a little bit and I should set a timer because that's what I do when I just want to scroll randomly. And I really don't do that a lot, to be honest, but it does happen. Like maybe once a week, I'll be like, fuck it. Let's just see what's going on, maybe on the weekend, you know, but that's it. And that's not a lot. That's less than normal, I would say less than average. And I don't post on Instagram that often, you know, depending on what's going on, like during fashion week or something every day. Here's my outfit.

44:41Here's my outfit. Here's my outfit again, again, again, here's my outfit. But I'm like, when not much is going on in my life, I'm not posting on Instagram that often, you know, so it's like, whatever, but that is a lie. But you know what? The lie goes deeper, actually, because even when I set a timer and say like, I'm only going to let myself go on Instagram for 15 minutes, right? Half the time, that's a lie. Half the time, me setting that timer is a lie. Because half the time I'll be like, fuck it. Let me just look a little bit more. So it's so tough. Like I have good boundaries with it. But even I struggle, like I am so strict and so rigid and like so careful, but even I will fail.

45:20It's the hardest though, when there's some when I have to when I'm posting a lot. That's when it's the hardest, like during fashion week or during like the Met Gala or something like I'm posting so many different things. And also I want to look at what other people are posting. Like I want to see what other people are wearing to fashion week. I want to see what like behind the scenes stuff people are posting about the Met Gala. You know, I like love seeing what is going on during those times. I am so on my phone. It's almost like all my rules go out the window. I don't even care. I just let myself indulge in it.

45:54And then I pay the price and I feel anxious and I feel like shit. I lie to myself that every time I open a social media app, I'm going to have good boundaries and half the time it's a lie. But I work on it every day. I'm very aware of that lie I tell myself though. I'm very aware of it and I am actively working on it, but it's just, it's, we all know it's tough. Moving on. Another lie I tell myself is that everyone hates me. I tell this lie to myself more often than you would think, but I am aware of why I tell myself this lie so often and why it's so hard to deal with. I think it comes down to my career, which is on the internet.

46:36And I think being a public figure is a very weird thing because as we're all aware, public figures experience an unnatural amount of exposure to other human beings. And what does that lead to? An unnatural amount of opinions, which means an unnatural amount of negative opinions, okay? Public figures experience more hatred than somebody who's not a public figure. This is obvious, we all know this. but I think because it's such an unnatural thing, the human brain struggles to deal with it. No matter how good you are at being in the public eye, it's tough. And I think because I know, I don't even have to see it to know, okay?

47:26I don't even have to see what people are saying about me to know that at all times, people are saying mean things about me at all times. Somewhere on the internet, people are saying mean things about me. Somewhere in the real world, people are probably saying mean things about me because I'm exposed in a way that's unusual. So I know that at all times I'm being hated on. I know that. And I think that's such an unnatural experience that it's sometimes subconsciously convinces me that I'm just a hated person. And I thought I was the only one who experienced this, but I've actually met many other public figures who have the exact same experience where they just feel hated by society.

48:08They feel hated by humanity as a whole. It's a very common thing. I'm talking about beloved celebrities who like in the grand scheme of celebrity are so loved. And even there, like, I feel despised by humanity. When, from my perspective, I'm like, literally everyone loves you. Like, you're not widely hated. That makes no sense. But it's just, I guess, the way that the human brain reacts to that. And so I will convince myself often that everyone hates me. Like, I will just convince myself that I'm a hated person. Now, are there people that hate me? Of course. Are there people who think I'm stupid?

48:43Of course. Are there people who think I shouldn't have a job? Of course. Are there people who think I'm annoying? Of course. Are there people who think I'm evil? Of course. That's being on the internet, unfortunately. And that's the case for any public figure. There's not one public figure that is unanimously liked, right? But I'll let that seep into my psyche. And I will convince myself that everyone hates me. And what pulls me out of that is when I'm out and about, and someone comes up to me and says, Oh, my God, I listened to your podcast. Or, you know, I love watching your YouTube videos, whatever.

49:20And says, you know, it brings me joy, it brings me value, you. Like, I'm so grateful for it. Then I'm like, Emma, stop. See, look, not everyone hates you. Look, look, there are people who like you. Remember this, but it's so tough. It's so tough because even though in a comment section, there can be so many nice comments, the mean ones will really stick in a weird subconscious way. And it'll, it'll creep back in, in this weird lie that I tell myself that everyone hates me. It's very weird. And again, it's not even rooted in truth because like there's people in my life who love me. There's people in my comment section who love me, but it doesn't matter.

50:02For some reason, this creeps in. It's very weird and it is ultimately a lie. So I need to keep it in check. Another lie that I tell myself often is that I'm not jealous. Listen, I do get jealous sometimes. And I feel like I have a pretty good grasp on my jealousy. Like I have a good method of managing jealousy, but that doesn't mean that I don't get jealous. Like I've given advice on this podcast about how to handle feelings of jealousy. You know, I know how to handle it. Right. But that doesn't mean that those feelings are never going to come up. I think like nobody wants to feel jealous. And even worse, nobody wants to admit that they're jealous.

50:43It's just kind of a shameful feeling in a way. And so I sometimes have a hard time admitting to myself that I'm feeling jealous. Like it takes me time. Even though I feel like I'm good at managing it at this point in my life, I still will lie to myself when feelings of jealousy come up and I'll lie to myself for a little bit before I admit that I'm jealous. Like it takes me time, even though I'm aware of everything that's going on. It's very weird how the brain works. Another lie that I tell myself is that on a particular day, I haven't been productive enough today. I don't deserve to rest. I need to keep going.

51:21I haven't gotten enough done today. I do this all the time. This is a lie I tell myself all the time. This goes back to the workaholic-ness of me. And again, this might sound like I'm like, this is not a flex, by the way. This is not me being like, Oh my God, I'm just like so motivated. It's not that. Cause I actually think that at the end of the day, not even at the end of the day, but like at the end of a month, right? The way that I push myself and then burn out and then can't do anything and then push myself and then burn out and then can't do like at the end of the month, I probably get the same amount done as somebody who just takes it a bit slower and has a bit more balance.

52:05Do you know what I'm saying? Like being a workaholic, I don't think actually makes you get more done necessarily. Maybe, maybe, but I consider it to be a flaw is what I'm trying to say. The truth is some days are gonna be productive and some are not. And the type of person I am, whether I've been productive or not, I will almost always come to the conclusion that I haven't done enough. I am insatiable, insatiable. Is that a word? Whatever. I cannot be satisfied. I am rarely satisfied. And so I'm constantly telling myself the lie that I haven't done enough when it's like, you know what? If it's the end of the fucking day and there's no deadline that hasn't been met, I can be done.

52:47Do you know what I mean? I can be done. Oh, it's 9pm and there's nothing that has to be done. Okay, then I can be done. You see what I'm saying? That's why it's a lie. Because it's like, if it's the end of the day, I have to stop. Like there has to be a stopping point. But I lie to myself almost on a daily basis and say, there's still more to be done, which leads me to my next lie that I tell myself, which is I'm not tired and burnt out. I'm just a lazy sack of shit. I don't deserve rest. I'm just being lazy and making excuses. Again, this sounds like a flex of a lie that I tell myself, but it really is ultimately detrimental because this type of lie leads me to burnout, leads me to the point where I can't do anything and I'm very mentally weak.

53:33And I've talked about this trait that I have many times and I have gotten better over the years at not getting to this point, not succumbing to this lie, recognizing this lie. I've gotten better at it, but that doesn't mean that I don't still lie to myself about these things sometimes. I do. Okay. The next lie I tell myself, I can take on more responsibilities. When I think about my life and the plate, like, you know, the metaphor of like, what you have on your plate, I am really bad at properly analyzing my plate. And I constantly lie to myself about what I can put on my plate. I will look at my plate, my metaphorical plate, and there'll be one small little corner open where I could put something there.

54:19and technically that that portion of the plate is like for sleeping or hanging out with people that I care about but I'll be like that's an open space let me take on some more responsibilities and then I have a mental breakdown and then I have to take and then I have to take the plate and I have to scoop everything into the trash can and then I can't do anything again all of this stuff all this like work-related stuff sounds like a flex until you realize that it actually leads to a state where I can't do anything. And then I get nothing done for a little bit until I recharge my battery. And again, I'm getting better at all this stuff, but I'm including it on this list of lies that I tell myself because these are very prominent lies that I'm still figuring out how to manage.

55:07Another lie I tell myself is once I complete this goal, I'll finally feel a sense of accomplishment and I'll finally allow myself to just finish and complete and be done. You know, like the work can stop for a little bit and I'll just sit in this sense of accomplishment. No, I really struggle with that. Even when making this list, I'm talking about the list that we're talking about today for this podcast episode, the list of lies I tell myself. I told myself, once I come up with 10 lies that I tell myself, I will stop writing this podcast outline. I will feel accomplished. And then I will sit down and I will record the episode.

55:42Well, I hit 10 and then I decided that's not enough. I need to do 12. Came up with 12 and then said, 12 is not enough. I ended up coming up with 17 because I did not feel accomplished until I got to 17. Then I was like, okay, I feel good now. I am the type of person that just does not ever feel accomplishment. There's always something. If I'm seeking the feeling of accomplishment, I'll never reach accomplishment. I feel like that's kind of the conclusion I've come to with myself. I almost, I think I need to remove the emotion from it. Like, for example, in making this list of lies that I tell myself, instead of saying, once I get to 10, I'll feel accomplished.

56:22And then I can stop. I need to be like, once I reach 10, I'm not going to feel accomplished because that's the type of person I am. But I'm going to be done. And that's it. Because it is a lie to think that I'll feel accomplished. I mean, I think there are ways to feel accomplished, even when you're not the type of person who naturally feels accomplished. And I've talked about that before. But I think it's not always realistic. And I think I need to know myself a little bit better. The next lie I tell myself constantly is that I'm dying, like in the moment that I'm dying. For example, for the last few weeks, I've had a cough.

57:00And I have convinced myself on a daily basis that my lungs are collapsing and that I'm having shortness of breath and that I'm dying. And every time I take my oxygen, my oxygen levels are perfect. I am not dying. When I'm on an airplane, I convince myself that the plane will crash soon and I'm dying. When I'm at a restaurant, sometimes I'll convince myself that I've gotten food poisoning or I've been poisoned or I'm, or I've developed an allergic reaction that I've never had before and my throat's closing up and that I'm dying. I convince myself that I'm dying multiple times a day and I'm not.

57:42What my parents always remind me is that number one, humans are very resilient. Not, that's not to say that like, listen, we're not immortal, but we're shockingly resilient, like more than we think we are, you know? And if I'm able to talk, you know what I'm saying? Like if I'm able to walk and talk and move, I'm not dying. Do you know what I'm saying? I don't know. I'm just, I'm ridiculous, but I'm, this is how my brain works. I'm very anxious and I'm a mess. And the last lie that I tell myself, I mean, there's definitely more, but this is the last one that I can think of is that I'm genuinely having a bad gut feeling, like something bad's gonna happen out of nowhere not just like something minor but like something major like somebody's about to die or something's about to explode or like something intense something extreme i'll convince myself that i'm genuinely having a gut feeling about something tragic happening and i'm not just anxious and paranoid no i'm genuinely having a premonition no i'm not no i'm not i just had an intrusive thought about something scary happening and And then I convinced myself that that intrusive thought is a premonition, is my intuition.

58:55When everything I've read up about intuition is that it's far more subtle. It's like when I get a bad gut feeling about a person. It's so, this is again, it goes back to like how certain psychological challenges make no sense. It makes the brain fight against each other. It makes the brain hypocritical almost. Like I lie to myself and say, wait, I think this person's cool. I really want to like them. when deep down I get a bad gut feeling about them because I don't want to feel that bad gut feeling. I'm avoiding it. I'm avoiding that bad gut feeling that actually should be listened to. But it's easy to ignore because it's not about anything too serious and I can't necessarily figure out exactly what it means.

59:38It's more vague. It's more soft. It's a whisper, right? And I actively will ignore that gut feeling. But then when I have a scary thought, as my mom calls it, When I have an intrusive thought that's really scary and disturbing to me, I will obsess over it and convince myself that it's a premonition and that it's going to happen. When in reality, everything I know about intuitive feelings is that it is much more subtle, much more abstract and much less intense. It's not like this is about to happen and it's about to be really scary and bad. It's like more like a almost like a spiritual guide inclining you to do something or not do something.

1:00:18But what's kind of hypocritical about it is that I know that a subtle little soft gut feeling is one to pay attention to because that's what intuition is. And yet I ignore that one. But then when I get some sort of loud, intrusive thought, I'll convince myself that that's intuition when I know that that's not. The brain is so complicated. And I feel like mine especially is complicated, but it's not. Everybody's is complicated. but I feel like mine sucks sometimes. I'm like, why are you like this? Nothing even makes sense. Like half the time shit doesn't even make sense that's going on in there.

1:00:56But that's enough of my brain for the day, to be honest. Like I think we all need a break from Emma's brain for the rest of the day. So I'm gonna stop talking now. I'm gonna spend the rest of my day doing things that are mindless because it's the evening time and I think I've earned it. I encourage you all to face the lies that you tell yourself head on. It's an ongoing practice, I think, that you'll never perfect necessarily, but it's a practice that I think is worth starting to practice as soon as possible. And with that, I thank you all for listening. And if you enjoyed this episode, new episodes of Anything Goes every Thursday and Sunday, you can tune in and hang out twice a week if you want, or not, and that's fine too.

1:01:37Anything Goes is everywhere you stream podcasts, but if you wanna watch video, that's only on YouTube and Spotify. Anything Goes is on social media at Anything Goes. I'm on the internet at Emma Chamberlain and my coffee company is in the world and on the internet at Chamberlain coffee I love you all. I appreciate you all. I have a chin hair that I need to pluck It's like really bothering me. So I like really need to do that now. So I really need to wrap this up I love you all. I appreciate you all. Thank you for listening and hanging out. It's always a pleasure And next time I see you my chin hair will be plucked out.

1:02:08Hopefully you didn't notice it But now that I brought it up You're gonna probably like go back a little bit and zoom in and try to find it So I've really sort of screwed myself over there. Okay. I have to stop recording. Like I have to stop. We have to be done. Bye. I love you.