Diane von Furstenberg: How to Become the Woman You Want to Be

28:19You know, I love a wrap dress. I wear them all the time. I have like a vintage collection of them. Olivia from my office is wearing her mom Karen's wrap dress. Why do you think it continues to resonate with every generation? The other day, I was in Venice. We were having the DVF awards and all the five awardees, remarkable women, age different, race different and everything. And actually by accident, they were all wearing wraps. And that's when I understood for the first time that it's about it. Okay. It's about being in Jersey at the top and it's about the attitude. It's so interesting to me that something can last for this long, this season of your life, you've decided that you want to re-energize the company.

29:14Is that about the fact that it carries your name or is there something in you that wants the business? No, I want to put, right now it's inventory time, right? Everything is inventory. The brand, my voice over the years, I spoke a lot. I have done what we're doing now since I am 22. If you go on YouTube, you can watch me saying the same thing over and over at 25, 35, 45, 55, 75. And, you know, it's a little, so actually, I think that for whatever reason, what I said has inspired a lot of women. So it would be nice to be able to encapsulate that in a way so that it doesn't go to ways. You know, what is legacy?

30:14I mean, it's a huge, big pretentious word, but it is the people you touch, the children you have, and your body of work. I want to talk to you about something that I talk about a lot on this show, and it's money. And I wonder if your relationship with money has changed over the years and how you ever thought about your brand, your independence, and actually money. I don't really think very much about money at all. I wanted to be independent, which means being able to pay my bills, buy a house, you know, security like that, but money per se. And then, um, I hate to look at numbers. I don't look at numbers.

30:58I'm a bad, as far as that, I'm not a good executive. Why? Why are you saying? I'm holding onto my seat because all I want everyone to do is look at the numbers. Oh my God. But it's good to know you're not good at it. I'm sorry. I don't belong in this show. Well, as long as you know somebody else has to look after them, then you're still in. But maybe that may be my fault, is that I don't look at numbers. Do you consider it a weakness or is it just something that you don't, like, is there a fear associated with looking at the numbers or is it like, I'm not good at this? I just don't, I mean, I like to be able to afford what I would like to afford.

31:37I am absolutely not interested in piling money. I'm a very bad person to talk about money. I mean, I'm not completely idiotic. Well, clearly not. And also, you know, with respect, you have a lot of money. So maybe you've not had to think about it in that way. No, no, no. I mean, you know, yeah, I don't want not to be respectful. But as long as I can make it happen. Yeah. Well, I think that you spoke a lot about independence and I do think that independence has been, your association with money is linked to your independence and that's how you've thought about it through your home life. I mean, I always find ways to make money.

32:19It's a great way to think about things. Because you've been quite vocal about mistakes that you've made over the years, is there any mistake that actually costs you the most? Yes, but you learn from your mistake. You learn more from your mistake than not mistake. And you really only regret the things you don't do. Listen, if you don't lie, you did what you did thinking it was right. I don't really look at the negative things like that. That's a superpower, don't you think? I don't know. I mean, that's just the way I am. Well, it can be crippling. I feel like we talk so much about mindset and you have such an unbelievably strong mindset.

33:02Like you're very clear. But it takes so long. I mean, now I happen to have a lot of clarity because I swam 75 hours over the summer. And when I swim, I meditate. So, you know, you have to spend time with yourself in order to find clarity. I just want to stop you for a second because even when you say that, people will think, oh my God, she's making an exaggeration. No, you actually swam 75 hours every single summer in the ocean for hours a day in a full wetsuit, swimming and swimming and swimming. And this is part of your meditation? No, it's, I like to swim, first of all, because you're alone.

33:48And you're alone in the sea. And I'm lucky because I go on boats, so I swim, you know, when there's no one and I can swim for a long time. I don't swim like an Olympic thing. I swim like an old lady, but I can swim. I swim somewhere between an hour and a half and two hours every day. For how long have you done that? Oh, I don't know, but years now. Do you think that that is like an essential part of your... Well, yeah, but I do the same walking, you know. 31 years ago, I had a cancer and I met Deepak Chopra. He taught me how to meditate. And then he gave me words, sutras, and I use those. And I have my own little way of doing it because it's very hard to swim for so long unless you have a itinerary.

34:42So I have words and then they take me somewhere for five minutes. So, and then, I don't know. I mean, listen. It's amazing. The most important thing is the relationship with yourself. So I have all kinds of tricks and all kinds of whatever. But I love the tricks. I feel like that's what we want to know. Like I always think like in the morning when I make my, I have like a protein coffee, but I take it very seriously. Like the cup that I use and the temperature of the water Is there anything that you don't take seriously? I'm a serious girl. Exactly. You know, but to me, it's like my moment alone.

35:15You know, but you pay attention to the ceremony of life. You pay attention to every single thing you do because you've taken yourself in charge. And you own it, you know, and you have a sexy, hot husband and he's smart and he's good and he's wealthy and you have healthy, wonderful children. and, you know, and you wanted to do what you're doing now and you're making it happen. Do you remember when we were talking about this, Diane? Yeah, it was, I think you were the first person that I spoke to about it and you gave me the necklace when we were in your home. I have the necklace with diamonds. My daughter has one as well.

35:55And I thought about that like for so long. Well, tell them what it says. It says in charge, which is your, you have it on? Yes. A, it was such a beautiful thing for you to give me, But we should talk a little bit about what in charge means to you. To be in charge is first and foremost owning who you are, owning your imperfection. If you own them, they become your asset. If you own your vulnerability, it turns it into strength. That's it. But you have to accept who you are and then you get to like what you love. And the complicity with yourself. I asked my husband the other day, do you actually speak to yourself with words?

36:39And he said, what do you mean? No, when I think, do you speak to yourself? All the time, sometimes out loud. Exactly. But it's funny because I actually remember asking Jens years ago, I said, do you speak to yourself in Swedish or in English? He's like, what are you talking about? That's funny. I speak to myself all the time. But it was quite incredible. and again that we both yeah but that line that you say the most important relationship you'll ever have is the relationship that you have with yourself it evolves and it changes it moves throughout your life and i'm interested in understanding a bit about you with your family and your children because obviously you were you were living this like i mean anyone who like google's photos of you will see you have really lived diane like you've had a big full juicy colorful, colorful life you've been out and about.

37:34And then, you know, you've had two children, you had this huge career. I'm going to say icon. And I know you were like, but you are an icon to so many. And within all of that, love and motherhood and family life is obviously a huge part of it. And yet you've still carved out this very important relationship with yourself. So will you just talk about that part of your life a little bit? Because I feel like With my children? Yeah, I would love you to talk about your children and your family. Okay, so if you talk to my children, I was never there. How does it make you feel when you say that? Be ready.

38:10Be ready. I'm fucking ready. But if I look at the results, God bless them. They're wonderful. And now they are fully grown up parents of adults, and we speak every single day. Do you have regrets about that, Diane? Do you have regrets at the time you're away? No, the only thing I have regrets is that my daughter had a health condition that I didn't realize. That's my only regret in life. Because you were too busy to realize? No, no, but she was also hiding it. But I mean, that was... She's very strong and she manages and she's a great mother and her daughter is a superstar with super power. Do you feel like you were a good mother?

38:56Actually, I do. I think. No, I am a good mom. I mean, yes. Would you have changed anything? Like when your kids say to you, you were never there, is that something that you find hard to take or is that just a consequence of a choice that you made? I think I was more there than they think and I would never abandon them like, you know, in myself. No, I'm very proud of who they are. Very. And the parents, they are. So Diane, tell me what you think about when you see parents, parenting now, and women now tear themselves apart. Or, you know, if you think about, for example, when I wrote my book, I spoke about, you know, I said, I'm a three hour mom and the world went fucking mental.

39:41I know, I know. So what is your advice? Okay, first of all, I think the helicopter parents are crazy. And you see the result. You have to make your children independent. You give them love and you make them in values and you make them independent. Nothing is more important than making your children independent. Nothing. And they have responsibility for themselves. Oh, be careful. No. If you do that, what's the consequence? You may fall. You may this. You may that. But I mean, I was lucky also. I have wonderful, wonderful children. I had a mother. Grandmothers are very important. Did you ever have mom guilt?

40:22What? Did you ever have mum guilt? Guilt is not an option. Guilt and fear. Diane's made of something else. You're made of like steel from another time. You never had mum guilt. Guilt is not a, no, not really. I mean, afterwards, yes, for my daughter, for her health. Yes, that I understand. That is for sure. But you never had guilt about going to work and leaving your children. You never had guilt about traveling because again, I do, this show is specifically made for women. No, but I mean, I was so young that these things, the children happen and I did the best I could. They came with me. I mean, I went to business trips in Japan.

41:07I took them along. I, you know, while I was doing business, they had a guide, they would visit the city. I did the best I could. And, but guilt, no. What is your message to women listening that find themselves crippled by guilt? Talk to your children. Explain. You go to school, I go to work. And then you have conversation. What did you do? What did you learn? Make them grow. I talk to my children as if they were grown up from day one. My mother did that to me. And my mother was tough. I mean, she locked me in a closet. You know, she did a lot of other things. and I turned out good. Do you understand it?

41:49Do you even understand like, again, like where we are in society now and the way, because listen, you have been somebody who's been a fierce feminist your entire life. And in some ways, I think that it's far harder right now in 2026 to speak in the way that you do than it was 50 years ago. So what does that say about progress for women? First of all, I don't judge. And my advice right now to women, okay, you're going to like this. Women always have solution, right? The most submissive woman anywhere, there's a fire in the house. She gets it together. She takes the children, the jewelry. Sometimes she takes the jewelry before the children and up she goes, right?

42:36Women have the solution. So I try to promote seduction. and seduction is not about showing your legs, even though today we're a very bad example of it. It's about getting what you want, making other people believe it's their idea. That's what seduction is. It really is. And that's the power of women. Having said that, I deplore, I mean, I mean, what is happening? I mean, in Afghanistan, I, please, no, I am on the board of vital voices. I really fight for women's rights. I take it extremely seriously. All of that. Very much so. And I deplore this wave of machism that is happening and that everything is a bullet.

43:31They make weapons and everything is a bullet. Everything is about erection. So that's what we are living now. but us women we should be smart about it not confronted everything is confront you know even the sport win or lose life is not about win and lose there's very many variety of gray between black and white

44:03premature hair aging can show up earlier than people expect stress chemical services sun and pollution take a toll on the scalp and it shows up as sudden shedding early graze and scalp aging that is the focus of k18 future iq longevity hair serum k18 is a biotech powered hair care brand and Future IQ is powered by their proprietary multi-vital technology. It's the first synergistic multi-pathway system for premature hair aging. It's designed to be used as a one step in your nighttime routine. You apply it for droppers, massage it evenly into the scalp and don't rinse. With consistent nightly use, Future IQ starts reversing hair age in three months to reduce shedding, graying, and scalp aging.

44:49It's clinically proven to deliver up to 19 ,000 more hairs, fewer grays, and an improved scalp barrier. And to put 19 ,000 hairs in perspective, that's roughly the equivalent of doubling your ponytail. Get hair science that sees you. Start reversing hair age in three months to reduce shedding, graying, and scalp aging. Shop at Sephora or get 10 % off your first purchase at k18hair.com with code Aspire. That's code Aspire at k18hair.com. Cozy season is upon us. That means chilly sunrises, slow afternoons on the couch, and oversized sweaters. Bombas makes your comfiest fall staples, so you can make the most out of one of the best seasons of the year.

45:34Whether you're heading out or staying in, Bombas has you covered. Their new suede moccasins are perfect for fall, with cushy soles and water-resistant suede. And when you need extra support, I immediately reach for their compression sock collection. They're a total game-changer for travel days or long hours on my feet. Fall weather can be fickle, but Bombas make socks that handle it all, from warm merino wool blends to sweat-wicking sports socks for race training. Plus, their underwear and tees are buttery, breathable, and fit just right. It really is the comfiest first layer you can find. And the best part?

46:11For every item you purchase, Bombas donates an essential clothing item to someone facing housing insecurity. One purchased equals one donated, with over 200 million donations and counting. Head over to bombas.com slash audio and use code audio for 20 % off your first purchase. That's B-O-M-B-A-S dot com slash audio, code audio at checkout. A lot has changed since Bob's Discount Furniture opened its first store 35 years ago. Car phones have become cell phones, grunge band hits have become oldies, and you can order furniture online. But what hasn't changed is the way they do business, aka the Bob's way.

46:52Doing things the Bob's way means that when I shop at Bob's, I know I'll find the latest top-rated styles like the Aspen sofa for just$3.99, bedrooms with great features like storage and charging, consumer reports recommended mattresses, and real marble dining sets, all at 90s-era prices, with financing to fit any budget and lightning-fast shipping. Plus, Bob's still makes furniture shopping fun, with friendly associates and cafes full of free treats and ice cream. Want to see for yourself? Stop into your local Bob's store or shop mybobs.com to celebrate 35 years of the best values in the furniture biz.

47:31Only at Bob's Discount Furniture.

47:39You spoke a little bit about like no judgment. And I feel like where we are is that there's so much judgment specifically between women. Do you think that that's changed a little bit? What? Women judging one another. Oh really? Well, I don't really think that any men cared about some of my comments earlier this year, but I do think that it was hard for a lot of women to swallow. Don't think about that. You know, if you got a lot of, you know, what'd you say? A bit of backlash, a little chit chat. If we get a lot of backlash, you should think about it and you should think about it. And maybe it was the delivery.

48:19I wouldn't go angry. Every backlash, Every criticism is useful. Yeah, I think so too. Put oil in the spinach. Yeah. It's such a good one. Let's talk about your relationship. You and Barry were together. You were then apart for decades and then you found your way back together. So what would you actually tell a young woman about choosing a partner? I mean, you don't choose a partner. It happens. You meet somebody, you know. I've never chosen a partner, ever. I've had many partners and I've had two husbands. And I love them all, you know, because you've had intimacy with them and therefore you've shared something special and unique.

49:03Clearly, the ones I love most at the end are the ones I married. But Barry, I mean, you know, we fell in love 52 years ago very intensely together. And then I felt like I had to go. That's why I was saying my life has been also about fulfilling my fantasy. I don't know. I mean, you know, there is no book to follow. Everyone designed their life according to, I mean, you can't say you designed your life. People can't even survive. I know about survival. I mean, my mother was nothing. She was nothing. She was ashes. There are things that happen and you deal with them and then you go on. I have no advice or anything about choosing a partner except being honest.

50:00Being honest and being kind. It comes back down to your life principles. It's the same sort of everywhere in your life. Yeah, I mean, you know, you didn't choose your partner. I feel like I chose him. Well, you choose very well. I mean, you chose to go back to Barry. No, I didn't choose it. You chose it? It's so interesting to me because again, like again, from the outside, it feels like that. We always knew eventually we would get married. You did? Yes. And so one day it was his birthday. It was going to be his birthday Friday, next Friday. And I was giving Aquarius because him and both my children are Aquarius.

50:43And I was giving an Aquarius party. And so I said, you know, Barry, if you want, I'll marry you for your birthday. And he said, let me see if I can arrange it. And he called City Hall and he arranged it. That's pretty romantic. Yeah, but everything is romantic. Everything in your life, Diane, might be romantic. No, in any one. It's just give, pay attention to the moment and enjoy the moment. And enjoy also the difficulty. You know, I want to give an advice. when you go through a really, really difficult moment, try to detach yourself a little bit and watch it and do it like it was a documentary.

51:23Because then maybe you get less emotional about certain things. Yeah. I want to talk to you somewhat just about legacy because one of the most impressive things that you do, and you do a lot of impressive things, but the DVF Awards is something that moves me every single time. I see it. I know. But it feels to me that that's something that's so like intrinsic to who you are and your legacy and what you stand for. Also, my mother, because the DVF Award is giving money and visibility to women, exceptional women, who have had the courage to fight, the strength to survive, and the leadership to inspire.

52:12And that is really my mother. You know, it's honor my mother, but it was really Alex, my son's idea. He said, you know, you do all these things for women. Let's do an award and blah, blah, blah. That's how it happened. And it's wonderful because you, I mean, I really, really, really care about paying attention and giving light and visibility to these incredible women who do incredible things. And right now the world is really difficult and depressing. and so, you know, I can't, you must, each of us must think about being kind, being good and looking for the light. You look for the light, you bring in the light, you grow the light, you cherish the light and you share the light.

53:05Because no matter what, every morning, the sun pushes the darkness away. And there is a kind of magic to that, to living that way. Diane, we've mentioned it a couple of times, but you do turn 80 this year. Yes. What's the conversation Diane is having with herself as she approaches 80? I started in January 1st that I was going to, that's goal, that I was entering the winter of my life. But I'm also very visual, you know? So my new stage is Venice. It's about doing inventory, as I tell you, is the inventory so that everything you leave behind, because I don't know how long, nobody knows how long they'll leave.

53:45But obviously when you enter the winter of your life, you have less time. Of course, tomorrow morning I can break my leg and goodbye. But it's very exciting actually. And I have a lot of my friends who are also the age, a lot of them have died. The good thing with age is that you have the past. So I have a past. and it's about putting things in order and it's fun. If I manage to live a few years, you know, if I'm there saying that I managed to live another 10 years, it could be my best decade and I've had some pretty good ones. When you look back, what do you wish you'd worried less about? No, not really.

54:33I mean, first of all, I don't look back except for the, you know, the good things. And you only regret the things you don't do. Yeah. If you make mistakes, you pay for them. So you, you know, you have had the consequence. That's it. You're very pretty. You know, you're very pretty. So are you, Diane? No. Yes. I mean, that's ridiculous thing to say. You have cheekbones up to your fucking, it's crazy. It's crazy. Every time I sit with you, Like, I think that you're kind of like a hypnotic woman. You know, you have a special way of sitting where you intertwine your legs and you're always like this.

55:11And I think, God, you've got to be really confident to sit like that. Diane, when you think about your legacy now, what actually matters beyond the dress, beyond the company, beyond everything? The most important things is my family, my grandchildren, my children. That is by far number one. Number one, for sure. They definitely have priority in my prayers. They have priority in everything. Whether physically, when they were growing up, I was there, I was there, but I was always there. And they turned out good and they have good values. They know about being kind. That is really the most important thing.

55:54Second of all, it would be nice to package the things I have learned so that other people can benefit from it. And then there is something that was the brand that is somehow, because it's made of fabric, probably the flag of my life. Right. A flag of freedom, you know, so the flag of my was a dress. so you know I want I would like to put it in the best hands I can and then we'll see a lot of it may just end up you know once it's all nice and clean a lot of it may end up in in the foundation so that it benefits other people that makes so much sense to me you're turning 80 this year so do you know already what your three words are oh no next year I never know the words for the following year until I open my diary.

56:52And then, and then it comes. Like you feel like it comes to you? Yeah. Words come to you. I love words. Words are magic. Words are important. My mother used to say, pay attention to the words. And it's so valuable. Now I'm writing a book and again, I'm enhancing words. Words are very important. If you can focus on the words, it's magic. What do you still aspire to be or to become? I have to say that aging, I enjoy more and more being me. I have to say that. And that's why I'm not afraid of death. So I, yeah, I, yes, and that's why you shouldn't lie. I mean, I discovered this lying thing recently because New York Times had asked me to, if I would write for New Year's, something about superstition.

57:54I said, oh, I give it a try. So just three paragraphs. So I wrote, you know, obviously as I'm European, you know, we don't go under a ladder or break a mirror, hat on the bed, stupid things like that. And then there's the superstition that I do with myself. Like if I push on the elevator, if that elevator will come, it'll be a good day. Stupid things like that. But then I said, no, I have to think a little, something a little deeper. And thinking about it, I realized, oh, I didn't realize, but I always thought that lying is bad luck. And I said, have I really never lied? And I've really went into it.

58:37and it's not that I didn't lie because I was caught in a bad lie when I was a little girl or because my mother told me not to lie because she would lie about her age, but I always thought that lying is bad luck and that actually protected me. Oh, shit. Yeah, it'll protect you. When I first met you, you told me the most sweet and magical story about how you see yourself and finding something to see yourself. And it was a story about the plant. And I would just love you to tell that story. If you could find something physically that reflects your soul. Somebody asked me that and I never thought about it.

59:20Then I went on a walk in the country and it was the month of March. Everything was dead, you know. And then I saw this green, green stick, I mean, coming, plant and with a little curly head. And it's what they call a twindle. It's a fern. And I thought, oh, this is me. I came out, I was born out of the ashes, bright green stick that appeared out of nowhere with a little curly head. And then the little curl unwinds And it becomes a fern, the biggest fern with endless opportunity. It's pretty amazing. But I'm not describing it well. You're describing it beautifully well. I remember when you told me the story and I was like, oh.

1:00:14I was very much into it. I forgot about it. It was a good one though, because it just, it struck me that we should all like have. It's good that you reminded me. Something for ourselves. Yeah, yeah. Put it, put it in the book. So much to put in the book. Okay. Now we only have rapid fire. So it's like, what's the first thing you do in the morning? Take my probiotics. We're all about to run out and buy probiotics immediately. What's the best advice you've ever been given? Fear is not an option by my mother. What's something that you'll never apologize for? I don't know. I don't know what I could apologize for.

1:00:51What do you mean? I don't think you're like an apologetic woman. No, I mean, if I do something wrong, I will say I'm sorry. I will apologize. Anything in your own behavior that you're just like, I won't apologize for being like that? For being me? Why wouldn't I apologize for being me? You absolutely shouldn't. What's the one thing that every woman should spend her own money on? A woman should try to have her own money that she can buy everything she wants to buy. Last question. Is there a book that changed your life? My favorite book is, I don't know, it's called The Little Prince. The Petit Prince it's a child's book but it has everything Diane thank you so much you're the best you're so good I'm so happy you're here

1:01:40if you're loving this podcast be sure to click follow on your favourite listening platform while you're there give us a review and a five star rating and share an episode you loved with a friend we'll be so grateful A Spy With Emma Greed is presented by Odyssey I'm your host, Emma Greed. Our executive producers are Ashley McShan, Derek Brown, and me. Executive producers from Odyssey are Asha Saluja and Leah Reese-Dennis. Producer, KK Sublime. Stephen Key is our senior producer. Sound design and engineering by Bill Shultz. Angela Peluso is our booker. Original music by Charles Black. Video production by Phil Sweetek and Carlos Delgado.

1:02:20Social media by Olivia Homan, Catherine Bale. Special thanks to Brittany Smith, Sydney Ford, my teams at The Lead Company and WME. Josephina Francis, Hilary Schuff, Eric Donnelly, Kate Hutchinson-Rose, Tim Meikle, Evan Cox, Kurt Courtney, Andrew Steele, Sean Cherry and Lauren Vieira. If you have questions for me, you can DM me at Aspire with Emma Greed. Greed is spelled G-R-E-D-E. That's Aspire, A-S-P-I-R-E with Emma Greed. Or you can submit a question to me on my website, emagreed.me.

1:02:59I'm attorney Kevin Rowe. A car wreck can turn your entire life upside down. And when that happens, make one call. That's all to Learn Rowe. Our local legal team is ready to go to work for you. Working hard to get you the money you deserve. We'll handle the legal process so you can focus on what matters most. Your recovery. From start to finish, we're here for you. Call Lerner and Row today. Lerner and Row are the lawyers for you. Call 222-2222. Jonathan Faust, Managing Attorney, 114 East, Sir Max, Chicago.