The secrets of the Spectator summer party

0:00Tim Shipman: Hey, I'm running out to drop off a stack of letters and packages. Need anything shipped while I'm gone?

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0:35Noa Hoffman: Hello and welcome to Coffeehouse Shots. I'm Noah Hoffman and I'm delighted to be joined for now by James Heal, who is going to take us through today's PMQs, one of Sir Keir Starmer's last. James, what were the highlights?

0:50Tim Shipman: Well, there'll be very few of them, to be honest. I think my personal highlight was the Prime Minister going after Dave Dugan from the SNP who popped up to offer us some advice on defence spending And Keir Starmer, I'm sure you can still administer a bit of a magisterial slapdown by talking about the fact that obviously Peter Murrell's been jailed and we don't have any more sort of sanctimonious nonsense from the SNP, which I saw even Tory MPs were nodding along to. But really, no, there were two key themes from today's session. The first, of course, was defence. Even the SNP asking about that, the Lib Dems, the Conservatives, and everyone saying that the 15 billion promise yesterday is insufficient.

1:22Tim Shipman: You could just basically quote all the experts on this, people like Sir Richard Barron, who wrote Keir Starmer's own defence review. But I think that the sadder thing is that it's not just a failing of Keir Starmer. He had good comebacks to Ed Davey, pointing out he was in cabinet, pointing out the S &P wants to take away nuclear deterrent, pointing out the Conservatives cut defence spending for 14 years. And really, this is a failure of cross-party work about the British state unable to meet the challenges today. So I think that's the more sort of slightly depressing lesson from today's PMQs.

1:48Tim Shipman: But overall, KM could not give a good performance. And the second point I'd make as well, Noah, is that authority forgets a dying king. Really, you saw the Labour benches pretty empty. You saw lots of mentions of the honourable member for Makerfield, which of course is Andy Burnham. And it does all seem that the transition is really gearing up. Keir Starmer's there almost demop happy and he talked about one of his answers on defence saying, any Labour prime minister would be happy to stand behind this. And you could think if you're Andy Burnham thinking, cheers Keir, really appreciate that. Stiffing me with a sort of 4.7 billion black hole has been reported, which he's going to have to come up with filling.

2:20Tim Shipman: So overall, I think it was more of what we've seen before. Keir Starmer's legacy summed up in the defence investment plan, lacking in fiscal credibility, deeply suspected on popular many on his own ventures.

2:29Noa Hoffman: Now, it won't come as a shock to many people that PMQs is perhaps not the main focus of the day. There is an England World Cup game coming up. But alongside the match, today is particularly iconic in the Spectator calendar because it is the Spectator's annual summer party tonight. It is the most sought after ticket in the social calendar in Westminster. And we thought it would be a bit of fun to get the celebration started early. Pop open a bottle of champagne. Paul Roger, specifically.

3:08Tim Shipman: I feel like Lee Harvey Oswald and Kennedy. That almost took my eye out.

3:11Noa Hoffman: The cork almost took James's eye out. Unfortunately, there's limited space at this party. So what we thought we would do is take through listeners who haven't managed to secure an invite this year. There's always next year. Into the space via audio and just sort of go through a kind of history of the party, what it's all about and why it is so important. And for this segment, Freddie Gray has joined us. He is a veteran of the Spectator Summer Party, having attended no less than 15 of them. Very polite way of pointing out that I'm just quite old. Old or seasoned. The liver has been through a fair amount of damage over the years at the Spectator Party.

4:02Noa Hoffman: Well, on that fantastic note, Freddie, can you take us through what the party is all about and why it's so important and why so many people are desperate to get their hands on a ticket? Well, I think the Spectator Party, I don't know about the real origins, but I know it became kind of well known in the Boris era when we were in Doughty Street, before my time. And I think before then, too, it was a popular summer party. I remember when I was little, my father, who occasionally worked for The Spectator, coming back and saying to me, there was an awful lot of cocktail eyes at the party tonight. And I've learned what cocktail eyes means, which means it's when someone's looking around for someone more important than you to talk to.

4:46And I think there's still occasionally you glimpse some cocktail eyes at The Spectator party every year. It's a lot of very ambitious people like to come. A lot of very ambitious people try to get into the party, and every spectator staff member is familiar with the experience, I think, by now, of on the day of the party, you get frantic texts from people you haven't heard of in years. Sometimes they offer to take you out for lunch, but you know what's coming. Yes, it is very in demand as a party, and it's always good fun. And you tend to get the messages, which seem to have fallen off the list.

5:17Yes, I hate that. That's such a cringe one. No, I actually threw you off. No, I always say I have no power. It's all with our brilliant events team.

5:26Tim Shipman: You need to talk to them, etc, etc. The Berlin Wall, yes. I think the Cocktail Eyes one is going to be particularly apposited to this year's event because you're going to see the transition of power, lots of jockeying for jobs, with Andy Burnham coming in in place of the outgoing Stommer regime. and it brings to mind there's a wonderful quote about David Miliband who may well become the new foreign secretary which is that he could be in a room do that cocktail eyes with uh he could be in a room with I think it was the Pope Nelson Mandela and Mahatma Gandhi and looking over their shoulder to see who was more important in the room yeah uh and there's a lot of that at these kind of parties yes yes and the other memory I always have of the spectator summer party is Jeremy Clark the great Jeremy Clark, who died three years ago, our low-life columnist.

6:09And he used to love coming. He'd always come early to the party, and he'd text me and he'd say, I'm in the two chairmen, let's have a Leibner. And a Leibner with Jeremy usually meant five or six pints. And I think what's great about Jeremy is he just had no pomposity to him at all. So he would just enjoy the kind of spectacle of the party. He'd enjoy seeing all the politicians. But what is fun about the party, and why I think people like it so much, is that it isn't pompous. It's, you know, Westminster crowd just trying to enjoy themselves and mixing with journalists who are pretty good at enjoying themselves overall.

6:47Tim Shipman: And there's some nice elements. I mean, normally Grayson Perry comes, and I think Nigel Havers last year as well. There's a sort of, because, you know, Spectator is not, I think, just a political magazine. It's much more social magazine doing politics and we have wonderful arts coverage. And I think that that very much is reflecting the guest list and you see all these kind of maybe slightly stiff Westminster types in suits talking to some of our more, I don't know, bohemian colleagues, perhaps like Eagle from the Arts Editor, etc., which can always lead to some fun mix-ups. And I'm pretty sure politicians get asked questions at the Spectator Party.

7:16They don't get asked normally. Who are you? Yeah, exactly. So this is my... Do you work at the Spectator?

7:26Tim Shipman: No, I'm Prime Minister. Can you pass the Paul Roger? This is my... We have asked the Prime Minister, but I think sadly he's tied up. Andy Burnham, meanwhile, thinks it's not a great look, given he's going to be taxing all of us far too soon. No, we'll have a spectator party in the north just for him. Oh, very good idea. But this is one of my fifth ones. I think they each say something about the state of politics at the time. I remember 2021, it was the day that Boris and Rishi tested for COVID, so they couldn't come. Oh, God. So it was all that sort of affected by the event. And it was quite interesting because a lot of people hadn't drunk much during COVID.

7:53Tim Shipman: And it was a whole spectrum of being... Some people were absolutely destroyed by 7.30 that evening, I think, and were just standing around the garden, and not used to close contact with 300 people or so. 2022 was the most infamous one. It was Dave Boris resigned, our former editor. Sadly, our former editor couldn't join us that evening, but we had a bit of an incident involving one of our now current editors, Spads, with one of the Johnson team. Surrounded by all the political editors in the garden, almost going at it together. I remember that one. That was a very strange one because the various tribes were hiving off, plotting.

8:26There was a lot of plotting going on.

8:27Tim Shipman: And Nadim Zahawi sort of swanning and Liz Trassel jockeying. Yes, Nadim Zahawi. Remember him. 2023 was obviously the trust sites were then out of power. So Liz was very much doing the rounds at that, I think. And then 2024 was just the new election. So we held it a week after the election. It was the Monday, which was, what, three days after the results had all come in. So you saw the Labour lot looking very proud and pleased themselves. And then last year we had Summer of Reform. And they were very much on one of the balconies sort of looking down on us all, etc. et cetera, going up to the Labour lot, being like, we're going to take your job soon, et cetera.

9:03Tim Shipman: So it's an interesting kind of temperature check sometimes for where power is perceived to be going.

9:07Noa Hoffman: And it's worth also pointing out that it's not a right-wing event by any means. We have loads of Labour MPs who come. I say that as if I've been before. I actually, in a sign of hope to all those who, like me, have in their past tragically sent a last-minute beggy text message seeking an invite and subsequently being rejected, you can eventually secure an invite. Just come and work for us. If you come and work at The Spectator.

9:36Tim Shipman: Five years of indentured servitude, it pays off.

9:38Noa Hoffman: Or perhaps if you become an MP, a special advisor, hope for everyone. So yes, there are lots of left-wing MPs as well. But I was going to say, James, do you have a particular memory that stands out as one of the funniest moments of the past five parties you've been to?

9:56Tim Shipman: A single moment. I do remember several Labour MPs last year who I think recently voted to ban smoking for the children born after 2009, the generational smoking ban. Were then lighting up, I think, in one of the rooms of The Spectator. I went, isn't this fun? You know, I think handing out cigars thinking, you know, actually, you want to deny the children of tomorrow this pleasure? And they were like, yeah, actually, you know, it's quite fun. I was like, you know. So I think that was quite enjoyable. I think Amal Rajan once was DJing in Michael Graves' office, which was fun. Yes. We once had a prankster.

10:27I can't remember his name.

10:28Tim Shipman: Yeah, yeah. It's going to be Toby L. Even if I could remember his name, I would not say it because he doesn't deserve a mention. But he managed to sneak into the party and then started pranking all the politicians. I think he was filming it. And it was a big stunt for him. And it went kind of viral at the time. Really? It was about five years ago, six years ago. I think it was 2021. Yeah. Yeah, something like that. And I think it's just, you know, a good way to kind of get people mingling. I've got this great photo of Wes Streeting and Justin Welby, I remember, in 2024, looking very sort of like carry on archbishop or something like that.

11:05Tim Shipman: I'm not sure necessarily Wes will be bringing out that photo again, Justin Welby's predicament subsequently. But you do get sort of, it does look like the YMCA, that picture, and you do get these kind of interesting cross-cultural ones. Yes.

11:17Noa Hoffman: And in the interest of very serious journalism, which party tends to represent the most drunk guests?

11:26Tim Shipman: That is a good question. I think the Lib Dems have never been big enough to sort of leave a meaningful mark. Savage. Social commentary there if you wish it. I think the reform lot tend to enjoy themselves and make it known that they are enjoying themselves. I think Labour, there's a spectrum. You know, you get some who are very abstemious, representing the non-conformist tradition of the old Labour movement, but others sort of go off the deep end. So that's quite a nice sort of range. And then the Tories, I think they just like having a good time and they just like talking to anyone. So they're good for a party, I'd say.

11:58I'd say Reform are pretty seasoned drinkers. So even though they probably consume the most, they wear it pretty well. Tories can get embarrassingly drunk sometimes.

12:07Tim Shipman: And a couple of squash nationalists as well. I mean, Stephen Flynn's popped in a couple of times, I think. Yeah. Yep. Scots can drink. He's done it again. And none of the guards are independents yet. We get to see how they do. Although I was at the US Embassy last night and I had a former government minister telling me that some of the finest Scotch whiskeys he's ever been recommended have come from some of the ambassadors from the Gulf states. Interesting. From deeply Islamic countries.

12:28Noa Hoffman: And Freddie, do you have any tips for that classic dilemma at Westminster events where you're stuck one-on-one talking to someone really boring and you want to get out of the conversation but you don't want to be rude, what's the best way to go about it? Never do cocktail eyes. It's extremely rude. And some people lock in if you do, I think. So they still know that I can tell this person is trying to get away from me. So they will just cling to them like a limpet. My wife always says that I palm, this is not at the spectator party, but at weddings, I always palm people off on her. So I've talked to someone and I go, I don't think you've met my wife.

13:03And then while they're talking, I do a vanishing act.

13:06Noa Hoffman: Oh, that is the worst when someone does it to you. And then you'll start carrying on the conversation. It's really bad form. But, you know, that's what married life is like. The real trick is to be even more boring. So you start talking about the weather. If they're obviously not interested in sport, go on about football. And last one for both of you. The party doesn't begin till the evening, but we've already cracked open a bottle of pole. What is your tip for not ending up on the floor and embarrassing yourself, a.k.a. how do you pace yourself throughout the night?

13:43Tim Shipman: I always snaffle a Tesco sandwich and steal it to someone in the office. Really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's amazing. Yeah, treat it like a festival. But also just pace yourself. It's a marathon, not a sprint. I'm already feeling a bit tipsy, so I think I am in no position to give anyone advice because it would be immensely hypocritical.

14:01Noa Hoffman: Thank you, Freddie, for that very honest answer. Now, unfortunately, at 1.20pm, we were unable to be joined by our esteemed political editor, Tim Shipman, as he was at the US Embassy 4th of July party last night, which meant he was on a very tight deadline this morning and was bashing out his political column and couldn't make it in time. However, he has done all listeners the courtesy of leaving a voice note with his hot takes on the Spectator Summer Party. And so I will leave you, dear listeners, with the thoughts of Tim Shipman.

14:38James Heale: Two greatest political parties in Westminster are both run by the Spectator, the Spectator Summer Party in July and the Commentarian of Year Awards in November. Before I joined The Spectator, I always tried to write the magazine at least once a year to ensure that my name never dropped off the invite lists for these august occasions. My favourite summer party was in 2017, the height of the Brexit wars. You had David Davis and Boris Johnson both circulating the garden, prowling like big beasts, trying to be the sort of biggest Brexiteer in town. I remember David Davis grabbing Boris's sister, Rachel Johnson, and sort of embracing her.

15:16James Heale: Boris looking rather disgusted by this. And Dede taunting him and saying, you know, you couldn't even get your sister to vote for Brexit. I could have made her vote for Brexit. Rachel Johnson looking pretty horrified. Prospect of how David Davis planned to make this happen. And Davis was holding court a little bit later. A whole bunch of journalists explaining his Brexit negotiation strategy. And confessing that, you know, he was being spied upon by the Europeans. and that he'd had to get a new phone and that he now stored it in his version of a Faraday case to stop it being hacked by nefarious European powers and that his Faraday case was a biscuit tin in his kitchen.

15:59James Heale: I remember another year where James Forsyth, one of my predecessors as political editor, sort of prowling the grounds of the party, and we chanced across a source who revealed to us what had been said in Cabinet earlier that week by Philip Hammony. He was then the Chancellor of the Exchequer and Hammond had made a couple of howlingly inappropriate comments and once our saucer disappeared, James and I agreed that he would write one of them up for the spectator and I would keep one of them for the Sunday Times. I can't remember what James' was. My story was that Hammond was slagging off lady train drivers, which was a peculiar thing to do as Chancellor of the Exchequer and it made a nice front-page story for the Sunday Times.

16:41James Heale: I also remember in 2017, standing there trying to get David Davis to give me the inside skinny on what he was up to. And suddenly there was this insistent sort of tugging at my sleeve as an aggressive young woman started talking to me. And I'm sort of thinking, good God, you know, when I'm speaking to the Secretary of State here, I don't really need this. And it was someone I'd met from the London Assembly a year earlier who I'd been quite impressed with and thought, you know, this person might go far. And then in 2017, I thought, hang on a minute, this is a rum do. I need to be speaking to David Davis, not this aggressive young woman.

17:19James Heale: And thus did I become aware of the persistence of one Kemi Badenok.

17:55Tim Shipman: We'll see you next week. at all. You can manage orders, sync inventory, track returns, all automatically. Everything your operation needs, all in one place. Upgrade your shipping operations to stress proof your biggest sales days and capture every bit of potential revenue. Go to ShipStation.com and use code AUDIO and get 30 days free.