From “Manchild” to Mentor ft. Schea Cotton | Coffeez for Closers with Joe Shalaby

0:00By the time I was 15 years old, I was considered one of the best players in the country. The term man-child was devised in order to describe Shea Cotton. Playoffs, high love for Shea! Oh, ho, ho, ho! Shea Cotton is the best high school athlete that I've ever, ever seen. It's been all monarch so far, high love! Shea Cotton was like LeBron James before there ever was a LeBron James. Google Shea Cotton, you'll see.

0:38Welcome to another episode of Coffees. Thanks for joining here, Shane. Thank you for having me, Joe. All right, cool. So, Shay, you know, you've been through quite the journey. We're going to dive into your journey. But before we do that, I'd like to ask every guest the same thing. What's your morning routine, brother? Morning routine. Start my morning on my knees, saying my prayers. I turn on something uplifting self-improvement wise Typically I listen to Bishop T.D. Jakes This morning I was listening to Maya Angelou Speaking to my journey Whatever mood that I wake up in I try to type that into YouTube And find something inspirational Just to wire me for the day Before I touch any email, any social media platform I pour into myself Love that, love that Start the day with God Absolutely Every day Absolutely Well let's dive into it So what do you think most people right now still misunderstand about gifted kids and what weight they carry with everyone around them who expects greatness out of them?

1:35I think what most people don't understand about the gifted kids is the work that they put in behind the scenes, aside from their natural talent, to rise to the top of the food chain in their profession at a younger age. And the weight that that carries, once you become established and become one of the best players, then everybody's gunning for you kind of have a bullseye on your back and it's that consistency being able to produce at that level is what makes you special and separates you from your peers you know you were i think the number one high school phenom at the time and you know everybody was talking about you nationwide what is the misconception if you want to if you're okay to about the fall of Shea Cotton?

2:21Great question. The misconception is there was no wrongdoing on my behalf. My name was never cleared. My family name was slandered throughout the process, which I think hurt my professional chances to rise to the highest level. And that's part of why we created the Mad Child documentary and why I do a lot of work that I'm doing today with the youths, just to kind of get them aware and show them that there's other ways to win in life, not just actually playing the game of basketball, but everything in the business that surrounds it at the same time. Yeah, I mean, like, all of a sudden, Shea Cotton just disappeared, you know?

2:56It was like hype around Shea Cotton, Shea Cotton, and then, boom, it was like you disappeared off the planet. Yeah, well, I went overseas. You know, I played ball international for about 10 years after I went undrafted in the NBA. Played in Europe, South America, played in Asia, played in all the minor leagues, CBA, MBDL before the G League was created. So I had my time. My professional opportunities didn't go the way I thought it would go, but I got a lot of life experience, learned a lot about myself, and prepared me for ultimately the work I'm doing today. What do you think the greatest lesson is that you learned from that experience?

3:33It's not how you start, it's how you finish. And nobody sees the middle everybody sees the beginning in the end in the middle is where you learn about yourself and find out who you really are and that's what I speak to and that's where I tend to live today I speak to the journey I speak to the process and I speak to the resilience in life I love that now you've lived the kind of early success that like everybody dreams about that success right what's the deeper cost that rarely gets talked about great question the Deep across is giving up your childhood, you know, in your adolescent stages, as well as your personal life.

4:12I mean, it's definitely impacted. You start to look at everybody. You feel like you're living in a fishbowl. You look at everybody like they want something from you because most of them do. I was a kid at 15 years old, you know, playing a sport that I loved, you know, dealing with a lot of adults that were looking at the exploitation side of me as a player before NIL, before social media. So it was a big deal at that time. I mean, man, if the Shaycon existed today, that existed back then, what do you think would be different? The NIL. You know, I would have broke the bank. You'd be making millions of dollars.

4:45For sure. It'd be a$10 million valuation, for sure. You know, and the thing is, I look at social media two ways. I like it. And you would have had millions of followers. Yeah, for sure. For sure. And, you know, a lot of these kids today don't know who I am. So that's part of what we're trying to do here is to reinvent myself and make deposits in the kids of today. because they're the future of tomorrow to help them have different pathways to succeed. You know, when you finish college, if the NBA is not calling, what are you going to do next? So just having those resources in place to help people land on their feet.

5:18Yeah, I mean, the NBA could be calling, but they could be calling for like a summer internship. You know, my buddy owns the Suns. He'd be like, yo, go work. And you scrub the floors. That's right. That's right. Start at the bottom, work your way up. But you're not going to play against all these guys. You're going to barely be 5 '11", bro. my kid. Like, if you're lucky, 5 '11". Well, you know, it's the heart of it, though. You see McConnell, you know, playing with the Pacers. You got some small guys that really test the status quo, you know, from a height standpoint. I tell people it's not about...

5:47Well, Spud Webb played. Muggsy Bogues. That won't happen anymore. Earl Boykins. You know, you got some small guys that did well. I mean, it's not about the size. It's the heart of the individual. So, I tell people that all the time. Yeah. Yeah, that's right. No, they had heart like nobody's business. When did you know your story wasn't just a personal journey, but like a responsibility for you to serve the next generation? Great question. I think when the film was completed, when we did our first screening, we saw the response. What was that response like? We had rented out one of the theaters that the theater right across from Paramount Studios, Raleigh Studios in Hollywood.

6:25And by the time we were about to air, we had to open up and rent a whole nother studio because we had about 200 people in the overflow. So opening night for the screening, we probably had close to 500, 600 people at a screening that we only prepared for 300. So I knew that there was a demand. And then after the screening was over, we had people that were crying in the audience, people that just felt a call to action. Some people were angry. Other people were enlightened. And we do Q &As after the film, and people were really moved. It took almost an hour to answer everybody's questions. So I knew there was an impact because it was the youth and the adults that were very inquisitive about the film and things that happened in my career.

7:08So when you say people were angry, like what were they, were they angry that you got burned in the process? Were they angry about the system? Were they angry about the lack of justice? Were they angry? What were the, what was the, you know, the primary variables there? Yeah, I think the, the main thing about it was they saw through the film that I got basically a raw deal. And like I said, they didn't clear my name. So there was a slander that was done, a defamation of character. And so we're dispelling a lot of that today. I've had to work really hard and make sure I kept my image together so I can rip myself and my family in the right light.

7:44And I think today, working with the kids I'm working with and the families that know I'm working with their kids, they see the growth in their kids. And you can't monetize that. I think that gives me a different level of respect and appreciation in our fabric today in the sports realm and even with the kids. My whole thing is building those testimonies. If I can help inspire you to make you better, we're on the right track. That's wonderful. Tell the audience, what's this movie about? Give the overview and what do you want the audience to first off, I don't know if they can go see it without a private screening, if it's going to be in theaters nationwide but the gist of the film, what's the objective of it?

8:27The film is, the premise is basically based on the story of myself and my family. A guy that was highly touted, the number one player in the country, who was basically a surefire first-round draft pick. And it didn't happen. Everybody thought that I was going to have a long career in the NBA, and my life took a turn. And I don't think a lot of people understand the dynamics behind why it took a turn and how it took a turn. They just hear rumors. Right. The documentary speaks to it, but then the Q &A, I dive into the meat and potatoes of the experience so you get to learn even further, you know, the details of behind the scenes with the NCAA, things that happened along the way, how I wound up playing two years out of high school and prep school and junior college before I arrived at a Power Five at University of Alabama.

9:14So that's part of the mission. The other side is, you know, to show kids. There's other ways to win in life. You know, I started one way, thought it was going to end one way, and I'm in a completely different space today. And it's rewarding to see people being impacted and they're young and then you see them getting older and they come back and say, I appreciate you. The time you spent really made a difference in my life. You know, I've had NBA players come on and they still got to find themselves after the NBA. That's right. Sometimes it's harder for them. Yeah. Sometimes they lose it all. Right.

9:46So even if you had went to the NBA, you probably wouldn't be better off than you are right now. I think I'm better now that I didn't. I feel like I was spared in a sense because I didn't like the system, if that makes sense. I love the sport, love to compete, that the highest level playing is the best talent. But the business of it turned me off. I couldn't stand what money did to people and the greed behind it, the stuff that you saw behind the scenes. That's the part that I didn't like. I'm an introvert, a lot like Kobe was, rest in peace. And I put a lot into the game and a lot into myself, you know, so I could be a bigger blessing.

10:24Yeah, I mean, you're a godly man. I mean, I think people lose sight of the Lord in the NBA. 100%. A lot of them do. Yeah. They don't want you to have that conversation on camera, talking about religion and things like that. But, you know, my whole thing is I'll never deny my faith because that's what sustained me and has me here today and a strong family structure being able to lean on. And I dealt with years of depression, years of suicidal tendencies, and this stuff was real. You know, the weight, you know, heavy, what is it, say, heavy the head that wears a crown. Heavy the head that wears a crown.

10:56So the weight of it, you feel. Being the man is harder than people think. I tell people all the time, like, be careful what you ask for because you just might get it. You know, I was having this conversation yesterday. It's like, as the CEO of a big company, I don't really get, the only mentors I get is the people that come into my podcast. Wow. That's why I love podcasting because I get mentorship every time. I get to sit down. One-hour mentorship. Or I have a couple of spiritual mentors and then a business mentor. And Dave Meltzer coaches me. I always seek mentorship. My point is that people come to the CEO thinking he knows everything.

11:35It's like, dude, I'm just like you. That's right. I need help. Pour into me. That's right. There you go. You filled my cup too. There you go. I filled my cup. but like that's not you're not allowed to do that right the ceo right like everybody's coming to you for counsel or wisdom or the answer that's right that's right so thank god i got a business partner who's my best friend who's also wiser than me um so he he pours into me a lot but i'm always man i'm always on a quest for you know improvement because i just know i'm just this little speck of dust in this world that's right yeah you make it bigger than yourself you know yeah Yeah.

12:14So let's dive into it. So today you work with young athletes all over the country. What are the core principles you insist on building before anything else? Core principles are hard work, dedication, commitment, sacrifice, and the will to be your best self. I think if you can stick to that and be consistent with your production when you get the opportunity, with that combination, good things usually happen. The problem is I see kids that develop, they start to see results, and then they become complacent. And then the guy that's not as talented as you that's willing to go the extra mile, he's going to surpass you.

12:47So you have to be consistent in your approach with your craft and be willing to prove yourself and be consistent about it. Now, let me ask you this. Man Child, it wasn't just a documentary. It was like a true declaration. What truth did you feel finally needed to be said out loud? Great question. I think the truth that needed to be told was there was no wrongdoing on my behalf. I'm a sharp guy. People that know me, they know that. It's more to me than basketball. The film speaks to pieces of it. The NCAA did something in my career that I can't regain. Two years was taken out of my career that really impacted me emotionally and mentally.

13:29I was obviously still one of the best players in the country. I'm probably one of the only California guys to recruit at four different times in high school. So I took close to 12 to 16 college visits in that time. unbeknownst to myself you know I didn't see what was ahead but I got to the top of the mountain and then when you get there it's like what do you do now you're by yourself how do you stay driven and how do you keep your edge so that's something that I took I took a liking to the fact that I was an introvert and I knew I was a loner it helped me and I think today being in this space not achieving my ultimate dream playing in the NBA and having an opportunity to impact so many kids gives me a bigger platform because it's like the what-ifs and all the things that didn't work in my life I can impart back to the youth.

14:16I think it helped be a bigger blessing. That's wonderful. When you mentor a rising player, what are you looking for beyond talent? What signals whether someone is ready for the work you bring? I think the grit, the commitment, the intensity, and the will to prove yourself. You know, half of the work is the work you see behind the scenes, and the other work is when the lights come on. Everybody trains, but who can produce consistently at a high level? So I look for the player that's willing to dare to be great, and that's what I tell kids. Dare to be great, dream big, and give it all you got. You say live full and die empty.

15:00Have you mentored any players that went to the NBA yet? I worked with Daniel Hamilton, who went to UConn. He's an L.A. guy, played at Crenshaw and finished at Bosco. Him and his brother Isaac. I mentored both of them growing up. I've got a cousin now, Kasan Lawson, who's at Marina High School. He's an up-and-coming guard, sophomore playing varsity there. There are several guys. I work with Harrison Barnes, who's in the Golden State Warriors. I'm not sure if San Antonio, I think he's now with the Spurs. There are several guys. I spent a little time with KD early in his career, Kevin Durant. A lot of stuff behind the scenes.

15:33I don't promote those kind of things. It's more of an intimate experience. Guys will reach out sometimes through social media. We might meet up and, you know, might just have a sit-down talking about stuff. Yeah, because everyone, all these NBA players, they know your story. Yeah. You know, because it was a true travesty in the basketball world. Yeah. Me being a basketball fan, and I'm sure KD and all these guys know your story. You probably went up against them. Yeah, a lot of guys talked about on plane rides to road games and stuff. Some of my peers that played in the NBA, they would tell me guys like Kevin Garnett telling stories about me and guys like Tim Duncan, Tony Parker, asking some of the guys from L.A.

16:20that played with them, was he really that good? So a lot of people just, like, you don't understand. It was before social media. I mean, they compared me, the writers, that is, to Jordan and Barkley like a combination. And I think that was pretty accurate because it was a grit, a tenacity, athleticism, and just a will to be my best self. Yeah. I mean, you're a sharp guy, man. You know, the story's still to be told, right? So that's what you're doing. Absolutely. We got a book in the works, too. So I'm not dead yet. Yeah. Let's go. Let's inspire. Let's do God's work. Absolutely. Absolutely. Let's use that child.

16:56So what was the inspiration to name the documentary Man Child? Man Child is a moniker that the writers gave me when I was playing. They said watching me was like a man amongst boys, like it was unfair. And the reason that it looked like that is because I dared to be great. I constantly test myself, played and trained against my brother constantly, and he beat up on me. He was always two and a half years older, so I grew up playing against him and his peers. and I had to first be tough enough to be on the court to compete with them. So there was no fouls being called. So to be able to get through that, the physicality of the game, which I grew to love and to prove myself with his peers and then to be able to come back to my group in my class and then basically dominate.

17:42And I just would rinse and repeat that experience. So I would always keep an edge and stay in the front. And I think a lot of guys today don't play enough pickup. They do a lot of training development with trainers. But the pickup, understanding the flow, the spacing, how to pick a roll on the defensive end, how to come off of it on the offensive end, and just really understanding your personnel, who needs to get the ball, when and where and why, and ultimately being consistent with your approach. That's awesome. Now, what's the most dangerous thing about today's youth sports culture, and how are you building something to protect young men from it?

18:18The most dangerous in the youth sports probably would be the NIL and the vultures around it. The protection mechanism will be to lay out resources so they can chart their path, they can see their journey, and just stay committed to your commitment and ultimately stay close to me along your journey and not steer away from us because you start to get to a certain point where you get the accolades, you get the NIL, and you start getting the attention, and it goes to your head. I think that is the biggest downfall. Why do you think the NIL is a downfall? I mean, in one component for the superstars, it's changing their life, their families' lives, encouraging them to stay in college, thankfully, instead of get drafted.

19:01But we never looked, and obviously it was illegal before to give a player money before they get drafted. But now it's like the status quo. What is it that you feel is dangerous about it now? I think early success, when you're not used to it and you don't have the right circle around you to manage it and continue to chart your path to get better, is what will allow players to not reach their goals. There's so much money around the sport now as far as high school to college. I think it dilutes the hunger. When you get too much money in high school. They're giving high school players? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

19:46Bronny James had a$7 million valuation at Sierra Canyon. I mean, he go to SC. I think he had$4 million,$3.8 million, somewhere in there. You know, you're talking these guys are making more money in one year than the college coaches getting paid. So from high school to college, what I see in college is the coaches can't build chemistry from year to year that's consistent because guys are being interchanged because of the money. You can win and have a great season. A guy's happy, and the next thing you know, his name's in the portal. So there's no loyalty there. So it makes it harder for those teams to be competitive year to year.

20:20And I think the mid-majors are the ones that suffer because they have a smaller collective, a lot smaller financially. So you can't get the quality of talent to compete against the Power Fives, like the Dukes and UCLA's and some of the bigger schools. Why can't they get the talent? The money. You know, they just can't seem to secure enough funding for the guys that have five-star ability to come in and play for them. Because now the guys now, they want playing time and they want to know how much money they're going to get paid. And ultimately, is there any endorsements in it for them as well? So it has to do with everything else besides the game.

20:54And I think it's affecting the game on some level. It's not that I don't like the NIL. I like it because players are finally starting to get monetized in their space. but I think it's taken away from the game because of the team concept and the loyalty aspect is starting to become fleeting. That's sad to see. You're not seeing the same level of talent. Yeah, I saw there was a documentary Shaq did because he's the president of Reebok Basketball, and he's scouting kids like 9th grade, 10th grade, like early. Right, trying to revive the brand however they can. I mean, Reebok was hot, him and Iris, and back in the day I can remember.

21:33Everybody was wearing the Iversons, and Shaq was everywhere. So I respect what he's doing. I was on Mike Bibby's podcast last night, the Straight Game podcast, and we were talking about the NIL, and he said, look, it's killing the mid-majors because they just can't compete financially. So all the guys that they're going after are going to Power Fives because they have a bigger budget. Yeah, it's kind of like they're like the Lakers. That's right. The Power Five. That's right. I don't even know what Cooper Flatt got. I tell you, I'm sure he's doing fine. He's a hell of a talent. No, he's a hell of a time.

22:04And he got, I mean, they said his deal with the NBA, like with all the endorsements over the next couple of years, like in the billions. Unbelievable. Yeah, so it's a next level, number one pick. Right. With endorsements and all that over the next, it was like a billion bucks for his first five or ten years. Something crazy. Good for him. Yeah, good for him. So, you know, you speak to parents as much as you speak to players. what do you tell them about their role building or or breaking their child's foundation great question i think the important piece with the parents is just to be a parent rather than being a parent coach and somebody like a helicopter parent hovering over the kid at the games and on the refs and hounding the coach just be a parent come and you know participate in as far as support you know cheering for your kid if things need to be said you need to pick a time after the game ideally or before they play and let them have the experience during the game so they don't feel like they have to choose where does my attention go.

23:04Am I looking at the coach? Am I looking at my parent during the game on the sideline? You know, that's a distraction. So I talk to them about those things where if you can just focus on being a parent and let the kid get the opportunity and let the professionals in sport, you know, handle their sport. That way it makes it easier for you. You're lighter than when you're at home. have these conversations with them but come from a place of love rather than demeaning you know the kid and trying to beat their spirit up so i think that's a challenge today with the nil things have changed because the landscape what i see is a lot of the parents are living vicariously through the kids because of the money so and the parents get a little out of control you're seeing a lot more fights and things like that at the game and that's the unfortunate side of the business right now yeah discipline humility accountability these are all words that show up in everything you do why are they the non-negotiables in your program discipline you have to have in anything in life if you want to become something and do anything that's about substance i think accountability we have to have in life things won't always go well it's better to look in the mirror than to be quick to blame or point fingers.

24:16I was always taught, my father used to tell me, rest in peace, that every time you point the finger, you got three pointing right back at you. So it's better to look within yourself. How can I fix things and how can I be better? It helps me to be a bigger impact. And the last one was...

24:36So why are they non-negotiable? So it's discipline, humility, and accountability. The humility aspect is crucial. I think that's something that I lean to more than anything. When I meet people, I come in low so I can kind of check the temperature and see where they are. And you can meet people where they are. I find you can make a bigger impact that way. And it resonates different. You're not coming in bragging, boisterous. You really want to make an impact because you're coming with service rather than with your handout. And that's the best way to live life, just be of service to everyone you meet.

25:09Absolutely. Now, if you could sit down right now one-on-one with a 15-year-old who's being told he's the next big thing, what would you tell him? Not as a warning, but as preparation. If I could sit down with the next big thing at 15 years old today, I would tell him, keep your feet on the ground. Take the trash out. Treat the janitor like the president. Remember, you're only as good as your last game. And the training like your career depends on it because it does. Any warning? What would the warning be that happened to you? How would you prevent them from that tragedy happening to you? I would tell them to prepare for the inevitable.

25:52I always say prepare for the worst and hope for the best. And focus on your end goal. Having the big picture in mind at the whole time. So you push, okay, I become a pro athlete. And then what does life look like while you're a pro? And what does it look like after? If you can prepare for all those steps while you're embarking on that journey, I think you'll land in a better place. A lot of guys, they get to a point where either they don't get drafted and then you're just perplexed and you don't know how to recover and move forward or you have a great career, things work, and now the second phase of your life comes in and you're kind of lost because you're used to being the center of retention and everything being laid out, and now you have to be proactive and do things on your own with the money.