How a Homeless Dropout Built 8-Figures Without Burning Out

0:29Pretty much everything. is actually fairly boring. Actually, it's not for me. So one of the things I discovered while building businesses is when you start as an entrepreneur, one of the things you do is you wake up with anxious energy and you feel like if you're not taking ice, you just stumble everywhere. And what I realized is how I started my day was how I did my day and finished my day. So if I started off with a bunch of anxious energy and all kinds of stuff, that would be the day. The day would be gone. I'd be like, what the hell just happened to my day? Right? So I actually start off with what I refer to as a presence practice.

1:00so I wake up 5 36 in the morning most most mornings before I even get out of bed I say a mantra to myself four times I'm healthy I am wealthy I am wise I'm a steward of the most high and probably the most important one was the most difficult one for me to say for as long as I did was I love you Stephen and one of the things that came out of that is I realized that even when I was building businesses I was actually chasing worth and not necessarily trying to build legacy So it was a big shift there. From there, I go into a bit of a, I go out in the lake because my house is on the lake, Lake Norman.

1:32And I'll walk the grass for a half hour. And out there, I'm just like slowing things down. Because what I've discovered is after the exit, I wish I'd known this decade earlier. If I could slow things down in my morning, I could actually accelerate things in my business. And that was one of the big takeaways. So the presence practice starts there. Occasionally, I did a journaling practice for six months that was really, really cool. It's called What I Hear You Say Is. So I would just go sit down in a quiet and pull a pen out, write that sentence at the top of the thing with a question mark, and I would just sit there and listen.

2:08Sometimes it was a minute. Sometimes it was 10. Sometimes it was 30 seconds. But I would start one word, and the next word would form itself, and before long, I'd have a whole page. Wow. And some of the newest ideas, the concepts, we talked a lot about AI and stuff like that when you were on my show. And a lot of the really cool things that are kind of starting to take shape now actually came out of those moments. And what I've discovered is some of the best advice, the best insights, the best steps for your business, the best steps for clarity and just like feeling more aligned. And, dude, all of it starts right there.

2:40And then I hit the gym. So that's my morning routine. Man, that's a pretty robust morning routine. I mean, you know, when was your exit from your company? Late 2023. 2023. Yeah, started in 1998 from the Trash Biles construction site. Oh, we're going to dive into that. Sleeping in a bar friend's car, and then 25 years later, it was an overnight success. I love that. And then you got bored. Yeah, I got bored. Yeah. And then you figured out, you know, I'm going to start another company. Yeah. Almost immediately. It's funny. We were talking off air a little bit about my girlfriend. And one of the things she asked me, she says, how'd you celebrate?

3:12Like, how'd you celebrate when you exited your company? I was like, uh. I tried to take three weeks off. And I used the word tried. Yeah. Um, but I pretty much started building the next thing almost immediately. Yeah. And she's, that's where she's like leaning into about more gratitude and stuff like that. So, you know, it's funny, like you could have an exit, but not really exit. Like, which is like, you know, the position we, we discussed, like you just want to keep building like builders. Yeah. Well, the crazy part is if you haven't, if you have an exit without a, what I refer to as a transformational transition strategy, what happens is, is all the worth, everything you've ever felt about yourself, all of it's tied directly to that business.

3:54Yeah. So you exit and all of a sudden you have a bit like an identity crisis. It's like, who am I? Why am I here? What am I doing? What am I doing about it? Because every day you woke up and you were attacking that thing every day. You know, you were, you know, we were talking about, you know, having relationships with clients and then, you know, trying to, you know, feed a family and, you know, we both have kids and, And, you know, just trying to figure that stuff out. Right. So it's it's interesting that I was I was I'll share this with you. One of the things that people don't talk enough about, in my opinion, this is a big one, is what happens when you get, quote, unquote, the success that you think you've always wanted and you realize you're still empty.

4:32Yeah. And that's where I was in late 2023. I mean, I mean, early 24. I mean, I'm just like sitting on top of a mountain in Utah in a beautiful home. It was basically paid for and like could travel. I had resource, had time and I wasn't happy you know so what do you think was the was the shift, was it mental, was it physical was it spiritual for you dude it was like all of it you know I'm a person of faith in general my audience knows that most people that know me closely know that I don't flaunt it I don't put it in people's face and all kinds of stuff but I had a bit of a spiritual encounter before I started the company and I kind of alluded to the fact about the journal piece, but hey man, this journal thing is like dialed in.

5:16You know, this is where I'm getting a lot of this essence. What I've discovered is, is all of my greatest moments of growth came after my greatest moments of suffering or pain. So ending of a relationship I didn't expect, you know, a year or so ago. Thought I was going to get engaged in the whole deal. And it really exploded in my face right after that. I wasn't expecting it. Um, so everything that I had kind of anchored to was uprooted again, but out of that, um, we start breaking free from like things like what I refer to as the self abandonment cycle or rescuing program. Um, you know, I was very fortunate to, uh, my girlfriend now is she's a very successful entrepreneur.

5:57All right. So I know she's, she's in it for me. Like she's not, she's not trying to gain anything or gain the system kind of thing. Um, Um, as a result, a lot of that becomes spiritual under pressure. So what I've tried to do with my life specifically is I try to run to my faith at times of crisis rather than make it, let it be the last thing that I show up for. You know, one of the things I'm passionate about, and this is, I tell you what, this, this came out of that. So 2017, I did a live event called transform your life in Raleigh area, which is where I'm originally from. um i had a modest showing i had some i had some great thought leaders some of them are actually still live in the area in the california area um come out we did an event some of them were hybrid because it was just right after covid and i said on stage at the top of my lungs and this is where you just lose yourself i know you speak too so you sometimes you just lose where you're at lose your rat in a good way you're like you're in flow right it's like it's like something else is talking through you right i utter these words if you're going to be successful at life or anything you have to become one part lion and one part lamb.

7:07What's crazy about that is that was the first and last time I said that until about six months ago. Now that's becoming the entire essence of everything I stand on, how I lead people, how I have relationships, how I build businesses, how I develop myself, how I try to develop my, you know, my kids. And now believe it or not, grandkids, I'm almost 50. Um, it's like, what is the balance, right? Cause if you, if you're, if you're building a life or a business and you're all one or the other, then you're out of balance. So if you're all lying, you're dominant, you're controlling your weight, just the over assertive, right?

7:42You're, you're, you're leading, but you're leading typically from insecurity or fear, right? Other side, if you're all lamb, well, you're a people pleaser. You're getting pushed over. You're getting stepped on. You're not speaking up for yourself. You're self-abandoning the balance, the paradigm. If you have a giant pendulum, right? Is this concept of being aligned. Well, you only get aligned by actually truly knowing yourself. So I had to do a lot of inside work before. Now I get to do the outside work. It was a whole lot of fun. But, you know, when you're balanced, the lion is bold, courageous, enduring, protective, and you can just feel the presence, right?

8:17The lamb is empathetic, right? It has emotional stability, emotional regulation, emotional control. So when you say, what was the greatest shift? I actually would say, in today's words, it was learning that I had to also become one part lion and one part lamb which is something my grandfather said gosh 10 a decade ago it's hard for guys like you and me to be a lamb yeah it is it is and it's a tough pill to swallow let's talk about you know you went from homelessness to building eight and multiple eight building multiple eight figure companies not just one what did rock bottom actually look like for you and how did you get out of rock bottom yeah well i'll say this much so i didn't build those companies overnight first of all um i had a lot of growth process so i don't have a high school background i didn't finish high school i dropped out early to help family pay the bills at the time my decision um i was just tired of the lights getting cut off and the water being cold and whatever uh i was given an opportunity by my first mentor to build a company he bought me everything, did everything for me.

9:24I made a bunch of money really fast. And before long, I got cocky. I got arrogant. I got involved with the wrong person. Next thing you know, a year later, I'm literally kicking dirt and looking at the stars and not living my best life. What was really interesting about that is the company that I sold in 2020, late 2023 was the company I founded after a bit of a divine encounter, almost ending my life. I told you I'm here for one of the things I'm actually here for is a promise to live conference. That's one of the speakers there. Um, that phase recently suicidal. Well, no, that was, that was a couple of decades ago.

9:59That was before I started the company, uh, that particular thing. Um, however, I've, I've had to confront my shadow side many times, right? And here's the crazy part. Most of us resist the shadow side rather than learning to embrace and love the shadow side. Cause then you get integration and then you get grounded. You're present. You're, you're ready to rock and roll. Um, But in the grand scheme of things, I became, when people say, how did you become homeless? That's pride and arrogance. At the end of the day, it's pride and arrogance all day long. It was dumb. It was foolish. I was an idiot.

10:29And when you say, how did I go and build several companies? Some of them were doing upwards close to nine figures in top of our annual revenue and all this kind of stuff. I've really had to sit with that. I've really had to sit with that. Because I can give you the cliche answer. Oh, I want to build an amazing team. which we did, but I also struggled to build an amazing team with my own leadership style for a long time, right? Oh, we, we, we just outserved the marketplace. We did, but that's not the truth, right? They say that the businesses fail for a variety of different reasons. Top five are typically lack of sales, lack of leadership, lack of market penetration, poor product, poor product placement, so on and so forth.

11:13I've discovered it's a lot simpler than that. This is one of the things that I've been beating like a drum for like the last two months is I believe there's five constraints in building a company, building yourself. They control your behavior. They influence your behavior more than anything else. They are the very thing that when you make a bad decision that you weren't expecting to make and you go, why did I know better? Why did I do that? These things are the things that are at play. The first one is arrogance. is getting super confident, super cocky where you're at and not realizing that next year might not be the same as this year.

11:48It's the hardest thing I deal with when I'm recruiting new people to come to a company. It's arrogance, pride, ego. Yeah. And the crazy part about it is typically if you have a strong ego and a strong arrogance piece, you're actually masking a massive insecurity. You speak up to be louder than everybody else so you can kind of somehow put yourself ahead. It's a weird vibe. And everybody sees it but you. Like when I was in that season, everybody saw it but me. I thought I was doing X, Y, and Z for X, Y, and Z reason. And I realized that people judge us by our actions. We always judge ourselves by our intentions.

12:26So that was a huge, huge thing. But the polar opposite of arrogance, right, is honestly humility. And there's, and everyone, I believe everyone will go through a humbling. Either it's by choice, meaning you're choosing to look at your blind spots, look at the areas that you need to improve or can't improve. You're at a place where you're trying to become more self-aware or life is going to smack you with it at some point in time. Right. And again, I've got friends. I've had clients that are seven, eight figure earners, all kinds of stuff. And their biggest moments of transition and difficulty wasn't had nothing to do with money.

13:04they had money it was identity it was worth right you know so then you look at the second constraint right which is ignorance right you don't know what you don't know you're telling you think you know what you don't know or you're unwilling to look at for what you don't know yeah right so you know we've we've been very fortunate in business and done some cool things but i've also been very stupid in business still am sometimes yeah i mean dude i've i i do stupid with dollar signs like and i'm trying really hard not to do that stuff anymore um you know i've had I'll use this word suspected embezzlement about 1.7 million dollars uh in the early uh well the early mid to we'll call it mid mid 2000s um I have bought stuff I shouldn't have bought I have invested money in places I shouldn't have invested I have not listened to wise counsel right and so it's like that's a combination of ignorance and arrogance right you know so how do you get how do you how do you get overcome ignorance is teachability you have to be willing to humble yourself to learn from people who have the character qualities that you admire, but are also doing the things that you want to do.

14:08And when you dig into that, you can like really build something amazing. The third one, I think is probably the one that we all deal with. I call it impatience, right? So I, you and I, you know, I joked about this, I think on my show a little bit, but I was at an event. I can't remember how many, it was several months ago. It was a long time ago. And, uh, I was given the opportunity to speak to the, to the group a little bit. So I said, by show of hands everybody raise your hand right listen by show of hands who are who in this room feels like you should be further ahead than you actually are and dude every single hand went up it was it was it wasn't even like 99 it was every stinking hand right and it's because we're impatient we want it now we want it now we want it now we want it now you know um i know you're you've got some really cool projects that you're working on we have we talked about a little bit off air and i'm sure part of you is like i just want to see it finished now like i want to go it rolling but that's the kind of mindset i am it's like i'm launching like we went in we're launching yeah saw the vision and boom let's roll yeah so what do you think the opposite what do you think the the opposite or the antidote to impatience is out of curiosity what do you think it is that's a really tough question because the antidote to impatience is really humility.

15:23It's definitely tied to it. I would say from my definition would be it's presence. And the reason I think it's presence is because presence it forces you to be in the moment now. And if you're in the moment now you're going to be taking actions and making decisions based on a strategy rather than reactivity. See I was actually coaching an entrepreneur literally on the airplane on the way here. And, uh, they're awesome. We got a, they got a massive heart. They have the ability to build a good size business. They love their team. They love their family. They're just good people. Right. At the same time I'm giving, I'm laying out a strategy.

16:07I'm like, Hey, this is the strategy that we need to execute on to get you from here to here. And we start building out the strategy. Well, four steps into the strategy. you're like, well, can we just skip step five, please? No, just get, just give me step five. Just give me stuff. I'll take care of step five for you. I'm like, no, I'm not going to give you step five. We're going to follow the strategy. And the reason I'm doing that is because I'm forcing every entrepreneur that we work with to be present, right? Yes. Make, yes. Make, make a one-year goal, right? We want to increase revenue by X.

16:38We want to build this kind of team. We want to have this new building. We want to do this. We want to do it and have the, and have the goal. But if you're not taking a daily strategy step towards that goal every stinking day, and you're just always chasing this new shiny thing, you're never going to build a sizable, scalable business. Yeah. You know? Yeah. I think that's the, the problem and the failure of every entrepreneur is that the impatience and their lack of being present in the moment, because everybody's worried about success now. Yeah. But what people fail to enjoy is the process. Yeah.

17:17And Gary Vee said this, like that's what he attributes his success to all the time. It's like, I love the process. Yeah. I love the process. I love the process. I've learned to fall in love with the process. I haven't quite got to Gary's standard yet. Yeah. But I'm starting to kind of embrace that. And I think with like my next couple of ventures, like it's just, because you don't, I love the process now because I don't need to do it. Yeah. So it's easy to love the process. That's very true. That's very true. Like, I love this process. Like, it's fun. Like, the game is cool. You know, like, I'm over here thinking, like, my next venture, like, how am I going to get my kids involved?

17:53Like, this would be something they could get behind. You know what I mean? You know, it's really, that actually makes me think of something really interesting. One of the things that kind of coincides with impatience and what you just described is what I refer to as you're so lost in your fear, which is actually one of the other constraints, meaning that you're starting to dilute your focus. Like you're, what's the best way I can explain this? Fear is the biggest constraint. It's massive. Because an entrepreneur, his back's against the wall. Yeah. Well, here's the crazy part. If it's not a successful entrepreneur.

18:24Here's the crazy part. One of our mutual friends, Glenn Stearns, he's always talking about abundance, right? It's easy for him to talk about abundance. I know, but he's awesome. But he also, if you, if you know his story, it's not like he, he didn't, he didn't walk into it. No, he didn't. But like, he's been pretty successful for a long time. Yeah, for sure. So here's where I was going with that. The word scarcity. I found, I found, that's my, that's my Southern boy coming out right now in North Carolina. I found that if I operate in scarcity, I make dumb decisions. in other words i'm i'm gonna try to solve an immediate problem that feels uncomfortable in my soul right now rather than saying okay how is this going to affect me financially relationally marketplace legally etc and that's what i'm getting that's what i'm trying to help entrepreneurs understand to get into presence you have to slow things down right so that's why i start my day the way i start my day because without that i'm going like every entrepreneur on the planet i'm still getting after it i'm still like putting the phone up doing the deals doing the emails investing in this ai thing and doing that and doing this and you lose fulfillment when you're operating in what i refer to as wholesale the traditional hustle culture which is anxious energy just thrown at a wall waking up at 4 a.m just to wake up at 4 a.m because somebody you watched online said wake up at 4 a.m and that's how you're gonna become successful what if you slept till 5 30 you got a good night's rest so your brain is actually fed with oxygen and rest right and then made intentional decisions you understand so it's it's a it's a different type of philosophy that i'm trying to help people understand with the with the one part line one part lamb integrated integration method it's about becoming the authentic you the authentic you i believe it or not is the magnetic you you've had a lot of success on social media you've had a lot of success in business.

20:23You got a lot of success in the marketplace, right? The crazy part is, is the more you continue on your own journey of like becoming more and more authentic, the more and more it's going to, the bigger it's going to get over and over again. You know, these types of things are like super important and people, I think they just, they, they get so focused on trying to solve the immediate problem in their life that they'll sell their soul for a bowl of porridge, which is a Bible reference from Esau. So there's a character in the Bible named Jacob who ended up becoming the nation of Israel. Okay. And obviously that's a huge nation.

20:58Jewish, Jewish people, Christian people everywhere. It's basically out of this, out of this lineage, but he was not the Esau was not the firstborn. Yeah. Right. I'm sorry. Esau was the firstborn. Jacob was not the firstborn. The firstborn, the inheritance was supposed to go to Esau, but Esau gave his inheritance away for all because he was hungry in the moment. so he gives his entire legacy, his entire inheritance to Jacob and Jacob goes and builds a nation with it longterm. He's saying like, if we get so wrapped up and trying to get this one problem solved in this very moment. Now, a lot of times we're not thinking like, where's this, where's this, where's this going to affect me a year from now, two years from now, three years from now, five years from now, right?

21:40Where's my heart at in this, that kind of thing. So anyway, I'll give you the last two because we've already bounced around them just to make sure I do that for your audience. so they don't get mad at both of us, is the last two is insecurity and fear. So at my worst, leading companies, I led from a place of insecurity, right? I'd had no high school diploma, had no college background, and here I was building a multimillion dollar organization from sheer will and hope and faith. Like I'm just building it, right? And then I get to about$20 million in top line revenue, and then I realize, holy crap, this thing is way outside of my control.

22:17I don't know how I'm leading. I was hiring, I was hiring great people, people that had CPA and MBA and all these different acronyms behind their names and all this cool stuff. Like you get, you know, so, but they would come to give me a great idea and I would shut the sucker down because it wasn't my idea, which is there's the arrogance again. Why was I doing that? Because I was insecure. I felt like that if I wasn't my idea, that was the only thing I was bringing to the table, which wasn't true. Obviously, I built a business where they got there. At the same time, if you suppress your superstars, they will leave.

22:47And if you're going to build a scalable organization so you can actually have the freedoms that we now get to enjoy, like you have to have a team that is like, for lack of a better word, they're kind of ride or die with you. Yeah. You know? Yeah. I mean, that's evident in my company here. People that work for me here have been with me for three companies. Oh, yeah. 20 years. I watch them walk over and give you a big hug. Yeah. Like that, believe it or not, that one little thing tells me a lot about culture. Yeah. Culture is everything. Mm-hmm. You know, I was building a company where, like, I was just telling one of, you know, my director of marketing, it's like, I'm going to build a company, like, just because I, I, I mean, the guy who puts on my podcast, you know, because I want to see more success, more abundance for you.

23:26Yeah. Because, like, me just having you work hourly. Yeah. That's not fair to you. Like, but I think I could create something around you that can allow you, you know. You can create entrepreneurs. Yeah. Yeah. Because that's, that's what it's about. it's like God gave me these resources and abilities and the ability to bless others. And, you know, my favorite thing to do is to bless people who serve the Lord. Because I know that what they're going to do with the money. I know what they're going to do with their heart. I know what they're going to do with their talents. Yeah. So it's a fortunate place that we're in, especially because we can identify the talent that loves and seeks the Lord.

24:03You know, it's really interesting. I'm glad you brought that up. Here's a thought. I got this question one time. I was at another event. somebody says, Hey, what's the difference between a seven figure entrepreneur and an eight figure entrepreneur? And right. Your knee jerk reaction was, well, it's money, but it's, it's the same thing that happened when it's not money. Right. It's not even, it's not even, it's funny. My, my first mentor, the guy that gave me a second chance I didn't deserve. Um, he, he always told me the answer is always the way you think. Right. So there's truth in that too. Uh, even with what I'm about to share.

24:30But the other thing that came from that was seven figure entrepreneurs are always looking to earn. They're just earning, earning, earning, earning, earning, earning, earning, earning, earning. A figure and beyond are looking to compound. How do I make this one hour time turn into four? How do I make this$1 turn into a hundred? How do I make this one relationship turn into six? Yeah. That's why I podcast. That's why I create content. Yeah. Cause I, I have, I generate three to 400 ,000 views a day minimum. And it's like, where else can I do that? Yeah, that's right. That's right. I can't go talk to an individual.

25:05It's one to one, you know, talk three, 400 ,000 people a day, much easier. Yeah, for sure. Sit in front of a camera all day. Yeah. It's much easier to reach an audience. Well, and that, and you know, if you, if they say you attract who you are, so if there's, you know, but I've experienced you attract who you are, but historically, if you're attracting people you're going to serve, they're like three levels behind where you were. So like three years behind you. Yeah. Right. So whatever insight you're offering it's like you three years ago um one of the things i've that i used to say from stage all the time i don't say it as much anymore because it's said in 10 different ways by 10 different people when whatever was is the greatest purpose in life you ever have is serving the person you used to be but it's all the versions of yourself right the reason i create content right because i remember being the scared entrepreneur i remember trying to make payroll i remember having to fire somebody that i wasn't sure was going to take it very well or fire somebody I didn't want to fire.

25:57In California, nobody takes a will. Everybody goes and seeks unemployment in the lawsuit right after. Jeez. We have to look at your exit program. If you're in California and you're an entrepreneur, don't fire them. Well, so much for talking me into moving to California. They make it tough here. Yeah, yeah. But we work our way around. We outsource a lot. Yeah. Why do you build a good business? This company has thousands and thousands of people, but you know headquarters is x amount of people yeah but you know we're independent contractors nationwide and then yeah however many people overseas yeah which is like i can keep scaling it's it's as long as you have the the process the systems the culture and an integrated leader you can scale any damn thing that's right anything right i try to be super integrated i'm in the weeds yeah i'm in the weeds with my team now let me ask you you know you went through a lot of pain When do you think your pain turned into your calling?

26:56I think it's always turning into my calling. If I'm being honest, like if you're really serving the person you used to be and that you've done that numerous times, I believe in something called Life Gates. You ever heard the term Life Gates before? No. So there's a book written by a guy by the name of Tom Patterson. He created something called Life Plan. So if you did lifeplan.com, you'd find it. He's either passed away or he's in his 90s. He's like, he's, he's an older guy. He's one of the, I guess, co-inventors of the ATM machine. That's how long he's been around. He's a person of faith and he taught a principle called the, called the four domains, which is like spiritual, financial, emotional relationship.

27:34He's the one that I borrowed him and a good friend of mine, Chris LaCurdo. I borrowed a term that he called him the four helpfuls. People called it different things. I call it the questions of discernment. So anytime you're confused about what to do, you just sit down on a paper and pen and you, and you basically ask four questions, right? About anything in life. what's right, what's wrong, what's confusing and what's missing. And out of that, if you spend enough time to, you will get clarity just by that one exercise. It may not give you the exact next step, but it's going to say, Oh, I need to aim over here.

28:01Right. I say all that to say that he taught this principle called life gate. So when we are growing up, there's a first moment we take our first step. There's a first moment we ride our first bike. There's a first moment we kiss our first partner, right? There's all these different first, right? Those are considerably life gates. And for my, unfortunately in my case, it was my, it was the first time I got married. It was the first time I got divorced. I was like, you know, that kind of thing, right? Not so every, not every life gate is great. Um, but what the life of those life gates are really tough.