Natasha Graziano & Alisa Jacobs | Mindset, Brand & Feminine Leadership | Coffeez Ep. 302

27:10But if you allow AI to work for you and it's your intern or it's your rich, it's going to actually help everyone around you in corporations, in startups, and as solopreneurs. There's a lot of folks that don't have entire teams around them or even assistants. So if you're spending most of your time on either business development or admin, how are you doing your superpower? Whatever gives you your dopamine, whatever's making you your money, when is there time for that? That's the problem. Very well said. Very well said. Now, Natasha, I want to dive into what you're most known for, which is the MBS method.

27:45That's a combination of breathwork. That's a combination of the MBS method. That's a combination of breathwork, neuroscience, and subconscious reprogramming. I want to ask you, how did you come up with that? And how can the audience, the viewers, implement the MBS method in their life and take action on it today? Okay, so it stands for meditational behavioral synchronicity. I came up with it when I realized I have ADD. I cannot focus. I know you, you know. We all have ADD. The whole world now has ADD. Okay, so that's what I mean. I didn't want to medicate it. So I'm sitting there going, like I can't sit and meditate.

28:20How do I do that? And then I started to realize, well, hang on, I can meditate if I habit stack again using breath work first. So instead of doing real calm breathing, which worked for me until my brain went, oh squirrel like wake up you need to go and do this like suddenly it was like wait what are you cooking for the kids for dinner did you buy the steak that like all right okay wait wait there's add meditation strategies i got this is what i do for it and it works and it's worked for so many of my students okay so this is what you do instead of the calming breath work if you are someone who can't focus and you want to get that hit that high on your natural breath and it releases the dmt in your brain helping you to see all kinds of other things but most people don't realize how much their personal information is being bought and sold every day data brokers are making billions pulling details about you from public records and the internet and then packaging and selling it usually without your consent that's how your information lands in the hands of scammers, spammers, even stalkers.

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30:07Start your free trial today at aura.com slash remove. Protect yourself now at aura.com slash remove. So just enhance your focus, enhance your concentration, enhance your success, your visions, your visualization when you're there. So what we did was we created this thing which is what I did I would do heightened breath work like a Wim Hof style and then right and then holding the breath in a certain way and then releasing it and again now I'm really starting to feel calm now like your hands are tingling your body's tingling Wim Hof style without any ice water without any ice water and all the oxygen is going to every cell in your body and I'm feeling revitalized I'm feeling alive and now I'm feeling super high on my own breath naturally it's a good feeling okay always consult your doctor first and so when you feel really good and then you're like in this zone and then now press play on the meditation only after you've done that because you're literally in like a calm natural calm state now you meditate okay so you don't have to go through the what i was doing before which really is beautiful for when I go to sleep method you know calming breath work where I slowly naturally fall into a deeper state of mind where it's just a subconscious reprogramming tape I'm playing overnight this one is like a five or ten or twenty minute exercise usually around 11 minutes is like the peak and I've created them so you can go online you can type it into YouTube for free Natasha Graziano MBS method I think there's a few on there and you can literally do it you do the heightened breath work for about four to five minutes you can also do it for three and you're totally great on it then you do the meditation it's all inside that one tape we've put it all together and then it taps into neuroscience it taps into ancient wisdom all at that peak point a lot like my book and so what happens is your brain relaxes you start to manifest all the things you decide you start to think about all the things you want you have clarity of mind your brain waves are so much slower so one thought is prolonged have you ever meditated and like why am i only thinking about this one thought and it's taking five minutes amazing you're in the theta state when it goes that slow for one thought it's because you're in a deeper state of mind the brain waves get slower as we go deeper and deeper from beta where we are now through alpha and into theta as i was saying earlier and so when i'm there i'm visualizing my goal i'm visualizing the one thing i want to focus on during this meditation the solution to the problem which i want to overcome whatever it is where i'm focusing on more money i'm focusing more abundance i'm focusing on more health, whatever it is I'm focusing on.

32:41And then while you're in that state, then after you do affirmation as you're coming around, as you're coming back to beta state. So I'm imprinting it into my mind, rewiring my subconscious brain. If you do this for 21 days, you form a small habit. You do this for 66 days, form a large habit. So if you can do this every single day repetitively, that is what neuroscience is, repetition. So we can get this for free on YouTube. Guys, you got to check this out. I mean, I have a whole school for it. Like, not just for this. On school.com? That would be freaking awesome. What is that? That's where you launch a school.

33:14Is it? Yeah. We have a school as well. Guys, school.com, Coffees for Closers. Make sure you check it out. Wait, that's so cool. For real, for real. Yeah. How did I? I just totally pitched your thing. That's amazing. Yeah, so I have a school where we, inside of it, have workshops, courses, programs. A brick and mortar school? Uh-uh. Online. Oh, okay. It's called Scripting Society. Yeah, you've got to start a school. And we teach people all of these meditations. We teach people all of it. And inside of it, it's all on demand. So they go inside and they learn how to get an abundant mindset versus a lacking mindset.

33:44How to recreate their identity. How to become a magnetic identity and brand. And it's all these programs and subconscious reprogrammed meditations, courses, workshops, things that they can do to actually become that person. To become the version of them that they want to be. And then they get some coaching calls from me as well during it. It's the tools. It's a membership. It's so great. It's so cheap. people can just get my attention for like free almost. I love the reverse too of your breathing style when you're talking about ADHD or just being hyper-functioning in general. I did a self-discovery, excuse me, a self-discovery life mastery course for a while and was doing this practice for probably seven years.

34:23And I just recently started tapping into it again. It's very similar, but reversed. And I think from my mind, the reason I struggle with letting the passing clouds that are really fast slow down and be the one thought for a prolonged period is it starts with the relaxing side. Yes. And so for me, it's very similar in the deep kind of circular breathing and almost getting, it truly is a high state. Like it is actually creating more space in your body and more presence. And we're all just atoms, right? It's all frequency. It's just ours happen to be tighter together. But if you look around this room, there's more space than stuff, right?

34:58And so creating more space and more form in your body, when I said intuitive yoga, that comes out of, after this practice. And for me, it's doing kind of three minutes and then seven minutes of outside of my body and inside of my body breathing. But then the breath of fire, the, what is it called? The Wim Hof. Yes. Very similar. It's to create frequency and energy. So then when you're doing the affirmations, it really is integrations because it's programming your body mind, not your mind. Got it. And you get so much release that you will fall into splits. You will literally do backbends, your entire body releases.

35:33But I want to try the reverse because I feel like mentally I would probably move faster. Natasha, you build people. And Elisa, you build brands. Now, I want to talk about women in power in this society. Navigating through a male-dominated industry. There's power, credibility, navigating influence. What's your take on that? I think that it's not always about femininity or masculinity or male versus female. It's about environments. And are those environments safe and supportive and strategic in ways that everyone has a shot? I think in certain industries, no, we are not there yet. And it takes a lot of support and a lot of extra effort to even get a seat at the table or to step into power roles, right?

36:24But I do think that things are shifting and I do think that it comes down to credibility. It comes down to confidence too. The biggest piece that I've had to learn was, someone shared with me recently, no one's coming to save you. And it sounds, it always sounds very morbid, like, well, gee, thanks. But as women, we are growing up on Disney complex, which by the way, was totally toxic in hindsight. And we are growing up on the white knight. And I think in business, you don't always advocate for yourself. You don't always come in with a certain ferocity or readiness because men respectfully at 60 % feel like, okay, it's good enough.

37:01And most women until 98 % don't want to let that fly. And so whether it's advocating for your salary or your rate as an entrepreneur, whether it's the confidence to step into something that you've never stepped into. Natasha and I were talking about this earlier. Like I've always been a hard way learner. I learned to swim in the deep end literally, not metaphorically. I learned to ski on the black diamond literally, not metaphorically. every job I've ever had, I was either other only or youngest. And so I've never had a choice to have imposter complex, even when I did, because it was always sink or swim.

37:34And I think that allows you a certain level of not necessarily confidence, but capability where you just know it's going to be okay. You don't know how, you don't know when, you don't know where. For men, they're not required that same level of certainty. And so a lot of times growing up, and particularly white men in America, but globally in general, there's a more expected way, right? That you're supposed to be decisive, you're supposed to be confident, you're supposed to come in, which also isn't fair to men, because not every man is so sure and ready. And there has to be a bit of a balance.

38:08So I think that navigating that looks like, yes, acknowledging it, and making sure that you weaken your weaknesses and strengthen your strengths. But also, I don't want to say ignoring it, because you can't ignore it. But one of the things that we're also speaking to is you can either focus on what's working or focus on what's not working. And the more attention you give something, the more intention you have. And even if you are not complaining, you're talking about it. You're giving it life. You are literally clapping for Tinkerbell on what you don't want. And so the more that you can focus on what is working, what can solve, that you just leave that by the wayside.

38:44I do think that there's a huge element of just showing up every day and also requiring those around you to have a certain bar of capacity and competency and conviction that you have to be two times better, right? If you are not the norm, you have to be at least 10 times better for some, but at least two times better than your competitor. And that is just a reality. But if you go in knowing that you can be, that's really the deal maker and the game changer in a lot of ways. that level of confidence always levels people up yeah natasha i think in a world where it's male dominated everywhere you just gotta be a badass as a female you just gotta show up in the room and just be here well i've been on stage about to go on come out as soon as they say and it's a female and they can see a female walking on i have watched the back of the room turn around Some people start leaving the room.

39:39And the minute I come on that mic and I'm like, what's up, New York? Boom. They freeze frame. And I start talking and they turn. They slowly come back and sit down. Why? Because they see that a female with that kind of energy, okay, you got my attention. Or a female who's doing something different, you know, like you were just saying, she can get through in that market. I've only ever known it to be, I'm literally on stage sometimes, 10 men, I'm the only female. I'm just all I ever know. So I love advocating for more females to do what I do. I love helping people to grow their brands as a man or woman, whoever, unicorn.

40:16Grow your brand. Be what you are. Be the best at what you are. And even if you're in a dominated male industry, go out there and show up and just be a badass so that people don't say, oh, because she's a female or whatever. Just be the best at what you are. Don't train your brain to think, oh, I'm going to get less. No, I never got less. I get paid more than a man most times because I help people to become what they are born to be, to help them with their personal brand, to help them become a huge name in so many aspects, to help them to grow who they're meant to be and get out there online, be seen and heard with visibility.

40:51And so I never worry about being in a male dominated space. I just do this for everyone. I'm like, I'm going to show you that I can make a grown man cry with my voice on stage the same way I can make a man show up better than he's ever shown up online. I can make a female show up, however. It doesn't matter for me. Like I said, you can be a man, dolphin, iguana. Like, I don't care what you do. But you ladies are unicorns. Women just don't have that kind of confidence on stages. I haven't seen it other than you, you know, when I see you speak on stage. But it's not something that has been bred in society.

41:27And I think, you know, with your voice and the impact that you ladies have, the ability to make an influence, you know, you are changing and creating a cultural shift. Confidence is competence. Like you go out there and the reason that you shine is because you are great at what you do. The reason I'm so confident is not because I was necessarily born with it. It's because I created it. I knew that if I was the best of what I am, I'm so good at talking about my field. That is confidence. it's something where competence takes over so I could talk till the cows come home about certain things but don't ask me about politics because I'm not going to talk about it with confidence the same way that somebody who works in politics does what's your take I think that confidence and confidence are interchangeable confidence can breed confidence and confidence can breed confidence and I think you don't need to compete where you don't belong I'm never going to out man a man I'm a woman, but I'm also never going to shirk or shy away from my power or my purpose or my potential.

42:27And I've had it from both ways. I've had it from, I know I'm the most competent. I know I'm the best at what I do. So that confidence comes out of that. But as I said, I've also learned everything the hard way and everyone starts as an amateur. There is no OG, no success story, no affluent entrepreneur, no co-CEO or CEO or CMO that did not start in the figurative mailroom. Everyone started at the same place. So what is the difference between people that have this monumental trajectory or high success rate and winning streaks, as we were talking about in the car? It's truly confidence. And it's truly, you see the wins on the board and you keep winning.

43:05And I think that for me, there are times where my confidence bred confidence because I was just so convicted, I learned fast. And there's other times that I just had to be better than everyone else. And the reality is, it's truly your resilience. I think doing hard things breeds confidence and competency. I think when you do hard things, it's your prefrontal cortex. It's actually the only way that you can physically, physiologically, scientifically grow your brain as an adult is doing things you didn't think you could do. Facing hardships physically, a lot of times for men, it's physical challenges.

43:39And for women, it's things that you just feared and survived. So that resilience, I think, breeds an immense amount of confidence because most people have a 25 % success rate. Every actor, every musician, every entertainer, every successor you've ever heard. I actually had a really great conversation about this yesterday. And my friend was pulling up stats because I'm like, yeah, it's not 25 % for everyone. Literally pulled up Beyonce, Michael Jackson, anyone, every major athlete, anyone that you've ever glorified fails more than 75 % of the time. and we are such perfectionists as women and a lot of men too that we're so afraid of failure but those failures are just chinks in the armor they don't even mean anything and even in music if you have three singles that hit on a track of 12 to 15 songs it's a successful album most of your album flopped right and so I think having that fearlessness not absence of fear but ferocity in the face of fear allows you and affords you that level of conviction.

44:40And to your point, I really think that men don't always want to hear it from a woman, whatever the it is. And so you have to come with a level of expertise, authority, and build trust in a way that not everyone naturally will give you. It's earned. And I think that's okay. I don't think it's ideal, but I think it's okay. So it is how you build the trust with an audience too. The confidence that you exert and the decisiveness is also what makes a good leader because people want to follow a north star people naturally want to be led all of us it's like a relationship think about it like a man leads a relationship in the greek culture you know if you watch my big fat greek wedding the man is the head but the woman is the neck so we literally guide it but the man leads it's the same in business it's the same thing like the man wants to lead but he needs to be also guided by women.

45:30You bring up a really good point because this is a major debate right now is that women are losing their femininity. And that's because of this like, you know, this new culture of like becoming independent and you know, and you still one thing I admire about both of you, you guys are still very, very feminine. And that's refreshing. Appreciate that. Don't always feel that though, because you have to lean into your masculine for survival until you can release it. And so for me, I will say that like in my late 20s and early 30s, I felt like while I presented very feminine, I had to survive through being dominant and decisive and a little bit more gung-ho.

46:10And where feminine is different than female, and I think you can attest to this as well, is around allowance. As a man, you are, the masculinity in a man is seen as the dominance, the penetration, the go-get-it, the hunter. And as a woman, you have to do that because no one's coming to save you. And unless you are looking for a white knight or daddy warbucks and you actually want to have your own in addition to whoever you end up partnering with, nobody's going to save you. And so I think where you have to allow the feminine to come back in is the allowing, the magnetism that you talk about a lot as well is you can't magnetize to you if you're always pushing forward, right?

46:48If I threw a magnet against the refrigerator, it would not stick. I have to place it there and that's where I think there's an opportunity to allow more and to create more femininity and what's so interesting to me about the romantic part of it that you were saying with relationships one of the things I researched recently was everyone always goes back to the biblical the man is supposed to be the head of the wife right or the head of the household but actually in Greek this is a Greek language component head never meant the head of the neck or the head at the top. It was the head of the river or the water, which is the source.

47:23It's the life source. And so for a woman to be able to have the vibration, the river, the flow, it starts with that source from the man. It's not necessarily dominance or submission. It's actually collaboration. And I think that can actually translate really beautifully to relationships and business where you can both be the best at what you're being. And that's why I say you don't need to compete where you don't belong. you need to actually lean into feminine leadership which is less nearsighted which is very collaborative which can balance really well and we all have masculine and feminine right but I do believe perhaps controversially that a woman at her best is leaning into her feminine if you're you know traditionally heterosexual etc blah blah but like I think you you operate your best at your most natural state.

48:14And I think a man operates at his best when he's able to be in that natural state. And that's where I think in business, we need to partner more and figure that out. Okay, ladies, we're heading into the final segment. So this is your opportunity to promote whatever projects, whatever book, whatever shows you're working on, and just tell the audience what's new in your world. Okay, amazing. I would just say to everybody, follow me at natashagraziano.com like just my instagram natashagraziano it's the same thing everywhere if you want to dm me i love your dms reach out to me connect with me if you want to know about becoming a magnetic identity and brand it's my favorite thing to do for people helping them be seen feel that confidence within their fire within their soul to go out there and just be seen with visibility that's how i built my following to 22 million people is through understanding the power of visibility and how to be seen online.

49:10And like you say, having the CEO identity, having that before anything else, people buy from people. And that is where it's at. So I'm right now excited about my book, which is always out there. You can get that everywhere online, bookstores and everywhere that you buy books, be it till you become it. And that one is actually for you. Oh, thank you so much. Of course. So you can get your own one. I'll sign it if you're after the show. Oh, awesome. Is it on Audible by chance? Of course. The Oudible took me like 18 hours to record. It was so long. I was going to say, don't waste that voice. Yeah, that was big.

49:43So we did that. But yeah, I'm excited about all the things we have coming up this year. My scripting society is helping so many people and I just love it. I love pouring in and helping people to build who they are in the mindset and then in the brand. Love it. And what about yourself? I would love to connect. I am at Ginger Jacobs, G-I-N-G-E-R-J-A-C-O-B-S on Instagram and any other social media. My agency is called Loop Studios. That's loopstudios.com, L-O-O-P-S-T-U-D-I-O-S. But we are Loop Says on Instagram, L-O-O-P-S-A-Y-S. My business partner and I have really been at the forefront of the shifting market with agency world.

50:24And so I'm really excited and proud of some of the pivots we've been making, not only with AI empowerment and augmentation, but also really leaning in on what we do best. While it's a full-stack marketing agency and we offer strategy and PR and events and founder development and things like that, content, we're the best at the intersection, truly. And it's an incredible place to be when you have such a vast network of trusted individuals. And so we've really leaned into collaboration and content and focusing on partnerships and IP development because you have to be able to own. And that is something, whether we are advising and consulting major brands or founders that is allowed to be more project-based too.

51:02So we were always very heavy on like the traditional advertising agency style of the big box retainers and I love that we're now more accessible for project basis and different kinds of formats. On a personal level, I'm really excited about getting more in the film space and doing my first projects in animated production and packaging for major feature films and being able to lean back into my creative as a storyteller and to get back in front of the camera, get back on stages and get back into those kind of writers rooms and creative worlds that I feel like I let lie dormant for a little bit.

51:36So I don't know if that's promotion but it's certainly my excitement and purpose right now. Well that's what it's about. Whatever you're excited about, whatever is your purpose, let the world know. Now we're gonna get into a brand new and very fun segment. The first time we've ever done this. I'm really really excited to do it with the both of you. Yay. I'm excited and I don't know what it is. Meredith, can you please bring the paddles? Here's the rules. Be fast, be witty, and more than three red flags and your application is denied. Oh my God. This is like being in a relationship. Yep. Let's get into it.

52:12If you get three red flags, they're out. That's right. Oh my God. They're out. So I kind of read through these and there's a lot of red flags here, in my opinion. So we just raise it, Whether it's green or red. Yeah, exactly. All right. So here's the rules. Zero to two red flags, approved. Over three red flags, conditionally approved. Conditionally approved on three red flags? Honey, you're out if you have three red flags in my world. So it's strange. You know, mine too. More than four red flags, and their application is absolutely denied. Oof, nine lives of the cat here. I would not give nine lives.

52:49You're out really for me, like one, two, third time? Bye, baby. Yeah, you're going to... Back to your mama. The bags are already packed at that point. Ciao. Okay, first one. First date is at Erewhon. Oh, my God, I have a date at Erewhon today. Oh, my God. That's actually crazy, isn't it? That's wild. That is, you know, serendipitous. Y 'all are probably, by the time this shows up, seeing it everywhere online. That's so funny. I'm so sorry to interrupt the game. Number two. Yeah. They asked to split a bill on the first date. If they ask me, it's a red flag. But I don't really... They still follow their ex on Instagram.

53:31Fuck no. Oh, wow. Hard pass. But by the way, I just want to follow with that. If you follow your ex and then suddenly you unfollow in a relationship, this is what happens to the girl. She says this. Oh, I'm so important. Look, my ex's new girlfriend made him unfollow me. And then as soon as they break up, I get followed again. So it's a really touchy subject. Really, you need to just unfollow before me. I was going to say, that's the life hack. You should not be still following them in the first place. We shouldn't be having that conversation in the first place. All right, so we're red. Next thing, they call themselves a serial entrepreneur.

54:09That's great. Okay, perfect. All right. If it's true. They have a roommate. Depends on your age and stage, but at this big age. I mean, the guys you're dating, if they have a roommate. No, I'm saying if you're in college. The only roommate you should have is me. That part. Literally, I should be your only roommate. Well, let's get to know our candidates. Same answers. High credit score, weak communication. What do you mean? High credit score is, yeah. But weak communication is low. But they're weak communicators. No, I'm not dating yet. So do you care if they got a good credit score, but they communicate?

54:45Oh, I see what you mean. We need both. You need both. Oh, I don't give a fuck. Red flag, okay. High net worth, emotionally unavailable. Oh, you really went to the ATM. Red flag. Only just though, because I'm being PC today. No comment. Ask me on another day. Can closed deals? Can't commit. Massive red flag. This is easy. Stable portfolio, unstable personality. Just because you can doesn't mean you should. knows how to invest doesn't know how to invest in people alright round three this is the underwriting stage that was the round two which is what we just finished was the loan disclosure stage this is the underwriting stage love it here okay this is more of an in-depth review of each candidate so let's see if they meet your standards successful but never available red flag I'm gonna give that a tentative green flag never is a hard word.

55:45But if you're dating someone highly successful, they're not going to be as available unless they're already on the second half of their success. It's a low green flag, but that's workable. They cancel last minute, but always have a good excuse. Oh, God, no. Red, ciao, good night. You know before it's last night. I've already met someone else. They say they want a relationship, but don't make time for it. lots of red flags here highly driven but work always comes first green your purpose should be your career I should not be your purpose I want to see you as the most ambitious guy whatever you do whether you're a salesperson or whether you do anything you should be the most ambitious guy in the room I absolutely love it we can build a brand together and make millions love it love it okay you feel the chemistry but something feels off My intuition is off the fucking charts.

56:45Snap. All right. Bonus round. The rate lock round. This is not a red flag, green flag. This is just answer. Broke but passionately creative versus wealthy but unavailable. Oh, God, that's so hard. I need available. Just whatever. Just be available. So you'll take broke and passionately creative. It depends if you were a billionaire and became broke. Like, can you make it back? I also think it's, what's your ambition with that passionate creativity? Because if you're broke in this season, but you have the bounce back game and you're incredibly entrepreneurial and enterprising, your capacity is uncapped.

57:25That's right. If you're going to be broke and stay broke, you can stay over there. Meredith, what about you? Broke, but passionately creative versus wealthy, but unavailable. I really like the, are you a billionaire and then lost it? I think that really, you know, but honestly, broke is fine for me. as long as they're not a shitty person. If they're working towards something, like if they're growing now for like growing, you know, eventually they're going to be fine. But no like lazy sitting on the couch. So would you pay for him? Like if he was broke, would you like help him? Been there. Yes, same.

57:57Twice. I was a sugar mom. If there's going to be success and like I actually believe it, then yeah. But like if I'm like, uh, you know, then probably not. Oh my God, I would never be broke again. I think I need to listen to you guys. I'm allergic to broke. No. Well, when you fuck around and find out that it's not about you, it's about what they need. 10 out of 10, don't recommend. Ladies, thank you so much. That was our game. It's been wonderful having you on the show. You really have changed my mindset in many, many ways and elevated me. Folks, if there is a friend or someone who comes to mind that you think this episode will help them or change their mind or elevate them, make sure you share and share it right now.

58:37Thank you so much for tuning in. Ladies, thank you so much for coming on the show. I look forward to having you guys. It's been absolutely a pleasure to have on the show. God bless you both. Thank you. Back at you.

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