Chapter 24 - Caves and Cacti

0:01That's the sound of zero sugar, 200 milligrams of caffeine, and the power to burn body fat. Storm, energy for life Storm Energy Blend helps boost metabolism which in combination with exercise and a healthy diet helps burn fat This product alone does not produce weight loss, individual results may vary Chronic migraine, 15 or more headache days a month each lasting 4 hours or more can make me feel like a spectator in my own life Botox, onabotulinum toxin A prevents headaches in adults with chronic migraine It's not for those with 14 or fewer headache days a month It's the number one prescribed branded chronic migraine preventive treatment Prescription Botox is injected by your doctor Effects of Botox may spread hours to weeks after injection, causing serious symptoms.

0:39Allerge your doctor right away as difficulty swallowing, speaking, breathing, eye problems, or muscle weakness can be signs of a life-threatening condition. Patients with these conditions before injection are at highest risk. Side effects may include allergic reactions, neck and injection site pain, fatigue, and headache. Allergic reactions can include rash, welts, asthma symptoms, and dizziness. Don't receive Botox if there's a skin infection. Tell your doctor your medical history, muscle or nerve conditions, including ALS Lou Gehrig's disease, myasthenia gravis or Lambert-Eaton syndrome, and medications, including botulinum toxins, as these may increase the risk of serious side effects.

1:09Why wait? Ask your doctor, visit BotoxChronicMigraine.com, or call 1-800-44-BOTOX to learn more. Hi friends, it's Jared. So glad to have you back for Chapter 24 of Desert Skies. Before starting today's episode, I want to take a moment to thank everyone who joined Club 86 since the last episode was published.

1:52Bobby Joe, Pollo Soup, Gage, False Grandiose, Caleb Blackburn, Megan Norlin, Tom Dinger, Jennifer Myers, Anastasia Tishkovich, Dr. Zach, Catherine Jeter, and Marie King. Thank you so much for joining. You're a big part of making Desert Skies happen. If you too would like to join Club 86, it's a great way to support Desert Skies. And depending on the tier you join at, you can get new episodes when they're available, access to exclusive episodes, and mini-series, including Game Night and The Grief Train. You can also get ad-free episodes, a burrito cookbook, commentaries, and more. Just visit patreon.com forward slash desert skies, or find the link in the show notes below.

2:40And with that, enjoy Chapter 24, Caves and Cacti. For the best listening experience, headphones are recommended.

3:05Okay, that's enough. I was enjoying that. I'll let you listen long enough. You guys okay back there? Yeah, Mac, we're good. Can you turn up the air a little? It's kind of warm back here. Yep. No, not that much. I'm freezing. Okay, turning down. Freezing up there, maybe. Not back here. Okay, I'm turning it back up. And I'm turning it back down.

3:34Corson, I'm going to say this once. One time. That's it. And I never want to have to say this again. Well, say it already. There are three things one must never do to a Mac. A Mac? Take a Mac's hat off. Pull a Mac's beard. Or touch a Mac's buttons. These buttons. When you're driving, you can control the instrument panel, the radio, the climate control, anything you'd like. But when I'm driving, this, all of this, is Mac's land. You want to adjust your own seat? Your own vent? That's fine. Because that's no max land. Why are you being so aggressive about this? Corson, you're getting off lucky. I let him take me for a drive in my old Buick once, and when I adjusted the fan, he...

4:29Aw, come on. Are we still talking about this? What did he do? He broke my finger. Not on purpose. Why are you still bringing this up? Oh, because you broke my finger. Mac, I'm not going to touch your things anymore. But if I accidentally do, I should warn you. What? Break my finger, and I will end your miserable existence. Okay, okay, that's enough, boys. Mac, can we get back to driving? I'd like to get to wherever we're going. Where are we going, Cash? I don't know. Really? I know you don't want to tell us anything, so I won't ask again, but... No, I'm telling the truth. I really don't know exactly where we're going.

5:20I thought you said the answer was out here somewhere. Where? My guess is as good as yours, Corson. I'm sure the answer will come to us in time. And until then, we just do what we're doing. Which is what exactly? Getting refined. I feel like I was already fine. I don't need refining. Like, what could I do better? Well, to start with, maybe don't break your best friend's finger. Tindy, I swear I will turn this car around. So, how does this work, Cash? Is there a list of challenges we have to overcome? A specific number of stops along the way that we have to visit? As to how it works, I can't say that I fully understand.

6:02I helped rebuild the highway after it was destroyed. I spent a lot of time with the Prime Mover. I asked him the same questions. How is it that the astral plane changes a person into the person they're supposed to be? And what did he say? First, he said that it doesn't change a person into the person they're supposed to be. Rather, it helps them to become the fullness of the person they already are. As for how it happens, he said... Well, he said that it's up to the astral plane. No two trips are the same. What happens is what needs to happen. Oh, I don't like that at all. Why's that? Well, what about the rules?

6:47The rules? The instructions. I like instructions. I need instructions. I'm sorry, Corson. This isn't a game. Oh, hey, I love this song. Not while we're having a serious conversation. Let go of his finger, Mac.

7:42You're lucky Tindy stopped me. You entered a max land, buddy. No, you're lucky. Lucky I'm so remarkably gracious and forgiving. You promise you're not going to shoot at me with lightning when we get out of this car. Not even a small one, cause man, you know I can't control myself sometimes. I told you to stay out of Mac territory. Uh, Corson? Aren't you gonna say something? Pull over. Come on, man, I said I was sorry. Pull over. Alright, man.

8:22What's he doing? Corson, I'm sorry. Physical violence is kind of my thing, and while it's often been played to provide some comic relief in tense situations, I can see how in retrospect my actions... I guess what I'm saying is, please don't strike me down with lightning. I'm not going to strike you down with lightning, Mac. You're not. No, I'm not. For one thing, a lightning strike isn't a fair return for something as trivial as a sore finger. But also... Corson, I've lost my powers. You've lost your what? I thought maybe it was temporary at first. But it's been so long now when I handed my responsibilities over to Orlinus.

9:15I ceased being a sphere mover. I must have also given up my powers. But why? How could that happen? You just gave him a job. Some, perhaps all sphere movers, have gifts. Gifts that other astral spirits do not. Who knows? Maybe your leaners can make it rain now. Good for him. But you told us the reason you weren't using your powers is because you needed a break. And then after a while I asked again and you said it's because rain would make weeds grow in the desert sphere. And then when I asked again... I lied, Mac. I lied. I specifically remember you saying that you don't lie. Oh, well. Maybe when I lost my powers, I also lost my ability to tell the truth.

10:09I wasn't saying... I'm sorry, Corson. Sorry you lost your powers. He didn't. What do you mean? He didn't lose his powers. But how can you know that? I can. Corson, you didn't lose your powers. Cush, my dear. You are mistaken. See? Let it rain. Let the wind blow. Let lightning strike back down. Let's not play around, man. No reason to worry. There's nothing there anymore. I'm just... I'm just, well, I don't know what I am. I'm not a sphere mover. I have no powers to set me apart. Corson, trust me. You didn't lose your powers. How do you know? One of the gifts that comes with an unbound soul is that you can see things.

11:04Things an optical sensor or a set of human eyes can't. And I'm telling you, you haven't lost your powers. I haven't. No. You lost something else. Which is? Your identity. Your sense of self. That's preposterous. I have an identity. I'm Corson, player of games. And, and... Oh, God. What am I? You're our friend. Our good friend. A damn good one. Uh, does that help? Why not? I need someone to tell me what I am. Who I am. A good friend, perhaps, for all of eternity. I was something more. I was Corson. Corson, leader of the ever-stormy eight sphere. He who struck fear in the hearts of travelers and astral beings alike, whose powers over the forces of nature were unmatched.

12:18Stories of me abound on the astral plane. I was the stuff of legend. And now, now, I'm a small business owner. And a damn good one, I think. You never really got to... Corson, where are you going? Let him go. I'm sure it wasn't easy for him to tell us he lost his powers. It's not that big a deal. He should know we still love him. No matter what. To you, it's not a big deal. Well, yeah. I mean, it's just rain. It's not everything. Do you remember the time Wei Wei dared you to let that Gila monster bite you? Oh, you're talking about Calvin. Yeah, he bit me real hard. Good times. You were frozen by it.

13:08At first, you thought it was funny. Yeah, I remember. I made that joke about feeling like one of those special edition Lex Luger WWF Superstars ice cream bars that we got at the station. All muscly and stuff. And frozen. Yeah, and Wei Wei told you that when the paralysis were off, you wouldn't be strong anymore. Yeah, that was funny. You cried like a baby. You swore that whenever the effects of the venom ended, you were going to eat that Gila monster to get your strength back. What's your point? Mac, his point is that you find your identity, at least a big part of it, in how strong you are. Imagine losing it.

13:51Okay. Imagining. Damn. How long do we let Corson go before we get worried? What if he gets lost? Corson has walked the plane more than any of us. He's too clever to get lost. But that doesn't mean we shouldn't be concerned. What do you mean? When we rebuilt the highway, we constructed a number of exits to areas of interest. The ones that seemed most likely to help travelers. We also deconstructed some exits. The ones that had led to places that had perhaps outlived their usefulness. Or maybe had never been useful at all. Such as? Look the direction Corson headed. That small mountain. Are those lights?

14:34What is it, Cash? What are we looking at? That, Tendi, is the Electric Desert. What in the sphere is this place? The last thing you need right now. What makes you say that? Come on, Corson. Let's go back to the car. I don't want to go back to the car. Not yet. Tell me what this place is. They call it the Electric Desert. An apt name. It's... It's beautiful. That it is, but... I'm no expert. I don't think these cacti are real. Oh, really? What makes you say that, Mac? Come on, Tan, look at them. They're not made of cactus. They're made out of neon tubes. I love neon. Love it so much I tried drinking it one time.

15:24Neon is a gas. I know, Cash. That's why I said tried. Cash, sweetie, Corson's old enough to know what it is you're trying to shield him from. He's a big boy. What's the scoop on this place? Touch one. I've touched cacti before, Cash. It's surprisingly not a pleasant experience. These don't hurt, Mac. Give it a try. Okay, let's see. Greetings, traveler. I'm a barrel cactus. Yep, I know. I am unique. My water storing capabilities are unmatched. Because of my unique design, I can store large amounts of water, which makes me near impervious to seasons of drought. Well, right on. What makes you unique?

16:10I'm strong. Look at these guns. It doesn't hear or see you, Mac. These are automated messages. They're meant to elicit reflection. To what end? To help a traveler learn what makes them unique among humans. Isn't that exactly what Corson needs? No. It is exactly what I need. If I can figure out what makes me unique, then perhaps I can get my powers back. Then try it, but... Greetings, traveler. I'm an organ-pop cactus. I produce a fruit that has been prized by humans for generations. It is sweet and nutritious. Unique. What is it that makes you unique? Well, I enjoy games. Lots of people enjoy games.

16:57Mac. What? Oh, duh. Corson, you do like games. More than anybody. You're also a really sharp dresser. Clothes aren't me, are they? See? This is why we didn't build an exit to this place. It's not helpful. It turns out it hurt more people than it helped. So many people spent their whole lives trying to find out what made them unique. And it almost always comes down to what they have, how they look, what they do for work. Not who they are. And how they relate to others. For a number of travelers, all this place does is prolong the occupation with uniqueness. It produces existential dread. Oh, well then.

17:45Come on. Let's return to the car. Not before I try some of this delicious organ pipe cactus fruit. Mac, that fruit isn't real. It's just gla - Oh, damn. It's just glass. You broke it. At least no one will be fooled by it again. I made it better. Safer. Yeah, keep telling yourself that. I knew you guys were going to be trouble from the moment I saw you. Vandalism? Really? What are you? A gang? We're not a gang. Well, actually, Tendi, according to the definition of the word, we could be considered a gang. Got it, Cash. Sir, we're not a gang. We're just a group of friends traveling the astral plane together.

18:29On an adventure. I remember you. I remember both of you. You were the ones who told me I was dead. That sucked. You also gave me burritos. Those were good. You got any on you? Uh, no. You said you know us. Sorry, friend. Can't place you. My name's... Arnold. Ar-Arnie. You're Arnie Tipton. You remember me? Of course I do. You must have a pretty good memory. That was a long time ago. Well, you were only my fourth traveler and... Well... Well, what? You... No. No, I don't. What are you talking about? Well, the way you died. Kind of hard to forget. Oh, that's right. Now I remember. What? What did this human do?

19:15He, uh... It's not funny, Mac. I remember this. It isn't funny. What was it? I slipped on something. That's not especially interesting. That's not the whole story. It's just the beginning. Here, let me tell it. If I remember correctly, you slipped on an ice cube from someone spilled drink at the mall. Right? Yeah, that's the story. I'm not done. Slipped on an ice cube, causing him to slide around a bit before falling backwards and into a clown. Okay, this is getting better. The clown was doing balloon animals for kiddos. Well, this was the second story of them all. At the balcony overlooking the atrium, an Arnie here hit the clown so hard that he flipped over the edge.

20:06Did the clown survive? Oh, he did. He landed in the fountain, banged up a little but no worse for wear. But how did the boy die? Well, you see, the mall cop comes to the aid of the clown, and as he's taking him out of the fountain, he smells alcohol on the clown's breath. So the clown gets fired for drinking on the job. But how did Arnie here die? Well, the clown was pretty upset. One day he's out running errands. He sees Arnie here. His anger is kindled. followed Arnie home, Mac, and the clown murders him. Was he dressed as a clown when he did it? Yes. No. But, uh... Did he strangle him with a balloon animal or something?

20:55Yeah. No. Wait, what? I could have swore. Well, in retrospect, maybe I filled in some of the details on my own. But still, the murderer was a clown. I mean, makeup or not, you gotta... Why are y 'all staring at me? Somebody please laugh. Laugh, please. This feels bad. Good. Arnie, you left the station so long ago. It's been ages. You only made it this far? Well, yeah, kinda. After I stopped here, I got back in my car and tried to keep going. But I couldn't. I had to come back here. Why? Because I never figured out the answer. The answer to what? What makes me unique. See, this is exactly what I'm saying.

21:47This is what this place results in. So, what are you going to do to fix it? Fix what? You know, the organ pipe cactus you just broke. I need it. I need all of these. How am I supposed to figure it out? If I don't have all the pieces? I can't go down the road like this. Just a nobody with nothing to offer the next life. Something has to make me unique. Right? Uh, you're unique. I mean, you got murdered by a clown. Mac! You don't have to stay here. This place was a mistake. Trying to figure out what makes you unique, it's a losing game. You're fine just the way you are. Nobody is that special, not really.

22:26I'm sorry. Who are you? Oh, that's Cash. She's the talking cash register that you met back at the station. You remember? This is her human body. That's probably confusing. But you see, she can make her soul go wherever she wants. Oh, you're unique. Well, I'm... And you too? Well, you're set apart, aren't you? You welcome people to the afterlife, and you work on the cars, the ones the dead people drive across the astral plane. That makes you guys pretty unique. I mean, Mac's not really the mechanic anymore. And who are you? I am Nani. And I'm assuming you're something special? No. Yes. Yes, I am.

23:07And you. That's Corson. He's a sphere mover. Well, I was. I was a sphere mover. And what are you now? I'm nobody. Really? You can't think of one thing that makes you special? He can make it rain. I could make it rain. I can't anymore. I overheard you earlier. You like games? I do. What kind of games? All kinds of games. That doesn't make you special. No, it doesn't. Yeah, I like games too. I love them. In fact, they're my favorite thing. Really? It's my favorite thing. You wouldn't happen to have any with you, would you? I do, actually. In the car. Really? What are they? Well, there's Corsinopoly.

24:01You mean Monopoly. No, I don't. Corsinopoly. There's also Don't Wake Corson. Settlers of Corson. I've never heard of these. Oh, well, there's a reason for that. I make them myself. You make your own games? I make my own games. Do you really? Yeah. With what? Well, you see that little building over there? It's a gift shop. They got a small cafe, too. A cafe? Are there any snacks? Sorry, no snacks. Not anymore. I finished those off ages ago. Selfish. So selfish. But there's an endless amount of coffee. Craming sugar. That is also gone. Man, I hate black coffee. Would you like to come and see some of the games I've made?

24:49That sounds fun. We'd love to. Actually, guys, I think we should stay here. Maybe we can find a way to fix this cactus. We're not in a rush, Cash. We can - I think we should stay here. Corson, you go. You're the one who loves games, but Mac we can use your help go on Corson. We got this Are you sure you don't want to we got this have fun very well come on you're gonna love this But I wanted to go I think I know how I can fix this I'll be right back Well, are you gonna go? Oh? She's doing the empty eye thing. She looks dead zombie-esque Mac, what are you doing? What does it look like I'm doing?

25:35It looks like you're shoving her fingers in her ears. Yeah, she's poseable now. Find the vacation you're looking for in Missouri. Whether you're searching for this, wanting something like this. Oh, that's cute. Maybe up for something like this. Or just really, really need something more like this. you'll find the vacation you want in missouri missouri it's the getaway that gets you plan your fun at visitmo.com leaders aren't born they are made and they're made like everything else through hard work well the chevy silverado was made for hard work and designed to handle the big jobs with over 13 000 pounds of towing capacity and trailering sway control chevy Silverado can haul the biggest loads on the toughest roads.

26:29It's a true workhorse. Now's the perfect time to check out Chevy's current offers, service specials, and to schedule a test drive at your Chicagoland and Northwest Indiana Chevy dealers. Chevy Drives Chicago. Okay, this is the souvenir shop. What is its purpose? You don't know what a souvenir shop is? I know what a souvenir is. I keep one in my pocket at all times. But what is a souvenir shop? You know, a souvenir shop. A place where people can buy useless crap. Except, I guess here, you can't buy it. They just give it to you. Or they did, back when people used to come here. What's the point of a traveler taking a souvenir if they're just going to leave it behind when they enter the next life?

27:19What was the point of buying souvenirs on the physical plane? When we knew we'd leave them behind? When we died? Huh? Cause buying crap is fun! I see. So, for the fun of it. For the fun of it. Anyways, I'm glad they had this shop because it provided a wealth of useful this's and that's that could be put to good use for games. Explain. Well, you got these little cacti figurines painted like they're neon. These make perfect chess pieces, or you can use them as player tokens in something like Monopoly. You enjoy those games? Yeah, of course I do. But, uh, those aren't exactly the kind of games that make for good solo play.

28:00Not to say that I haven't tried. I know what you mean. I do enjoy a few rounds of solitaire, but competing against others is always more entertaining. That is if you can find someone willing to play with you. But that's never been my strong suit. Have you tried imprisoning them? Ha! Ha ha! Anyways, they got playing cards here with different spheres on them. They got maps that make for decent battle mats. Battle mat? Yeah, for Dungeons and Dragons. Dungeons and Dragons. I know that game. I've tried to recreate it, but never with much success. Why's that? It's too unpredictable. I enjoy games with clearly defined rules and required actions.

28:54Dungeons & Dragons has rules. There's like huge books full of them. It also requires more than its fair share of improvisation. Creativity. You don't consider yourself creative? I mean, look at your outfit. It's awesome. Clothes are not games. You want to see my collection? I would love to. So, this is the cafe. It's where I keep them. Bless my bitchy stars! Yeah, it's beautiful, isn't it? So every table has one of my games completely set up and ready to go. I've just been waiting for someone to play with. There are so many. Let's see. Oh yes, I know that one. And that one. And I don't recognize this one.

29:41What is it based on? It's not based on anything. It's just an idea I had. You designed your own game. Yeah, it's not hard. Once you've played enough games, you get a knack for mechanics, and then you can make what you want. Easy. Anyone can do it. I don't believe that's true. What is this one called? This one is called Books by its Cover. How is it played? Well, ideally you have at least three players, but more is better. One player pulls from this deck with a list of famous book names. Grapes of Wrath, Great Expectations, and of Green Gables. Do you read? Um, Instructions, yes. Huh. Well, anyways, that player reads the card, doesn't show anyone, then they draw a picture and the other players have to guess the name of the book.

30:36The person drawing can't talk. They can't put words on their drawing. We don't really have any clocks here, but I made this makeshift hourglass with a couple light bulbs and some tape. I drew these lines on it. See? That is genius. Thank you. I'm quite proud of this one. So anyways, if a player guesses the artist book, before the sand gets here, three points are awarded to the artist and the player who guessed correctly. Here, it's two. Then one point. Then it runs out. No points. first player to 30 points wins. Oh my, that is amazing. I mean, that kind of pulls from a couple games, Pictionary being one, but I like literature.