Ashley Cain On Fighting Back From The Brink, and Masculinity's Biggest Lie!

27:27Rob:So I'm not bothered about no finish lines or no like medals or no certificates. The one proud moment of my life is when everyone thought I couldn't, I could.

27:38Ashley Cain:Would you say you're a man on a mission?

27:41Rob:no doubt i mean you've got that energy about you no doubt 100 i've got someone to be and i've got places to go you know he's a really one day i was listening to um i was listening to like a it's like a motivational clip on instagram it was denzel washington and he was talking about you know the scariest place to be is you know on your deathbed surrounded by all the ghosts of the things that you didn't achieve and the potential that you didn't reach, right? And then I was on the way to my nan's house, imagine. And I got to my nan's house and it must've been the Commonwealth Games that was on. And my nan said to me, she was like, oh, I wish I'd have learned how to swim.

28:27Rob:And like, it's the weirdest things that hit you the most, right? And it hit me like a ton of bricks. I just thought, poof. And I started getting scared. You know how people think about death and they get scared? that what she said scared me because I thought you know my nan is a truly incredible lady you know she turned 90 the other day looked after me better than anybody could have looked after me you know true matriarch old school brilliant and there's so many things when I look at my nan that she didn't do or hasn't done or will never be able to do and I thought if I'm sitting there when I'm like of an age where I cannot no longer learn a new skill or cannot go out there to do something that I wanted to do that would be even scarier than death itself so from that moment on I just decided that every single thing that I wanted to do or had a dream about doing or something that turned me on I would fucking pursue it and I'd achieve it whether I kept on with it is a different story but for me it's never about that it's about the challenge i love a challenge and i i love conquering fears i love stepping outside of my comfort zone i love doing things that people don't think that i'd be able to do or people don't think a human being could do and i like doing it and i found a system in doing that will you share the system in a bit you tell us what it is oh it's not that profound it's just like it's just like you just gotta fucking go for it okay and and also So I don't, for me personally, I don't believe in this thing where, you know, people say, if you've got a dream, keep it to yourself.

30:04Rob:Like, if I could think of the most - Who says that? A lot of people, a lot of people say -

30:09Ashley Cain:That sounds like a fear-based statement to me. Of course. I'm scared of people judging it. Surely you tell the whole fucking world and then you're accountable. Of course.

30:15Rob:This is the thing. I could have the most ridiculous thing that I could sit here and think of today when I talk to you, when I would say it on this podcast and everyone's like, what the fuck are you doing, Ash? All right. Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah. But then I think - But that's how you put things into reality. exactly put it out into reality don't and don't be afraid of it don't don't the dream might be scary it might be big you know people might judge you on it don't be afraid of it don't do combat that demon straight away i'll just put it out there then every single day i work backwards from it till the point when you get there you're like wow i knew it was gonna happen i already i already knew before i finished it a lot of the time before i achieve something i get bored of it because i already know i already know that i'm on the money then then when i cross the line or when I achieve it I'm already bored I'm already on to the next thing I could cross the line already be starting my next thing because I'm like I knew this this was going to happen because you know if you want to achieve something in a lot of people Rob yeah I think I bet you hear it a lot of people I want to do this I would love to do that yeah and then I just think bullshit yeah if you really wanted to you'd have already done it well you it's not about already you've doing it it's just about you I look at your life you've told me the patterns of your life you told me your habits you tell me what you do to on a day-to-day basis and nothing in there factors in the thing that you want to do and when I tell you to do the thing that you want to do it's too hard or you haven't got time you know I remember when I was doing this this last challenge Rob yeah you know you got you know you got kids you got businesses you you're in the foundation you're Fucking pre-production for a fucking show, flying abroad recce in, yeah?

31:55Rob:And I'm training like three to seven hours a day, six to seven days a week. I just had to fucking sleep less. Yeah. You know, you're getting back from London after a whole, getting up at 4am to train before London, going to London, coming back, and then taking my, in the winter, taking my boat out to a fucking canal at 12 o 'clock at night to paddle till 6am in the morning. Two hours sleep, back with the next day to start the day. That's me wanting to do something. Do you know what I mean? choosing to sleep in my garden in a fucking tent rather than sleep in my house because I had to get used to the cold, had to get used to being uncomfortable, had to get used to this being routine.

32:31Rob:Like I know what it's like to want to do something. I know what it's like to be out in the scene, you're nearly losing your life and then you have to get back in the next day and get back in the next day and get back in the next day. 79 days back to back, you know, paddling for fucking 20 hours a day, fucking grizzly bears tracking you alongside. Like I know what it means to do something so then i just think not everybody's meant to do something i just got to the reality that not everybody is meant to be what they want to be not everybody's meant to do something we have like a thing these days with social media where everybody can see like how green the landscape can be so people go i want to do that you don't you absolutely don't you you are probably not capable and I like to throw that gauntlet down to people I like to go no you don't no you can't not everybody's meant to because then you can see who fucking can because some people will go you're fucking wrong and then you see what people are made of because it takes it takes so like I was interested to come and meet you today yeah because I watch your videos and I love what you've built like you have a quality like I have many qualities that you don't have but you have many qualities that I don't have.

33:45Rob:And there's certain things from you that I would love to learn in order to make my life better. Like you could help me improve my situation for my kids and my family. So I was willing to come here today. I wanted to come here today because it's an exceptional person I'm sitting across that's doing really well for themselves. I want to learn. So I won't fuck about with that. So I just, like I'm quite like, I'm quite, I'm a townie Rob, yeah? Like I was brought up in a town, yeah? I'm a townie yeah I ain't gonna try I remember that I ain't gonna try and pretend to be anything else yeah but one thing that I am is I fucking go in and when I go in I'm all in and then when I'm all in I usually do what I set out to do because I'm relentless yeah I make up I make up for what I lack in probably you know my brain or knowledge with just being relentless and pushing

34:37Ashley Cain:through with it so for quite a lot of people are you a bit too intense do people find you a bit too intense are you a bit much for some people yeah i bet you love that don't you nah do you know what

34:54Rob:do you know why i don't yeah because like honestly it's a very conscious thought yeah like i literally make a conscious effort every single day to leave people better off after they've met me than before they met me. I'm the kind of guy that walks around the supermarket, yeah? And I'm like, how you doing? You're right. Hey, I'm going to the kids, you know, I'm that kind of person. I'm a very interactive person because I believe in you receive back what you give. I believe that you can create a whole environment. You know, if I go on a holiday to a nice family resort and it could be like tempo, I could go, I could literally create 250 people to be having the best time of their life just through little actions throughout the day I understand the power in that I like to be light I look at certain situations I've been in in my life and certain people that I've been around here and I think of who I like being around and I'm like if I can make a little bit of effort now to in to better someone else's day that's what I want so when I only have only have good intentions I find it difficult to process why some people can't see it that way and you know it so I I want to be liked but I understand that my intensity comes from passion and if I'm passionate about you if I'm passionate about something my intensity level just goes through the roof because I understand what needs to be done and I don't want to take my hand off you till what you need or what you want or what you believe in is in front of you and has anyone ever tried to sort of take advantage of that yeah loads of people do but that's life isn't it you know I just believe in that's life I'm so emotional And I have so much heart In the things that I believe That I need to yeah But I just take my emotion Out of the other shit I understand that people Are going to use me I understand that Throughout my life I'm going to use people As long as we can be mutual in it That's fine And if we're not And I'm getting The piss taken out of me I don't have any problem In just cutting it off And moving on to the next It's completely fine But I think a lot of people get too emotional about relationships I always say like in relationships in friendships in you know marriages in in anything that you have in business yeah it's not about trying to preserve what you have it's not about always working on how you can keep what you have and being scared at the eventuality that it could break up or that it could stop and losing yourself in that process it's about being brave enough that if your boundaries are crossed to be able to let go and I'll be I've become good in that like when I know that my intentions are good and when I know that my intentions are pure and when I know who I am and where my heart is I've got no problem that if it gets too far just going maybe we just step in different directions now

37:51Ashley Cain:Right now we have a banking crisis, a potential global recession. If you'd like to learn how to cash in on the crash and not just survive, but thrive in challenging times, I invite you to join us at the Moneymaker Summit Live. The link is robmore.live forward slash money. I'm subsidizing a small number of tickets from my Rob Moore Foundation. Or for a very small upgrade fee, you can get special VIP tickets where you meet me personally. You'll get your book signed. There's VIP dinner with six multimillionaires and bonus money mindset sessions, as well as the special three days on getting your tax bill down, your income streams up, my eight stages of building wealth, my formula for riches and much more content at robmore.live forward slash money.

38:39Ashley Cain:The agenda, the details, the dates and the speakers are all at the link robmore.live forward slash money. So I'm 47. I've been in business 20 years. And at times, I find myself hardened to things. So you know, like you get the calluses on your hands from all the training. And sometimes I'm like, I've just become hard and cold because of everything I've had to defend. You know, we have a team of lawyers, we deal with big property projects, you just have it's all it can be transactional. how do you still stay heart led and optimistic when people could be trying to fuck you everywhere life can grind you down you can become hard I think it's I think it's tough because I think

39:24Rob:like everything in life you can either go left or you can go right it's about finding the balance my biggest argument with myself on a day-to-day basis is that I'm too soft I'm I'm fucking terrible at business because I'm too heart led all the time so much so that I'd prefer to take less and give the other person more just to relinquish the problem I'm that kind of person and then I have this debate with myself every single day to be more shrewd to be more of a shark to be harder because it's hard to find that balance and I'll give I'll give you an example yeah and hopefully this kind of explains it I'm going to completely take it away from what you said but it's hopefully it means something in the long run after losing my daughter all I had was pain I had anger so what I chose to do was put that into these incredible challenges that I'd done but in a way that was easy because I woke up every single morning thinking about being a savage I just thought if it hurts fucking good if it's hard fucking brilliant if it breaks me you better fucking try hard you know I mean and I was just ruthless and I was just relentless and I was just this machine this juggernaut that goes in one direction an unstoppable immovable force of nature and then I started to build parts of my life back you know where I where you know I started you know going into business again I started going into television again I started working with brands again I started going to all these different facets right And I thought I need to use my mind again.

41:02Rob:So the other side took a bit of an impact because when you're just like pushing and breaking yourself and pushing and breaking yourself and pushing and breaking yourself, it takes your bandwidth because your bandwidth just becomes on being fucking numb to everything that hurts. So all of a sudden I've got to open my mind and then I'm trying to be like, you know, good at business, good at what I do. So then I'm using my mind for that. So then I've got these two different directions that I'm trying to spread myself over, which is very tough. Then not one child came into the mix, but two children came into the mix.

41:36Rob:And now I'm trying to be a good daddy. A daddy that's present. A daddy that wakes up to their kids in the morning. A daddy that talks to them in at night. A daddy that, you know, is around them all the time. That third direction, it makes everything fucking impossible. I can't be really tough. I can't be really loving. And I can't be a shark. like all at once. So there's got to be a compromise. And I have the battle myself every single day, Rob, because of my intensity, what you say. I know my intentions aren't bad, but because I'm very intense, I have to have this battle, like, am I too intense?

42:10Rob:Am I affecting other people because they say they want what I want, but then they can't match the level that I want to go at to achieve it? And then am I forcing things on them? Am I like not bullying them, but am I putting pressure on them because I'm ready to run through that wall right now. And it's a battle that I have. So I was going to ask you that question today. Yeah.

42:33Ashley Cain:So I don't pretend to have, you know, everything in life down and be perfect at everything. I don't spend all day every day with my children, but I like the dad I am and I like how I treat them. and I think that the person I am, they like and respect as well as love. So I feel proud of that and I think having an amazing partner is really important. So, you know, my wife takes a lot more of the sort of day-to-day looking after the kids because she wants to because that's her area of value and she's like, there's your spear, there's your shield, off you go. I love that. And, you know, and I feel, you know, I think when I first was with my wife and then sort of had my kids in the early days, I used to be a bit like, fucking all the school fees, the Amex bills, you know.

43:34Ashley Cain:A friend of mine says to his wife, look, the credit card, no limit, is a limit, not a target. You know, I just felt like everyone's fucking spending my money. I've got 100 and odd staff here. I feel like everyone fucking spends my money. I look after everyone. I pay for everything all the time. everyone. And I did get to a point where I'm like, fucking hell, I'm doing all this. And everyone's taking off me. And then I just had a moment where I'm like, no, no, no, I get to do all this. And everyone else is getting the benefit. So for me, it's not just about time with your kids. It's the relationship you have with them.

44:10Ashley Cain:So therefore, I can go out of the house with my spear and my shield, knowing that it's okay that I didn't have to didn't get to tuck my kids in or wake them up in the morning. So that's one thing. The next thing in business, I am a people pleasing conflict avoider by nature of when I was young. I was the fattest kid in school. I was always trying to sort of avoid conflict by being friends with everyone. I was friends with all the different groups, just so I could be liked, so that we won't call me a fat cunt and all the shit that they used to say. And, you know, kids can be like, they would say that when you're 11.

44:45Ashley Cain:So I was always like, Everyone like Rob. You know, he's safe. You know, girls like him as a friend, not, you know, like that, because, you know, he's fat. So I developed these coping mechanisms. They are coping mechanisms. You know, avoiding conflict and being like means I'm not alone. People aren't hating on me. But then that is still me. But I learned that, okay, we're going to do a deal. We'll have a chat and we'll shake hands, but then we'll get the lawyers involved and the lawyers can deal with all of that. And then if you're trying to push my boundary a bit, I'm going to find a really nice, articulate way to tell you that that's my boundary.

45:26Ashley Cain:I'm not going to lose my shit. I'm not going to be a child. I'm going to fucking square up to you. Just going to let you know that, you know, I'm cool there, but I'm not cool there. And that's hard for me is that people pleasing conflict avoider. So I learned conflict. I know a lot of people in business who are ruining business because they're losing their shit all the time or they're acting like the fucking boss I've got a guy that works for me and he says Rob, you have never told everyone to get the fuck out of your office you know, if I was the boss, at least once a year just because I could, I'd tell everyone to get the fuck out of my office because he obviously watched too many fucking TV shows like, you know, these fucking American TV shows never shouted at anyone in the office never lost my shit with anyone in the office never brought a problem to the office You know, I might be like on someone.

46:14Ashley Cain:You know, that's a fucking deadline. You hit that deadline. But I've never brought my shit into the office once. And again, I'm really proud of that. So I think you can be a nice person, heart-led, kind of naturally sort of conflict avoider, but you just find a really good way of articulating that like, nah, not beyond that. So these are just some of the things I've learned. I think, you know, if you like the person you're becoming, I think that's the start of everything. Because I notice when, like, people criticise me or there's loads of shit that they say about me online, if I've, like, got pretty good self-worth, none of that.

46:56Ashley Cain:Like, the armour is so thick. It's like a fucking rhino. But if I've failed myself and I've let myself down... You become susceptible. Well, yeah, but because they're fucking right. Right. Well, they're not right if it's defamation or if they're not speaking the truth. But sometimes those comments are right.

47:13Rob:Yeah.

47:13Ashley Cain:Because you because, you know. So, yeah, I just think, you know, I agree with you on working on yourself every day. But maybe have you thought about getting a business partner?

47:22Rob:Yeah, I mean, I mean, I've got like a few different ones in the different things. Can you leave them to all the shit that you. yeah but I guess I guess me there's a lot of things that I like evolving in if I if I like it I like it you know I don't tend to do anything that I don't like you know so if I like it I like it then have involvement in it and I and I think the thing is as well Rob yeah like um I'd still say like I'm new to all of this stuff so I'm still trying to learn one thing about me is I'm very capable i'm extremely capable but like you look at my life and all the different things i've done and all the different things i've been through you'd be like fucking out like for me to be here now it's pretty cool like doing all the shit i'm doing so i'm still trying to learn and i believe that this is just the beginning i'm 35 years old yeah so i believe that i've got a long ass road in this to keep getting better and to keep progressing and to keep you know strengthening in my armory and my artillery and you know my arsenal into like fucking unbelievable levels but you know i know that it's a work in progress and i'm just like i'm trying to work very hard at it i'm trying to be clever along the way and i'm also trying to be humble you know in in the things i achieve and grateful but not too grateful where i'm like oh it's fine now just more grateful than like oh i'm glad that i'm here now onto the next step but i agree what you said you know what with the fatherhood thing i agree with what you said I think it's really important yeah because I look back at my upbringing yeah and like I never you see my dad that much yeah he was he was doing this thing my dad was a really tough man a really hard man a really respected man where we were but I didn't see much of him when I did see him it could be like in a situation that I shouldn't have been in you know what I mean I bet you loved it like a bit of a mad situation like you know like I'd you know me and my mom would be like shit dad's getting about running upstairs like this.

49:14Rob:And then we'd be like, you know, I'll be trying to get on the toilet before I go to bed. And next week my dad's running in the bathroom and he's had half his nose cut off and all this madness, yeah? But he was a really good man. Like he loves his kids. He found it really difficult to be able to express emotion. But I knew that he loved us and I knew that we always looked after, yeah? My point being though, my dad was always the pinnacle of health. He was always fit. He was always strong. his appearance was always amazing his work ethic my dad I don't think he's missed a day of work since he started working when he was 14 and now he's 64 not missed a day yeah he's not the kind of guy that it's like dad you know you work for a company you know if you had like two weeks off you know you still get paid no he can't do it so his work ethic was phenomenal he worked two jobs he worked three jobs yeah he was very tidy immaculate like he had standards he always had standards standards yeah and i'm like and i look at it now and i'm like i always strive to be better than him wow i strive to be like him i wanted to be i wanted to be a physical specimen i wanted to be a hard worker i wanted to always look smart and i'm like that what's in 64 you'd think he was 40 40 years old max now so i'm thinking well i wouldn't have got the same i wouldn't have got the same qualities i've got now if he was just a bum sitting at home cuddling me all day yeah he gave me a standard to live up to or to surpass yeah and I think that's really important as a father that's why you know I've set myself you know goals of like now going to the 2030 winter olympics and I'm thinking why just 2030 why not 2034 why not 2038 I want my kids to visually see greatness or what greatness looks like I want my kids to see me in my peak in my prime so as well as looking after them and being present with them they can see you know what a goal that they should be able to you know to to attain so i think that's important yeah so um

51:21Ashley Cain:the the thing i've found the hardest i think as a parent is you love your kids and there's there's a a father daughter love that unless you've experienced it you it's just unique i'm not saying it's better than a son it's unique 100 as you know um but the way i see it is if you don't give your kids challenge then the world's gonna have to do it yeah so i think the thing i found hardest as a parent is okay because my wife's very hands-on which is great but i'm like just just let him go to school and he's fucking not done his homework and let him get bollocked. And then he'll find out. Then he won't, you know, but she's not there trying to help him.

52:07Ashley Cain:Bobby, do your homework. Bobby, do your homework. And so I think it's the balance of, cause I think sort of old school fathers, like our fathers and fathers' fathers, they were good. Right, son, get the fuck out. You know, you're 11, get the fuck out. And maybe a bit too much the other way at times. But that's another thing about sort of the guilt of not being with your kids all the time is that, you know, they have to sort their own shit out themselves. So my daughter had a couple of issues with not quite bullying, but nearly there. And of course, I was like, right, I'm fucking going down to school.

52:45Ashley Cain:That's the worst thing you can do. You don't go down to school. You teach your daughter to go sort her problems out herself. And that's, or your son. That's a completely different thing. So standing back and letting him, like you said, when your son falls over, all right, you want to go pick him up and hug him, but no, no, you're getting up first.

53:09Rob:Well, this is one thing I noticed. It's a really interesting thing. My mum, my mum's a really beautiful person, really beautiful person. She just has this like caring and nurturing kind of quality where like everybody's more important than her. you know, and all she's wanted to be is a grandmother. And, you know, losing Azalea really impacted my mom because her whole life was, you know, her dream and her goal was being a grandmother. Do you know what I mean? So now I've got my two boys. It's just like, that's it. And they absolutely love her. I mean, my oldest son is just like, it's her above anyone else.

53:52Rob:You know what I mean? Yeah. Above anyone else. the only the only kind of like caveat is and the only issue is you see the behavior shift with that so you know being a parent like it's so easy to like be like yo you want chocolate have chocolate you want this have this yeah yeah this but if if he's with me at my house zero problems doesn't cry doesn't whinge doesn't moan it's not like we're doing fun things all the time i just make him a part of like the day-to-day existence yes daddy no daddy sorry daddy yeah falls down oh silly daddy cool the moment he sees my mom try and tell him to do something he just looks at her as in like no grandma you know he so I love the relationship I love that he has that but then I also look and I'm like you know like fundamentally like sometimes it isn't about like catering for everything that they want it's about providing the environment where they have like boundaries they have standards they have like things to uphold and then sometimes it it actually makes them happier because i think if he if he could choose anyone to be with in the whole universe he'd run to her every time over me and his mom yeah but then when i look at him and he's like whinging a lot and he's like what's the snuggle to sit down i'm like is he happy or is he happy when he's happy when he's with me just running around taking on the world i don't know do you know what i mean well maybe he needs both yeah make both yeah it's a good happy it's a good balance yeah i think it's an absolute gift if um a

55:25Ashley Cain:child has grandparents in their life the best and um like the the grandparent relationship is also very unique and um you know i know my wife and i know many mums they like have a lot of guilt around oh no no babysitters or the modern ones are a bit more outsourcing parenting which i don't think is good but um but no you want to get your I think you want to get your kids with your grandparents

55:48Rob:as much as possible I mean I was allowed to eat 16 chocolate bars a day I mean I'm I'm an strong advocate for being my grandparents you know what I mean that like my grandma was like yeah

55:59Ashley Cain:the biggest neighbor ever it was great one day they won't have them anymore yeah 100 % and they'll miss those days. Yeah. Yeah, but parenting is hard, and running a business, and trying to be the best version of yourself and trying to be fit and strong, because I'm 47, a bit older than you. So yeah, I don't maybe have the same sort of testosterone as you or this is pretty good. You know, I try and keep up on my boxing all the time. I think it's really important. You know, if you've built some level of success, just keep investing back into yourself. So I've got two boxing coaches, I pay them good money, they come to my house at seven in the morning, if one bails on me, I phone the other one up, if it's raining, we go in the garage, if it's not raining, we do it on my drive, I don't need a fucking fancy boxing gym, I don't need a load of fucking, you know, a good pair of gloves and a good coach, so I pay for that, I always do courses and education, I'm reading books and listening to podcasts all the time, invest in the people I hang around with, Really, this show, what, 10 years old, this show, 1 ,300-odd episodes, billions of views with the clips as well, billions, but the best thing about it is the people you meet because, you know, that's the asset.

57:16Ashley Cain:Yeah, so because when you get a good team around you, a good lawyer, good broker, good babysitter, good coach, good mentor everything else and you know I think that's the best reason to be rich you know I like fancy things I've got lots of cars and all of that but actually the best reason to be rich is to get a load of good people around you so you've got a team of accountability there because not everyone is you know channeling hard pain like you you know some people have had a pretty easy upbringing and they haven't got that pain and so things are just too easy and that's where I think you need to get people your circle what is it they say if you don't have a circle you have a cage so the circle of people around you holding you accountable as well is it holding you accountable

58:06Rob:or is it as well like i mean i guess success success is determined in a lot of different ways yeah like you know for me i see success is as being able to do all the things i want to do freely yeah so don't which takes a lot of money so yeah it's expensive but also but also like Like, you know, what you need to do is time. So all of those people around you as well, they help your time be as efficient as possible. And they help your time be your time more so than your time being everything else that you don't really want to be doing.

58:38Ashley Cain:Yeah, they definitely save your time, like brokers, finances, accountants, all of that. But also it's accountability. Like sometimes you don't want to fucking train, but you're the easiest person to lie to yourself. I know you don't much, but a lot of people are like, well, you know, oh, they tell me you should rest a bit more. I'll just take a day off today. But if you've paid your coach up front, booked him in, and he's in the car on the way, you have to show up.

59:08Rob:Financial accountability is something that I don't really have and I need to have more. You know, that, I guess, I guess it's through not being educated in that. And, you know, when I left school, I became a professional footballer. and then that was it like i actually got accepted into a really good economics college i left school with 14 gcses you know done four a year early got really good grades yeah but then you know when you go to football they're like no you can't go to that college you got to do a btech diploma in sport so left school went to being a footballer and then my career ended early you know i had five reconstructive surgeries and then I was done yeah but then I had no no further education no work experience yeah absolutely nothing so I've gone into this world then you know so I think I could definitely manage my money better I could definitely you know put my money into better things that bring me more money back but I guess I'm I'm still learning that part I've had so many things to navigate in my life that you know that part has always been just a bit of a byproduct because one thing I've always been good at is making it.

1:00:17Rob:I just don't know. It's just the next step to then making that good money into great money, into long money.

1:00:26Ashley Cain:To me, it's outrageous that there's talent like you in this country and we're not teaching people this stuff. Like at school, you should be taught this stuff, how to invest your money for the long term. It's actually not that difficult. But they don't want you to, do they? Well, no. They don't want you to.

1:00:41Rob:I mean, I don't want to get into politics, but yeah.

1:00:44Ashley Cain:No, they don't.

1:00:45Rob:That's one thing I do know, yeah.

1:00:46Ashley Cain:Yeah, but that's part of my mission, is to help as many people on the planet get better financial knowledge. So there's plenty of people like you with raw talent and great at something and great at, like you said, making the money or great at a sport or got some genius. But having a genius and then making money for the long term so you can give back and live a wealthy life, that that's that's a unicorn because it's just not taught I know you know so many people come to me famous people many who want to be remain anonymous because they're that famous like huge names going um Rob we can't speak out and say what you say online but I can tell you that you know I made 400 million and lost it all or um you know I don't really know what to do with my money I make all this money and I don't know what to do with it, what should I do with it?

1:01:44Ashley Cain:Surely this country, I know you didn't want to do politics, but surely this country would economically grow if we just taught everyone how to economically grow. Why should we hide it from everyone? I think... You'd be a fucking zillionaire by now if you were taught... You got 14 GCSEs a year earlier, you're smart, and yet you don't know how to manage your money because you're not taught. Exactly. And your parents don't know because they don't know what they don't know.

1:02:08Rob:But that's exactly it. That's criminal. That's exactly it. But the thing is, Rob, I used to make money in school. What I mean by that is, like, I used to make money while I was at school by hustling. Yeah. I've always not like, if you just took anything away from me now, then like by next week, I'd be like surviving, doing something else. And I guess the most demotivating thing for me and what's took my spark is because, you know, it's like being an entrepreneur. Yeah, I've made, I can't say, I can't say opposite you and say a lot of money. But yeah, well, in comparison, I've made, you know, really good amounts of money.

1:02:48Rob:I've lost a lot of money, made good amounts of money, lost a lot of money. and it becomes demotivated for me because it's never being able to make the money it's never you could give me 20 different things and i'll make i'll make them make money it's about i hit a ceiling with with where i'll go from there why should why should anyone be deprived this knowledge yeah did that come you know you said that you know you were fat in school and people used to die you know target you and that do you think do you think myself so hard But do you think a part of that, you know, do you think a part of who you are now came as a result of that?

1:03:25Ashley Cain:Yeah.

1:03:26Rob:You know, the reading, the studying, the navigating the system, you know, to how you were going to best survive. You're like, it's all survival, yeah? Yeah. Do you think a lot of that was that?

1:03:36Ashley Cain:Yeah, I remember, like, I used to phone my mum and cry to her every weekend. But then when she handed the phone over to dad, I'd sort myself out and not let him hear me cry. So I don't think he really knew how – because they sent me to boarding school. I fucking hated it. I felt so lonely. And I managed to – I begged my mum and I got my mum to work on my dad because the only person that could convince my dad anything was my mum. And they moved me to a new school. And it was when you went from junior to senior. And so – because I was at private schools, you had nine weeks holiday. So I was like, I'm going to fucking be – I'm going to spend nine weeks eating nothing.

1:04:17Ashley Cain:and like training every day. And then I'm going to go to this new school as a skinny kid, not a fat kid. And I did. I ate 300 calories every three days. That's all I ate. And like my dad's like, what the fuck? This is really not healthy. But I was like, yeah, but I'm losing weight. I'm feeling good. Anyway, so going to the new school. I'm a skinny kid, not a fat kid. Girls actually like me now. This is fucking hell. I lost all the weight and none of the emotional baggage. it's just all still there um i'm like i think i'm like you in the sense that if someone says to me oh you can't do that i'm like thank you because now i'm going to go and do it and i'm going to do it even better than you said that i could do it um and the more they tell me i can't you know i used to be like oh fuck you i'm gonna go show you but i just don't say anything now because as wasted energy yeah it's just like you use it internalize it yeah and you're just like if i want to do it and you said i can't that's just fuel for me yeah but yeah that comes from trying to prove to people that i'm worthy of being a friend of theirs when i was the fat kid so yeah it's just of course it's all there um and you know i i like you i'm not super pushy on people getting therapy but I have had some therapy more as like a an experiment to see if it's useful I'll do a marketing course to see if I can learn some tips on marketing I'll do a finance course and also get a couple of therapists and see if they can teach I'm not going to like overthink it just like you know they might be able to teach me some tips one of the therapists said to me Rob there's a child and an adult in every person and that really helped me because the child is still there and And for years, I hated that.

1:06:06Ashley Cain:I hated who I was. And my therapist would be like, you know, what would you say to you? If you, the child, were there now, what would you say to him? And I'd say, well, I'd just be embarrassed. I'd be ashamed. And she was like, but he's just a young, vulnerable boy. If it was another boy that wasn't your you, if it was your son, how would you feel? I'd be like, I'd love him if it was my son. But I hated him because it was me. so she taught me the difference between the child and the adult and so now you know let's say you upset me or you said something that cut or whatever I would feel the child in me but I'd also be able to be an adult yeah and just you know smile and say thank you for your feedback and get my head down and get to work so yeah I lost all the weight and didn't lose any of the baggage but I learned that that's just that's the child in me and you know one thing that sort of upsets me because I I love helping entrepreneurs.

1:07:01Ashley Cain:And what happens is entrepreneurship is hard and you have a challenge and then you just fucking crack. And when you crack and you lose your shit, that's when your child comes out and you act like a fucking child. We've all done it. I try and do it behind closed doors or around someone that, you know, I'm safe with. I don't want the world to see that. But I think that's when we ruin our lives, in those fucking 10 seconds, you know, when we lose our shit. So imagine if you just like could just hold that in, that, you know, that shame and that vulnerability and that feeling exposed and weak and not knowing what to do.

1:07:41Ashley Cain:Because there's a lot, especially men, there's a lot of men that are just like lashing out in those little moments and ruining their life. Yeah, 100%.

1:07:52Rob:That's what I've got good at doing it. because I think, you know, for me, like, since being a kid, I just had to fight all the time, all the time. You know, my school was like, you know, I'd be like 13 and, like, there'd be kids that left school, pull up in cars with, like, hammers and tasers, man. Wow. You're like, so I was just, like, fighting all the time and then you don't... I used to go home to my nan and granddads and I didn't want to tell my nan and granddad and then I had this, like, figure of a man as my dad and I used to see what he used to go through and I was like I don't even really want to tell my dad like this is a problem I remember one day like this is my dad's reaction somebody who had left school someone was probably about 19 years old and I'm like 14 rang my house phone to tell me that tomorrow I was getting it and I was kind of a bit like nervy on the phone my dad said who was that and I went oh it's this guy he said this and my dad said tell you how you gonna fucking knock him out then my dad didn't go like oh yeah I'll be there at school the next day he was just like tell you how you gonna fucking knock him out then and I'm saying it then I'm like shit I've gotta go to school like this the next day but you told him you're going to knock him out yeah by the way if you're ever going to knock

1:08:55Ashley Cain:anyone out don't tell him you're going to knock them out it's like say nothing then knock them

1:08:59Rob:out but then I got to the point where like I began getting a bit bigger I began to like have my own network and then you know and I've had the times in my life where I've been chaotic I've been destructive I've done all these things and now I'm kind of like I understand that I have a lot of anger in me I have a lot of fire in me I have a lot of ferocity in me and and the best way that I can go about my life is managing that and tunneling it into something that's positive. Yeah. Because like my chaos ain't a few nasty words. My chaos could be like, you know, part of this building coming down. So we just like, you know, I'll go to the Yukon for a couple of weeks kayaking, get rid of that and I'll come back all zend up.

1:09:46Ashley Cain:What is the biggest lie about masculinity?

1:09:49Rob:Well, you know what it is? when I think of what it is to be a man, I always think of the warrior in the garden. I think it's being competent. I think it's being capable and having that hinge where you are a potential ferocious monster, but you choose to live in this garden and pring your flowers, you know. I think the biggest lie about masculinity is that it's a threat and a danger to society. I think it's a steward to society. I think it helps police society. I think it helps keep society safe and intact. And I think, you know, people who are anti-masculine use masculinity to weaponize an agenda when I don't think that's the case.

1:10:33Rob:I actually feel quite offended a lot of the time because for me, I would say that I'm a masculine man. And me being a masculine man means that I'm capable of extreme violence, but never ever use it. It means that I'm a provider. It means I'm a protector. It means that when I'm in an environment, and I hope that it's a safer environment than if I wasn't in it. I think that my masculinity brings love, it brings care, it brings joy, it brings inspiration, it brings aspiration, it brings a value of, it brings a value of worth and trust and this accommodating value. So I just feel offended when people try and, you know, slander masculinity and say that it's a threat because nothing but good things come from my values of masculinity.

1:11:21Rob:So that's what I would say is the biggest lie, you know, because any kind of dangerous people out there who are men aren't the masculine ones that I see. What are they then? What are they?

1:11:33Ashley Cain:Yeah. If they're not the masculine ones, what are they?

1:11:36Rob:It also depends on what the person is saying about masculinity. I'm seeing, you know, but I don't see a masculine man as a danger to society. Like, I don't see it as a danger to society. I think that masculine men are somewhat protected of society. Do you know what I mean?

1:11:55Ashley Cain:Yeah. Do you think society's become a bit emasculated recently? Yeah. Do you think that's part of problems in society? Like.

1:12:07Rob:Well, I think sometimes. Do we miss the old school strong leaders? I think we miss the old school strong leaders, but I think a lot of it is down to societal push as well. You know, there's a lot of things that, you know, I don't like the fact of there could be an incident involving a man. So then it's men are dangerous. And it's like, well, you know, not all men are dangerous really. You know, when you see certain incidents, what percentage of men, you know, and then people look for men to help in those situations people look for men to stand up in those situations so then it's not all men are bad and especially the masculine men that you're looking to for help in these situations or to steward these situations aren't bad people are they so i'll just think of like i think there's a danger in this aspect when people are targeting masculinity in a way that they're targeting targeting it which is causing causing more of a divide than it is a unity in being able to both you know live in like this nice coexistence so you save lives but who saves yours i guess the the good people around me that have to put up with me i don't you know physically necessarily need my life saving but i guess having a great family around me and great people around me that just enable me to be me speak when I have problems celebrate when things go well get around me when maybe I'm not feeling the best is all that I need um so yeah I think it's my family and the good people around me I think you know when you're on this mission sometimes and you know you're the one that feels like you're going through the battle and you're the one that feels like you're going through the war and you feel like you're taking all these hits you forget how much or how important a great supportive network behind you really is because maybe it's just that you need to turn back for a second and just say I'm struggling today and so I'll go you'll be all right you can go power forward you know I always I always remember yeah that there was one time yeah and I was I was training for it it might have been the Yukon where I had to kayak from Canada to Alaska a thousand miles through the Arctic Circle and supported yeah and had to do a lot of sea paddling i was going in the sea in the winter and when i'm saying it was freezing rob yeah and we're just getting chucked out we're getting chucked out because we have we have to try and roll the boats and whatever and i remember just not being able to get it because i wasn't a kayaker at the time and i remember just feeling like so exhausted and so tired and and as well i thought you know if i go out there i'm probably going to lose my life because i i feel like i haven't got it yet i don't know if i've got what it takes i don't know if if I'm strong enough at the minute.

1:14:48Rob:And then we're just calling my mom on the way back. And I was just hoping that my mom was going to say, it's all right. It's all right, darling. You don't have to do it. And my mom went, come on, come on. She went, this is nothing compared to what you've been through before. She's like, you have conquered way tougher things than this. You've been through way more than this. You can do it, yeah. And she said a lot more than that. It was one of the most inspirational speeches I'd ever heard. But my mom has never said an inspirational speech ever She's never been hard on me ever She never gave me tough love She's always enabled me to be like, it's okay And she gave me that talk, right?

1:15:26Rob:And then after that, I just realized I can do absolutely fucking anything Because she believed in me I don't think that I need saving anymore, Rob I think what helps me keep going is people believing in me The people that I love and that I care about and that belief saves me. That belief that when I'm weak, that when I'm feeling weak or maybe when I'm not up to it, the people that I love and care about believe that I can be better, believe that I can always achieve it, believe I can keep moving forward, believe that I'm strong enough, that I'm talented enough, that my heart is big enough, that I have enough will, enough relentlessness to pursue it.

1:16:06Rob:And I think that love and support that I've had has really been a massive helping hand. I've got an incredible family, you know, and that saves me also one huge thing that saves me is that north star which is my daughter you know like I understand the struggles that she had I understand everything that she went through I understand how dark and how bleak that life can be and every time when I feel like that things are too much I revert back to those times and I understand that I can get through it so I've got a lot of incredible things that save me a lot of profound things that save me but I think it all comes from love in the end because look because love for me Robbie and not in not in a real cheesy way people say to me like oh you know you're you're so brave yeah and I'm like I'm not people go you're strong I'm not the people go you're so resilient I'm not I'm not like I just really love her I really love my boys I really love my family so then I know what lengths I'll go to in order to preserve all of this and that's what my quality is it's not to do with being brave or relentless it's just that like when I choose to do the things I do I choose to do them for a reason everything I do is for a reason and because I know how strongly I feel about my reason, there's no task that's too difficult to pursue for that reason, for that purpose.

1:17:39Ashley Cain:What one thing do you think most people are not grateful for enough? The moment.

1:17:51Rob:On a level, again, I don't even want to sound cheesy, but like every day is like Christmas day if you decide to see it that way and if you decide to pursue your day that way you know when I wake up in the morning I look and I'm you know do I want a bigger house yeah but am I really happy how do I feel when I got the house I got I was like ah this is absolutely amazing you know then I'll go into my I could go into one or two rooms I could go into my kids rooms and they're either awake waiting for me to get them up or they're still snoring but they're They're happy They're healthy That's amazing You know I'll go to my phone And there's Missed calls And messages Of opportunities That I've not yet pursued There's opportunity There's money there There's success there There's greatness there All for me to To decide When to make it all happen Good relationships around me Good people that I love That are still alive That I'm still blessed With their presence Every single day Like in that present moment there is no fucking problems there is no threat of danger there is no stress so I think the moment is one thing that we're not grateful for enough because I know what it's like not to be safe I know that it's what it's like to have my life at risk I know what it's like to hold the person I love the most my child and she takes her last breaths and leaves this world and joins the next so when none of this is happening and you look around and everything that you wanted is within your twitching distance fuck me the moment's a beautiful thing you know as i sit here with you now yeah why would i not be grateful for this moment i've got no stress in this moment i'm sat next to a really successful person that wanted to invite me down to speak on his podcast i'm gonna learn something from this moment it's an opportunity for me to to grow my audience and my followers and hopefully some things I say will impact people to make better decisions in their lives it's a great time do you know I mean I'm going to go on the way home and work on my my businesses and even things I see things right yeah even when things aren't good or something bad is looming over me I'm like if I'll have this many hours in a day to make that a better situation so it's great because we could be in situations in life where there's fuck all that we can do about the situation that we're in or we've got fuck all around us to be grateful for but when so many people in this country and so many people in this world do have a beautiful situation right in front of them what's not to be grateful for and when you've got opportunities to preserve that situation or to progress that situation that's a beautiful thing but nothing in 99 of the moments that we have in a day are immediate danger to us or immediate stress to us then so enjoy it

1:20:55Ashley Cain:you know when you're freezing in the kayak and you've been there for hours and you know you've got hours to go and days to go and weeks and months to go what conversation are you having with yourself in your head?

1:21:10Rob:It's fucking horrible, you know. Do you know what the worst part is? Do you know what the worst part? It's when you just start, yeah. Because it's always, yeah, things go through my head, yeah. And I think you're that geared up, you train that hard, and you're that geared up by the time that you start, that you're like, I just need to fucking get this done now. I just need to get this finished, yeah. You're not like, it's not something that you think, you're not like a holiday, you think, oh my God, I'm going to go away for seven days, I'm going to enjoy every single moment. you're like i need to get this fucking done yeah and the problem is once you just fucking push off you're thinking oh my god there's not one moment of this fucking seven days or 79 days which is going to be pleasurable it's going to be fucking horrible and when is it going to end yeah and then the strangest thing happens for me and it's the whole reason why i do it when it gets to the point where it feels too tough or too cold or too dangerous or that I'm not going to recover my boat that time or I'm too tired, too worn out, that's when I have the connection with my daughter.

1:22:19Rob:When I'm fearing for my life, when I'm fearing for my existence, when I think that maybe I'm too weak to carry on, that's when I connect with that. And that's what this whole journey was for. So through the most pain and through the most suffering and through the toughest times, I get this beautiful glimpse of my little girl. And then I get the most peace I've ever had. It's like hitting the fucking like 10 on the Richter scale.

1:22:53Rob:it's just calm it's like and then i'm like i'm right where i'm supposed to be right it's getting over all of that part and then i'm right where i need to be and then that's beautiful and they're the moments that stay with me that's why like i it's so profound life yeah because i think of all the moments that i look back to and like all the moments that i talk about All the moments that I laugh about All the moments that are worth something to me Usually come in the times Of the most struggle But then you look back and you're like Fuck I remember that That was amazing And I think that's what makes it worth it You know people always said People always used to say to me They were like Don't you think you're doing these things as a bit of an escape And I was like What am I escaping from They were saying I'm doing these things to escape for my pain yeah and I was like well what from the foundation that I set up the campaign that I just created the fucking you know six or seven days a week of like three to seven hours a day that I train with my daughter in my mind to get me through it the actual event that is all for my daughter to raise money for the illness that took her away that puts me in a position where I've got nothing but her to get me through it that kind of running away I don't really get how that runs away from anything I've just got something that I need to do as a result of the pain that I feel and this is the way that I choose to channel it and my journey becomes for those moments those like it's it's just like I don't know if you get like it as a man yeah you know you go for you like monotonous fucking days yeah like you know nearly every fucking day what i mean if you're not looking for like you know you don't need like your flowers every day like for you to turn up yeah but like every now and again i don't know if you feel like it that just one moment happens and you're like yeah i'm cool for another six months now yeah you know what i mean it could just be like and it could just happen like for 10 seconds and it's that like is it elixir elixir that hits you yeah and they're the moments that i get and it comes just on the flip side of like being too close to the edge and then it feels great and then i'm like wow that's a cool for another year now does that kind of become an addiction yeah yeah it does it's a dangerous place to be right and i always say that my kids save me for different reasons you know like my My daughter is like 100 % saved me.

1:25:32Rob:Like, fuck me. She saved me in so many different facets in my life in terms of actually saving my life to saving the person that I could have been, you know, before. And now I'm choosing to be a better person. And my sons, in a way, have saved me because I didn't know how far this thing was going to go. Because, like, you know, like, you start off and you think, oh, I'm going to run a marathon. And then you're like, yeah, I've run 100 miles. And you're like, yeah, I'm going to do thousands. And yeah, I'm going to do mountain seas. I'm going to get my parachute license, jump out of planes. And it's kind of like, you feel quite embarrassed.

1:26:04Rob:I ran the length of the UK, cycled it, kayaked it. I felt really embarrassed to finish. Why?

1:26:13Rob:Because it didn't quantify to enough for me. I felt embarrassed. I was like, are we celebrating this? Like, are people going to come to this? I felt embarrassed. And also, I crossed the line every single time and she ain't there waiting for me like it's it's yeah it's hard and sometimes Rob because you know that you're not gonna quit you know that you're gonna do it so it's just like I know that I'm not gonna quit so I'll know that it's a formality that's why the end the finish line can't be what I'm going for because if it was that's what I'm going for I've already done it before I'm even started do you know what I'm saying so it got to a point it gets to a point where it is addictive and not addicted like, oh, you're fiending for it and you need it.

1:26:59Rob:But it's where your self-worth comes from. All I need to do is look in the mirror and I can answer my own questions. That became addictive. But then what I had to do, Rob, is I feel like what I was trying to say is it was going to get to a point where like, and I still might do it. I was going to, you know, kayak from New York to London and become the first man to kayak the Atlantic, yeah? And I thought I needed to do it. And... at the minute because I've got two young boys I feel like it could be a bit too dangerous because not because I'm scared of dying because I'm not because I know where I'm gonna go more so that I feel like my kids need a dad and there's still too much to do yet and then what happened was miraculous my sons yeah like gave me something that I didn't think I'd get again they gave me like like I've got like genuine like just this freedom in in love and happiness again.

1:27:55Rob:I look at them and like, my world's a better place. I never thought I could access that again. I thought my heart was too broken. I didn't think I could have kids again. Then they've done this for me. And then because they've injected this happiness, this wholesomeness, this love in my heart, it's brought more joy to my life. And I'm like, you know what? Yeah. I thought maybe, maybe I need to change a little bit of direction because I think it's important enough to evolve you know when something stops working or something when something's a means to an end or when you need to go in a different direction I believe it's strong you have to be strong enough to be able to do that so then I decided um a month ago that the Ultraman was the last challenge for the time being that I'm gonna do like that and I'm gonna push for the 2030 Winter Olympics you know after I lost my daughter I qualified for Team GB and I just felt it wasn't the right thing for me to do I had too much pain I needed to be isolated I needed to be like a lone wolf that that sorts his shit out through long grueling and harsh environments you know and then now because I've got a bit more zest a bit more happiness a bit more love I'm like I love to push for that dream to get to the 2030 winter olympics for so many different reasons I would love my sons to see their daddy in Olympic games I would love to show people what is possible At the other side of pain and at the other side of trauma And I'll be 40 years old at that point I want to show people and men that life isn't over When you get over 35, which a lot of men do Oh I can't run anymore, yeah you can You can be an Olympian And one of the main things I want to do is rather, yeah I played Go the Distance on my daughter's day It's a song from Hercules And it's about Hercules' journey to Mount Olympus, yeah where he receives his hero is welcome so I wanted to take my daughter on a journey to my Olympus to the Olympic Games you know so I've decided to take that path which has been really difficult to get my head around because going from long grueling days of where you just break your body and break your body even more and break it again after now it's about reversing the body clock you know becoming more explosive becoming faster becoming more powerful not exhausting your body but preserving it so it can perform again to its highest capacity the next day and that's been a difficult thing to get my head around but it's been a really relieving and healing process because I'm like you know what yeah I haven't been consumed by this you know and I think it's another incredible journey to go on for myself for my family and for the foundation as well going forward.

1:30:38Rob:What's your biggest mistake or failure? Yeah.

1:30:43Rob:I think, do you know what? I learned from two occasions in my life. Yeah. So rather than it be like a really dramatic story, I'll just talk about two learning points in my life. So when I made my debut in football, this is a big life lesson. I made my debut in football and when I played right I always used to cut him from the right and hit the ball on the outside of my boot yeah and I just perfected the technique it was unorthodox and it wouldn't be a way that you would coach anybody but it always used to work for me hence why I always played an age group up two age groups up hence why I was with the first team at you know 16 17 right it obviously worked well and I remember before I played right we'd done a shooting practice with the first team and the guy was telling me strike through the ball don't don't hit the ball like that strike through it and I went I played my debut and I got the star man award on my debut but I went through on this chance it was nil nil if I'd have scored I'd have relegated Charlton yeah and my granddad put a bet on he put a bet on me to come on and score the winner ran really crazy right and I went through and like these when I played for the reserves when I played for the youth team they were like nine out of ten ten out of ten I'd score these ones it was easy and as I was about to shoot that thing went through my head don't hit the ball like that strike through it and I thought and it was like a million things went through my head at once and I was like I'm with the first team I should do what the first team guy says and I struck through it and I pulled it wide and I never forget that moment I don't I don't wish I was still playing football I don't think oh my god I wish I was a footballer I missed out on this life I don't think about the game anymore I just enjoy watching it but that moment sticks in my head and that's because if I'm going to fail I'm going to fail my way and no one else's way because I look back at the opportunity and it doesn't haunt me that I missed it haunts me that something that I knew in my heart of hearts was the right thing to do I chose not to because someone else told me and I've never been able had to let it go so if I'm gonna fail I'm gonna fail my way all right if I'm gonna succeed I'm gonna succeed my way do you know what I mean so that was one big thing that I learned also it was when I went on SAS who dares wins it was it was after I lost my daughter so it was after COVID so I hadn't been around people I hadn't really gone back out into society you know I'm and I'm doing this show and I wanted to do the show because I wanted to see I knew who I wanted to be I think a little bit by that point and I thought it was a great opportunity to see if I'm strong enough to be that person and I think going on there I was the standout contestant and it was quite good because I think because of who I was and because of my story it became the only episode where nobody gave the round band and the DS were having to just basically get rid of people because people were empowered by the story and I should have won but I went into an interrogation and it was a long interrogation it was like 12 to 14 hours we're sitting there blindfolded we're getting dunked in water we're in these stress positions you're getting played in your ears babies crying pigs getting slaughtered chainsaws and I got to a point and I was really calm I wasn't actually stressed out I wasn't like I can't do it I got to a point and I was like I think I've been through enough I don't need any more punishment you know I've proved I can do everything and I took my armband off it was only probably another five minutes yeah and then the whole thing would have been over then there was just a running challenge to see who wins now because I took my armband off they gave all the other four people the win because there was no standout person between them because I should have won yeah and I just look back at it and I'm like was I really content in that moment or did I have a moment of weakness did I think that Did it got too much?

1:34:46Rob:And did I rely on the fact that I'd already been through enough to not have to deal with this? And that was one of the biggest lessons that I had. And it was that I'll never, ever fucking quit in my life again. Ever. I will fucking see it out. Pain is temporary. But the price or the weight of quitting and regret will last with you forever. It haunts me. That one moment haunts me so much so that, you know, I will die trying now. Don't quit. it was something that was on a plate to me, Rob. I should have, I should have won. I'd been outstanding the whole way through. And a moment there, which didn't, didn't really require extreme physical fitness or this tenacious attitude.

1:35:28Rob:It just was like a bit of perseverance, a bit of going through trauma. What I did was I let my trauma get in the way. I, I, it wasn't me. It was, I've been through enough. I don't really need to hear this anymore. And I took my armband off. Never again. I would always see it out. I have to see it out going forward. And that's one thing I would say to anybody. Like pain, you know, is temporary. It is. That moment is temporary. You just need a bit of resilience. You need a bit of endurance. Life is a battle of endurance. It's not a marathon. It's an ultra marathon. It's the biggest ultra you ever fucking run in your life.

1:36:05Rob:But you need that endurance. You need that perseverance. You need that resilience because soon that pain will pass. And then the person you become at the other side of it will live with you forever. That decision will live with you forever. Make it the right one.

1:36:17Ashley Cain:This show is called Disruptors. It's taken me 10 years and 1 ,300 episodes to get you on this show. What does the word disruptive mean to you?

1:36:26Rob:You've only wanted me for the last week. Ah, bullshit.

1:36:29Ashley Cain:This has been, it's been months in the last week. Yeah. What does disruptive mean to you?

1:36:36Rob:I like to think I'm a disruptor. You know, I think this world can, you know, put people into boxes and it can put people into categories and it can tell you the way that you should live your life and what's best for you. But I always believe in stepping outside of that box. I believe that I'm going to do what I want to do. I believe I'm going to do what I see fits best. And I believe that I don't want to follow the same path as everyone else has followed, if I know what I believe to be a better one. So I just think that in a world that tries to put you in a box don't believe in that cage break out of that cage and follow your own path and you'll be surprised at what you can achieve and who you can be at the other side of those walls like you have to be a disruptor in life you're a disruptor i'm a disruptor and i think if more people you know stepped outside of that cage and believed that there was life outside of it there'd be more people that are disruptors in the world would be a very stronger and better place amen this has been great really also yeah we have a one pound challenge on with the azalea foundation at the minute okay yeah you know childhood cancer receives less than three percent of cancer research funding yet childhood cancer is the biggest number one killer of our children in the uk um so we've set up um a challenge which is a one pound challenge and that's if you know if god if a percentage of our followers can donate one pound it would make an incredible life-changing and life-saving impact for our children because they don't get enough support for new treatments and new research so it's a very easy one-click process to donate and if people watching this want to give one pound to help children fight cancer um it'd be very much appreciated i know the children and families would appreciate it do you have the link it's on the azalea foundation's instagram so we'll put it in the comments yeah in the description that'd be

1:38:36Ashley Cain:amazing yeah of course and um I really respect what you do I'm really grateful for your time man

1:38:44Rob:thank you hopefully I can steal some more of it after this yeah sure well show me the money

1:38:50Ashley Cain:where are you like where are you most active on social media where should people follow you if

1:38:54Rob:they don't I think Instagram Instagram at Mr Ashley Kane you know the same handle for TikTok um snapchat mr ashley kane one but my main profile is instagram and um you'll see a lot of what i do who i am and you'll be able to read or hear or view my heart and there which is the most important point awesome really appreciate you coming here well thank you very much

1:39:16Ashley Cain:cheers

1:39:48Ashley Cain:this episode was brought to you by disruptive media helping bold entrepreneurs stand out through podcasting, video and social content. Visit disruptivemedia.co.uk to learn more.