#302. 33 Years Club Promoter, Addiction & Clockwork Orange Founder - Andy Manston

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2:06All from my desk? All from your desk. Join the 4 million businesses using Stamps.com right now with code podcast and get your free welcome gift. Stamps.com code podcast Taxes and fees apply Clockwork Orange, that's a wicked name Honestly, I'd say I'm more of a DJ than a promoter I love music, I always have done I've always DJed You can definitely get a crowd going So what year was Clockwork Orange Ball with you and Danny? Launched on the 23rd of Jan 1993 The big change was when we were on our beef front covered And that just took it stratospheric We were crazy, you know We were literally having just crazy parties We wouldn't come out for like two days The problem I had was I only discovered that a year and a half ago.

2:49What, that you've been overcooking it too long? I've kind of taken drugs my whole adult life probably. Unfortunately, with that whole thing, you don't really realise that you're in it until you're out of it. I probably went over that line many, many years ago. You've just gone and f*** it all again. What have you done? Quick one, guys. I'll be recording Eventful Lives live on stage this year at EMC 2025, the Entrepreneurs Marketing Conference, and it's going to be a banger. We've never done this before, so watch this space. We're taking the podcast out of the studio and into a room with 800 real business owners at an event designed to give you practical, tactical marketing strategies that you can actually implement into your own business to get results.

3:30The lineup's massive. Google are speaking, Facebook too, and I'm also going to be bringing a special guest with me. It's all happening on the 19th and 20th of September at Tobacco Dock in London. Tickets are£145 plus vats and the price will also be increasing soon. So if you run a business and want to be in the room and see me and the Ventful Lives podcast live on stage, then head over to www.emc2025.com and use the code DOGE20 if you want to get 20 % off your ticket. I'll see you there, guys. Andy, welcome to the show, mate. Hi, mate. We finally got it on. We finally got it on. Yeah, I know. It's taken a while.

4:03Last time we hooked up, we were back in IB for last summer. Yes. That was an amazing part. I know. It was incredible, wasn't it? It was literally incredible. We'll go and talk about that a bit later. but let's roll all the way back when was the first time you ever went to ibiza so as far as i think it was the first time i went was with parents on a holiday to eskenar which is on the north side i think it was 1982 so i was about 12 yeah so um long long time ago yeah and so what was it what was it like for you listen you're in the music world you're a dj you're a promoter you put on a festival you put on loads hundreds and hundreds of parties all around the country what was it for you when you were sort of growing up you looked at it and went you know what I actually do want to become a DJ I do want to become a promoter I do want to get into the music world um the the thing is the way I got into this whole sort of business as such I mean it kind of went back to childhood so I was heavily into music from from a very early age I was always in playing instruments stuff like that but what what's kind of happened was when I was about 14 I discovered by pure luck really i suppose that i had an amstrad stereo and um what i discovered was that if i were to play the tape at the same time as the record i could mix and i literally just came across this i was like what anyway i remember the two tracks where it was derrick b bad young brother and nitro deluxe and i worked out that i could like mix the vocal over the track yeah and it was kind by default really and then i just i sort of started like really becoming interested in this whole process of like trying to mix two records together and it and it sort of went from there really i mean the the big change for me was probably um in the the late sort of 80s when obviously the acid house exploded and and and that was it then it was like it was kind of like became part of my life and that was really what i i i mean it all happened by sort of chance um i mean nothing happens by chance but we um you know we we when i started out i was um i used to work for natwest and um i i wanted to do parties so i kind of started the first ever event i did was with one of my best mates and we did a little sort of party um rugby club in um near i live in um over essex way and um and it kind of went from there really it was just it was just a gradual thing and then i then i did another one um and then i i got big big boots on and tried to do a party in um the old paddocks which is where clockwork had its first actual event actually anyway so I organised this event with all the Naked Lunch DJs because we used to go down to Naked Lunch.

7:00What's Naked Lunch? It was an event in a club called Driz, which funnily enough, where I met Danny. So it was where we used to go every week. It was like the pilgrimage of that time. And it was Lawrence Nelson, all the guys. And I did an event and we booked the paddocks, did it all. And the bomb went off. It was the night the bomb went off in the city. and so I'm standing there thinking like you know where is everyone sort of thing and it literally it was all fire engines go it was just like carly I'm like oh my god literally about four people could get to it because they put like a ring of steel around London and um and that was it really and and and then um yeah and then and then basically uh Clockwork was born yeah so what year was Clockwork Orange born with you and Danny so we well the story goes so this is how I met Danny so um naked lunch again so one of my mates Michael uh he's a very good friend of mine said to me I guess you never guess what's happening he goes I was in um in uh naked lunch on Saturday some fellow run up to me and went yeah grab take these pills off me and um he uh and then he basically got bundled out by security sort of thing so he goes oh we're gonna go and meet him up at Hollywood's because he hangs out at Hollywood's so um went up to Hollywood's now this is my first ever meeting to Danny.

8:16It's just like carnage wherever we always went. And so he gets into Hollywood. So he's like, all right, mate. So I'm like, yeah, yeah, all right. So he's like, do you want a drink? So I'm like, yeah, all right then. So anyway, he literally leans over the bar, grabs a bottle of vodka or something like that. And he started, the next thing went, oh, Tony Tucker and all the boys, Bosh. And I'm literally sitting at something like, what the fuck, man? So literally my first meeting of Danny was getting chucked out of Hollywood. And then it sort of went from there. so there was originally four of us involved who were the other two a guy called michael munn who's still a good friend of mine another guy called andy bluntson and i'm still a good friend i don't see him yeah no in here like not for a long while to be fair no and um so what year we took we're talking 93 it was kind of yeah 92 we were talking about it okay and then um what we said is i think we want to do some parties so i was like well let's get that danny geezer involved because he knows absolutely everyone you know he's the king of hollywoods like he's literally everyone knows danny you know he was like the face of you know if tower had been going back in them days 100 % he would have been on it so um that was it really so we sort of said to him do you want to come and um we're going to try and do some events do you want to get involved he was a bit like i don't know really i'm not sure anyway so we kind of twisted his arm and um and and then we yeah we we went up to London.

9:38I remember we went up to Soho and we were trying to come up with a name. So he's going in all these different, like they have all these photographic shops where they sold all stills from the films. And we all went into this shop and we were having a little sort of look for all these different cars. And I can't remember what we did now. Someone pulled out the card with the false teeth in the glass. And we all just looked at each other and went, Corrin, that's a wicked name. And it kind of, that was it. And then it was born. And then we launched on the 23rd of Jan, 1993. Fantastic. Some career are throwing parties over the 30 odd years.

10:13Oh mate, I mean look. Amazing. Yeah, we've done I mean, it's incredible really. I mean, we had that big break in between. Yeah. So what, so when you started in 93, it was like four lads having a laugh, throw some parties, they said we can take the door money, they'll take the bar money, go to nightclubs when they're probably less busy. Yeah. Is there a number of nights that really stood out in your mind in the 90s when you went, you know what, as we're progressing and you would have been 20 odd then. Yeah, I mean... As you progressed, you go, I want to get that club. I want to get that club. Was there a residency or did you just throw in different parties in different clubs?

10:46We were really lucky because when we kind of started out, obviously 93, we went to Ibiza in 94. To throw parties? Yeah, yeah. So I used to work for NatWest and I spoke to Blocko and said, oh, we really want to do parties in Ibiza. And he was like, well, I'll put you in touch with... Miss Bisto or Clara Costa, she's now known, and she was running the Esparody. So I sent her a fax from NatWest. She's still got it, I believe. And then we literally, me and Danny flew out to Ibiza in May, went and met Pepe, sat down with him. I mean, this is how mad it was. The owner of Pepe's, the owner of Mambos.

11:29No, Pepe Esparody. Esparody, sorry, yeah. Yeah, that's Javier. But this is how mad it was then. so this was 93 and I remember we were sitting in um Cavendamore waiting to meet Miss Beistow Clare and there was no one in there it was literally May middle of May and it was dead you know way before all the manbos didn't even exist then um so yeah we went and we went and met Pepe and we basically said look we really want to put on some events we're going to bring some DJs over from England and um he was sort of like okay you start in um July off you go and uh yeah so I went home I'm handing my notice.

12:05Yeah. Got a bollocking from my dad. He's like, you're going to throw your life down the toilet. You know what I mean? I'm like, I want to do it, dad. I'm going to go. I want to go and, you know, I've got to do it sort of thing. And yeah, it just kind of slowly started gaining traction with the night was getting more and more popular. Yeah. The big change was when we were on our beef for Uncovered. Yeah. And that just took it stratospheric because we got, I think we was averaging, I don't know, about 1 ,500 a week at Esparody. That was 96. And... What was the cap? I mean... Official cap? God, back in them days.

12:43Yeah, you just squeeze them all in. I mean, three, I think three, six was our biggest, but you literally couldn't move in there. And that came out, I mean, that came out the end of August and literally the following week, it was just bonkers. We were up to like two and a half, three. And that was it then. Just explain for the listener, because I love Esparody's club. Yeah. Explain to the listener what S Parodies Club, how you would describe it. So it's designed like a, I suppose you'd say it's like a Roman Colosseum with a big centre ring, pillars going all the way around it. It's got a retractable roof.

13:19So the roof comes down and it's full of live foliage and all trees and stuff like that. And it's just one, well, not one of, probably is the most beautiful venue you could ever go in. Yeah. isn't it funny you know that you're talking about that sort of Roman feel where that centre bit there where the stairs are going up so people are dancing on stages and steps it's beautiful we forgot one most important thing that fills up with water as well does that fill water is it yeah so they've got fountains that they don't really do it as much now but it literally in the centering yeah it fills up so it all and yeah gets a bit messy yeah I'm sure yeah I'm sure do you know what was lovely about it you did your first party in 94 and the party last summer 2024 24, 30 years you've been part of the Esparadix Club and Ibiza.

14:02I know. Brilliant. And that last year, I think we had this conversation that was the closest, I've got to because I'm saying it, the closest I've ever got to experiencing what we did back in the 90s. Totally agree. Here we go. Yeah, mate. Look at that. Yeah, mate. Hey? Mate, I get it. I was there, I was buzzing. I was like, my God, I didn't expect this. It was the crowd. I know. The crowd was amazing. Music was amazing. The club was amazing. yeah what time did you open you opened in the afternoon didn't you and it closed yeah we what time did it close we all left there I think we started about at four yeah and it was it finished at midnight and then we went on another club we went on to we did a little afters at Eden Eden that's right yeah so roll back roll back 93 94 how many summers have you did you do on the bounce there so we we started in 93 we we went up to we was running up until 2000 yeah um It was all getting a bit mucky then.

14:59We were just completely off the rails, a pair of us. The big thing that happened was this, I don't know if you ever heard about the trademarking issue. So what basically happened was we got offered to do amnesia and we were like a bit like, oh no, we want to stay at Esparody. But then what happened was all of a sudden there was, unbeknownst to us, there was this guy from Benidon and um he'd gone and literally trademarked all of the big nightclubs logos without them realizing so i mean like it was us god's kitchen money pennies um everyone cream we got to ib for in i think it was 2001 and um there were cool papers waiting for us as paradise like what's all this about yeah um went to call and they're basically like you don't own the name and we're like we do own it we've owned it for many years anyway cut off so short the fella had just literally taken a copy of mix mag yeah and taken a photo a copy of the logo and trademarked it so they were like you you can't use the name and we're like but we own it and i remember being in front of a lot of judges going look i i i get this but you can't if you use it the police will turn up and stop the night so we were like fuck you know what i mean and um then all of a sudden we get this call from someone connected to this fella oh yeah if you want to you want to use your brand this year it's going to pay we're going to pass 40 grand you tell them do one yeah so we're like fuck you sort of thing um so we what we had to do was we were like well we we had to change the name and call it the orange summer i love and it was just it was a disaster because people couldn't connect with it.

16:51I didn't know what it was. So this was the year, like 2000, 2001, you're talking about. Yeah. This is when the.com came out, wasn't it? Yeah. Did you have the website addressed then? No, we could never. Obviously, the.com was taken... For the movie? Well, you say that, but if you were to search it, nothing comes up for it. Okay. Did you ever have the fear of going, oh, we're using Clockwork Orange. They're going to be on our case. We did. Well, look, we trademarked it. Believe it or not, the only people that kicked off about it was orange phones they tried to stop us um but we never got anything from the film i mean we did use some early imagery of the film but to be fair it was just the name yeah and it's what you know what what what can you connect to it that we do that but no never never had any issues so this fellow in benedorm's gone on there trademarked all these things i can't imagine cream james barton i can't imagine money pennies and all that lot just taking it on the chin okay no they didn't but they spent a bloody lot of money fighting him yeah i mean like hundreds and hundreds of grands but we went in a position to do that yeah okay that's the thing you know we were literally young kids having a great time in ibiza tell me what happened to that fella did he did he claw any money off anyone to use the name was it just in ibiza they weren't allowed to use it you know i i mean i do i do believe that some people did some deals with him.

18:14Okay. The mad thing is, this is how dodgy the fella was. He had a bar in Benidorm, sorry, called Arads. And it had the logo without the H on it. It was literally like, he was just the king of like scams, you know. Oh God, yeah. Proper bleg. Was he English? No, no, no. Spanish. No, Spanish was it. Arads. Arads, I know. That's such a genius in fact, isn't it? Tell me, tell me 93, 94, you've handed your notice, you've gone, right, I'm going Ibiza. At that age and the excitement of Ibiza and the colour and the girls and the people and the environment and the copious amounts of drugs in Ireland, what was going through your world?

18:57Because you weren't thinking, I want to turn this into a proper business. You're probably thinking, I'm throwing a couple of parties, I'm going to go and live, have a right laugh with my best mate, Danny, and off we go. Yeah. What was your lifestyle like between 93 and 2000? Mad. Absolute mad. We were literally just, we were like 23 when we got to ibfa and we weren't we were just on a you know a five-month holiday whatever long we was out there yeah and it was at the start it was just we were running parties having a great time and living living the life of riley yeah and that that's it and it you know it got it got gradually i mean i remember the first year we went there like drugs weren't really a big thing it was more like we were just happy to be in ibfa you know obviously drugs and drink were in the mix but the the later years is when it got it got heavy yeah i mean but um so in your late in your later years in terms of 93 94 95 it's all fun 96 fun and then it got you got deeper and deeper into partying whilst out there yeah i mean i think the the look the thing is unfortunately like what what we do brings that all that kind of stuff with it but we were like just we were crazy you know we were literally having just crazy parties we were we it was it was days on end of like i remember like on the uh we used to have our parties on a wednesday night so we'd go back to the villa call on a load of um gear and that and and we wouldn't come out for like two days we'd literally be we lock ourselves in and then all the workers are coming up because we were supposed to be paying everyone's wages and then all of a sudden we're looking out and there's like people going like tapping on the gates going can we um get our wages and we're like oh it was just uh it was mad it was like it was a rock and roll lifestyle it really was it was just bonkers i mean i tell people stories about and it can be like shut up man he's chatting shit you know what i mean yeah it was where did the nickname manky come from um so um another friend of mine who's gonna sound really good his nickname is bugle sigh you couldn't do the maths on that one so we would we were just down at um manbo's it just opened one day and um he i think i don't I think they'd all been space and I didn't go.

21:09And he's just come back and he's just grabbing hold of me going, Mankey, Mankey. But I think it was more the state he was in. And it just stuck. Literally, that's it. Everyone just started calling me Mankey. And it came from, so, 1994 Ibiza. That was where it was born. Tell me some of the maddest parties you've been to in Ibiza over the years. In what sense? Like Clockworks or? Anyone. Any party. I'll tell you, let's start with Clockworks. Let's start with Clockworks. I mean, the one that really sticks out for me was we had Jeremy Healy. He was our resident one year. And it was like in the days when he was like number one DJ.

21:51He was the daddy, wasn't he? Big thing to get him. And we did a night with him. And I think that was the record. I think that was when we broke the record. And he basically played all night. And I just remember. What club? Esparaday. Esparaday, yeah, okay. I remember he was playing and it was just absolutely heaving in there, just going off. And he dropped Wannabe Starting Something, Michael Jackson. And the whole place was just going, and then the water come on and everyone was just going, I just took a look right there and he went, fucking hell. I was like, I don't get it. It was just like, we've just looked at each other and just watched this madness of just people just crazy, like the water was flying about.

22:37Yeah. And it was just, wow. You know what I mean? What clubs and Ibiza really stand out for you? Apart from this parody. I mean, look, my space. Absolutely. You know, the original space. Lucky enough to DJ there quite a lot. But that was just like magic. What, what, I mean, and the old terrace as well. I'm not talking about when it, when it changed over. I'm talking about what it used to be like in 94. because it was just, we literally lived for Sunday. Yeah, same. I mean, our Wednesday was clockwork, but all we were waiting for was for Sunday to get to space. How good was it? It was just... Not a phone in sight.

23:19Everyone just loving it. It was just, yeah. It wasn't even that busy though, was it? That's the mad thing. You know, when it first started, there was probably about three, four hundred people in there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And look, I loved... I liked it like that. Yeah. yeah that's that three four hundred crowd of everyone just been around the clock and they're back in there on the sunday yeah and it was all mates it was workers it was it was very like underground yeah very underground and then you had the mad inside where it was like flashing strobe lights and freezing cold i remember that yeah you used to walk in there and it'd be like oh my god yeah but yeah it was yeah mate um just incredible times i mean look I love all the clubs out there.

24:00Amnesia, Pasha. I used to love El Dovino. That's lovely, wasn't it? Used to get a boat there as well. Yes. Get a boat there and turn up. Remember? Yeah, yeah, yeah. El Dovino. What was that now? It's Leo. Leo now. Leo, that's right. But yeah, no, like all of them really. They're all in their own way. They're very special. Yeah. Have you ever got yourself into trouble out in Ibufa? Yeah. Yeah. Go on. I was thinking about it because he was going to ask me. Oh God, I mean, I got, so this is the thing. I could go on for days for stories, but I'll try to pick the ones that won't like incriminate us sort of thing.

24:37But I mean, look, I had the first, the first year we were there, I came out of privilege or coup it was at the time. And I was literally absolutely off my canister. And I was like, yeah, I'll drive home. anyway gets next thing all i've woke up in the middle of the road the car's upside down i've no idea how i got out i don't know if i got thrown out and um and i'm like oh fucking hell so i'm like like literally so i thought right i'll run off only thing to do in it so i've run down the road and then um i've got the car key still in my hand so the next one the guardia pulled up just grabbed me and gone like dickhead like started like so they took me up to um this uh it's like i i don't know if it was a the other thing was a police safe it was like a kind of a holding sort of area left me in the car for about three hours i was literally like um like punched my black eyes they were just digging me and all that and um then um went to court because you go cool literally same day out there there's no like there's no like you're getting a trial you say anyway sent me off packing i said mate i said i'm on medication just come up with as much bullshit as i could um and then um it gets better though so obviously you've got away well i thought i got away with it um so the following year lost my passport which was probably a standard thing um going into the airport i was going back to do a gig next thing they're like um hang on a sec take my name and they went wait a sec please come out put handcuffs on me so I'm like what and they're like you've got a warrant out for drink driving and I've basically hit a wall or tree and I'm like knocked over loads of shit so literally before I know it I'm in a cell in IB for prison no one knows I'm in there and I'm like I'm supposed to be coming home to do this gig at the cross literally people are waiting for me where's mankeys you know what I mean and I'm like and yeah next thing I know I'm in a cell and I'm like what the fuck then it's Sunday and I'm still in the cell and I'm like oh everyone's in space today what is going on so yeah so they finally let me out on the Monday and with a massive bill to pay for all the damage but listen we could go on for days about where it's crazy I'm sure Danny said a few of his bad ones yeah so tell me you're out there you're doing seasons out there when you're coming back tell me the parties you were throwing back in London or around the country so we tended to kind of steer clear of the summer because we wanted to spend it all in Ibiza but we were doing parties when we were like becoming getting bigger in the sort of 95, 96 we used to do Cannon Palace the cross was our home that was our spiritual home and another cracking venue like what was Malibu Stacy Club it was just off Oxford Street we did parties there, Roar Maximus so anything we could kind of get our hands on really and was it was it a proper business business or were you still two mates throwing parties making door taking door money it's just living it was a fucking free for all yeah because Danny was just like I remember I remember like we didn't even have a bank account I don't think for about three years and I said to Danny like we need to get a bank account he went why you know what I mean because it was all cash it was all cash yeah like literally I mean we're going in shops and like new year's eve party we done and everything yeah you got to come get some of this money i'm like well how much you got it's like i got 30 grand i'm like what and danny was like very like fuck tax fuck everything and um i remember when i said we got to pay tax well i'm paying tax and i had a load of money in front of me he went i'm just having my off you can sort it out but like i said it was just we the pair of us were just like didn't really i mean it's not We had business acumen, but we were just loving life.

28:40Yeah, yeah. And that was what it was like then. I mean, it only changed really after we came back. Yeah. I mean, don't remember, we had a bank account and we did pay tax, but it was just, we were young boys living the dream and it was just crazy, you know. So how many years were you doing it before you took the break? And how long was the break for? so we looked 2001 it's it was all starting to go a little bit um bandy danny was absolutely off off the scale with just his drugs and alcohol and and all the stuff like that with the loss of the name that was a massive factor but what kind of happened was um we we were kind of the music was changing so it was around that time when it was getting quiet garage yeah and it was either going garage or progressive we didn't move with the times basically because we just thought it was going to last forever yeah and um it just started to become harder and harder and we were putting on events and where we were like smashing to in our 3000 we were not maybe struggling to get a thousand yeah and it was just becoming a bit like and i was djing i was djing all over the world then i was really really busy and i had gigs everywhere and then all of a sudden I started noticing that regular events I had on were stopping yeah it was like the scene was it was almost kind of just really like I think kind of what's happened now to be fair where it got so big I think it was overkill and um things started like like people stopped going out and and all of a sudden I was gone from having like you know like gigs every week to one a month and and at that time it was it was like my my career I wasn't earning nowhere near the money out of clockwork to like live on and um and then danny just was just off the you know he was off the scale he was just he he was missing he wouldn't turn up for meetings and he was so bang on it it got to a point where he was just like i don't want to do it no more and i'm like well okay so he kind of said like i'm out you know and then it was around the time of his um when he was starting on his journey on sobriety yeah so i tried to carry it on on my own but it just it was just never the same i don't know what it is but it's the magic of me and him together that works yeah now i did keep it going for a bit and it was okay but it's just something that it's if he's not involved and us together it's just not the same yeah and and um so it sort of pitted out around 05, 06 I was doing still quite well out of my DJing so that was alright but again I had to sort of like think well I need a job here because I'm not knowing you're not enough money you know the parties ain't happening anymore so then I kind of started working for a friend as a I started off as a labourer for him then I started doing carpentry work and eventually I worked my way up to doing the job full time and eventually I ended up becoming a site manager.

31:50So. How was your, what about you? You know, we're talking about Danny, he was, he was overcooking it and it was, you know, and he'd been on the show. So, but yeah, he'd been on the show and told his story about overcooking it. Were you at a point where you were overcooking it as well? Yeah. But the problem I had was I only discovered that a year and a half ago. What, that you've been overcooking it too long? Yeah. I mean, look, the thing is I've, I've kind of taken drugs my whole adult life probably. And unfortunately with that whole thing, you don't really realize that you're in it until you're out of it.

32:26And when it's fun, it's, you know, and the early days are great. It's fun. But when you cross that line, there's a line sort of that you go over. And I probably went over that line many, many years ago, but it was, I hadn't accepted it. I didn't, you know, I didn't, I didn't, I didn't kind of, um,

32:52I've just spent too many years, like in this hole of like, you know, and I'm not going to get me wrong. I'm not like a, I'm not an everyday person. It was a weekend thing, but it took me, uh, it took me till last january to finally work out that i had to stop and like everything you know you're about 18 months clean now you 16 this weekend respect thank you massive respect thank you massive respect it's been a mad journey but um it was um it was just like i mean look some things happened in my life that made me, you know, like rock one, basically. You know, I'd split up with Jade, my girlfriend.

33:36I had this problem of like, I created this monster. I basically turned into this man that I was very sneaky and deceitful, and it all comes with not wanting anyone to really know what you're up to. Now, the main thing is, if you see me on drugs, you can fucking tell I've had a line, like literally five miles away. So all this sneakiness and lying. But basically, I'd wanted to stop, I think, for many, many, many years.

34:10And I've tried many, many times. I've like literally probably, I mean, Danny had a pound for every time I rung him up and said, I don't want to do it no more. About 58 quid or something. but um yeah it was um with addiction i think the pro the problem is is you like when you want to stop something unless you've actually finally made up your mind that that is you're going to do it and and look don't get me wrong you have to make that and you have to make that decision yourself and um it it took me many many many years to finally accept that i needed help help yeah and and and the main thing is be accountable for my actions because i've spent so many years basically hurting people you know not not i'm not a nasty person but the problem is that shit man it it it you don't give a fuck about anyone yeah you know when you're when you're in that world you don't care about your loved ones you don't care about like you know the implications of what's going to happen the next day and and when you're in fluffy world and you're like i think i shouldn't get that next one but i've got to like get up in the morning and or take my me i take my some football or do this and you think you know what i mean yeah and and and until you get to that point where you accept that you've got you know stuff that needs dealing with and and it I mean, look, I had a mad night.

35:44I'd not been in a good place. My mental health weren't good. I'm ADHD as well. But I literally had a massive fallout with Jade. And this is the problem. Because when I used to take drugs, I beat myself up so badly. What, the next day? The next day, the next week. It would last for Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday. It is awful. because I've created this almost this other person that loathes, you know, I loathe, I'm guilty. It's all the things that come. And it was just, it got worse and worse and worse. And then what I would do, I would take it out mentally. On your closest. On all my closest and my loved ones.

36:27So any excuse that I could have, I would fire into Jade or I'd be horrible. I'd say the wrong things. I'd say things I know that upset her. and it all come to literally a head and I woke up on New Year's Day we'd had an awful night I'd ruined it again I ate vodka because that's the thing it's when I go it's like I end up drinking bottles of vodka yeah along with everything else well yeah but that's the end of the night you know and then I'm like blotto drunk blackout can't remember anything that's when I wake up what have I done yeah and before she'd even kind of said to me like look I can't I can't deal with you no more I was like I sat in the front room and I just literally was like I can't do this shit no more I can't do this this is ruining my life because whatever I do I always end up back at the same point because I'll stop I'll stop for four or five months but then slowly what happens is it's exactly the same pattern I'll start with a glass of wine and then I will it'll be two glasses then three then down the pub three pints then it'll be a pinch yeah then it will be a line then it'll be sneakily buying it yeah and i might say i'm getting one but i'll buy three and i'll keep two in my pocket give one out to a few people and the problem is man i'm i'm just greedy whatever i do it's in excess and and that was it so i had to i mean look we split up um we stayed in touch but she was like look you need to go and find happiness because you're not happy you know you you are clearly there's something not right you're not happy you're not in a happy place you not you're not content with yourself and um and she was she was right and and then um so i run i mean i was like this is the thing i'm i had the perfect life and this is what makes it even it makes it even harder for me that it was the first christmas that i'd had with my my two oldest kids from my previous marriage, my parents, and I sat there, I'm sitting at my mum's, like, living back at my mum's, and I'm sitting there thinking, what have you done?

38:38You know, why do you do these things? You've got the perfect life. You've got a beautiful girlfriend that adores the grounds you walk on and will do anything for you. You've got, I've got three lovely children, including Alby, my stepson in that. I've got all my beautiful parents who get on amazingly with Jay's parents. You've just gone and fucked it all again by doing what you do. And it was like, when are you going to learn? And that was basically it. And I rung Blocko and I said, Blocko, I need help. I said, I'm in trouble here, mate. I don't know what to do. Explain, obviously, Brandon and me have spoke before many times, probably again, saying I told Brandon 28 times I'm going to quit.

39:20And he put me on to, he said, look, I'm going to put you in touch with my mate. and um so um yeah so Brandon said I'm going to put in touch with a guy called Sean McNicholas who's a therapist he's an ADHD expert but he's a behavior expert and um so Sean rings me that afternoon says oh hi Andy bloody blah anyway so I told him my story and um he was like basically Andy you've just described me and I've had kind of therapy before I spoke to people but I've never ever like this man what he's done for me he gets me and he took me on this mad journey so he always said look he said drink and drugs are not the problem they're the mask there's an underlying problem that you've never dealt with I was just about to ask that what was the underlying problem do you think it was now you're now you're cleaners over looking back i had issues that i hadn't dealt with in my childhood um i again i i created this i'd become this very very angry bitter selfish all these negative things and what what what what the problem was was i i the way he described it you've got tolerance levels now normal people's tolerance levels are there mine are that i'm so highly strung so it's called fight or flight yeah so if you say something to me that i take as i take everything probably with a negative twist to it you ask me you might ask me a question well like oh i'm gonna um i'm gonna do a party next week and you go well do you think it'll be busy you haven't said it's gonna be shit yeah i'll take that what do you mean he's gonna be fucking busy i take it and i fight yeah so i attack everything yeah and this is basically what i'd become and um what he did he he basically went into my i did this sub it was like a kind of um a deep hypnosis didn't knock me out but he went into my subconscious and and he pulled things out and it was it was mental but he's taught me kind of techniques of um rather than jumping straight onto something, you're like observing what people say and thinking about it.

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43:53I'm having a pause now. Same. Do you know what I mean? It's really, really powerful. And also the power of the subconscious mind. The subconscious mind is a little man on your shoulder talking to your brain. If you're aware of your subconscious mind, you become more powerful because you know what decision you're going to make and what decision you're not going to make. But to come through what you come through, and like he said, what I loved about it, he went, you mirrored me. I used to be that person. And from your experience now, when you look back, what advice would you give to someone who is in your situation now where they're using they're getting frustrated they're pissed off they're using they're doing lines and they shouldn't be doing they're hiding in the toilet with their wife out there yeah what advice have you got if they're if they're at a point they're just like i need help i mean look the first thing is you've got to you've got to look at your life and is it is it becoming a problem and i would say the main one if you're doing it on your own yeah straight away that's that's that's a red flag if you you have to do it every time you drink and is it affecting your life but only that you know only the individual can make that decision on but what i would say is a massive massive thing for me is communication and when i tried to do this many many many times i've never wanted help i'm so i I can do it on my own.

45:10I don't need help. What I did discover, how important support and help is. And it's quite an incredible thing. You know, I had a group of like Danny, Brandon, very good friend of mine, Paul Rosser, who I reached out to at the early stages, James Prentice. Even just having Danny and Brandon as mentors and getting clean is powerful in itself, right? Yeah. And going to, and a big thing for me was, believe it or not, AA. I went to AA. Have you done the 12 steps? No. I don't go as much as I should. I haven't done it for a long while. But what I did get from it was... Now, look, when I say Aaya, I discovered that...

45:52Excuse me. I discovered that really the Coke wasn't really my problem. It was the booze. Yeah. And that's the thing. And I'd never, ever... But the booze triggers the Coke. Correct. And then triggers the bad eating and triggers the bad decisions and triggers everything, right? But I'd never stopped drinking. I always thought I could. I stopped drinking, but then I'd... I mean, I've tried everything. Once I tried to stop doing coke and doing pills, got myself in more trouble doing that. It's just crazy. But you had more fun though, right? But that was the thing. It was making that final decision that this has to stop and not leaving...

46:27And what a lot of people do is they leave doorways open. So if you say you're going to stop... Well, first things first, you need to accept that you might need some help. and it is great to reach out to as many people as possible and, you know, go AA. Is there a reason why you haven't done the 12 steps?

46:50Not really. I did consider it, but I just haven't, no. I mean, there's no particular reason. But like I said, I've not been going. I did a lot last year. I do feel like I'm in a really good place you know and since since last year was hard you know it was a hard year because you go through a lot a lot of different emotions and you have these kind of you do get FOMO, do feel like you're missing out and there is times when like you know I always find clubs really easy because clubs have kind of like work for me now but what I used to really struggle with was more personal things so a meal with jade um having my parents up to stay because we have a summer house and we used to have these crazy fucking parties in there but now it's hard for me to be in that environment because like I'm getting better but when you're kind of first doing it it's really tough sometimes you know and and it's this it's not even the physical want for it it's the mental the power of the mind isn't it yeah again and you don't realize how i mean people do realize but i've i've discovered how powerful this is absolutely and i think where i was just on planet kukula most of the time i didn't give a shit yeah but when i wanted to finally sort my problems out yeah and then you when you get into it you really do realize tell me let's go back to your djing yeah tell me what you're would you say you're more of a DJ or more of a promoter over the years?

48:26How would you introduce yourself as? I mean, honestly, I'd say I'm more of a DJ than a promoter. Yeah. You know, just because I love music. I always have done. I've always DJed. Yeah. It just happens that we're... And you can definitely get a crowd going. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 100%. Tell me some of the, tell me some of the clubs you've worked at or countries you've DJed in and sort of like the last sort of 30 years.

48:53all over really America India Australia Hong Kong Japan South Africa Colombia Canada I mean literally many many many places all over Europe all house music pretty much yeah yeah I mean I mean we do obviously like Clockwork's getting quite a good Thailand which is done New Year's Eve so clockwork's getting how was that party that was unbelievable yeah unbelievable party in Thailand yeah tell me about that and then we'll go back to how clockwork was getting bigger at the time we just got approached by the club in Thailand and they were like we really want to do a New Year's Eve show yeah and so we were like Danny's like do you want to go New Year's Eve for Thailand and I'm like alright then you know what I mean so we kind of we did the deal and it was just it sold out literally i mean they've had some big shows out there and i think it was sold out by about the 10th of november yeah and it was just um i mean i love thailand yeah it's a beautiful beautiful place i mean i took my my i took my eldest two kids out there jade and albie so i had my my family so i had a lovely lovely time like doing the holiday like you know the family stuff and that but the gig was just um yeah yeah i mean it's open now fireworks going off at midnight it was um yeah it looked amazing it was brilliant yeah absolutely brilliant and carl the guy that um owns cheese just don't have these the the best host on the planet really looks after tell me about the australian tell me about the australia gigs you're doing when blocco flew out you oh god well do you know what we've done quite a few so i'm just trying to think what one's um oh god I can't remember if block I was out there but we don't I mean look we did a tour last year we covered Melbourne Sydney Perth Brisbane had a nice oh it's lovely two weeks out there a week in Byron Bay which is if you've not been it's just the best yeah mate did you get a nimbin?

50:57no we didn't really go out it was me Brandon that's the thing because I was three months into being sober so I've got the best two people I don't know Brandon and Danny we had a fridge with some water in it Brandon's like um cashew nuts and all these just power foods he was buying and stuff like that but uh yeah i love australia really really lovely place and tell me japan what's it like playing japan uh it was i mean look they're different um but fanatical crazy people that just love it you know um yeah just i mean it's the culture's so different to like you know like anywhere else you go it's like being in year 4000 japan isn't it but what do you know what the funny thing was it was a long long time ago i went i went i think it's about 98 99 i went and i remember going out there yeah and they had phones that had screens on and we didn't have anything like that anything i'm like what is that and they're like literally they they had like uh like screens yeah so they're well ahead of us on the old technology yeah but let's move forward a few years from back then to where we're going whose idea was it to create a clockwork orange festival um well i was the one that wanted to push it yeah um danny was a little bit apprehensive about it so we'd had the conversation um and this was what 2024 no no no 19 was it 19 the first one you was 19 yeah yeah whereabouts was that?

52:28Chelmsford. Was it the same venue? Yeah, we did Chelmsford for four, three or four. It all gets a bit mashed up because of lockdown. Yeah, okay. So just the dates, I can never remember. So your first outdoor festival was 2019. Yeah. And then obviously probably 22, 23. I was 18. Oh God, I can't, you know what, you've totally thrown me now. Whatever it was. Yeah, I think it was 19. What was the thought process behind it? And did you have the money behind you to do it or were you winging it at the time um you never have the money behind you really do you that's the thing it's like i mean look we have money in the bank but um we so we did we did a party in in um studio 338 the year before and it was really it was ramo and we were like literally we were kind of like i'm in an hour and then we we decided we were going to go for it um but to be fair that first year crikey we sold like i think we sold like about 10 000 tickets in the first it was mental it was mental so money wasn't really a problem then because it it was um there's a pretty common everywhere which is pretty covered it was everything was easy yeah i agree it was easy and that was what's it wasn't easy it's only now how hard it is you realize look back and go god we're having it easier yeah yeah yeah yeah and um yeah so it it it was it was like yeah it was it was just everything about look well i know we're going talk about this so but the festivals back then before covid everything was so much cheaper yeah to put on yeah yeah like my costs have gone up 30 double if not treble on on on some things well and actually putting the infrastructure of the festival or ever just mainly the infrastructure okay i mean the lineup is what it is people would think that the lineup is the most expensive thing but it isn't it's nowhere near it's not at all to put my festival on it costs 2 mil yeah well we imagine putting 2 mil risk up front I know but you remember when I look back now you see 2019 which we're talking about 1789 an important topic here is cash physical cash it was easier to sell tickets because you could go hell mate there's 100 tickets there's 100 tickets you've got 10 pound a ticket go and sell them people get cash cash bam bam bring it back to you at the end of the week and you've done a thousand tickets quite easily now there ain't no you can't give someone a little tap and you can't pick it's not there and a prime example of that one as we're speaking at the moment no one's going to nightclubs in the UK so you can't even fly people outside nightclubs or going to nightclubs the towns and cities are dead so it's getting tougher and tougher for us promoters massively and that was the reason why we kind of made the decision to take a break out of it because we were like the costs I think the I mean like I was saying my cost for the last year's clock stock was over a million for that but it was a one day event one off event yeah so it was a one day event which I think is really hard by the way yeah I know because like when you compare what festivals are when I look in when we were chatting about it last summer I was like I was going Andy what is it one day three day three day you were like no it's a one day I was like so there's no camping you're like no there's no upgrade VIP there was no sponsorship I was like Jesus and you're spending a mil on it that's risky yeah and then you've got the the late ticket buyers now which is a massive problem yeah because we've got graphs and all the years we've done clock stock and you can just see it changing.

56:06So it would start off light and then it'd be a steady thing. Now it literally goes and then it goes right at the end. And we were very lucky last year because we were like six weeks to go. We were like, I think we were 300 grand in debt on it. And we were shitting ourselves. We were like, this could be over. And we kind of knew the sales were going to come, but we had the problem of like the world cup yeah or was it the euros i can't remember but england was basically due to play if they finished on second in the group they were due to play on the saturday the day o 'clock now i had people i didn't think about it right and i was thinking like why these tickets just so slow and then someone said to me oh look i'm i'm not going to come until i know what day england's playing i'm like you what it's horrible and um we had the luck of the gods because the tickets were going alright but they just weren't going as fast as normal as fast as we want to and then we had a week of blistering sun leading up to the event and England played I think on the Tuesday they qualified to win the group which meant they played on a Sunday I literally sat there 20 minutes after the game had finished and watch it it just went boom boom boom boom boom I'm like oh my god so literally people were waiting for the result of the game to decide but as a promoter that's not a nice place to be no it's awful I've been there you're sitting again please don't win that match because that's going to affect this and this it's going to affect the timings of the DJs on it's going it affects everything we put in our life and so into that festival and to spend 18 months nearly on doing them and then to basically put 14 and a half 15 ,000 people on a site and break even it's just the risk outweighs the reward and the thing is I love doing it and it is amazing it is bloody hard work but like you said unless something miraculously changes it's getting tough and tough we had that sort of after COVID didn't we we had that tax break where they dropped the VAT and that was a game changer but also after 2020 we lost our festival because we postponed it three times because of COVID 2021 we had the biggest year I've had in my life every festival yes correct 21 was ridiculous you look at the sums of 21 out of all the festival owners I know whether it's your Reading Leeds boom whatever it was everyone had it off like double bubble like net profit you know and then you went back to reality again in 22 23 24 and 25 is getting harder for everyone last year there were 70 festivals got cancelled in the UK and I think there's going to be even more at the end of this summer but that was kind of my reason for taking this year out I just wanted to see what and I don't think my ticket could take it to be fair I don't blame that it was stressful though it was you know it's worrying and it's not like you know you're not talking about a small amount of money here you're talking about a hell of a lot and it was it was stressful and well you're throwing a party for 10-15 ,000 people you knowing you're going to lose a pound or break even you're thinking why am I throwing this party on?

59:10all the energy that goes into it come out with Nishta I know you know I can see why a lot of promoters are pulling out but I see some promoters coming into the scene now who are launching festivals this year I'm like you know you're good luck I would run a mile if I was launching a festival now. But what I would say, where we decided, we made the decision to stop it. Yeah. And what we kind of decided was we said, let's strip it back to kind of what we was doing pre-COVID. Yeah. So we've kind of gone back to our old... Roots. Clubs. Yeah. And spread the events out. And literally everything is selling out.

59:46Yeah, but you'll have more enjoyment. You've had 20 parties instead of one. Well, I've been sold out this year for the first year since pre-COVID already. which is amazing but that's the thing where that i think that festival takes up so much time because you can't really do anything after march yeah and before september what month was your first we were june end of june okay what made you pick that date um do you know the original right so the original the reason was we did it was because it was at chelmsford yeah and um we used the infrastructure that was set up for ladies day okay so it was always going to be the uh the Saturday after Ladies Day.

1:00:20Did you get a better deal on that? Obviously, you've gone there. Did you say, right, keep that market, keep that, keep that, keep that, and we'll give you, we'll go halves. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. So we split the costs of the... How much did that festival cost you to put on in total? The first one? The last one last year in Chelmsford. In total? In production? A million. Over a million. So it's one mil break even? Yeah. Okay. Yeah. And what made, when was it, what was the point when you went, I ain't doing this again? um we we look we me and danny we'd spoke about it um we weren't we were like obviously just we we worked so hard to get that over the line we put in everything everything we had yeah and um we just we were just like it's just not worth doing it anymore you know like like with with the way things are and the cost and everything like that.

1:01:19So it was an easy decision. But like I said, we're not saying never say never. But without kind of, I think, getting in some help, like some sponsorship or a big deal or something to help soften the blow of it, it's one of them, isn't it? But the exciting decision was made. I'd say it was made before we actually had the party. yeah you know but um look i miss it but i don't miss that it was it was it was stress yeah very very stressful and like you know you're you're in there do you know the mad thing is right everyone thinks that the the main like stress of it always like the dealing with like the police and the and the council and the and the residents the residents there's everything and you have to have a thousand meetings before you yeah you know yeah the site setup's the easy bit isn't it it's It's all the donkey work that's got to be done.

1:02:16Explain to someone clockwork from 93 up until now. So you had the seven years of friend parties. You then stopped in 2000. When did you come back and start friend parties again on a timeline? So I think it was 2012. So Danny started putting up. He had all these old pictures from the good old days. And he started like just putting up loads of Facebook, like big stacks of pictures in groups. And you could just see everyone was like, oh my God, you know, amazing. What great times you should do a little reunion and all that. And then a few people started saying to me, oh, you need to do a little reunion.

1:02:59And I was like, so the thing is, hey, I've got to get Danny, you know, I can do it on my own. I can't answer. So, and we spoke previously about possibly doing it. And he was like, no, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not feeling it. I'm not feeling it. Anyway, so I run him up one day and I said, fancy it? And he went, do you know what? I think I do. And that was it, really. So we sort of just started getting the ball rolling. We said, let's do something really small. So we got McQueen's in Shoreditch. And we were thinking, oh, yeah, you know, we won't go too big. We'll just do, I think it was about 400 or 500.

1:03:34It's sold out in like a day. We were like, whoa. Want to something? Well, do you know what? we wasn't actually thinking like that at the time we did the one and then we didn't have another party for another year but it just um again it just organically grew really slowly and then it was like two parties then we were like um yeah it is it's quite it's quite mental but the good thing is i mean i'm not saying i was completely um i went on the straight narrative but danny was Danny was like, it was a dream. You know, he was a totally different human being from what he was like. Because he was fucking mad.

1:04:13And then he was like, I mean, Danny probably dragged me along because I was like still struggling with this and that and mental health. And Danny was like, Danny was Mr. Consistent. How do you think Danny looked towards you? You still banging out of it and he was clean. I don't think. For that 10 year period where you're trying to run a business. He wouldn't judge me. I did used to annoy him at times, but I still pulled my weight. I wasn't, you know, I wasn't like just off the face of the planet, but no, Danny definitely like, cause like I said, where I'm at the clubs and I'm probably off my nut and can't speak to people.

1:04:50Danny was having to like, you know, control everyone, run the show. And, and it was literally someone said, there's a problem. I'll be like, oh, can I speak to Danny? You know what I mean? Like I run a mile. Tell me some of the DJs that have played for you over Clockwork, over the years? Well, so obviously all our kind of regulars, Brandon Alex, Tallpool Seb, John Kelly, John Please, you know, many, many, all the originals. But the latter days since the festival, we've had Eric Murillo, Mark Knight, Low Stepper, Hannah Wants, Dave Morales, Roger Sanchez, Bob Sinclair, Masters at Work. so loads absolutely loads amazing tell the listener about the Ibiza party this summer what can they expect like from the time you get there you throw a week of parties explain the whole thing so we get there we start off at Café del Mar which is supposed to be a soft opening which just turns into that well we did it two years ago the first one with the orchestra and we were like oh right so we do we do a bit of sunset and then we'll have a little party upstairs and i literally was like what the it was absolute and i'm like oh that's that's got to be a regular thing so so yeah so we have sunset and then literally everyone just goes upstairs and it's like straight into the to the music um then thursday we do the boats so we take three boats out have a little tear up on the sea and then back then on the Friday this year is 528 which I'm really looking forward to because it was the old Benamusa Park and we haven't done that again since pre-COVID so looking forward to getting back there it's nice to do a new venue I know it's not a new venue but it's nice to go because people just love it when we do new spaces then Saturday the Esparody which is a vinyl only party this one so we start I think that gains about four kick off till midnight and then the beach which is the I love that beach party that was amazing wasn't it was it Tannet Beach Club are you going back to Tannet again that's made for it absolutely made for it isn't it it's just like it epitomises everything about old Ibiza like no no VIP well your beds but they're not VIP they're just beds but it's just being on a beach free anyone can come anyone can party and it's yes if you've not been it's magical one of the most amazing days I think it's probably the best the best party that we do all year quick one guys I'll be recording Eventful Lives live on stage this year at EMC 2025, the Entrepreneurs Marketing Conference, and it's going to be a banger.

1:08:00We've never done this before, so watch this space. We're taking the podcast out of the studio and into a room with 800 real business owners at an event designed to give you practical, tactical marketing strategies that you can actually implement into your own business to get results. The lineup's massive. Google are speaking, Facebook too, and I'm also going to be bringing a special guest with me. It's all happening on the 19th and 20th of September at Tobacco Dock in London. Tickets are£145 plus vat and the price will also be increasing soon. So if you run a business and want to be in the room and see me and the Eventful Lives podcast live on stage, then head over to www.emc2025.com and use the code DODGE20 if you want to get 20 % off your ticket.

1:08:42I'll see you there, guys. If you were to pick three of your best DJs, who would they be over the last 20 years? well I hate to say it because he's my mate and I don't like giving him a big head but Tall Paul was always my favourite he's unreal yeah Tall Paul I looked up to Paul like when I was coming through the ranks yeah he was just like I just like loved like his productions yeah and I was like I'd love to be like make music like him and so he was always and technically Paul is brilliant yeah proper professional no he's just proper professional very very talented we had him on the podcast yeah last year or something yeah and then again going on previous like just for me my personal taste Eric Murillo yeah like just from back in the them sort of like late early 2000s yeah seeing him in Ibiza and yeah it's incredible just like some of the things I mean what I've seen witness with him at space on that Terrace and then.

1:09:51I've got to pick another one now, haven't I? Yeah. Do you know what I'm going to pick, right, because he's one of my best mates, but he's one of the most amazing DJs and he's a guy who goes by now with Owen Clark. Owen Clark. Owen Clark, okay. He is just, he's on my, so we're both into our techie house and we love new music and that man is the most dedicated man to life. He loves it and he's just, he's such a good DJ. So I'm going to pick someone a bit off key. Yeah, yeah. So yeah, he's known as the Twisted Puffin. So we call him, yeah. I'm Dr. Filth, aren't I, from the radio? And he's the Twisted Puffin.

1:10:26So we're going to start a new night called Twisted Filth. Yeah, where we give people like eight hours of just squelchy, dirty beats. Yeah. Tell me what the future holds for you, Andy. Well, look, you know, Clockwork's still going from strength to strength. Don't know how many more years we've got left in us. Hopefully loads. You know what? I think there'll be a lot of people upset if you end up stopping that party. Look, we're not got any plans to do anything, but it's like, look, we just, what is with Clockwork? We just want to keep it magical because it's very difficult to raise the bar. And we seem to be able to do it.

1:11:04That's the crazy thing. Whatever we do, it can't get no better. And then it does. But look, just put on amazing shows for everyone. Create like what Daniel said, we want to create magic for everyone. me on a personal level I'm in a good place I'm obviously 16 months sober it's just been game changing for me with you know just how I feel with myself and how my mental health is and stuff like that because I was in a pretty shitty dark place and no one sees that because I paint this picture like when you see me out I wear a mask and that's another thing the man you see at Clockwork Orange or at gigs he's not the man you see on a monday morning when i wake up and i'm and and that's the mad thing i can you can put it on like you know when i have to go on the radio i have to put on a show and i put on a show like when i'm out but when you're when you're back home on a monday and you're lonely and you're this and you're out after the gigs it's um it can be really hard and lonely you know andy i love this mate love you're honest deep yeah man i love your honesty man and even like 14 16 months in clean that's powerful think about you've been caning it for 30 years you know and have you noticed around you your relationships get better with friends and family yeah um i mean i look i i i obviously my my marriage ended god uh about five years ago I don't speak to Jo, my ex, and I'm, look, it is what it is.

1:12:38I can't, I mean, I want to reach out to her at some point because I've got two beautiful children. I'm going to get upset in a minute. I've got two beautiful children, like, with her. They're amazing, like Ellie and Alex, and they're, like, How old are they? They're 20 and 23 now. But, yeah, I mean, look, it's just a shame that, you know, it didn't work out. I think it's a lot to do with addiction and all that sort of stuff. But with Jade, I mean, she's amazing. Jade, she's the most beautiful, loveliest girl on the planet. If Jade's listening right now, is there any word you've got for her? She's my beautiful princess.

1:13:23That's what I need to say to her. She knows what that means. But she's been so... I mean, look, we've had our ups and downs. I ain't going to lie. but it needed what happened to it needed rock bottom really for me to hit rock bottom to actually think about what i really want in life you know and that's that's the the crazy thing i i had you know like i said like i said that christmas i had everything i could possibly want and i and i basically did fucked it up and did stupid things um make the past is the past mate it is and that's another big thing yeah like moving forwards now you're clean look you can't you can't change the past you can't predict the future all you can deal with is basically now today present today what's going on but people have got people have got the guilt from the past they've got the fear of the future so it's all about today yeah and it is hard because you can hold on to stuff and that was another thing I used to do I'd hold one of my big problems was when something pissed me off you'd hold a grudge I'd hold on to it and I'd take it waste of energy man and what we were speaking about earlier waste of energy anything you can't control yeah let go don't waste your time on it it don't matter have you read Mel Robbins no I haven't it's this let them theory but it's all about that yeah yeah so have a read Andy I absolutely love this mate where can people find you um well on my socials on your socials old boy okay I don't know I don't know so my um DJ Andy Manston or Andy Manston if you can't get on the Facebook one because it's full up in it but and then Clockwork Clockwork Orange of course or Andy Manston on Insta yeah lovely mate you're a gentleman I appreciate you coming down here mate is that it yeah mate how long have we been going on it feels about 10 minutes it feels that way doesn't it hour and 10 wow goes quick doesn't it that's gone so quick yeah mate Andy loved it mate thank you mate cheers pal thank you look forward to seeing you this summer you coming up for this summer yeah mate wicked mate good man cheers mate thank you bye bye wicked mate really good Hi, guys.

1:15:28I really hope you enjoyed that as much as I did. Can you do us a favor and leave us a review as it massively helps us grow the show? Cheers, guys.

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